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It was well late in the evening - past midnight, actually - when both a young man and young woman barged into a humble wooden cabin, not bundled up nearly enough to handle the weather they had just escaped from the outdoors.
They staggered inside as fast as they could, cursing loudly. The man had closed the door as fast as he could, leaving behind the pale darkness outside. The winds billowed and almost screeched against the shelter walls. This was getting ridiculous; VALORANT Protocol had been sent out to deal with another Omega invasion from VALORANT Legion, but during a time where dangerous snow storms had been forecast in the Northern areas. Why was Omega doing this? It didn't matter, Omega lost, Alpha won, and it wouldn't change the fact it was cold as shit.
"You sure there's nothing you can do about this storm, Wind Girl?" he called out, fastening the locks immediately. He shuddered, throwing off his sweater hood from his head. His white jacket's LED lapels glowed brightly with an animated fire, pulsing erratically with an orange glow.
He heard a switch being flicked, and a warm, generous light illuminating the room they were in. The hum of non-standardized electricity was present in the air; there was a power source in this cabin, even if it wasn't up-to-date. That was good.
His companion, Wind Girl, had scoffed back at him. When the man turned around, he saw her leaning against the wall near the door, also shuddering and rubbing at her sleeve-covered arms. She lifted one hand and also threw off her hood to reveal silvery white hair tied up in a loose ponytail, and striking blue eyes that matched the colour of the clear sky if it wasn't being throttled by offensive amounts of snow.
She also lowered a scarf she had been wearing, and the man noted her teeth chattering while she glared towards him.
"Phoenix, we've been over this; I can control wind, I can't control nature. No way I'm controlling a storm like this." The woman kicked off her shoes before lifting a leg and pushing it down at the end of her toes. Using her feet, she tugged off her black wet socks with a noise of disgust from her lips. "Why don't you go light up the fireplace instead of asking what I can do, huh, Fire Boy?!"
The man with dark brown locs - dyed orange at the tips, just like his lapels and the accents on his stylish jacket - had rolled his own eyes back, loosening his own scarf that he had been wearing and kicking his own shoes off. He made a note to also take off his soaked socks later when his feet made contact with the rug on the ground that said - predictably, in generic calligraphy - Home Sweet Home.
"Right, find me the fireplace and I'll get on that, yeah?" he shot back.
Jett raised an eyebrow, and a gust of wind that he knew wasn't a natural draft suddenly blew and whistled past his ears almost tauntingly. Phoenix yelped, shivering again and cursing aloud as he glared back at her dramatically. Jett just laughed back before she pointed across from where they stood at the door.
The fireplace, surely enough, had given them a warm welcome that they completely failed to notice. It was, as expected, not electric, and there was a pile of firewood in a metal rack waiting for them near the brick and clay furnace.
Phoenix nodded with a hum, before he raised his hand out towards her. "Want me to take your scarf, Jett?"
"No, God, not right now; it's still freezing, dude! Gimme a sec; I'll put it away when I'm ready." Jett began looking around the interior from where she stood. Her hands stopped gripping her arms and fell to the side, and she started pacing the room to inspect everything. Phoenix, finishing taking off his socks and placing them inside his shoes, followed suit, looking around the interior himself.
It seemed cozy enough and while the outside had an older organic log cabin feel - probably ages or so ago, around the 1980's era for aesthetic - but the inside had varnished, smoothed-down walls, and the glass windows had been sealed pretty well. There wasn't a huge trace of outer draft, despite how it was still freezing. It had been clearly designed for tourist usage years ago when the area was still safe to use as a skiing resort, before being swapped over to ecological studies within the area by scientists who'd use these cabins. It would do for the night.
The furniture definitely felt very dated as well. Everything about this felt like things his mums would probably recognize from childhood years. Phoenix remembered his adoptive mum talking about that, how she used to travel all the time with his nan and his grandpa around the world, and how when she met his biological mum she'd take her traveling too while they dated.
He wondered what they were up to now, where they were this time. His biological mum had expressed interest in wanting to go back to their hometown and show his adoptive mum around. He remembered telling them he'd be unable to make the trip to Africa due to work picking up. He couldn't tell them what his work was; they probably already knew by now.
He hadn't talked to them since the incident in Venice was broadcast on the news with his face and Jett's face, to be honest. He was afraid of hearing what they'd say to him if he got on a call - let alone through voice - with them.
Would they even consider him their son anymore?
Jett's voice broke him out of his thoughts, and out of staring mindlessly at a loose hem in the living room sofa with faded, patterned fabric.
"God, I'm gonna need to buy a winter coat if they keep doing this shit. Why did they pick Alaska of all places?! During the snowstorms too!"
He turned to look back at his partner, rubbing her arms again. She scowled and filled her cheeks before puffing air through her pursed lips: with every soft huff he'd see a small cloud of her breath in front of her face.
Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle as he walked back to the coat hanger at the front.
"Yo, right?! Like, could Omega pick somewhere decent to steal Radianite from?" Phoenix's LED lapels began to dim down, and he began wiping his shoulders of melted snowdrops with his scarf. "Like, dunno, Southeast Asia? Or the Caribbean, even? Heard the fucking Sahara's warm this time of the year, innit?"
Phoenix let his scarf hang from the front coat hanger and walked back to the sofa. There was a flat-screen television above the fireplace, probably using electricity or battery rather than Radianite with how remote they were.
Everything about this place really reminded Phoenix of old, retro movies from seventy years ago, like that Kubrick horror film that also took place in the snow - although, that movie had been a relic of its own, and movies from those eras had those televisions that were clunky boxes with antennae and static, rather than the flat-screens from his mums' generation of childhood.
He watched Jett's backpack slide off onto the floor, before she essentially collapsed onto the couch with an audible wince. Her hair was threatening to come undone from her ponytail, strands framing her face and sticking on as she huffed out visible clouds.
It was very cute. Jett was very cute. Jett was also recently healed, which meant some injuries might be taking time to heal from Skye. He frowned when she gripped the side of her waist - rifle wound. It had gone clean through. It would have been fatal - had it not been for Skye's quick reactions and trigger finger, and Sova's eyes in the sky while she had healed Jett.
"You good, Jett?" Phoenix asked. He pulled out his phone from his pocket. "Like, I can call them up and - "
"No, Phoenix, it's cool!" Jett waved her other hand dismissively. She forced a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and Phoenix couldn't help but frown deeper.
Phoenix himself had taken a few shots, but nothing that had punctured anything vital, according to Skye after she had tried to patch him up beyond his fire. Still, he felt some residual soreness in his arm and thigh - nothing compared to Jett, though.
She had gone forward in the snowstorm as aggressively as she could to get the job done, and he'd let her do it, even despite Brimstone telling Jett to pull back. It was only when he heard the shot of the sniper and Jett's scream in his comms that he had literally blazed through to find her and finish the diffuse.
There was no shot he was going to let her die, and there would be hell to pay if she had suffered any longer than she had needed to. No, if it was him and her together, there was no chance he was going to let invaders from another planet fuck them over or kill them. Not when the world needed them both.
Not when he needed her.
Jett's smile faded before she scoffed, rolling her eyes. The hand that had waved earlier pointed behind him.
"I'm fine, man. Look; that fireplace isn't gonna light itself up, y'know."
Phoenix simply rolled his eyes back at her again, before snapping his fingers.
A ball of flame flickered into existence within the palm of his hand. It shrank down and spluttered a bit, and Phoenix's eyes that had been pulsing with the glow of fire stuttered back and forth between yellow and orange to their original brown. He clenched his jaw; it had been a long day and it was late. He walked over to the fireplace, opening the metal grates with his free hand as he crouched down. The fireplace hadn't been used for a while.
"Oh, yeah." Jett hummed behind him. "Guess you're missing out on that fancy shmancy restaurant you booked dinner for tonight."
Shit. That's right. Phoenix just exhaled, his tone dismal and defeated as he moved some of the ash and coal around with his bare hand.
"Yeah. Reserved the booking so that I'd be there, like, what? Four hours ago." He threw in some logs from the wood pile. "Pretty sure they've been trying to call me about it but, you know, can't get signal if the VLT/R needs repairs! Gonna check if they've got signal here once I…"
He stuck his other hand inside and let the ball of flame essentially roll off his hand.
It bounced into the logs before igniting in a bright flare, illuminating the room even more. He heard Jett make a surprised gasp, before hearing her wince again, and he immediately turned to see her looking down at her side and clutching it. His eyebrows furrowed.
"Jett, you sure you don't want me to call up Skye?"
Again, she shook her head.
"No, my guy - look, Skye is probably already asleep in her cabin, Sova's on lookout duty, and Brim's waiting on a rendezvous for KJ and Sage. Which should be within, like, 6-12 hours."
He wasn't convinced. She eventually sighed.
"Okay, fine." Jett grabbed the backpack she had slid off and dug through it. "Help me put these on for me, will you?"
She tossed him an object he almost nearly didn't catch because it had barreled straight at his face. When he looked at what he had caught, he saw a roll of bandage.
Phoenix stood up to sit next to her on the couch, helping her take off her jacket before she had rolled up her shirt to expose her torso. Her stomach was well-toned even through the dressing on her side - which was not as much as Phoenix had expected Skye to put on as he saw the subtle green glow pulsing slowly from the red bandages.
He looked up at her from her waist, eyes wide and face twisted in concern.
"Jett, what - "
"Look, she was super tired even if she was pretending she wasn't, Phoenix!" She matched his gaze, and Jett's brows creased. "I didn't wanna make Skye overdo it with her powers. She hard carried us, dude. After she got the hole regenerated, I wanted to finish everything else myself."
He was already unrolling the bandages, staring back at her waist. She turned away to reach into her bag. "I can help you do yours too - "
"Don't need it." Phoenix let the bandage dangle from his arm briefly while he rubbed his hands together. They glowed ever so softly, and Jett looked down at them as she pulled out some tape. "Self-healing fire, remember? I made sure all Skye did to me was a kiss from Mother Nature at best for the healing process." He sighed. "I saw her too; I know. Don't blame you. Now, come on; let's get you patched up."
He placed her palms gently on the wounded area of her waist. Jett's breath hitched briefly - before exhaling deeply through her mouth, letting the warmth comfort her. Phoenix let his hands stay on her, being careful to maintain the temperature emitting through his palms right to his fingers. No, nobody else could use his fire, and it wouldn't heal anyone else but him - but after two years of learning how to control his powers, the least Phoenix could do was know how to use it in ways that didn't bring them fear.
He looked up at her and caught Jett's gaze; she broke it almost shyly, looking to the side as she fiddled with the tape.
A part of him wanted to believe the pinkness from her cheeks wasn't just from the sudden warmth in the room from the fire. He smiled at her coyly, before he looked back down at her waist and began wrapping the bandages around her carefully.
The crackling and pops of the fire alongside the sounds of the wind whistling outside was almost comforting; it made him feel less cold, it felt pleasant, just to be here with her in this moment, outside of the chaos of the battlefield outside, with harsher gale forces not even being able to muffle out the sharp, loud gunshots and explosions.
The noise that came from his gut and rumbled in the room was not comforting nor pleasant.
He didn't even look up to know Jett was smirking at him, keeping her eyes deliberately focused on bandaging her waist.
"I can hear your stomach growling."
"Nah, that's wind."
"Shut up! I know what wind sounds like, Pretty Boy. Someone sounds hungry. And angry!"
He finished taping her bandages, and the soft glow from his hands subsided. Phoenix dropped the bandages on the couch and leaned back all the way with a loud groan.
"For real, though. Seriously, why we always on the missions in these places that do not get on with me?! First snowy Siberia, then underwater Portugal, and now we back in the snow instead of the VP headquarters - or in man's case, a nice Michelin star restaurant in New Zealand." He stared at the fireplace. "Man's gonna need to sacrifice a goat at this rate to eat a proper meal out here. You reckon they got, like, alpine goats near this ski cabin? Because I'll do it, you feel me?"
Jett leaned back into the couch too with the same energy, rolling her top down over her waist.
"I'm not cooking you a goat, Pretty Boy," she said, and Phoenix turned his head lazily to stare at her.
"Who said anything about cooking the goat?" He pulled out his phone again from his pocket and checked the signals. Of course there wasn't anything and of course it still ran on old-school cables or towers. He should've known. "Fam, I just wanna sacrifice the goat or something for, like, some ritual so we'd be blessed with decent food in this place - God, I dunno if I can handle it if it's all canned. We've moved past that! Do not feeling like cubes of mystery meat tonight!"
Jett rolled her eyes.
"Phoenix, you gotta get over talking about 'mystery meat' like it's a bad thing! It's still protein, just with some preservatives! Brits eat sausages; that's basically hot dogs, also mystery meat. You need to get over it!"
"Do I? I really don't think I do, Jett! Mystery meat in a can, like - dunno, Spam? Nah. I can't do it, I shouldn't do it, and in my opinion, nobody else should do it. But, look, if you wanna cook goat stew tonight - "
His stomach interrupted him just then, even more loudly than the first time. Phoenix flushed, and Jett just laughed, airy and playful.
"Phoenix, go to the kitchen and find me a pot." She leaned to the side carefully and reached back into her bag, dropping the bandages and tape in while rustling her hands around. "Help me boil some water. God, I hope they have running water and it's not frozen over, imagine if we had to boil snow."
Phoenix sat up curiously.
"So, erm, goat stew tonight is what I'm hearing? Now that I can do! It's not a Michelin star meal but - "
"No, dumbass, I have a gunshot wound healing on my side and it's almost 1 AM! I don't have the energy to cook meat, ugh!"
"Damn. Right when I was getting gassed up to go back outside and ask Sova or Skye to go hunt for a goat. Then what we doing: tea? I can go for a cuppa - "
"Phoenix. I'm gonna make ramyeon."
He heard the sound of plastic packaging crinkling from inside the backpack. He paused and blinked.
"Sorry, what? Ram…yeon? Do you mean, like…ramen?"
"Nope: ramyeon!"
Four brightly-coloured red packages of instant noodles were dropped in the middle of them, right on the couch.
Phoenix couldn't hide the disappointment in his expression as he looked up at her face, which seemed far too smug for his liking.
"Jett, don't take this the wrong way, normally I'd be down…but, I'm not sure if instant noodles will cut it here compared to the fancy restaurant food," he confessed. Phoenix sighed. "Was gonna treat myself after all these back-to-back missions; God, that reservation fee alone…"
One of the packages levitated in front of him with a breeze that felt rough. He watched her lean forward to catch the instant ramen package, exhaling a bit too harshly for his liking.
God, Omega really had exhausted them out here in Alaska by picking a bad time to invade. He wondered if that was part of their strategy, despite how he saw them also struggling. Such a shame that they whooped their asses and it didn't pay off for Omega, save for helping compromise their transportation and signal system.
Still, he saw her look back up at him with a sly confidence that Phoenix recognized well; a smile on her lips, so self-assured that it could not be wiped away from her face so easily.
"Stop being a whiny baby and trust me on this, Pretty Boy," Jett retorted. "It's not like I'm convincing you to try something with Spam, alright? I can't serve you Michelin star food right now - because, let's be real, I could serve you Michelin star goat stew sacrificed in the name of God if I wanted to with my eyes closed - but right now, I can serve you ramyeon, so take it or leave it."
Jett readjusted her posture to sit up straight, holding the instant ramen package next to her head, and winked at him.
"Think about it like this: me sharing ramyeon with you is gonna be a way better experience than some overpriced restaurant!"
How could he say no to an offer like that? A bold challenge in the realms edging towards what Phoenix was convinced was an impossible success?
Well, not entirely impossible - he was starving anyway; the hunger was more powerful than the fatigue right now. It actually hurt his stomach. He didn't recall being shot close to there unlike Jett, so he knew it wasn't an injury.
"Alright, alright; I'll hold you to that." Phoenix yawned before standing up and heading to where he saw a table and a sink in another room. "You're gassing this ramen up like it's everything. Or is it the company I'm with that makes it taste good?"
"Ramyeon. Shut up and find me that pot, Pretty Boy. We can cook it over the fire if you wanna stay warm?"
"Mate, it's fine; come into the kitchen with me, we'll sit at a table and eat properly with cutlery, yeah? Gotta get some semblance of fine dining tonight."
She just laughed again from the couch as he flicked on the light switch in the new room. He saw a fridge, a pantry, some cupboards, a dishwasher, and what looked like a four-element stove, next to the counter near the sink. It looked like it ran on gas. This place must have existed for ages with constant renovations and updates before it stopped being used as much.
The fridge wasn't even that comforting at this point. Phoenix didn't trust the fridge to have anything that could be heated up decently versus - apparently, Korean instant ramen - let alone expired goods depending on how often this cabin was used by the scientists as a station. The instant ramen seemed appealing enough, tried and tested if not mundane; even if it wasn't Michelin star food, it was edible, unexpired sustenance.
He opened the cupboards next to it to see a large, flimsy-looking pot that would be the perfect size to put on the stove, as well as what basically looked like a large, wok-like metal pan that looked durable against a bigger, more direct flame. Jett shouted at him from the living room.
"Aww, you're actually so lame when you're mopey! Like, Chamber levels of lame. Oooh, you gonna bust out the fancy doilies and tablecloth too?"
Thank God, the cabin had running water. It took a bit for it to come out of the faucet and Phoenix was concerned when he heard the noise it had made when he turned the faucet on, but the water came out eventually, and he held the pan up underneath it.
"Yo, I reckon that man's eating serious every night! Would not mind going out with him for one night at some restaurant in Paris worth more than my student loans." Phoenix dumped the initial bursts of water, and once the water came out in a stream, he held the pan underneath to start properly filling it. Regardless of if the water supply in this area was still clean or not, they were going to boil this water anyway - not by the gas oven's rules, but by his rules.
He needed something to place it on. If need be, he could probably hold it, but he'd rather not in case he spilled boiling water by accident over himself or on Jett. Luckily, there seemed to be what looked like a metal serving rack. Phoenix unfolded it and placed it on the modest wooden table. It had been heavy enough, it looked sturdy enough, and surely it wouldn't melt if he just moderated his fire a bit.
"Like, classical music and wine tasting? Not for me if I'm honest." He placed the deep pan on top of the rack. "Don't need that kind of posh in my life. The opera? Honestly, I'll do plays and musicals but I'm more of a movie person." Phoenix bent over and looked under the cast iron, placing his fist underneath it. "But, like, a nice restaurant, on his tab? Get me on that motive; I trust in French food, and that's all I trust in for the French."
He opened his fist and a flame shot out again, blazing brightly. It died down quickly into a weaker fire, and he couldn't help but grunt. Shit, maybe the gas stove was the better idea. He forgot how drained he felt.
"Seriously? Yo, you're such a dumbass sometimes, Phoenix."
He heard Jett walking into the kitchen before placing the packets of ramen down on the table. A breeze from out of nowhere swirled around his flames underneath the pan, and Phoenix sighed as he pulled back on the energy he was exerting, letting the flame calm into an ember. He knew the fire within his blood and power would never hurt him, but the wind was still gentle and careful to not stoke it, lingering with a bit of humidity.
He liked the way it felt against his skin. When Phoenix realized he had learned how to distinguish which wind belonged to nature or machines, and which wind was Jett's wind, it had filled his heart with something he wasn't sure he could describe in words.
He wondered if she felt the same about his fire, even if she never could feel its full warmth directly.
"This is faster," Phoenix insisted proudly, and Jett just shook her head back incredulously.
"What?! No, it's actually not!"
"We're in America, fam! Don't trust American gadgets to boil water that fast, you got it?"
"Phoenix! My guy! The stove is gas!"
"Yeah - but it's still American gas, innit? Nah, I don't trust like that." He huffed playfully. "We got British gas, fam. Gonna get this water thing boiling before you can blink."
Her laughter filled him with energy as he felt the wind encircling the fire around his hand.
"Phoenix, just because you can turn up the heat doesn't mean it helps conduction! Fire Guy doesn't know about conduction, bro?!"
"Nah, don't even know if the stove's got gas. Let's stick with this." He breathed through his nostrils and moved the chair in front of him to sit on it. "We firm it. If we work together like this, we'll have our instant noodles in no time, fam."
Jett mirrored him and took the chair on the other side of the table, moving it next to him and sitting down by his side. She took off her gloves and pocketed them, before resting her arms against the table and placing her head on top of them to stare at the flame she was helping control with her wind.
Her arms swirled with a blue energy underneath her sleeves. Phoenix made sure to breathe carefully, lest the flames flicker out in a moment of distraction and lap out at something or someone it wasn't supposed to.
To be honest, he was jealous of how quickly Jett had learned how to become hands-off with her powers since two years ago, when they had first met each other properly. He knew there was a reason she had made sure to control her powers as carefully as she could.
And to be fair, those were the same reasons he had, as much as they did sick tricks every now and then to flex what they could do with their Radiant powers that they promised each other they would never lose control over again.
But it was way too easy for both of them to lose control, even if something like Peckham or Seoul was unlikely to happen again. Reyna and Sage had warned them about it constantly despite how much they both didn't want to hear it from them. Everybody warned them about it - fuck, including Yoru and Neon, and both of their powers were something teetering on a power level Phoenix was certain Brimstone was hiding from them.
It was Astra pulling him aside after a mission once where he had literally burned through the opposition and lit their base on fire to get them to leave their Earth immediately. He had never heard her that serious before, saying should the past return to haunt him, that he needed to be careful.
It was Astra having that talk with him that had made Phoenix take it more seriously.
It was telling Jett about that talk Phoenix had with Astra that also made her realize she had to be more careful too.
Eventually, the water simmered with tiny little bursts of air, before it began to bubble and boil. The fire and wind subsided underneath it, and Phoenix and Jett exhaled deeply, slumping into their chairs, the new sound welcome over the gales of wind outside.
"I'm getting a gas stove, Phoenix," Jett breathed.
Phoenix groaned, and his stomach groaned in tandem with him again, prompting Jett to giggle once more. He licked his dry lips.
"Nah, after all that work we did? Jett, you can't just undo that beautiful display of teamwork; we did that together!"
Jett ignored him with a roll of her eyes again, standing up and briskly walked behind them back to where the cupboards were.
"No, we're using the gas stove. Or a gas stove if they have a portable one. Then you don't have to move and you can sit there and whinge. The water needs to be at a rolling boil."
Phoenix couldn't help but shake his head at this.
"Whinge? Bruv, you can just say 'whine', yeah? I can understand English across the pond."
He heard the squeak of the cupboard hinges.
"Well, I did wanna say 'bitch and moan' but I figured I'd translate it in a way that wouldn't offend you, Pretty Boy."
He huffed softly.
This was nice. He could get used to more moments like this; just the two of them together, not fighting or struggling to survive, not having to watch each other's backs, not being in the VP Headquarters and having to watch how close they got together, even if they were hanging out with only each other.
Moments like today when he was screaming for Jett to stay with him after diffusing Omega's Spike and yelling down the comms line for Skye to get to Site A as fast as she could made him realize how much Phoenix treasured these moments with Jett together.
"Can you take those packets and empty them into the bubbling water first?" he heard Jett ask. "Just two and, like, a half should be okay; don't add all three or all four in case it's too salty for you."
Phoenix reached for one of the bright red ramen packages and looked at it briefly.
There were some cute animal mascots on them alongside the Korean lettering. Specifically, it was a blushing cow with a chef hat. Photos of cooked noodles, curly and plentiful, with various toppings he knew they did not have that would probably make the noodles taste better, also were decorated onto the packaging.
Phoenix tore open the first one and stared down at the three small plastic pouches that slid out onto the table. That was the first time he's seen three small pouches; at most, he's seen two before from mi goreng instant noodles (which were fucking delicious, although a bit too salty for him when Neon had asked him to try them saying Southeast Asian noodles were built different), but never three.
It's been a while since he's had instant noodles, if he was honest. And that had been when he was at a nice arts school in Peckham, studying how to act and maybe make his own break as a hotshot movie star; a fine representation of Black-British excellence in worldwide cinema. He was convinced he was going to need to throw hands with judgmental, narrow-minded posh kids born with silver spoons in their mouths when he had enrolled in a high-end, higher education.
Memories of exhaustively throwing open the dorm room door with his roommates after lectures and lessons after a convenience store trip filled his mind. He remembered going over Shakespeare lines with his roommates over PotNoodle biofoam cups and bags of Walker's crisps. He remembered it all going into the trash or recycling right away without worrying about who was on dish duty that night, before they were shouting obscenities at each other while playing football on the SwitchStation 5.
He remembered being surprised how they'd rather go for snacks and junk food over fancy meals, or how they'd rather hit the local around the corner rather than go to some overpriced lounge for celebration, even if they had the money or connections to go big or go home. He remembered how welcoming and friendly they each had been when he first enrolled.
He remembered how sad they all were when they told him he'd be dropping out early.
To be honest, Phoenix was really sad too. He thought the acting school was everything he wanted. It had cost so much to enroll into the institution, let alone land a spot after years of grants and scholarships and he and his mums working hard while he had been in secondary school. He remembered the face of anger and disappointment on his mums' faces when he told them that he hadn't been going to school anymore.
He remembered the pity and understanding on their faces immediately after when he had told them about how physically similar the acting department's building on-campus looked to the orphanage.
"These?" Phoenix reached for one of the packets and shook it; it seemed like the right one. It sounded like it had powder inside. His voice held a mocking tone to it. "The little satchels of MSG, then?"
"Uh, yeah! MSG is the good shit, Phoenix, don't be a hater! Add the dried veggie flakes next but not the noodles or the oil; save that for later. Also: here!"
Something was placed next to him on his other side, and he watched Jett slide a portable gas stove underneath the rack.
"Found this in the cupboards that you clearly didn't look into," she beamed. Before he could respond with something snarky, she practically scurried back behind him. "I'm raiding their supplies right now, like a proper thief in the night…"
Phoenix took the pan off the metal rack, folding it again and placing the pan directly onto the element of the portable stove. He turned the knobs on the stove, and ripped open the first seasoning packet, pouring it in.
The powder dissolved into the water, and the liquid began its transformation to a reddish-brown broth, continuing to bubble. He ripped open the second and third seasoning packets to add them in, being careful about only adding the third half-way. The broth became more colourful; it became more aromatic. It smelled good.
He listened to Jett muttering behind him excitedly in a mix of English and Korean, cupboard hinges squeaking and the pantry door being opened, and something about it felt good too. Jett loved cooking. Jett loved food in general. It was incredible how much even talking about food gave her energy, just glowing with happiness when food was involved. He loved that energy on her.
"You do know we're allowed to stay here since we have a partnership with the people who monitor shit in this area," Phoenix explained. He heard the fridge open as he began opening the dried veggies next. "Brim did tell us we can go through their supplies; just don't take too much and only what we need to - "
"Oh, fuck yeah! This hasn't hit its expiration date. This is perfect; so glad I found this."
He heard the fridge close, and Jett was back at the table with a bright grin on her face. She placed down a few things on the table: a fork and spoon each for him and her, and two small, very American-retro branded cans of what looked like tiny sausages - and one too many flat squares of what he knew was American processed cheese product, wrapped in individual plastics and looking wrinkled and floppy.
Phoenix's face fell, and his posture slouched. He faced her disbelievingly, jaw completely slack with his hand holding a half-empty dried veggie packet above the bubbling broth. The grin on Jett's face disappeared, and she scoffed back with another eyeroll.
"Yo, look: I know that face. I see it all the time when I make ramyeon around friends who are not Asian or Korean, especially when the cheese comes out." She held up one of the orange slices. "But stay with me on this, Pretty Boy!"
Phoenix's eyes stared at the slice she held next to her face.
"I can trust you on instant Korean ramen, sure. Maybe it's better than PotNoodle by miles - which, honestly, that bar is on the floor." He looked back at her uneasily. "But not gonna lie, Jett - I feel we as a human species, and as people with money now, have moved past the need for American cheese and canned sausage. Know what I mean?"
Jett simply stared back at Phoenix, completely unimpressed and incredibly bemused.
Then, she reached for his hand with her own - the one holding the package of cheese - and wrapped her free fingers around his. She turned his hand so he'd finish pouring the rest of the veggie packet in.
"Have we not?!" Phoenix continued, and Jett shook her head.
"Nope! Not Koreans."
Then, she lowered her head so that she was face-to-face with him, and she looked smug again. He felt her give his hand a squeeze.
"Besides, what's your guys' deal with canned beans on toast?" Jett murmured.
Phoenix - who should have stood his ground and said jollof rice with peas is way better than beans on toast, except he admittedly likes beans on toast - has his lips pressed together tightly in an embarrassed smile as he felt his face go warm too.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, Englishman."
She released his hand, and he sat back to watch as Jett set down the cheese on the table, reaching for two round cakes of dehydrated ramen noodles. She placed them into the bubbling pot. When she prodded at the noodles a few times with her fork until it was soft, she hummed before adding another dried round thing of ramen in.
"Find the can opener and open two of the hot dogs, please, Pretty Boy?"
God. What was she making him?
He wasn't entirely sure it would be bad, to be honest. As a matter of fact, the aroma of the broth with the noodles smelled better than good at this point; it smelled straight-up amazing. But he knew it was probably due to hunger. Hell, he would be fine with what was there already - but why the sausages? Why the cheese? It's not even real cheese!
Still, she was the one serving him, and he shouldn't be rude. He found the can opener in the same place she found the cutlery and had no issue opening them. The sausages didn't really have an unpleasant smell, but he wasn't really sure he was vibing at the moment with it either.
"Can I drain the sausa - "
"Nope! I'll drain it myself, but let's use a little wee bit of that brine and see how it works out."
Very hesitantly, he came back and handed her the two opened cans. What looked like roughly a teaspoon of the sausage brine went in before she did end up asking him in the end to drain both. Then, she added the sausages to the noodles.
Phoenix placed an empty bowl next to her that he had gotten from the cupboard alongside some kitchen roll, just as Jett turned the heat lower to the stove and tore open the packaging of the fake American cheese squares.
She let it flop down on top of the hot, bubbling noodles. She did this with one more.
He took off his jacket and placed it behind his chair. He sat down with his own bowl, both bewildered and unsure as to how to feel as he stared at the bubbling broth with bright orange cheese squares topping the noodles.
He felt fascination. He felt unease. He wished he had asked Jett to come with him to the dinner reservations he made in New Zealand and they had made it there instead of being here in Alaska.
To be honest, Phoenix wasn't too surprised at how quickly it melted over it, because that's just what American fake cheese did. Sometimes, yes, American cheese had its place, especially on American food - in which other real, solid cheeses always proved to be superior. But the way it looked melted over the noodles as a sort of topping was kind of…not as gross-looking as he thought, actually very photogenic food porn-esque, and that's what actually surprised him.
Maybe that was just because he was ready to eat even his shoes. Phoenix was certain he'd bite into a live mountain goat and consume it raw at this point, to be fair.
Or maybe he was just biased because it was Jett. Phoenix also knew that Jett had served him things he didn't quite recognize or understand and he's always given it a fair shot, now that he thought about it.
Out of anyone on their planet (their planet, that is), if Sunwoo Han gave him a live mountain goat and asked him to eat it raw, he would at least give the effort because it was Jett, even if it turned out the goat would kick him in the face and leave him for dead in the cold, Alaskan snow.
(Jett would definitely slaughter the goat back out of revenge for him, though, and serve it to the rest of the team. That was the kind of person she was.)
He watched her finish pouring in the other satchels of what he remembered was oil (sesame? It smelled really good when it was added), and Jett stirred the noodles, the broth, the sausages, and the cheese all together with her fork. He watched as the bright orange-yellow dairy completely disappeared into the reddish-brown broth, spots of oil appearing on the surface. He could swear other than the colour and consistency change of the soup that he saw the broth almost become thicker.
Jett added the remaining two cheese slices on top. He hoped to God she wouldn't add the other three on the table.
Taking the empty bowl Phoenix had given her, Jett twirled her fork into the broth and lifted up a generous serving of noodles.
He watched the cheese pull with the noodles and couldn't help but whistle at the way the cheese looked all melty and deceivingly appetizing-looking, before she placed it in the bowl. Grabbing her spoon next, she placed some of the cooked sausages and warm, thickened broth into the bowl.
Phoenix stood up to follow suit with his own bowl - but not before Jett held out the one she had just filled.
"Here, Pretty Boy; eat these while they're hot and not soggy."
He grabbed it from the side with his free hand. In turn, she slid the bowl off her palm and reached for the empty dish right in Phoenix's other hand. Her fingers brushed over his.
She did the same routine as before, filling the empty bowl with noodles first, covered in melted cheese and rehydrated small veggie flakes, then filling it with broth and sausages.
"Thanks," Phoenix murmured, managing to find his words, and Jett just chuckled.
"Bruh, you look like you're gonna eat a whole cow at this point; hurry up and eat!" She sat down. "I'm fine, I'm not gonna get mad if you don't wait for me first like when we had Korean BBQ. But, if you're that weirded out about some noodles and canned food - then watch this."
Jett grabbed her fork and immediately bent down to lift the noodles into her mouth. She slurped the ramen enthusiastically, and Phoenix remembered she also hadn't eaten before they had left on the VLT/R to fly to Alaska. She closed her eyes and made a genuine noise of satisfaction, before it became overly exaggerated humming and mmm'ing as she continued to slurp noodles out of the bowl.
That was all Phoenix needed to watch.
He followed suit, grabbing his own fork and digging into the ramen. He forcibly ignored how much cheese was on his first mouthful; he was initially going to sip the broth carefully to taste it but he couldn't be fucked anymore, not after Jett had made it look so good, not after Jett had spent time cooking him food while injured, rather than him going to sleep hungry.
He couldn't take it anymore. Even if it wasn't to his taste, she was making this look like the best meal he'd seen in his life. He shoved the noodles into his mouth.
Fuck. What the fuck.
It was absolutely delicious.
It was steaming hot. He didn't care. He kept going with no pause, wincing a bit initially as he consumed the noodles. He almost forgot he had broth; rich, savoury, and salty broth, full of MSG and artificial cheese, with a small bit of sausage brine he wasn't even sure he tasted or was supposed to taste. Even if he didn't try the soup yet, it clung enough to the bouncy, chewy noodles of the Korean ramen.
Additionally, the flavour clinging to the noodles as well was this creamy texture and mild but fascinating taste from the melted, fake American cheese - and on God, Phoenix savoured, savoured how that cheese tasted.
He kept eating until the noodles that had been in his bowl were gone within minutes. He didn't even touch the sausages or the broth. Phoenix went back into the pan of Korean ramen, twirling his fork into the noodles and placing a heap into his bowl, more than before - not even realizing he should've considered getting a new serving fork, not even caring if Jett cared about germs.
This time, Phoenix stabbed his fork into the sausages and twirled everything like pasta; he ate that without hesitation, and the sausages weren't the best but they matched the flavours and were soft, falling apart with little effort without needing to chew on them too hard, complimenting the taste of the broth and the cheese.
He heard Jett giggle through her own mouthful of noodles.
He switched his fork for his spoon to taste the broth, but Phoenix saw Jett lift the bowl up to her lips and tilt it into her mouth, sipping on the soup that way.
Momentarily, confusion settled into his features; he's done this before with a bowl of rice at a Korean BBQ restaurant Jett's taken him to in New Zealand. Jett had called him out on it and smacked his hands with her metal chopsticks; said it was bad table manners in Korean culture. (She had smacked him a second time when he tried to eat first, saying that was also bad table manners in Korean culture since she was serving him.)
That was a good night too, actually. He remembered soju shots in cold beer, crossing each other's arms to do extra soju shots which she joked was called a "love shot" (which Jett with a red face explaining it was just a meme from an old movie and she did it all the time with friends when he teased her about it), and her feeding him lettuce wraps filled with freshly grilled meat, rice, and various vegetables pickled and fresh - before he had made his own ssam wrap and fed it back to her too.
Fuck it. If Jett was doing it, he was doing it too.
Phoenix set down the spoon he had just grabbed and picked up his bowl instead, drinking the soup from the edge of the bowl too.
God. The broth was so warm and comforting. There was a spiciness, a subtle heat to it as well, that he noticed only now that he was able to consume the soup directly.
This didn't remind him of PotNoodle and Walker's crisps at theatre school at all. It reminded him of Korean ramen with Jett.
It was a new memory with Jett. A new memory with Sunwoo Han, the woman who made them this stupidly good Korean instant ramen, with canned tiny sausage and packaged American cheese, at 1 AM in the morning, stuck in a log cabin during an Alaskan blizzard that, if not for the sounds of the wind brushing against the cabin, Phoenix would have forgotten had been going on.
They ate together, and it was nice. The broth was nice, the noodles were nice - fuck, even the cheese and canned sausage was nice. Jett was nice. Everything was nice. Everything was good. Jett was good. Cheese on instant Korean ramen was good.
"Right," Phoenix murmured, finally finishing his second round of noodles and the broth. He leaned back in his chair while staring at the steaming pot in the center of the table. He pointed his fork at it. "It's good."
Jett paused midway through shoveling more noodles into her mouth.
"Yeah?" She grinned. "Better than whatever pot noodles are?"
"Oh, fucking…" He finally placed his bowl back down on the table. "Fam, I told you, PotNoodle was always the bar on the floor. This is - and was, let's be honest - gonna be way better than PotNoodle, one hundred!" He pointed at the empty Korean ramen packages with his fork. "Like, this, yeah? One of the best instant noodles I've ever eaten, no lie."
At this, Jett set the fork back down in the bowl, which she also placed back on the table almost abruptly, as if remembering her own manners. Phoenix couldn't help but blink; something was off. She looked almost…shy. Sheepish? Why?
"You just being nice to me or…?"
"No?" Phoenix responded. He shook his head. "No! Like, come on, Jett, where's that confidence from earlier?! Fam, you were right! I'm literally eating my words now, you feel me? Like I went back myself to get seconds, and I'm gonna go for thirds at this point! Hold on."
He dug his fork back into the pan, picking up some noodles, and shoved them into his mouth directly. When Phoenix looked back up, Jett was still staring at him, and he swallowed down his food.
"Nah, like…what is happening with this cheese?!" He pointed his fork back at the unopened cheese packets. "Like, honestly, you know what? I was hoping you wouldn't add more than like…alright, I was hoping you wouldn't add any of them things. This ain't even real cheese, but it's…it's good?! It matches the salty and savouriness of the flavours? Seriously, how does Korean instant ramen go that hard?!"
At this, Jett's uneasiness from earlier shifted back to a wide, brilliant, and beautiful grin.
"See? Korean ramyeon may be instant, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing." She leaned forward. "Let's finish this off. Here; take more of the noodles." She began cooing. "Do you want another slice of fake cheese, Pretty Boy?"
He took her bowl from her spot at the table with her cutlery inside it.
"Honestly, bro, it's perfect as is," Phoenix replied, placing noodles and broth one after the other into the bowl using her utensils. "Don't think it needs anything more, and I'm not just saying that because American cheese is suspect, don't get it twisted, fam. I'm saying that because you made it perfect."
He held out the bowl back to a rather stunned-looking Jett, and Phoenix's smile was warm and genuine.
"This enough for you, Jett?"
She beamed again, and it truly was a beautiful smile.
They ate a bit slower on their last portion, taking their time with fuller stomachs and less hunger and cold in their bones and blood. This time, Phoenix noted the aftertaste of artificial flavouring lingering on his tongue. It wasn't the worst, but he definitely needed some water after this. Still, it didn't detract from how tasty it was. It made him want to try mi goreng again, or that other instant noodle Neon tried to get him to try. (Pancit, he's sure it was called. Cantonese pancit or something, despite the noodles being Filipino and not Chinese.)
"Want drinks? They got water, right?"
Jett gulped down her mouthful of food before responding.
"Yeah. There's some unopened bottles in the fridge, actually."
Phoenix stood up to open it; sure enough, there was a half-used plastic package of water bottles. The fridge was actually fairly scarce compared to what he was expecting; it was mostly drinks and sauces, no real produce or food unless it was the packaged cheese in the drawer, butter, or other things that seemed to have a long shelf life.
"Cold, warm, or hot water?" he asked.
Jett spoke nonsense through what he assumed was a mouthful of sausage and noodles. Phoenix couldn't hold back a snicker.
"Yo, mate," Phoenix chided, and he heard Jett gulp her food down again.
"Warm, please!"
He grabbed two glazed mugs from the cupboard and sat back down with two bottles of water. After pouring the first bottle distributed evenly between the two mugs, he placed his warming hands around them while watching Jett chew.
"Man, I'd love to have some pa with this. Or kimchi - like, you like kimchi! But kimchi-infused ramyeon broth? Oh my God, it's so good, Phoenix. Yo, and a fried or poached egg! God, that's like, so, so fucking good on ramyeon! I used to eat it, like, when I couldn't be assed to cook all the time in Korea after my shifts at the restaurant."
She sighed wistfully, and Phoenix was tempted for a moment to brush the loose strand of her covering the front of her face at that moment. He resisted the temptation.
"I didn't see eggs," he said instead, and Jett shook her head.
"Yeah, nah, there weren't any I saw in the fridge or pantry." She slurped a few noodles and took a sip of broth with her spoon. "Let alone any fresh herbs or veg in a small indoor garden somewhere, but maybe I didn't look hard enough, so - no pa!"
The mugs seemed warm enough now. Phoenix slid a mug towards her.
"Jett, what's 'pa'?"
She paused mid-chew. Jett began mumbling, and Phoenix laughed again.
"Mate!"
She swallowed with a sheepish smile.
"Sorry!"
"Mate, come on now! After lecturing me on Korean table manners?"
"Ugh, I know, I know! God, British people and table manners - bro, do as I say, not as I do!"
They both laughed together this time. Phoenix brought his own mug to his lips and sipped. Water was just the right temperature for him, especially after this particular meal. Not too warm that it was gross, not too cold that it was a stark contrast against the warmth of soup. Honestly, he would love some hot tea to finish off the meal.
"So - 'pa'?"
Jett rested her fork against her lips as she hummed. Phoenix wondered if she'd appreciate him making her a fancy cup of tea too; it was the one posh thing that his posh dorm roommates had made sure he knew how to do.
"Pa is, like…chives? No, wait. It's not chives." She snapped her fingers with her free hand. "Oh, scallions! Green onions."
What about peppered meat? Peppered fish? That was a good Nigerian dish; maybe she'd like that. He still remembered how to make that from his biological mum. No way she'd be able to flame Nigerian peppered fish. Maybe he'd bait her out with fish and chips but it'd turn out to be peppered fish and some kind of fritter and God he missed his mum's cooking.
"Oh. Oh, bruv, that sounds banging."
"Right?! But, things like pa or eggs are fresh ingredients. Ramyeon is a survival food, and Korean food has roots in surviving. Like budaejjigae!"
Phoenix suddenly paused.
He's heard that kind of food before. Jett had tried to convince him to get it at the Korean BBQ restaurant that one time until after he saw the ingredient list. He remembered her looking really annoyed when he had put his foot down on it, even after she insisted over and over that it was really good and he was missing out.
"Army stew!" Phoenix blurted out, his eyes widening. "Yo, that was the one with the instant ramen too, and…and the Spam, was it?"
Jett smirked back at him.
"Yep. That's the one! Remember?" She lightly scoffed, poking her noodles again with her fork, and while the smile was still on her face, she stared down at her bowl rather than look back at him almost intentionally. "It's the one you made fun of when I tried to tell you it was actually good, just because you think Spam sucks."
Phoenix stiffened.
The warmth from the atmosphere before disappeared, and he was suddenly aware of how chilly it actually had been all along, despite consuming warm Korean instant ramen.
Now that he thought about that time, Phoenix remembered wondering why she seemed a bit more annoyed than usual at the restaurant when he had been going off - as what he thought had been back-and-forth, mind you - about how the future was now and they didn't need to rely on canned mystery meat or instant college foods anymore if they were together at this nice Korean BBQ restaurant, spending good money on good meat.
Almost like Jett had been personally hurt by Phoenix talking shit about Spam.
Almost like Jett had been personally hurt by Phoenix talking shit about part of her life.
"Oh, fuck. Jett, does that actually bother you?" Phoenix's brows creased together, and his face fell. "Aw, mate, shit. Shit, I thought it was banter, sorry - like, you kept calling British food shit and all so, like - "
"No, Phoenix, it's fine!" Jett interjected, waving her fork dismissively. She chuckled again. "I've given you Korean food before anyway, and you liked it, so, hey, everything's cool!"
Memories came back to him of the Korean BBQ restaurant, and this time, they didn't feel as good.
He remembered soju shots in cold beer, crossing each other's arms to do extra soju shots which she joked was called a "love shot" (which Phoenix had asked if anything would happen to them after they now have done the love shot together and Jett had just slapped him with a wet piece of lettuce while they laughed drunkenly, much to the judgmental glares of the waiters watching them), and her feeding him lettuce wraps filled with freshly grilled meat, rice, and various vegetables pickled and fresh - before he had made his own ssam wrap and fed it back to her too.
He remembered how hurt she had looked then, at the Korean BBQ restaurant - before the meat had come out for her to grill, and how even while Jett was grilling it that the only time she had stopped looking as hurt is when the side dishes came late and Phoenix had, genuinely and sincerely, blurted out how much he loved kimchi.
"I like sharing food with you, Phoenix," Jett said softly.
Jett hadn't looked as hurt at the Korean BBQ restaurant when he began telling her non-stop how his biological mum always bought it from the supermarket for some kind of Korean sandwich, layered with cabbage, ham, and a fried egg - and it absolutely banged and even his adoptive mum - once staunchly English with the classic palate of a boring British person until introduced to not just the love of a Nigerian woman but the food of a Nigerian woman - loved eating the kimchi on its own too.
Jett's eyes met his this time, and he felt his heart skip at the way they sparkled, the way her lips curved to match her gaze, the way her cheeks coloured, smiling sincerely towards him with a shyness he wasn't accustomed to but made the warmth he was feeling come back.
"And…Korean food is really important to me. So, I wanted to share Korean food with you again, and you liked it! When you like it…that's, really important to me too."
Jett hadn't looked as hurt at the Korean BBQ restaurant when she explained that the sandwich was just called "toast" in South Korea, and didn't realize it was known about in England; he explained his mum had it as a kid at a pop-up restaurant in London.
That's when Jett had smiled again at him then - just like she was smiling at him now.
His heart swelled. It felt overwhelmed with feelings; good, bad. Happiness, guilt. God, he was a fucking idiot. He was so fucking stupid. He had to address this properly.
"More important than boba?" Phoenix shot back instead, and Jett snorted, smile shifting into something playful.
"Other than boba, of fucking course!" She picked up the noodles she had been shifting around and finally shoved them into her mouth. "But that's actually Taiwanese. At least, I think it's Taiwanese? Let's look it up when we have signal."
Jett hadn't looked as hurt at the Korean BBQ restaurant anymore. He remembered she looked not only happy but confident and smug - just like when she was showing him the Korean instant ramen today, the ramyeon - when she began bragging about how much better Korean kimchi was, and asked if he ever had it grilled.
Phoenix followed suit, finishing off his bowl. He realized what she was talking about when the noodles absorbed too much and got soggy. It was still fine; he had water now. He'd wash it all down.
"So this, erm, dubujjigae…is it really that amazing?"
"Budaejjigae, Phoenix."
"That, y-yeah. Sorry."
She hummed.
"Yeah, it is. If you liked my ramyeon now, yo, wait until you taste the family budaejjigae recipe! My grandma? She made really good budaejjigae. She used to tell me stories about how it was a recipe passed down by my ancestors during the war. It was like…"
Jett paused. She gulped down her noodles, finishing it off with a loud sigh before leaning back in her chair.
"Budaejjigae is taking what we needed wherever we found it after living through the hard times, and we survived from it. And that recipe? I cooked it a lot back at our restaurant in Seoul."
Jett nodded somberly, her gaze lost in her own memories and thoughts.
"I think that it's cool, I guess," she murmured. "Like, when Japan left Korea a century ago when shit was bad, and we made ramyeon our own thing. I think that's kinda why it's almost always an instant noodle. But my grandma and my uncle never said yes when I said we should do not-instant, Japanese-style Korean ramyeon at the restaurant. I wish I understood it more, now that I think about it."
Phoenix was lost in his own memories and thoughts too.
Jett hadn't looked hurt at the Korean BBQ restaurant anymore when he said he never had kimchi grilled. As she had promised, grilled kimchi was fucking delicious.
As a matter of fact, Jett only looked hurt again at the Korean BBQ restaurant in a different way when Phoenix had looked hurt - even though he had tried not to look hurt - when he said he wished he could find the courage to call his mums one day, and at least tell them to grill their kimchi before putting it in their Korean toast sandwiches.
One too many love shots and soju in beer will do that, Phoenix remembered saying, after confessing that to Jett.
One too many love shots and soju in beer will do that too, Phoenix remembered Jett saying as well, when they had almost kissed in front of her room.
"Would you eat Spam, Phoenix?"
Phoenix abruptly returned back to the present in his current memory with Jett.
He cleared his throat and avoided her gaze. Jett laughed at him again, but despite her good nature, he couldn't help but feel ashamed. Had he really lost himself into something his biological mum would disapprove of?
His family, his blood, beyond just the United Kingdom but with roots in Africa, his blood and hers not wholly of England, expressing joking disappointment towards Jamie if he thought something was just too much for his taste buds, or if he didn't like some Nigerian dishes?
When his mum, his family and culture, would tease him with: are you sure she isn't your biological mother too, my Little Prince?
"Not really the kind of guy who'd eat it by choice, if I'm honest. But, does that make me uncultured?" He looked up at her. "I just…shit, Sun. Do you think I'm actually uncultured, Sunwoo?"
When his mum, his family and culture, would tease him with: your palate is more like hers than it is mine, so are you more of her son now, my Little Prince?
Are you Jamie Galloway or Jamie Adeyemi, my Little Prince?
She raised an eyebrow.
"What? No, Jamie, " she replied, playfully saying his name. "Like, I can name a couple people in the Protocol who I think don't have any kind of culture, and, look - you're not at the top of that list."
She took a sip of water from her mug.
"I just think you're unbearably British."
That hurt more than it should.
He could not let that hurt show to her. Not after what he did to her.
Phoenix let the guilt on his face seem abruptly washed away. He let his jaw fall open and his brows crease downwards rather than upwards.
"Yo, nah, too far, Jett." His tried not to smile too hard as he forced an exaggerated scowl on his lips. It was hard. "You can't talk shit about me being British when I'm opening myself up to you like this."
"Okay, why not? What happened to 'the bants', Pretty Boy? Come on, answer the question: would you eat Spam or not?"
Her tone was so familiar that Phoenix felt comfortable enough in the situation to be honest with her.
"I just…yo, I can't see myself enjoying something considered mystery meat by choice. Just, how do you say this? It's just not on for me, know what I mean? Guess not, but I'm really…not used to it." He shifted his eyes, the corners of his mouth no longer curving upwards. "I mean, you think I'm wrong, right? Would not be uncalled for, but, you know…"
He saw Jett smirk again, and he hated how bad he felt.
"Yes, you are. But I get it! Spam, however, is still something Koreans eat by choice and enjoy! Like, okay, it can be super salty but especially when you cook it - like, in Spam in budaejjigae or gimbap just hits different. Cooked Spam hits different! If you eat uncooked Spam without anything else from the can and enjoy it like that, then that's really fucking weird and you need help. But seriously, it's so good! I'll make you budaejjigae one day, Phoenix. If you're so concerned about being 'uncultured' or 'wrong', then I'll blow your British mind again and teach you about culture, got it?"
Phoenix couldn't even fake a smile back, despite her friendliness.
He couldn't even look directly at her when Jett had raised an eyebrow. He couldn't; he just felt awful. Sunwoo had shared an important part of her culture - of her life - with him, and he had laughed at it and mocked it. He hurt her. He should have supported her. He should have been there for her.
The warmth was gone; it was just coldness again. It was a billowing and angry wind, freezing and pale, that was threatening to make him feel worse that Phoenix couldn't do anything more for Jett, just like when he had found her after she had been shot straight through the waist and was bleeding out next to the Spike earlier.
"Hey, where's that smile gone to?" Jett frowned. "Oh, come on, Pretty Boy; don't do this to me, please?"
He shook his head, still avoiding looking at her. She sighed, and when he looked back up, she was staring to the side in frustration, slumped in her chair with her lips pursed. "Like, seriously, don't - don't feel bad, Jamie, come on! I lived in America, I've been told worse. I lived there for years before I went back to Seoul to help at my family's restaurant, man! You know, before I…"
She took a deep breath, clicking her tongue.
"Before I destroyed it."
The orphanage news article he had read in the hospital when they found him alive appeared in his mind.
This time, Phoenix spoke up.
"By accident."
Jett could only nod, blinking slowly and carefully.
"Yeah. By accident."
The seriousness was brushed aside immediately as she closed her eyes and shrugged, turning to face him fully in her chair. Her tone was off. He knew she was bothered. He hated it.
"But people make fun of me for eating Spam, 'isn't that dog food?', or the classic: asking if I really ate 'rotten cabbage', and you know what? It's fine! I told them off, I never threw away my lunches like everyone else! Ain't no one taking me away from kimchi! There's, like, bigger issues than what's in my lunchbox, and I never even brought the super smelly kimchi!"
That wasn't fine at all. As a matter of fact, he's heard that exact phrasing before - from his adoptive mum. She who had the English palate that he was convinced could never be changed. As a matter of fact, he was the one who told her she should get over her fear of 'rotten cabbage' first before his biological mum did. And if she did, she would love the sandwich. And his mum did love the sandwich. She even loved the kimchi itself.
Yet here Jamie Adeyemi was, being a hypocrite about spam, cheese, and ramyeon.
Jett just shrugged again.
"That's, like, a big Korean thing if you grew up outside of Korea, though. Compared to, uh…like, there's way bigger issues that can happen to you other than people saying 'eww' at food, know what I mean? Like the eyes jokes or the plastic surgery jokes. Phoenix; it's really not that big of a deal, I'm used to it, whatever! Like, I got excited back then when you told me you liked fucking kimchi, that's such a cringe thing be happy about! It's not like you went outta your way to say that I'm, like - a disgusting freak for eating 'rotten cabbage with pig shit' after I told some bitchy American girl with fried blonde hair about gopchang, got it? And, I'm not even gonna talk about learning what a 'real' Korean acts like when I went back to Seoul, 'cause that also…"
Rather than properly reflect on what Jett said - which all sounded upsetting, actually - Phoenix had to go and open his mouth.
"Right, you sure that's not cringe Americans being cringe Americans?"
Jett blinked. She chuckled incredulously, taken off-guard, and Phoenix cursed his lack of impulse. Phoenix cursed his lack of impulse when he knew Jett was sad and instinctively had to lighten the mood somehow, even if it was ill-timed or inappropriate.
"Sorry." He winced, forcing a smile this time that was apologetic. He turned to face Jett fully as well. "Seriously, though: sorry. Like, I'm…I'm really sorry."
"Phoenix, I said it's okay - "
"Nah, what you just told me wasn't okay. Look, I know how important food is to you, period. Don't matter if it's 'cause you think it's from you being more American than Korean - which, you're not, I think you're Korean and American both. Literally Korean-American; Asian-American or whatever it's called, yeah? But I'm sorry if I ever made you feel shit about something you grew up with, something that's part of you."
"Oh, Phoenix…"
"Nah, nah, Jett; listen to me." He placed his hand over his chest. "I'm British. And I'm always gonna be British. But, I'm also Nigerian. I get it, or…I should get it?" He nodded. "And, look, maybe I am, like…more British than Nigerian. Dunno. Thought about it a lot, yeah? Like, if I can't speak Yoruba all that good or I don't like nkwobi, am I less Nigerian for it? I get it. And, honestly - when I really think about it, I had to adapt a lot. You know it's bad when even your English mum says you've gotten more 'posh' after school, you feel me?"
He wondered how his adoptive mum was doing; how his biological mum was doing.
"But I'm still British; I'm still gonna be unbearably, insufferably British, especially come the next World Cup, yeah? Unless it's just not coming home, like it's been almost a century and then some. Then we're with Nigeria if they firm it, and they fucking will, yeah? 'Cause last year, they got damn close to clapping the big boy groups. But look, that's not the point. Jett, Sunwoo, I…"
Phoenix took a deep breath in.
He missed his adoptive mum. He missed his biological mum. He wanted to make it right with them. He wanted to make it right with Jett.
"I promise you: if it don't seem like I got it now, then I will get it. I've got this, and I want you to believe that, Sunwoo."
There was silence for a moment as Jett looked back at him. She couldn't help but chuckle shortly after, almost as a reaction, and shook her head almost defensively. What was different this time is how she looked almost bashful in a way, as if she's not sure how to react to him being this open with her.
Bashful, and…genuinely happy. Like back when Phoenix said he and his family loved kimchi at the Korean BBQ restaurant.
"Jamie, it's fine! Like, come on." She rolled her eyes. "I bully Neon about balut and Breach about surstromming all the time! Even though, y'know, Breach also makes fun of surstromming and Neon also just says I'm missing out, which if she asks I don't believe for a second even if I do believe her, but I just like watching her get annoyed, it's so funny. But, I still make fun of Breach and Neon for it! Come on, bro, I'll make fun of you: beans on toast! British people are fucking weird, you're weird for liking beans on toast!"
This time, Phoenix is able to smile for real.
"Right, you know what? I've decided; I wouldn't mind trying that army stew after having this. Them, erm, the bujudigae."
Jett snorted.
"Budaejjigae."
He blinked.
"Right, shit, sorry. Was that not what I said, though?"
"No, you said bujudigae." She giggled. "Boojoo! And you said dubujjigae earlier and that means 'tofu stew', and yo, that's like, actually a different thing that we can try too!"
After she giggled, she paused. Then, Jett leaned forward so that they were inches apart from each other's face. He really wanted to brush the loose strands of hair away from her eyes.
"But, seriously: do you mean that?" she murmured. "Like, okay: I don't wanna force you to eat it if you really, really don't like Spam. I don't think that's fair, even if, like, you are missing out, but I-I mean…"
He wanted to hold her face after brushing her hair away. He wanted to kiss her lips while holding her face.
He did not act on what he wanted and sat up straight instead.
"Yeah. Like, gonna be honest. Still super, super suspect of American cheese, especially now that I'm not as starving - but these Korean instant ramen noodles? The ramyeon, with that cheese? Like, honestly, now that I think about it - this ramyeon, yeah? Korean ramyeon is solid. Decent. Everything you've let me taste from Korea has been decent. Proper, serious, decent. Delicious, you feel me?" He hummed thoughtfully. "The spicy rice cakes, the barbeque, the lettuce wraps; they're called ssam, right? Oh, my days, Korean fried chicken - "
"Oh, shit." Jett gave a wistful sigh again as she also sat up, grinning from ear-to-ear. "God, Korean fried chicken, oh. Now I want yangnyeom or pachae chicken with some beer!"
Jett loved cooking. Jett loved food in general. It was incredible how much even talking about food gave her energy, just glowing with happiness when food was involved. He loved that energy on Jett.
Honestly, he probably just loved Jett. That would explain a lot.
"God, yeah. Like, that's the only thing I'd take over ramyeon right now: hot chicken and beer!" He sighed along with her too, and he wasn't sure how she could do this, he was convinced he had been full just moments ago. "Fuck, like - American and Chinese fried chicken does go hard, but Korean fried chicken hits different, don't it? Especially when you cooked it."
Jett bit her lower lip and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Seriously!" Phoenix spluttered, and Jett chuckled.
"Hmm, uh-uh, you sure you're not just buttering up to me, Pretty Boy? I told you, Phoenix, you don't have to feel bad - "
"Nah, nah, this is for real! Korean food? It has slapped. Man's being one hundred honest here. The only thing I didn't like about this food, if I think about it, was all of the shit that was American - and even then, when you cooked it, I actually liked the American shit too!"
Jett hummed, playfully looking towards the ceiling as if lost in thought.
She opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly flicked her head to the side briefly with her lips blowing air aggressively to the side, trying to get the loose strands of hair away from her eyes.
"Yeah, but, that's probably because I cooked those, and let's be real here - I'm just a boss at cooking, alright? Whether it's food from America or food from home!"
His hand reached out before he could stop himself.
Phoenix's fingers gently brushed one of the loose strands of hair away from Jett's face, tucking them back behind her ears.
"Does what you make for me taste like home?" Jamie asked her softly.
She flushed, and Sunwoo's eyelashes fluttered at him.
"Yeah," she murmured. "It does."
She began to splutter.
"But y-you know, you're not the only one who gets cooked ramyeon and Korean food! Don't think you're so special, Pr-Pretty…" Jett huffed. "Phoenix!"
Phoenix's hand hadn't left her face. It cupped her cheek, pink and warm. Her flustered demeanor shifted to something that he could only describe as both tension and trust.
His heart was pounding. He wondered if hers was too.
"So, you've brought me to your home?" Jamie said.
She tried to snort back. It came out quiet and bluffing.
"Yeah. I guess I have, Pretty Boy." Her voice was very soft. Her skin was very soft. Sunwoo was soft. "Gonna meet my parents and all that shit. God, aren't you a lucky guy?"
His lips parted to allow himself to chuckle as softly.
"That's way better than any posh, overpriced Michelin star restaurant I could go to, Sunwoo."
Sunwoo smiled at him, and her smile was truly beautiful.
He wanted to kiss her lips while holding her face. He wanted to kiss that smile. She was the wind, and he was the fire, and he wanted to feel that kind of warmth and excitement that only the wind and fire could become, together.
He loved her. He loved her so much. He wanted to show her. He wanted to kiss her.
Sunwoo raised her hand up to grasp Jamie's hand, and his breath hitched as their eyes stayed focused onto each other. He felt his fingers being brushed gently by her own, soft and warm, tender and sweet.
He also felt thin plastic.
Sunwoo, while still smiling beautifully at Jamie, proceeded to take her hand off his and bite into the half-opened slice of American cheese she was holding.
Phoenix's face twisted in utter shock and disbelief, hand going stiff on her face.
Jett just burst out laughing as her hand flew up to cover her mouth.
"Oh my God, Phoenix, your fucking face, that's so fucking funny…" She swallowed, snickering. "Fuck, oh, man. But see? I told you ramyeon goes hard!" Her tone became coy again, batting her eyelashes at the man across from her. "Ramyeon is love, ramyeon is life."
His hand left her face and dropped into his lap. He could feel his spirit leaving his body. Without warning, she had done that. He was not ready for that, and if he was not ready for that, he decided he was not ready at all to kiss her.
Phoenix looked absolutely nonplussed as he watched Jett taking another bite of the cheese. She chewed slowly, so innocently, as if she didn't know what she was doing - right in front of him, right in front of God.
"I meant the experience! Especially with you, Sunwoo!" He couldn't help but smile in embarrassment. "Ah, fuck. Man's gotta admit it, though; the ramyeon with American cheese does bang."
He groaned.
"But not the fucking fake cheese on its own, bro! What is wrong with you?!"
In response, Jett simply and coolly - without breaking eye contact with him - took another shameless bite out of the packaged cheese slice.
God, Sunwoo Han was something else entirely. Absolutely mad. Incredibly fun. Arrogant and cocky. Sweet and sincere. Insane sometimes. He loved her. Phoenix loved Jett.
"Sometimes, I don't have the energy to cook anything fancy, or healthy, or whatever, Phoenix," Jett replied. "Even if we weren't stuck in some Alaskan log cabin during a blizzard; fast and easy-to-make food, especially ramyeon, is perfect for me."
Jett peeled off the rest of the plastic and shoved the rest of the cheese into her mouth. This time, she made sure to chew dramatically, like a goddamn cow, masticating on its cud and chewing with her mouth open; an affront to all things righteous and good in this world.
God, it was a bad idea to love her. Did he truly love her?
Whatever his feelings were, Phoenix had it bad for Jett and she knew it. That's how she knew she could get away with this shit. Phoenix just slowly shook his head at her with a tight-lipped smirk, and that's when Jett swallowed down the cheese and crumbled up the plastic wrap, dropping it next to her empty bowl.
"And, honestly, Phoenix? I'm glad it was perfect for you too. It's quick, it's warm, and it's comforting, and once you've tried it, if you've got any - the cheese is absolutely mandatory." She turned towards him and smiled. "Just the way I like it."
That's how Jett knew she could make Phoenix a better person, a person open to Spam and cheese and love and honesty; a person open to calling his mums up when he got back to VP Headquarters, or even flying over straight from Alaska to Peckham and telling his mums their son was sorry for breaking off contact with them after Venice. That their son was sorry he didn't tell them sooner about grilling kimchi for fried rice or for Korean toast sandwiches because oh my days, what a game-changer it was, and both his mums would love it and he needed them to know and he needed them.
It's me, mums; it's your son, Jamie. Your Little Prince of Kingdom Galloway, of Kingdom Adeyemi. I'm sorry I let you down. But this is Sunwoo Han! She's a friend from work. Can we invite her over for dinner? Let's make her tea and some peppered fish with fritters! Mum, you and mum - you'll love her. I love her.
One day, when Jett was ready - fuck it, when they were both properly ready, Phoenix will express those feelings to her…without being interrupted by her eating packaged American fridge products in front of his face.
Phoenix's smirk grew wider.
"Quick. Warm. Comforting. And cheesy. So, if I've got it right…" He lowered his eyelids at her, and he leaned forward in his chair. "You're saying: you like it just like me?"
A piece of unopened cheese landed on his face.
Phoenix yelped, flailing his arms and immediately throwing it back onto the table. "You wish, Pretty Boy! You're not quick at all; you're so slow." Jett scoffed, the final slice of cheese that had been on the table floating behind her and spinning calmly, and Phoenix eyed it carefully from the corner of his vision. "I bet your brain moves as fast as your legs do."
"Aww, Jett, come on now! Maybe I just like, you know…savouring the moment." Still alert, Phoenix leaned forward again daringly. The tone of his voice lowered to something almost hoarse; almost challenging. "Like how I savoured ramyeon. Like how I savoured being with you."
He quickly moved to the side to dodge the last piece of cheese that flew across the kitchen with a half-yelp, half-laugh, and if that was the fastest he had dodged anything that day including on the battlefield earlier.
"God, ew, not sexy at all!" Jett was laughing despite her face being red. "Ugh, that's so cringe. Don't ever pull anymore ramyeon pick-up lines on me ever again; like, that was a real thing fifty years ago and we don't need to bring it back! Savour the moments faster, Phoenix; if you still had ramyeon, your noodles would've gotten cold, gross, and soggy if you kept being sappy with me!"
"Ah, see, you'd eat ramyeon quick, but you'd wait for me, right?" Phoenix chuckled. "You wouldn't wait for me this long if you didn't want me to be sappy with you; right, Wind Girl?"
He heard wind from inside, and Phoenix braced himself to dodge that slice of cheese again. At that moment, however, Jett let out a loud yawn and stretched her arms out. Heard the cheese still in its packaging slap back onto the floor behind him. One of her hands rubbed at her waist as the other hand rubbed her eyes, and it occurred to Phoenix just how late it was - how she was still slowly recovering with Skye's slow-method healing, why she had originally made him ramyeon, and why they had tried to eat as fast as they could initially.
"Oh, wow, yep, uh-huh, look at the time, wow! Alright, Phoenix…"
When Jett nodded and stood up, reaching for the pan and the bowls, Phoenix placed his hands over hers.
"Right. Thanks for the meal, Jett." He stood up too, still holding her hands; it was absolutely a deliberate choice, and Jett didn't seem too bothered or annoyed; if anything, he saw her initial surprise turn into a coy smile. Phoenix grinned. "Look, I'll wash these, and you get some rest. Fucking late, innit? You take the bed or the couch, whatever you want. 'Cause, like, the couch's near the fire, and I've not seen the bedroom upstairs but I don't know if they got heating in the - "
What he wasn't expecting was Jett to lean forward and quickly kiss Phoenix on the cheek.
His words trailed off. She squeezed his hands back before releasing them, and Jett stepped back with mischief in her eyes and her smile.
Phoenix, rendered speechless, practically gawked at Jett, eyes wide and mouth open. In return, Jett - this woman, Sunwoo Han, this beautiful woman who had him all messed up that he'd never want to hurt, never would want to see her hurt, who made them food tonight, who shared her life with him - dared to giggle before giving him a short, playful bow.
"Thanks for doing the dishes, Cheesy Ramyeon Boy; see you tomorrow!"
With that, Jett dashed out of the kitchen and disappeared from sight. Some of the plastic wrappers and packaging flew up in the air and landed either back on the table, or onto the wooden floor of the kitchen.
Phoenix's hand reached up to touch his cheek.
The biggest and most likely stupidest-looking grin spread across his face. His heart was still pounding in his chest and his thoughts were overflowing with ideas of what insanely smooth or ridiculously awful pick-up line he should have said to convince her that another kiss - maybe on the lips, despite the cheese - could actually, despite the rules, be somehow a good idea.
But most of all, the warmth of his feelings combating the chilly, frigid air inside the Alaskan log cabin (at least, that's what it felt like), and it reminded Phoenix of what she had told him about ramyeon earlier before he had thrown his ridiculously awful (maybe insanely smooth, actually) pick-up line:
Jett was like ramyeon too: quick, warm, and comforting.
Phoenix heard footsteps, and realized she was hastily jogging the rest of the way upstairs, before hearing a door close a bit too loudly. It was then followed by what sounded like a cross between a held-back screech and squeak before it turned into aggressive and sometimes flustered noises, muffled through the walls, that sounded vaguely Korean.
He kept grinning as he placed the dishes into the sink rather than the dishwasher; it was only a few plates anyway.
The cheese, Phoenix decided as he picked up the packaged slice Jett had flung at him earlier, was absolutely mandatory.