Chapter Text
Some things in the world are meant to be, Jungkook and Taehyung are among those things.
They're the perfect picture of an ideal couple. If chemistry were a couple, it’d be them. The product that these two make with each other is enough for a person to swoon, and for the heart to yearn for the exact same thing.
Standing at a stovetop, a brunette hums to himself, hips swaying and head following along with the movements. Taehyung cannot complete a task whilst keeping silent. A wall away, Jungkook works at his desk, looking at documents he wishes he didn’t take home with him. Beside him, his earphones are redundant, the man who can’t work without something playing in the background listening to something far more alluring to the ear.
Two pieces in a puzzle. Taehyung completes Jungkook.
It’s 5:54 pm. Taehyung looks up at the clock and frowns as he takes a look at the door. He pauses, listening closely for any movement that could be happening from outside, but as another few minutes pass, Taehyung shakes his head and heads for the living room.
Taehyung turns the television on to a channel he has seen too often, grabbing the remote, he presses the small red record button. Just as a small icon appears on the screen, the phone in his pocket goes off.
“Baby,” Jungkook says from the other side, voice sounding anxious and stressed.
“All done, Jeon Jungkook. Your baseball game recording will be waiting for you when you get home,” Taehyung chuckles, chucking the remote onto the couch before leaving the room, and the sounds of a stadium cheering, behind him.
“Baby,” the pout is evident from his tone, and Taehyung can only smile at the sound.
“Just say you love me and go.”
“I love you so much, Kim Taehyung. I’ll be home soon, it’s been a stressful day,” Jungkook whines in the last sentence.
“Hurry up so I can kiss the stress away while you stuff your face in front of the television,” Taehyung says, recalling a memory that happens rather often in their home.
Taehyung knows Jungkook like the back of his hand.
Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung are meant to be, but that isn’t to say that they’re perfect.
“You really don’t want to be a father?” Jungkook looks at Taehyung, waiting for a reaction. The reaction isn’t given, Taehyung merely sighing as he sits in front of his dresser, drying his hair with a towel.
“Jungkook, I thought I made that point very clear when we started dating.”
Jungkook looks down at the sheets, biting on his lip from where he lies on the bed. “You did, I just thought that maybe you would have changed your mind. We’d always spend time with my brother and his family, and you’re always so fond of his kids.”
“I’m fond of kids, I always have been. I just don’t think I’m capable of raising kids, Jungkook. Looking at where we are both at in our careers, I don’t think we’d even have the time,” Taehyung says, the towel that was in his hands and drying his hair, now sitting on his lap and dampening his shorts.
“Don’t use our careers as an excuse, or the fact that you think you can’t raise one. You’d be an amazing father, why can’t you see that?” Jungkook frowns, now sitting on the bed.
“You’re the only person that I can see myself having a kid with. Kim Taehyung, you’re an incredible man and you’d excel at anything!”
“Please try to understand that I really don’t want kids, Jungkook. Yes, I was using our careers as an excuse, because it’s the only way I can talk you out of this idea. I don’t want kids, Jungkook. I don’t think I can give you that, but I’ll give you everything else,” Taehyung stands and walks over to the bed, sitting on Jungkook’s side and reaching out for his hands. He expects Jungkook to pull away, but is pleasantly surprised when he captures Jungkook’s hand in his.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Taehyung questions.
“Give everything else to me. I don’t think I could ever live without you. Even though I’m disappointed, we’re more important,” Jungkook attempts to smile, squeezing Taehyung’s hand.
“But if you ever decide that one day you do want kids, I have to be the first to know.”
Taehyung smiles, though feeling guilty for having caused Jungkook’s disappointment and for shooting down a dream he wanted to send to orbit.
“You will be the first to know, for sure,” Taehyung says. Jungkook can almost smell the uncertainty coming off from Taehyung. Jungkook knows Taehyung too well because he knows when Taehyung’s mind is set on something, you can move heaven and earth and he still won’t change his mind. It’s the curse of being too perfect for each other, you know and understand things that you wish aren’t true. All Jungkook can do is bask in his wishful thinking.
Laying his head on Taehyung’s shoulder, he chants words of persuasion to convince his heart and to ease his mind.
Children have always been a subject that Taehyung treated as taboo. He often hummed at the hints or comments that Jungkook dropped, or even diverted the topic of the conversation altogether.
———
“My parents need to stop asking us to come to these things,” Jungkook complains as Taehyung adjusts his bowtie. When Jungkook doesn’t earn a response, he looks Taehyung in the face and realises he’s deep in thought. Since their conversation about fatherhood, Taehyung has had moments of silence, as if pondering and mulling over a thought or idea.
“Tae, baby?”
“Huh?” Taehyung’s eyes snap to look at Jungkook, blushing at the sudden reminder that he’s right in front of his boyfriend. Taehyung finds a comb lying on the top of the dresser, and begins to perfect the part of Jungkook’s dark locks. He smiles at the image of brown-haired Jungkook. The fact of the matter was that his hair was brown, but that it was the shape of a coconut. Their first year of dating mainly comprised of Taehyung knocking on Jungkook’s head and declaring it ‘ripe’ whenever he said something smart.
“You should get a bowl cut again,” Taehyung declares, earning a roll of the eyes from the ex-coconut head.
“I said my parents have to stop inviting us to these things, and nothing about my coconut hair. I thought we promised to never speak of that ever again?” Jungkook says, following Taehyung’s eyes and maintaining eye contact.
“They have to, Mister Director. They don’t even invite you, it’s compulsory for you to attend these things - especially your own company’s anniversary gala. Besides, we can eat a bunch of overpriced canopies and that’s not all that bad. You look all hot with this parted hair, but I kind of miss cute Jungkookie” Taehyung says, patting down Jungkook’s shoulders before turning around to tie his own bow tie, with the comb tucked between his lips.
Jungkook notices the way Taehyung’s smile immediately goes flaccid as he turns away, sucked back into the realm of his thoughts.
“Baby, are you alright? Are we alright?” In this world where Jungkook and Taehyung are meant to be, this is a question seldom - or not, asked at all.
“Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?” Taehyung smiles, bow tie tied and comb back to where it belongs on the dresser.
Jungkook opens his mouth, ready to say something, but he decides against it and smiles back at Taehyung with a shake of his head, “Nothing.”
“Shall we go?” Taehyung offers his hand to Jungkook. Jungkook takes it willingly, giving him a reassuring squeeze as their fingers lace together. Hand in hand, they make it out to an awaiting car, hands still tightly closed together throughout the entire journey. Neither of the two wants to let go, regardless of how many times they’ve held hands, something tells them that tonight is different from all those other nights.
Hands sweaty, and still glued to each other, the two awkwardly get out of the vehicle once they arrive at the venue. Men and women in formal attire come and give their greetings to the pair. Members of Jungkook’s team watch from afar, smiling at the couple. Though they barely see the two together, their chemistry is already far spread in Jungkook’s company.
Champagne is the first thing that Taehyung spots as they walk into the decorated room. For the first time since leaving home, Taehyung lets go of Jungkook’s hand. He reaches for two glasses, handing one to Jungkook who almost pouts at the emptiness he suddenly feels. Jungkook, however, is quick to make up for it, pulling Taehyung in by the waist.
“Jungkook!” Taehyung exclaims, just managing to balance the glass in his hands.
“Let’s go find my parents,” Jungkook whispers. Keeping a tight hold on Taehyung’s waist, he walks around with Taehyung being paraded on his arm. Taehyung can feel the eyes, those of the judgmental and those who are envious. He’s used to the stares, but tonight, he’s more conscious of them.
“Jungkook-ah, Taehyung-ah!” Taehyung smiles on instinct after hearing the voice. A woman, dressed in a full-length dress, dusted with crystals and glitter, makes a beeline in their direction. Jungkook is barely able to let go of Taehyung when he’s pulled into a bone-crushing hug.
“Eomma, I need air,” Jungkook taps at his mother’s back, body going lax when he’s finally released from the death hold.
His hands fly up to stop his mom from doing the same to his precious boyfriend, but it’s too late. Taehyung bears the hug better than Jungkook did, one hand outstretched and keeping his champagne safe while the other is draped around Mrs Jeon.
“I don’t see you two enough, you shouldn’t complain,” Mrs Jeon pats her son’s shoulder.
“You both look lovely, love,” Jungkook almost groans when his mother places a small kiss on his cheek and adjusts the collar of his suit.
“Thank you, Mrs Jeon,” Taehyung smiles, free hand finding its safe place locked with Jungkook’s.
“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Eomma? Jungkook, tell your darling boyfriend that he needs to stop calling me as if I’m a stranger. For crying out loud, I call you every so often you should consider me your best friend by now,” Mrs Jeon smiles, Jungkook raising a brow in Taehyung’s direction.
“So that’s what you’re doing in your office when the line is busy. You’re talking smack about me to my own mother?” A smirk appears on Jungkook’s face.
“Of course not, only good things. Your mom actually shares recipes with me,” Taehyung innocently smiles at Jungkook, “isn’t that right, Eomma?”
“That’s right, son. That wasn’t so hard to say, now was it?”
“Are we pestering the children, again Ji-ah?” A man with the same chiselled jaw as Jungkook, and hair highlighted with streaks of silver walks up to their group.
“Of course not, I’m attempting to catch up with them. Stop thinking so negatively of me,” Jeon Ji-ah shakes her head, the diamond earrings she wears catching the light superbly as they dangle on her ears.
If there’s one thing to remember about Taehyung’s relationship with Jungkook’s family, it’s that they’re just as smitten by him as Jungkook is. At times, Jungkook wonders if he’s the son of the family, but he only muses about it, in reality, he prides himself of the fact. The amazing qualities his boyfriend possesses are just as evident to other people as they are to him.
“I’m sorry, my love. I was just kidding,” Jeon Senior says, “now, how have the two of you been doing? Jungkook is far too busy nowadays to bring you over to the house, Taehyung.”
Taehyung chuckles, taking a sip of his champagne. “We’ve both been busy. Things at the company have been busy for me as well,” Taehyung says, referring to the 9-5 job he works as a graphic designer for a company.
“Speaking of work, have you decided to take the offer at the art school in Europe?” Mr Jeon asks, and at the question Jungkook’s body tenses. If Taehyung had a word he considered taboo, art school was Jungkook’s.
“I don’t think he will be, Dad. He’s doing well enough here, and the job is enjoyable. Isn’t that right, babe?” Jungkook asks, looking over at his boyfriend who smiles a little tensely and holds his tongue from saying something he may regret.
“It’s enjoyable, but I haven’t quite made the decision about the offer. There are a lot of factors to consider, and I’ve been making my way down that list. I’ve been given ample time to make the decision, so I’m trying not to stress too much about it,” Taehyung says as calmly as he can. Over the past few weeks, this topic of conversation just never made it to the agenda of any conversation.
“I suggest you take it, Taehyung-ah. Go live your dream, there’ll be plenty of time to marry Jungkook and have kids in the future,” at that, the pair turn pink in the cheeks, Taehyung almost choking on the sip of champagne in his mouth. No matter where they are, the topic has been following Taehyung around like a shadow. No matter what time of day, the shadow is still there, just not as prominent at times. Right now, he can see the shadow, its presence is louder than it usually is when he sits in his office with his stylus in hand.
“Appa, let’s not think that far ahead. Tae hasn’t even made a decision about art school and you’re thinking about marriage,” Jungkook jumps back into the conversation. Somehow, the words frightened him. They frightened him because he knows they scare Taehyung.
“Jungkook, marriage doesn’t have to wait for art school,” Ji-ah smiles, looking at the couple rather expectantly. “It has been five years, and you’ve known each other for longer. I try not to be that overbearing and expectant mother, but I can’t help it when I see you two are just meant to be. Whenever I look at you together, I can’t help but see the future and oh- it’s just so beautiful.”
Taehyung feels as though a heap has been dumped onto his shoulders. Everything feels like a lot right now, and there’s only so much that his heart and mind can take. Jungkook nods, smiling a closed-lipped smile before turning to Taehyung, “I don’t know about you, but I see our future together as you, and me, at that open bar,” Jungkook points to the lit bar on the other side of the room.
“Seems Jungkook sees a different future,” Taehyung tries to release a relaxed chuckle, he thinks by trying he can convince himself to relax. “We’ll have you over for dinner sometime and we can talk more then, gotta keep this big baby happy.”
Managing to get away from the questions and the gazes, Jungkook and Taehyung head right over to the bar that Jungkook had mentioned earlier.
“The strongest thing you have please,” Taehyung says the moment he reaches the bar stool, placing his empty champagne flute on the counter.
They know each other too well, and it’s beginning to become a curse to Jungkook.
“Strong? Baby, you never drink anything strong. If this is abou-”
“This isn’t the time or place for this conversation. We can talk about it when we get home,” Taehyung takes the glass handed over to him, taking a long swig of his liquid anaesthesia. The intensity of the beverage causes Taehyung to wince, Jungkook takes the glass away from him the moment he shows distaste.
“I’ll have that, thank you very much. When we get home, please tell me what’s going on in your head, Tae. You’ve been like this for the past two weeks, and I need to know what’s happening. You always tell me to talk when I have a problem, and right now this is my problem and it’s clear you do too. So this time, you’re gonna talk and I’m going to listen,” Jungkook presses a hasty kiss on Taehyung’s cheek before a member of the board calls out to him and whisks him away from Taehyung’s side.
Taehyung orders something a little less frightening, sitting there alone sipping on his drink whilst diving into his head and a heart full of emotions.
The night moves slowly, for Jungkook. Taehyung, on the other hand, wishes he had more time to sort through his thoughts. Time isn't in Taehyung’s favour, as soon he sits silently beside Jungkook on the car ride home. Neither of the two speaks a word, saving all the drafts for when they reach the safety of their four walls. Neither of the two reaches out for the other, hands on laps and missing the warmth that they could find when clasping each other.
The front door shuts, while Taehyung flicks the lights back on. Too afraid to initiate the conversation, Taehyung walks down the hallway and towards their bedroom. Jungkook follows on his heels, yanking the bow tie free and unbuttoning the shirt that threatens to suffocate him. The night had dragged on long, having to bear with the fake smiles and the business talking men, Jungkook is now ready to get down to the real business.
Jungkook throws the bowtie onto the bed, leaning against the dresser beside the door. He doesn’t speak, he just watches and waits as Taehyung continues to formulate the right words. No pressuring words come out of Jungkook’s mouth, he simply watches as Taehyung carefully hangs his blazer and folds his bow tie neatly. Taehyung is uncuffing his sleeves when he finally speaks.
“What do you see in our future, Jungkook?”
“What?”
Taehyung finishes up the sleeve he’s rolling, before sighing and looking up to meet Jungkook’s eyes. “What do you see when you see me?”
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow, lips almost forming a pout as he looks at Taehyung in confusion. He expected Taehyung to say a lot of things, but asking him this wasn’t in the imaginary list he had formulated in his mind, instead of listening to the people who were talking his head off.
“Your mom said when she looks at us she sees a bright and happy future, something beautiful. So now I’m asking you, what do you see when you look at me?” Taehyung says with a voice that is the complete opposite to his currently very disarrayed thoughts and emotions.
“I see- I see the love of my life, the man I am meant to be with. That’s what I see. That’s not all I see, I also see my soulmate, my best friend and the most talented and gorgeous man I have ever met. There are a lot of things I see when I look at you that I can’t even list them out if I tried,” Jungkook says, exasperated but still confused as to how this is all relevant.
“Do you see a future with me, Jungkook?”
“Heck, yes. What sort of question is that?” Jungkook replies almost instantaneously.
“Then if you do, how come five years into our relationship and fantasising about that moment, you haven’t yet asked me to marry you? I know how much you want to marry, Jungkook. Marriage has always been something you’ve dreamt about.”
“You wanna get married? If you wanna get married, I’ll drive home right now and grab my mother’s ring because I will do it,” Jungkook is shushed by the lone finger that Taehyung raises to his lips.
“Ask yourself that question, Jungkook. Really, really ask yourself. Why have you not asked me to marry you?” Taehyung looks at him with a melancholy mist in his gaze. The more that Taehyung merely waits, the more the realisation finally catches up to Jungkook.
“You’re ready for commitment, a spouse, a family and a fruitful career. Me, I am a bird whose wings are clipped, just waiting for my feathers to grow back and to fly out into that big wide world with dreams I wanna pursue. You didn’t ask me because you knew- no, you know I can’t give you what you dream of, Kook.”
Jungkook shakes his head, turning away from Taehyung and moving a few steps away. “No. You can’t speak for me. You don’t know my reasons, Taehyung.”
“Baby, don’t deny it. It’s true.”
“What do you mean, it's true? I fucking love you, Kim Taehyung. You were my past, you are my present and I want you to be my future,” Jungkook winces as he looks at Taehyung with tears in his eyes.
“I know you love me, I can see it in every little thing you do. But I’m not your future, Jungkook. We were meant to be, just not made to last,” Taehyung lets a tear roll down his cheeks, a bitter smile on his golden face.
“Can’t you see, Jungkook, we are clipping each other's wings,” Taehyung says, watching as Jungkook shakes his head with his gaze held on the floor. “I cannot fulfil the domestic fantasy that you have lived your whole life dreaming of, and you cannot let me go to follow the path that has finally opened, after years of toiling for the chance to enter.”
Jungkook turns around, face glowing with the tears that have already spilt from his eyes. The truth in Taehyung’s words pierces his very being, but that doesn’t make them any easier to accept. Each and every word is a spoonful of sour medicine, Jungkook knows he needs to take it, but the taste it leaves in his mouth cannot go ignored.
“It’s true, I want to get married and I do want a family but above everything else I want you,” Jungkook’s face is contorted with pain with every single word he says.
Taehyung shakes his head, walking up to Jungkook and cupping those damp cheeks with his hands. “No, Jungkook. This is where we are hurting each other. For five years, we’ve been hurting ourselves like some sort of silent sickness. Our problem is that we’re trying too hard to become someone and fulfil something that we cannot.
I’ve tried Jungkook. I’ve tried to become that husband that you have longed for, for so long. The fact I don’t want children; there was a point where I said I’d try to be a father even though I don’t really want to be. It took me too long to realise that what’s going on isn’t healthy, Kook. Instead of prioritising yourself, you’ve been putting me on a pedestal, sacrificing something you know would make you happy just to keep me.”
“I do that because I love you, ” Jungkook whispers, hands grasping Taehyung’s wrists.
“But it’s hurting you. I know I’m not the only one who felt horrible after talking to your parents tonight. You know what you’re losing by being with me, and the thought of what you’re losing makes you unhappy but you refuse to acknowledge that..I don’t want you unhappy,” Taehyung smiles sadly, more salt-filled tears streaming down his face.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says, head lowering a sob breaking out of his lips. The truth had always been there, but he always chose to overlook it. Taehyung is right, trying to fit the dreams of another person isn’t healthy, and unknowingly he had been doing just that.
“Follow your dreams, Jungkook. Build that happy family that you see in your future, find that spouse who’s willing to stay by your side and give you that because they were meant for it,” Taehyung says.
“I’ve always had an inkling of what was really happening under the surface, it just wasn’t til this week that I’ve finally realised what needs to happen. Trust me, kook, I’m sorry. I wanna be selfish and cling onto you, but that won’t do anything for the both of us,” Taehyung’s thumbs wipe at the tears on Jungkook’s face. The sight of Jungkook in pieces breaks Taehyung equally. It’s a sight that he’s only ever seen in his nightmares, and it’s a sight he hopes will not be permanent. Jungkook will find his joy, but it just won’t be in him. He’ll find the person who’s /meant/ to be his forever.
“Can we be selfish one last time? Cling to me one last time, please,” Jungkook pleads, hands flying upwards to hold Taehyung’s face which has been warmed by his tears.
“One last time, and then we’ll let go.”
The two share a kiss, wet, soft and slow. The last goodbye, before they let each other’s wings grow again and fly free from the ideals they were attempting to conform to.
Still, in their formal attire, they lay in bed and did exactly what Jungkook had asked. The two cling onto each other, silently and tearfully so. Their eyes are fixed on each other, both trying to memorise the features that they don’t want to ever forget. At some point, Jungkook lifts a hand to trace along Taehyung’s face, the small action causing Taehyung to break down in tears yet again.
Jungkook and Taehyung were meant to be, but they weren’t made to last.