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Jinx woke up slowly more tired than she was when she fell asleep and covered in sweat. This had been her life for the past seven years. Feeling something before bed, dreaming about it pleasantly, only for it to turn into a nightmare that ended up with her screaming as she woke up drenched in sweat and filled with regret.
What was this dream?
It started simple enough. She and Ekko ran in a field of white lilies, hand in hand, laughing without a care in the world. They reach a cliff. There's blood. Ekko falls. She grabs him, but can't hold on. No, she doesn't want to hold on so she lets him go. He falls. She cries as she watches him fall into the darkness. As he falls, he never screams. She only saw a lone tear fall from his eye as he looked at her with disappointment. Not fear as she would expect and his disappointment is like a dagger into her heart.
Over the years, the dream had gotten longer...more violent, sadder, and unbearable. It kept her from sleeping properly. Its effects had begun to seep into her life in unexpected ways. Hesitation. Speculation. Thoughts of seeing him more often. Ekko probably thought she couldn't recognize him with his mask on, but he was wrong. She could recognize him anywhere. There was something about the way he moved, the way he looked at her. She didn't need to see his face.
"Hi," she'd often say before launching into her usual attack patterns.
Careful.
Every attack was carefully considered in order to not hurt him. Appearances were everything in her world. Sevika and Silco had to believe. She had to believe that he was nothing, but...but that could never be true. No one had to know. No one could know. She'd make sure of that.
Appearances.
Silco constantly lectured her on this. To do their job as efficiently as possible, it was important for everyone around them to believe there was a certain amount of comfort. A familiarity that allowed others to lower their guard. She didn't believe it at first, but for as long as she had been holding on to her secret about the Firelights and their leader, it was clear he was right. Neither Silco nor Sevika ever suspected that she knew more than she was telling them. That she sometimes held back even for a fraction of a second to allow Ekko and his precious group to escape. How sometimes she'd sneak away to watch him from afar. To dream about what could have been. To hold on to his memory at night. To...imagine him touching her.
Sometimes the thought would bring her to tears. Other days she'd well up with so much rage at how shitty her life was. Her emotional state fluctuated constantly. Recently, she had even killed one of Ekko's Firelights because she was Vi...no, she looked like Vi. Vi was dead! Silco told her she was. Not that she believed it, but it was convenient to believe. It kept her from searching. For a brief moment, that rage overcame her. Ekko got to watch as she lost a part of herself. She wasn't proud of it. She knew better. It was one more reason for him to hate her.
She was sure he hated her. In her dreams, she could see him. That anger in his eyes...that usual disappointment. Jinx had lost count of how many Firelights she had killed over the years. She had convinced herself this couldn't be helped. Appearances. If Silco suspected she was going soft on them, then he'd want to know why.
What could she tell him?
The truth?
There was no way she could do that. If Ekko didn't hate her now, he'd definitely hate her then. Deep in her mind, she wondered why that mattered. She had already murdered many of his brethren. Somehow she didn't feel like she had crossed that terrifying river of no return. But telling Silco about the Firelights and what she knew...would be the end of any hope of reconciliation between the two of them. Silco would not be merciful. He would destroy Ekko in cold blood...or he would make Ekko a murderer. If Ekko killed Silco or Silco killed Ekko, what would that mean for her? The very thought sent a shiver down her spine. No matter what, she never wanted to find out.
No, the Firelights had to die sometimes in order for them to survive. For Ekko to live the way he wanted. For her to avoid more pain, and more suffering. She hoped they understood this. Maybe Ekko could understand. Maybe he did. That didn't change her dreams. He still haunted her.
Watching Ekko charge at her rolled through her mind countless times. How she wanted to go back in time to do something different, but couldn't. There was no way she could avoid jinxing him or his friends. That's who she was. That was all she could be.
As another night of relentless hell ended for her, Jinx lay in her bed with her arm over her eyes as tears streamed down her now sweat-covered face.
"Please forgive me, Ekko. I'm sorry," she mumbled to herself in a whisper.
* * * * * * * * * *
What did it mean to love someone?
Jinx didn't know. There were books that explained it as a feeling you got in your stomach. When your heart beats faster than normal whenever you saw the person in question. When you would do anything to be with them. A yearning for their company. Thinking about them would make you happy. They're the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night. The very thought of it made her think of suffocation.
Who thinks about someone that much?
It seemed exhausting. Not that she could really complain as she was already exhausted. Whatever rest she could eke out daily was barely enough to allow for her sanity to hold together. Thinking about someone that often on top of that didn't seem practical.
She was going to have to rethink everything after she saw that Vi was alive. Worse still, she was taken by...him. Silco lied. Vi wasn't dead, she was very much alive and had found someone else to spend her life with...an enforcer. She was everything Jinx wasn't. Tall. Beautiful. Rich. He had taken her, too. Along with the gemstone, she had worked so hard to steal.
Her world was crumbling around her. Everything she had built for herself. The farce that was her life was unraveling. Silco would know she was a failure. Vi would know she was a failure. Ekko...knew she was a failure. It wasn't necessary for him to learn that lesson. The way he taunted her whenever they met. It was a reminder from him. Salt ground into an old wound, only that wound would never heal. He made sure it didn't. Even seeing him standing on that building with his smoke bomb raised as he pierced into her soul grounded her down to nothing but a spec. Letting her know he had the upper hand. That he was there to take everything she had built up for herself. Without remorse. Without question. Without mercy.
It hurt.
It stung.
It filled her with rage.
She had even done her best not to kill more of his people. After the other night, she had made a vow to herself to avoid more bloodshed between them. She wasn't sure why, but every time she killed one of them, she'd visit the city to tag walls. Not to the Firelights specifically, but to Ekko. An apology, of sorts. A letter in pictures to express how she felt. If anyone would understand, it would be him. The fact that he never engaged her on that roof told her that maybe, just maybe, he had gotten her message. His reluctance to attack her directly was a sign he also wanted her to understand.
A lesson on how much better he was, how much he wanted her to suffer...how much he hated her.
Her next move had to be planned correctly and swiftly. She knew Ekko would never harm Vi or her enforcer. Caitlyn was her name. She had made sure not to forget it again. They would need to return the gemstone to the Council. That would mean crossing the bridges into Piltover. A perfect spot for an ambush.
A wave of relief washed over her. There was a real chance she could salvage her reputation. A chance to show Vi how capable she was now. How much her enforcer bitch meant nothing when compared to her. And when she saw how much Jinx had improved, Vi would run to her and forget everything else.
Was that love?
Jinx nodded to herself in satisfaction. "Of course, it was."
There was no way it could be anything else.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jinx lay on Singed's operating table. Broken. Beaten. Dejected. Frustrated. Angry. But most of all, lost. The images of her life swirled around her as she lay prone on some hard surface. Everything hurt, including her pride. Vi had left her for...for...for...that enforcer. Caitlyn. While she lay on her death bed, what was Vi doing? Kissing her girlfriend's face off? Dreaming how her little sister was a failure. She could see the visions of Caitlyn mocking her. Taunting her. Taking whatever pride she had left and shattering it on the ground. Sevika was right. Vi really didn't love her.
The world spun around her as she held on for dear life. Spinning and spinning like a top that would never fall. No matter how much someone pulled or pushed, it held firm. Dragging whatever or whoever into its abyss.
Something was going on with her body. There were pains where there shouldn't be pains. Throbbing in places that shouldn't throb. She earned this torture. This torment. This was her penance. Retribution from the forces that tie the universe together for her folly in believing she could snatch victory out of the hands of defeat.
Her mind wandered. Her nightmare was clawing at the back of her mind, waiting for her to pass into the dream world where it would finally take hold. Make her see the world as it peeled back the layers of her failures. Flaunting them in her face while she was helpless to defend herself.
She focused on Caitlyn and Vi, because it was easy. Easy to blame them. She wanted to blame them. It was all Vi's fault. If Vi hadn't shown up with her enforcer girlfriend, then the delicate dance she and Ekko shared could have stayed that way. She would live with the fact that he hated her. She could live with his hatred even though she didn't hate him. Blaming Vi was a way to protect her heart from the true pain of that bridge experience. One she didn't want to confront, but Vi made her. Forced her. What was worse was that Vi did the damage and never looked back. Never cared what confronting him meant. No one did. Not even she knew.
Slowly, she could feel herself drifting off.
* * * * * * * * * *
Powder and Ekko were running through a field of white lilies. She was happy. The happiest she had ever been. Being with him filled her with something she had always wanted...acceptance. Unconditional. Unflinching. That smile on his face bewitched and captivated her. She couldn't look away. There was no running from him. He was there. Holding her hand. Journeying together into the unknown. Her free hand carefully glided over the tops of the flowers feeling that soft tickle brush across her palm. A signifier that she was alive and not alone.
Then there it was. The terrifying rain of blood. Warm to the touch. Turning Ekko's white hair red. Staining the earth with Silco's monogram while his poor eye glared at them from across the vast emptiness that lay before them.
Ekko turned to her. "Powder, don't worry. I'll protect you. Stay behind me."
"I can't!" she screamed. "You'll die!"
"Don't worry, Powder. I'll protect you, no matter what."
The hideous laughter of Silco reverberated through the field as what appeared to be the edge of their reality began to fold in on itself. It started slow, but began to pick up speed quickly. Ekko moved back, pushing Powder to the ground.
"I'm here Powder! Stay with me. I'll make you happy, I promise."
Powder crawled forward to grab Ekko's hand without him knowing only for the insane laughter to stop followed by Vi's voice. "You are a jinx."
Mylo followed. "You ARE a jinx."
Laughter. Chuckling. Giggling. Mylo's, Vi's, Silco's, and even hers for good measure.
"Don't listen to them Powder!" Ekko yelled. "You're not a jinx. I'm here with you! Believe in me."
The words crashed into her from every direction. She could feel the scathing heat of Mylo's breath on her ear. "You are nothing but...a jinx."
Powder grabbed her head as she writhed on the ground. The voices wouldn't stop. They were relentless in their taunting. Calling for her to fall into the abyss. To tumble in of her own volition. This is a choice she must make alone, they were only there to help her along. To make her decision easier.
Suddenly, there was a hand on her head. A body next to hers. Stroking her calmly. Doing its best to comfort her, but there was so much blood. It covered everything. The white lilies were now red, even the soft glow of light across the emptiness glowed red.
"Hold on, Powder. They can't hurt you. Don't listen to them. Follow my voice. Stay with me."
She didn't know what hit her, but she screamed pushing Ekko to the edge of the cliff. He was holding on for dear life. Quickly, she scrambled to grab ahold of his hand.
"Hold on, Ekko. I'm sorry. I'll pull you up."
Ekko didn't say anything. Only stared at her with sadness and something else she couldn't quite make out.
What was it?
Disappointment.
For what felt like years, they stared at each other. No words were spoken. No tears were shed.
Silco called from the void. "Come, child. We have work to do. We'll show them all."
Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she fought them back. This would be her moment. Her chance to take care of herself. To claim something on her own terms. To prove that she was...a jinx.
Ekko shook his head. His eyes pleading. His other hand reached up to hold on to her.
"I'm sorry, Ekko. Forget about me. Find your own happiness without me."
She let go of his hand and watched him fall into the abyss. Again, no words. Only a tear fell from his eye. Everything was in slow motion. Ekko accepted his fate. Powder fell to the ground in tears. Silco walked up from behind with his hand outstretched.
"You made a wise choice, girl," he said confidently.
Without looking at him she asked, "Why does it hurt so bad?"
He knelt in front of her and wiped the tears from her eyes. "It always does, but even that will come to pass eventually. People like us will always be alone. It's our fate. Don't dwell on those things, because they're meaningless. The only thing we need now is each other."
She nodded, then grabbed his hand.
They walked for a time before a voice she couldn't recognize interrupted their trek. "Are you happy, Jinx?"
Silco looked down at her with caring eyes. "What is it, Jinx?"
"Nothing," she responded.
There were bodies. Bodies of friends. Bodies of enemies. Strewn all over. Their faces were ghastly. The smell of blood was pungent, metallic, and nauseating. Silco strolled through them as if they didn't exist. Never stopping even once to gaze at the destroyed body of Vander.
"Don't look back, Jinx. We only look forward. You gain nothing by reveling in the past. Learn from it, of course, but don't let it consume you. That's a sign of weakness and we don't want that. We have a job to do."
Jinx was older now. More capable. Stronger. The years had been kind to her, but it hadn't been kind to all of the people she had killed. The faces on the bodies as she meekly walked by would turn, give her a grim...almost evil...grin, before falling into a grotesque lump of flesh. The sight would send an eerie chill down her spine.
Finally, they arrived at a throne. One made of bone and skulls of those they had murdered along the way. Women. Men. Children. It didn't matter. She figured they would all find a better chance in the afterlife. The shitty world they lived in did nothing but chew up and spit out the weak. All she was doing was helping them along. Perhaps they would be stronger next time.
"Here we are, Jinx. This is the castle we have built." As Silco sat on the throne, he pointed towards an elaborate building in the distance. "That, girl, is the palace of darkness. It's where our oppressors reside and where we are going to strike next. We'll show them power. Real power. You take that gemstone and show them what us Zaunites are made of. And while they're groveling at our feet, we'll step on them the same way they stepped on us."
Something wet began running down her leg. Shimmer. It glowed against the red moon in the distance, leaking into her shoe, originally. She tried to shake it off, to no avail. "Was this necessary?"
"Of course, it was, Jinx. Everything we do is for the cause. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something important to us to get there. We'll make that sacrifice our strength!"
For some reason, she wasn't really convinced. In her head, the voice toiled again. "Are you happy, Jinx?"
"Are you happy?"
"Are you happy, Jinx?"
"I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be," she yelled defiantly.
Vi stood up. She was standing in the middle of a pile of bodies that included her parents. "Powder, I'm here. I came back for you. Let's go."
"No, I can't. I belong here. This is my home now."
Silco held her hand. "It is. You and I will be everything. What do you need her for? She's already left you for that enforcer."
The enforcer. Caitlyn. Her cackling could be heard in the background. Jumping in and out of the fabric of space. Mocking her.
That voice again. "Are you happy, Powder?"
Happy?
What was that?
What did it mean?
Why did that voice keep asking her?
Slowly, she backed away from Silco and Vi. Both began calling to her as she turned and ran.
"JINX!"
"POWDER!"
The shimmer wouldn't stop flowing over her body. It was making it difficult to run. Her clothes were soaked in it. Her throat was dry. The slopping of her shoes broke her concentration. She stopped and fell to her knees.
"Are you happy, Jinx?"
"Why do you keep asking me that?" she screamed. "Why does it matter? Why does any of this matter?"
There was an image in the distance. A still image. It was hard to see from where she was, but with the shimmer weighing her down the best she could manage was a crawl. As she got closer it became clearer.
Ekko's face. That moment before she dropped the chomp chomp.
He was handsome. More handsome than she had ever imagined. His warm eyes stared at her lovingly. She even spied tears forming in them.
Jinx stopped crawling, did her best to wipe off the shimmer, then stared up at him. Her last memory of his face.
"Are you happy?"
She looked down at her shimmer-drenched hands. "I don't know."
The image of Ekko stared at her. His visage filled her with rage, sorrow, pain, and something else. Something she couldn't put her finger on. It was warm in her heart. Twisted itself in her chest.
A moderate-sized wooden door appeared in front of her. Written across the top was the word, "Truth".
Behind her, she could hear Silco howling. "Don't enter that door!"
Jinx's curiosity took hold.
What could be so bad that Silco wouldn't want her to see?
There was no way it could be bad, because Silco was a liar. Whatever was on the other side must be good.
Silco's footfalls could be heard behind her. She took one more longing look at Ekko's face, before nervously opening the door to peer into the other side. Silco was almost upon her, so she didn't waste any more time and dashed in as the door slammed shut behind her.
She was back in the field of lilies. Only this time she was older. A man standing just ahead of her was facing the opposite direction. His skin was dark. He was wearing an orange scarf.
Ekko!
She ran to him.
Was this the afterlife?
It had to be, because Ekko was with her.
She called out to him. "Ekko! I'm here!"
Slowly the boy turned around. What she saw stopped her cold. The person she thought was Ekko had no face. It was blank. Shrouded by a light mist.
She backed away, but it reached out with a lifeless hand and grabbed her shirt. It was fast, strong, fierce, and empty. Jinx fought as best she could as it slung her over its shoulder while rumbling through the field of lilies towards the cliff. No matter how much she struggled, it would not relinquish its grip.
Once they reached the edge, she whimpered, "Don't...please."
It didn't pause as it tossed her over the cliff.
"How does it feel to be pushed away?" a voice cried out.
Images of her fight with Ekko flashed before her. The left side of her face was numb. She could taste the blood in her mouth. The cold stone of the bridge floor tapped her bare skin. She could feel Ekko's punches connect with her face multiple times.
She whispered, "No."
Everything ground to a halt. She lay there. Petrified. Lost. Alone. A bloodied gloved hand reached down from somewhere to rub a thumb over her bloodied cheek.
"What do you see when you look at me now?"
Jinx remained silent. She covered her eyes with her hands. She didn't want to look at his face again.
"LOOK!" the voice bellowed.
An invisible entity forcefully removed her hands from her eyes.
"You don't get to run this time. You wanted the truth!"
Jinx watched as Ekko's face gradually transformed with so much anger and hatred. His lip curled as she fought him off. Again, he had bested her. Rubbed it in her face. Only this time, he was prepared to kill her.
How? Why?
Ekko was no killer! She was the killer! Jinx. The killer, Jinx.
"This is what you did to me. And for what? Are you happy now? Did you find that happiness you were searching for, Jinx?"
It was then she saw Ekko pause. Something in his eyes triggered her. There was a warmness she hadn't seen from him in a long time. She was sure it didn't exist anymore. He hated her. He made sure to tell her every chance he got. But what she saw in his eyes as he peered into her soul wasn't hatred. It was pain, but more than that, it was love.
Ekko still loved her after everything she had done.
The very thought of it broke her down. Those feelings she got originally returned. First, running along her spine, then piling up in her stomach like a knot.
She sat up and stared into Ekko's eyes once more. She didn't want to admit her realization. The feeling she had bottled up since they were children. That truth she was too scared to face.
She truly loved Ekko.
The blank-faced entity stepped out of the shadows to sit next to her as she lay facing a gray sky. Its face becoming a bit clearer. The mist lightly subsided revealing the faint features of the Ekko she knew.
"I wondered how long it'd take for you to realize, Jinx."
Jinx turned away from him. "I...I saw you fall. I let you fall to your death."
"You did, but it only made me stronger. I told you I'd never leave you. Why didn't you believe me?"
"I wanted to, but what good would I have done back then? You didn't need me."
"You are wrong. I did need you. I still need you."
She closed her eyes as the tears rolled down the side of her face. "You never needed me. You hated me. You taunted me. You're supposed to hate me. I dropped you over a cliff. I left you to die."
The Ekko entity reached over to wipe the dried shimmer from her forehead. "Did I ever tell you that? Did you ever hear me tell you I hated you?"
Flashes of their encounters over the years bombarded her consciousness. Every look they passed between each other. Every laugh they shared. Every battle they had fought with one another. They all laid their truths bare.
Silco could be heard in the background. "People like us are always alone..."
Footsteps getting closer. Wind rustling from behind her. Jinx held Ekko's hand. "Why do I feel this way?"
Ekko briefly flashed a faint smile. "You'll have to figure that one out yourself. I'll be here when you do."
Jinx nodded, then adjusted herself to sit next to Ekko with her head on his shoulder. Time passed with nothing but the two of them hand in hand staring contemplatively at the lumbering sunset.
"He'll leave you, Jinx. They always leave us."
More footsteps.
Jinx looked up to see Silco standing above them. Gun in hand...pointing at Ekko. She stood up to get between them. "What are you doing?"
"I'm freeing you of this nonsense. Do you think he'll stay with you? He'll leave...just like everyone else in your life."
"But Vi came back. Ekko is... Ekko will..."
"He'll what? Love you back? Stay with you? Don't be droll, girl. You know better than anyone what will happen in the future."
Jinx turned to glance at Ekko who was still sitting on the ground, arms folded in front of him, eyes closed, and in a meditative state. "No. Ekko wouldn't leave me. He loves me. I love him."
Silco began laughing maniacally. "Love? Love is for the weak. Are you weak, Jinx?"
"No..."
"I know. I didn't train you to be weak. We are the strong and the strong remove the weak from the world." He pushed Jinx aside, then fired multiple rounds into Ekko's chest.
"NO!" Jinx screamed, reaching to hold Ekko's body before it disappeared. "Why?"
"I told you, Jinx. We get rid of the weak. We have no use for them. I was tired of his useless prattle. Come. Let's go home."
Jinx stood there, steadfast, unable to move as the blood from Ekko still stained the cold ground he was sitting on. "I can't. I have to find him."
Silco scoffed while turning to walk away from her. "Come with me, Jinx. Our job isn't over."
"You're a liar. A murderer. You killed him..."
Faint laughter erupted in the distance as Silco disappeared into the horizon. "If I'm a murderer, then what are you?"
She was alone. There was no one to hold her hand. No one to comfort her. She stood in silence for a time, before the dread overtook her sensibilities.
"Ekko!" she called deliriously. "Ekko! Please come back! Please help me!"
Silence. There was nothing but silence.
Jinx fell to the ground, defeated, tired, worn out, and completely spent. Mylo was standing on the horizon. Next to him was Claggor. One by one more people began to fill out next to or behind the pair. Enforcers. Firelights. People she didn't recognize. The woman who looked like Vi stood next to Claggor.
Mylo cracked a menacing grin. "You're worthless. You can never do anything right. Always failing. You couldn't even kill Little Man when you had the chance. He is better than you. Look where you're at now. A jinx. Always a jinx."
The weight of Mylo's words dropped her to her knees. "Ekko! Please..."
Silence. The deafening silence. She wanted to die, then. End her misery forever. Start fresh in the afterlife. That's what she wanted, but Ekko stopped her. Again, he threw a wrench in her plan.
Why? Why would he do that?
Whimpering, she called one last time, "Someone... Help me."
In front of her appeared a firelight. Fluttering in the distance without a care in the world. It flew to a newly formed patch of white light, getting caught up in its brilliance. The combination of green and white light was breathtaking.
As she approached it, a familiar gloved hand reached out from the light, and opened in front of her.
"Are you happy, Jinx?"
No, she wasn't, but the moment she touched his hand...she was.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jinx sat on the edge of the makeshift operating table. Flustered. Tired. Everything still hurt. The remnants of that hellish nightmare still swirling around in her head. She could hear running water behind her.
She turned around to see Singed washing his hands. "Ah, you're awake now. How do you feel?"
Rubbing her eyes, she responded callously. "I feel like shit."
Singed turned off the water to examine her directly. "Considering your previous condition, I'd say that's a stark improvement."
She carefully slid off of the table using it as a way to balance herself against the weakness of her legs. Silco was sprawled out in a chair next to Singed.
Noticing where she was looking, Singed said, "Don't worry about him. I gave him a little something to help his nerves during the process. He'll return to normal shortly."
"I...I don't really want to see him right now."
"Then I would suggest you take your leave," he recommended.
"What did you do to me?"
He took a moment to consider his answer. "I saved your life...as requested. This did, however, allow me to make a few slight 'improvements'."
Improvements? The very thought of that made her shudder. Get out...that's what she had to do.
Without saying another word, she wobbled out of his laboratory. It was the evening of whatever day after the incident on the bridge. Her world was spinning again, which caused her to sit on a nearby rock.
She was alive. Against everything, she was still alive. Her hell would continue on, and so would her misery. The only person to blame for this was...him. This was his fault. If he had only let her die on that bridge she wouldn't have had to suffer through whatever Singed put her through. She wouldn't feel so terrible. She wouldn't have to face Vi...and Caitlyn again. She should have known there would be no escape from her troubles. No way for things to stay dead and buried.
And then there was Ekko. Her feelings were conflicted. At that moment, she hated him. Him and his overdeveloped Hero Complex. His need to save her at all times. To protect her even when she didn't want him to. Everything she was going through from now until the end of her life was because of him. She'd never let him forget it. Ever. The very thought of it burned her insides. Fueled her rage with the fire of countless suns.
The only questions he needed to answer were:
Why did he save her? Why did he take her choice away?
But.
But...
She was responsible for his pain. That pain she saw in his eyes that day still hung low in her mind. He had every reason to hate her. She didn't do him any favors over the years. He was her friend, her only friend. Yet, she tossed him away like old bread. His pain was effectively her pain. It was her duty to own up to it and someday make it right. At the moment, she wasn't sure how.
And then...
What did it mean to love someone?
Jinx was still unsure, but remembering that look Ekko gave her when they gazed into each other's eyes made her blush. Those precious seconds they shared on the bridge renewed her vigor. It taught her a valuable lesson, while finally providing her with some much-needed clarity. Those years of following him around, wanting to encounter him whenever she went on missions, spying on him from afar, dreaming about him, imagining their future together...were all signs she'd been in love with him all along. It didn't make sense as to why it took her so long to put the pieces together, but she was sure now. As beautiful as it felt to her, it also made her afraid. She had no idea what to do about it. Holding on to his image would have to be enough for now.
Her mind wandered as she sat contemplating her next move. That question she was asked so many times in that nightmare haunted her. Chewed the backside of her rational mind.
Are you happy, Jinx?
"No," she answered finally. "I'm fucking miserable."
So what was she gonna do about it?
That was a good question. Perhaps it was time to pay her sister and her Piltie girlfriend a visit...