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he meets him at a party .
that in and of itself is strange -- soobin , at a party ? it's practically unheard of . he's a homebody , and it takes a considerable amount of effort to get him to go anywhere crowded with people .
and yet , here he is , holding a red solo cup and looking utterly displeased . he's hardly even sipped at whatever's in his cup ; it tastes gross , so he doesn't bother , even if he knows it'll take the edge off of his anxiety .
it's loud , hot and stuffy . every few minutes , someone will push past him , and every time it makes him more and more upset . how could he let kai drag him here ? the boy is nowhere to be found at this point , and that only pisses him off further .
with a sigh , soobin shoves past groups of people and makes his way to what must be the kitchen . he doesn't bother saying " excuse me " as he shoulders strangers out of the way . when he reaches the sink , he pours the alcohol out of his cup and fills it with water . he swirls it around , empties it , then refills it .
he takes a drink of the cool water , and the shiver it sends through his body is heavenly . he finishes it with one chug , then sticks it back under the faucet for more .
" slow down , dude , you're gonna choke . "
the sudden amused voice comes from his left . he jumps and whips his head to the side .
there's a guy around his age sitting on the counter . he has a guitar in his lap -- it's a pretty electric blue , and soobin finds himself liking the color . he takes in his face and the way his choppy long hair frames it . he isn't bad looking , he decides , too sober to delve into the thought any further .
when he doesn't respond immediately , the boy leans back and slings one leg over the other . " what ? " he asks , but there isn't a hint of hostility in his tone . it's all teasing , and it makes soobin's shoulders relax just a smidge .
" sorry , " he apologizes . " i'm a little out of it right now . it's too ... " he trails off , then waves his hand around his head . to his surprise , the guy laughs and nods . " yeah . it was like that for me , too . i've never seen you before . "
soobin forces a dry laugh . he didn't come here for small talk , but it would be too rude to leave now , so he continues . " yeah , this isn't really my kinda thing . i , um ... your guitar is cool . " he gestures to the blue instrument , and the boy's eyes light up .
" oh , thanks ! isn't she pretty ? " he speaks fondly , and it makes soobin smile and furrow his brows . " ' she ' ? " he questions , and the other beams . " yeah , she's my prized possession . she's stunning . i'm actually supposed to play in a bit , if you wanted to listen . "
honestly , soobin couldn't give a shit about his guitar ๐ฐ๐ณ how it sounded , but it gave his brain something to focus on other than the sweltering heat and stuffy atmosphere . he nods and takes another sip of his water ; the drink is helping him stay level more than any alcohol could .
the boy grins and hops down from the counter , nearly knocking into soobin . he pays no mind and beelines out of the kitchen , and it takes bin a second to recalibrate and stumble after him .
once they make it to the living room , he's hit with the smell of weed . it makes his nose wrinkle and his stomach flip . he has friends who smoke -- hell , he's even smoked a couple times in his life -- but the odor is something he'll never get used to .
of course , the guy seems completely unfazed . he's probably familiar with this sort of atmosphere , the stench of liquor and weed and sweat and sex . soobin shudders . how can he stand any of it ?ย
he watches in amazement as he greets everyone with a smile , easing his way into the crowd and settling on the edge of the sofa . there's what looks like a huge speaker next to him , and it takes a bit of fiddling , but he manages to get his guitar plugged up .
bin shuffles around and finds a metal chair against the wall . when he sits , he finds he has a perfect view of the show . he takes a deep breath , forcing himself to relax and zone in on the way the stranger's hands are moving and the guitar pick he has between his lips .ย
his brain is muffled and fuzzy at the first strum . with the guy's energetic personality and loud choice of color for his instrument , he expected something upbeat to match . what he gets is a gritty , almost melancholy tune . it manages to quiet the people around him , even if just a tiny bit .
he appreciates it , because before he knows it , he's leaning forward in his seat and gripping his cup with more force than necessary . he doesn't know why , but he feels ... nostalgic . suddenly the heat isn't so bad , the presence of others is welcome ; he wants to feel their warmth .
and he does feel warm , now , but not in a sticky uncomfortable way like before . it's his chest , mainly . every chord makes it hurt in a different way -- some are more painful than others , and some make it feel like his heart is being pulled every which way .ย
he isn't a music guy , and he ๐ช๐ด๐ฏ'๐ต a party guy , but if this is what other people felt , then maybe he could see the appeal .ย
soobin takes another drink to try and soothe the heat inside him , but it doesn't help . it just brings him more into the present , forces him to narrow in on this strange guy with his pretty guitar and nimble fingers and blinding aura .
he sees someone slide onto the couch next to him . they chat for a second , and then they laugh , and bin feels like he's watching something he shouldn't . it's invasive ; they're of different worlds , him and the stranger , and it's obvious . the way he can so casually interact with others is proof of that .
i mean , soobin had been a bumbling mess , hadn't he ? hardly able to keep a conversation and definitely not able to say no . but this guy , this ๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ท๐ข of a musician , has all eyes on him and somehow still manages to crack jokes and carry on as if it was just him and one other person in that room .
he's jealous . he wants to be in his world , too .
soobin can already feel the impending headache . the pressure behind his eyes makes him wince and rub the bridge of his nose . it's about time he left , anyway , before the feeling in his chest bubbled up higher .
when he looks back to the guy , the person next to him was gone , and he was instead scanning the crowd with a bored expression . when his eyes land on him , bin can't help the way his stomach turns . he beckons him with a confused look , a tilted head , and a few pats on the cushion next to him .
before he can really think about it , he's standing and awkwardly shoving through the seas of people . he sits himself down and stares into his cup . the water ripples with each move and shift around him .
" so , what did you think ? " the guy asks , and the bright tone of his voice makes soobin flinch . he doesn't like it anymore , he decides .
when he doesn't answer in time , he feels the person next to him lean into the sofa . " ... you look uncomfortable . do you want me to go ? or help you outside , or something ? "
soobin hunches his shoulders and shakes his head . " i'm sorry , " he begins . " this just really isn't ... i don't like it here . " he waits for a response , but he doesn't get one right away . he takes this silence to continue .
" i don't understand how people like stuff like this . i mean , this isn't just a me thing , right ? i - it's loud and hot and it smells terrible and my brain can't think right . but , i , uh , i did like it . your music . "
he finishes abruptly , suddenly feeling nervous . he can feel the other looking at him .
" do you wanna get out of here ? " the boy asks , seemingly starstruck . soobin tilts his head up to him and takes in his face and the way his eyes seem to sparkle . despite only knowing him for all of fifteen minutes , he wants so badly to say yes . he wants him to whisk him away from this shitty party and these shitty people .
he realizes as he's nodding that among these shitty people is his best friend , the one who brought him here in the first place . his heart sinks as he clears his throat .
" i can't . i came here with someone . "
something shifts in the stranger's expression . " oh . i , uh , didn't know . i shouldn't have asked you to go with me , then . shit . i'm sorry . "
soobin's face fills with color once he picks up on what he's saying . " no , it's not like that ! we just , um , he wanted someone to go with him , and no one else was free , and we're best friends so he just ... wanted me to come with . i don't . um . i'm straight . "
that was a lot of information to process , if he could even pick up on it through the stutters and pauses . bin wants to hit himself for being such a disaster of a human .ย
he says that , but when a hand lands on his shoulder , he isn't prepared in the slightest . the guy was using him for support as he let out loud , boisterous laughs . the break in tension has bin smiling too . " w - what ? " he asks through giggles of his own .
" i'm sorry , i just -- that was really funny . i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything , i wasn't trying to , y'know ... hit on you . i just wanna hang out a bit more , and you're clearly not having a good time here , so i thought we could , i dunno , go somewhere else ... "
soobin offers a sheepish grin . " we can still do that . i just gotta shoot him a text or something . i honestly haven't seen him all night , so i don't think he'd mind , " he hums as he pulls out his phone and sends kai a quick message .ย
when he looks back , the guy is already unplugging his guitar and stuffing cords in his pocket . bin stands up unprompted and uses the hand not holding his cup to dust off his pants . who knew what was on this couch before he sat on it ?
the boy turns to him with a smile . " ready ? " he asks , and before soobin can answer , he's got a hand around his wrist and is being pulled through crowded hallways . faces go by in a blur , and his cup gets jostled out of his hand , sending water over his pant leg and the floor . he ignores it in favor of the grip around his arm .
he must know this house pretty well , because it seems like hardly any time has passed before they're outside and standing in the driveway .ย
soobin blinks and slowly removes his wrist from the guy's hand . " it's already a lot better out here , " he murmurs . a sound of agreement comes from beside him . " it's kinda chilly , though . do you wanna walk for a bit ? "
he ... didn't , really , but saying no would come across as rude or make him look lazy . he nods and shoves his hands in his pockets . " okay . "
the stranger sets the pace pretty slow , much to bin's delight . they walk in silence for a few minutes , drinking in the still atmosphere . it's hours past midnight now , and the way the air hangs so heavy and yet so quiet is somehow comforting , if a little eerie .
" i feel stupid for asking this now , " the guy starts , and bin looks at him curiously . " uh , what's your name ? grade , major ? "
soobin doesn't like introducing himself , and never has , but he straightens up and let's the words flow . " choi soobin , junior . i major in ... composition . " he says the last part like it's a secret , and the tips of his ears burn red . it's such an embarrassingly normal major , nothing to brag about .
the guy just nods . " i'm choi beomgyu , a sophomore . i major in mathematics . "
๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต has soobin reeling . " m - mathematics ? " he mirrors back , just to make sure he heard right . beomgyu laughs and cocks his head . " what , didn't think the rocker boy was smart ? " bin shakes his head and feels the corners of his mouth lift . " i just didn't expect it , that's all . i thought you'd be in a more creative major . "
gyu shrugs and adjusts the guitar on his back . " mathematics is easy . pays well . my parents are happy with it . " he speaks almost like he's trying to convince himself and it makes bin frown . he understands pressure like that -- when he was choosing his own major , he was torn between so many options , weighing pros and cons until it all turned to mush in his head .
" what would you do if you weren't in mathematics ? "ย
beomgyu juts his lower lip out as he thinks . a pebble goes skidding across the pavement where he's kicked it , and once they reach it again , bin kicks it . they go back and forth until gyu reaches a conclusion .
" if i weren't in mathematics , i wouldn't be here . i'd be anywhere ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต here . i can't stand school , " he scoffs . soobin understands . he studies day in and day out for some stupid degree he doesn't really want , and for what ? a job he'll hate working for the rest of his life ?
beomgyu chuckles . he'd said all that out loud , hadn't he ? he feels his cheeks warm and he looks to his feet . this whole speaking - with - strangers thing was still making him nervous , despite how easy - going beomgyu was .
gyu nudges his shoulder , forcing him to meet his gaze . he looks softer out here ; his eyes are illuminated by nothing but streetlights and his own emotions and it's honestly stunning how beautiful he is .
soobin blinks . he ๐ช๐ด beautiful . how strange for that thought to occur to him and still be regarded as true .ย
they stare at each other for a few beats before beomgyu breaks away with a shy laugh . " it's getting pretty late . do you want me to call you a ride ? "
" what about you ? " bin asks , and gyu scratches the back of his neck . he glances a few houses down . " i actually live around the corner ... " he confesses , and soobin nods with a hum . that would explain his self - assured walking , he figures .
" i'll call someone to pick me up , don't worry about it . you , um , get home safe , yeah ? "
beomgyu beams and grabs the strap of his guitar with a nods . " yeah , you too ! i'll see you soon ? "
with the empty query hanging in the air , gyu turns and takes off down the road , his hair bouncing with each heavy step . soobin watches him go with a subtle feeling of regret churning in his stomach .
he waits till he's out of sight to sit down on the curb and call for a ride . this isn't how he'd originally planned for his night to go , but he can't complain , even though the headache from before is returning and the hem of his pant leg is still damp .
the next time they meet , it's coincidental . well , not entirely -- soobin had purposefully attended another party in the same neighborhood with the hopes of seeing beomgyu again . they'd parted that night without exchanging numbers , meaning that for a week , bin was left thinking about him with no means of contact .
he wanted to chat again , bask in the light of choi beomgyu like a moth to a flame .
unfortunately , he'd been here for nearly an hour , and there was no sign of said flame . his heart felt heavy in it's resting place . the whole reason he tolerated miserable events like this was so he could see him , just for him to not show up in the first place .
he takes a sip from his cup and grimaces . the taste of alcohol never gets better , but he pushes through it , hoping to at least get a little tipsy . he didn't have it in him to drink last time , but something was driving him to get intoxicated and turn his brain to mush .
when bin goes to take another drink , he realizes with a sigh that his cup is empty . fuck , he did ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต want to move . his spot by the door was a perfect watching point , and if he missed beomgyu coming in , he'd never forgive himself .
he pushes himself off the wall with a grunt and meanders uncertainly through the house . he can't remember where anything is and it's making him anxious . he's gonna get lost at this point .
he's forced out of his thoughts by a collision against his chest . he let's out a startled huff and holds his arms out to steady himself . " shit , i'm so sorry , " he hears from in front of him , and something sounds so familiar in those words it makes his heart skip .
" i - it's okay , " he mumbles , placing his hand on the person's shoulder . " are you alright ... ? " the person raises their head and it's like electricity crackles in his veins .
๐ข๐ฉ , ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ .
" choi soobin ! " beomgyu shouts with a grin . " what are you doing here ? " bin shrugs bashfully and averts his gaze . there's that sunny disposition he envies so much . " i dunno , " he admits quietly . " i'm by myself tonight . "
gyu whistles like he's impressed . " came here without any convincing , huh ? i thought this wasn't your kinda thing . "
" it's not . b - but you are . i wanted to hang out , and we didn't exchange numbers or anything , so ... "
beomgyu's silent for a few seconds , and when soobin looks close enough , he notices it's because he's blushing . before he can comment on it , gyu's grabbing his arm and pulling him to the side .
bin gets a sense of deja vu as he's pulled through crowds once again , except this time they go up a flight of stairs . he nearly trips as beomgyu climbs them with practice . he notes for the second time how familiar he is with houses not his own .
they're both a bit winded once they reach the top , but they rest for only a second before bin's getting pulled yet again . gyu manages to find a room and sweeps them both into it before shutting the door behind him .
soobin pauses and takes in his surroundings . it's a nice bedroom , decorated wall to wall in posters and shelves teeming with knickknacks and books . there's even a record player , he observes with an amused expression . somehow , the room reminds him of --
and then it clicks . the reason beomgyu knows this house so well is because it's ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด . his face flushes at the realization .ย
" sorry for dragging you around like that . i figured it'd be better to talk up here where it's quieter and less ... " he trails off and waves his hands around his head , just like soobin had done the night they first met . he was right , too ; it was much less overwhelming in this dimly lit room .
bin sighs , " it's okay . i like it better here , anyway . " he offers a small smile and gets one in return . it still feels a little awkward -- this was only their second time talking , after all -- but not in a curl - up - and - disappear kind of way . it actually made bin anticipate his next move .
beomgyu flops down on the bed with a huff . his hair fans around him , feathery and soft . when he sits back up , it's even more of a mess than before , if that was even possible . soobin finds it strangely endearing .
" so , " he begins , but nothing follows . soobin takes a seat next to him and tucks his hands under his legs . " so . " he mirrors back . gyu cracks a smile and folds his arms behind his head . " what do you think of my room ? "
bin hums and gives it another once - over . " it's very ... you . it's nice . " he feels the bed shift as beomgyu lets out a soft laugh . " i'm glad you like it . like me . "
soobin scoffs lightheartedly . " who couldn't like you ? "
gyu sits up at that , and bin feels like he's said something wrong . " what do you mean ? " beomgyu asks , and soobin fumbles for his words .ย
" i mean , like , you just blend in so effortlessly , y'know ? everyone seems to know you and they're all so friendly with you -- not that that's a bad thing ! -- it's just ... i dunno , something i'm a little jealous of . i admire it . "
beomgyu blinks and takes a deep breath . it's silent and soobin feels the tell - tale thrum of panic rising in his chest . before he can apologize , gyu leans back on his hands and stares at him .
" god , i could kiss you right now . "
" w - what ? wait , ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ? " soobin sputters , turning away with the back of his hand against his mouth . the sudden words have left him baffled with a dumbstruck smile on his face . beomgyu grins and brings his foot up to poke at him .
" whaaat ? " he drawls playfully . " your words were just so nice , bin , i can't help it ! " they're both giggling now , and soobin thinks this giddiness must be the side effect of the alcohol he drank earlier , because his face is starting to heat and he's becoming almost restless .
he lets himself fall back onto the bed and stretch his arms out beside him . " well don't kiss me , please , " he utters through broken giggles . he feels warmth spreading throughout his body , and these sheets smell so comforting , he could sink into them and feel right at home .
the wordless shift of he bed moving is all the warning he gets before beomgyu is suddenly on his lap . his legs are on either side of soobin's , effectively caging him in . in any other circumstance , bin would be an anxious mess , but he's intoxicated and gyu's smile is nothing to feel threatened by .
" why shouldn't i kiss you ? huh ? " beomgyu teases with a mischievous grin . soobin lets another bout of giggles escape him as he brings his hands up to push at gyu's shoulders . " 'cause , " he says softly , " it'd make everyone jealous . they'd kill me . i'd be dead because of ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ . "
the hands against beomgyu are suddenly pushed down into the mattress , and bin let's out a quiet gasp . his face is much closer now , he realizes , and he hears his heart beat in his ears .ย
beomgyu's eyes shine when he says , " so if no one knew , i could kiss you ? "
soobin opens his mouth to respond , but nothing comes out . it's weird , how in his half - drunken state of mind , beomgyu's words make sense . at this closeness , he could smell the stinging scent of liquor on gyu's breath , and the sober part of him cataloges that information for a later date .
bin , for a lack of things to say , mutters in a muted voice , " i've never even kissed a boy before . " beomgyu snickers and leans in further , tightening his grip on soobin's wrists . " well , i've never kissed a straight boy , " he says matter - of - factly .ย
soobin's eyes subconsciously flit down to beomgyu's lips . " cocky , " he whispers as the space between them shortens and their noses brush past each other .
when they do kiss , it's nothing more than a chaste peck on the lips . honestly , bin hardly moves his mouth at all ; his experience really was limited , his only kisses being between girls who either cared little about him or who had taken the lead entirely .
objectively , this wasn't much different . this was his second time even seeing the guy , and he was definitely taking control in this situation , as well as every other they've been apart of . yes , that's how it looks , but that's not at all how it ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด .
their lips don't stay together for longer than a second , but it seems to stretch on forever . even soobin's muddled brain can process the way beomgyu's lips are slightly chapped from talking and the way his fingers are digging into his wrists tight enough to hold him but not enough to keep him there . he's giving him the option to run away .
he doesn't , of course -- why would he , when everything about this seems so perfect ? it's all beyond his wildest dreams : the party , the alcohol , the ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ . nothing he could ever think up would compare to this fantasy .
bin finds himself chasing gyu when he pulls away . he wants to more of this exhilarating experience , he hasn't had enough , not nearly . his body feels so heavy and he doesn't have enough information to figure out why .
their eyes meet the moment they get the chance . the visual confirmation that ๐บ๐ฆ๐ด , ๐ฉ๐ฆ did ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฌ๐ช๐ด๐ด ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ช ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐จ๐บ๐ถ is all soobin needs before he's whispering " again . "
gyu's eyes dart over his face . " you sure ? " he breathes , and bin has to stop himself from rolling his eyes . good on him for checking , but he was both too sober and not sober enough to question this right now . he levels his gaze with beomgyu and nods .
their second kiss is more forceful on gyu's part . soobin takes every bit of it he's given , trying his best to move his lips just as beomgyu moves his . it's clumsy , but they reach a slow rhythm soon enough .ย
when he feels a tongue lick against the seam of his mouth , his breath catches in his throat . that -- that's different . ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ different , and it makes him equal parts nervous and excited .ย
it takes some coaxing , but eventually his lips do part , and beomgyu's tongue slips in with ease . soobin tenses and his eyebrows furrow at the wet feeling in his mouth . it's not bad at all , just ... foreign . gyu seems to know what he's doing , so he lets the boy explore his mouth to his content .
he notices very quickly why gyu was so eager to kiss him like this ; it feels incredible , and it spreads a familiar heat throughout his body . the sensation of tongue against tongue , the sound of their lips smacking together , their bodies pressed against one another -- it's a lot , and it's working bin up more than he'd like to admit .
soobin's the one to pull away this time . he turns his head to the side , panting and out of breath . he's flushed a brilliant pink from the tips of his ears to below the collar of his shirt . he can feel beomgyu's gaze on him , and it only intensifies the color in his cheeks .
" all good ? " gyu asks breathlessly . bin hesitantly looks up at him and wishes he hadn't . he looks amazing like this , leaning over him with messy hair and slick lips and a flushed complexion . his heart flutters in his chest at the revelation that this has gone beyond just finding him platonically attractive .
he only remembers that he needs to respond when beomgyu gives him a concerned look . " y - yeah ... it's good . feels good . " the uneasy expression quickly melts off of gyu . " yeah ? " he reaffirms . " i don't wanna embarrass you or anything , but i can tell . "
soobin doesn't have time to process what that means before beomgyu's rolling his hips down into his own and --
๐ฐ๐ฉ .
bin throws his head back against the bed and involuntarily whines . god , how had he not noticed he was hard ? he hears gyu laugh above him , all sweet and silly , like he hadn't just grinded against him .ย
beomgyu maneuvers soobin's wrists so they're crossed , then holds them with one hand ( they hardly fit in his grip , but bin wouldn't have moved regardless ) . he uses his now - free hand to gently trace along bin's jawline .
" fuck , i wanna kiss you again . you're so cute . "ย
soobin keens at his words and nods , eyes squeezed shut . " o - okay , " he stutters . he has to forcefully swallow down any pathetic noises as beomgyu readjusts his position on his lap and cradles his cheek in his hand . he turns his face back to his and swoops down to connect their lips once again .
bin's mouth opens almost immediately . he never knew kissing could be this addicting , that it was just as pleasant as fiction made it seem , maybe even more so . the pressure against his crotch only adds fuel to the fire in his gut , making his whole body thrum with heat and want .
soon beomgyu's prying his lips away , trailing them along his jaw , placing sweet , delicate little kisses wherever he touches . soobin instinctively bares his neck to him , and he's rewarded with a shaky sigh and murmurs of praise from gyu . " so pretty , could stare at you for days . " he finishes with a gentle nibble against soobin's pulse .ย
his head is spinning , filled with thoughts of beomgyu and beomgyu only , his hands touching him and his breath on his collar and his hips pressed flush against his own . he feels like he's on full display for him , just his to look at and play with like a doll .
gyu shifts lower until he's level with soobin's chest . his hand comes down from bin's wrists and dances around his torso until it finds the waistband of his jeans , ย his shirt tucked neatly in place . he tugs on it gently until it's pulled out and completely freed . his fingers ghost along his stomach , and it has bin giggling quietly and jerking around . " it tickles , " he complains softly . beomgyu grins and pulls bin's shirt up until it fully exposes his tummy . " oh yeah ? " he tuts back before leaning down and pressing a playful kiss just beside his navel . soobin flinches with a gasp and uses his now - free hands to push at beomgyu's shoulders . he doesn't relent , just places more kisses anywhere he can reach -- his hip bones , his ribs , his waist , they were all so perfect , so worthy of admiration . so kissable .
he finally stops when soobin is out of breath . his chest is heaving as he lets out his last few chuckles . beomgyu's looks up at him with a grin and a fondness in his expression that's almost too intense for bin too handle . he looks at him like he's something precious , something so much more than he is . no one's ever given him butterflies quite like this . it's a little scary , but he welcomes it for the time being , even going so far as to find gyu's hand with his own and slide his fingers between his .ย
beomgyu lets his head fall against soobin's thigh . his breath ghosts over bin's clothed bulge , and only then does he remember how worked up he is . he swallows and suddenly feels embarrassed . " bin , " gyu hums . " how sober are you right now ? " soobin turns his head to the side and shrugs . " i'm not โฆ drunk , really . i'm still here . " beomgyu nods and closes his eyes . " okay . i don't wanna , y'know โฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ง๐ง with you if you're too intoxicated to give me consent and not remember it the next morning . i want you to remember this . "
soobin tries to fight the bashful smile that rises to his cheeks . " such a gentleman , " he teases quietly . despite his light - hearted poking , the implications of gyu's words have his stomach in knots . he's nervous . he's straight and there's a pretty boy two inches away from his dick and he's so fucking nervous . not to say it's all bad โ it isn't , of course , because if it was , he'd already be out of here and locked in the bathroom โ but it's just something so new for him . he can't deal with what this means for his identity , not right now . he takes a deep breath .
beomgyu must've sensed his anxiety , because he's shifted his head away from his crotch and is rubbing circles on the outside of his thigh . gyu's fingers wrap firmly around his and it melts any lingering discomfort away . " you alright ? " beomgyu whispers against his leg , and soobin nods . " mhm . ' m good . "
there's a few beats of silence , and then beomgyu's right back where he was , eyes locked on the bulge in front of him . " soobin , " he murmurs with a soft , almost teasing grin . " can i suck you off ? " bin nearly chokes on his own spit , only saving himself by clearing his throat and swallowing hard . as embarrassed as he is , he musters up the ability to speak and squeezes beomgyu's hand as he says , " yes , please . "
gyu beams up at him and soobin returns the smile . he feels so comfortable now , like this is something natural for him , like ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐จ๐บ๐ถ is something natural for him , and it has a warming effect on him . he has to remind himself to keep breathing as gyu slips the ends of his fingers into his waistband and tugs . his jeans are shimmied down , and he lifts his hips to get them over his butt . he doesn't miss the way beomgyu's fingers linger over the curve of his ass or the way his eyes glimmer with a hint of something mischievous and scheming . he continues without a word , though , so soobin dismisses it for a later date .
by the time his pants are around his knees , soobin's feeling both too hot and too cold โ the hair on his thighs is standing from the change in temperature and the feathery touches of gyu's fingertips , but his face burns a beautiful red and he can't seem to get over his bashfulness . thankfully , beomgyu is patient , and he doesn't expect the impossible from him . he takes his time stripping him , glancing up occasionally to check on him . they communicate with their eyes and timid nods ; soobin is afraid if he spoke , his voice would crack or his brain would malfunction and leave him even more embarrassed . he's grateful for their silent communication .
eventually , his boxers are also being pulled off , and he cringes when his erection slaps against his stomach . he must look so pathetic , already this hard and leaking just from some kissing . it must be obvious at this point that this isn't something he's used to โ he's had like , what , one blowjob in his entire life ? โ aand although he knows he wouldn't , he prays beomgyu won't laugh at him .
he realizes after a few seconds that beomgyu hasn't moved . he anxiously pries his eyes open and peers down at him .ย
he's staring directly at his dick , transfixed and unmoving . heat rushes to both bin's face and his gut . he lifts one of his knees and nudges gyu in the ribs . " stop looking ! " he protests , and beomgyu lets out a low whistle . " i figured you were big , but this is pretty damn impressive . " soobin throws his head back onto the bed and covers his face with a groan . the tension eases pleasantly , and he feels his once - tensed muscles relax . he feels a wave of relief rush over him . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ช๐ต . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐บ . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ช'๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ท๐ฆ . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ .
a giddy smile rises to his cheeks , but is quickly replaced by furrowed brows and an open mouth . while he was lost in his own thoughts , beomgyu had taken the head of his cock into his mouth and was swirling his tongue around , just slow enough to make soobin wish there was more . he has to fight to keep his hips from bucking and his thighs from twitching . a breathy , almost whiny moan spills past his lips , and gyu laughs around his dick . placing both hands on bin's hipbones , beomgyu sinks deeper , taking another inch into his mouth . soobin throws his arms over his eyes and tugs his bottom lip between his teeth . every noise he makes comes from his throat , alternating between sweet whimpers and desperate groans . it's so wet and hot in his mouth , his tongue is so soft and knows exactly where to lick to make bin jerk around in pleasure .
beomgyu pulls off with a quiet pop and leans his head against soobin's thigh . he uses one hand to massage the soft flesh he's using as a pillow and the other to stroke him while he takes a break . " does it feel good ? " he asks as he licks the corners of his mouth . soobin peeks out from under his arms and whines at the sight of gyu with spit - slicked lips , jerking him off languidly and casually . he nods and raises a shaky hand to gyu's hair . he runs his fingers through his messy black locks affectionately . words fail him in this moment , but he still wants to convey how much this means to him , how ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ it actually feels . gyu must've gotten the message , because he smiles and presses a kiss to his shaft . " good . you're being so good for me , baby . so pretty and perfect . "
soobin's brain completely short - circuits . the combination of words stirs something in his stomach , muddles his mind into nothing but beomgyu's sweet praises . he covers his face again and moans breathily . " please , " is all he can manage to get out before gyu's sinking down on him again . soobin's hand stays in his hair , not pushing or pulling , just there . it sort of grounds him , gives him something to hold on to when the pleasure gets overwhelming and he feels like he isn't here anymore .ย
he thinks nothing could ever feel as good as this . beomgyu's no pro โ he can't deepthroat for the life of him , and the amount of spit collecting across his face is nearly appalling โ but he takes what he can fit so well and with so much enthusiasm that it makes up for every little sign of inexperience or lack of skill . it's , at the very least , ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐จ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด better than that one blowjob bin got years ago . she got bored before she even started , and when soobin came too fast , she got up and left without another look back . he honestly feels close to the edge now , but beomgyu has a way of keeping him just on the precipice , not quite there , prolonging the feeling until soobin's trembling and grasping at his hair , pleading with his whimpers for permission to cum .
beomgyu pulls off again and bin nearly sobs . he jerks him off quicker this time , though , keeping him satisfied while he speaks . " are you close ? " he asks , though he surely knows the answer . " yes ! yes , " soobin whines , hips twitching and chest heaving . " alright , alright , " beomgyu purrs . his mouth ghosts just a few centimeters away from his tip . he sticks his tongue out and touches it flat against the side . " go on then . cum for me , sweetheart . "
it's almost instantaneous , the way soobin's body grows taut and his moans increase in volume . his orgasm hits him harder than it ever has in his life , and he nearly breaks skin biting down on his lip . his legs close in around beomgyu's head on their own accord , trapping him there as soobin's cum spurts not only on his tongue , but on his cheek and the tip of his nose , as well . it doesn't taste good โ it never does โ but he swallows what he can and lets the rest drip out of his mouth and back onto soobin's dick . as he catches his breath and comes down from his high , lets his arms fall from his face and land at his sides . he feels shifting on the bed , then a hand on top of his . when he opens his eyes , beomgyu's leaning over him with a dopey smile . " it's a shame i couldn't see your face when you came . you had to have it covered the whole time . i bet you looked so pretty . "
soobin groans and pushes his shoulder weakly , a smile fighting it's way onto his face . " oh , shut up ! " he giggles . gyu straddles soobin's lap and begind pressing kisses all over his pink face . " god , you're so cute , " he mumbles against his skin , " so fuckin' adorable . what am i gonna do with you ? huh ? i think i just need to keep you forever . lock you in my room and steal you away from the world ! "ย
soobin laughs and lets himself be kissed , even tilts his head to make it easier for gyu . this feels so nice , ๐ด๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ค๐ฆ , he doesn't want it to end . he even considers beomgyu's incredulous proposal for a second or two before deciding it wouldn't be worth it , strictly for the sake of his friends and family worrying about him . otherwise it sounded absolutely perfect . he protests anyway , shaking his head with quiet " no , no ! " 's interrupting his giggles . " why not ? " beomgyu asks as he leans back and relents his kiss - attacks . " was my bj not good enough ? " soobin lets out another laughs and smacks beomgyu's thigh where it encases his body . " it was โ it was perfect , okay , no need to doubt that . " gyu hums and dips his head . his forehead knocks against soobin's , their noses brushing , and they both grin as they look into each other's eyes . it's so intimate , even after what they just did . the butterflies in soobin's stomach have turned violent , making their way into his chest and thrumming against his ribcage so aggressively it almost hurt . he was sure gyu could hear it too .
" i don't think i'm straight , " he blurts out . beomgyu stifles his laugh and tilts his head just a bit . " oh yeah ? and why's that ? " soobin's ears burn red and he lowers his voice . the words tumble out of his mouth without a second thought , like what he's saying is 100% fact ; and it may be , if the way his heart is beating so quick and heavy was any sign .ย
" i think i like you . a lot . "
beomgyu falls silent , and soobin immediately regrets saying anything . this was nothing more than a one - night - stand between a couple of strangers who'd met all of two times . they'd hardly talked , hadn't even hung out before , and yet here he was , professing his sudden feelings for him after he'd just given him the blowjob of the century . he feels like an idiot and he squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the scalding rejection .ย
he flinches when he feels gyu collapse on top of him and bury his nose in his neck . he's embracing him so tightly it takes his breath away . he's confused and disoriented โ this is not what he was preparing for in his head .
" choi soobin , please be my boyfriend . i don't think i could take it if you said no after confessing so cutely just now . "
soobin freezes . ๐ฃ โ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ? ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ? ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ต . ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ . " oh my god , " he whispers , nuzzling into beomgyu's hair and holding him just as tight . " yes . yes , okay , yeah . let's date . "
he feels gyu smile against his jaw and then he's rolling over and bringing soobin with him so they're on their sides facing each other . beomgyu places a peck on his nose and rubs his hand along his side . " i can't believe all i had to do to get you to date me was suck you off . i would've done it the night we met if i knew that's all it took ! " soobin ducks his head and laughs . gyu has a such a big , vibrant personality . he usually has trouble talking to these types , but he's made everything so easy and comfortable . he traces his features with his eyes , takes in every line of his face and sparkle in his eye and shine of sweat on his brow . he's beautiful , truly , inside and out . ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ , soobin thinks . ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น - ๐จ๐ช๐ณ๐ญ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐บ , ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด , ๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด . ๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด๐ฆ . ๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ .
he reaches his hand up and cradles beomgyu's face . it fits so perfectly in the curve of his palm , like it was made to be there . as he thinks of everything that makes him so amazing , he realizes that to know choi beomgyu is to ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ choi beomgyu . there's something in him that just pulls you closer and closer , drags you into his circle and doesn't let you leave . he's thankful to kai for dragging him to that miserable party , he's thankful for his distaste of alcohol , he's thankful for beomgyu speaking to him first and forcing him to listen to the gritty strumming of his guitar . without that , he wouldn't be here , exchanging quiet words and soft giggles with the man of his dreams as they held each other and drifted into their own little world , separate from everyone else and consisting of them and them only . they share childhood stories and their dreams for the future and their favorite films and their pet peeves . they talk about what this means for them and how , regardless of whatever soobin labels himself as , if he chooses to label himself at all , beomgyu will be proud to call him his boyfriend . soobin tries not to tear up at that , but he can't help it . it means so much to him , ๐ฉ๐ฆ means so much to him , and for the first time in a long time , he's excited for the future .
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