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It was a fine day in da Moominhood. NINJA FORTNITE DANCE 2 EPIC VICTORY ROYALE SCORED BY (your)M(other)OOMIN. He took another sip out of the gallon of G-fuel that he had by his side, next to all the cum socks accumulated since his unfortunate birth. He promptly pissed himself on the spot from the sheer amounts of G-fuel he had consumed during the course of the day. The piss leaked onto one of his favorite cum socks, prompting moomin to yell out a loud “FUCK” as he broke multiple bones trying to pick up the piss-filled cum sock. Snufkin was about to come over soon and he wasn’t in the best shape to smoke a lil bit of weed. He got out of his pewdiepie gaming chair and paced around the room, his feet crunching the cum socks under him.
“Oh FUCK that’s not very based and redpilled of me oh fucking goddamnit, oh fuck me back”.Moomin then went into cardiac arrest from the sheer physical exhaustion.
Moomin woke up fucking shitfaced. It was 2 days since he went into cardiac arrest and Snufkin was just sitting there like a dumbass smoking weed and counting up the bills he got from selling crack,cocaine, and probably his feet pics.
“Snufkinwhat the r/FUCK are you doing just SITTING there. God. thats so fucking r/gay r/retarded.” moomin cried out in joy and wonder.
Snufkin didn’t listen however because he was zooted as fuck and was probably meeting Karl Jung his reality shifting headspace. Moomin grew increasingly irritated by his behavior, as he was self diagnosed with severe BPD,which professionals liked to refer to as “attention whore”.
“God I have GOT to touch some grass.” Moomin moaned. “See you later snufkin.”
Snufkin cummed in acknowledgement, still wondering if birds worked for the government. Moomin got up from his cum sock-filled ground, breaking 3 bones in the process to go downstairs, only to see his arch-nemesis, the real, Medium-sized My staring into his dead soul.
“Ugh, Konnichiwa,” greeted Little My, wearing her Nirvana shirt inside out as a fashion statement.
“Why are you wearing your Nirvana shirt inside-out?” asked moomin, not quite understanding post- modernism nihilist behavior, as unlike Little My, he was not fatherless.
“It’s a FUCKING fashion statement, retarded baka,” berated Little My, mimicking what she heard, or thought she heard from Naruto in the english dubs.
“The only statement I see from your fashion is please father come back home for real,” Moomin remarked with full honesty.
“,,,” Little My did not expect that witty comeback at all. She kicked him in the moominnuts and went back to the My Hideout, fuming and lustful for some monster energy drink to refill all the energy she wasted from conversing with Moomintroll.
Moomin stepped outside the house for the first time in 10 years and was swiftly hit with the fresh breeze, causing his lungs to collapse and several more bones to break. He couldn't believe his eyes. Grass. Actual green grass and not like the ones in fortnite. With real physics and not glitchy. He quickly decided that he needed to go to Snork’’s house immediately. The fresh air wasn’t something he was used to, all he’d smelled in the past 10 years in his attic was snufkin’s weed smoke, cum, and spilled G-fuel. How to make lean easy wikihow.com
“Doguwapogipiyazoomida(무궁화 꽃이 피었습니다)” Muskeerat chanted idyllically in his stinky hammock.
“Muskeerat what the fuck are you talking about,” Moomin squinted his eyes disbelievingly.
“UGH, it’s a reference to the popular game show, Squid Games,”
“Isn’t that a bts song??”
“Kid is you retarded or sumth,”
“Yes!” Moomin bursted in glee and admonishment, wondering how this hobo looking ass knew his little secret.
“Oh scram you little rascal! Shoo!” Muskeerat’s eyes suddenly fixed on his tabloid screen as a familiar sound” Nu nu, Nu nu, Nu DNA” played. Moomin recognized this as the popular song DNA(Snorkmaiden’s playlist). “MAMA’s on! OMG Jungkook oppar!”
“Shaking my head,’ “i cant believe Muskerrat is a JK stan.”
Snufkin was probably getting really high off various drug substances including but not limited to adderall, meth, marijuna, and tobbacco, as he likeds to call it, the four horsemen of unresolved sexual tension. He didn’t know how he got here but some one was playing “chug jug with you(slowed+reverb)” in the distance, and it was at that exact moment he realized moomin was definitely there, with his light up sketchers and obese form(of some sort, snufkin still hadn’t figured out what kind of creature his friend is). Relieved, he took a piss near the moomincrib fence, letting out a homoerotic, prolonged sigh as the piss hits the ground.
“SNUFKIN!!!!!” the retarded moomintroll shouted, his feet wobbling from all the fat he accumulated during his gamer years.
Shit, snufkin thought, realizing that he was attending nature’s call on the wrong patch of grass, which unfortunately, turned out to be his own secret weed farm. Eh, he shrugged his shoulders, he could have labeled them as marinated mairjuana and they would sell just fine.
“Hellooo Moomintroooooll,” drawled snufkin lazily, evidently hungover and accidentally popping a boner. “You got yourself a new shirt?”
“SNUFKIN!!!” moomintroll repeated himself.
“Yes I know, my name, haha,” Snufkin was quite honestly used to Moomintroll’s condition, which is severe autism. Although not professionally diagnosed due to moominparent's skepticism on modern medicine, Moomintroll himself had proven himself to be quite the surprise at a very young age, albeit not being a very good one: surprise, that is. The young Moomin had a fervent obsession with a certain blue hedgehog who happened to run very fast since birth, and had reportedly played all of the games featuring said hedgehog in them at least twice as a tribute to please his beloved. Snufkin had since suspected the reason: slow beings are often attracted to fast creatures. With moomintroll suffering from autism and obesity, he could not have ran very fast.