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"Oikawa."
"What do you want?"
Oikawa eyes visibly burned with flames that screamed murder, a glare like daggers.
They stood outside the gym, wearing their perspective uniforms, the cool breeze made it apparant that Oikawa was probably going to get a cold tomorrow.
"You..."
"Lost? I know."
"Do you regret it?"
Oikawa's eyebrow raised slightly, Ushijima staring back at him with the same monochrome face.
"Regret what? I don't regret anything."
"Yes. But it is your last year. You would've enjoyed nationals."
"Well yes,I would have but someone just had to win like always."
"You could've won if you went to Shiratorizawa."
Oikawa sneered at him, snickering as if that was a joke.
"Hah. I would rather lose with Seijoh then win with Shiratorizawa."
"But why? Why give up victory?"
"You sure ask a lot of questions Ushiwaka."
"Please stop calling me that."
"That's not the topic of the conversation."
"The topic is that you lost."
Oikawa bit his tongue. But it didn't help. The bitter taste of loss spreading through his mouth made him want to choke.
"You chose the wrong path."
"Who's to decide that?"
"There was a place where you could have displayed more of your power but you chose against it."
Ushijima's eyes met his, gaze unwavering and all so serious yet Oikawa wanted to laugh.
"All because of your useless pride."
"It's not like every team is guaranteed success."
"At the very least, my team is the strongest here."
"Well, you're still laughably confident aren't you?"
"Worthless pride is what stopped you from flourishing."
"Worthless pride huh? I guess that's true. But listen up Ushijima."
"..."
"I have never thought my decision to be wrong. And I never will. I don't regret things. The things I regret are the things you'll never know."
"Not once?"
"But if you keep all your attention on me. You'll be stabbed from a different direction."
Oikawa shoved past him, obviously done with this conversation, reaching for the door to the gym. Then time stopped.
And he was there all over again.
"Oikawa."
"What? Haven't I said enough?"
He was about to turn around back to where Ushijima was but he soon realised he was in the same place he was before.
Nowhere near the door, but facing Ushijima again. Yes. The same gym, scenery, view. The same Ushijima Wakatoshi standing infront of him, looking apathetic as always.
"You..lost."
"You literally said that before? What are you playing at Ushijima?"
"I'm not playing anything Oikawa."
It was simple to grasp. It was either he became delusional and dreamt the conversation before or he had traveled back a few minutes.
"Do you-"
"No I don't regret it. Just leave me alone already"
He left Ushijima there confused. Oikawa checked his watch, the same time as before. Seriously, what was going on?
Oikawa crouched down, trying to wrap his head around all this, finally deciding he was dreaming and pinching himself.
It hurt.
He ran pass Ushijima reaching for the door.
"Oikawa."
He was standing there again, facing the same Ushijima.
"Don't tell me."
He was in a time loop.
"Don't tell you that you lost?"
"Oh, shut up Wakatoshi, I'm busy here."
"Wakatoshi?"
"Just shut it."
He reached for the door again and just like he thought, the loop restarted.
"Oikawa."
"Ushijima."
"You-"
"Screw you"
With a flick of his middle finger, he ran for the door again and again he ended up in that same place.
"Oik-"
"AHHhhHHHHHH"
And the loop restarted again. He was growing crazy.
This time Oikawa stood silently. He actually needed to try figure things out. This was becoming quite serious.
"Oikawa."
"..."
"Oikawa?"
"Just say what you wanna say Ushijima."
He wasn't actually hearing Ushiwaka out though, more like wasting time.
"You could've won if you went to Shiratorizawa, but your worthless pride-"
"Ok now that's enough"
He pulled on the door for the 5th time.
"Oikawa."
"Shhh for a minute Ushiwaka."
"What"
"Shut up for a minute."
There was a lot you could figure out when you're stuck in a time loop and Oikawa figured alot.
He couldn't go past a certain distance away from Ushijima, he couldn't touch the door either or he'd go back in time. He didn't have his phone and noone was around.
Usually he'd be quite interested and would maybe enjoy the time loop, he loved supernatural and fantasy anyway but not when he was stuck with Ushijima. Out of everyone, why did it have to be him?
It was boring too. Ushijima usually said things along the same line as "you should've come to Shiratorizawa, you could've won but worthless and useless pride blah blah blah"
"Right ok I'm done."
"I can speak now?"
"Nope."
And Oikawa ran in the opposite direction.
Six loops in and Oikawa still does not know how to get out.
"Oikawa."
"Ushijima, one day I'm might stab you and throw you into that river nearby."
"What."
"Have your teammates ever told you that you look like you work out at the gym 24/7 just like Iwa-chan?"
So he resorted to just messing about.
I mean who wouldn't? He could say anything he wanted and Ushijima wouldn't remember it, and time looped anyway, and it was pure comedy watching Ushijima's reactions.
"Oikawa."
"Ushijima you really are obsessed with me."
"You..."
"Your whole team needs a haircut, you can't say anything. Like atleast I lost pretty."
After a few more joking around, he started realising the gravity of the situation.
Like 'what if I am stuck forever?'
It was then on loop 13 that something different happened. You would've expected him to go mad by now. And he thought he had.
"Oikawa."
He decided to hear Ushijima out.
"Worthless pride is what caused you to lose."
After a while he had gotten past where the conversation ended before.
"My worthless pride."
"Yes. You could have been so much more."
"Ushiwaka. Why do you expect so much great from me?"
Ushijima's eyebrows furrowed.
"Who are you to decide how good I am?"
"I don't suppose I have any reason."
"You know, I really hate you Ushijima.
Oikawa was so sick of him already,he was done with the whole 'you could've been better situation.' He reached for the door handle.
"Oikawa."
"Yes?"
He was so sure this was the start of another loop but he saw his hand still secured on the door handle.
"You know. It wouldn't hurt for you to be sincere with your feelings for once."
"What?"
"Because I don't hate you."
And the door opened slightly.
"Oikawa."
And there was Ushijima Wakatoshi standing infront of him again for who knows how many loops. But this time Oikawa didn't answer to Ushijima's call.
The sentence rung in his head over and over, like a spinning top that was destined to stop.
"...sincere with my feelings...hate.."
he muttered under breath, his eyes zoning out on the addicting way Ushijima looked at him. He didn't know if that was the key to escaping but that was the only key he had.
Feelings huh? He could do that pretty easily atleast he thought he could.
But under the pressure and weight of Ushijima's stare that crumbled under him, it made his heart drop. His tongue tied and a strange sort of lump get forced in to his throat, something that threatened to rise like vomit.
With a whisper that he knew Ushijima couldn't hear
"... Ushijima...you don't hate me, do you?"
His voice was hoarse, much quieter than he expected, suprising himself. His voice usually flowed perfectly, like music, so what was stopping him now?
He also wanted to hit himself. Why did he ask that out of all questions? Clearly it was about his feelings, not Ushijima's.
Ushijima's eyes widened, visibly not expecting the question and the conversation to go this way yet his mouth still opened.
"I...don't."
But Oikawa heard a slight waver in his voice that was usually so unwavering. It was a slight pause but it was enough for Oikawa to doubt.
"...really?"
The voice was even quieter now, non existent even. He hated him self for carrying on. It was his feelings not Ushijima's, could he not realise that? He had no reason to ask that and silently inside, he wished for Ushijima to not have heard.
But Ushijima picked up the voice anyway.
"I never did. I don't think I ever have or will. It's...quite the opposite really."
Oikawa let out a small laughter, it was quiet but not bitter or sarcastic like it always was.
"You don't have to lie you know."
"But it's true."
Why did he ask for Ushijima's feelings? They were irrelevant to the door out of here.
But maybe...just maybe..it was to confirm something. Even if Oikawa would never admit that, it was evident from his face.
Because Oikawa didn't even know himself what he felt about Ushijima.
"Do..you hate me Oikawa?"
He reached for the door again before he said something he'd regret. And the door opened up halfway this time, it just needed a bigger push or pull, considering the door was pull only.
He stood before Ushijima again.
"Oikawa."
How did he feel about Ushijima? His feelings.
Oikawa knew he hated him. He hated everything about him. His eyes, words, voice. Everything.
Oikawa's eyes tore holes through Ushijima, watching closely at his movements and each word that made him hang on loosely to his tongue, each word that made him topple. Each slight gesture made him fall.
But he didn't know where he was falling.
"And you could've flourished more if you-"
"Ushijima."
"Yes?"
Oikawa didn't know where he was falling but he wasn't afraid. After all if it failed, he'd go back and he was up to try. Ushijima would forget about it anyway. Whether he fell someplace dark or someplace light it was up to him.
It was like an experiment, or that's what Oikawa told himself. And he pulled Ushijima's collar towards himself.
But he definitely could not deny how fast his heart was beating when his lips met Ushijima's.
He saw how Ushijima's eyes widened. Tinted green with dabs of gold. He'd never saw the gold before. He was never close enough for that. His eyes closed in...hope? Nervousness? Because he was full prepared for the other to push him off.
Had he crossed the line?
He felt a large hand wrap around his waist and another pulling him in. But Oikawa ignored that. He cupped Ushijima's face, enjoying every moment of it.
It was like suffocating but sweet. So what if Ushijima won't remember this? He'd do it all over again.
It felt like minutes before they both pulled away, taking deep breaths, exhaling.
"Oikawa...do you hate me?"
The same question, in the same tone.
And the same hand reaching for the door.
A sigh escaped from Oikawa's lips. His head turned to Ushijima and with a large grin ,gripped his hand tight on the handle. He was going to answer properly this time
"Quite the opposite really."
It was Ushijima who smiled slightly, his eyes looking right through him, like he knew everything.
"You don't need to lie Oikawa."
Oikawa's eyes widened a bit, the same conversation, the words nearly exactly the same but the contents were going to be different now.
"But it's true. I seriously love you Ushijima."
And with a flourish, he grabbed Ushijima's hands, opening the door that was so tightly locked.
Ushijima was the key to what he thought he had locked away.