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A chill went down his back. Only one person would call him from the school like this. He wanted to run. Anywhere, far far away. Past the secretary that called him up to the office and somewhere where his family couldn’t hurt him. Unfortunately, he was too slow. The phone was shoved at him as soon as he got there.
“Killu,” Illumi’’s voice was crackly and not there. Not with Killua. But he couldn’t help the full-body flinch he did before he was frozen in place. A frigid trickle of dread trailed down his spine.
Illumi’s voice spoke up again, “Killu? This is you right? I didn’t get the wrong school? Ah, Okaa-san would be so mad if I-”
“It’s me,” Killua croaks, he swallows, “It’s… Killua,” He struggles to get a hold of his breathing. It suddenly felt like such an unnatural motion.
“Ah good. Hello Killu. How are you?” Illumi asks. If Killua had to deal with his shit, he wants to get it over with quickly.
“Quit it with the pleasantries, what do you want?” Killua tries to push some sort of emotion other than fear and dread into his voice and it comes out a bit defensive. Fuck. Killua glances at the secretary who was now risking glances at him.
Illumi tutted, “You’re not in the position to be making demands, Killu,” He paused for a moment, “But I will make this a bit faster for the both of us,” Killua held his breath.
“The upcoming gala will be including many prominent figures from the drug trafficking in the Northern part of the country. It so happens that we got a job for someone attending. Your size and age is specifically required to execute the job efficiently,”
An assassination . Killua hasn’t needed to do that in years, they hadn’t needed him to. Killua’s head spins. He really doesn’t want to do that.
“But they said they didn’t need me for that again! Mom said I didn’t have to do it anymore-” Killua couldn’t do it. Not anymore. Now he has things to lose. Things so precious Killua doesn’t know what he’d do without them.
“-Don’t raise your voice,” Illumi’s command made Killua’s jaw snap shut. “You will do this Killu. It’s for the family. In the long run, it will help you too,”
Killua grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes closed. He didn’t want to see the secretary staring at him from his outburst. “You can’t make me,” He gritted out. His hand was starting to hurt from how hard he was gripping the shitty plastic receiver.
“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure of that Killu,” With those few words, Killua’s heart dropped. He snapped his eyes and straightened his back.
“What do you mean?” He almost whispered.
“You’ve been spending more time with that boy right? What was his name?” The world’s axis shifts, ” Gon? ”
They know.
Killua doesn’t respond so Illumi continues, “Ah! Gon Freecs. Yes, that’s his name. He seems like a kind boy. Just the other day on his way home, he played with those kids at the park near your school, right? Well, you would know, you were there after all,” When was someone following him? Has Killua been letting his guard down that much?
This is bad.
Illumi charges on, not waiting for Killua to respond, “He lives in that house next to that bakery you frequent with him right? Have you ever noticed how the windows’ locks are worn down? A single good pull could open it easily. It makes me question his safety,”
Killua feels like a trapdoor snatched open beneath his feet and his body is free falling into the abyss. He wants to throw up.
“Have you noticed? I’m threatening you. Just in case you haven’t. Ah, but you probably have. You’re panicking aren’t you, Killu? Did you think you could have friends? You’ve made one and now you’re already putting him in danger. Do you think it’s wise to deny what Okaa-san wants? It’s best just to stop playing school and continue your training...”
Illumi kept talking but Killua could barely register those words. Something snapped. Confidence he never had while talking to his older brother suddenly erupted and spread like thick cracks in concrete.
He closed his eyes and took a sharp breath in.
“ Don’t you FUCKING dare! Don’t you DARE touch him! ” Killua was yelling into the receiver at this point. He didn’t care about the scene he was making, “ And don’t go anywhere near him! FUCK OFF FOR ONCE!” He threw the phone at the table. Making it clatter against other office supplies before hanging off the edge of the desk by the cord.
...
“Killu?” Illumi heard something crashing before the line went dead and he stared at his phone for a moment.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” Illumi peered at the darkening clouds in the sky as small drops began to fall.
...
Killua was shaking. He couldn’t feel his body. Adrenaline crept into his veins as more panic sank in. A hand was being reached out to him. Red painted nails and long effeminate fingers. It was just the secretary. He knew that. But in that moment, Killua could only see the painted lips of his mother.
“Killu~!”
“ Get away from me! ” Killua’s voice sounded far away and quiet but his throat felt like he had screamed. Noise blurred like kids poured milk cartons into a puddle. He batted the hand away and turned on his heel and ran. He ran out into the hall passing teachers and students, ignoring the screams and shouts, and he ran until he finally ran past the exit.
He ran. Killua ran because they knew . They knew about Gon. He’d put Gon in danger by being selfish. He knew he couldn’t make friends. He knew he didn’t have the right to. When he first made the deal to go to a public school, he’d just wanted to know what it was like. For once to just see the world above ground and not the dark cold alleyways of the mansion. He just wanted to see. And he got more than he ever thought he would.
Gon was amazing. He was Killua’s first experience talking to someone normal . Someone his age . A kid that wasn’t an empty sorrowful trophy for some prominent underground figure to show off. Despite Gon being the first for Killua to interact with, Killua made the revelation that Gon was different than the rest…
…But in the end, Gon was only human. He was only another person Killua put in danger.
Killua had gone against all the rules he’d set for himself and had slipped and fallen unprepared into the raging ocean that was Gon Freecs.
Killua ran and ran and ran and ran. It left like hours had gone by but he’d believe it if it had only been a few seconds. His legs ached. His lungs hurt. He wanted to slow down. He wanted to keep running. He wanted to leave everything behind. For just a moment, escape to someplace he didn’t need to worry about being hurt. Worry about hurting others. Worry about people he cares about being hurt because of him-
“ KILLUA! ” And just like that, Killua snaps out it and immediately whips around. He realizes with a shock that it’s been raining, and not just gently. It’s been pouring down, pelting him this whole time. He’s soaked to the bone. Not to mention, he’s on the pathway from where he and Gon like to run into the woods.
He focuses on the figure running towards him. It's Gon. Gon’s at the end of the path. Killua feels his heart ache just looking at him.
“What are you doing here?!” Killua feels his heart beating rapidly in his chest, his previous conversation with Illumi forgotten. What is Gon doing out here in the harsh rain? Did he come here just for..?
“WHAT??? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Gon’s cupping his hands around his mouth as he yells this. The idiot has his transparent plastic backpack with him. Aunt Mito was smart to get him that ever since he kept staying outside in the rain with his old backpack. When it rained after school, Gon would go running into the rain splashing around while Killua chased him trying to get him under an umbrella. By the time they got to Gon’s house, Gon’s homework inside his bag would be soggy and he’d be covered in mud. Killua’s had to hose him down more than once.
“Jesus Christ-,” Killua cupped his hands just like Gon and yelled over the rain and their distance, “-GON GET OVER HERE!”
He could tell that Gon heard him by the way he grinned and started running towards him. He got to a couple of feet in front of Killua and he still wasn’t slowing down. Killua’s eyes widened. Oh no. He didn’t have enough time to brace himself and-
“ACK!” Gon collided with Killua, knocking them both down to the muddied road. Gon was still squeezing the living daylights out of him. Killua swore he heard a smack when their wet uniforms slapped together.
Killua could make out a faint frantic beeping but pushed that aside for now. He moved Gon away so that he could see his face. “What the hell’s wrong with you?! We’re all muddy now!”
“Well, we would have to shower anyway!” Gon’s starting to pout. This boy-!
“Ugh, fine!” Then what’re you doing here?” They were sitting on the dirt path now. Gon, still somewhat on Killua’s lap. Killua tried to keep the heat on his face down. Luckily, the cold rain still pummeling down helped.
“For you of course!” Gon swings his plastic backpack around his body and shoves it between the two of them. Suddenly, the beeping noise from earlier makes an appearance. Gon points at the screen of their phone (it’s Gon’s but they both equally use it) stashed safely behind the plastic. There’s a notification flashing in front of it. “Tornado warning,” Gon says, somehow nonchalantly.
Sure enough, a loud booming noise of thunder comes down.
...
“You idiot! Why’d you come out here during a tornado?! ” They were trying to find somewhere safe as this storm looked like it was mostly lighting. The sound of thunder boomed just a few seconds after you could see it flash in the air. Meaning that it wasn’t hitting too far from here. The rain was still going down hard.
“I already told you~! I came here looking for you! ” Gon whines and Killua feels his heart skip a beat. That was weird. But Killua still pulls him along through the woods. They’re going through the shortcut they found in the woods years ago. “And you’re the one who went out in the first place! That’s my job!”
“What do you mean ‘my job’ ?!” Killua was about to yell at him some more about being an adrenaline-crazy idiot (he’s the same but won’t admit it) but Gon pulls on their held hands so that they’ve stopped walking and Killua’s facing him.
Gon puts a hand on his chest, “It’s my job to do crazy stuff,” Then he motions to Killua, “Your job is to stay cool and stop me,”
Killua stares blankly at Gon and he feels rain drip down his face and hair. He probably looked like a wet dog. “You’re an idiot,” Gon only met his gaze with a broad smile that made Killua dizzy and-
-And it was there. That exact moment when Killua realized.
Gon had stepped into his life and washed everything upside down in a storm. He had stepped into Killua’s life and showed him his world. Gon showed Killua how he perceived everything from the greatest ocean waves to the smallest critters they encountered. Gon showed him how to enjoy life. Every time they ran over hills and mountains, trees and grass, sand and wood. He’s made Killua happier than the fourteen years he's spent rotting on this pathetic excuse of a world.
Gon’s amazing. Who the hell does he think he is? Making someone’s life become worth something by simply showing how he sees the world? It’s unbelievable that he’s the same species as Killua- Hell, it's unbelievable that someone like Gon even exists! Gon was different from everything else in this world. Gon was light . Him. Killua’s best friend . Gon .
Gon, smiling something so sweet it feels like the weight on Killua’s shoulders has been lifted, motions for him to keep walking. Killua surprises himself by following him right away. But who could blame him?
Gon’s taught him to enjoy the world. To enjoy his life. To find a meaning to what he used to think was just nothingness. And at that moment, Killua realizes, Gon taught him to love. Killua’s learned to love the things around him for a change. And it so happens one of those things is now Gon.
That realization comes with many things. Good things. Bad things. But of all the things Killua realizes in that split second moment, is that he can’t let Gon be hurt. He refuses to let something as stupid as his family take Gon away.
Killua tightens his hold on Gon’s hand and steps forward to walk side by side with him. Does he deserve to keep walking with Gon? Does he deserve to walk with someone so amazing? That was one of the things that came along with his realization. And its become one of the many things Killua doesn’t know the answer to. But for as long as Killua’s family threatens to hurt something Killua loves, he’ll follow. He’ll follow for as long Gon will have him. Whether that be until tomorrow or until time and space collapses on itself, Killua will protect Gon, even if it means facing his family.