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As he was ripping off Eric and Younghoon's fabric hearts, Haknyeon laughed right in front of their faces, victorious and satisfied, eliminating the first two members of the game, while they were too busy catching their breath after the jumpscare they got from the staff playing the role of a crying girl. He didn't waste a second and immediately went for them. Invulnerable and distracted, that's the time when you have to act.
In that moment he felt powerful, not even sorry for his friends, being cut off from the game so early. He wanted to win and this was the right way to start.
With Younghoon and Eric out of the way, he easily managed to get the girl to stop crying, and finally get the clue he needed to clear his given mission.
Haknyeon didn't even know what he was searching for. He didn't quite catch the meaning behind the hint that he received, but the moment he walked down the hallway and saw someone entering a different room, he knew that he had found his next victim.
Adrenaline running through his veins.
Out of them all, Haknyeon was surely the most competitive and most scary when playing games. And if it was a game with eliminations it was even worse.
Speeding up his pace he found out that it was a storage room, not sure if they were allowed to enter because yes, the show was in a school but the games had to be done in the respective classes that the staff prepared for them.
But with no one seeing him he just opened the door and closed it behind him immediately. If they weren't supposed to be there he was sure that someone would've noticed with the two cameras in the hallway, but he was sure the staff was too occupied with the other teams, entertaining the show, to pay attention to his snickering. Or at least that's what he thought due to the screaming coming from the members, more specifically Kevin and what seemed to be Chanhee.
With the door closed, the intensity of the screaming and laughing decreased, leaving them behind as faint noises.
Now it was just him and his rival.
At first, he was facing the other boy's back, roaming into some boxes, but when the door closed he turned around, meeting Haknyeon gaze.
He had no idea of what Sunwoo was searching for since he haven't been in their classroom yet, not even knowing what kind of game they had to complete.
But it didn't matter. Haknyeon wanted to get him out of the way and was here only for that.
"I'm sorry Sunwoo, but I have to do this"
"Shit"
"You can't escape, and you know I'm gonna win-" Haknyeon's voice died down while his eyes started looking around. Noticing that, Sunwoo started doing the same thing, unsure about what and where to look at.
Right, left, up, down, but not even a single camera on sight.
That meant that his assumption was correct. That storage room was outside the area in which the game was supposed to be played, therefore they weren't allowed in the room, nor even remain there.
But on second thought, he didn't want to leave empty-handed.
"Too bad there are no cameras to capture my amazing conquer"
"I hope you're here just to find clues for the game"
"Nope"
At that answer, Sunwoo breathed out another curse. He was screwed, he knew that already.
The older smirked, tasting already the sweet flavour of victory
"I'm here to steal your heart!" as Haknyeon excitedly said it out loud with his big bright smile on his face and his natural confidence, Sunwoo was standing at his spot, not moving an inch. All his thoughts about the game were thrown out the window.
He was no longer scared that the older could've eliminated him, but rather amused. In his eyes, Haknyeon brightness was lightning up the little room, even though the big window was letting in the rays of the sun, Haknyeon was brighter.
A thought. Just a little thought suddenly popping in his head, and wildly going around, begging him to let it free and say it out loud. It was now or never. How many more chances he would have for him and Haknyeon to be like this.
And so he said it
"Again?"
"What do you mean 'again'?" Haknyeon asked visibly confused, tilting his head slightly to the side. A habit he took when he was still a child, and that everyone found gracefully cute.
"You already did" Sunwoo's still didn't move, the same expression on his face, letting Haknyeon more confused than before.
"Uh? what are you talking about? it's literally still on you" he took a step ahead, pointing his finger where the heart-shaped fabric was placed on Sunwoo's vest.
"I'm not talking about this"
Eyes drifting from the fabric heart to Sunwoo's static face.
"Could it be" he took two steps towards him "that you really don't know?"
Haknyeon backed away, making him come into contact with the table behind him, and now he was stuck there. He knew that if Sunwoo stepped forward again he just wouldn't move a muscle.
It's been a long time since they had this kind of intimacy, just the two of them talking, even though they were in the middle of filming and winning a game.
As for Sunwoo, he was starstruck. The shorter boy didn't seem to notice but there was a change in his expression. It was so subtle, but his eyes got a little bigger and his eyebrows slightly raised.
It was just
him
The light hitting his face, making his skin glow, like pure gold.
Even though it was in the dead of winter, just looking into his eyes Sunwoo could feel the gentle warmth of spring, and it was the best sensation ever.
Sunwoo thought that the makeup was on the way, he wanted to see his bare skin enlightened by the sun at this moment. Maybe another time he could capture his essence, maybe during the sunset, where the colours turn on all shades of orange, Haknyeon's favourite colour.
But for now, he's satisfied with the current view.
He just hoped, prayed, that no clouds would overshadow the beautiful sight he was so blessed in witnessing.
Sunwoo was so caught up in his feelings that he was not considering what the boy in front of him was thinking about.
Haknyeon is trying. He's really trying so hard to understand what those words mean, but the more he thinks about it the more messed up his head gets.
Also ignoring the obvious pounding in his chest.
"Know what?" he asks in the softest way possible. Almost come out as a whisper
"You stole my heart, Haknyeon. But it was a long time ago" Sunwoo pronounced those words so easily and with so much certainty in his voice, still looking at him in his eyes.
As a sense of confidence took over Sunwoo's body, he leaned closer to Haknyeon, being only a few centimeters apart.
"Maybe next time I'll be able to steal yours"
Haknyeon could feel Sunwoo's warm breath caressing his lips, those lips that just wouldn't move, not knowing what to say or do.
So he just stands there, with his mouth barely open, watching Sunwoo's body retract.
Everything happened so quickly.
The younger boy turned around and Haknyeon's eyes suddenly dropped to the ground.
He could still see Sunwoo opening the door in the corner of his eye, then without looking back closing it behind him.
Just then he noticed that for the whole time he was taking short breaths, resulting in him gasping for air the moment his eyes shot back up.
He wanted to call Sunwoo back and made him explain, but there was no time for that now.
Haknyeon tried to regulate his breath and slow down his frantic heartbeat. He needed to get out of there before someone notices his absence, and just get his head in the game one more time.
-----
By now, the sun was long gone. The moon made his appearance, carrying with her the dark of the night and bringing the freezing cold back. Everyone was busy packing and getting ready to leave, but Haknyeon was still grounded in his thoughts.
It annoyed him.
The cold weather, Eric eliminating him just for payback, watching the others from afar while they were having fun with each other, Sunwoo.
Especially Sunwoo.
At first, he didn't believe a single word, thinking Sunwoo was just playing around or pulling a prank on him. But his body was telling a different story.
The way he spoke, the gentleness in his voice made Haknyeon comfortable in a way that even he couldn't describe, as a familiar warmth passed through his body, reaching his tingling fingertips.
The look on his face, a sight that he would never forget. He was calm, composed, the brown eyebrows occasionally tensing through each word he let out.
And his eyes
oh, his eyes
Haknyeon was captured by them. Like every time they make eye contact. And just by looking at them, he knew, he understood everything.
There was no way that that could've been all an act
Every part of him, every inch, every act of Sunwoo screamed sincerity
"Haknyeon, are you ready?" those sudden words startled him, but fortunately, they got him back to reality and out of his deep thoughts.
"Yeah, I am"
As he looked at the boy beside him, he noticed that Hyunjae had his eyes half-closed and slowly letting out a long and vocal yawn.
It was late after all.
"Thanks for taking revenge for me back there, with Eric"
"No need to thank me. That's what besties do" Hyunjae smiled, and Haknyeon did the same, then proceeded to laugh at the word 'besties'.
Spending too much time with Kevin can lead you to this kind of sayings.
He then saw the said boy, along with Younghoon and Changmin, running towards two of the black minivans that were parking in front of the school.
"Let's go?" Haknyeon just nodded
As everyone was gathering in front of the door to get on the van, Haknyeon had his eyes locked on the concrete of the street under his feet.
All the other members surrounded him, and the last thing he wanted right now was to make eye contact with a certain someone.
He made sure to be one of the first to get on the van right behind Hyunjae, hoping that the older boy wouldn't share the seat with another member before him.
Almost as if Hyunjae had read his mind, he took the seat behind the passenger and sat near the window. Without any hesitation and nearly in a rush, Haknyeon occupied the seat next to him. Hyunjae didn't seem to notice his nervousness nor his deep sigh, probably because he was too focused on getting out of the bag his neck pillow, then proceeding to lean his head on the window and sleep.
Great
The only source of his plan that he had in mind to distract himself from everything that happened just fell asleep.
Just great
How he wanted to follow him in dreamland, but with those anxious feelings and being all tense up it didn't help much.
It didn't help at all, to be honest
Trying not to fall into despair instead, he quickly went through his bag in search of his earphones. Hoping to cut loose and relax.
But after a couple of minutes passed, Haknyeon thought he would lose his mind. Not because he kept hearing Changmin and Eric talking non-stop and their irritant laughs, but for his trembling hands. He tried to recall where he put his earphones last time he used them but nothing came to mind.
Everything was starting to be a little overwhelming for him.
The voices, his breath getting heavier, his hands not stopping for a second, Sunwoo's voice playing in his head, and those damn earphones.
Why was his bag so messy, why was it so easy for him to lose his focus and why did it feel like all eyes were on him, looking at every move he made and why did it feel like the van was slowly shrinking and wh-
"Haknyeon?"
The loud running of the tires it's all he heard, after the voice called him.
The van was back at his original size, the voices stopped and his eyes divert from his bag. His heart still banging in his chest.
"Are you okay? did you lose something?"
He was whispering. His right hand covering the side of his face. Since half of the members were sleeping, Kevin probably didn't want to wake them up, and for the others still awake, he didn't want to attract attention to the two of them, noticing the younger's disoriented state.
Haknyeon secretly thanked him for that.
"I-I just can't find my- my earphones"
"You can use mine. I don't need them now"
"Thanks, hyung"
With shaking hands, the short boy spent no time in taking the earphones from Kevin, giving him a small nervous smile before proceeding to put them in his ears and connect them to his phone.
It took him a while for sure to select a song. Changing every two seconds for the amount of love songs present in his playlist.
He thought that music could've helped a little to distract him, but instead of making him feel at ease, it frustrated him even more.
Haknyeon opted to just play instrumentals instead, without voices, without words.
And it did, in fact, work pretty well. He finally started to relax and regulate his breath while his muscles distended.
His eyes shifted from the seat in front of him to the window.
It was dark, and the lights in the van made it even harder to look at the scenery outside.
The light poles illuminated part of the surroundings, together with the lights of cars that were still around and the illuminations from the 24/7 stores. All those signboards were painting the streets with their colours, making Haknyeon smile. Everything looked so calming now.
His mind began to wonder.
He was letting himself indulge, loosing up in the moment.
But maybe it wasn't a good thing, because his thoughts took him back to the game, and to the conversation in that storage room.
Thinking about Sunwoo's words gave him goosebumps all over again.
"You stole my heart, Haknyeon"
Slowly, he slid his hand into the pocket of his hoodie. His fingertips coming in contact with a little piece of fabric, starting caressing it with his thumb.
He wasn't supposed to have it. He didn't even ask for permission but, really, he couldn't care less about it. It was a stupid thing, yes, he was well aware.
When he was changing clothes back at the school, after taking off his vest, he suddenly stopped. After looking at that little red piece he got a wild idea. Sure thing stealing wasn't right, but who cared? they would've probably ended up in the trash anyway, so why not take advance of it and just take it with him?
No one noticed though.
He may or may not know what to do with it, but one thing was for sure.
He knew what he wanted. His patience was running thin, but he had to wait.
why am I thinking about it again
His hands immediately made their way to his face, rubbing it out of frustration, then ending up messing his hair.
If someone was watching him at this moment, they probably would think he was going insane.
That was not entirely wrong.
The ride to the dorm was painfully slow in Haknyeon's opinion, and the music he was listening started to get annoyingly unpleasant. He paused the music and took off the earphones. While he was fidgeting with the wire, he turned his head to the left, wanting to give them back to Kevin, but the older was long gone.
Kevin fell asleep with his head resting on Jacob's shoulder.
Now, were they doing it on purpose?
-----
Fast walking, no eye contact, eyes glued on the floor, stick strictly on Hyunjae's side, making himself little. That's what Haknyeon has been doing since he got off the van, heading towards the dorm.
The day could have ended there, if it wasn't for the other members who wanted to talk about all that happened early in the day. Some of them were obviously exhausted but the idea of staying up to talk about all the crazy stuff kept them thrilled.
"Just a few minutes"
After taking their belongings in their respective rooms, they all gathered in the living room of the old dorm. Whom Haknyeon, Sangyeon, Hyunjae, Jacob and Juyeon lived.
The couch felt much more comfortable than any other time he'd sat on it. He found himself slowly being absorbed in, like a sponge absorbing water.
As all of them made themselves comfortable, some on the couch and others on the floor, Eric immediately started talking about the game, bubbling over with excitement.
And so the chaos began.
Haknyeon was clearly having a hard time focusing on what the others were talking about, but every time they laughed, he laughed as well.
If someone noticed his state of mind, no one said anything.
He liked the non-attention, he wanted the night to keep going this way but it felt like time froze. Haknyeon occasionally looked at his phone, checking the time, twitter or literally anything else just to not get involved in any way in the conversation. But it didn't last long, to Haknyeon's dismay.
"Hyung hyung" Haknyeon froze. Phone in his hand, home screen displayed. He slowly lifted his head, turning on his left where the voice who called him sat. Now all eyes were on him and Eric.
Eric, I'm sorry, but sometimes I just wish you would shut up
He felt a little guilty having these kinds of thoughts about the younger. After all, he didn't know what was happening.
"Are you still mad at me?" Eric asked. The bottom lip slightly sticking out, resulting in an adorable pout. Although the evident cuteness in front of him, his head was too much of a mess to understand what Eric meant "Mad?" "For eliminating you" voice becoming little, the pout still didn't leave his face.
Haknyeon now definitely felt sorry for the younger "I'm not mad at you Eric. It was just a game" he just wanted to end it there. The myriad of thoughts he had after being eliminated were better left unsaid.
But of course, someone else had to butt in and had to keep going.
"But the betrayal!" Haknyeon jumped lightly at the loudness of Hyunjae's voice that, with his luck, sat right beside him. His eardrum was still working at least.
"Oh my god" He heard Kevin already losing his mind, while the other two kept arguing
"I will never forgive you"
"But I said sorry!"
"He didn't deserve it!"
Oh, how he wanted to stop Hyunjae from talking but he just stayed still, not wanting to make a bigger scene. He just sat there and watched.
"You two weren't even on the same team-" "He's my precious baby" Hyunjae's arms wrapping around his shoulders, cutting off Changmin's sentence "I'm gonna defend him with my whole life if it's necessary" "I couldn't agree more" Chanhee stated.
Haknyeon just let out a nervous chuckle, not making any comments on what Hyunjae's said about him, but everyone thought the same thing. Even Eric sometimes calls him 'baby' rather than 'hyung', but Haknyeon didn't mind.
The jet black haired boy unconsciously lifted his head, looking around and noticing that everyone was nodding their head and laughing to Hyunjae and Chanhee's statement.
He did the only thing he was avoiding to do for hours. All that talking made his guard crumble down resulting in him being careless, and he definitely regretted it.
His eyes met another pair.
The same eyes he admired so closely a few hours ago, the same eyes that he didn't want to meet since a minute ago.
And as fast as it took him to get stuck in the other's gaze, his eyes did the same in finding the spot on the floor that he has been looking since he set foot in the dorm.
Did someone turn on the heater? Or was the side hug Hyunjae was still giving him that emanated so much warmth?
"Guys stop, he's all red from embarrassment!"
Yeah, maybe that was the reason.
The attention was shifted from him to Sangyeon, who started talking about the final game that he and Hyunjae won.
To be exact, Sangyeon won. If someone else did they surely would've kept the prize all to themselves, but not Sangyeon.
No one quite understood why he split up the reward with Hyunjae, but the latter thought that if there was another member in his place instead, the older would have done the same thing.
But Haknyeon had a different opinion.
Not to mention the sparkle in Hyunjae's eyes that gets brighter every time Sangyeon is involved in any way.
And the same thing applies to Sangyeon as well. You can see it if you pay attention enough when they interact with each other.
You can notice that the older would give extra care to Hyunjae, and Hyunjae would embrace that affection more than happily.
He smiled at his hopeless friend, and he immediately stopped as he noticed the resemblance with himself.
Maybe his own eyes had the same sparkle.
-----
Instead of 'just a few minutes', a good hour passed and only Younghoon seemed to notice. Now gaining their attention.
"Guys, it's late" the said boy announced to the group who was still talking.
The voices and laughs all died down quickly, and everyone got out of that bubble that engulfed them, feeling the tiredness in their body. Yawns and words of disapproval replaced the cheerful atmosphere created, but each one of them complied, still with a smile on their faces.
"Let's get to bed. We have another schedule tomorrow" Sangyeon was the first to stand, soon followed by the rest of them.
Looking at the members beeding their goodbyes to each other, since half of them lived in a separate dorm, Haknyeon started panicking.
Heart beating faster and hands starting to sweat. His gaze frantically moving not knowing where to look.
He couldn't wait till tomorrow. He wouldn't even be able to sleep properly with all the thoughts and feelings and words he wanted to express and say, he decided that he had to do it now.
Every second was precious, so without wasting any more time he made a few steps towards a certain someone, trying not to make it so obvious that something was going on.
His finger hooked with the pocket of the taller's hoodie who was about to walk away, but stopped in his track as he noticed Haknyeon's presence.
Shifting weight from side to side, he finally gained that tiny pinch of courage to speak.
"Can we, can we talk?"
He felt like someone was wrapping his hands around his neck.
It was getting hard to breath, and the words, that hardly made it out of his mouth, mingled with all the confusion the members were still making. He just hoped Sunwoo heard him and that he didn't have to say it again.
Even though Haknyeon's eyes were still currently looking at the floor, in his line of sight he saw the boy next to him nodding, followed by a hum.
The short boy briskly made his way to the opposite side of the dorm, opening the glass door of the little balcony.
The sudden change of temperature made his nose itch.
As they both were outside, Haknyeon closed the glass door, still not daring to look at the boy on his right.
It was hard finding the right words to say.
What did he want to ask? what did he want to know? what was the purpose of talking with him?
His mind blanked out in an instant now that he had to confront him.
"The sky is so clouded tonight" Haknyeon looked up, noticing that Sunwoo leaned on the metal railing and his eyes were observing the sky.
You could barely see the stars, just a massive dark grey sheet high above, like it was trapping them there. The view seemed so dull. It almost made Haknyeon want to go back inside.
They were fully clothed, wearing heavy hoodies and pants, but the cold weather and the cool breeze were able to get under all of that. Unconsciously, Haknyeon's fingers began to fidget, scraping the underside of his nails as to scrape the worry away.
His legs began to shake "Are you cold?" Sunwoo asked. He must have looked at him, or was still doing it "No" a tremor in his voice.
It wasn't a proper lie, because Haknyeon had no idea of what he was shaking for.
Nervousness? Cold? Cowardcy?
It took a long time before he was able to say something. Swallowing the big lump in his throat he finally spoke up.
"Can I ask you something?"
He couldn't bear to look him in the face. It was embarrassing, to say the least. He felt like backing up. The spiral of self-doubts started to barge in his head once again.
But how could he give up? now that he finally had the tiniest bit of courage to try and talk to him after what happened. And he so wanted an answer, a proper one.
"All the things you said...back there in the storage room" voice edging with tension "What did you mean?" he continued to fidget with his fingers. Hands on top of the railing. The cold of the metal was unpleasant on his skin, but the fear of silence was unbearable.
"You don't know what I meant?" Sunwoo asked. His voice seemed normal. No tremor in his tone. Just his usual way of talking.
Was he not feeling the same things that Haknyeon was feeling now? the fear? the distress? the eagerness? was that not bothering him?
"I-I may know, I just- I just want to make sure I didn't misunderstand you" Haknyeon stammered, then nervously proceed to moisten his dry lips.
Sunwoo lowered his gaze, now checking out the streets and buildings in front of them. It was a much better view than the previous one.
The multiple lights and the few vehicles going around the street made the atmosphere more lively.
It was such a pretty view.
But the one beside him was way prettier. He thought
"I was being honest, when I said all of those things to you. When I said you stole my heart I meant it. From the day I laid my eyes on you I knew you would become someone whom I could rely on. As time went by you became so much more than just a teammate. You became my friend, a true one. Every moment we spent together was a blessing. There was not a day in which a wasn't happy in your presence. You make me feel like there's nothing I need to worry about, like a balloon that's just floating and want to reach the far sky and feel free. And I just hope I have the same impact on you that you have on me" Sunwoo didn't wait for an answer for his last sentence, but Haknyeon did tear his gaze off the streets and, finally, looked at him. After all that time spent avoiding it.
His eyes portraying so many emotions that it was difficult to capture them all.
Lips slightly parted, and his whole body paused.
Sunwoo's eyes kept wandering around.
A cold breeze made its way to them, stinging on their skin.
Haknyeon covered his hands under the sleeves of his oversized hoodie, while Sunwoo just shrugged his shoulders, continuing anyway. Not even the freezing cold could have stopped him.
"I'm just saying that you're someone that I want by my side. Not just as a friend. I want to share my happiness with you, and I want you to share yours with me"
The younger's body started to move, turning in Haknyeon's direction.
The latter gasped in amusement. After what seemed a lifetime their eyes met.
But neither of them looked away this time.
"I like you"
That's when Haknyeon lost it all. He felt himself being filled with an immense warmth inside of his chest, quickly spreading thru every inch of his body, reaching his fingertips and the tip of his toes. Clarity was all he sensed, as if the clouds were swept away, leaving space to the stars and moon at long last to shine.
After a whole day of questions invading his head and of years of holding back, he now can finally breathe.
Before the night comes to an end, he wanted to let him know.
Heart thumping in his chest, his hand closed in a fist, nails digging in his palms. Just a squeeze out of encouragement, before roaming his hand in the pocket of the hoodie.
After a split moment of hesitation, Haknyeon pulled out his hand, bringing it in front of Sunwoo.
A piece of soft fabric laid on his palm.
It was the red heart that they worn for the game that afternoon. The conditions weren't great, it was a bit folder here and there and a little rumpled. Probably because of him continuously touching it during the whole day.
Sunwoo looked at it with a surprised look on his face that immediately changed to a confused frown.
"You said I stole your heart"
"So you are, metaphorically, giving it back to me?" he furrowed his eyebrows while looking at the heart laying in Haknyeon's palm. His chest tightening.
"No!" after seeing Sunwoo's face dropping, Haknyeon quickly tried to clarify "That's-that's mine"
He felt his cheeks warm up even more, getting embarrassed all of a sudden by his own words. It wasn't easy for him to express his emotions so blatantly, but here he was.
"Metaphorically, I'm giving you my heart" Haknyeon breath out of relief when he saw Sunwoo's frown go away "I'd be happy if you accept it"
"I will treasure it" The taller delicately took it in his hands, caressing the fabric heart with his thumbs, as if he was afraid that it might break or fall apart, while the corner of his lips made their way up, forming a content smile.
"And...I also would love to share my happiness with you" Haknyeon finished with a big smile on his face, that smile that Sunwoo loved so much.
Sunwoo realized that they didn't need the stars and the moon after all, because Haknyeon light shined brighter.
He believe Haknyeon kept stardust in his eyes.
Sunwoo couldn't resist any longer. He was gonna trust his body, because it knew what was right or wrong, better than his mind.
And so he took a step towards Haknyeon, arms softly embracing him, as if to protect him, and the shorter wrapping his arms around the other's torso, clinging onto him with his head resting on his shoulder, facing the night view.
Lost in the essence of one another. Blood rushing, veins trembling.
They could hear their heart beating in unison.
The heart that Haknyeon stole, and the one that Sunwoo earned.
Sunwoo caressed the top of his head, with his fingers going through his dark locks. This action alone made Haknyeon bury his face in the crook of the other's neck. Everything stopped when he felt Sunwoo's chest move uncontrollably while a joyous laugh escaped from his lips.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Nothing. Just them" Then Haknyeon lifted his head, looking in the direction of Sunwoo's eyes. And there they were. Standing in the middle of the living room, not too far from the balcony, stood Changmin, Chanhee, Sangyeon and Hyunjae, jumping around and smiling with their thumbs up.
"Oh my god" Haknyeon tried to cover his face with one of his hands then moved Sunwoo's figure so he was hidden from their friends.
"I forgot to close the curtains!" he whisper-yelled. His face became hotter than ever, and a more vocal laugh left Sunwoo's mouth.
The taller squeezed him, cooing at the adorable and embarrassed boy in his arms that soon started to laugh with him.
Their happiness filling their bodies and disperding in the cold night.