Chapter Text
Once upon a time, there was a gorgeous alpha and a valiant omega. This is how Mu Qing began the story, with Cuo Cuo staring at him with wide eyes on his lap.
The omega and alpha, Mu Qing continued, were separated by mountains reaching the heavens, fire all the way from hell, and a dash of idiocy that bridged the peaks and the flames. But through love and persistence and a hint of luck, the two made it to each other.
The brave omega offered to sacrifice himself for his one and only alpha, who then realized what a fool she had been not to cherish her omega until that moment. She then saved him just as he was on the brink of annihilation. With the intensity of their commitment to each other, they bore a child together and lived happily ever after.
Of course, Mu Qing then said, rolling his eyes, this is a fairy tale. So don’t believe everything you hear, like your dumb father.
Feng Xin, of course, was listening to the side and immediately shot several arrows in retaliation, much to Cuo Cuo’s delight and avid clapping. From that day on, Cuo Cuo called him ‘baba dumb.’ It was the first time that the fetus spirit called him his father, much to Feng Xin’s grudging joy.
Feng Xin is a martial god of nine hundred years. So no, he doesn’t believe in fairy tales. Still, Mu Qing’s story, told quite some time before their coupling, re-emerges in Feng Xin’s mind now when he faces his love, who has his arms crossed.
“I’m going to spend my heat alone.”
“What the fuck?”
“I don’t expect you to understand,” Mu Qing refuses to meet his eyes. “But I don’t want to have to rely on you for my first heat.”
“First heat? You had your first heat months ago, and you know how it went – ” Warm, delectable, perfect, with Mu Qing stretching his long, pale limbs and constantly begging for more.
“No, I don’t, and that’s the damn problem!” Mu Qing at last looks at him straight in the eyes, furious.
There’s a swirl of Mu Qing’s emotions prickling at Feng Xin’s neck, from their mating bond. But like how it is all too often, he can’t detangle the threads of his omega’s feelings.
“I don’t remember a lot of it, and it pisses me off,” Mu Qing continues. “Everything was so rushed, and I’m used to doing things on my own, and I don’t want to feel like I’m forced to spend these heats with you or – ”
“Forced? Fuck you, we’re mated now!”
Feng Xin wants to bite Mu Qing’s neck again to remind him who he belongs to. When his love holds his gaze, his rage ebbs, though. His emotions are so hard to interpret, but Feng Xin knows he’s serious.
“Fine,” the archer grits out.
The tension in Mu Qing’s shoulders gradually dissipates. He takes a few steps until he’s right in front of Feng Xin. Again avoiding his gaze, he adjusts Feng Xin’s robes.
“It won’t be every time,” he mumbles. “I just want to see how it’s going to go this time.”
“Fine,” Feng Xin repeats, trying to suppress a scowl. “Let me just have you while you’re still not in heat.” He grasps Mu Qing’s chin for a kiss, but the other god deftly steps back.
“Not now,” he says. “I’m in pre-heat, and I don’t want your uncouth horniness to trigger anything.”
“Fine.” The archer is definitely pouting now. “Just come back to me when it’s all over.”
***** ***** *****
But Mu Qing doesn’t.
Because even though he hides himself far away from Feng Xin when his heat does come, his raw distress slams into the archer as it waxes and peaks.
He’s mentoring his disciples when the wave of turbulent pain crashes into him, making him break his bow in half. Brusquely dismissing his deputy gods, he heads to his private chambers to calm himself. And for the first time, he wars against his raging alpha.
Unlike Mu Qing and his often adversarial relationship with his newly released omega, Feng Xin and his alpha are almost always on the same page. Because you’re as simple and stupid as an animal, Mu Qing sneered many times during their long history.
Yet with his omega now so clearly and desperately calling for him, there’s a scathing heat burning under Feng Xin’s skin. There’s his alpha shouting to leap through the heavens and mortal realm until he finds Mu Qing and soothes and engulfs him to make his distress fade away.
No. Mu Qing clearly said that he wants to spend his heat alone. Now, he can’t consent.
The hours trickle by and that frantic, twisting pain increases and increases until… Fuck this! Fuck you! My omega needs me NOW! his alpha roars. At this point, Feng Xin has broken every single thing in his room. Unable to hold out any longer, he reaches into Mu Qing’s communication array.
… Or tries to. That asshole changed his array password. Are you fucking –
Feng Xin is one instant from thundering across the Heavenly Court and into the mortal realm in search of his mate when the Heavenly Council accosts him for an ‘urgent’ mission. So all he can do, besides swearing up a storm, is to order two of his disciples to search for the general of the southwest for him. Both of them tremble in front of General Nan Yang when he gives out this order, all too aware of his enraged scent. Days pass and his disciples are unsuccessful in their search.
In the end, it is Mu Qing who returns to the Heavenly Court himself. Feng Xin is still away when Mu Qing makes it back. By the time the archer in turn comes back to Heaven, there’s a feeling of dread weighing on his chest.
It’s never good when Pei Ming walks by him on the Martial Avenue with a disapproving glance.
“I expected better from you with your sizable reputation, Nan Yang,” he says, frowning slightly, and Feng Xin knows that what awaits him is worse than he expects.
It’s so much worse. Because even outside the Xuan Zhen palace, the scent hits him, twisting his gut. It’s sour, withered, an omega disappointed. No, more than that. A mated omega heartbroken and deceived. Feng Xin feels the fangs of his furious alpha sinking into his heart.
He finds Mu Qing sitting in his study, his shoulders slumped and writing reports. The strokes of his brush are usually nimble and graceful, only surpassed by His Highness. Today, they are uneven. Mu Qing’s hands don’t tremble, but the characters drying on the paper, although still beautiful, appear like they’re quivering, unstable.
“Mu Qing – ”
Abruptly, the swordman stands up. Feng Xin has to put his hand to his nose because that scent curdles even more.
“Get out.” Mu Qing isn’t looking at him.
“Mu Qing – ”
“Get out.”
The omega’s voice is still quiet, but his scent speaks volumes. His eyes watering, maybe for more reasons than one, Feng Xin turns on his heels and marches out of the other general’s palace.
***** ***** *****
Mu Qing can’t bear to see Feng Xin.
His heart can’t stop weeping that his love was not there when he needed him, and it can’t stop wailing for his alpha to sweep in to take him in his arms. There’s a constant lumbering ache in his chest, like he’s starved for air and he can’t get any into his lungs no matter how big of a gulp he takes with each frantic breath.
What’s worse, he knows that this is his fault. He was the one who adamantly ordered Feng Xin to stay away when he was in heat. But can anyone blame him for not appreciating how terrible his heat would be when spent alone? Mu Qing can’t really remember his previous heats. He can’t recall a single heat before his ascension. And the one from months ago, awaking after Feng Xin bit him… it didn’t feel real. It felt like a dream, snippets of something too soft and too sweet.
This time, when he spent his heat alone, encased by the impenetrable walls of a mountain far into the west, he braced himself for pain. Still, he was overpowered by the sheer amount of agony and torment that crashed into him, that beat him into the ground again and again until he couldn’t get up. His bite mark burned, so acutely that he thought it would expose him to the bone.
Before he knew it, he couldn’t stop himself from calling out to Feng Xin. He couldn’t get his thoughts together to send a plea across the communication array. So he cried out and cried out into the unfeeling mountain walls until he lost his voice. Still, his alpha did not come.
Of course not. I told him not to come. This is what Mu Qing snarled to himself when his heat at last ebbed, as he lay slumped and weak against the ground. He couldn’t stop from shaking. When he touched his face, he realized it was wet and he couldn’t stop himself from crying. No matter how he tried to calm himself, to remind himself that this is what he wanted, his omega felt shattered.
It didn’t help that it took almost a week for Feng Xin to finally find him after Mu Qing dragged himself back to the Heavenly Capital. Again, he reasoned that the other general was on a mission, but he couldn’t stop his omega from sobbing: he doesn’t care he doesn’t care he doesn’t care.
When Feng Xin strode into his room, his alpha’s scent alone threw Mu Qing back into the relentless pain he had just clawed out of. It wasn’t a heat. No, there was no desire. Just hurt and hurt and hurt. Feng Xin smelled of worry, distress, and was there a hint of vindictiveness? Mu Qing couldn’t stomach it. He couldn’t look at him. So he threw the archer out.
Feng Xin seeks him out a few more times. Each time, there’s such a mess of feelings that explodes in Mu Qing’s chest, and the only one that he can interpret is pain. He sees the hurt in Feng Xin’s eyes when he turns away. He can’t bear to think that he himself wrecked so much havoc on his love's emotions. Even worse, he can’t bear to think that he is the one who’s also wrenching Feng Xin’s heart apart.
Then the two are sent on an unceasing string of tiring missions separately. It doesn’t take too long for Feng Xin to stop coming to him. Maybe it’s for the best, Mu Qing thinks.
The black bags under his eyes are back. They’re worse than Ling Wen's on her most tiring day, his disciples are crass and idiotic enough to whisper behind his back. After that excruciating heat, he knows that his bond with Feng Xin has been damaged.
Maybe I should break it. Release Feng Xin from this misery. Another heat alone should do it. If it doesn’t kill him. So what if it does?
That sneering thought only looms larger in his mind when Mu Qing gathers enough courage to ask for Feng Xin at the entrance of the Nan Yang palace, only to be turned away by one of his disciples.
“General Nan Yang wishes not to be disturbed by anyone,” the deputy god stammers.
Mu Qing doesn’t recognize him. He must be new.
“Get out of the way,” he says sharply.
“General Nan Yang wishes not to be disturbed by any- anyone,” the other repeats. He is visibly shaking now.
Any other time, Mu Qing would strike the insolent servant down. There’s a reason no one stops either Feng Xin or him when they storm into each other’s abode. Today, he’s tired. Like every other day. He can’t stop the screaming in his ears from his annoying, heartsick omega: he doesn’t want me he doesn’t want me he doesn’t want me.
Maybe this is for the best. He can’t help going over the last thing Feng Xin yelled at him the last time he tried to talk to Mu Qing.
“Why do you have to be like this? I can feel you, and it’s all twisted! Why do you have to be so twisted?”
The last time Feng Xin had made such a hurtful (and true, so true) accusation, it was before Xie Lian’s final ascension. It has never dug as deep as a wound as it did after their mating.
Once this bond breaks, Mu Qing thinks, ignoring the crack widening in his heart, he can push down his omega again. Regain some cultivation. Save Feng Xin from his twisted mind, his twisted heart. This hope, this love… it’s killing him.
***** ***** *****
Mu Qing doesn’t forget how Feng Xin turned him away when he showed up desperate at his palace. So when his head disciple reaches out to him in his private communication array, asking his permission to request help from General Nan Yang (the deputy god is on a mission that has bled into the southeast, and he needs some backup), Mu Qing scoffs.
Nan Yang is not going to help you, Gao Wei.
I wouldn’t trouble you normally, General, but the ghosts are taking –
I’m heading down, Mu Qing cuts him off.
There’s no need. I would be grateful if you would send a few others from our palace to –
I’m coming.
Gao Wei is powerful and he seldom asks for assistance. Mu Qing has also kept abreast of the trouble brewing in that area. So he knows it’s best if he attends to the matter himself.
Gao Wei has just realized that his general ended their communication in the array when he feels a powerful presence behind him.
“General Xuan Zhen, thank you for – ”
“Can you not recognize your own fucking general?”
Xuan Zhen’s head disciple lets out a small cry of surprise before bowing incredibly low.
“My apologies, General Nan Yang! I did not foresee that you would come and my general has just said that he is descending and – ”
“Is he now?”
Feng Xin just crosses his arms and glares at Gao Wei’s nervous nods. Together, they wait for Mu Qing to descend. It feels like a shichen passes without the appearance of the general of the southwest, making Feng Xin grit his teeth. Why is he surprised that Mu Qing isn't coming? He’s sure that the omega’s disciple just warned him about the alpha’s presence… using Mu Qing’s new password that Feng Xin still doesn’t know!
His alpha hisses that he should just abandon assisting Gao Wei on this mission (who cares if he has to cede some of his territory to useless ghosts anyway) and crash into the Xuan Zhen palace. But didn’t that not work when he tried before? And then he was slammed with one aggravating mission after another.
“This is so fucking stupid,” he snarled at the Heavenly Court council meeting one full moon ago. “I need to see Mu Qing. You can’t keep sending me away.”
“What are you afraid of, General Nan Yang?” Ling Wen asked, as always unimpressed.
“We haven’t talked since… since…” Feng Xin blushed then. From both of his and Mu Qing's distressed scents, the other gods in Heaven had a clear enough idea of what had happened between the two. “I need to fix this!”
“But you two are now mated, right?” Pei Ming asked. “So what’s the problem?”
“What do you mean, ‘what’s the problem?’ You absolute fucker – ”
“What General Ming Guang means,” Ling Wen interjected calmly, “is that if your partner truly needed you, you wouldn’t be here. You would already be barreling your way to your omega. But you’re still here. So General Xuan Zhen can obviously handle himself. Your Highness,” she turned to Xie Lian, who was frowning, “isn’t that correct? I can’t speak from experience myself.”
“I can’t speak for Mu Qing,” the Crown Prince replied slowly. “It would have been ideal if he was present instead of being on his mission. But in general… that is correct.”
So Feng Xin desisted in his attempts to see Mu Qing. If he wasn’t already tearing down the Xuan Zhen palace so that he could wrap Mu Qing in his arms, didn’t that mean that his omega wanted him to stay away? It’s true that he has been in pain for who knows how long, and some of it might be Mu Qing’s pain, but he can’t really pry his own hurt from his mate’s anymore.
A part of him suspects that their bond is fraying. Feng Xin won’t let it break, though. He loves Mu Qing. He will do anything for him, including listening to his irrational request of not bothering him during his heat and staying away until Mu Qing is ready to talk to him again.
Still, he can’t help his foul mood when the omega doesn’t appear, which only makes Gao Wei jumpier as they trudge deeper into the area that the ghost has snatched from Nan Yang's territory. Feng Xin has called for a few of his own disciples, if only to buffer the poor Gao Wei from his wrath.
When it comes, the ambush doesn’t catch the gods off guard. Yet the onslaught of the demons, both big and small, only increases as time goes by, making Feng Xin curse that he only asked for a handful of his attendants to descend.
It’s not a concern of power but of volume. With so many mindless ghosts diving in for the kill, it’s easy to miss a single attack (or two). Unexpectedly, Feng Xin’s distress suddenly spikes. That’s not like him, these ghosts are annoying but not horrifying… And then this dread becomes his own when he realizes what that acute anguish means –-
Just in time to catch a glimpse of a scrawny, almost invisible ghost emerging from the ground to pierce his heart with her arm, sharpened into a bloodcurdling point –-
–- her ghastly speed only surpassed by Mu Qing stepping out from who-knows-where to deflect her attack –-
–- and to have his own right side impaled.
If your partner truly needed you, you wouldn’t be here. You would already be barreling your way to your omega.
There’s nothing in Feng Xin’s mind. There’s his alpha pulverizing the demon with a rabid snarl in the blink of an eye. Then Mu Qing’s in his arms, and he’s swallowing him in a ferocious kiss, pouring all of his spiritual power into his love to heal him, to apologize, and to beg for forgiveness. And somehow he’s also deflecting the attacks of the ghosts pouring onto them. Fortunately, the assault is at last weakening, maybe because Feng Xin’s savage retaliation from moments ago has cowed them into retreating…
… Except for another demon that would have stabbed him in the back if Mu Qing hadn’t whipped out his saber and stabbed it instead.
“Gods! You’re useless! Dumb! So stupid!” Mu Qing’s able to destroy a few other Menaces while wrenching away from Feng Xin’s warm lips and glaring at him. “You could have died! How are you a martial god!”
The omega is doing a (honestly pitiful) job of trying to look enraged. In any case, Feng Xin can feel his mate’s worry pouring out from him.
“Fuck this, you could have died!” He puts a possessive hand on Mu Qing’s side that’s only starting to heal.
“No,” the other shoots back. “Because I’m not an idiot.”
To emphasize his point, he decimates the last few dozens of ghosts brazen enough to attack the two gods of the south. He does it quickly and easily with deft strokes of his saber. Only his alpha can notice the smallest of flinch from his right side as Mu Qing otherwise so fluidly accomplishes the mission. But it’s more than enough to make Feng Xin growl and pull Mu Qing into another heated kiss.
“My general, thank you so much for descending to assist us, we – ”
Gao Wei’s scintillating gratitude screeches to a halt when he sees the two generals locked in a tight embrace. With a growl of his own, Mu Qing pushes Feng Xin’s face, scowling when he sees an assortment of both of their palace’s officials staring at them. A few paces from them, he sees that very junior official, the one who refused Mu Qing entry into the Nan Yang palace ages ago, gawking at them. His face is stunned and gray. Obviously, he is a brand-new attendant.
“Let them see,” Feng Xin protests, shameless. “Everyone already knows.”
“That’s not the point,” Mu Qing barely avoids the other god’s grabby hands to brush the dirt from his robes. Is there ever any point in teaching this dumbass about decorum?
“We are grateful for your assistance,” General Xuan Zhen says blandly to all the attendants who hastily bow down to the two gods of the south. “You are dismissed.”
When the two are alone, Mu Qing remembers the pain. Not the pain at his right flank, which he can easily ignore. It’s the ache since he returned from his miserable heat, still present and weighing him down. He sees Feng Xin wince. Evidently the alpha is reminded as well.
“Mu Qing – ”
“No.”
The wave of pure hurt emanating from his alpha makes Mu Qing want to pierce his own chest for his love.
“I know,” he starts slowly after exhaling a long, slow breath, “that it’s hard to be with me. If you want an out, tell me, and I will find a way out for you.”
All of a sudden, his bonding gland burns white hot. It’s rage but more than that. It’s disbelief and concern and love and guilt and – He finds Feng Xin holding him from behind, burrowing his nose into his neck, into his scent gland. Mu Qing starts trembling. There’s still the pain, but he can’t help himself from pressing closer to the alpha, from always wanting more.
“Don’t you ever dare mention that again,” Feng Xin hisses in his ear, and it’s his omega that lets out a needy whine. “I know,” he continues, more quietly but still an edge in his voice, “that it’s my fault. I made you think like that. I should have tried harder.”
“This is painful,” Mu Qing whispers. He feels the archer stiffen. “But it’s so much worse when we’re apart.”
“So you won’t keep trying to push me away, I hope?”
How can he, when Feng Xin can so easily die without Mu Qing to watch over him? And he tried to be good and selfless, to push Feng Xin to unbind himself from such a difficult omega… But Mu Qing wants. He wants so much. More than just Feng Xin’s hot skin and his fat knot. He wants Feng Xin’s smile, his warmth, and his happiness. And if the idiot still wants to be bound to him, then…
“It means that I’m going to try to make things simple for you. For us.” He pries himself out of Feng Xin’s embrace, ever so slowly and gently, so as not to alarm his partner. He then gazes straight at him. “It means that I want you to be there for my next heat.”
The wave of relief is refreshing and enormous, a soothing balm to Mu Qing’s sore mating gland. There’s now more than love stirring in Feng Xin’s eyes as he eagerly steps forward… only for Mu Qing to hold his hand up.
“Not now,” he says, rolling his eyes.
“Why the fuck not?” This gives Feng Xin an annoying and foreboding sense of déjà vu.
“Because you pawing at me earlier has started my pre-heat, you oaf,” Mu Qing gives him the tamest of glares.
His omega would have been foolish enough to propel itself into a full heat if it wasn’t for the ghouls that were then ceaselessly trying to rip them apart.
“So?”
“If we continue, it can push me into heat, and no, we are not doing this right now,” he snaps to prevent Feng Xin’s eyes from darkening further. “I need to…” he looks away. “… make some preparations.”
“I can’t resist you now.”
“Then I’m leaving.” The pale god is now looking anywhere but at the archer. The strain between the two is too much. “If you want to spend my heat with me, you will leave me alone until then. Yes,” he softens his tone slightly when he feels the alpha’s doubts welling up, “I will call you.”
“And yes,” he rolls his eyes right as Feng Xin is about to open his big obnoxious mouth, “I will tell you my password.”