Chapter Text
Having just given him the experience of a lifetime, revealed desires he never would have suspected of himself, declared him special, showed him both kindness and brutality in turn, and announced that his freedom was a thing of the past, Blackbeard left Stede alone to ruminate, with a gentle order to stay put. Perhaps he was handling business on deck, perhaps he was doing some rumination of his own. Stede didn’t know.
What was his future to be? How would he be treated? How soon would Blackbeard tire of him?
Looking back, Stede felt a twinge of shame that it had hardly occurred to him to fight back. Verbally even, to tell Blackbeard off at the very least. Preserve some aspect of his dignity with a token resistance. Perhaps he would have, if it had been anyone else.
Stede thought of his crew. His family. Both gone, perhaps forever. He ached to mourn the loss properly, but his sorrow was continuously interrupted by flashing memories and fantasies, by thoughts of Blackbeard’s hands, his lips, his cock—
“The Gentleman Pirate.”
Stede startled and spun around to face the door. That man was standing there, the horrible one from the island and Jackie’s bar.
How long had he been standing there?
“Is that what you call yourself?”
Stede straightened himself. “Yes it is, as a matter of fact.”
“Not much of a pirate anymore, are you? Or a gentleman.”
“Yes, well, at least I don’t sound like a talking corpse.”
Hands shifted his stance confrontationally, letting the silence hang for a moment.
“We could all hear you, you know.”
Oh. He supposed he shouldn’t be terribly surprised. But he was having trouble summoning a retort to that one.
“Want advice? Try for a bit more subtlety next time. He prefers a challenge.”
He had every reason to lie, but Stede couldn’t escape the sinking feeling that he wasn’t.
“Appreciate it,” he said, imbuing his voice with as much sarcasm as possible.
Hands made a move towards the door. “I suppose we’ll be seeing each other. Can’t say I look forward to it.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
—
It was another hour, Stede reckoned, and into the evening, before Blackbeard finally returned. He was carrying two plates of food, which smelled lovely after half a day of nothing to eat.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry I left you so long. Hungry?” Stede nodded.
“Yes, thank you.”
Blackbeard sat down, cross legged, on the floor. Stede joined him. He still felt a sense of fear to be in this man’s presence, not knowing his intentions, but it was all mixed up with a warmth in his chest and a tingle on his skin and above all a magnetic draw that made him want to never look away.
“I have your books. And your clothes. Can’t keep all of them—haven’t got the room for that—but I thought maybe you’d want to go through and pick out your favorites.”
“Oh.” Stede hadn’t even considered Blackbeard might save his things for him. It seemed far too sentimental for a man like him. “Thank you, that’s—that’s very kind.”
A moment passed as they began to eat in silence. One part of Stede felt that, of course, he must let Blackbeard be the one to break it, as he himself had no idea what sort of conversation was appropriate. But he could never stand a tense silence for long, and this was perhaps the thickest tension he had ever experienced.
“Your first mate came by.”
“Did he now?” Stede nodded. “What did he have to say?”
“Well…” He suddenly wasn’t sure how much to tell. If he should’ve brought it up at all. “He said that he’d heard us. Earlier, that is. When you—when we were—”
“Fucking,” Blackbeard finished. Stede nodded. “Well, hardly the first time. Thin walls, you know. Pretty ballsy of him to bring it up, though. Anything else?”
Stede shrugged. “Nothing of significance, I suppose.” It felt a bit dangerous, lying to Blackbeard, even in this small way. Leaving out the one thing that had really been left on his mind.
“Izzy can be a bit of a dick. But he’s a hell of a first mate. Gotta respect the guy, if nothing else.”
“Has he been on your crew long?” How well does he know you? How many men has he seen you go through?
“Oh yeah. We go way back. Six…seven years? Somewhere in there.”
Stede wondered if he couldn't pick up on a bit of falsehood to the easy and offhand way Blackbeard was speaking now. Did he really find it so simple to talk as if they were simply new acquaintances? As if he weren’t Stede's captor and his…his…
Stede decided against thinking that particular word.
“So,” Blackbeard continued. “What’s it like, then? Being an aristocrat.”
“Terribly dull.”
“Really?”
Stede nodded. “Sickeningly comfortable, I would say. Quite a lot of awful parties, full of insufferable people. And, well—my marriage was not a happy one.”
Blackbeard snorted. “No shit, man. You’re gayer than I am, and that’s saying something.” Stede blushed. He supposed it was most likely true, though he had hardly let himself consider the question until he’d met Blackbeard. He realized that, if he had been asked to guess a moment ago, he would have supposed that Blackbeard lusted also for women, perhaps would even prefer them if the option were available. It was strangely nice to find that, apparently, they shared this disinterest in the other sex.
“So,” Stede began tentatively. “What’s it like, then? Being Blackbeard?”
Blackbeard let out a slow breath through pursed lips. “Hard to say. I mean, I certainly get a kick out of it. Sure you’ve noticed that. It’s nice to be able to make a man shit himself just by saying your name. But it gets to be a bit much after a while.”
Stede nodded sympathetically. “I imagine it would.” Of course, Stede would kill for a fraction of his renown, for the title of Gentleman Pirate to be truly feared. But he wasn’t naive. To be a legend was to be under constant pressure to perform, in every sense of the word.
“Do you suppose you ever get the chance to be—well—not Blackbeard?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean—well, I suppose I mean to be…yourself.”
“I am Blackbeard.”
Stede considered this. “Yes, well, you certainly are. I mean, I can see that. But you’re also—and correct me if I’m being presumptuous—a person?”
Blackbeard gave him a suspicious look. “Are you fucking with me right now?”
“You know what? Forget I said anything.” He gave a polite smile out of habit, dropping it just as quickly at the strange way Blackbeard was looking at him now.