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we sit alone so comfortably in the silence // if I touch you would you be surprised // did we drift out closer to a compromise
Inside These Lines – Trent Dabbs
As soon as she walked into the bar, she wished she could turn around and walk right back out.
The high-top near the jukebox was occupied by three young medical professionals, all of whom turned her direction as soon as she walked by. Kit checked her phone and cursed societal convention, walking past them and towards the open seats at the bar. The afternoon was bad enough, and now she could feel the gazes of Nic, Conrad, and Devon on her, no doubt discussing the topic of earlier that day.
In the hallway, of all places, right there in the open in a place of business, she was getting set up with a stranger. By a colleague. A nurse practitioner thirty years her junior was putting her love life, or lack thereof, on display and inviting her for a blind date.
Already she knew that the excuse from the afternoon was weak, and now she was alone at the neighborhood bar, clearly not making the most of a Friday night. She was caught in a blatant lie about having a life outside of the hospital, and there was no way to make it convincing unless she tripped into a date with the next eligible bachelor to walk through the door.
She rolled her eyes at the thought. The only thing more pathetic than being caught in a lie was wishing that the universe could send her a man just because she asked nicely.
Just as she was about to turn away, the door to the bar opened, revealing a familiar leather jacket and the car keys to a Porsche. Of all the people to walk through the door next, it was none other than Dr. Randolph Bell. The pieces fell into place quickly and before Kit could question the sign from above, she muttered a quiet prayer of reprieve and waved him over.
Once he was close enough, Kit smiled and touched his arm, a warm and affectionate greeting that made him wonder if he was asleep in the on call room and dreaming, or if he really had walked into the corner bar after a long day as planned.
“You’re late,” she said, ordering him a beer without looking up. “I was beginning to think you had blown me off.”
“Wh—”
Kit leaned closer as he accepted the drink, keeping the conversation private, and whispered, “Just… pretend to be my date tonight. Please? I’ll explain later.”
There was no time to respond before her hand was around his elbow and he was wordlessly guided towards a booth along the wall. To his credit, Randolph did not look shocked or confused, and kept his eyes trained forward to avoid suspicion.
He fell into the act quickly, having played this role a few times before. Even with the limited explanation, he knew there was a reason for this. Kit would not ask unless she was desperate. Perhaps she had run into an ex, or she needed a buffer to avoid a conversation with friends or coworkers… or worse. His stomach turned at the possibility of her being the recipient of unwanted advances but he pushed forward, focusing on the feeling of her hand around his arm.
It was easy to be beside her, and at the very least, he could play things up for her protection.
Once they were alone in the booth and out of earshot, he needed more details. “What’s going on? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” She glanced towards the table of three, and explained, “I need to convince our prying colleagues that we’re in a relationship.”
His heart stopped racing once he knew that she was safe, but the protective instinct was quickly replaced by confusion. His back stiffened and he twisted his brow, silently forming a response that earned a gentle eye roll.
“Relax, it’s just pretend,” she continued.
“What if I don’t want to pretend?”
She smirked and drummed her fingers over his shoulder. “Scared you’ll like it?”
In an instant, the energy shifted. Gone was the apprehension and confusion of earlier, replaced by an invitation to a challenge that he planned to rise to.
“It’s not me I’m worried about. I can pretend.” Randolph leaned closer and brushed his lips over the curls near her ear, lowering his voice an octave as he whispered, “Can you?”
There had always been a flirtation to their banter but now the stakes were higher and there was an audience. The tension had bloomed in the low light of the bar and had spread over the table, palpable and emboldening.
Kit curled her hand around his shoulder and allowed her hair to curtain her face and hide the whisper. “How much fun do you want to have with our coworkers?”
He rolled his eyes and returned the grin in silent acknowledgement. The local bar down the street from the hospital was hardly the place for public displays of affection, but through the course of the evening, Randolph grew increasingly aware of how tactile Kit was, and how absentminded it was. She toyed with the cuff of his sweater, leaned against his shoulder when she spoke, and nudged his knee with hers after making a joke as if it were something they had been doing for months.
They both fell into the act easily and it was not long before the closeness became routine. The signals were enough to ward off any prying eyes and seemed to entertain the group of colleagues across the room. They were safely out of earshot, but Randolph could tell that the others were stealing glances, and noticed Kit’s eyes wander that direction more than once. Doctors, it appeared, were not subtle when it came to investigation.
He tapped a finger against her hand and waited for her attention to return. “Not that I’m complaining, but are you going to tell me why we’re suddenly dating?”
Kit traced one finger along the rim of her glass and glanced towards the table of Devon, Conrad, and Nic. Part of her did not want to reveal the desperation behind the evening, but a larger part of her knew that he would work it out of her eventually. He always did.
She sighed into the drink and avoided his eyes. “Nic Nevin, bless her soul, is playing matchmaker.”
“You’re kidding.” He sat back into the booth and smirked. A blush had started to bloom over her neck, not only from the alcohol, and he was entranced by the color’s path. “Oh, this is going to be good,” he teased, taking a long swig of beer and gesturing for her to continue the explanation.
“It was mortifying enough when my own daughter asked me if I was ‘having any fun’, and now I’m getting set up by my coworkers in the fourth floor hallway! Honestly, is it that obvious that it’s been a while?”
“You’re not the only one in a drought,” he shrugged, “Did she give you any details about this mystery blind date?”
“A ‘radiologist who recently moved to Atlanta’. If she did say anything else, I stopped listening.”
The scene came to life in his head, stark white walls and royal blue scrubs blending with the blush he assumed was present there, too, amplified by how her hair was tied back this morning. It was entertaining from a third party perspective, but he was more surprised that Kit was so uninterested. Perhaps it was the prospect of a blind date, or dating another doctor, or dating in general, or because she did already have some element of romance in her life. Kit Voss captured the energy of everyone in a room just by walking into it, and it was hard to believe that she did not do the same in her personal life.
Even tonight, all she had to do was approach him with a smile and whisper in his ear, and he was ready to do whatever she asked.
“Hold on,” he muttered, his thoughts finally catching up to him. “How do I fit in to all this?”
“To deflect interest, I… may have told Nic that I was already seeing someone.”
His eyes went wide. “And that someone is me?” He laughed, “Kit, you realize that this is just going to make them talk about your love life more than they are already!”
“I realize that now, thank you.”
“You really thought that dating me would downplay their interest?”
Despite the hushed tone, Randolph was about two seconds away from full bellied laughter at her expense. She hit his arm and shoved him away, hoping the physical contact would speak for her, but what happened next stunned her to silence.
He caught her hand, the wide expanse of his palm easily dwarfing hers, and traced his thumb over the back of her knuckles. Her breath caught and her gaze fell to his eyes, following the motions of his thumb, focused and attentive. The warmth of his stare made her shiver, and goosebumps pricked up along her wrist.
He noted the chill and whispered, “Too much?” without looking up.
“No.” Her answer was quiet, almost dazed. Kit turned her palm over to rest against his, all of her attention drawn to the contact and the warmth it brought. “Your hands are very soft.”
The unexpected answer cued a low chuckle. “A surgeon’s touch.” In his periphery, Randolph could see Devon walk by, no doubt to check on their table, and his grip tightened instinctively. “I think they’re buying it.”
Kit was still focused on the softness of his hands and did not look up to confirm his suspicions. The shiver had been replaced by a subtle heat, the closeness and the alcohol amplifying every touch and every feeling, and she curled closer. “I think so, too.”
“Do you want another drink?”
Were it not for his hand leaving hers, she may have missed the question all together. Immediately she felt cold again, but the chill was accompanied by a harsh dose of reality.
“No, I have an early morning tomorrow. I should get going soon.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Randolph gestured silently for the check and the winked. “To keep them guessing.”
When he walked into the bar this evening and became an emergency lifeboat, she was only relieved to not have to deal with more wondering about her love life. Now, she found herself wondering about it in a very different way. It was a long shot, and likely a bad idea in more ways than one, but he was gentle, sweet, and attentive, and more than anything, dependable. Combined with the qualities she already knew he had, dating him was not entirely out of the realm of possibility, was it?
Kit covered his hand with hers and said, “I really do appreciate you keeping them off my case tonight. And I know that I blindsided you and stole your evening, so I promise to make it up to you.”
He waved his hand in front of his chest to refuse the offer. “I can be a good pretend date,” he smiled.
“And a good real one, I’m sure.”
“Oh, absolutely. This was just drinks in a bar after work, I wasn’t even trying to get you to come home with me.”
“Well, well… why am I not surprised that you would have a five point plan to do just that.” Leaning one elbow onto the table, she twirled a lock of hair dramatically around her finger and smiled back to him. There was a blush creeping up the back of his neck, like he had just heard what he said out loud for the first time, and she took advantage of the admission. “Tell me, what are the Pillars of Courtship, authored by Randolph Bell?”
He shook his head. “You’ll just have to find out.”
With the bill paid, he helped the coat over her shoulders and kept her hand low on her back as they exited the bar, not acknowledging the earlier flirtation. He also did not look to the table of coworkers and instead opened and held the door and let the cool outside breeze settle his nerves.
Her arm slid into the crook of his elbow. “If word travels around Chastain as quickly as I think it does, we will become a subject of conversation after tonight. This charade may have to continue until some other gossip item catches the attention of our younger colleagues,” she said.
“I can stomach that.”
Her hand once again collided with his arm in mock insult. “Touching.”
“C’mon, Kit. There are far worse things in the world than pretending to be in a relationship with you for a few weeks. But I should warn you that my charm is highly mesmerizing, so you may find yourself falling for…”
“And just like that, I’m reminded of your intolerable ego,” she interrupted.
He stepped away as she opened her car and put his hands in his pocket, the smile spreading wider over his face. This was what they did; the back-and-forth, the banter, the insults and compliments disguised as insults, all a magnetic push and pull that made them a subject of conversation already. It was fun, more fun than he had had in years. Tonight, he came to the bar to unwind and sulk, and he was leaving with… fun.
“Goodnight, Dr. Voss,” he finally said, leaning into the open window.
Kit smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Until tomorrow, darling.”
It was not until after her car had left the parking lot that he realized there was no audience for the kiss.