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How are we feeling about the lovely wine tonight everyone?. Unfortunately, we were not able to get the kuru in tonight but I'm sure you will find this FFI vintage quite lovely. Now I’ll go over the menu with y’all and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.
To start we have the chef's specials of the night. Beginning with his lovely pan-seared Rousettus bat filet absolutely rife with Marburg virus. It is served with a lovely fruit assortment as well as a cranberry sauce to pair with the lovely red of hemorrhagic fever. Our next specialty of the night is a delicious Shepards pie full of rabies-infected meats with a spinal fluid demiglace guaranteed to give you that warm feeling of a deadly virus burning away your central nervous system. Moving onto dessert we have a showy one tonight. It's a sinus rinse full of our USDA choice Naegleria fowleri amoeba and a lovely lime finish, we like to call it the brain eater.
Now to move on to some recommendations for yall tonight. I'm always partial to the flesh-eater platter which includes necrotizing fasciitis and encephalitic prions to really bring together the glaze for a lovely piece of brain and thigh plated with a selection of vegetables du jour. If you’re feeling in an oceanic mood there's always the fresh Vibro fish fry and the paralytic shellfish poisoned shrimp linguine; both of those always get a kick out of customers. We always have the old-school Steak Frites with a TB glaze. The chef likes to call that one the consumption cause everyone cleans their plate of that one.
Ahh yes drinks how could I forget. I hope we're all enjoying the wine? Well, if anyone wants anything stronger we have a lovely bloody MRSA for those looking for something strong and the classic old fashioned plague for those looking for more old-timey notes to their drink
I'm required to tell all customers that our plates are certified tetanus contaminated so you can get the highest quality infection tonight. Of course, anthrax spores can be added to any dish on request the chef is happy to add it or any other of our large selection of infectious molds. The dining room mountains a large colony of black mold in all of our HVAC units to ensure the best dining experience for you tonight.
Please place your orders now and your protective equipment shall be removed just in time for your appetizers to arrive. Also, please stop resisting the restraints, infection is inevitable and if you choose your dish wisely your death may only take a few days. If you need anything else there will be no one to help you, have a lovely meal.