Chapter Text
February 3rd, 2020
Tim’s heart is beating out of his chest as he walks through the halls of the hospital with purpose.
He’d left for two hours.
Two hours.
Two fucking hours.
And he knows, logically, that nothing would have changed even if he had been here. He couldn’t have stopped this. He couldn’t have changed anything.
But he feels like he should have been here.
He grips the edge of the door and uses it to propel himself into Lucy’s hospital room, and he’s never been more thankful for the badge or the uniform before, because not a single nurse or doctor had stopped him or even questioned why he was here.
Lucy sees him, and the look in his eyes, and she knows that he knows.
“Hey,” she whispers, and she’s been admitted, Tim can tell, because she’s in a gown and there’s a paper bracelet on her wrist.
Tim doesn’t speak.
He can’t speak.
“So, um, they said I’m lucky I came in when I did, so… I guess that some good came out of that damn needle. And… well, they’ve admitted me for more testing. They said that if it’s confined to my uterus then they can just do surgery and I’ll be fine. You know, other than losing the chance to ever have a family of my own. I guess that’s lucky, they said? But… if it’s spread…”
Tom swallows hard, his eyes never leaving hers as she speaks.
He can see the tears in her eyes. She’s stubbornly refusing to let them fall, because she’s one of the strongest women he’s ever known, but he sees them and he hates what they represent.
“If it’s spread then I’m just really, really fucked.”
Tim stares at her blankly for a long time, and when he finally does speak, his voice cracks.
“Lucy.”
And Lucy’s chest hurts because he can’t say her name like that.
He can’t.
He can’t call her Lucy in that tone of voice, or she’s going to lose what little self control she has left.
She needs to be Officer Chen or even Boot right now. She needs Tim to be her TO, her superior, and not … this.
“I’ll be out for at least the week,” she says, voice small. “For testing and… well, whichever direction we decide to go treatment wise. If it’s surgery I’ll be out longer and I won’t graduate from the rookie program with Nolan and Jackson.”
Tim knows what she’s trying to do.
She’s trying to focus on work, on anything but what’s happening to herself, but he can’t shake himself out of it. He can’t think of anything except the words Jackson had messaged him before being called away.
Uterine cancer.
“Lucy,” he whispers again, and he finally peels his fingers off of the door frame and walks closer, stopping a few feet from her bed. “Fuck the rookie program. All that matters… all that matters now is you getting healthy. The program isn’t going anywhere. I’ll… I’ll still be here, waiting with the Tim Tests and everything else you hate about being my boot. When you’re healthy, you can come right back, and we’ll finish your training.”
When.
God, he hopes it’s when.
Lucy smiles and shrugs (and she wants to believe him, she does, she’s just not sure she can. She’s not sure she’s making it out of this one).
She plays with the edge of the coarse hospital blanket, and Tim immediately wants to bring her a softer blanket, because she’s going to be here a while and she should be comfortable, damn it.
“Uh, I can bring you some things,” he says, because he would bet his entire life savings that Lucy has a plethora of soft, cozy blankets at her apartment. He can grab one and some clothes and other comfort items for her.
“OK,” Lucy whispers, and she doesn’t even think about how it would be much less weird to have Jackson or Nolan grab her things. “I mean, yeah, that would be nice. I’m probably not leaving here for a while.”
Tim nods and he wants to step even closer to her, to comfort her in some way, when there’s a knock at her door.
“Hey, Ms. Chen. It’s time to take you to CT and MRI. You ready?”
Lucy turns to Tim, terror in her eyes, but nods.
“Yeah, sure,” she whispers, and the nurse smiles as she walks around Lucy’s bed, disconnecting her IV and monitors, tucking the wires into the top of the bed before kicking a lever to release the brakes.
“This will take a while,” the nurse cautions Tim, and he nods, resting his hands on his utility belt.
“I can go and get your stuff, Lucy. Anything … anything specific that you want from your place?”
Lucy shrugs and shakes her head, and Tim can see how truly terrified she is even though she’s doing her best to hide it.
“Thanks,” she whispers, and Tim nods, stepping out of the way as the nurse wheels Lucy out of the room.
He watches as long as he can, but they eventually disappear around a corner, and Tim is left alone in the empty hospital room, feeling more terrified and scared than he has been since the night Isabel left.