Chapter Text
Away from the crowd, Silver stands alone at a balcony in the Scarabia dorm, admiring the view. Parties were never exactly his favourite, but he didn’t hate them either. He was a frequent member of Kalim’s parties, as they were close friends.
Silver sighs, the muffled noises of partying behind him. It’s not that silver hates it, but everyone gets tired at some point. He had decided to go to the balcony to get a break from all those people and the loudness of it all. Despite how noisy the party was, his thoughts clouding his mind seemed to be the loudest of all.
Still, going to the balcony and surrounding himself in his thoughts was a good decision. He looks up into the night and feels more calm and serene. The quiet compared to the noise from just before is lovely, and Silver sees it now, away from it all, with only himself as company.
It’s a beautiful night, Silver thinks, as he gazes at the sky again and again. A cloudless night, littered with stars, like paint flicked onto a canvas. Beautiful, amazing, goregous, all of those words could describe it, yes, but Silver was too absorbed in his thoughts to really take the time to admire it.
He hadn’t seen Kalim all night. it was a bit of a disappointment, but Silver’s not angry at him. Kalim must’ve been busy talking to other people, Silver thinks. Kalim was so cheerful and kind, he must have many friends. He’d be unsure about saying it out loud, but Silver was looking forward to seeing Kalim tonight. Silver stays watching the stars, thoughts of how the night had been so far floating in his mind.
“Oh, Silver!” A voice breaks him out of his trance. Silver’s surprised to see that it’s Kalim, the exact person he wanted to see.
“Kalim? Aren’t you supposed to be at the party?” Silver asks, confused. Kalim is the host after all, it makes sense for him to mingle with the people at the party, especially with his extroverted and kind personality.
Kalim’s always been the life of the party, or at least, to Silver he was. He was always the part Silver looked forward to in these grand Scarabia parties, always so nice to talk to, always so fun to be with. Silver never regrets his time with him.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Kalim giggles, “but really, I just needed to take a small break! I mean, we all get tired sometimes, right? Even extroverts like me! I just needed a bit of me-time!”
“Oh, really? Am i intruding on your alone time? I’m sorry, i can leave,” Silver apologises, being rude was the furthest thing he wanted to be. Kalim was always so hyper and talkative, Silver loved his company. If he was tired, then he deserved this break.
“No, no! don’t worry, Silver! I like spending time with you way too much! I cant let this opportunity pass, can I?” Kalim smiles, latching onto his arm.
Kalim was a rather touchy and physically affectionate person. It was definitely something Silver had to get used to at first, but he wouldn’t trade even the smallest touch for the world.
(hold onto my arm for a little longer, will you, kalim? i’d be okay with it if your touch stayed for a little longer than you think it should. i wouldn’t mind, not a bit. hold my hand, kalim. hold it like you would with someone you love.)
“So, what should we do then?” Silver asks Kalim. There’s not exactly a lot of options for what they could do. Kalim thinks for a moment, a finger on his chin.
“Ah, I’ve got it!” He grins. Silver nods, ready to hear his idea. Kalim’s face brightens, and he grins at him.
“Let’s dance, Silver!”
Kalim reaches out entwining his and Silver’s hands. Silver felt himself being slowly pulled towards the other boy, a soft smile slowly formed across his face. The music of the party drifts to their isolated balcony, the tune becoming more and more embedded in his mind.
Kalim hums a familiar tune, one Silver cant exactly place his finger on. Still, he hums, and softly sings as he guides Silver.
Kalim loves dancing. Kalim loves singing. Silver loves him.
Silver was gently guided and the two sway together, drifting around the balcony. With messy steps, the two try to incorporate their own versions of dancing into their dance. Their fingers stay intertwined the whole way through. Slowly, it feels like the world fades away, and it’s just the two of them.
You’re goregous, Silver thinks, as Kalim spins them around, laughing.
I will never meet someone as wonderful as you again, Silver thinks, as Kalim drags him along.
How did I get so lucky, Silver thinks, as Kalim pulls him closer.
Silver is no expert on love. In fact, he’s clueless. But if he had to describe it, he would say love was the way he sees Kalim in the moonlight, right at this moment. Love was real. and it was Kalim revelling in the glory of the moonlit night.
The night crowds the two, watching them find a rhythm, laughing and smiling all the way. Their dancing is clumsy, with one who’s used to more freestyle dancing, and one who’s used to more formal dancing. It feels clumsy, it feels unsure, and they’re having trouble synchronising, but it feels right. Like their own kind of dance. With time, they find their own harmony, moving to their own beat.
Kalim looks so ethereal right now, bathed in the moonlight’s gentle embrace. It’s like the moonlight’s kissing him softly, like even it knows just how lovely Kalim is. There’s a part of Silver that wants to stand and stare in awe at Kalim until his eyes become blind from the pure light that Kalim emits. It’s silly to think, really, but Silver can’t help it.
He looks goregous, absolutely beautiful. A beautiful in a sort of subtle way, something you’d only see in this moment. They’re dancing on the balcony, with the moonlight highlighting Kalim’s features, Kalim’s eyes, Kalim’s nose, his cheeks, his soft lips, his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, his everything. Kalim smiles so warmly and so softly, Silver almost feels himself melt knowing it’s directed towards him and only him. In this moment, he’s the most goregous person Silver’s ever seen.
Kalim is beautiful, maybe not beautiful like Vil Schoenheit, or Neige LeBlanche, or all those other models and actors. But he’s his own kind of beautiful, a different kind. One that Silver can find himself really admiring, and wanting.
Silver’s admired Kalim before, countless times even, but never like this. Never like this.
When Kalim lets go, Silver takes it as his cue to let go, too, and he feels the world return to him. His hands almost linger a bit too long. Silver wonders, for just a moment, if Kalim would’ve minded.
(cant we just stay here for a little bit, kalim? why don’t we dance the night away, like it’s just the two of us. like it’s just the two of us in our own little world. would that be okay?)
Despite how late it is, Silver feels wide awake. Kalim glitters in the moonlight, the beacon of light in the dark.
“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Kalim says, and Silver notices how Kalim’s hands almost reach towards his. Silver feels himself smiling even more and nodding.
Kalim lights up the room with such ease like he’s never seen the dark, illuminating the night with just one smile. He embraces the void and loneliness of the night with all he is, his cheer and vigor, reassuring you that he’ll be the light to guide you home, to guide you when you’re lost.
“Yeah, it was,” Silver agrees, and he sees the way Kalim lights up. “We should do it again some time.”
“We definitely should! Just let me know when!” Kalim smiles, his voice enthusiastic. Silver gazes at him with fondness.
He did that. He placed that smile on Kalim’s face. It’s almost silly how giddy Silver feels at the mere mention of making Kalim happy. The two sat down in comfortable silence, with just the two of them appreciating each other’s company. With this, Silver really takes the time to think about his thoughts on Kalim.
No one’s ever compared Kalim to the moon. Kalim’s always said to be the sun. Silver gets them. Kalim is bright and warm just like the sun, yes, but Silver’s always thought he was more like the moon.
Kalim, Kalim, Kalim, his thoughts repeat like a mantra.
Kalim lights the path for those who need it, he guides Silver home. He’s always there, even if he needs to hide sometimes, he’ll always come back. He’s the sliver of light when things are completely dark.
He is all that the moon is, he embodies it all.
Maybe Kalim is flawed, imperfect, but so is the moon, full of flaws and imperfections, yet still so tantalising, so calming, so goregous, so full of grace and passion. There’s a sort of beauty, a perfection, in Kalim’s imperfection, as strange as it sounds.
Of course, Silver isn’t the sun. He could never be. To him, he’s more like the ocean. He gravitates towards him, but Kalim’s too far away to reach.
To Silver, it feels like he really has seen the darkest depths of the sea. He’s felt what being chained down, sinking further and further. As long as Kalim is beside him, Silver will never let him sink. He will never fall to the bottom, unable to tell which way is up and which way is down.
When Silver is with Kalim, he feels afloat, far from the bottom of the sea. When Kalim is beside him, Silver feels alive. No amount of water, no matter how far they’ve sunken, will take that way from him.
Kalim reminds Silver that this feeling, love, isn’t meant to hurt. He owes so many things to Kalim, and that boy doesn’t even know it. You will never sink, Kalim, you will never sink to the bottom, not as long as you’re with me, Silver thinks.
Silver loves Lilia. He loves Sebek. He loves Malleus. He loves animals. He loves fencing. Hell, he loves a lot of things and people. All of their love and his love is just as important to him as the love he feels for Kalim, but it’s not the same. Kalim’s different, he brings a different feeling to Silver, one that he can’t explain.
It’s not that Kalim is the focal point of his existence. It’s not that Silver needs Kalim. It’s more like Kalim brings an extra bit of brightness to his day, someone who compliments him, instead of completing him. He doesn’t need Kalim. He wants Kalim. He wants to be by Kalim’s side, and for Kalim to be by his side.
Silver’s completely, utterly, smitten, almost bewitched by Kalim‘s beauty. He’s blessed, he thinks, he must be blessed, to be given a chance to revel in Kalim’s glory and moonlight.
But just like the moon, Kalim is too far for him to ever reach. So Silver will love him from afar, just like the ocean, waiting and waiting for the day Kalim will say those 3 words he’s been wanting to hear for so long.
“It’s getting late, huh, Silver?” Kalim comments, standing up to turn and look around at his surroundings. It had already been night before, but it seemed as if the party was ending.
“We should probably get going,” Kalim says, and Silver nods along, “it was really really fun being with you, Silver!”
“You as well, Kalim. I’ll take you up on that offer soon. I really enjoyed being with you, even if it was quiet,” Silver says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yep! See you tomorrow, Silver!” He says, waving goodbye.
The moon and stars have always been Silver’s first love; it makes sense Kalim would be too.
It’s always been too far away, too far, so Kalim mimics the moon and in this moment, he feels far away. Kalim could never leave him, could never stray so far away, but the feeling feels so real in this moment Silver almost can’t tell. Even so, if the day ever comes that Silver and Kalim must part ways, he will continue to shine like the moon in Silver’s memories. Bright and blinding, but he doesn’t mind it at all.
For now, though, Kalim walks away. Silver almost reaches forward.
“Hey, Kalim,” Silver hears himself say.
“Hmm?” Kalim turns around, tilting his head at Ailver in curiosity. “Did you need something, Silver?”
“Nothing,” Silver says, “I just wanted to hear you say my name.”
Almost.