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He is looking for you.
You have been avoiding him for almost two weeks, and the reason behind your sudden change of behaviour is too painful to say out loud even when you are alone.
Today is the fifteenth day in which, every time he enters a room where you're in, you decide to leave. If he manages in some miraculous way to talk to you and asks you to meet him somewhere, you ignore him. You have also been cancelling training sessions, and three days ago you didn't want to accompany him on his last mission, choosing to stay with Master Kenobi instead.
Today he's had enough, and you can sense the determination in his mind from miles away. He is going to find you and ask you what the hell is wrong with you, what is wrong with his Padawan. And you're terrified of what your answer will be.
Forty three minutes after he asks the younglings where you are and then manages to see through the lies you have lectured the children so they can mislead him away from your whereabouts, he finds you in one of the many rooms of the Jedi Temple. He doesn't even know what this place is used for, because it doesn't look like it's used very often, but you're there and finally, finally after two whole weeks he feels like he can breathe again. But he also feels angry.
"Where have you been?" He asks, and even though he tries not to, his voice sounds harsh. The look in your eyes pains him, but he forces himself to continue. "You've been ignoring me for days, and now you hide from me. What is going on, (y/n)?"
You don't answer. You know that if you do, you'll tell him the truth and everything will be lost.
Anakin Skywalker has been your Master for the last three years. He took you in after your former Master tragically died in combat, and since then he's been nothing but everything you have.
At first you thought it was just a deep feeling of admiration. His appealing personality and his high knowledge of the Force and the Jedi way were enough to make you feel like you wanted to go with him everywhere, learn everything you could from him, so you could make him proud. You thought all Padawans felt like this about their Masters, but then you remembered that, even though you admired your former Master, with Anakin wasn't the same.
And the moment he hugged you for the first time after you almost died in the middle of a mission, six months ago, you knew you were screwed up.
Now you have finally accepted to yourself that you would kill and die for him, that he's the air in your lungs and your will to live. You know that you love him in a scandalous, non-Jedi way, and you also know that if you tell him, you'll lose him forever.
That's the reason why, when you answer him, you decide to lie shamelessly.
"I don't want to be your Padawan anymore." You whisper, and your eyes swell with hot tears.
Anakin looks taken aback for a few seconds, then a great amount of pain flashes through his beautiful eyes. And when he's about to answer, you speak again.
"Don't ask me the reason, you don't want to know." You say, and this time the tears are running free over your cheeks. You wipe them off with your sleeve before adding: "Just leave me alone."
He keeps standing there for what seems like several minutes, and all that time you can feel the waves of anger and desperation coming off him through the Force. You can sense him all the time, everywhere, because your connection in the Force is so strong that sometimes it almost scares you. You can feel what he feels in the same way you can predict his movements.
That's why you're not surprised, if not annoyed, when he walks towards you and kneels by your side. All you need right now is for him to stay away, but your Master is as stubborn as you are, and apparently he's not leaving until he can coax an answer out of you.
When you raise your head and look at him, you can see his eyes are also full of tears and you hate yourself for hurting him. You want to wipe his tears away with kisses, but you know it's impossible and that makes you cry harder.
"I said leave me alone!" You cry the moment he decides to come closer. You put your hands on his chest and push, but Anakin is too strong and you're a weak, crying mess.
"(Y/n)..." He whispers, caressing your hair. "Sweetheart, talk to me. Please. I just want to help you."
You don't answer, you don't say a single word as he sits on the floor by your side and then pulls you towards his body, placing you between his legs. Anakin keeps caressing your hair with one hand and your left arm with the other, and you know he's trying to comfort you, but you're burning inside. His touch alone makes you feel things you never knew it was possible to feel. That's why you pull away from him and, after a few seconds, you look him in the eyes.
He's disoriented and in pain, and that pain is what makes you think that it may be necessary to tell him the truth. Maybe, telling him that you love him with all your pathetic little soul will ease the ache in your heart and his, even if that means that you will be kicked out of the Order and he will hate you forever.
There's no escape from your feelings. Just say it, you coward.
And that's the moment you decide to jump into your fate. Time seems to stop for a brief moment when you finally speak.
"I'm in love with you."
Your voice is barely above a whisper, but you know he heard you. For a few long seconds he says nothing, and you feel your whole world falling into pieces. Your chest feels as if it's being crushed under all the galaxy's weight and the lump in your throat gets worse as the time passes by.
Looking anywhere but him, you accept the consequences of your actions. You just lost everything you cared for, everything you loved, and there’s no coming back from the decision you’ve made. Everything is over.
But then, after some more time of agony and silent tears falling down your cheeks, you feel Anakin’s long fingers grabbing you softly by the chin. He makes you look at him, and his eyes seem even more blue behind the tears. His lips are parted, his whole face full of a thousand emotions you’re sure he can’t process yet.
Then he does something that you never thought possible in the real world, only in your wildest dreams.
He kisses you.
Softly, as if he’s trying not to hurt you, as if you are a doll made of the finest porcelain. But that doesn’t make the kiss less passionate. He presses his plump lips into yours, and when you don’t put up resistance, he deepens the kiss, making you whimper into his mouth, prompting a soft laugh out of him. The bastard is melting you with his kiss and he laughs. The audacity.
Anakin kisses you for what seems like a long time, he kisses you with passion and desperation, making you feel things you’ve never felt before. His touch and his feelings flowing through the Force make you euphoric and you feel genuinely loved for the first time in your entire life.
Stars explode behind your closed eyes when he caresses your waist with his flesh hand; you fall down the abyss the moment his lips attach to your jaw and then your neck, but you know he’s there holding you, protecting you, finally loving you. His lips are on yours again before you can say anything, before you can ask him how the hell is this possible and why he didn't say anything before.
When you softly pull away from him, looking for much needed breath, his lips are parted and a bit swollen, shining with the remains of your kiss, and your chest fills up with pride at that image.
You’re still so close, just inches away from each other. Your lips brush with his at the same time his blue gaze looks into your eyes with adoration.
“You don’t have to love me back, you know?” you whisper, suddenly feeling insecure. What if this is just a dream? What if you’re imagining the whole thing? “I know- I know we shouldn’t. I know it’s dangerous and I’m just a stupid-”
Something within you makes you desperate to tell him that it’s okay if this kiss was a mistake. That part of your mind that makes you despise yourself forces you to reassure him that it’s okay if he doesn’t want you, it’s okay if he just kissed you out of pity. You’ll bear the pain, you’ll live with it if that means you’re still allowed to see him everyday.
But then, before you can say another word, his husky voice interrupts you. And he sounds so full of tenderness, of something that easily could be love.
“How could I not love you back, (Y/n)?” He says.
And in that exact moment your fate is sealed. You love Anakin Skywalker with your entire soul and he loves you back. You know deep in your heart that wherever he goes you will follow, even if he ends up leading you to your downfall.