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Luda meets Aleksander at a mutual friend’s house.
He’s handsome, polite, charming and clever. He asks intelligent questions about her job at Os Alta General and doesn’t look immediately put off by how she describes her ever-changing and often chaotic work schedule. They both like old movies and dogs.
“What do you think?” she whispers to her best friend Elizaveta when Aleksander has gone to the bathroom.
“Well, he’s definitely hot,” Elizaveta concedes, “and he doesn’t immediately give off serial killer vibes. I just … something about him screams ‘too good to be true’, like he might be hiding some dark secret … I’m probably just being paranoid, though.”
Luda usually takes the gut feelings her friends have seriously, but in this case she thinks Elizaveta is just being a little overprotective. She’s got a good feeling about Aleksander.
Who knows, maybe he’ll even be The One.
For their first date, he takes her out to dinner at The Fold, one of Os Alta’s most exclusive restaurants.
“How did you get a reservation so quickly?” she asks, eyes wide as they’re seated quickly in the best possible spot.
“It’s not as impressive as you think,” he admits, “my father owned a chain of restaurants that he left to me when he died two years ago and this is one of them.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry about your father.”
She can’t imagine how she’d feel about losing one of her parents. It upsets her just thinking about it.
Aleksander only shrugs, “thank you, but we weren’t close. He and my mother divorced when I was four and I didn’t see him often. It was a bit of a surprise that he left me the restaurants.”
The wait staff are especially attentive during dinner, probably aware of exactly who Aleksander is, and Luda lets Aleksander give her recommendations, knowing he’ll have a good sense of the menu.
“You have an impressive vegetarian and vegan selection,” Luda says with a pleased smile when Aleksander recommends the sweet potato falafel for her starter.
“All Alina’s doing rather than mine, I’m afraid,” he tells her, “she’s vegetarian and she told me the restaurants needed more non-meat options. She drove Ivan – he’s the executive chef here – fairly crazy for a few months while we worked out the new menu.
“Alina?” Luda asks carefully.
Is Elizaveta right? Is Aleksander one of those guys into open relationships or casual dating? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, when everyone involved understands it, but isn’t something Luda is interested in.
“Alina is my step-sister. She’s studying at Os Alta University at the moment.”
Luda feels herself relax slightly. That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.
“Well, you’ll have to thank her,” she smiles, “I’m not actually vegetarian, but I try not to eat too much meat.”
The sweet potato falafel is delicious, as is the salmon alfredo and the strawberry cheesecake.
As they eat, the conversation flows easily, thankfully free of the awkwardness that sometimes permeates a first date.
Luda talks more about her job – she is a resident at Os Alta General in the Cardiology Department – and then a bit about her family (no siblings, but loving parents), friends and hobbies.
In return, Aleksander tells her about his mother Baghra (“she’s remarkable, but not the most maternal of women”), step-father Anton (“dull … just dull – I’ve really no idea why my mother married him – it’s been seven years since the wedding and I still know almost nothing about him”) and, most of all, his step-sister Alina (“she’s my best friend, really, so sweet and affectionate, phenomenally talented”).
He’s just in the middle of explaining what it is he does (running the restaurants, which Ivan and his husband Fedyor help with, and then his day job at The Little Palace, a small but well-regarded publishing company founded by his mother) when his phone rings.
“Sorry,” he says, “I better get this, just in case it’s an emergency.”
“Hello … Linka? … yes … no … of course not … mmm … you’re never a bother, darling … twenty minutes, maybe a bit longer if there’s traffic … I’ll be there.”
He puts the phone down and shoots Luda an apologetic smile, “I have to go, I’m afraid. I need to pick Alina up.”
Their food is finished, the dishes cleared away as they lingered over glasses of wine, but Luda is still disappointed. It had been such a good evening that she’d hoped to linger in Aleksander’s company for a while longer.
“Is she alright?”
“A little bit tipsy, that’s all,” he says, “she and her friends can get rather merry when they’re all out together and I’ve always told her to call me first if she’s had too much to drink – I don’t like the idea of her taking public transport late at night, and I worry about her getting an Uber when she’s vulnerable.”
Luda, who has travelled home on the Tube after countless late shifts at the hospital without incident (okay, without serious incident), thinks he might be a little bit overprotective. Still, it’s rather endearing, how much he cares about his step-sister, willing to go out of his way to keep her safe.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says, “it’s been a lovely evening.”
He shows her out, insists on calling a car to take her home, kisses her softly, and asks to see her again.
She manages to repress the urge to squeal as she gets into the car.
It’s been such a delightful evening.
The first time they sleep together, it’s …
It’s not that it’s bad, not at all, just … a bit rougher than she expects.
Kind of at odds with the charming, courteous man who opens doors and pulls chairs out and insists on paying even when she offers to split the bill.
When their kisses become heated, one of his hands wraps around her hair and he pulls, tilting her head back, letting him suck a mark into her neck that throbs.
His foreplay is gentler, fingers slipping between her legs, bringing her to a quick and satisfying orgasm that leaves her warm and pliant.
But then he pushes her face down into the pillow, arranges her body as if she is a doll and not a person. Despite how wet she already is, it still hurts a little when he slams into her, his pace unrelenting.
She tries to ask him to slow down a little, but her words are muffled by the pillow and he probably can’t hear her over his grunts.
He comes seconds after she does and, for a brief moment, Luda would swear that he says Alina.
That can’t be right, though. It’s ridiculous.
And when he brushes his hand through her hair, he murmurs her name, “Luda, Luda, Luda,” and she thinks she must have just heard wrong before.
“Are you alright?” he asks her softly as she curls up against him, “I sometimes forget my own strength.”
Her neck is sore and she aches between her legs, but he sounds so worried that she just promises him she’s fine.
It’s been a while since she had sex, after all. It’s not really surprising that there was some discomfort.
Next time will be better.
A month and a half after their first date, Luda sits in Elizaveta’s flower shop watching as she arranges some wedding bouquets.
“So … how’s it going with tall, dark and handsome?” Elizaveta asks.
Luda has been keeping her best friend updated, but it’s not quite the same as an in-person chat.
“He’s wonderful,” she sighs happily, “so charming and polite. He doesn’t talk over me or drone on about himself. He asks questions about my job and his eyes don’t glaze over when I go off on a tangent. He’s taken me to Os Alta Art Gallery, to see Sol Koroleva at the theatre, for a day trip to Balakirev, and to the Botanical Gardens.”
“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in there,” Elizaveta says, scrutinising Luda’s expression.
For a moment, Luda thinks about mentioning her concerns about their bedroom activities. It’s not that Aleksander doesn’t make her come – in fact, he’s extremely talented in that area – but the roughness from the first time hasn’t disappeared, and he tends to prefer it when she’s looking away or has her face buried in a pillow, so he can’t see her face when they have sex.
Elizaveta is so much more adventurous when it comes to sex, though, and Luda is sure she’ll just say that Aleksander is dominant, or a bit kinky. Instead, she confesses the one other thing that concerns her.
“Well … it’s nothing bad … really, it shows that he’s a good guy.”
Elizaveta raises an expectant eyebrow, “come on then, what’s the issue.
“It’s only … he’s got this younger step-sister and he’s super protective over her. He’s had to cancel four dates because something came up with her, and a few times we’ve planned to go to a bar or restaurant after we’ve gone out but he’s needed to leave early.”
Elizaveta frowns, “is there something wrong with his step-sister?”
“I don’t think so,” Luda says, “she’s at the university and I think he might have just read too many horror stories and so he’s concerned she’ll end up in trouble. I don’t think his mom or her dad are particularly affectionate parents, so they’re kind of each other’s only real family.”
“Well, on one hand it’s a good sign, you know, that he cares, can show emotion, isn’t one of those dark repressed sorts who don’t know how to deal with their feelings. But, on the other hand, you have to decide if you want to be with a guy who might continually prioritise someone else – it’s all well and good for him to help her out every now and then, but if most of your dates are being somehow affected by her, then you need to think about if you can deal with that long-term.”
“I really like him, Eliza,” Luda confesses, “although you do make a good point. He’s told me he’ll introduce us this weekend, so I guess I’ll see what she’s like.”
“Alright,” her friend nods, “just remember that you’re entitled to set up boundaries. You can talk to him, explain what the issue is, and see if he’ll make changes. Relationships are all about compromises after all.”
They’re at Aleksander’s Os Alta penthouse apartment (apparently, he has a brownstone further from the city centre, as well as apartments in Balakirev, Adena and Caryeva, and a house in Os Kervo – it’s a little intimidating, really, how wealthy he is) for a relaxed evening in, watching a film and eating take-out.
The sound of the door opening half way through Casablanca startles Luda, but Aleksander only pauses the film and waves his hand, “don’t panic, it’s just Alina – she’s got her own key.”
A young woman comes through the doorway, a riot of colour, dropping her bag on the floor.
Without even a glance at Luda, Alina crawls straight into Aleksander’s lap, leaning up to press her forehead against his.
For a moment, they just sit there, still and silent, lips moving but the sound coming out too quiet for Luda to make out.
This … this is weird.
She knows they’re close, but there’s an intimacy to what she’s witnessing that reminds her more of a couple than step-siblings.
What can she say, though? It’s not like she can start throwing out accusations like a crazy paranoid person.
No, she just sits there, waiting, trying not to watch.
Just as Luda is beginning to feel like an awkward third wheel, Alina slides out of Aleksander’s lap and offers her hand.
Luda is suddenly conscious of the fact that she is dressed like a woman one or two decades older than she actually is – smart trousers, conservative blouse, plain silver studs in her ears and nails cut short and unpainted to make things easier at work.
Alina, on the other hand, is wearing a bright geo print minidress, her nails painted every colour of the rainbow, dangling earrings with sun charms in her ears and a septum piercing glinting in her nose. There are only seven years between them, but to Luda it seems more like twenty.
“Lisa, right?” Alina gives her a sugary-sweet smile.
“Luda,” she corrects softly.
“Right, sorry, I’ve got no head for names,” Alina shakes her hand firmly, squeezing just a little too tightly to be entirely friendly.
Luda expects small talk to follow, the sort of ‘getting to know you’ conversation that she’s had with various friends’ new boyfriends and girlfriends.
Instead, Alina proceeds to almost entirely ignore her.
“You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had, Sasha,” she settles herself down on the couch, her legs in Aleksander’s lap.
She flexes her feet just a little and he automatically starts to massage them, Alina sighing loudly and happily as she recounts her chaotic day – Luda can’t quite keep track of it all, too many names she doesn’t know and a lot she just isn’t able to follow.
This is … not going well.
It’s not like she and Alina need to be best friends, but Luda knows that relationships can falter where one half of the couple doesn’t get on with someone close to the other half.
And it is clear, even after a short time, that Aleksander and Alina are incredibly close.
Alina, however, doesn’t seem to like Luda at all. When she tries to add something to the conversation, half-hesitant, voice barely a whisper, Alina shoots her such a disgusted look that Luda remains totally silent for the next twenty minutes.
Alina stays nearly three hours, eating into the entire evening, the movie left paused on the TV for two hours until someone thinks to just turn it off.
Aleksander, for his part, tries to include her in the conversation, but Alina really does seem to be having none of it, completely uninterested, it seems, in talking to Luda.
And yet, on her way out, she stops by Luda’s chair, “if you let me borrow your phone, Lily, then I’ll put my number in. Sasha talks about you so often and I’d love for us to go out and get to know each other.”
No part of Luda wants to hand her phone over to the young woman in front of her, but Aleksander looks so hopeful, pleased at Alina’s invitation in spite of the fact that she’s used the wrong name again, that she agrees, unlocks her phone and hands it over.
She’s watching Alina, after all. How much damage can she do in the thirty seconds she has access to Luda’s phone?
She breathes a sigh of relief when the front door clicks shut behind Aleksander’s step-sister, before turning to her boyfriend, “Alina seems … nice.”
“She’ll warm up to you,” Aleksander says, seemingly unconcerned, “she can be a bit prickly with new people.”
“Is she likely to remember my name any time soon?” Luda asks, a little irritated that Aleksander’s step-sister had called her a dozen names during the course of their conversation, none of them correct.
“Oh,” he actually laughs then, which annoys her a little, “that’s just a joke. Alina’s got a great head for names and dates – she studies Art, but she loves History too. She’s done this with every girlfriend I’ve had.”
Luda badly wants to ask exactly how many women he’s dated before her, but it doesn’t seem appropriate, not this early in their relationship, and it’s really only her jealousy making her curious.
It is somewhat comforting, though, to know that Alina behaves this way with all her step-brother’s girlfriends, that she’s not singling Luda out.
“She’s hazing me, then? And she’ll get my name right next time?”
“Err …” Aleksander looks sheepish now, not at all the confident man she knows, “well …”
“Aleksander?”
“She’s not malicious, you know, it’s just a joke.”
Luda takes that to mean that Alina won’t be getting her name right for a while.
And that’s fine. She can handle a little bit of pettiness like that. Besides, Alina is sure to get tired to it soon enough, and then maybe they can be friends.
Aleksander’s Instagram gives her nothing. His profile picture is just an image of an eclipse – a photograph that is the only picture he’s ever uploaded to his account, even though it seems to have been created four years ago.
He follows exactly seven people – SunshineAlina69, I.Kaminsky, Fedya_Kaminsky, Zoya.Naz, Genyaaaa, David.Kostyk and Nina_WAFFLES, and is followed only by them in return.
Luda clicks on follow and hopes he might follow her back.
Alina’s account offers more.
She seems to specialise in those photographs that offer tantalising glimpses of an exciting, jet-setting, wealthy lifestyle most people can only dream of.
Yacht parties. In front of Imperial Palace in Ahmrat Jen. Laughing at the beach. Paintings she’s done. Art galleries. A Ketterdam café. In a floaty dress at the fairy caves at Istamere in the Wandering Isle. Cocktails at a trendy bar. Looking like a model as she leans against a Ferrari. Dressed up and giggling with a beautiful red-head and two stunning brunettes. Private museum tours. Glittery nights out. Airport selfies.
And then, among those lively images, other photos that are more intimate.
Snuggling up against a much taller male. Curled up in someone’s lap. Walking down the street, cuddled close, an arm slung over her shoulder. A small hand reaching up to stroke the patchy section of an otherwise neatly-cropped beard. No faces in these pictures, but Luda knows who the man is. She’s familiar, after all, with Aleksander’s frame and the shape of his face.
She doesn’t look at Alina’s account again.
-----
Two weeks later, she notices Aleksander hasn’t followed her in return. In fact, he seems to have blocked her.
She thinks it must be a mistake. He’s admitted, after all, that he’s not much for technology.
And she really thinks there’s no point making things awkward by bringing it up with him.
“What’s wrong?” Elizaveta asks when they meet up at the park one afternoon.
Luda scowls down at her phone, “just another spam message. I seem to be getting loads of them recently.”
“It goes through phases I think,” her friend says, “just report them and hopefully that will stop you getting too many.”
“We should have a spa day,” Alina says out of the blue, when Luda has visited Aleksander only to find his step-sister there too, cooking dinner, as at home in his kitchen as she is in her own.
Luda isn’t particularly enthusiastic. She adores a nice spa day, but she’s still not entirely comfortable around Alina, who has visited Aleksander’s apartment four more times when Luda has been over, almost entirely ignoring her each time.
Aleksander looks almost amused, although she doesn’t know what is funny about the situation, but he nods his head encouragingly at her.
“We can invite your friend,” Alina adds, “Elizaveta, right?”
Luda nods. Of course, Alina gets Elizaveta’s name correct after hearing Luda mention it once, while she continues on with a variety of names for Luda – the offerings so far today have been Ludmilla, Lydia and Luna.
(Aleksander seems to think it’s just a fond little joke, telling her that Alina is being affectionate, but Luda is sure he’s just trying to get her to see the best in his step-sister).
“That sounds lovely,” Luda says, trying to smile and not quite succeeding.
Alina beams, “I’ll arrange it all,” she promises, “and, obviously, it’s my treat.”
Luda tries to protest, but Alina looks crestfallen, which makes Aleksander frown deeply, and so she just mutters a thank you and hopes she doesn’t regret it.
-----
Luda dreads the spa day, but finds herself pleasantly surprised.
Alina uses her actual name, is sweetness personified with Elizaveta, and acts far friendlier with Luda than she ever has before.
It must be a turning point, she thinks, an olive branch.
It really is one of the best, most relaxing days she’s had in ages.
“I thought you said she hated you,” Elizaveta whispers when Alina goes to check when their next appointment is, “I was ready to fight her.”
“I was sure she couldn’t stand me,” Luda says with a confused shrug, “she usually ignores me or calls me the wrong name. I guess … I guess it was just some kind of probation period and now she’s decided I’m alright.”
“Well, she’s got my vote. This spa is amazing.”
“Hey! Don’t go abandoning me just because you like fancy facials and spa pools.”
Elizaveta laughs, “relax, you’ve been my best friend for twenty years and that’s not about to change. I’m just saying it’s good that you and Alina can get along now, especially since it seems like you want to get serious with Aleksander.”
Luda blushes as she smiles, “we went to the opera yesterday for our three-month anniversary. I wasn’t sure I’d like it, but the story was just beautiful, and the singing was exquisite.”
“When am I going to meet this guy?” Elizaveta asks, “I need to vet him. I mean, the photos you’ve shown me prove he’s hot, but I’ve gotta be sure he’s not a dud.”
“Soon,” Luda promises, “I keep trying to set it up, but the dates never seem to work.”
They fall silent as Alina comes back, “pedicures in ten minutes, ladies,” she tells them, “and then lunch afterwards.”
The younger woman stretches out on the lounger like a cat, “so, what were we talking about?”
“The new exhibition at the Os Alta Art Gallery,” Elizaveta says smoothly.
“Oh, it’s just marvellous. I went last week with Genya, then again with Sasha at the weekend.”
Luda is a little sad that they didn’t think to ask her, but she had been working after all, and Aleksander knows she isn’t that into art.
It’s not like they’re deliberately excluding her.
-----
Aleksander comes over to her apartment that evening for dinner and asks her about her day out with Elizaveta and Alina.
Luda gushes about it, pleased with how well it had all gone.
“Alina was so lovely to Elizaveta, really friendly. We all had such a wonderful time. I was a bit worried, I admit, but it was brilliant. And Alina invited me for coffee tomorrow, and said we should go to the spa again in a month or two.”
For a few brief seconds, she thinks Aleksander looks irritated, but then his face clears and he smiles at her, “I’m so glad to hear it.”
He’s more animated than usual that evening, praising the vegetarian lasagna she’s made and telling a number of amusing work stories.
And later, when they’re in bed, he’s gentler than he generally is, more loving and tender. He always ensures she has a couple of orgasms, but he’s even more attentive now to what she likes, kissing her constantly, murmuring how much he adores her.
The next morning, she practically floats to the café where she’s meeting Alina, on cloud nine about the night before.
It’s too strange to give details to Aleksander’s step-sister, but she can’t help her good mood, nor can she resist giving a few hints as to the reason why she’s so happy.
They talk for a while and Alina mentions a young man she met at one of her art shows that she’s going out for drinks with (“tell Aleksander, won’t you, he’ll just lecture me if I mention it”).
Alina needs to leave early for a class she’d forgotten about, but Luda still sees the outing as a success.
They never do talk about the planned second spa day, though.
“Aleksander!”
Luda smiles brightly when she spots him as she’s taking a quick break, hurrying over to kiss him in greeting, “this is such a lovely surprise, but you didn’t have to go out of your way to visit me – I know you’re supposed to be at the restaurant today.”
“Actually,” he says, “I’m here on an errand for Alina – she’s done some paintings for the Children’s Ward and asked if I’d drop them off for her.”
He gestures to the side, where half a dozen large canvasses are carefully wrapped and stacked.
“Oh,” she says, “of course.”
She tries not to feel disappointed. The first time he’s visited her workplace and it isn’t even to see her.
Aleksander leans over to kiss her quickly, missing her mouth, his lips pressing her cheek instead, “sorry, I have to go – I’m on a bit of a tight schedule.”
Her bright smile fades as he turns the corner with the canvasses under his arms.
He’s doing a good deed, that’s all. The same thing he’d do for anyone, not just Alina …
Right?
A few hours later, she comes across some of her colleagues in the breakroom, talking about the new paintings in the Children’s Ward.
“Luda,” Anastasia waves at her, “what a hottie of a boyfriend you’ve got, you lucky woman. We met him earlier when he was bringing the canvases in.”
Luda blushes, “he is amazing.”
“And his sister has such talent!” Kho adds, pulling out his phone to show her the pictures he’s taken of the paintings – a magnificent silvery stag in a wooded forest, a lioness and her cubs, monkeys swinging from trees, a pod of dolphins leaping out of the water, a group of puppies rolling around and playing together, and two horses (one as dark as night, the other golden) galloping through a meadow together.
“Step-sister,” Luda murmurs, almost absentmindedly.
It seems important here, the distinction between a relation by blood and one by marriage. She doesn’t quite know why.
“Mmm,” Kho says, “so sweet and caring of her to do this for the kids – a lot of time and effort and she donated them all even though the hospital offered to pay.”
Luda almost wants to point out that Alina is wealthy enough not to need payment, but even the thought seems spiteful. Rich people can be philanthropic too, can have a heart and care enough to help without taking funds that might be better used elsewhere.
“She’s certainly something special,” Luda says instead.
(Alina hasn’t spoken to her in three weeks, since their café meeting the morning after they visited the spa).
Luda has a day off work, pure bliss.
A day out with Elizaveta has left her feeling very chilled, and she hums happily as she enters the bar where she’s agreed to meet Aleksander for a drink once he finishes work.
He’s waiting for her in a corner booth and waves, although he seems a little distracted by his phone.
“Everything ok?” she asks as he frowns down at the screen.
He looks up, unsure for a moment before he speaks, “can I ask you a terrible favour, Luda?”
“What is it?”
“Alina has an art show tonight and I promised months ago that I would help her set up her pieces. That’s why I could only meet for a quick drink tonight.”
Well, there went her plan to persuade him to join her back at her apartment for a nightcap. She’d thought work was just tiring at the moment and that was why he wanted an early night, not that he actually had plans.
“I didn’t realise she was showing her work,” Luda says, “is it at the university?”
Aleksander’s nose wrinkles in confusion, “I’m sorry, I thought Alina had sent you an invitation, but you couldn’t make it. It probably went straight out of her head – she’s been so stressed about this showcase.”
“It’s fine,” she murmurs, even though she has a sneaking suspicion that Alina’s failure to invite her to the show was a deliberate rather than an accidental omission.
“Anyway,” Aleksander continues, “I have to go in half an hour to meet her at the university, but she’s panicking because she can’t find her lucky necklace – it’s a sun pendant I got her for her sixteenth birthday – and she thinks she left it at her apartment. Would it be incredibly rude of me to give you my copy of her key so you can pick it up and bring it to the Rusalye Centre on campus – you can stay for the show if you want, of course, I’ll get a ticket for you.”
“I … I’m going to see my parents tonight, but if I have time I’ll grab it,” Luda promises.
She has no such plans, and of course she’ll go and collect the necklace, but she’s feeling the sudden urge to prove that she can do things outside of Aleksander, that she can be busy too.
He hands her the keys, finishes his drink, kisses her so quickly she barely feels his lips on hers, and then vanishes again.
Luda sighs, picks up her bag and pulls out her phone to order an Uber.
The building that houses Alina’s apartment isn’t nearly as fancy as Aleksander’s, but it’s in a very safe part of the city, right near to the university and certainly nicer than Luda’s own apartment building.
(Aleksander still doesn’t like it. In the three and a half months they’ve been dating, he’s probably mentioned a dozen times or more that he wishes Alina would move somewhere with a doorman and more security. He’s never said anything about Luda’s apartment).
It’s a nice apartment. Only one bedroom, but with a large open-plan kitchen, dining room and living room, a spacious bathroom and then Alina’s bedroom.
There are pictures all over the apartment. Alina and Aleksander at The Fold with two men who must be Ivan and Fedyor. Alina with a group of girls that she assumes are university friends. Most of all, though, there are pictures of Alina with Aleksander – at their parents’ wedding, on holidays, from parties and on days out, always with wide, beaming smiles, arms thrown around each other, cheeks pressed together, Alina sprawled across Aleksander’s lap in two of them.
Luda spots two mugs by the kettle, one bright yellow with a blazing sun and the second with a book on one side and the words Editor: only because Miracle Worker isn’t a real job title on the other side. One of Aleksander’s jackets is draped over the sofa on top of a world map blanket and she can see a pile of papers with his distinctive handwriting on the coffee table. When she goes to the bathroom (she really needs to use the toilet, ok, she’s not snooping) she spots Aleksander’s favourite toiletries in the cabinet.
And so he stays over enough for Alina to have things for him, well, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Even if he’s never left a single thing at Luda’s apartment.
Luda has never liked going into the bedrooms of people she doesn’t know very well. It seems strangely intrusive and awkward.
This is where the necklace is, though, so Luda pushes the door open and steps inside Alina’s bedroom.
She can’t help but use this opportunity as a chance to get a glimpse into Alina’s mind – the girl is still somewhat a mystery, despite how much Aleksander talks about her and the things she’s picked up when she’s spent time with her.
It’s such a riot of colour that it almost gives her a headache, but everything is neat and tidy, no clothes or clutter on the floor.
There is an easel set up right next to a huge window that probably offers plenty of light and fresh air when Alina is painting. The barely-begun painting seems familiar, and it only takes a few seconds for Luda to realise it is Aleksander’s face looking out at her. It’s an excellent likeness and Alina clearly is as talented as Aleksander always says.
Resisting the urge to poke around in Alina’s wardrobe and chest of drawers, Luda instead turns her attention to the dressing table, which Aleksander has told her has a hidden compartment where Alina stores her most valuable jewellery. She’s got a key for that as well and, after a few minutes of fiddling around, she finds the compartment and gets it open.
The boxes bear familiar names – Tiffany & Co, Cartier, Harry Winston and Bulgari – but Luda searches for a flat, black box as this particular necklace was apparently a private commission.
When she finds the right piece, she opens it up. She’s not being nosy, really, she just has to check she’s got the correct necklace.
Luda gasps. The gold chain is so fine it is probably almost invisible when Alina wears it, and the pendant is a blazing golden sun studded with diamonds. Luda feels nervous even brushing her fingers across it – she can’t imagine how expensive it is.
It really brings home the kind of wealth Aleksander has access to. Luda’s family are certainly comfortable, but she’s still got student loans to pay, a tiny apartment in an alright area of the city and a strict budget for trips and meals out each month.
As she walks out of the bedroom, another photo frame catches her eye.
It’s glittery gold, the words My Sunshine along the bottom. The frame holds a black and white photograph.
A slightly younger Aleksander – still handsome, but without his beard – beams out at her, his arms wrapped tightly around a grinning Alina, whose face is half-pressed into the crook of his neck.
Luda tries to remember if he has ever smiled that widely with her.
She chastises herself then. Aleksander and Alina have known each other for years. She and Aleksander have only been dating four months. He’s allowed to be close to his step-sister, and to have friends she’s never met.
She’s just being silly, ignoring all the fun they have, fixated on how she compares to Alina.
Shaking aside her ridiculous thoughts, Luda leaves the apartment, locking the front door and heading downstairs, wondering if she has enough time to run home and get changed before she heads to the art show.
Luda has just walked out of the building, Alina’s necklace safe in her bag, when she’s stopped by two uniformed police officers.
“Excuse me, Miss,” one of them says, “we’ve just had a report of a woman matching your description breaking into one of the apartments in this building.”
Luda’s eyes widen, her hands immediately sweaty.
She hasn’t done a thing wrong, but she’s never been accused of anything by the police, especially not theft.
“I was in there,” she says, “but I was picking something up for someone.”
“Alina Starkova?”
She nods, “I’m dating her step-brother. He gave me a key to Alina’s apartment to collect an item for her.”
“What is the item?” the sterner officer asks.
Luda pulls out the necklace with trembling hands and shows it to them.
“Real gold from the looks of it,” the other says, “and diamonds too. This is certainly worth a pretty penny.”
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.
“Would you come with us please, Miss?”
Luda goes silently, numbly.
She’s quiet during the ride to the station. She’s quiet when they tell her they can’t get hold of either Alina or Aleksander, their phones ringing out. She’s quiet when they say no one at Alina’s apartment complex can confirm she who she is (naturally, since Luda has never visited Alina before). She’s quiet when they tell her they’re going to put her into an interrogation room until they can get the matter cleared up.
She’s quiet and she tries very hard not to cry.
Aleksander arrives at just past 1am, looking horrendously guilty.
“Luda! I can’t believe … I never thought this would happen … I’ve no idea how … Alina is absolutely mortified about it all … her phone was in her bag and I’d put mine there too. The bag was in a locker during the show so we didn’t hear … it all got so hectic … you’d said you might not make it because of your parents and I didn’t think anything of it when you didn’t arrive … I should have called and checked on you … I’m so sorry.”
He’s babbling, very un-Aleksander, and she’s so tired and upset, but it really is comforting when he wraps his arms around her, leading her out to his car so he can drive her home.
She’s so exhausted that she never thinks about the fact that Aleksander’s phone is always with him, that he never puts it down, the one piece of technology he readily and enthusiastically uses.
Alina sends a huge bouquet of flowers, Luda’s favourite chocolates and a lifetime membership to the Os Alta Botanical Gardens as an apology gift.
Aleksander is devoted and attentive for the next week, taking three days off work so he can whisk her away for a weekend getaway in Os Kervo, taking her to the seafood restaurant she’s always wanted to try, and going on an eight-mile hike with her even though she knows he isn’t fond of walking that kind of distance.
Elizaveta jokes to her that it’s almost worth seven hours in a police station to get that level of affection, but her friend’s comment fails to make her laugh.
Luda can’t quite verbalise why she feels like something is very wrong.
“I won’t be able to come over tomorrow,” Aleksander mentions as they tidy up after their movie night, “I’ve got a dinner party at Ivan and Fedyor’s.”
“Oh, who’s going?” she asks, trying to sound casual.
“Me, Alina, Genya and David, Zoya, Nina and Matthias.”
The names are familiar. Old friends of his. She’s never met any of them but Alina.
He must sense her disappointment because he rubs his thumb over her knuckles, an attempt at comfort, “sorry you can’t come this time. Ivan and Fedyor are a bit territorial with their dinner parties – they’ve only just agreed to invite Matthias and he and Nina have been together for three years.”
He’d said something similar when Genya and David had hosted an event the month before.
She doesn’t think it’s unreasonable to want to meet her boyfriend’s friends, especially not when he is far closer to them than he is to his mother or step-father (not that she’d met them either).
“Well, if you’re free on Friday, maybe you can come to dinner with me and Elizaveta, finally meet her,” Luda suggests.
“Bad luck,” he tells her with a shake of his head, “I’m taking Alina to Balakirev this weekend for an art festival and we have to leave on Friday morning. Perhaps next time.”
“Sure,” she smiles, “I hope you’ll have a good time.”
He nods and absentmindedly kisses her cheek, and then his phone rings and he answers it immediately, “hello, darling … no, I’m not busy, Linka … mmm … of course … well, no …”
He gives her an apologetic shrug as he stands and walks away to his bedroom, the door closing softly behind him and muffling the sound of his voice.
He only ever calls her by her name. She’s only ever Luda, not darling or any other kind of pet name.
Does that mean something, or is she making mountains out of molehills?
Luda is coming out of work when a dark-haired blur slams straight into her.
She screams as she loses her balance, teetering precariously at the top of some steep steps.
Luckily, a passerby grabs hold of her arm, steadying her and saving her from a nasty fall.
She looks in the direction the dark-haired woman went, churlish about the fact that they didn’t even say sorry for bumping her.
They’re gone, though, and so she just thanks her saviour profusely and is grateful that she avoided a broken leg, or worse.
She’s persuaded Aleksander to take a dance class with her.
It’s so much fun, twirling around the floor with him, giggling when she makes a funny misstep.
Aleksander never puts a foot wrong, practically perfect.
“I learned for my mother’s wedding,” he admits, “Alina and I practiced together for weeks. She’s a whizz at the quickstep.”
Luda’s smile becomes strained. Why is it that everything always seems to come back to Alina?
She tries to put it out of her mind. After all, Aleksander is so enthusiastic about this, much more than any other man she’s dated. She really should take advantage of that.
Still, it lingers in her mind.
It’s their five-month anniversary and they’re going out to dinner at The Grand Palace, a new restaurant that Luda wants to try.
She’s hoping to use this meal as a time for them to have a proper conversation about their relationship.
In almost every aspect, Aleksander is an exemplary boyfriend, far kinder and more attentive than her previous boyfriends. Unfortunately, they really need to talk about the elephant in the room.
Alina.
Aleksander just can’t say no to her. He’ll drop everything to run off if she needs him. It’s unhealthy, really. Alina is twenty years old and perfectly capable of looking after herself, after all.
She doesn’t want him to ignore his step-sister, or stop caring about her. Luda just wants to know that she’s a priority for him.
Thinking it best to leave the talk until they’re eating dessert – a sweet treat always puts Aleksander in a good mood – Luda tries to let herself relax as they eat the rest of their meal.
And then, half-way through their main course …
“Sasha! I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”
Luda turns to see Alina there, wearing a black jumpsuit and sky-high heels, her lips painted red and her golden skin seeming to glow. Next to her is a handsome young man in his early twenties with perfectly-styled blond hair, who is eyeing Aleksander with some trepidation.
Aleksander stands so fast that his chair scrapes noisily over the floor, “Linka, a word … now.”
Alina looks delighted as her step-brother drags her over to the door that leads to the restaurant’s beautiful little garden, and Luda feels her stomach sink – so much for the talk she was going to have with Aleksander.
The blond man drops down into Aleksander’s vacated seat and shoots her a sympathetic look before reaching out to shake her hand, “Nikolai Lantsov.”
“Luda Agafonova.”
“How long have you and Aleksander been together.”
“Five months today,” she says with a little sigh.
Nikolai pats her hand, “don’t feel too bad, you’ve lasted longer than anyone else.”
Luda looks up, “what –?”
He tilts his head in the direction of the door. Luda can see Aleksander and Alina talking together, one of his hands cupping her cheek, the other holding onto one of her hands.
“Look,” he says, “I’m going to be honest, you’re fighting a losing battle here. My family has known Aleksander’s for years, since before his mom married Alina’s dad. He’s the perfect guy on paper, but he’s never going to care about another woman more than he loves Alina.”
“She’s his step-sister,” Luda whispers, “surely he could love someone differently – I know he wants a family.”
Another sympathetic look, one that makes Luda want to scream, “I think we both know that Aleksander doesn’t love Alina like a sister. Just like she doesn’t consider him a brother.”
Luda bites her lip, looks down at her plate so Nikolai can’t see the tears in the corners of her eyes.
Is she a fool for having held on this long, so sure she could make it work?
“I … strange things have happened sometimes,” she admits, “messages that don’t get passed on, loads of spam messages on my phone, getting arrested for breaking and entering. Is it … is it crazy of me to think Alina is responsible for that?”
Nikolai snorts, “it isn’t crazy. It’s likely, I’m afraid to say. Alina … she’s funny and witty and generous and talented, but she’s kind of batshit possessive when it comes to Aleksander. She invited me to dinner to talk about using my family’s summer home for an artist’s retreat, but she was very insistent that we come to this particular restaurant at a very specific time.”
“She wanted to run into us,” Luda concludes.
He nods, “she and I dated for five minutes when she was a freshman. It was a casual, open thing, and Alina really wasn’t invested at all, but when Aleksander spotted me with Zoya – she’s my fiancée now – during one of his visits to see Alina, he thought I was cheating and gave me two black eyes. We got over it, but seeing her out with me is a guaranteed way to wind him up.”
“Surely he’s worked out that she’s doing it on purpose. Why doesn’t he just tell her to stop?”
Nikolai shakes his head, “ah, you haven’t realised yet.”
“Haven’t realised what?”
She knows she sounds tetchy and defensive, but she just wants the truth.
“Aleksander is totally aware of what Alina is doing,” Nikolai tells her, “with this, tonight, but also with all that other shit she’s pulled. He likes it.”
“No … I –” she protests.
“I’m sorry, Luda,” Nikolai looks at her with pity, “but that’s how they work. They react to each other – she dates someone and he makes their life a living nightmare, then he dates someone in retaliation and she ruins it, like a cycle of chaos. It’s dysfunctional as hell, really.”
“But … why? It’s not illegal for step-siblings to date or marry. Messed up, maybe,” she says, before adding bitterly, “although that seems to be their thing.”
Nikolai shrugs, “I’ve got a theory, though it could be wrong. Alina was thirteen and Aleksander twenty-one when their parents got married, and they were a bit younger than that when they met each other. They’ve always been close, but this element of possible romantic attachment came later. The problem is that they don’t seem to have realised it, and they’re trying to operate within their initial dynamic, only now it’s worse because they both have … urges. So, one tries to date and the other can’t stand it, and it’s like a vicious circle. They’d probably be a therapist or psychologist’s wet dream, really.”
For a few moments, Luda is totally silent.
And then she laughs, loud enough that a few of the other patrons turn to look at her with wide eyes.
She’s an idiot.
Luda could kick herself for her stupidity.
Ignoring all the warning signs, Aleksander’s charm and his perfect boyfriend act persuading her to overlook how uncomfortable she’s been at certain points during the time they’ve dated.
Not just his relationship with Alina, but also those moments that she now realises were Aleksander almost playing with her, as if she’s simply a pawn in his plan.
She stands before she even realises what she’s doing.
Nikolai looks intrigued, staying quiet but watching with interest as she storms towards the garden.
Aleksander and Alina are whispering to each other, half entwined together, totally oblivious to the world around them.
“Just. Kiss. Already,” she hisses at them, nails digging into the flesh of her palm, a welcome pain.
They look up, almost identical quizzical expressions.
“I am not your fucking toy,” she adds, anger and exhaustion bleeding through.
She’s not normally one for swearing, but she thinks this situation certainly warrants it.
Aleksander’s dark eyes watch her like she’s some kind of fascinating specimen. Alina actually seems impressed with her, for the first time ever.
“I am not your toy,” Luda repeats, even more firmly.
She turns to Aleksander, “don’t call me, don’t contact me, just leave me alone … and both of you get some fucking therapy.”
She turns on her heel without waiting for a response.
Stopping at the table just long enough to collect her bag, Nikolai looks at her with awe, “did you really –”
“I don’t know why no one has ever just told them to stop playing around,” she grumbles in irritation.
The idea seems a totally foreign one to the blond man – was this group of friends a little bit dumb, or perhaps just as weird as Aleksander and Alina?
“Goodbye, Nikolai,” she says, “I really hope I never see you again.”
She calls Elizaveta as she’s waiting for her Uber.
What she really needs right now is her best friend and a lot of alcohol.
Two months later, Luda dares to look on Alina’s Instagram page.
And there, in a post dated one week previously, is a picture in artistic black and white.
One large hand that she knows is Aleksander’s, with a smaller hand that must be Alina’s – adorned with a gorgeous diamond ring – laid on top. The caption is a simple heart emoji.
It hurts, just a little, even though Luda wishes it didn’t.
If life were fair, she wouldn’t feel anything for the man who had used her in a cruel game just because he and his step-sister didn’t know how to deal with their feelings for each other.
However, life is very often not fair. Part of her misses Aleksander – his intelligent conversation, witty commentary, warm smiles.
Luda wonders if they’ve gone to therapy.
She wonders if their games are at an end, now they’ve finally admitted the truth about their feelings. Or perhaps it’s engrained too deeply, maybe he flirts with a random woman just to see how she’ll react, or she gets coffee with a boy from one of her classes because she likes it when he’s riled up.
She wonders if they even realise quite how disturbing their behaviour is, or if they think it’s normal to be so possessively, protectively obsessive about another person.
Luda wonders … and then she puts it out of her mind.
She has her own life to live.