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Essek stepped out into the cool evening air, cringing against the oily slick that wrapped around his stomach and threatened to bubble up into his throat. Ludinus Da’leth has a way of leaving one with that feeling, he groused. The storm of guilt and fear that threatened to swallow Essek’s mind hung low on nights like these. To make matters worse, he had used enough of his arcane reserves, between teleporting to Rexxentrum and fiddling with the beacon, that he couldn’t go home right away. Essek didn’t frequent taverns in his own city, where he had the right name to get into any bar he liked and a comfortable home to return to, and now he was traipsing down the cobblestone street - cobblestone in the very center of the capitol? Fucking primitive - looking for a place to spend a few hours recovering his capacity.
Something didn’t feel right.
Essek maintained his purposeful stride but scanned his field of vision, searching for the source of his unease. Nothing immediately came to his attention and he probed the feeling further, walking now without paying much mind to selecting a place to rest. It was an unfamiliar feeling, not like the feeling of paranoia, not the feeling he was being watched-
He wasn’t being watched.
The realization hit Essek like a runaway horse and he stopped dead in the street, staring at his reflection in a shiny shop window. Alien large brown eyes set into a stranger’s face stared back at him, and dark hair twisted into a myriad of thin locs crowned his head, wrapped neatly in a bun. It’s funny, he thought. Though he disguised himself as a human, there were still traces of himself in his reflection. His dark skin still felt familiar, even in an entirely different shade; he’d coiled his new hair up without a second thought, the way he used to when he lived in his mother’s house and didn’t yet dare to cut off his braids.
As he examined himself, the cobbler who owned the shop peered suspiciously at him through the window. When Essek broke out of his reverie, the woman furrowed her brow at him and tilted her head, as if to ask why he staring into her shop while she closed. Essek backed up quickly, right into a teenage girl, who scoffed and shoved him away.
“Watch where you’re going!”
She wore the red belted sash of a Soltryce Academy student and stalked off before Essek could apologize, without even looking back at him.
He wasn’t being watched. He wasn’t being recognized. People weren’t whispering behind their hands to one another while they pretended not to notice him. At home, a schoolgirl would have been apologizing to him for his clumsiness, not shoving him like a street urchin. Even if he hadn’t been in disguise, he would draw attention only as a drow, nobody knew him.
Essek Thelyss was nobody here.
Essek let out a deep breath as his shoulders dropped a full inch from where he’d been holding them.
He walked aimlessly for a long time, drinking in the sights and sounds of the city, basking in the glorious anonymity that wrapped him in his own bubble of invulnerability and made the streets themselves shine like gold. The neat stone buildings and their homey touches, a rose bush here, a symbol of Pelor over the door there, were endlessly curious. He inspected piles of shiny eggplants - he didn’t even like eggplant - and bundles of leafy celery on sidewalk stalls, and meandered past shop windows, just gazing at platters of beautifully decorated cakes and pastries - and he didn’t even like sweets either - and heaps of colorful exotic spices and imported teas, with their heady fragrance wafting onto the street.
When he started to get hungry, Essek stepped through the door of a quaint stone tavern, a thrill tickling down his spine. A well-crafted rosewood bar stretched across one length of the room, and Essek glanced around automatically, searching for familiar faces or the eyes of his Umavi, before he remembered there were none. Nobody even spared a glance at him. Thank the fucking gods.
Essek slid into a seat at the bar and ordered himself food and drink, and took a few minutes to people-watch. He felt like a zoologist observing the dynamics of a complex primate collective. The blue-eyed man in the corner was apparently successfully charming his date, because he put his hand on their leg while they spoke and they allowed it. Across the way, an older man with thinning, faded auburn hair was loudly explaining the specifics of his recent back troubles to a young woman who had an identical aquiline nose and was trying hard to pay attention. Two women, a human and a halfling, were in the middle of a hushed but intense argument near the fireplace, but Essek couldn’t hear the subject over the clatter of dishes and mugs and the babble of talk at the bar.
When was the last time he did something like this? Essek considered the question as he took an experimental bite of rich, unfamiliar Empire food. Soup was plenty familiar, but this one had large dumplings filled with beef, and a slick of grease coated his spoon when he dipped it into the broth. Strange. Had he ever done something like this? It was quite possible, Essek mused as he scanned his memory, that there had never been a time in his life when he felt free from the prying eyes of high society, his mother in particular, and the pedestal he was expected to stay on in the eyes of the common class. The risk of the scandal and gossip that threatened should he ever fail to do so was enough to keep him in line at home.
“Hallo there.” Essek glanced up from his soup and saw a man standing in front of him, leaning against the bar. He had beautiful gray eyes and straight hair that cut off at his chin, a rich chestnut brown that brought out the slight suntan in his skin. He was tall - though just about every damn person around here seemed tall to Essek - and lanky, and looked to be in his mid-twenties.
“…Ah, hello,” Essek replied. Apparently, the man wasn’t just greeting him to be polite before he sat down nearby, because he stood there for a beat after Essek spoke. Essek raised an eyebrow.
“Is there a problem?”
“There is a bit of a problem, actually,” the man sighed, a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. “Two, in fact. See, I’ve just ordered a bottle of wine, and I can hardly drink it all by myself. That’s for one. To make matters worse, your glass appears to be empty. It’s one crisis on top of another. But, good news, I think we might be able to solve two problems at once.”
Essek wasn’t easily charmed, but he couldn’t help a small smile at that. It was clearly rehearsed, but it was cute, and a little clever, and he was in a good mood tonight. The man grinned and put his hand out.
“Klaus. Is that face you taking me up on my offer?”
Essek considered saying no, sending Klaus away and retreating into the safety of his solitude. Instead, he smiled back at him.
“…Yes, alright.”
Klaus was in no way the type of man Essek would normally consider, if he were even in a mind to date back home. He never went to school, and grew up on his father’s merchant ship, where he now served as the boatswain. He was here on leave, spending a month in the big city. They didn’t have a single thing in common, not even according to Essek’s hastily constructed story: that he was a traveling purchaser, in charge of acquisitions for a wealthy noblewoman who collected fine art. Still, the unusual evening made him permissive, and he was enjoying Klaus’s colorful stories about his years of travel, so Essek let him stay. He was surprised to find himself enjoying the flirting. Essek Thelyss was terrible at flirting, far too guarded to open himself up even in the small, transient flashes of vulnerability one had to accept in order to flirt well. But there was nothing real about “Sumar”, and as such he was much better at flirting than Essek.
Maybe it was the gentle nudge of the alcohol, or the exhilaration of his first night of real independence in over 120 years, but when the wine was long finished and the tavern was growing quiet, and Klaus put his hand on Essek’s knee and leaned in to ask if he wanted to come upstairs, Essek found himself saying yes.
Essek wasn’t particularly sexually attracted to Klaus, but he was friendly and seemed safe enough, and Essek wanted to have sex. Attraction was optional for sex, in Essek’s opinion. Your eyes are closed half the time anyway. Verin had once referred to Essek’s hookup habits as “complicated masturbation” and Essek wasn’t sure that was fair, but neither was it entirely incorrect. He just…had high standards. At least that’s what he told Verin, who could not honestly be said to possess any such thing.
To his surprise, the sex was good. Klaus was skilled with his hands, he took his time - highly necessary, it turned out, for Essek’s first human cock - and made sure Essek was thoroughly pleased. He even kissed Essek goodnight before he fell asleep. Essek left as soon as Klaus was out; he also paid for the room on his way out, a little gift to Klaus for capping off his evening so nicely.
For weeks, Essek let that evening carry his spirit - not only the thrill of a one-night stand, but the buoying glow of real freedom after decades of living in a gilded cage. And he itched to have another.
Essek started returning to the Empire with some regularity, to meet with the odious Da’leth or worse, that liver-spotted snake who sat on the Assembly with him. Every time he left one of those meetings, the oily, bilious feeling in his gut only grew. The dread that threatened to consume him would start pulling at the edges of his consciousness, and every time, Essek departed quickly to a tavern to ride the high of freedom and find someone who would fuck him until he couldn’t think anymore.
It started out like that: blowing off rebellious steam, distracting himself from the unease crawling in his veins. Getting off was almost a bonus. Then one night, on a whim, when he effected his disguise he included a tattoo he’d seen on a woman at the bar last time, a subtle cat paw on the side of her index finger. Essek didn’t have a tattoo, nor had he ever wanted one, but the tiny defiant thrill of a silly tattoo was hard to resist. Within twenty minutes of sitting down he had an invitation to join a handsome, strapping man upstairs, and it wasn’t until they were alone and he started negotiating a price that Essek understood the situation. But…sex was sex, wasn’t it? Essek wasn’t any more or less attracted to this stranger than he had been any other stranger he’d slept with in this city. And this was so simple, none of the flirting or the bullshit or the dance.
The money was paltry, a tiny sum to Essek, and on his way out, he gave it to a beggar who was slumped over in the alley next to the tavern. He wasn’t a whore if he didn’t keep the money, he reasoned. Even the symbol he wore on his hand didn’t make him a whore, it wasn’t permanent, it wasn’t real. It was just too easy to pick up men this way and get right to what he wanted with none of the fuss.
It wasn’t always dignified or neat. On his third visit to the Empire after he learned about this little trick, he flirted shamelessly with the first man who approached him, but there was no room available at the inn. They agreed to find another tavern, but as soon as they were out on the sidewalk, the man tugged him by the sleeve into the alley next to the inn. Essek just had one of his tensest meetings with Da’leth and Ikithon yet, so he gladly let the man pull him into the shadows and shove him to his knees on the ground.
After a quick, messy blowjob, the man yanked him to his feet and suddenly had him pressed between the wall and his body, pushing Essek’s cheek against the cool stone. When he pressed in - thank the gods Essek had the wherewithal to yank a bottle of oil from his Wristpocket and thrust it into the man’s hand - Essek trembled and groaned, and his sounds drew the attention of a nearby Crownsguard. The guard peered into the alley and made eye contact with Essek, and hot, tantalizing shame swelled up in him as a smirk spread over the man’s face. A Crownsguard, an omnipresent symbol of the Empire, watching him enjoy this rough, degrading treatment - gods, and if he only knew- was he getting hard under his uniform? Would he pleasure himself thinking about this later? Essek, flushed and panting, held the guard’s gaze as he was thrust up against the wall until the pressure between his legs was too much to bear. He wrapped a spit-slick hand around himself and stroked with feverish desperation, and all it took was an expectant look from his audience to push him over the edge. He lost sight of the Crownsguard as he pressed his face into his bicep, retreating against the burning humiliation and explosive release of his orgasm. The man behind him groaned and slammed his hips into Essek, overstimulating him to the precipice of pain, and Essek gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut harder - thankfully the tight embrace of Essek’s body forced his climax, and he pulled out and finished, splashing over Essek’s ass and thighs. When Essek opened his eyes, sighing with relief, the Crownsguard was gone, but a molten pool of excitement and embarrassment bubbled in his stomach.
Essek still never kept the money. The little sleight of hand, passing it off to someone on the street, let him tell himself this was a no-fuss way to get what he wanted, no more, no less. Not everything has to be complicated.
On this particular evening, his meeting with Da’leth was in Zadash, a quaint town south of Rexxentrum, because Ludinus was making a bulk acquisition of potions. He said they were for his private stock, but Essek wasn’t stupid. The war was ramping up; the Assembly was going further afield now for its supplies. Interesting. A gift of intelligence he could make to his queen, a token of his loyalty. A fig leaf over his nakedness. For once, Essek left Ludinus without the acidic burble in his throat that had become an expected but unwelcome guest on these occasions, and went to find a haunt for the evening.
An hour later, Essek sat at the bar in a simple but spacious tavern, and was trying very hard to follow the stream of consciousness spilling from the very enthusiastic young woman who approached him nearly ten minutes ago.
“…So do you think you can do that?” She beamed up at him hopefully with wide blue eyes.
She is disarmingly charming. He’d been prepared to dismiss her when she started talking; it was rare enough for women to approach him, and even if he did sleep with women, he thought he would probably prefer one who was less…this.
“Ah, yes, I think I can,” Essek replied. Her smile broadened and she bounced on her toes as she reached into her coin purse. A twinge of guilt tugged at Essek’s heart when he saw her fishing around - are you really going to take her money? - but she pressed ten gold into his palm and patted it.
“I don’t know how long it’ll be so there’s extra. My other friend - she’s the one in yellow who like, came up to the bar earlier? - split it with me so keep the change. I feel like, you know, the hrnph-hrnph part-“ She supplied an entirely unnecessary and evocative hand gesture, “-will be kind of short ‘cause like, I think it’s kind of been a while? But you never know I guess.” She shrugged and beamed. “I did buy him a porn book earlier so maybe he’ll have some endurance now, ifyouknowwhatimean. Just like…he needs to relax a little, y’know?”
“I understand,” Essek murmured, staring intently into his whiskey. “I will retire upstairs shortly.” If she kept talking, it would be sooner rather than later. She really needs to learn when to end a sentence.
“Okay, great!” The woman beamed and clapped her hands together. “Also, I totally got him to take a bath, so, you’re welcome. But don’t go up, like, too soon okay? So they don’t see? ‘Cause technically it’s a surprise.”
Essek resisted the urge to raise his eyebrows at her. This wasn’t really the kind of thing one ought to do as a surprise. But they did things differently here, and she said she bought her friend a book of pornography, so perhaps the friendship was more complicated than she let on. The bartender marched over and pushed a glass of off-yellow liquid toward Essek’s strange benefactor.
“Arright, I finally found the milk,” they grumbled, stomping off. The woman’s tail whipped behind her in excitement as she picked up the glass of what looked like pure cream and bounded off with a little wave to Essek.
Essek studied his glass for a long few moments before glancing up to see where she went off to. It didn’t take long - her group was far from discreet. Unease started to knot around Essek’s stomach. He liked this because it was uncomplicated, quick, simple. Getting involved even in such a small way with the loud group sitting around the table in the back seemed like the opposite of that. As he watched, though, Essek found himself curious, wondering who she was doing this for.
His eyes were drawn first to the firbolg, tall and lanky, sipping from a steaming mug with a contented smile. No, somehow Essek didn’t think he was the one who “needed to relax”. The man next to him was broad-shouldered, of orcish descent by his mossy green skin. He was a tad more reserved than his friends, tossing in quips here and there while Essek quietly observed, but he mostly just sat back and laughed along. He was handsome and clean-cut, at least. Essek wouldn’t be mad about that. But then he saw the woman who approached him leaning into his arm, touching his shoulder in an obvious and clumsy flirtation. Essek thought the man looked a bit put off, but whether he returned her affection or not, Essek didn’t think she would be paying him to sleep with a man she herself was interested in.
Essek almost didn’t see the third man at the table in the midst of the colorful chaos and boisterous conversation taking place among the rest of the group. His hair hung down in soft waves - freshly washed, perhaps - around his face, and Essek was struck by the color when he leaned into the light. He hadn’t seen many humans with hair like that, and of course among his people, red hair was unknown, at least that which was come by honestly. The man’s beard was the same coppery shade, and it shone in the torchlight like strands of heated gold. Facial hair was still a bit of a novelty to Essek too, though it was common in the Empire. He’d come to like the way it subtly scraped his neck and the inside of his thighs, a subtle reminder of his transgressions for a day or two after he returned home. Maybe he would get to touch the man’s hair. Though quiet and keeping to himself, he had a handsome, soft smile on his face as he watched his friends, bantering and giggling and talking over each other. He nursed a tankard and fidgeted with the hems of his sleeves, digging imaginary dirt from under his fingernails. Essek suspected this was the man the little woman and her friend thought needed to unwind. He certainly looked like he was perpetually waiting to exhale.
Satisfied, Essek paid the bartender for the whole bottle of whiskey and asked for glasses to take up to the room she had given him the key for. It was exactly what he expected, sparse, but for a few personal belongings strewn about. A patched and threadbare coat hung on the back door, and the room’s only chair was positioned near the crackling fireplace, at a cautious distance, hung with freshly washed white cloth bandages. The room had been occupied for a few days, it seemed, and the bed was tousled and unmade. There was a beat-up canvas pack in a corner, and Essek itched to inspect it, just to see. But he beat down his insatiable curiosity and went to the mirror instead.
When he visited the Empire, Essek tried to choose different forms to avoid becoming recognizable anywhere. Tonight, he looked like a petite, attractive man in Essek’s best impression of a human’s late twenties, with storm-gray eyes, pale skin and straight black hair, parted on the side. He happened to like his own elegant nose and prominent cheekbones, so he kept them, confident that he looked different enough from himself that even someone who knew him still wouldn’t place him. On his left index finger, just above the knuckle, a tiny cat’s paw inked in black. No inconsistencies, no blemishes.
Satisfied with his disguise, Essek laid down on the bed and flicked open his Wristpocket to retrieve his book and some oil for the nightstand - best to have it on hand, he’d learned - and poured himself a healthy serving of whiskey. He’d been paid to do worse. The pillows carried a faint scent, warm and spicy, like peppercorn and cardamom tea, and Essek wondered if it was from the man or the soap used to wash the linens. It was relaxing, actually, the kind of thing he always thought he ought to do at home but never allowed himself. But his mind kept wandering to the person who had been staying here, the man he was supposed to entertain this evening, and what he might be like. His group didn’t seem too light on coin for common people, though nothing in this room, from the coat to the reused bandages, spoke of wealth; he could be an ascetic sort, but he didn’t seem as serious as all that when Essek was watching him from the bar. There was a quiet contemplation about him, he thought, but his friends bought him pornography and hired…well, someone they assumed to be a whore. Essek didn’t engage that thought any further and flipped to a new page in his book.
His plan was to put the book back in his Wristpocket and be ready when he heard footsteps, but, lost in his reading after nearly an hour of waiting, he found himself scrambling upright when a cacophony of stomping feet and overlapping voices came barreling down the hallway.
“…know about this, Jester-“
“-for you, just relax-”
“...Nott is staying with us for like a girls’ night-“
“So don’t even worry about it!”
“I’d really prefer to go to bed…”
“-sooo good, you’re going to totally love it-“
“It’s for all of us, if anybody around here really needs to get-“
“You’re gonna spoil the surprise, Beau!”
The door slammed open and a man stumbled inside like he’d been shoved, just as Essek managed to toss his book aside and sit up primly, smoothing wrinkles out of his clothes.
“Have fun! Don’t keep us awake!”
“I already paid! See you in the morning, Cay-leb!”
The man - Caleb? - froze, staring at Essek with an unreadable expression, and Essek’s stomach dropped. The room was silent for a long moment as the tittering group hurried off behind the closed door.
“I didn’t think I was as hideous as all that,” Essek joked weakly to break the silence. That seemed to jolt Caleb out of his shock, because he shook his head quickly.
“No! No, not at all, I’m sorry, I just - ah, this was a bit-“ Caleb swallowed hard and his gaze dragged over Essek slowly. “Unexpected.”
Essek nodded slowly, and reached over to the nightstand where he left the empty glass and whiskey bottle.
“Drink?”
“I…” Caleb fidgeted and ran a hand through his hair. “Um…my friends put you up to this?” Essek raised a graceful eyebrow.
“If by ‘put me up to this’, you mean ‘paid me to sleep with you’, then yes, they did.”
The poor man was blushing redder than Ruidus, and Essek took pity on him. Fuck, he really wanted to get laid tonight, but this man was a mess and…it didn’t seem right to just leave him. Essek could stay and keep him a little company. The night was young. He didn’t always have to be an asshole.
“We don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do,” Essek said softly, mindful of a possible audience beyond the door. “Your friend paid me for the night. That’s yours to do what you want with it. If you just want to have a drink with me…” Essek held up the whiskey bottle. “A drink can just be a drink, Caleb. I doubt they’re going to let me leave so soon, so you may as well.”
Caleb hesitated, but finally nodded. He stepped over to the chair by the fire and felt the bandages, but even Essek could see they were still damp.
“Ah, sorry, the chair is…may I sit with you?” Essek gestured to the other side of the bed and passed Caleb his drink.
“It’s your bed, really, I ought to be asking you that.”
“Well you seem to have made yourself quite at home,” Caleb murmured, and Essek thought there was a little sharpness on his tongue, but when he looked up, Caleb didn’t look angry. He was even smiling slightly, if a little shy.
“I wouldn’t have had to if your friends didn’t take their sweet time getting you up here,” Essek retorted with a grin, and clinked his glass against Caleb’s. Caleb rolled his eyes behind his glass.
“They’re fucking meddlers, all of them.”
“They seem to think you need to loosen up a little, though,” Essek observed. He reclined against the headboard and Caleb leaned back against the footboard, facing him. “Why’s that?”
Caleb grimaced and Essek noticed for the first time the leather straps that circled his chest, holding two books on either side of him. One looked old and worn, the other, a bit browbeaten but obviously cared for meticulously otherwise.
“We’ll be here all night getting into that… I’m sorry, my friends shocked my manners right out of me. I didn’t ask your name.”
“Lajos,” Essek lied smoothly, and Caleb’s brow furrowed in thought.
“That’s lovely…unusual, here. Is that Sylvan, originally? Your accent is…Concordian?” An educated man, then, or at least a well-read one, though his assessment of Essek’s lilt was off. Essek’s interest perked up at the possibility of a good conversation partner.
“It is Sylvan in origin, but I hail from the coast,” Essek supplied. Caleb grasped onto the conversational thread like a lifeline.
“Oh! My friend is from Nicrodranas, I haven’t been but, ah, I’d like to, one day. What brought you to Zadash, then?”
Essek hesitated for a split second - not many men asked all these questions, now that he was masquerading as a prostitute, and his previous go to, the art procurer, wouldn’t pass muster without more explanation.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb said quickly, and blushed slightly as he dropped his gaze into his glass. “I shouldn’t be asking you all these personal questions. It’s not polite, in these sorts of…encounters, I don’t think.”
“You don’t think?” Essek repeated, feigning surprise. “Is this your first time? You’re so at ease, you might have fooled me.”
Caleb flushed again. Essek was starting to find it endearing.
“Ah…yes, this is new to me. I have nothing against it, really, I just…have had a lot of other things going on. Sex hasn’t been high priority.” Well, Essek could certainly relate to that.
“Perhaps those other things are what your friends think you need to put aside for a little while,” Essek suggested. Pot, meet kettle. Caleb shrugged.
“Ja, that is probably why they think that.” Not quite an agreement, not quite a disagreement.
“You know, you can ask me anything you like,” Essek murmured, swirling the liquor in his glass. He glanced up at Caleb with a wry smile. “As long as you choose to believe my answers are honest.” Caleb grinned, a real, genuine smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. A handsome smile that Essek wanted to see again.
“I will - if you do the same.”
Essek met his eyes and a surprising bolt of heat passed between them, the first mote of possibility he’d felt since Caleb walked in here. The moment passed as quickly as it bloomed, but quiet static lingered in the air.
Caleb’s gaze landed on the book Essek left on the nightstand and furrowed his brow.
“Is that yours?”
“Yes, my apologies,” Essek said, and snatched it up. “Your friend told me to wait, so…” Caleb shook his head.
“No need to apologize, I take my books with me to the dinner table. What are you reading?”Caleb tilted his head and squinted at the spine. “Evocation and…”
Fuck. Essek gave a blasé smile and placed it carefully behind him.
“Oh, just a little book I picked up about, ah, the basics of spellcasting,” he lied. “I was just curious about it, I have no facility with the arcane myself.” Caleb’s face lit up and he sat up straighter. Now that they were talking magic, he looked confident for the first time tonight.
“Are you interested in magic?”
Please. Essek groaned internally. He had no desire to listen to even this exceptionally handsome man go on about cantrips and the runic alphabet.
“As a layman,” Essek demurred. “I don’t think I have the head for such things.” Caleb shook his head quickly and scooted closer, unbuckling one of his books.
“It’s really very easy, anyone could do it,” Caleb assured him, and Essek bristled at that. No, most certainly not anyone could do it, not beyond the level of a common street performer. Caleb settled in next to him, shoulder pressing against his, and Essek leaned slightly into the warmth of the touch. Stretching his long legs out in front of them, Caleb pulled out the leather bound book and started leafing through it.
“See, this is just from a year or so of study - well, my second round, anyway-“
“So you’re a student?” Essek asked. Caleb’s smile - such a nice smile - faltered.
“…I was,” he replied, after a pregnant silence. “In my youth. And then I…stepped away from it for a little while. I have had to start from the beginning again, but it goes a little faster the second time around. I’ve mostly pieced things together that I’ve found in books, or deconstructed them if I’ve seen them cast…”
As he flipped through the pages, Essek could clearly identify the progress in his transcription: cleaner, clearer lines, more confident strokes, and he was surprised to see some remarkably complex spells toward the end. That pace was quite accomplished for just a year, if Caleb was being honest about his timeline, and he didn’t see a good reason for Caleb to lie. And acquiring this much knowledge through pilfering scraps and reverse-engineering? Essek was not impressed, not exactly. He felt more like he was seeing a child who wasn’t his own take her first steps. A mild sense of superiority: watching the baby stumble before plopping down on her diapered bottom made him realize just how accomplished he was, not just walking or running but floating with ease, something she couldn’t even conceptualize while she struggled to take a few steps. Caleb pointed to one of the first spells in the book.
“I taught this one to my friend. She has no arcane training and she picked it up just like that. She doesn’t even need the book. See, these circles and runes are sort of shorthand, so it’s like learning another language…”
Essek sipped his whiskey and patiently let Caleb explain the basics of his own craft to him. The man was so earnest, and so encouraging of his feigned curiosity. What would normally grate on him as condescension was instead…almost sweet. You’re going soft.
“Are you a teacher?” Essek asked, when Caleb finally took a breath. Caleb smiled softly, and a hint of sadness touched his blue eyes again. Curiosity tugged at Essek’s attention. What is that all about?
“No, we’re mercenaries. Mostly killing monsters for money. But maybe someday.”
He turned back to his spellbook and his explanations and Essek had to resist the urge to begin a lecture of his own when Caleb pointed to a half finished circle that Essek immediately recognized as Leomund’s Tiny Hut and said,
“I feel like I’m on the verge of something with this one,” Caleb explained, leaning closer into Essek’s shoulder. “I’ve seen bits and pieces in, ah, others’ spell books and a stray manual here and there, but I just…can’t figure out this last quadrant. I think it would be useful for our group, seeing we travel so much, it seems like a protective…sphere, almost? See, that’s what I like about the craft, though, it’s like a puzzle. Once you crack it, it feels…amazing.”
He glanced over at Essek and froze, as if he just now realized how close he was. His eyes drifted to Essek’s mouth and he stared for a long, drawn out second- and then blushed fiercely, shifting away slightly. Essek itched to take the book out of his hands and finish the transcription for him, but that would completely blow his cover. Still…
“Do you think the abjuration runes need to be inscribed on both sides of the corona?” he suggested gently. “To prevent entry and exit, of, ah…magical effects or…” Essek searched his brain for something obviously incorrect. “…A-animals?” Animals?! Youngest Shadowhand in the history of the Dynasty. Animals.
Caleb frowned and turned the book sideways, humming.
“…I think you might be right, actually.”
“Just read about that kind of thing in my book,” Essek lied quickly. “Fresh in the mind, I suppose.”
Caleb examined his face carefully, and Essek’s heart pounded in his ears. He wasn’t sure Caleb still believed he was as much of a novice as he made himself out to be, but if he had his doubts, he seemed to remember their agreement and chose to believe him.
“Well, I may have to get that title from you, then. Thank you.”
There was more Caleb was missing from his equation, but Essek couldn’t possibly comment further without stretching the limits of believability. He unclenched his jaw, set hard with the effort of biting his tongue.
“You have a number of fascin- fascinating-looking spells in here. What’s your favorite?” Essek asked instead, and dared to let his hand alight on Caleb’s forearm. Caleb flinched at first, but relaxed into the touch and didn’t push his hand away. Essek smiled, encouraging. Best to move this into the much safer territory of flirting and sex.
“Ah…one I can show you without blowing the roof off?” Caleb asked with a cheeky grin.
“Preferably,” Essek chuckled. Caleb glanced up at the ceiling and four amber globes, like the levitating lanterns in the Lucid Bastion, appeared in the air.
“This is a simple one, but I use it a lot,” he sighed, staring up at them with a fond smile. The light cast him in a warm, firelit glow, bringing out the brilliance of his hair and the light flush of alcohol in his cheeks.
“I imagine it comes in handy, hunting monsters,” Essek purred, rubbing his thumb along the inside of Caleb’s arm.
“Ja, or reading in the dark. Or…you know, mood lighting.” He glanced over at Essek with a knowing smile that raised surprising heat in Essek’s belly.
“I can see how that might be useful,” Essek murmured.
“Could be a good one to learn, for you, I mean. People pay extra for that sort of thing, I think. …Is that gauche to say?”
Essek didn’t know the word “gauche”, but he thought he intuited Caleb’s meaning.
“I don’t think so,” he said with a shrug. “Not to me and that’s all that matters.”
There was a pause and Essek waited, heart pounding. Most men loved talking about themselves, once you got them going. Essek didn’t know how to deal with someone who wanted to talk, but clearly about anything but himself. Caleb gestured to Essek’s empty glass.
“We’ve had our drinks, if you wanted to go.” Essek’s stomach curled up in a mildly offended ball.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked. “I know this wasn’t exactly your choosing.” Caleb sighed and lay his hand over Essek’s where it held his arm.
“I don’t want you to go,” Caleb admitted. “I’m enjoying your company quite a lot. But I know this wasn’t your choosing either.” Essek bristled at that.
“Of course it was!” Caleb waved his hand.
“You agreed to fuck me because my friends paid you. You wouldn’t choose me otherwise.” Essek was not at all confident that was true. Especially if he could have gotten to know Caleb as himself, not this made up persona. He seemed like the kind of man Essek - not Lajos, or Sumar, or Kai - might like to know better, clever and curious, with a mind that burned bright behind his eyes.
“So what? I set the terms and I agreed to them,” Essek retorted. Caleb sighed and wiped a hand over his face.
“Of course. I hope you don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that you…I don’t know, that you’re being taken advantage of somehow. Everyone has a price to get them into bed, it’s just not always money. It’s more that…” Caleb chewed on his lip and looked up at the ceiling, recasting his lights. He stared at them as he continued,
“There’ve been times that I agreed to things that I wouldn’t have without some…pressure. I just don’t want there to be pressure.”
“I don’t feel pressured, Caleb,” Essek said gently. Caleb looked back to him and that spark that graced his eyes before, the hint of heat that could blaze up into something more, danced in the amber light.
“I’m telling you what my price is. I am enjoying your company, and I’d like to continue enjoying it, if you feel the same. If you don’t, I want you to go.”
Essek was bewildered by this man. He wanted to be offended (he doesn’t get to demand that, does he?) and he wanted to be touched (no, he’s just nervous and sweet) and he wanted to be frustrated (why can’t we just get to it?!). He was all of those things and he wasn’t any of them. It was so ironic that Caleb didn’t want to fuck him if he only wanted to fuck for the money, when the money was really just a convenient pretext for fucking.
“I want you to want it,” Caleb said quietly, and Essek met his eyes again, burning with intention. Essek’s breath was shallow in his chest.
“I don’t do anything I don’t want to do,” Essek said. Maybe a lie. Maybe not.
“The transaction is done. If you’re here now, it’s because you want to be, ja?”
“As hard as it seems to be for you to believe, I do.” Essek smirked and let his fingertip dance along Caleb’s forearm. He didn’t think he’d had this much conversation with a hookup since Klaus, but with Caleb, it was surprisingly easy.
“And I think if I leave now, it will be a little less satisfying for our audience.”
Caleb’s jaw dropped and he whipped his head around to look behind him at the wall.
“Did you-?”
“I thought I heard something,” Essek said quickly. His ears picked up far more than a human’s did, even when he was disguised like this. He definitely heard the accented woman who approached him at the bar hiss,
“Move your butt, Nott, my foot is falling asleep!”
Caleb put his fingers to his lips and gingerly climbed off the bed, then crept to the wall and placed his ear against it as his eyes searched aimlessly around the room. Essek watched as Caleb’s face registered the hushed conversation he could hear perfectly well from here.
“What’s taking so long?” This voice was screechy and rough. “They’ve been in there for like forty minutes!”
“Keep it down!”
Caleb stepped away from the wall and knocked on it.
“Get out of here, you nosy fucking perverts!” Weirdly, he sounded annoyed, but not all that angry, not like Essek would have been. Was this a normal occurrence? These people also listened to each other fuck?
“We totally weren’t eavesdropping, I promise! I mean only technically!”
“Fine, fine, we’re going!”
For all their protests, they did shuffle off and out the door, or at least that was how it sounded. Essek’s cheeks were hot, thinking of what might have happened had he not heard them-
“Sorry my friends are lunatics,” Caleb sighed, and sat back down on the bed, pouring another finger of whiskey for each of them before reclining back against the pillows.
“That’s alright,” Essek chuckled. He shifted on his knees, slightly facing Caleb, and let a hand rest on his shoulder. “It’s nice to finally be alone.”
The word, and the potential it contained, hung in the air like the mist of arcana gathered in the second before a spell was cast.
“So, you said you’re a reader too, no? What are you reading right now?” Essek asked, letting his thumb drift down to brush Caleb’s collarbone. Only when Caleb blushed fiercely did he remember what the blue woman had said.
“Ah…I am a bit hesitant to show you,” he admitted, and Essek hummed with curiosity.
“I hardly think you have anything you need to be ashamed of around me.” Caleb chuckled.
“That’s a fair point. Alright.”
Caleb left the bed and went to his pack, and when he sat down again with the book in hand, he cozied back up to Essek. When Essek took the book, Caleb’s hand came to rest on his leg. Smooth. He was definitely warming up to Essek and seemed to be expressing interest. Essek turned the book over in his hand and blanched. The Courting of the Crick. Oh gods.
“It’s smutty but the smut isn’t very good,” Caleb warned. “And ah…it’s probably a bit racist. It’s hard to tell.” He could practically hear Verin’s voice in his head. He’s a human from the Empire, what did you expect? Really, brother? You couldn’t get your rocks off at home? Serves you right.
“Hard to tell?” Essek asked dubiously. He started flipping through the book slowly. There was no shortage of racist literature on his side of the border, and he found himself morbidly curious.
“Well…” Caleb hesitated, eyeing him carefully. “I’m not sure the writer had much familiarity with, ah, the peoples of Xhorhas.”
Essek leafed toward the end of the book and stopped in the middle of a scene in which the drow assassin, Halisstra, was tearfully recounting her gratitude to her human lover for rescuing her from the savagery of Xhorhas. Essek scoffed when he read,
“The nobility force everyone to worship one false god, and those who refuse are punished with slavery or worse, public torture and execution…here, a person is free to think as they choose, to worship any of the civilized gods, or none at all…”
“What?” Caleb asked, peering over his shoulder.
“Well, it’s just not true,” Essek blurted out. “The people of Xhorhas aren’t forced to worship the Luxon. And slavery is illegal.”
“The…Luxon?” Caleb repeated, furrowing his brow. Shit. Blood rushed in Essek’s ears.
“That’s what their god is called. I’ve heard.”
“How do you know so much about Xhorhas?” Caleb asked. “Have you been there? I know the Concord still has relations with the Dynasty.” Essek sighed reluctantly to buy himself a few seconds and played with Caleb’s collar. The skin of his throat was soft and warm where Essek let his fingers brush against it.
“Before…I was a procurer of fine art for a wealthy woman in Port Damali,” he said. “I traveled all over the continent to find her pieces, so I did travel there.”
“That’s fascinating,” Caleb breathed. “I’ve always wanted to learn more about it…I wondered about- if you don’t mind my saying, you speak like quite an educated man.”
“As do you, for a sellsword,” Essek murmured behind his glass with just the slightest edge of reproach on his words, and glanced over at Caleb. Remember the deal. Choose to believe my lies and I’ll choose to believe yours. Caleb cleared his throat and sipped his drink, at least seeming appropriately sheepish. Good boy.
“So, um…I take it you are…not a fan of the war, then?”
“No,” Essek answered. “I think the bloodshed is shameful, and both parties would benefit from putting it aside in favor of more cooperation.” He bit his tongue. Criticizing the war was risky here, and he saw Caleb’s surprise in his eyes.
“I…ja, I wish it wasn’t happening. It feels…needless. Ah…my father was a soldier.” Was. Essek noted that silently.
“As was mine,” he said softly. Caleb’s eyes met his and he moved a hand to cover Caleb’s.
“I remember him going off to fight, and not knowing if he’d return,” Caleb explained. “I don’t want that for other children.” Essek’s heart weighed him down, like a stone in his chest. At least you aren’t the reason he didn’t come back, he thought bitterly.
“Enough of politics, though,” Caleb chuckled, obviously self-conscious about Essek’s pensive silence. “Tell me more about you. Is this your side job?”
“No,” Essek laughed. “I lost the position. I was…foolish. I made mistakes.” Honesty, for once.
“Ah, well, the rich don’t tend to be forgiving of those who make mistakes with their money.”
“No, they don’t. I was…overconfident…and neglected to authenticate a piece she wanted quite badly. The gamble didn’t pay off.”
“Do you think you’ll return to it?” Caleb asked.
“Perhaps,” Essek demurred. He fingered a strand of Caleb’s hair; it was soft and silky as he hoped when he first saw him across the room. The whiskey was making him a little loose, and Essek stretched one leg out into Caleb’s lap.
“I quite like getting paid to spend time with handsome men, though.” Caleb blushed slightly and rested his hand on Essek’s calf, silently welcoming the contact.
“I should let you get back to it, then,” he joked, and Essek rolled his eyes with an amused smile.
“Very funny. So yes, I can say with some confidence that this is, at minimum, a bit racist.”
“Disappointing, but unsurprising. You know, it’s banned here,” Caleb said. Essek furrowed his brow.
“Really? I would have thought such a message would be…politically desirable.”
“Ah, it would be, in the absence of the romance. The protagonists are in the military, no less, so I’m sure the powers that be just about had a fit over that.”
“At least there’s sex,” Essek tried. Politics, especially the war, especially the war he helped cause, was not doing much for his arousal. Caleb chuckled.
“Technically, yes. But the sex scenes are…” Caleb shook his head and flipped to one. He cleared his throat dramatically and looked over at Essek with a smile.
“Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging his organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey…”
“Good gods,” Essek sputtered, unable to help a startled laugh. Caleb chuckled too, and found another.
“She had the smallest, hottest mouth, as if she was storing lava in her cheeks. He shut his eyes, holding her hair by the roots. His bones started to liquefy-“
“Liquefy?!”
“Ja, you did hear me correctly, liquefy,” Caleb scoffed, sliding a hand up to Essek’s thigh.
“I don’t believe I have ever had a man tell me his bones were liquefying,” Essek said, and Caleb laughed again, looking over at him with an intensity in his gaze that sent warmth pooling in Essek’s gut.
“Well, perhaps you were just doing it wrong,” Caleb teased.
“I have not received any complaints about my technique in that area, thank you kindly,” Essek retorted with a grin, meeting his bright blue eyes.
“You’re right, I respect your expertise. I’m sure you have a lot you could teach me.”
That couldn’t have been more of a proposition if Caleb had started taking his clothes off, and Essek returned the level, patient gaze. Caleb held Essek’s eye contact with surprising confidence, and Essek found himself wondering exactly what kind of man he would be in bed.
“Would you like me to show you?” Essek murmured, drawing his hand down Caleb’s chest. His keen ears didn’t miss Caleb’s sharp intake of breath.
“I…” Essek heard the hesitation and returned his hand to Caleb’s shoulder. “Listen, ah, it has been a while for me. I’m sorry to be so much trouble.” He smiled sheepishly at Essek, who sat back to give him a little space, but kept his hand where it was.
“We don’t have to-“
“It’s not that,” Caleb interrupted. “I want to. Gods, I want to. I’m just…”
“Nervous?” Essek supplied, running his fingers around the collar of Caleb’s shirt. Caleb licked his lips and nodded. His skin was burning where Essek was almost-not-quite touching him.
“And…I know how foolish this sounds, but are you actually attracted to me? Do you want to?”
Essek’s stomach sank. He couldn’t honestly say that he was, but he didn’t know how to explain that to Caleb, he didn’t know how to say, no, I’m not, but it’s not like that for me-
“How could I not be?” Essek replied, taking his cheek in his palm. “You’re a handsome man, Caleb.”
Caleb smiled at him, a little sadly, and Essek’s own voice echoed in his head. As long as you choose to believe my answers are honest. Essek found himself hoping Caleb would choose to believe this one more than anything else he’d said tonight, this answer that wasn’t a lie and wasn’t the truth. Foolishly, Essek regretted not outright lying, because he really thought he could be attracted to Caleb, if only he could actually get to know him, but- that wasn’t how this would go. Not now, not ever, not even if Essek was different, if that animal pull toward another body that he experienced only rarely came as easily for him as it did for his brother, or his past lovers, or the men he slept with to chase away the thoughts that threatened to suffocate him.
“May I kiss you?” Caleb asked, saving them both from thinking too hard about things best left aside in a moment like this.
“Please,” Essek breathed, his eyes locked on Caleb’s pink, perfect mouth. Even though Caleb was the one who asked, Essek used the hand on Caleb’s cheek to guide him forward, to make the choice easy, and Caleb let him.
When their mouths meet, Essek’s nerves light up like a cloud of fireflies. He grips Caleb’s face harder and pulls him in close, and in the same moment, Caleb’s hands reach for him. One slides up his leg to his thigh, no longer resting on it but holding him properly, almost territorially, and the hunger in his touch makes Essek melt. His other hand bunches in Essek’s shirt, and at the brush of taut silk against his nipples, Essek shudders and presses up against Caleb’s chest.
Essek’s awareness narrowed until the room beyond their bodies vanished into so much stardust. The soft slide of lips against one another and gentle hands exploring, the sound of rustling sheets as they shifted closer together, and the quiet sigh of pleasure that Caleb breathed into the space between them were the only things in his universe now, all else gone blessedly dark.
For all Caleb’s skittishness about kissing him, the press of Essek’s mouth on his stirred his desire, as Essek could feel where his calf rested in Caleb’s lap. Essek slid his foot behind Caleb’s hip and pushed him closer, and Caleb hummed softly and turned toward Essek without breaking their kiss. He released Essek’s shirt as he leaned over and let his hands wander over Essek’s side, his back. The heat of his skin soaked into Essek’s tense, tired body, and the stress he didn’t know he’d been holding melted away. This is more like it.
Having all Caleb’s attention on him was intense; Essek hardly had time to take a breath when they parted. It has been a while for me. Essek didn’t know how long “a while” was, but the hunger awakened by Essek’s kiss seemed ravenous - the powerful pangs of a silent, starved stomach, revived by the tiniest morsel of food. He yielded in Caleb’s arms, threading his fingers into that soft red hair he knew he’d like so much and urging him to go on, kiss me like you mean it, more tongue, bite my lip like that again-
As Essek pressed his hips against Caleb’s, he felt the stiffness growing in Caleb’s trousers pushing on his own, and a thrill coursed through him. Caleb sighed with pleasure into Essek’s mouth, and Essek grinned, tugging Caleb closer. This time, Caleb took the hint and rolled over Essek. The weight of his body made the warmth in Essek’s belly flare; he felt so small and delicate, being held down like this. Caleb’s mouth started drifting to Essek’s neck, and the first hot, sucking kiss on his pale, unblemished throat made Essek let out an embarrassing sound that, coming from another, he might have termed a whimper. Caleb seemed to like that a lot, because he redoubled his efforts and added teeth to his feverish, enthusiastic kissing.
He pressed Essek further into the mattress and Essek became dimly aware of something jutting into his back. Suddenly, he remembered the book. He yanked it out from underneath himself and tossed it aside, leaning his head back finally to expose more of his throat to Caleb’s attention.
Essek loved having his neck kissed and bitten so much, he only realized Caleb had stopped when his hips were trapped between Caleb’s thighs and his hands were wrenched up over his head and pinned down against the mattress.
Adrenaline exploded through his pounding heart and flooded every vein to the tips of his fingers. His eyes snapped open, and above him, Caleb’s face was burning with cold fire, twisted with fury.
“Who are you?” he hissed, pressing down on Essek’s fingers with crushing strength. “Start talking, now.”
Essek’s surprised and horny brain was sluggish to respond.
“…What?!”
He tried moving his fingers to cast, but they were each crushed flat to the mattress. He had a hazy memory of Verin, excited by his Aurora Watch training, showing him this as a teenager. A classic maneuver to restrain a spellcaster and effectively remove his somatic abilities. Was this how he died? The shame on his family, if he was found like this, let alone if they knew the circumstances - the idea made his throat swell shut more than that of his own death. Gossamer ghosts of whispering voices swirled around him, snatches of conversation that had burned themselves into his memory: his mother, his father, his Queen, the small minds at court who didn’t think he would hear their tittering. Da’leth, Ikithon, Adeen.
His hubris is astonishing, Deirta. He’s going to ruin the Thelyss name if he keeps on this way-
When they said youngest Shadowhand in history, I didn’t think she’d plucked him from primary school-
You’re so very stupid for such a smart man, Essek. Your ego is going to be the death of you.
You think you hold all the cards, here, Thelyss, but you can’t even see the dealer.
I’m ashamed of you.
“Don’t play stupid,” Caleb snarled, and the voices blew into dust, like spider silk in the wind. He jerked his head toward the book Essek - stupid, stupid boy - had discarded next to him.
“Evocation and Interstitial Planar Constructions? That’s not a fucking beginner’s manual. Who are you? Did he send you?”
The warmth of lust that had smoldered in Caleb’s eyes when he was kissing Essek was gone, transmuted into deadly blue flame.
“What? Who? No- I-“
Caleb released one of Essek’s hands long enough to yank the sleeve of his tunic up before he snatched the hand in his fist again, and turned Essek’s arm over and over, searching frantically. Now Essek realized the rage in his expression was only the surface. Beneath was pure, animal fear, turning Caleb nearly inhuman in its all-consuming riptide.
“Caleb, waitwaitwait- Please, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Whatever Caleb was looking for on his forearms apparently didn’t materialize, and he paused, and loosened his grip just slightly. Still not enough for Essek to use his hands, but less punishing, and Essek was in no position to complain.
“You’re right, I lied,” Essek blurted, his heart thrumming just behind his mouth. “But I wasn’t - I’m not sent by anyone.”
Caleb’s eyes flashed bright blue, so quickly Essek would’ve believed he imagined it, but the charged ozone mist of arcana washed over him in a spine-tingling wave, and Essek was exposed. His pale skin gave way to gentle violet, his hair whitened and curled, and Essek squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away as the gravity of the situation pulled uncomfortably at his gut. Caleb had dispelled his disguise. He’d never accounted for this. He was a crick in Empire territory, and he’d been caught, and he still couldn’t look Caleb in the eye.
Like the coward they knew all along he was.
“I…” Caleb’s grip slackened again, and when Essek dared to open his eyes, he looked flabbergasted. Can you blame him?
“Whoever you’re looking for, I don’t think I’m him,” Essek mumbled, his cheeks hot.
“Who…what are you doing…here?”
It was almost comical, the way Caleb leaned over him like a lover. Essek could feel the rise and fall of Caleb’s stomach against his as he panted, coming down from his own adrenaline burn. Despite himself, the way Caleb was pinning him to the bed meant his blush was just as much arousal as it was humiliation, and his cock was filling out again quickly now that his fear was retreating with the tide.
“I don’t mean you any harm,” Essek said, intentionally gentle. “I wasn’t sent by anyone, I swear… Can I get up?”
“Talk first,” Caleb growled.
“I’m from Xhorhas,” Essek said through gritted teeth.
“That much is obvious.” The tips of Caleb’s ears flushed dark red. “Sorry. I - go on.”
“Yes, I am an arcane practitioner. I visit the Empire for work, despite the embargo, and it’s under the table and while I’m here, I make a little extra money, yes? That’s all. It’s nothing more sinister than that.”
He hoped Caleb couldn’t taste the lie in the air. He felt like it dripped from his lips, that it coated his teeth like black ichor. But Caleb searched his eyes, inspecting every inch of his expression, and thankfully, Essek had an excellent poker face, because he slowly let up on Essek’s hands and sat upright.
“I’m so sorry,” he groaned, covering his face with his hands. “Fuck, I feel like an asshole, I- are you alright? Did I hurt you?” That made Essek snort before he could help it.
“I’d like to see you try.”
Caleb lowered his hands slightly and glanced at Essek, and when he saw the slight smirk on Essek’s lips - at least partly genuine, though the cramping in his stomach hadn’t quite passed - he visibly relaxed.
“I have to ask you to be discreet about this, Caleb,” Essek asked softly, laying a hand on his wrist. He didn’t vocalize the threat that was implicit in his mind. In a situation like this, Essek thought, he was more apt to ensure the man’s silence with kindness.
“Ja, of course. I already said I think the war is stupid,” Caleb laughed in disbelief. “You think I’d tell on another arcanist working across enemy lines in flagrant violation of the law?”
Essek was at a loss. Caleb sighed and turned his hand to hold Essek’s wrist, gently this time, smoothing the skin with his thumb.
“And here I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”
He glanced up at Essek and tossed him a cheeky wink and the surprise and relief and deep, cavernous guilt that crashed over Essek made him burst out with a peal of laughter that Caleb found contagious. When they caught their breath, Caleb sighed.
“Um…listen, I really am sorry. I understand if you would like to take your leave. You can trust my discretion regardless.”
Lajos would’ve done something impulsive. He would have bolted upright, grabbed Caleb by the face, and kissed him, or told him to get to it and fuck him already, but Essek didn’t have that armor anymore.
“I rather enjoyed what we were doing before the, ah…interruption. And where it was heading. If you’re still interested…” He could feel the tips of his ears glowing.
Caleb examined his face carefully for a long second, then leaned down. His breath ghosted over Essek’s mouth, just as Essek’s caught in his throat. Cautiously, like he still wasn’t quite sure he was allowed, he pressed a kiss to Essek’s lips.
“I think I’m more interested.”
The residue of the hormonal cocktail his fear and panic had flooded him with was still pumping through Essek in waves, sparking every nerve ending like tinder, and something precious and rare was unfurling in his core, a slight gravitational pull when he looked at Caleb that blew the sparks into scorching fire racing up his spine and down to his toes- and Essek’s patience snapped.
“Come here then,” Essek growled, fisting a hand in Caleb’s shirt and yanking him down to kiss him.
Caleb met him with just as much enthusiasm, and closed his thighs around Essek’s hips to lift them to meet his. At the first brush of Essek’s tongue against his lips, he opened eagerly, and Essek reached up to cup the back of Caleb’s head to press him closer, to taste more of him. He loved the way Caleb’s hair felt between his fingers and slid his hand into it now, resisting the urge to tug on it.
Caleb only parted from him long enough to take a breath before he dove back in to meet Essek’s mouth. His hands grasped at the sheets on either side of Essek’s head as Essek nibbled at his bottom lip. It didn’t take long for Caleb’s kisses to start drifting again, first to Essek’s cheek and chin, then to the sharp edge of his jaw, and finally to his neck. Caleb returned to the spots he must have remembered made Essek squirm beneath him, and Essek hummed in satisfaction as blunt human teeth found their mark.
“You can go harder. It’s difficult to leave a bruise on me,” Essek lied.
It was difficult to leave a hickey that would be apparent to Caleb’s eyes, but his Umavi would spot it from a mile away, as Verin had learned the hard way many a morning-after in their adolescence. Essek was just smart enough to glamour over his, after clandestine visits to a boyfriend, and that was what he wanted even now that he was grown and out of his mother’s house - a reminder he could carry with him for a few days, his own secret rebellion. One that didn’t threaten to crush him under its weight.
“Mmm…just tell me if it’s too much,” Caleb breathed.
Caleb gladly took Essek up on the offer, exploring his long, slender neck with teeth and tongue, though Essek couldn’t help but privately smirk over what Caleb thought was playing rough, with his charming little milk teeth. Drow could draw blood when things got really heated; nothing Caleb could leave on him would come close to what one of his own kind might have sent him home with. Essek gasped and pressed Caleb’s head closer as he sucked hard on a patch of Essek’s skin held between his teeth. When he pulled off, he hissed in a breath, and Essek opened his eyes with a questioning look.
“I’m sorry, it seems I managed to-“
“I don’t care, I’ll cover it,” Essek interrupted. He grabbed the back of Caleb’s head again and pushed him down as he stretched his neck out. “Do it again.”
Caleb groaned against Essek’s throat and went back over all the spots he now knew Essek liked best, leaving bruises and bite marks with reckless abandon.
Essek’s eyes were closed, so he was caught by surprise when Caleb’s fingers trailed shyly along the ridge of his ear. He made a highly undignified sound and his cock swelled against the laces on his trousers.
“Does that feel good?” Caleb murmured. “I’ve read that they’re sensitive…” He rubbed the tip of one ear between his thumb and forefinger, and Essek had to bite back a whine.
“What do you think?” he managed, breathing hard.
When he was a human, the nerves on his rounded ears were so dull in comparison, his bedmate might have been rubbing his elbow. He hadn’t had this in so, so long. Caleb glanced up at him with a mischievous smile, and when their eyes met, lightning crackled under Essek’s skin.
Caleb hummed thoughtfully and kissed along Essek’s jaw until he reached the base of his ear. Essek stopped breathing, one hand gripping Caleb’s shoulder, fingers digging into the muscle, the other tangled in fiery red hair. Hot, kiss-softened lips closed around his earlobe as Caleb sucked gently and took it between his teeth.
“Ngh- ah!” Essek hated the noise he made and pressed a hand over his mouth, his cheeks burning. Caleb hummed again, this time sounding satisfied; he rolled his hips lazily against Essek, and warm pleasure swelled in Essek’s belly as he felt the hard length of what felt like a nice size cock press against his own.
While he sucked at Essek’s ears, Caleb trailed a hand down Essek’s chest to the sash tie around his waist and started tugging at it. The tie was in the back, but Essek let him struggle inexpertly for a moment before he laid a hand over Caleb’s. He froze and looked to Essek’s face, and Essek raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“So how do you want to do this?”
“I…hadn’t gotten that far,” Caleb admitted, his pink cheeks darkening.
“It’s entirely your preference.” Essek stroked Caleb’s hand as Caleb thought carefully.
“I usually prefer to be, ah, on the bottom. But, I, I don’t know you, obviously, and… But you don’t know me, so I shouldn’t ask you to-“ Essek cut him off.
“Caleb, you’re overthinking it. Do you want to fuck me or be fucked?”
“…If you were in a mood to be on the bottom, I wouldn’t say no.” That seemed to be the clearest answer Essek was going to get.
“Excellent,” Essek breathed, and tugged Caleb back down to kiss him. “Sit up for a moment so I can take this off.”
Caleb didn’t take his eyes off Essek as he stood and shifted to the edge of the bed to follow, but Essek put a hand on his shoulder.
“You can stay where you are.”
Essek wasn’t typically one for much showmanship in the bedroom, but the way Caleb looked at him, like he was both a cosmic event and the finest meal, was intoxicating. He never had the luxury of being himself with the men he slept with here, and though this was a happy accident in that sense, Essek couldn’t resist the pull of how good it felt to be so obviously, nakedly desired. Caleb wanted him. Liked him better this way, he said. Desire has never been so simple for Essek, but in that moment, he wants what Caleb is offering: to be wanted.
Caleb stayed put on the edge of the bed and Essek stepped between his spread thighs and took his hand, glancing down appreciatively at the hard ridge pushing against Caleb’s trousers. As he turned around, he guided Caleb’s hand to the complex knot in the sash tie that kept his shirt together.
“I thought women’s clothing was complicated,” Caleb murmured, plucking at the knot. “Do you have stays on under this too?”
“Would you like it if I did?” Essek teased. Caleb chuckled and one hand drifted down to brush over the curve of Essek’s ass.
“Nein, I spent more time in my teenage years than I care to recall trying to get a girl out of them. I’ll be glad not to be delayed any further.”
The sharp tug on Essek’s shirt tie at the word reminded him just how much Caleb wanted him, and something pleasant somersaulted deep in his core.
Essek’s shirt loosened around his stomach when Caleb found the tie end and Caleb’s free hand snaked around his waist, guiding him closer to his lips, which he laid on Essek’s spine in a slow, sensual kiss. As Caleb unlaced strand after strand of the knot, Essek’s shirt fell away from his shoulders, and Caleb pulled him back further, until Essek was leaning in his lap, bracing himself with his hands on Caleb’s thighs. His mouth found the back of Essek’s neck, then the spot between his shoulder blades, hungrily exploring newly exposed skin. Essek hummed happily and rolled his hips back against Caleb’s, and Caleb groaned and sank his teeth into the muscle of Essek’s shoulder.
“Gods, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Caleb murmured, and Essek could feel his labored breathing on the back of his neck, tickling the short hairs there and making him shudder.
Essek was aching with anticipation. He hadn’t felt truly desired like this in so long and forgot how good it was, and it had been longer since he felt such potential with someone. The energy, the aliveness that surged through his veins when he met Caleb’s eyes - it wasn’t attraction, not yet, but it felt like it could be, and just the possibility of it made Essek’s blood run hot. When his shirt finally fell away, Caleb was on him with both hands, kissing feverishly over his shoulders and back, and Essek gasped and leaned back into his arms. His hands slid up Essek’s chest and circled his nipples to coax them to stiffness, and Essek was about to boil over. He took Caleb’s hands in his and turned to face him. Caleb, undeterred, shifted to new territory, licking and kissing and sucking on any skin that was in front of him, but Essek lifted his chin to look at him. When Caleb met his eyes, he put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and shoved it, knocking Caleb back onto his elbows.
“Get down.”
Caleb blushed deep red and stared at him, openmouthed, for a second before lying flat on his back. Oh. He likes being told what to do. Even better. Essek surveyed his prize with a satisfied smirk. He never brought magic into the bedroom, even with his past lovers, but given Caleb’s reaction to even the most basic discussion of arcana, he couldn’t resist: he rubbed two fingers together and flicked Caleb’s belt buckle open with an invisible hand. Caleb gasped and arched up, chasing the hand with his hips, and whimpered when he failed to find anything to press against.
Essek folded his arms over his bare chest, just to showboat a little, and held Caleb’s eyes as his mage hand tugged insistently at the waist of Caleb’s pants. Caleb gazed up at him like he was still trying to work out whether this was an extremely convincing dream, and Essek yanked his pants open, ignoring the wooden buttons that skittered across the floor. It was fine, Essek would leave him money to replace it. With the money Essek got paid tonight back in his possession, Caleb could replace this entire ill-fitting outfit. It hung too loosely from his frame, it didn’t skim against his lovely, lean body the way it would if Essek chose it for him- Take it easy.
“Take it all off,” Essek commanded, and Caleb immediately pulled his shirt up over his head, tossed it aside, and started wriggling out of his pants.
Nothing like giving an order and having it obeyed, Essek thought, warm arousal swirling in his belly. His own slim fitting trousers were uncomfortably tight, but he liked the idea of staying partially clothed while Caleb was not, at least for a little while. Just because he’s on top doesn’t mean he’s in charge. Essek let his gaze settle on the lovely, thick cock that rested against Caleb’s stomach. It was flushed rosy pink and leaking sticky pre-come into the copper hair that trailed up Caleb’s belly and chest, and it made Essek’s mouth water. He pushed his thigh between Caleb’s legs as he leaned over him, deliberately moving just enough to make his breath stutter and his hips buck up against him.
“That’s a good boy,” he crooned in Caleb’s ear, nosing against the rounded edge, and Caleb made a desperate, bitten-off sound that Essek wanted to coax out of him. I’ll make you forget about restraining yourself.
“Is this alright?” Essek murmured, and kissed Caleb’s neck. He liked the idea, at least a little, of littering this pale throat with real marks, the kind only sharp teeth could make-
“Yes,” Caleb replied emphatically, and Essek hummed with satisfaction.
He started shifting downwards, laying a quick trail of kisses down Caleb’s neck, his chest - the hair tickled his nose and he liked that, liked how foreign and masculine it was - until he was lying between Caleb’s legs. When he looked up at Caleb, he was staring at him, wide-eyed, holding his breath.
“You’re going to want to breathe a little,” Essek joked, and Caleb seemed to remember himself, and let his breath out in a sigh. It didn’t last; as Essek ran his tongue slowly up the length of Caleb’s shaft, Caleb gasped and held his breath again, only gulping for air when Essek did it a second time.
“Mmmm…just relax,” Essek encouraged gently.
He lapped up the drops of pre-come that beaded at Caleb’s tip, and swirled his tongue around the head before he opened his mouth to take in the rest. Caleb cried out, twisting the sheets in his hands and shuddering, and salty sweetness washed over Essek’s tongue. He opened wider, trying to take more. The part of him that loved being in charge was fighting with the part of him that wanted Caleb to grab his head and fuck his throat until he had to beg off work tomorrow. He pushed down further, until he could feel his throat spasm around the head of Caleb’s dick, and pulled off as saliva flooded his mouth. Caleb didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. He was staring down at Essek like he’d forgotten what a blowjob felt like.
Essek winked before he went back down, reached up and pulled one of Caleb’s hands to his head, and Caleb cupped the back of it gently, running his fingertips through short hair. His touch was soft compared to his labored breathing and the way his whole body tensed as Essek found a rhythm. Pulling off with an obscene pop, Essek let Caleb’s cock, wet and shiny, bob back against his stomach. He kissed and licked at the sensitive skin around it and hummed with satisfaction as he ran his tongue over Caleb’s sack. Enthralled, Essek watched his cock throb, oozing more pre-come into the damp hair on his belly.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Essek murmured, and as if to issue a challenge on the matter, continued massaging Caleb’s balls as he sucked just the tip of his cock into his mouth.
“I…” Just in that one breathy sound, Caleb sounded wrecked. “…I’m trying very hard not to come.”
Essek tutted and licked all the way up Caleb’s shaft, holding his gaze.
“Why would you do something like that?” Essek asked, and flicked over the head with his tongue, lightly, but Caleb still moaned and tensed, his fingers curling against the back of Essek’s head.
“I don’t want it to be over too soon,” Caleb gasped, thighs trembling.
“Mmm…we’ll see how long that lasts.”
Essek leaned over Caleb and took his cock back into his mouth, and started bobbing up and down again. Caleb groaned and finally gripped the back of Essek’s head firmly, tangling fingers in his strands. Essek found he was so turned on he didn’t care about Caleb messing up his hair.
Though Essek’s erection was pressing into the mattress, he ignored it and used his mage hand to retrieve the oil he’d stashed on the bedside table. Eyes closed, Caleb didn’t notice, but when Essek spread his thighs and pushed them up, his eyes snapped open. Essek grinned around his mouthful before pulling off slowly and running one oiled finger around Caleb’s entrance.
“Do you want this?”
“Please, please-“ Caleb panted, and Essek swatted his thigh.
“Hold these.”
He obeyed immediately, pulling his thighs up and shifting the angle of his hips to give Essek better access. Essek sucked Caleb’s sack into his mouth - being extra careful to protect his sharp teeth with his lips - as he massaged the tight muscle between Caleb’s legs. Caleb moaned softly and shivered, and Essek put a little more pressure into his rubbing, encouraging the tension to give way for him. When Essek started bobbing up and down on his cock again, his hole pulsed and Essek pushed the tip of his finger inside. Caleb was tight, incredibly tight, and Essek’s cock throbbed as he imagined how good it would feel to be inside him.
Caleb was a noisy mess now, with Essek sucking down his cock and massaging his insides. He was blushing red down to his chest and his hair spread in wild, loose waves beneath him. He was panting and writhing so beautifully as Essek took him apart, and Essek wanted to devour him.
Slowly, Caleb’s body pulled him inside, and his moans grew higher and breathier as he took more of Essek’s finger, and as Essek’s mouth on his cock grew faster and messier. He looked nearly ready to come by the time Essek was in him to the last knuckle, and Essek massaged his walls firmly, opening him up enough to get fingered properly. Caleb’s restraint finally dissolved and his hips started to rock up into Essek’s mouth, making Essek moan with surprise and delight. Caleb’s ass spasmed around him and Essek sucked harder, searching desperately with his finger for - there. Essek rubbed on the spot hard, and a choked,
“Ah-haa-ah-!“
-was all the warning he got before Caleb’s hips were stuttering and hot, thick come was filling his mouth and throat. He moaned happily and swallowed everything Caleb gave him. Essek pulled off just in time for the last drops of pearly white to smear over his lips when Caleb’s dripping cock passed through them. He slid his finger out carefully, eliciting another shuddering moan from Caleb, and cleaned his hands with a quick cantrip. Looking into Caleb’s eyes, Essek ran his tongue over his lips to catch the last drops of come and flashed a little fang in his smile. Caleb seemed to like those. He wondered if he would like being bitten by them. Caleb, flushed and catching his breath, pulled Essek up to kiss him, plunging his tongue into Essek’s mouth. His hands found the buttons on Essek’s pants right away and started tugging them open. The release of pressure was such a relief that Essek groaned, and Caleb fumbled Essek’s trousers down off his hips.
“You’re fucking incredible,” Caleb sighed, evidently undeterred by post-orgasm fatigue. “I want to take care of you, please… Can I get you ready?”
“You can’t wait any longer?” Essek whispered, smiling against Caleb’s lips. “Impatient…” Caleb glanced between them, where he was soft, but Essek’s erection seemed to be attempting a jailbreak.
“I don’t think I’m the impatient one of the two of us, at the moment.” Essek chuckled and kissed Caleb again,
“Mmm, fair play. It shouldn’t take long… Do you think you’ll be, ah…”
“Up again?” Caleb reached around and squeezed Essek’s ass. “I haven’t had sex in years, so…ja, I think I’ll be fine.” He kept fondling Essek’s butt, and his other hand went to Essek’s cheek to pull him in for another kiss.
Essek, despite himself, was distracted. Years? He couldn’t imagine how that could possibly be true, Caleb was young and intelligent and handsome - Verin would’ve scoffed, and the ox calls the donkey horned, brother - but then again, there were obviously a lot of things they didn’t know about each other. With the lull in the action, his arousal was sitting at a low simmer, and he could see clearly now scars on Caleb’s arms, too precise and patterned to be accidental, too healed over to be recent. He was taken aback by them - not for any detriment to Caleb’s appearance, but for the hint of something terrible that lay in Caleb’s past. Fortunately, his thoughts couldn’t wander for long, not with Caleb’s mouth on his and his hands kneading his ass.
“You’re going to have - a hard time fucking me with pants on,” Essek managed between kisses.
“Take them off, then,” Caleb breathed, kissing Essek’s neck - Essek had the distinct impression he was busying himself while he waited for Essek’s mouth to no longer be so rudely occupied by talking - but made no move to let Essek up.
“I need to get up!” Essek finally huffed. Caleb huffed right back at him, a playful smile on his face, and smacked Essek’s ass lightly before releasing him.
“Impatient, I told you.”
Essek rolled his eyes and bit back a smile of his own. Gods, he liked this man. He knew it was stupid, they hardly knew each other, didn’t know each other, and even if they did- Essek pushed the thoughts away and stood to shed his pants quickly. He was about to climb back into bed when he saw Caleb’s gaze fixed between his legs. Oh. How did he forget? Caleb realized he’d been caught staring and blushed furiously.
“Sorry, I-“
“Don’t worry about it. It’s alright, if you want to…”
Essek gestured awkwardly downward. Want to what? Pet it like a small animal? Drow had slightly different anatomy from humans, something that had never come up before for Essek. Where human cocks were rounded at the head, a drow cock tapered on a bias, and there was a narrow ring of cartilage that swelled when he was hard and encircled the shaft about two-thirds of the way down. Essek was sure it had some long-forgotten evolutionary purpose, but if he had ever known what it was, he certainly couldn’t call it to mind now. Caleb rolled over onto his stomach and glanced up at Essek, and where Essek expected to see trepidation or repugnance, he only saw curiosity, enthusiasm even.
“Will you tell me what you like? And what doesn’t feel good?”
“Of course,” Essek replied. Caleb looked very, very nice down there. Essek ran his fingers through Caleb’s hair again.
Caleb wrapped his hand around Essek and stroked him experimentally, once, twice. The skin of his shaft was soft, and it slid with Caleb’s hand the way a human’s did.
“Not so different,” Essek murmured, still threading his fingers through Caleb’s hair.
“No, not so different…” Caleb mumbled, but his eyes were fixed on Essek’s cock. He ran a thumb around the ridge in the center and Essek thought - or hoped - he saw a little longing in Caleb’s eyes.
“It feels nice,” Essek said, and Caleb looked up at him.
“When I touch it?” He ran his tongue slowly around the raised ring, and Essek’s arousal started to bubble in his belly again.
“Mhm, and when you’re taking it,” Essek sighed, gently but firmly cupping the back of Caleb’s head. You can keep using that pretty mouth, darling. “It feels very good, ah, on the receiving end.”
He was mildly disappointed on Caleb’s behalf that he wasn’t going to try it. Essek sighed with contentment as Caleb mouthed over his cock with kisses and little kitten licks. He licked around the ridge and thumbed over the flat of the head, where Essek’s slit was beading with pre-come. Essek gripped his hair as softly as he could manage, breathing hard. When Caleb finally took him into his mouth, he pulled off slowly, dragged his lips over Essek’s head, and sucked softly on the rounded nub at the very tip. Essek groaned louder than he intended and clutched a handful of Caleb’s hair, making Caleb gasp and pull away from Essek’s cock - the opposite of what he wanted, really.
“Was that good or bad?” Caleb managed, and Essek released his hair quickly, though he couldn’t tell if Caleb’s blush was because he liked the pulling or because he didn’t.
“Ah - good. Very, very good. I won’t last if you keep doing that…as nice as it is.”
“Can I blow you a little more?” Caleb asked, and his eyes were so eager Essek didn’t have it in him to say no.
“Mmm…well, if you’re that desperate for it,” Essek murmured.
Caleb didn’t refute the teasing and bent his head back to Essek’s dick, taking it in and this time using his tongue to play with the ridge and the head. Essek was pleasantly surprised how curious and excited Caleb was about his cock, even though it really wasn’t that different from a human’s - it was strangely flattering. Caleb took Essek’s hand and guided it back to his hair, and Essek, trying to restrain his embarrassing noises, grabbed a handful without having to be told. Caleb bobbed back and forth eagerly, moaning softly at the pull on his hair, and Essek silently thanked his levitation cantrip - the only thing keeping him upright. His dick was a bit smaller than an average human’s, but Caleb seemed to be enjoying that he could fit all of Essek into his mouth. He used his free hand to fondle Essek’s balls, and Essek was almost convincing himself he could come like this and get it up again in time to fuck, when Caleb teased the very tip of his dick again and he swore loudly, reluctantly tugging Caleb off him by the hair.
“Your mouth is entirely too talented,” Essek panted. “I think we might find another use for it.” Caleb grinned and licked his lips.
“I can think of a few.”
Essek climbed back onto the bed on his knees and leaned on the headboard to brace himself. This was hardly the most comfortable position, but Caleb’s lustful admiration was like the sweetest wine; Essek craved more, and he knew he looked good like this, pleasing like this. Caleb knelt behind him and leaned over to kiss the back of his neck, one warm hand pressed against Essek’s chest. His dick brushed the curve of Essek’s ass and a shiver of delight went through Essek’s core, thinking of having that thick, pretty cock inside him. Caleb mapped every vertebra of Essek’s spine with his mouth until he reached the dimples on his lower back - dimples of Corellon, an old lover had breathed in his ear once, and thrilled Essek with his blasphemy - and placed a chaste kiss on each one. Finally, Caleb settled behind him and spread him open.
“I don’t need muohhhh-“
A warm, wet tongue ran all the way from the underside of his balls to the cleft of his ass and took Essek by surprise, making him slouch forward against the headboard. This close to the wall, he knew Caleb’s friends probably heard him moan even if they weren’t trying to eavesdrop, and his cock throbbed thinking about it. Good. Let them hear how easy you are. How quickly this Empire boy and his silver tongue had you bending over, Shadowhand.
Caleb’s eager pace didn’t slow, and Essek couldn’t help another low, whimpering moan as the tip of Caleb’s tongue flicked quickly over his hole. Caleb was enjoying this almost as much as he was, he thought, sighing and humming softly against Essek’s skin. He kneaded Essek’s butt and lifted his head to kiss and bite at the muscle, which made Essek squirm and gasp. Caleb chuckled, a low, pleasant sound that seeped right into Essek’s center, and lowered his head back to his prize. A firm, hot tongue massaged the sensitive area behind his balls and molten, honey-sweet pleasure pooled in thick ribbons in his lower belly. Essek choked out,
“Oh, fuck, ohhh…”
Gods, his noises were so humiliating… The sound he just made was like a tremulous little wail, and Caleb had barely done anything. Was it so easy to make him forget himself? He couldn’t think straight enough to consider the question and let it float away. Caleb pulled back to spit on Essek’s hole and fuck, why was that so godsdamned hot? He immediately wanted to bend over further, lay his chest flat against the mattress and let Caleb have his way with him. However long it had been for Caleb, he made up for it with enthusiasm. His mouth was wet, sloppy, and eager; Essek wondered hazily if their audience on the other side of the wall could hear how passionately Caleb was eating his ass.
“That feel good, baby?” Caleb breathed, and Essek nodded eagerly, pushing back with his hips to encourage more of Caleb’s attention.
“Yes, don’t stop, please…”
He meant it and he didn’t; he wanted to do this for an hour and he wanted to get fucked five minutes ago. Caleb blessedly, went back to Essek’s hole - not before scattering a few more kisses on the round of his ass - and buried his face between his cheeks as far as he could manage. A happy groan from behind him told him Caleb was more than a little pleased; there was a brief second of pause before Essek heard the cork going back into the oil bottle and the familiar sound of slick skin on skin.
“Is this how you like it?” Caleb asked, his voice husky with desire. “You want more?”
“Yes, don’t- don’t stop, it does feel good, yes…” Essek babbled.
Caleb groaned, muffled, and he slapped Essek’s ass with his free hand, making Essek jump. He could hear the pace of Caleb’s stroking increase as he pushed his tongue past Essek’s softening rim, and Essek choked on another moan, pressing his mouth against his hand on the headboard.
“Ja, that’s it, open up for me…” Caleb murmured, running a finger over Essek’s hole.
Caleb lowered his head again and kissed Essek’s entrance, long, sucking kisses, and reached around with an oiled hand - the one he was just using on himself, and why was that so hot - to stroke Essek’s dick. The grip pulled his cock back slightly and Essek gasped, the tugging sensation reaching deep into his core. It wasn’t what he was used to - utilitarian, efficient - because Caleb stroked him like he was in no rush to make Essek come. Essek didn’t even touch himself with that tenderness.
“Please…fingers,” Essek choked, and Caleb hummed, thumbing over the head of Essek’s dick as he ran his tongue around Essek’s rim.
Parting with one more long, tongue-heavy kiss, Caleb got on his knees and leaned over Essek’s back. Essek was slumped over the headboard now, head buried in his folded arms. Caleb nosed his way to Essek’s ear and sucked on the edge.
“You need more?” he teased, jerking Essek a little faster. “Do I need to stretch you open before you can take me?”
The question was rhetorical, Essek’s rapidly shrinking logical brain knew. Even the most impatient of his conquests understood his insistence on proper preparation, though Essek didn’t need much. Still, he pressed his hips back into Caleb’s renewed erection and panted,
“Please, open me up…I need you…”
That stroked something in Caleb’s primal brain and he groaned and pressed his hips against Essek’s ass, letting Essek feel his slick cock between his cheeks. Gods, it felt bigger than it had in his mouth…
Essek was so delirious with pleasure, he made a petulant sound when Caleb sat back and, most importantly and offensively, took his big, beautiful human cock away from where Essek wanted him. Caleb snorted and smacked Essek’s ass.
“See? Impatient little thing.”
Gods, that was so fucking condescending, and Essek wanted more of it so, so badly. He still glanced over his shoulder to glare at Caleb, who smiled to let him know he was teasing. The sour look on Essek’s face melted right away when Caleb ran two well-oiled fingers over his soft, yielding entrance.
“Both, give me both,” Essek groaned, draped over the headboard. Gods, the things his friends must be hearing… Essek throbbed in Caleb’s hand just thinking about it.
“Mmmm, ja, I’ll give you both, baby….”
Essek’s thighs trembled as Caleb pressed the tip of one finger against his hole and inched it inside. It was a much smoother process than it had been with Caleb on the receiving end, but Essek needed to be prepped well for a human. Caleb pushed his finger fully inside and circled Essek’s walls gently, and Essek, panting, canted his hips back. Like a common whore.
“Caleb, please,” he groaned, and Caleb fluttered his finger against Essek’s prostate as he stroked him. Essek gripped the headboard and reached between his legs to swat Caleb’s hand away. Caleb gripped him by the hip with it instead, his palm tacky with oil and pre-come.
“Too much,” he gritted out, and Caleb pressed a kiss to his spine in acknowledgement and possibly apology. Nothing to apologize for, for making me want to last.
Caleb’s finger was pumping in and out of Essek, and every time he fully seated inside him, he used his other fingers to rub firmly between Essek’s balls and his hole. Pleasure shot Essek’s knees out from under him and he fell fully against the headboard, thrusting his ass back in the air.
“Oh, oh, ohh, haaa…”
The sounds coming out of him… Essek didn’t care. And it didn’t matter much longer whether he did or not, because the ability to stop himself dissolved when Caleb pulled out, and pushed back in with a second finger, reaching deep inside him until Caleb’s knuckles were firm against his rim.
Essek moaned, loud and long, and his hazy brain disregarded any suggestion that he ought to care what the neighbors were hearing. Caleb brushed over his prostate and Essek grabbed at the headboard, curling in on himself and pulling his hips away from Caleb - as if to tell him to stop, when that was the last thing in the world he wanted.
“Mmmm, ja, you like that?” Caleb growled in his ear. His free hand slid up Essek’s chest to tug on his nipples and Essek nodded feverishly. He started thrusting his hips back and forth and Caleb put an arm around his waist and yanked him close, immobilizing him. Hot, naked, animal need crashed over Essek, clutched against this stranger’s chest as he opened him up.
“That’s it, just like that,” Caleb crooned, thrusting faster, “You’re so wet, you’re almost ready for me, aren’t you? And you tasted so good, too, so sweet and… I wonder if I could make you come just like this?”
“I’m- I’m almost-ohhhhh,“ Essek whimpered, trailing off into a high, thin moan as Caleb rubbed his prostate hard.
“Gods, I want to watch you come,” Caleb panted. “I bet you’re so beautiful when you come.”
“You’re going to see it soon if you’re not careful,” Essek managed. “Please fuck me.” Caleb pulled out and sat back.
“Stay there.”
The sound of oil on skin, frantic and messy, came from behind him, and then cool wetness dripped down between his cheeks and over his hole - more than was needed, but Caleb was hardly being precise in his scramble. Caleb held him around the waist with one arm and leaned over him so Essek’s back pressed to his chest, and oh, gods, the way that chest hair felt against his back… Caleb’s warm, slick cock slid between his oiled cheeks, the shaft pressed against his hole, and Essek groaned, rutting back against it. A tremulous moan came from Caleb in response and he rocked his hips up and down to rub his cock back and forth over Essek’s entrance. Essek was mewling, arching his back up to expose more of himself to Caleb, on the brink of falling apart in his need. Broken down and reduced down to his basest instincts.
“I’ll go slow,” Caleb panted in his ear, and the tenderness in his voice made Essek bury his face in his arms, his cheeks burning.
The round head of Caleb’s cock finally pressed against his entrance and Essek trembled, anticipation rolling through him to the tips of his fingers. Caleb’s breathing was heavy and staccato with the effort of restraint as his head pushed past Essek’s rim, then another inch, and then another, until Essek was shaking and gasping, wondering deliriously if he could possibly get any fuller. Conquered, his scrambled brain supplied. He wants you so bad and now he’s taking you. Essek wasn’t sure exactly when he’d handed over the power tonight, but gods, wasn’t it the sweetest possible surrender...
“Fucking gods, you’re so big,” Essek gritted out, and Caleb, breathing hard, sucked on the tip of his ear and whispered,
“I bet you say that to all the Empire boys…”
Essek choked on his snarky response when Caleb finally moved inside him, nothing more than a gentle, grinding rock, but Essek knew, with Caleb’s big, beautiful cock stretching him open and constantly pressing on his sweet spot, he wasn’t going to make it long.
“Harder,” Essek groaned anyway, and Caleb tightened the arm around Essek’s waist and started thrusting faster.
The air was thick with sweat and sex. The heat Caleb was radiating had Essek flushed and damp, and the room was full of the heady sounds of skin slapping against skin behind their moans. That’s it, let them all know how well he’s fucking you. Let them hear you beg him to fuck you harder.
“You want to come for me?” Caleb gasped in Essek’s ear. “Ohhh ja, you’re so tight-“
All Essek could do was nod vigorously, with Caleb’s cock punching the air out of his lungs. He levered himself up on the headboard so he was partially upright and used it to thrust back on Caleb’s dick. The bed protested loudly, squeaking and creaking in a telltale rhythm, but Essek ignored it. Caleb gasped and his rhythm stuttered; he moved the arm around Essek’s waist up to his chest, pulling them both back so Essek was almost sitting in his lap with his hands set on the headboard.
“Ohhh, you like that, don’t you?” Essek hummed, rolling his hips back and forth. Caleb grabbed his hip with his free hand and thrust into him roughly, making Essek swallow his moan.
“Ja, that’s it, baby, look at you, bouncing on my cock,” Caleb panted. He slapped Essek’s ass and it echoed through the room. “That’s it, ride it-“
Essek took his hand from the headboard and reached over his shoulder to bury his hand in Caleb’s hair, then yanked him forward to press Caleb’s mouth against his throat.
“I want to feel you come,” Essek breathed. Caleb moaned and started fucking him faster, panting hard. “Gods you’re big- fuck- fuck!”
Whatever Essek was going to say was lost as his brain finally, completely melted with a shift of Caleb’s hips that pounded the head of his cock directly into his prostate.
“It’s big for you, isn’t it?” Caleb growled, panting against his sensitive ear. “Is that why you like visiting the Empire so much? Can’t get this at home, can you?”
By all rights, that should’ve been the last thing Essek wanted to hear, but his gut tightened like a spring and suddenly, his orgasm threatened.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Essek babbled, tightening his grip in Caleb’s hair. “Please come for me, pleasepleaseplease-“
“I’m close, baby, you’re so fucking tight-“
Caleb thrust deep into him once, twice more and pulled out just in time, groaning loudly as he shot against Essek’s hole, still pressed against his back. Essek moaned too, feeling the hot come drip down between his cheeks, mixed with oil and spit and yes, make a mess of me, put me in my place… Caleb, moaning softly, pressed fervid kisses to Essek’s neck and along the ridge of his ear.
Floating in the haze of great sex, Essek barely had time to consider his own orgasm before Caleb, still panting, got down on his back and slid between Essek’s thighs.
Essek hadn’t gotten a good look at Caleb in a while, and he was now flushed from his hair to his belly, smiling broadly. A light sheen of sweat made him glow in the dim light and his hair was a wild, sex-mussed tangle. He was happy and rosy and virile, not at all like the pale, hunched over man Essek spotted in the dining room. I did that. I made him look like that.
Before Essek could think much more on it, Caleb gripped Essek’s hips and pulled him down, and Essek groaned as Caleb swallowed him whole. Essek held on to the headboard for dear life with one hand and Caleb’s hair with the other, and, at Caleb’s wordless urging with his hands pushing Essek’s hips forward, began to thrust into his mouth.
It was messy and desperate and so undignified, which only made Essek’s blood boil hotter, and he knew he wouldn’t last long. In a cheeky bit of payback for earlier, Caleb reached behind Essek, swept two fingers into the mess of oil and come that coated his hole, and pushed them inside. Essek yelped, his hips jumping forward to push deep into Caleb’s mouth, but Caleb only groaned and sucked harder. He watched with desperate eyes, just trying to delay his climax a second longer, as Caleb pulled him forward in time with his thrusts. The ridge on his cock disappeared and reappeared between Caleb’s lips with an obscene pop. The heat, the pressure, the way Caleb looked up at him, with those big blue eyes so desperate to please-
It couldn’t have been more than a minute before Essek went still, crying out, cock buried in Caleb’s wet heat as wave after wave of spine-tingling orgasmic pleasure washed over him. Caleb moaned happily and swallowed all of it, suckling on Essek’s cock to get the last precious drops of him until it became too much and Essek had to pull out.
Essek turned over and fell onto his back with a groan, and Caleb just lay there, catching his breath. Neither spoke for a long moment, each with an arm thrown over the other.
“…I think I needed that," Caleb sighed. Essek smirked.
“Your friends seemed to think so too.”
“Meddlers, but a broken clock is still right twice a day, ja?”
Essek wasn’t much of a cuddler, and it seemed Caleb wasn’t either, at least not in these circumstances, which was just as well. They lay side by side, one hand on the other’s torso. His mind wandered a bit in the comfortable quiet, spinning a fantasy world where he did cuddle up next to Caleb after sex, where they would get to do this again, tomorrow or any day they wanted. The injustice didn’t escape him, that no matter how handsome and charming and good in bed this man was, the circumstances - political and otherwise - precluded any timeline in which there would be more to this encounter.
“Speaking of the time,” Essek sighed. “Do you-“
“It’s 1:06.”
“Well, that’s…precise.” Caleb hummed in acknowledgement. 1:06. Fuck. Rosohna was a few hours ahead of here, and started the day earlier…he might not have time for a full trance, even if he left now. Well, that’s what tea is for.
“You have to go?” Caleb asks, and Essek thinks - hopes, you and your wishful thinking - he sounds a little disappointed. “I mean, of course, I- figured.”
“I do,” Essek said apologetically. It still took him a long moment to stand. He much preferred to lay there and run his fingers through Caleb’s chest hair. But eventually, he got up, cleaned them both with a quick spell and a wink, and donned his clothes and his disguise. While Caleb retrieved his sleeping pants, Essek quickly palmed the money the tiefling woman had given him and deposited it surreptitiously on the nightstand, next to where Caleb had left his books and holsters. Caleb didn’t seem to notice, and walked Essek to the door.
“I, um…I did have a nice time,” Caleb said softly. “Thank you.”
Hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if this was allowed, he bent down to kiss Essek on the cheek. Surprisingly, it warmed him, sending little butterflies - maybe just one or two, he wasn’t a schoolgirl - fluttering in his belly.
“I did too. Honestly.” Essek smiled back at him and squeezed his shoulder. “Goodbye, Caleb.”
If Essek was a bit distracted the next day, the others at court didn’t notice. He was prone to it, frequently drifting off into thoughts about his work while some Den representative or another presented a complaint about having to share well water with a neighboring Den property, or some such stupid thing. Everyone knew where his priorities lay. But even over the following weeks, Essek’s thoughts occasionally drifted to one evening he spent in Zadash with a sexy, witty, Empire mage whose shadow he chased - whether he admitted it to himself or not - in the handful of men he hooked up with after that. None of them compared, and he knew they wouldn’t, but they got the job done.
Weeks passed, and weeks became months, and sparkling blue eyes and bright red hair inhabited his thoughts less and less frequently. The new year came and went, and the memory kept him warm at night, but retreated from his mind day-to-day.
A cold day in Horisal, a little over three months later, he was sitting in court, once again occupied with the next steps on his current research rather than the dispute over use of the alleyway between their buildings representatives from Den Dyrr and Den VaSuun were bickering about.
When the next group came in, Essek still didn’t pay them much mind. A mishmash of firbolg, goblin, orc and tiefling, with their slaves standing hunched over and shadowed behind them - he notices the Queen’s nose wrinkle at the word, and wonders who these barbarians are and how they got an audience - but they are not an entirely uncommon sight here, especially coming from Asarius, as Lythir said they did.
It’s only when they begin to speak something faintly tickles at the back of Essek’s memory. The goblin in particular sounded familiar, but he was certain he’d never met her. The tiefling looks familiar too, very familiar… But Essek meets so many people in this job, especially in passing, he may have seen her before and just forgotten. He stares at her, oddly lit by the green lanterns of the Lucid Bastion, and tries to place her. By the time he’s paying full attention again, it’s because tensions are high, voices snapping back and forth like ball bearings launched from slingshots, and Essek rapidly realizes he’s lost track of the situation, when one of the slaves elbows his way to the front.
“Wait!”
The first thing that captures Essek’s attention, obviously, is the fucking Luxon beacon in his hand. Glowing like a terrestrial star, it pulses in his hand with gray-blue light. Essek’s bowels twist into knots. He knows that beacon in particular all too well.
The second thing is the voice that emerges from the man holding it, and that, of all things, is what makes Essek’s heart slam to a screeching halt.
“I am of the Empire, but I am no friend to the Empire.”
“I bet you say that to all the Empire boys,” his brain helpfully reminded him, as if he’d forgotten it, as if he didn’t know exactly where he’d heard that fucking voice before.
Red hair. A strong jaw covered by a downy soft copper beard. Blue eyes that met his, squinted, and widened. Recognition.
Oh, fuck me.