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Stede can’t help but be surprised the first time Ed tries to take things further than just kissing.
It’s not that he isn’t open to the idea of having intercourse with Ed —of course he wants it — but he just doesn’t know how to act when it comes to that. He just doesn’t want Ed to find out that he's never done this before.
Ed figures it out in a matter of seconds and pulls away from Stede’s neck and just stares at him like an owl for a few moments.
Stede manages to say, “Why did you stop?” He just hopes that this is some other thing and not Ed realizing that he has absolutely no experience in bed.
“Have you done this before?” asks Ed as he gently runs his hand over Stede’s cheek. “Don’t want you doing anything you might regret later.”
Stede has to keep himself from chuckling nervously before he nods. “Yeah, I’ve done this before. And I’m sure about it.”
It just so happens that Ed can probably see right through his lies—Stede has never done this before.
Ed raises his eyebrows though, and just runs his hand under his shirt, all the way up to his chest, and lets it rest there. Stede doesn’t know what the purpose of that is besides flustering him, but he quickly realizes that Ed might be testing him.
He might be testing whether Stede is really ready for his love or whether
“I don’t want to take this away from you, Stede. I don’t want your first time to be with someone who you don’t love as much as you should.”
Stede has to keep himself from blurting the words right out there. It wouldn’t be right to say it in the spur of the moment, because it would feel rushed, and that’s the one thing he doesn’t want to do.
He just wants Ed to know that he feels it, even though Stede is not entirely sure that he’s ready to say it yet.
Stede wants Ed though, differently from how he’s ever wanted anyone else. He just wants all of Ed and he wants him without any other requirements, even though he understands why Ed wants Stede to confess before going any further.
So Stede goes ahead and kisses him. Carefully at first, as if he isn’t sure what he’s really doing, but then he lingers there, his lips against Ed’s, and Ed takes the bait. He pries Stede’s lips open and pushes his tongue inside his mouth.
Stede’s mouth is warm and inviting and within seconds Ed is all over him, kissing his cheeks, his neck, and desperately trying to reach his shoulders despite knowing that he’ll never be quite able to reach them without taking off his shirt.
“Take it off,” Stede mutters just to show him that he doesn’t really need to ask for anything. “You can take off the shirt, you can take off all of it.”
Ed helps him take off the shirt, but he stops there and doesn’t take off any other piece of clothing from him.
“Why are you stopping?” asks Stede, unsure and still hoping that Ed would just go ahead and finish what he started. He got him all hot and bothered and now he doesn’t seem to be delivering on anything, and he just needs him to.
He’s never done this before, but he knows that he needs it now and he needs it a lot more than he should.
“S’ just that I don’t want to do anything you’re gonna regret, okay? I don’t wanna fuck you up.”
Stede can tell that Ed cares about him and cares about not hurting him, but it feels almost like he’s being treated like a child and he very much does not enjoy that. He wants to be seen for who he is—a grown man who wants what he wants and who is willing to get what he wants.
And he thought that Ed would have no trouble understanding that, but it seems like a part of him cannot comprehend it, because he keeps trying to insist on the fact that Stede might not be ready, and Stede is ready. He’s ready, and he’s needy, and he’s everything else that Ed apparently doesn’t notice about him.
“Can you please just stop acting like that and do it? I want you, I’m ready for you, and I will never regret it.” Stede says those words with full seriousness as a playful expression appears on his mouth.
Ed seems more and more reassured by the second and it doesn’t take him long to realize that Stede is completely serious about what his words. His eyes linger on Stede’s a little longer as he gives him more time to possibly change his mind before Stede kisses him invitingly once more.
This time Ed takes the invitation—and not just partially like before, he takes it all the way.
He helps Stede out of all of his clothes and does the same for himself, and for a few moments all they do is stare at each other in their full glory, and Stede just wants to admire him a little longer, but he’s too impatient.
He just tells himself that he will have plenty of time to do that later, that he doesn’t need to feel like he’s going to miss anything.
Ed’s fingers find Stede’s skin and, for a while, they trace over Stede’s skin like it’s some sort of historical artifact and he needs to admire it. Then, as if the spell is suddenly broken, he runs his fingers lower and lower and wraps his hand around Stede’s cock.
It’s a sudden movement, and Stede suddenly can’t tell if he’s imagining all of this or if it truly is real. When Ed starts jerking him off excruciatingly slowly, he realizes that it is indeed real, and that the man he wants is right in front of him, ready to give him anything he needs.
Stede starts thrusting into Ed’s fists in hopes of finding more friction, of finding more ground for orgasm than just a touch from his partner.
“Stop being so eager,” Ed whispers in his ear and even though Stede can’t see his face, he can tell that there’s a big smile on it. “You’ll get there soon.”
Stede relaxes a little and lets Ed’s hands work their magic on him, as he quickly grows harder and harder in his hand.
“There you go,” Ed says encouragingly before adding, “See what good can happen if you’re just a little patient with me?”
Stede doesn’t know what to say besides that he’s enjoying when Ed is so caring and careful with him. At first, he was frustrated, he wanted more, but it’s different now. He understands why Ed treats him like it and he wants that attitude to remain the same, even though he still wants Ed to have sex with him.
Ed starts kissing his neck a little more seriously and then starts to move lower and lower, stopping only momentarily at Stede’s nipples in order to give them some attention too.
When he gets to Stede’s cock, he wraps his hand around it again and licks the tip without attention to detail, and looks up at Stede as if to ask him if everything is okay.
“Yes, yes, keep going, please,” is all Stede can manage to say and Ed doesn’t wait a moment longer.
He presses his tongue against the tip of his cock, then sucks on it firmly for a few moments before taking all of it in his mouth.
When Ed starts sucking his cock, Stede isn’t sure how to react. It feels amazing, but it feels so new, so unlike anything he’s ever experienced before, because to be completely honest, he really hasn’t experienced this before.
During that moment, all Stede can think is: this feels a lot better than my hand does.
Ed lets him push his entire cock in his mouth and then Stede just rests it there, reveling in the warmth of Ed’s mouth, and if it weren’t for that more insatiable part of him, he would want to stay there forever.
Ed pulls away though and then leans back up to kiss Stede. For a moment Stede is unsure whether he wants to kiss someone who just had his penis in his mouth, but when he sees the expression on Ed’s face, he just can’t resist it.
He kisses him, and just like all the times before, he feels like it’s the first time, and that he’s only learning how to properly love and touch Ed.
“I want you to tell me you’re ready. I don’t want to force you into anything, Stede, or even make you feel like you should want something that you don’t really want.”
At that moment Stede realizes that Ed wants to go further than that, that he wants to go all the way. Just having his cock inside Ed’s mouth was enough to blow his mind up, but Stede knows that he wants more. It’s almost like he needs more.
Ed pulls away and looks at him with something like a question in his eyes. He wants to know whether Stede wants it now, or later, or doesn’t want it at all, while Stede is just trying to savor everything that’s happening.
Ed caresses Stede’s arm gently and looks at him straight in the eyes. “Tell me, are you ready for this or not? D’you want this with me?”
Stede only thinks about it for a split second before nodding with determination. “I’m ready. And I wouldn’t want it with anyone but you.”
Ed takes some sort of liquid from next to the bed and applies it all over his now-hard cock and spills some extra onto his fingers. He gently spreads over Stede’s legs and runs his finger over his rim.
“If you ever want to stop, just tell me,” he mutters before starting to push one finger inside Stede.
He waits for a moment to see if Stede is doing alright, and then he pushes it inside him all the way, like there’s no more danger of anything, and quickly adds another finger. This one is a little more difficult to handle and Stede groans as his thighs shake momentarily.
It’s uncomfortable for a short while and Stede isn’t sure how to feel about it. He’s heard people talk about sex, and nobody really talks about the negative aspects of it, but there’s a certain feeling about it that he likes.
He feels so full when Ed is inside him, both physically and otherwise. He’s filled with Ed’s love, and he just wants to remain that way.
Ed seems to have a different plan in mind, though, as he tries to spread him open even further, just far enough so his cock could fit in it without stretching him too much.
Stede is impatient by the time Ed finally lines up his cock with his entrance. He can already tell that he’s going to feel sore the next day, but he doesn’t mind. He just wants to go all the way and experience everything other people seemingly experience on a daily basis. He wants what everyone has.
Ed can seemingly see that on his face because he doesn’t waste any more time. Instead, he just pushes inside Stede, and Stede feels himself being spread open once more—this time by Ed’s cock instead of his fingers.
When Ed pushes all the way inside him, he rests there, his chest firmly pressed about Stede’s and his head buried in Stede’s neck. They stay like that for some time, just reveling in each other’s presence like they’ve never felt it before and they never will. They are both just savoring the moment in hopes that this sort of thing will happen again.
Finally, Ed starts to pull away, then pushes his cock inside Stede again, this time with a little more force than before. He’s not rough or anything like that, he just can’t help himself and searches for the friction in Stede’s hole this time around.
As Ed does that, Stede lets out a loud moan that would wake anyone if they were sleeping in their proximity. In response to this, Ed gives him a snort and starts thrusting inside him repeatedly just in order to receive more of those from him. He needs to hear Stede make all those sounds, because then he’ll know that he’s doing something right if nothing else.
Stede grips at Ed’s back, trying to find some sort of grip that would make the experience any more bearable or maybe only take away the uncomfortable part while leaving him with the pleasure.
“Tell me if you want anything different.” Ed’s voice is reassuring enough to make Stede melt completely.
He isn’t sure when Ed turned from a brutish man to a creature that cares about bringing him maximal pleasure, but he has to say that he doesn’t regret that change. If anything, he feels sorry for himself for not having found out more about that part of him earlier.
“Everything is perfect,” Stede answers and then lets himself get lost in the repeated motion of Ed thrusting inside him.
Ed wraps his hand around Stede’s cock and begins jerking him off as he begins to thrust inside him a little quicker now. He doesn’t go too fast, and Stede suspects that it’s because Ed doesn’t want to overwhelm him. Even though a part of him wants Ed to go faster, he understands why that is and he even appreciates it more. After all, this lets him savor the moment just so he can relieve it later.
“I want you to know that you’re amazing,” Ed whispers in his ear and at that, Stede could just melt. It doesn’t matter that it’s a simple compliment, it’s more the fact that it’s coming from Ed, especially the fact that it’s coming from Ed as he’s inside him. “Couldn’t ask for anything more.”
Stede wants to tell him to stop saying that, that he doesn’t need to lie, but something about the expression in Ed’s eyes tells him that he meant every single word and that he had more to tell him.
In all honesty, Stede isn’t quite sure how to react to that. All his life people never said anything even remotely similar, but now he has Ed and he knows how to shower him with real compliments all the while helping him improve himself.
So Stede just doesn’t answer, because he doesn’t know how to. He just tells himself that he will somehow make up for the fact that he got so lucky and he will spend the rest of his life trying to thank Ed for giving him a chance.
Ed continues thrusting inside him with particular attention to hitting all the right spots inside Stede. Stede knows that it makes him happy to do that, so he lets him but he makes a promise to himself that he will do the same thing to Ed one day, no matter how far away that day might be.
Ed pulls his hand away from Stede’s cock and rests it on his chest instead, pressing him gently down against the mattress as his cock is pushed deep inside Stede every few seconds.
Stede starts to jerk himself off with his hand and finds a grip on Ed’s arm with his other hand, and at that moment he thinks that he has reached maximum euphoria and that nothing he will ever do will be able to match, let alone surpass this.
He starts to feel that familiar sensation start to build up inside him, the one that he usually starts feeling when his hand does the job, and he knows what’s coming. Stede doesn’t know how close Ed is to coming, but he hopes that they could do it at the same time because there could be something incredibly symbolic about that. It would just be nice to see that they’re both enjoying it an equal amount.
Ed is good at what he does, Stede now realizes, and a part of him almost feels jealous about all the people Ed got to practice on, but he knows that from now on, Ed will be able to practice with him, and he will be able to practice with Ed.
“You’re too far in your head, Stede. Just concentrate on us right now,” Ed tells him and Stede immediately takes his advice, instead focusing on the familiar curves of Ed’s face.
He wraps his legs and hands around Ed’s body and Ed takes that as an invitation to start going faster and faster, leaving Stede even more breathless with every thrust.
“I don’t know if I can hold myself back much longer,” Stede whimpers, and Ed just kisses his forehead which Stede takes as permission to come.
Stede’s vision blurs and he closes his eyes and digs his head in Ed’s chest, then releases all over his stomach. He wants to apologize for not being able to hold it back longer, for not making it possible for them to have their first orgasm together, but then Ed does the same thing, coming inside him with a series of loud groans followed by a series of almost aggressive thrusts before he collapses on top of Stede.
A small part of Stede wants to complain about being crushed under his weight, but another just wants to stay like that forever and thank him for letting him have one of the most mind-twisting experiences ever.
After a while, Ed rolls to the side and they both stare at the ceiling in silence. Stede knows that they both have many things to say but neither of them can really find a way to say them without ruining the aura that has built up around them.
“S’ this what you were expecting?” finally asks Ed as they both try to return their breathing back to normal.
Stede turns to him and kisses him gently. He doesn’t worry about being too straightforward this time around, and that seems to please Ed. “No, not at all. But I have to admit that I’m glad that it happened. And I think I wasn’t ready for you to be as good at this as you were.”
“You’re saying I fuck good?” Ed sounds incredibly proud of that but Stede just has to give it to him. The man is amazing at what he does, and Stede just hopes that he’ll be able to repeat this sometime soon.
“Perfect for my first time, I would say. You just made me incredibly tired, and I need a bit of a break before I’m ready for any sort of round two.”
Ed’s eyes light up with hope as Stede says that. “You want to go for a round two? Already?”
“I said I need to rest first, but of course I want to,” answers Stede slowly and he lets his hand slide under the sheets. As he touches Ed, he sees him light up with excitement a second time. “I don’t think there’s anything I want more.”
For a few moments they just stare at each other, both of them unsure of what to say and Stede has to admit that there haven’t been a lot of occasions where he’s been left completely speechless like this.
But this is different, he’s with someone he cares about very deeply and someone he wants to stay with for a while. Still, he needs his rest and he wants Ed to understand that.
“Rest and then we’ll continue with this, okay?”
With that, Stede turns to his side and looks away from Ed. He closes his eyes and then feels a hand wrap around him, gentle, yet heavy and comforting. It’s like receiving a hug from sort of fantastical creature that knows exactly how to touch him and how to please him.
“I hope you won’t turn out to regret this,” Ed says after a while and Stede can somehow feel that he’s saying it with his whole heart.
Stede shakes his head without hesitation because he could never regret it. Not after the amazing time he’s just had and the amazing times he was sure they would have in the future. “No, I would never.”