Work Text:
Clock hits 11:30 pm when jungkook finally gets up from the couch of his living room where he was sitting beside a lamp.
A sigh leaves his mouth when he glance at moon peeking through open windows, a city rush invading the deafening silence of room.
He looses his tie and pops open his cuff buttons, descending to his room thinking how hard he tried to perfectly tie this for their special day.
His wedding anniversary.
A formal dinner, at one of the most famous hotel, taehyung's favourite, after squeezing out time from taehyung's busy schedule.
Kim taehyung, one of the biggest rising actor of south korea, who had a breakthrough from advertisements and became a renowned celebrity signing contracts from dramas to brands.
Jungkook was ecstatic when he found about him signing for 3 dramas and ad shoots, this month. He was delighted when he saw the happiness, that boxy smile of his husband, when he told him about this.
Jungkook was with taehyung when he dreamed to be an actor.
He supported his choice of acting classes over art degree which he left midway after not being supported by his parents financially, to achieve his dream.
Jungkook was with him when he got his first opportunity as a model for a tv ad, even it was for a local tv ad, how joyous moment it was it for them.
Taehyung had bought promise bracelets with his first salary for them, promising to have eachother by their side.
Jungkook couldn't be more happier. He knew they have eachother but the efforts made it more beautiful and intact. This made jungkook to promise himself, to present beside taehyung whenever and in whatever he needs him.
As promised, jungkook stood beside taehyung at alter, taking vows for life and to have eachother till death and beyond.
Saying those three words for forever to engrave its meaning in their lives.
But it looks like it was only jungkook who was and is with him.
After marriage their bond does grew and so does taehyung's work.
His success hiked and he got numerous modelling and supporting actor contracts for dramas.
Jungkook thought his wedding life would be full of spending time with Taehyung and loving eachother like the domestic couples do in some of dramas which taehyung acts in.
But his life turned to be an actual kdrama with his main character too busy fighting and living a life, to focus on his loved one.
I love you.
The three words easily said in dramas after main leads find eachother, took place of another three.
I am sorry.
The first time he heard those were when he told jungkook that they had to cancel their honeymoon trip on last minute, after he got called as a runway model in a fashion show.
It's for his career.
They have whole life, he have taehyung to spend his whole life with.
It's just for this once.
They never made to that trip.
Taehyung's career hiked graphs after his handsome and photographic features allured various brands to showcase their products.
Jungkook was and is fan of his.
His handsome face adorned with his favourite moles at the most suitable places.
He loves staring it, cuddled up under the sheets of their bedroom, their limbs entangled.
Jungkook stares at same handsome face now too, but the only difference was, it's through the phone screen, on videochats because taehyung travels cities to shoot and for his contract.
Phone calls goes on for half an hours if jungkook was lucky enough, and taehyung wasn't tired enough, but ends with the same three words he had made himself used to.
I am sorry.
Jungkook found the apology reasonable.
It's for his health. His carrer matters more for now, his health matters more.
Jungkook loves to keep souvenirs of important events like he did that with promise bracelet, even if it broke one day because he was in a rush to catch a bus to work.
Sure does the bracelet had broken but the promise didn't.
I am sorry.
Said taehyung, when he forgot where he left that precious thread of promise, his bracelet, after coming from an outdoor shoot of his drama.
Although it did hurt jungkook, he didn't overreact. He shouldn't be a materialistic person and materialize emotions.
Efforts matters.
Taehyung matters.
When the series of exchanging i love you's become sorry's jungkook didn't complaint.
He tried to fulfill love from both the sides like a directionless boat trying hard to survive in storm.
Despite of their relationship sinking in drought of love, he paddled more and more to reach his paradise.
His taehyung.
Those three words, unlike the one he wants to hear, are more convincing.
That actually make him feel that taehyung is trying, trying his best for him.
But.
But today jungkook got nothing.
Nothing but silence.
No sorry's, nothing.
Today, Jungkook personally made calls to taehyung's manager asking him to make his schedule free this evening at sharp 8 pm.
He arranged a formal dinner at taehyung's favourite restaurant they always wanted to go together, but never did.
He fixed a custom made suit, with a tie, because taehyung loves ties.
Jungkook learned how to tie it, as a surprise and to do so with taehyung's, in future.
He was excited.
After forgetting all of their past mistakes, the long list of sorries and broken promises, he decided to begin their present again.
For their better future ahead.
Dressed in black suit, with crisp tie on his neck, jungkook sits on couch of his living room at 7:30 pm.
Say it early, but he's too excited for their little date after what felt like years and he doesn't want to waste even a second.
After few minutes of fuzzing around, checking himself after every five minutes, whether his hair is perfect or not, he saw clock which shows half past eight in night.
It's jungkook, who's early.
He shakes his head at his foolishness and sits again, this time playing that lame game which he used to play in his free time.
Taehyung always told him that he got so much invested in it that he forget about time.
And so he did.
At 9:12 pm after dying quite a few times he quits the game and checks his phone history and text inbox.
Nothing.
Jungkook concerns about taehyung, since he never gets late.
His profession had taught him to be punctual.
Jungkook tries his number to ask his whereabouts, which goes in vain when he was sent to voicemail.
He put his phone down and goes to his little balcony area, he decorated with a seater swing and small plants to give a homey look.
Jungkook stares at nowhere in the night sky, moon shining not too brightly.
City lights of skyscrapers has dimmed it's glow but it's still visible for his sanity.
Taehyung had bought this apartment in the middle of city to be accustomed to city life and rush.
Jungkook wouldn't agree more.
He then looks down at rather busy road infront, with traffic building because it was a rush hour.
People still going home from their work, families going for outing cause it's friday night.
Jungkook tries not to choke up from his emotions on this.
Family.
He has it and yet it feels so foreign concept to him.
He turns away and stands with the support of railing at his back, a sigh escaping his mouth.
Something important must have came up.
Important?
Is there anything more important than him? His family? His love?
Taehyung have already became distant enough, to be called as family.
Their home, feels like an abandoned one, with no family to reside within.
Taehyung was too busy securing his future with money he made, he forgot to secure his present, his love.
The life, jungkook thought would be full of love, happiness and taehyung, are now full of sorries, sorrow and without taehyung.
He takes his leave from balcony and sits on couch, putting his head on hands.
It's too much.
He had enough of left alone in this big apartment, lonely and too cold for him without the wramth of love.
This inner thoughts of not being perfect and taehyung not loving him anymore are eating him alive like vultures.
He pulls his hair roots, feeling suffocated, abandoned like this hom- house.
In process of loving taehyung more, even from his side jungkook forgot to love himself.
To care about himself.
His eyes fills with unshed tears with the hate for how taehyung's thoughts always occupys his mind.
The possibilities of what he's doing or what not rather than his own goals for a day.
He breathes deeply to prevent himself from breaking down.
He's done forgetting himself in remembering taehyung more.
He stands up and lossen tie which felt like it's enclosing his throat by each passing second.
He wants to live too, not only breath but to feel alive too.
He pushed open his cuffs buttons, which felt more like restrains above his wrists, like a prisoner.
He decends towards his room, the only place he should be now and burry himself in sheets, until he exhaust himself to sleep thinking about everything running in his mind.
He wants to free himself of this pain, this baggage he's carrying which increases every time taehyung says-
"I am sorry"