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Perfection || Nomin
Jaemin, at a young age, started to seek perfection in exchange for love and support. At a young age he learned to sacrifice his true self and show everyone a front that would satisfy the world's expectations of him.
But somehow, he couldn't satisfy the expectations of a Lee Jeno back in university, and maybe it caused something in him.
Alternative Summary: Jaemin's journey from sixteen to the present as he tries to survive the perfect life he built himself.
Jaemin was sixteen and was struggling to accept himself when he first met Jeno. At the same time, he was your typical over-achiever who constantly got burned out in secret. Really, in secret, because Jaemin would never forgive himself if he ever broke down in front of someone, may that be his family, his friends, and Jeno. He was a tightly shut book that refused to budge even when forced open.
In contrast to the over-achieving Jaemin was the leisure in life Jeno. The boy was carefree and held no responsibilities as it may seem. He was always around, having fun with his own set of friends, picking fights here and there, skateboarding, and of course, his passion, making music. Unlike Jaemin who was a tightly shut book, Jeno was obvious, an open book one might say. He was transparent.
But despite their clashing preferences and obvious countering personalities, they managed to make a duo of themselves. Nomin, a mix of Jeno and Jaemin, was a popular title in their batch as it was the product of a bookworm and a jock who manage to coexist without the typical drama that would surround them.
And in Jaemin’s opinion, that was the best. That meant he did not have to stress out about trying to avoid Jeno and the other typical happenings their relationship would bring. Not that they had a relationship that was beyond friendship that is.
Their first encounter was nothing special. Both were in middle school when they first met, crossing paths, unknown of the bond they would share in the future. Their official meeting came in the form of a group presentation. Jaemin and Jeno were grouped with their other classmates for a creative infomercial for their geography class. It was also the moment Jeno and Jaemin first sent each other a text. The events after that were plenty, but that’s for another time.
"Jeno, do you accept imperfection?" Jaemin asked at that time when he and Jeno found themselves paired up for the umpteenth time.
Jeno hummed, looking up from his phone. "Of course I would. Not everyone is Barbie, Jaemin."
But to summarize it, it was a give and take relationship. Although the Jaemin now would consider it with him giving more than taking. He wasn’t that bothered. There was a point in our life we would give more than we take from other. That and because he was a naive boy who was unaware that he fell in love.
Jaemin was seventeen and was hanging out with his friends when he realized that maybe he liked Jeno. He couldn’t confirm it as he expected his tiny feeling for Jeno was merely a crush that he forced himself to have. Sadly, it was not forced as he realized that he unconsciously developed it over the time they spent together. It was terrifying.
“Guys,” Jaemin remembered calling for his friends, disturbing the gossiping session. It was Karina’s turn to share what she heard from the school council. Everyone had turned toward him, all raising brows in question. “Do you think that I like Jeno?”
Xiaojun, his best friend, snorted at that time. “How can you like that guy? He’s such a free-loader.”
Jeno is not entirely a free-loader, Jaemin at that time wanted to counter. It was just, the older was not given a specific task to do. So of course he wouldn’t be doing much.
He was about to open his mouth when Karina beat him to it, silencing him with a glare.
“Not to mention his skateboarding hobby. I mean,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes sassily, “Who even uses skateboards these days? He’s such a weirdo.”
Jeno isn’t entirely a weirdo, Jaemin at that time thought. He found Jeno’s skateboarding hobby fun to watch. He wished he could try doing it but always held back because of the idea of getting hurt. Not to mention how it would go against his principles as an uptight nerd.
“Not to mention his fashion sense,” Hyunjin said exasperatedly, showing them a picture of Jeno in an oversized shirt and pants with sports shoes. He shivered in disgust. “Oversize on oversize? He should at least know basic fashion.”
Jeno can dress up if he wanted to, sadly that was a rare occurrence as the older found no reason to dress up, even if it was wash day in school. And, in Jaemin’s opinion at that time, there was nothing wrong with putting two oversized articles of clothing together since it was comfy. He lived to the saying, comfort before style.
“And I heard,” It was from Sunno and Jaemin remembered it being the thing that caused him to reconsider his attraction and possibly romantic feelings toward Jeno. “He comes from an average family and he would pursue music rather than a decent career. Can you imagine that? Why would you pick music? Not like it’s going to feed you or something.”
Sunoo had a point. Jeno’s hobby or whatever he considered music was not going to feed any mouths. Jaemin needed to be practical if he wanted to survive the capitalistic life he was born into. There was no such thing as following your dreams. You had to follow what would keep you alive.
Jaemin at that time realized that falling for Jeno was a losing gamble. He was not risking his bright future for a man who didn’t care of his own.
It was Jeno and Jaemin, Jaemin and Jeno, in simple words, Nomin. It was not Jaemin, Jeno, Shotaro.
Shotaro was a Japanese transferee that transferred and became their classmate during their last year in school before college. The Japanese was quiet and shy but managed to befriend Jeno. Jaemin remembered Jeno claiming that the Japanese needed a friend, thus he decided to introduce himself then to Jaemin.
Jaemin remembered feeling jealous at that time. It was supposed to be him and Jeno, not Jeno and Shotaro and him. It was only the two of them.
And what irked him more was the way Jeno started leaning more on Shotaro than him. Wasn’t he the person Jeno met first? Why was Jeno gravitating toward a clueless Japanese? Where was the fairness?
Sadly, nothing was fair in the world.
Unlike him who disapproved of Jeno pursuing music as a career, Shotaro was full-on supporting the older. The otter would always listen to his tracks and offered encouragement, whereas Jaemin would ignore it whenever Jeno played and would always point out the mistakes.
The Jaemin now realized how he should have listened and supported Jeno. Maybe if he did, he wouldn't be suffering in a confusing and fake marriage, living in a lonely and desolated house, and a life that was too perfect that it became suffering.
Jaemin was turning eighteen when he and Jeno first had their major fight that led to their relationship faltering. It was something trivial on Jeno’s part but was hurting and bothering Jaemin so much to the point he had to voice it out during one of his and Jeno’s study sessions. The Jaemin now realized it was trivial. Since when was jealousy something so bothersome that he would argue it?
"I'm just saying," Jaemin at that time seethed, looking away from Jeno. His chest heaved up and down with agitation. "I don't get why you have to invite Shotaro."
"I have to invite him because he's our friend." Jeno countered, eyes confused st Jaemin’s sudden shift. The Jaemin he knew was always open to anyone.
"Our friend?" Jaemin scoffed, turning back to look at Jeno with a pointed look. "He's your friend, not mine!"
Jeno furrowed his brows. "Mine? Jaemin he's our—"
"He's not mine! He was never my friend!" Jaemin screamed in frustration, stomping his feet on the ground. "He was never my friend. The only reason I tolerated his imperfect ass is because he's your friend. I never saw him as my friend, and I'll never see him as my acquaintance. He's a stranger to me."
Jaemin now realized how selfish he sounded. He realized how wrong it was as well. Shotaro was an innocent human who ended up being his source of jealousy. He realized how petty he was.
Jeno blinked at him in disbelief. Jaemin at that time grew even more frustrated.
"I said it." He sighed, voice dropping into a whisper. "I said it. I don't like him, and I don't like you." Hastily, he packed up his stuff. He knew Jeno was going to fight for Shotaro. And he'd rather not see or hear it. He narrowed his eyes at Jeno, heart thumping. "I have to go."
He turned around, blinking the threatening tears away before walking away from Jeno with his head up high and steps heavy with contempt.
Jaemin’s birthday came a week after that. He didn't invite his friends. He never invited his friends to occasions like this. He was the boring friend, meaning his party would be the same.
He still received some greetings, from friends, distant relatives, some random people his parents knew, and from Jeno. Jeno still remembered it.
That made him feel guilty. Of course, he had pride so he never responded to it, merely seening it before achiving Jeno’s messages. He needed time.
Sadly, the time he needed extended until their high school graduation. Jaemin remembered ignoring Jeno the entire time. He also remembered glaring at Shotaro and thought of him as the root of all his and Jeno’s problem. He wished the otter gone.
Karina slapped his arm, bringing his mind back to earth. "I heard Jeno is going to pursue his passion," she rolled her eyes at the word, "I thought you would convince him not to."
"Who cares," Jaemin remembered rolling his eyes. Jeno was stubborn as a bull and he didn't want to waste his precious time over something so trivial. "Let him rot in his dreams. I didn't follow mine and I'm happy."
Well, Jaemin was not sure if he was entirely and honestly happy. He doesn't remember the last time he tried fighting a smile. It was always timed or just for show. It was tiring.
Karina nodded her head. "Yes, true. No one is going to get rich with music. We have to be practical!"
Jaemin wondered if being practical was always right. He means, he's always been practical to the point people considered him apathitic. He didn't care of people's emotions, he care about the outcome of those emotions.
Jaemin was trying to get through life after college when his parents told him not to settle for anything or anyone that was ordinary. He must strive for the best.
Jaemin remembered smiling at his parents' words. He deciphered it as, settle for a man with a great standing. Someone rich and provides you, and most definitely us, a comfortable life.
And coincidentally, he met an obnoxious heir who needed a partner that could do his work for him.
No love or connection, they married, ran the heir's business until the heir became the chairman, and until they had a child out of obligation.
Present
Jaemin smiled at his husband's board of directors. He was present in his husband's behalf as the man was stuck in a country across the globe doing who knows what now that his business trip ended two days ago.
Jaemin was now the vice-chairman of Wong Makeup industries and the CEO of Neo Classical Tunes, an entertainment company that was rapidly growing in success because of their latest debut, Mark Lee. He was also the husband of Wong Kunhang or Hendery as he approved.
He shook hands with the only director he got along with. Usually, the men were too high up their egos to fully acknowledge his presence and human value. He was not a gold digger.
"Kunhang is so lucky to have you." The director told him, a proud smile on his aged features. He has known Jaemin since the two started dating, six years ago. "You're smart, sensible, generous, forgiving, wise, everything! You're so perfect, Mr. Wong."
"Thank you sir." Jaemin could only fake a smile. Since he married Hendery, he was no longer Na Jaemin or Jaemin, he was Mr. Wong. He was only a man with his husband's name. "Does your wife enjoy the set I gave her? I personally made sure to get those porcelain china set."
He really did not want to go to China personally as he wanted to avoid meeting his wretched in-laws, but Hendery told him how he had to keep this director on his good side if he ever wanted to remain in power.
Power, he already has it all. He had the power to crush these people, but he didn't. And he didn't know why.
He pulled away from the hand shake, smiling at the old man. "Did the madam mention about a tea party? I plan on hosting one, if she did not plan already."
The man chuckled,"I am unaware of my wife's private affair, mr. Wong, but I will make sure to have a reply. How about—"
"Mr. Wong," a maid entered the conference room, bowing to the two superiors before scurrying to stand by Jaemin’s side. She whispered to his ear, "the young master has awoken."
Jaemin nodded his head at her, sending her away with a flick of his hand. He bowed to the man. "I have to go, director Wu. I believe my son has risen from his nap and is causing chaos to his nannies."
The man, director Wu, chuckled again. "Of course, children can be complex, but I'm sure you can sort it out mr. Wong. You are the perfect husband, surely you are also the perfect parent."
Jaemin was being threatened. Even if this man was on his side, they were just being civil. They still wanted him to fail, to crack under the pressure.
"I'll be going now, mr. Wu."
Everywhere Jaemin walked, someone was there to bow, heed his calls, and tell him exactly what was going on. He made sure everyone of his staff knew about this. He needed them to be perfect for his liking.
He let the maid from before guide him to his office. His son, one he had to bear out of obligation, was waiting for him and was probably crying the heads of his nannies off. He's an energetic child like his father.
Father, Jaemin paused from walking, making the maid stop as well, turning to him with a confused expression.
"Sir?"
"Dear," Jaemin called the maid sweetly. Do not be alarmed, he called all his staff dear since he couldn't familiarize himself with their names. He also called his husband through his preferred name anyway. "Where is Hendery as of the moment?"
"The master is on his way to our home country, sir. He told the staff to prepare a feast for his return."
Jaemin let out a soft 'ah' before clasping his hands together, a tight smile adoring his lips. "I see." He said through gritted teeth right after. "Prepare the main dining room. Make sure everything is perfect."
"Right away, sir." The maid knew better than to question if she would do it now. Whatever the sir's request must be fulfilled immediately. "Excuse me sir."
"You are excused."
"There you are." Jaemin smiled, a genuine one at his son. The little baby was with his nannies, playing with his Torchic plushie that Giselle gifted when he turned a year old.
The baby, noticing the presence of his other father, turned around with the help of his nannies before shakily walking toward Jaemin.
Jaemin kneeled down, arms open as he waited for his son to crash into them. Once his son was close, he closed them hugging the boy tightly.
"My son." Jaemin muttered, nose sniffing his son's baby scent. "I miss you."
"Papa," his son called back before squealing as Jaemin pulled away slightly and pepper his face with kisses.
Jaemin may regret many things in his life, but he would never regret bringing into this world this little boy. He was his ray of the sunshine. The only reason why he hasn't killed himself yet.
He cupped his son's cheeks. "My Jisungie~" he cooed, silently chuckling as his son copied his actions. He stared at his son's eyes, one that mirrored his own. It held the universe. It held the innocent spark that he lost the moment he was able to talk.
Jaemin’s smile faltered slightly. "My Jisungie, stay innocent until then. Don't make the world open your eyes to its imperfections."
He doesn't care if he has to fight a war to keep Jisung away from the harsh realities of life. He was a parent, it was his obligation.
"Sir," the same maid from before called as he hurriedly entered the room. She bowed at his first. "The master has returned."
Living with Hendery was not a challenge. They were both civil.
Jaemin means, they know how to act. It was not the same as a couple that were in love with each other, but they did acknowledge each other with warmth— as much warmth Jaemin could give that is.
"I see you have returned." Jaemin entered the main dining area where Hendery sat at the head of the table.
The chairman was dressed in luxurious robes that he would wear whenever he was at home. He reasoned that he wears a suit almost everyday in the office and when he goes outside, it was only right that he wears something less constricting at home.
Jaemin would differ. Home or not, he was always dressed to impress, even his nightwear.
Jaemin carried Jisung in his arms, the baby looking wildly around the spacious room. He sat on the seat at the right lf Hendery. He was his husband, thus his right hand man. He gave Jisung to the awaiting nannies and watched as they strapped him into his own customized high-chair.
"Yes," Hendery smiled briefly at his husband before motioning the staff to serve their dinner. "I bought many things for you."
Jaemin knew. Hendery always filled the void of their loveless marriage with gifts. He means, they were rich. What else would they spend their money on?
"I'm sure you did." Jaemin picked up his wine glass, motioning it for the staff member who scampered to retrieve his favorite wine. "Met any interesting people?"
"None, but I did end up seeing this beautiful moon tree." Hendery sliced into his steak. He prefered chicken, but whatever his husband ordered to cook. He turned to look at Jaemin. "Should we buy one?"
"Unless you want our mansion to look like a forest," Jaemin turned to Hendery with a smile that dropped, "no."
"Right." Hendery looked away, resuming with his dinner. "Um...how about you, Jaemin? Met any interesting people?"
"The people I meet are the same." Came Jaemin’s dull voice. "All after our money."
There may be no love but they learned to use the word that meant you and I.
"Sad," Hendery mused, calling for a staff member to get him some wine. He wanted coke but Jaemin might scowl at him. "I heard you'll be having a new artist under your care. Someone deciding to continue their path under NCT ent's care."
"Sadly, I do not care." Jaemin deadpanned. He despised music ever since graduated college. He made sure that no one within his hearing range would play a single note or hum a single tune. He doesn't even know why he ended up being the CEO of an entertainment company. "I'll have one of my staff members to deal with that."
"Are you not curious?"
Jaemin frowned, pulling away his knife and fork away from his plate before throwing it down. He turned to Hendery with an annoyed look. "You know the reason why I do not associate myself with musicians." He looked away, poking his inner cheek with his tongue. He pushed his plate away. "Keep it," he stood up from his seat, the screach of the chair against the floor making everyone flinch. "I'm finished with supper."
Jaemin knew Hendery didn't mean to budge him. His husband knew very well why he hated music. Even teased him about being like King Triton from the little mermaid. But, it got annoying how Hendery continued with the conversation.
He didn't even get to kiss his son goodnight. Was his a good father? Or even a husband? He wasn't sure.
Jaemin was in his and Hendery's shared bedroom. They were supposed to have separate rooms, but they came to the conclusion it would be safer for them, seeing only the two of them knew of their arrangements.
He was looking out the french doors that led to their balcony. The lights were off, as he liked, and the only light source was the moon that shined brightly in the clear sky. He blinked, trying to ground himself back.
"Jaemin?"
Jaemin did not need to look away to greet Hendery. The older would ignore him anyway and join him looking at the moon, sometimes Hendery would sit on their bed looking at him.
Hendery decided to do the former, standing at Jaemin's right side. "I'm sorry." He apologized, "I...I shouldn't have pushed you."
"It's okay." Jaemin replied right away. There was no point in stalling. They were adults, not petty kids or teens. He was not a petty teen. He was a reasonable adult. "Is Jisung sleeping?"
"The nannies are about to get him ready for bed. " Hendery replied, "would you want to kiss him goodnight."
He would, but, "No. I am tired. You must be too. Come, let us retire."
"Of course Jaemin."
"Mr. Wong," his assistant, who coincidentally had the same name as his son, Jisung, greeted him as he entered his office in Neo Classical Tunes entertainment main building. He rarely came here, only for important meetings or during emergency situations that needed his help.
He nodded at the assistant before walking to his seat. Jisung was quick to jog past him and pull out his chair. Once Jaemin was seated, he pushed the chair into Jaemin’s perfect distance.
"What is today's agenda?" Jaemin asked, flipping through the black binder that Jisung prepared for him. Inside was his schedule for today. He frowned, seeing as he had to meet the new artist. He closed the bonder with a loud thud, handing it to Jisung. He motioned for his assistant to start.
"Other than the usual meetings set with the managers of the artists and head of the company, you will be meeting the artist that would sign today. It would be in a press conference." Jisung promptly answered, taking out a retractable pen from his pocket and started jotting down what he knew his boss would want for the day. "Shall I send Miss Ning for your suit or would you like Miss Yu to style you?"
"None." Jaemin waved off. He'd like to distance himself with people who made him seek perfection. "I will get ready by myself. Have my bathroom ready."
"Right away sir." Jisung then took out his phone, typing a quick message to the staff in charge of accompanying Jaemin for the day. "Your coffee is on the way. Is there something else, sir?"
Jaemin hummed, spinning his chair around where he was facing the city river that could be seen from his office.
"Sir?"
Jaemin wanted to know who this artist was and how prominent he was in the industry so when he was going to sign into his entertainment company needed a press conference. "None. You are dismissed."
Jaemin fixed the collar of his undershirt. He decided to go for a regal white look that would match today's event. He looked at himself through the bathroom mirror.
He tilted his head to the side, admiring himself. He looked tired. His eyes no longer shined the way it used to. He looked straight, the ends of his lips being pulled upward and made an awkward smile. He needed to practice. He needed to control his features.
Once he deemed his smile was perfect, he closed his eyes briefly. He needed to collect himself. He is Wong Jaemin, Neo Classical Tunes' perfect CEO. He should be perfect.
"Let us," he breathed out, opening his eyes and stared into his perfect reflection. "Welcome the new staff member."
Even if he claimed to the public that his artists were his family, he only saw as his staff members that were fortunately blessed with talents and looks or pure luck that were loved by the public. He found them inferior to his perfect self. No one was on par with him in this world.
"Mr. Wong."
Jaemin recognized the artist who greeted him, Kang Taehyun, he was a good one. Not one surrounded by scandals and knew his place in Jaemin’s world. He nodded his head in acknowledgment.
Taehyun was leaning against the corridor wall before pushing himself off and trailing behind Jaemin.
Taehyun smiled briefly, "The new artist signing under your name will be someone who will bring more fame to your name." His eyes had a glint of intent. "Will you meet them personally?"
Jaemin does not want to but it was his obligation. "Of course, I will."
Taehyun choked in surprise, stumbling on his own feet as well. "You will sir? May I know why?"
"It does not matter." Jaemin stopped in the elevator, turning briefly to Josung who nodded his head and took out his phone, and called some staff members to prepare his seat in the conference.
"What matters is," Jaemin looked over his shoulder and at Taehyun with a passive look. "This artist should be perfect to uphold the standard of our company."
Jaemin smiled at the press who managed to spot them. The new artist was nowhere in sight, probably backstage where the rest of the staff were.
He didn't care. He came here to show that he welcomed the new artist. Nothing more.
He settled in the seat at the center of the front row, facing the table. Around him were his staff members and bodyguards. He glanced at his wrist watch, frowning at how the event was starting late.
He motioned with his finger for Jisung to lean close. "Are the organizers not aware of the time or are they incompetent?"
"There seems to be trouble with the artist's outfit." Jisung replied, glancing at the message from the staff backstage. "Shall I make them make haste?"
Jaemin shook his head. "They already showed how unorganized they are. Make sure the head gives a word to them and warm them that if this were to happen again, they can expect a termination. Got it?"
"Yes sir."
The sound of cameras coming off behind Jaemin brought him back to reality. He licked his lips, fixing his suit again before focusing his attention on the empty table. Well, here goes the entrance of another staff member.
"Everyone, Lee Jeno."
Jaemin scoffed. The odds of that person being the same Lee Jeno is low. It was probably a coincidence.
His face was calm, although his hands were tightly clenched on his lip. Jisung beside him took a glance, worry evident on his features.
"Sir," Jisung called calmly, "Is there—"
Jaemin laughed in his mind. Was life being a bitch to him by bringing him the boy he liked? Bringing him back his past regrets. He wondered if life planned it. Giving him perfection then suddenly crushing it down with his past .
Sadly, life was facing Na Jaemin, the man of perfection. Life had to try harder.
"I will be leaving." Jaemin announced, standing up from his seat and stealing the attention of the press. He turned to the side and started walking. He didn't need to be here and he couldn't give a fuck what the press would put in the narrative of him walking out.
Jisung, who was caught off guard at first, hastily got up as well, trailing after Jaemin with long strides. "Sir—"
"Give me a copy of Lee Jeno’s contract."
Jaemin felt his brain wanting to explode. He couldn't believe his staff members could be so stupid.
Jeno's contract had loopholes, one that if not edited would bring them harm. His artists were not allowed to date, public or private. In Jeno's contract, Jeno was not allowed to date and did not expound to the degree and other. His contract had so many loopholes that he was tempted to fire whoever made it. Not to mention how he did not approve of this.
"What is this!?" Jaemin seethed, pointing at an agreement from the artist. "This contract is for the artist, not the artist and his team. What the hell are we doing with his staff!?"
Actually, it was compromisable but once Jaemin saw the names of Jeno’s team, he decided to let his irrationality take the lead.
He pointed at a familiar name. "A choreographer? Don't we have plenty of those and I'm sure there are people who are better than him. We do not settle for mediocre work, Jisung. We strive for perfection and if this," Jaemin closed the bonder, throwing it at Jisung who dodged, already used to Jaemin’s tantrums. "This choreographer cannot meet that then there is no point in keeping him!"
"But sir," Jising picked up the thrown binder, placing it under his arm. "Jeno would not sign with us if we did not allow that."
Jaemin scoffed, "So? There are plenty of artists worth our efforts and fit into our perfect standard. Take Heuning Kai for example. Sinb and Eunha, they reach our standard. They are the standard. I don't get why you settled for someone like Jeno. He's nothing but a skating addict with no sense in life other than music!" Jaemin seethed, slamming his clenched fists on the table. "Who even approved this?"
"M-mr. Wong, sir." Jisung replied, frightened.
"My husband?"
"His cousin, sir."
"Of course." Jaemin spat in contempt. If there was someone who liked playing with his guts, it would be Hendery's cousin and his husband. He sighed in annoyance. "I can't do anything about that, but make sure that this will be sorted out. His team is out. We do not accept dreamers, we accept stars."
"Someone told me you walked out of the press conference."
"I'm sure whoever told you that was behind this welcome party." Jaemin whispered through gritted teeth at Hendery as they walked, arms locked together, and smiles decorating their faces.
"My cousin's husband isn't going to like that if he heard you." Hendery whispered back, tilting his head to where his cousin's husband was, busy talking to the reason for the party. "Or my cousin for that manner."
"Your cousin better be thankful that I'm running his circus show for six years rather than selling it." Jaemin huffed, then smiled at Mr. Wu who he spotted at a distance. "This place makes me sick."
"I'm sure it does." Hendery, shifted their arms wherein they stayed at their sides. He intertwined their hands, raising it at a group of investors. He had a proud smile. "Smile for the money."
"Of course." Jaemin did as told, following wherever he felt right until they reached Hendery's in-law. His in-law smiled moving away from Jeno and approached them.
"Jaemin." His in-law gripped his shoulder and gave air kisses on both of his cheeks. It was irritating as he could sense the fakeness of it.
"Jungwoo," Jaemin was the one who pulled away, smiling at Jungwoo, although his eyes were narrowing at the older. "Lovely party. However," he shook the grip on his shoulders. "It is completely irrelevant. People will speak how biased you are."
"But I am." Jungwoo replied, "I am biased with this artist. In fact, I want you to meet him. Jeno," he called the man Jaemin wanted to avoid. Jeno stood beside Jungwoo, smiling at Jaemin and Hendery. "This is Lee Jeno. I personally asked my husband to offer him a contract."
"Yes, and sadly I was not informed." Jaemin replied through gritted teeth. "You know the protocol Jungwoo, regardless if you are the chairman's husband, all contracts will pass through me before being approved."
"Was it not passed to you?" Jungwoo feigned innocence that made Jaemin’s blood boil. Annoying bitch.
"No it was not." Jaemin replied promptly. "In fact, I was not aware it would be Lee who would be joining us."
"Oh, is it because he doesn't fit your perfect standards?"
Jaemin turned his attention to Jeno who was staring at him. "Sadly, Yes."
"Jaemin, I hope you realized you just said you don't see Jeno as your artist." Hendery told his husband.
They were now in the guest room provided by Jungwoo as the party raged on until midnight and Jising was already sleeping when they were about to leave. Jungwoo's invitation to have them spend the night was not out of concern and generosity, but to spite Jaemin in the morning.
"And I really don't." Jaemin seethed, slamming down the book he was reading on his lap. He huffed. "I want him out."
Hendery chuckled at his husband's pettiness. Jaemin may act all perfect and distant with people, but in reality, he was just a baby trying to survive in life. He joined Jaemin on the bed.
"I'm sure you, Jaemin." Hendery switched off his side night lamp before pecking a kiss on Jaemin's cheek. He pulled the covers over him, laying on his side. "Good night."
Jaemin hummed, "Good night, love you, sweet dreams."
Someone kill me now, Jaemin dreaded in his mind as he sat beside Jeno. Jungwoo, the little bitch and thorn he was, decided to let Jeno and his team stay for the night with reason it was too dangerous to leave so late. And had the audacity to let Jeno sit beside him and have the choreographer, Shotaro if you did not get it, sit across the idol.
He seethed, setting his cup of coffee back in the saucer with a loud clunk. He narrowed his eyes at Hendery.
Hendery, being clueless as he is, decided to laugh, an awkward one that added tension to the atmosphere.
"So Jaemin," Jungwoo started, "About last night—"
"What about last night?" Jaemin spat, turning his gaze to his in-law. He was always passive so his sudden shift of attitude surprised Jungwoo.
"Do you not see Jeno as a great artist? He and his team have bagged various national awards."
"Any international?" Jaemin asked, picking up his cup again. He was slowly losing his appetite.
"Not as of the moment." It Jeno who answered, turning to Jaemin.
Jaemin scoffed, lowering his cup back into its saucer. "Then that justifies my point. I only handle stars, not hopeful dreamers."
"You're a bit harsh, Jaemin." Jungwoo countered, "Everyone deserves to dream. Didn't—"
"No Jungwoo," Jaemin got up from his seat, pushing his chair back as he looked pointedly at Jungwoo who stared at him with surprise. "I did not follow my dreams, and if I did, you wouldn't be seeing me here and you wouldn't be in your place. Remember, Jungwoo, without me, you wouldn't be a Wong."
"You hurt Jungwoo's feelings." Hendery commented, fixing his suit tie.
He and Jaemin were in their son's nursery in their home. Jaemin decided to work from home as of the moment as things were stressing him in the office. And because he knew Jungwoo would go there and demand for his presence. Hendery, being the caring husband he was, decided to take Jaemin's place in the office
"I'm sure I did." Jaemin rolled his eyes. Jungwoo deserved it anyway. If he wasn't being a bitch, Jaemin would have kept his mouth shut. But no, Jungwoo had to open it. "I'll have someone send him some snoopy figures or something. He's not hard to please."
"I'll hold on to that." Hendery bent down to Jaemin's sitting height and kissed his temple before kissing Jisung on the forehead. He stood up straight. "I'll be going."
"Keep safe." Jaemin played with Jisung's arms, raising them up and down.
"I will."
With Hendery gone, Jaemin turned his full attention to his son who was laughing. It was the only music he allowed in his life.
"My Jisungie~" He cooed, bumping their noses together and making the child squeal in glee. "Do you want to watch tv?" He asked, eyes on Jisung until it shifted to the wall clock of the room. "Oh, it's feeding time. Dear," he called on a maid, "Bring Jisung's bottle."
"Will you be feeding him, sir?"
It was a harmless and obvious question, and Jaemin was being kind. "Yes, please bring it to the living room."
"Right away sir."
Jaemin got up from his seat, carrying Jsiung before settling him on his hip. He decided to feed in the living room, maybe watch some tv.
Jaemin smiled at the performance on tv. He had given Jising to his nanny, afraid that baby would feel his rage. He took in calculated breaths. He had to be calm. Lax if you will.
"Dear," he called a maid, "bring me the house phone."
"So you've heard." Came Karina’s voice from the tv. Jaemin decided to use a bigger screen if he was going to talk with his obnoxious friends.
"Oh he sure has." Came Yeonjun. He was in a salon as Jaemin could tell, getting his hair done.
"I have tickets!" Beomgyu announced, waving it in front of the screen.
"Why do you even have that?" Xiaojun asked, munching on some salad. He was probably on break.
"Because!" Beomgyu replied.
"Guys," Jaemin called for their attention. He was getting a sense of deja vu. "How long...how long did all of you know about this?"
All of his friends showed a guilty look. It irritated him. Were they hypocrites?!
"Probably when Jeno made his breakthrough." Sunoo replied. He was a singer so knowing and bumping into Jeno was a normal thing during award season.
"And you—all of you did not tell me." Jaemin glared at the camera that he asked the staff to set up.
"Because we knew you'd run to him! You weren't married yet." Jungwon replied calmly.
Maybe they had a point. Knowing himself, Jaemin would run back to Jeno. He did have a self-realization. He clicked his tongue.
"Still! How dare you keep this from me. Don't you know how lonely I am!?"
"But Jaemin," Donghyuck whined, face not visible from the screen and instead was the kitchen in his apartment. "How can you be lonely!? You have the perfect life!"
But sometimes being perfect does not guarantee happiness. "Still, you all hid this from me."
"Look Jaemin, we did what's good for you, Hendery, and Jisung." Karina sighed, "We wanted to keep you safe."
"By pushing me past my sanity!?" Jaemin exclaimed pointedly. "I am slowly going insane living this perfect life. I don't know myself anymore. This," he pulled on his clothes, "is not me. This," he pulled on his hair, "Is not me. And certainly this," he showed them his hand that had a ring on the ring finger. "Is not me. I married as Na Jaemin, not Jaemin."
"What difference does it make?" Xiaojun asked. "It's still you Jaemin."
Jaemin shook his head. "It's not Xiaojun. Na Jaemin is the shell I created to survive life. Jaemin is my soul that has died the moment I chose to be perfect."
"I thought you didn't like music. You found it irrelevant." Hendery said slowly, turning to Jaemin.
They were in a private booth in the stadium in Jeno's concert. It came as a surprise for Hendery when Jaemin announced he wanted to attend the concert.
"I still do." Jaemin replied, eyes focused on the empty stage. "I'm just here to assess what Lee Jeno can bring to us."
Hendery chuckled in disbelief. There was no point of hiding. He turned away from Jaemin while shaking his head in amusement. "Whatever you say, Jaemin."
"Jeno-ssi, your song puzzle piece, I heard it's dedicated to your first love. Is it true?" Jae-jae, the mc for the concert, asked. It was what one would call half-time.
Jeno nodded his head, eyes turning into cresents as he smiled at the crowd. "Yes, it's about my first love."
A series of 'oh' came from the crowd. They didn't expect such some would be dedicated to someone. They always thought it was dedicated to them.
"Oh that's interesting." Jae-jae nodded her head. "Can you tell us why? If that is okay with you."
"I think it's about time I tell you this story. I mean, I've always been open with my fans." Jeno waved at the crowd that cheered. "He was first love. We met in our freshman year of high school. We were very different. You could call him your typical nerd."
"Ah a nerd. If I recall it right, Jeno-ssi was a jock back in high school. Wah, it's cliche."
Jeno chuckled. It was cliche. "Yeah. You'd think we'd not get along but we got along well. He was the one who always looked out for me."
"Oh~ interesting. How was your relationship like? Friends or?"
"Friends." Jeno answered, voice sad. "But some thought we were more. I thought we were more, but," he shook his head. "We weren't."
"Aw~ did you meet him again though?"
Jeno nodded his head. "Yeah, he's actually in the crowd."
Jaemin flinched, turning to Hendery who found everything amusing. Hendery was fine with it, he guessed. He was fine that a song was dedicated to his husband and the artist was brave enough to reveal it.
"I—"
"It's okay, Jaemin. We never met during that time." Hendery reassured, "shall we continue listening?"
Jaemin frowned. "But—"
"Listen Jaemin."
"Oh, he is?" Jae-jae scanned the crowd. Squinting her eyes as he tried to spot the first love of Jeno. "Is he in the crowd or in the booths?"
"Booths." Jenk replied, earning gasps from the crowd. "My team told me he was around."
"Ah, would you be talking to him after the concert?"
"Hopefully," Jeno chuckled, "It seemed like he hates my guts."
"Huh? How can someone hate our captain?" Jae-jae looked at the booths, "Yah! How can you hate our captain!?"
"Exactly Jaemin," Hendery chuckled as he turned to look at his husband. "How can you hate Jeno?"
"If you're jealous, say it rather than mocking me." Jaemin spat, glaring at the stage. He wanted to leave. Walk out if he will and never take a look back and ponder his irrational actions.
"I am not jealous." Hendery replied matter if factly. "I am just concerned that someone from your past still has his eyes set on you."
"His eyes are not set on me, Hendery." Jaemin grumbled out. "His eyes and heart are set to—"
"His choreographer." Hendery supplied, "Would you want to meet them after the concert?"
Hendery was a man that made Jaemin question his decisions constantly. It made him question whether or not he made the right choice of introducing himself and marrying him.
He was also a man of mystery. Jaemin, throughout their 6 years of marriage, never understood Hendery's way of thinking and possibly how he viewed Jaemin. One minute Jaemin would believe Hendery sees him as a business partner, and the next he would act like an actual husband who grew jealous everytime someone would look his way.
And other times, Hendery would act like he didn't care.
Jaemin felt Hendery's grip on his hip tighten painfully. They were now backstage and were congratulating the staff with their presence. He hissed, feeling Hendery's nails dig on his skin.
"Jeno," Hendery greeted, smiling at the artist who was busy talking with his choreographer. "Lovely concert."
Jeno looked away from his choreographer, smiling and eyes turning into cresents as he approached the couple. He bowed at them. "I'm happy to hear that, sir. I made sure to do my best after knowing you would watch."
"Does that mean you would only do mediocre if we were not going to attend?" Hendery taunted, eyes narrowing at the artist. "I would like to tell you Jeno that in my husband's company," Hendery gestured to Jaemin who was silent. "We only strive for perfection. You are carrying my husband's name."
"Of course sir." Jeno's attention was set on Jaemin. He wanted to push Hendery away as he noticed the subtle sign of Jaemin being in pain. He looked at Hendery with a narrowed look. "I always do my best."
"I'm sure you do." Hendery smiled fakely. He turned to Jaemin. "My husband wants to exchange a few words with you."
"In private." Jaemin added, "Exchange a few words in private."
"Ah, yes, in private." Hendery's grip tightened and Jaemin knew it was already bruised. He leaned close into Jaemin’s ear. "Don't do anything that can tarnish you perfect reputation. Remember, it is our money." He whispered before pulling away and settling a kiss on Jaemin's temple. He slowly unwrapped his arm around Jaemin’s waist and took a step back. "I will be waiting in the car."
"This way Mr. Wong."
The moment Jeno closed the door of the dressing room, Jaemin felt his muscles relax. He even let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Not to mention he slouched, eyes dropping slightly in exhaustion.
It was always like this. With Jeno, he felt like he could be himself. Show Jaemin.
He focused on Jeno who faced him, lower back leaned on the edge of the dressing room table and had his arms crossed. He looked Jeno in the eye. It held many emotions.
"Hi," Jaemin decided to be the one to be brave this time. He fought back a smile. It felt weird doing so. "You've been doing well."
"And I could say the same to you." Jeno replied lightly, eyes turning into cresents as he smiled at Jaemin. It felt perfect. "You're married now."
Jaemin felt bothered now that Jeno acknowledged that. "Yeah," he scratched his left arm awkwardly. "And you're dating, Shotaro."
"Is that okay?" Jeno asked him. He was well aware of the dating band. He expected Jaemin to sermonise him, but the CEO didn't. "With you."
"I—" For personal reasons, Jaemin wanted to say no. Jeno was his, the same way he was to Jeno. "I'll have to think about it. I cannot bend the rule solely on you. My staff would think of me as biased."
"Aren't you?"
He is. "I am not." Jaemin looked away from Jenl, downcasting his gaze to his shoes. He took in a deep breath in and out, clenching his hands at his sides. "Are you," it felt heavy, "are you happy?"
"In what?"
"With the imperfect way you are living right now? I hope you realize that one moment you can have it all, then have nothing at all."
Jeno jutted out his bottom lip. "I am," he looked at how Jaemin's body jolted at his answer. "Because imperfection taught me lessons. If my life were to be perfect, I wouldn't know how to value the things—people that I have." He pushed himself off the table, taking five big steps toward Jaemin. Once he was in front of the younger, he cupped Jaemin’s slim cheeks and tilted his head upward. "Remember when I said not everyone is Barbie? This is what I mean Jaemin, not everyone can be anything. Not everyone can fit into every shoe."
Tears threatened to fall of Jaemin's eyes. He parted his lips, taking breaths through there.
Not everyone can fit in all shoes, but he managed to do it. He exhaled shakily.
"How so?"
"There's a reason why certain skills are called unique skills. They fit unique for you. You don't have to copy everything and paste it into yourself." Jeno tilted Jaemin’s head down and kissed the crown of his hair. "You're perfect the way you are, Jaemin."
Jaemin closed his eyes, allowing himself to cry for the first time in years. He let Jeno move his hands from his cheeks to his waist where the older wrapped around and hugged him. One hand found its way to his back and was rubbing comforting circles.
It felt weird. Hearing someone say he was perfect as Jaemin and not Na Jaemin. And tge feeling of being hugged by someone. It was different.
And maybe it felt that was because that someone was Jeno, the person who made him feel perfect.
He wanted it to be that way. Him and Jeno against the world that deemed him imperfect. He wanted it to be Jeno and Jaemin, partners for life.
But that cannot be...
He already built something he is scared to destroy. He was afraid to pain the crisp white walls of his life with red that symbolized his passion.
He was scared...
"You're my missing puzzle piece, Jaemin." Jeno said softly once Jaemin stopped crying. He rocked them side to side. "I love you."
And so did Jaemin, but this was wrong, he realized. He was a married man that was committed to his husband. Not to mention he has a son waiting for him at home.
He built a family that he was scared to destroy.
He shook his head, hands finding it into Jeno's chest before he pushed the older man away, surprising Jeno who staggered a few steps back.
"I can't Jeno." Jaemin said, voice broken. He wiped away his tears, looking conflicted. "I can't love you. I am a married man. You," he pointed to him with his hand, "are in a committed relationship. We can't destroy someone we built just because of whatever this is!"
"What exactly is this, Jaemin?" Jeno asked him.
"This, this is imperfection. This is infidelity. "