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I found "Hesitation Waltz" to be a particularly interesting and appealing story, both in its own terms and because it was made into a podfic by Rhea314. For this reason, my review will cover both story and podfic.
Cranialaccessory's story includes many of my favourite tropes: fake marriage, period-typical homophobia, and slow burn colleague-to-lovers. It is also a plotty story, it's got Klaus and Dorian's voices down pat, and it includes very well-drawn original characters. What's not to like?
The story opens with Chief Twitterswell sending Klaus on a mission to infiltrate an enemy spy ring headed by a Countess McKinnon. The only way to do so is to gain her confidence, which involves Klaus pretending to be Dorian's husband. Klaus is dismayed, but the mission is paramount.
The Chief smiled, and Klaus felt his suspicion snap into sudden, freezing terror as the Chief tossed something across the table. Klaus caught it without a fumble. It was a small black box, the likes of which Klaus had only ever seen contain one thing. He flipped it open.
“Sir. You must be joking,” Klaus said, as he pulled a simple gold wedding band from the box.
“I’m afraid not.” The Chief leaned back in his chair. “Congratulations, you’re getting married.”
Unlike Klaus, Dorian is delighted; after minimal gloating on his part, off they go to join the Countess and other jet-set guests on the exclusive party she's offering on her island.
“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way,” Dorian said, “but I’ve been preparing for this role my entire life. You, on the other hand, seem far less capable of convincing anyone that you’re in love with anyone, much less me.”
The story is full of funny, witty exchanges; the dialogue is excellent, and so is the plot. Dorian and Klaus are portrayed as competent, strong adults: there's no space for sentimentality. They spar verbally, ponder their relationship, and investigate the spy ring. How will they find out the Countess's plans? Who is she working for, and who are her accomplices? Dorian displays all his charm, and acts the devoted husband part beautifully. The readers get to enjoy the fake marriage trope. Klaus grits his teeth a lot.
“Allow me to reassure you, Klaus and I are equals in a vast variety of ways,” Dorian said. Klaus grimaced - it was hard not to be offended, even on behalf of his fake cover.
The act garners Dorian and Klaus a fair amount of period-typical homophobia. From Eroica with Love is set in the 1970s/1980s, and features a great deal of casual prejudice and misconceptions. It's worth remembering that in the UK male homosexuality was legalised in 1967, and only if both parties were over 21. According to Aoike-sensei, Dorian was born between 1956 and 1958: he spent his childhood at a time when being gay was illegal, which must have played an important role in shaping his personality and actions. (West Germany legalised homosexuality in 1969, and until 1990 being gay in the military was considered a security risk, and it made a career as an officer impossible; which explains a few things about Klaus, too.)
It goes without saying that homophobia is a terrible state of affairs in real life; but narrative is not real life, and period-typical homophobia is a very effective fictional trope if one's aiming for angst. It is also inevitable, if a writer wants to represent the Eroica setting realistically: it's difficult to ignore the fact that Klaus is canonically and notoriously homophobic. Cranialaccessory makes period-typical homophobia a central plot point and pivotal to Klaus's character development. The shoe is on the other foot—and it pinches.
[One of the guests] chuckled as though Klaus had said something remarkably droll. “I would’ve expected the sight of such muscular young men might enhance the experience for you.”
Klaus stiffened - he had forgotten that being gay would mean liking men aside from Lord Gloria. If he had been married to a woman, it would’ve been normal, if romantic, to refrain from looking at other women. From everything he'd heard, it was unlikely that gay men shared that compunction. He wasn't sure what to make of the other man’s tone, either - was it mocking, or flirtatious? Both prospects were horrifying.
Klaus's and Dorian's investigation involves interacting with a variety of people. The original characters are rendered realistically and they have a good range of personality and opinions. Dorian's former school-mate William is a homophobic dick, which makes Klaus rethink a few things.
They walked past a security guard, and Klaus scowled at him. "The nerve of him, implying that just because I'm a homosexual, that I'm sort of, I don't know, man-whore."
Dorian jerked to a stop in front of a large painting of some past person in a silly hat. "Klaus, you know you say worse things than that about me on a daily basis."
"Well, yes," Klaus said, defensive. "But that's different."
"How is this possibly different?" Dorian said, waving his arm. "Because it's happening to you instead of me?"
"No," Klaus said, trying not to sound sullen. "Because we have a long-standing relationship, and with us it's... banter."
Dorian raised a pair of well-maintained and skeptical eyebrows. “You don’t seriously believe that.”
“Just because I’m being insulting, doesn’t mean that I’m - ugh, you know what I mean.” Klaus said. “My point is, it’s different.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
Dorian's friend and confidante Lucy helps Klaus—and Dorian—get a clue. She points out that both of them have been doing it wrong, to Dorian's dismay.
"He hates when you do that, you know," Lucy said.
[…] "Every time you make a sex joke, or some kind of innuendo, he tenses up," Lucy said. There was a snapping noise, like breaking a tree branch. "You must've noticed."
[…] “You don’t know what Klaus is like,” Dorian said. “He’s not very interested in emotions. Mine, his own, anyone else’s.”
[…] “Why should I open up to him, if I know he’s just going to throw it back in my face?” Dorian asked. There was a pregnant pause, full of woodland sounds, before Dorian added, in a rush: “Not that he doesn’t care about me, of course, I know that.”
“Dorian,” Lucy said, sympathetically. “You’re a very sensitive person.”
[…] “It’s not an insult, honestly,” Lucy said. “It just means that you’ve developed ways to protect yourself.”
Our Heroes gradually learn about the Countess's spying activities, and about themselves. Klaus defends Dorian's honour against William's homophobia, and Dorian changes the way he goes about wooing Klaus.
"Sure, but it isn't only that. They're cruel, and insipid. And wrong, a lot of the time." Klaus said. "I mean, even I know more about you."
"Klaus, they don't behave any worse to me than the rest of the world does," Dorian said. "You're playacting at being a gay man, but I have to live with it, every day. You get a thick skin." He shrugged.
I found the character development to be excellent, providing a slow-burn colleague-to-lovers scenario, and neatly weaving itself into the plot vicissitudes. Suspicion falls on Henry, the Countess's partner. Is he in cahoots with her, or just a besotted dupe? And what is the Countess doing in the woods at night? Klaus and Dorian spy her meeting with the KGB. Unfortunately, they are discovered, but Dorian saves the day (night): he grabs Klaus and kisses him. The Countess's henchmen are fooled into thinking Our Heroes are having a romantic tryst, and they are off the hook.
“Run,” Klaus hissed, and took a step in the guard’s direction. There was no way to hide. He could lead the guard off, maybe even take him one-on-one. If not, Dorian could get away, send for backup.
Dorian reached out and grabbed Klaus’s arm. “Absolutely not.”
Klaus whirled towards him in exasperation, ready to tear away, and instead Dorian was reaching out to him, drawing him close. “I’m sorry,” Dorian said, pulling off his hat, and Klaus knew exactly what was going to happen.
Sadly, it turns out that they aren't as off the hook as they thought: the story's denouement involves a shootout, Dorian and Klaus being taken prisoner, a brush with death, and Dorian managing to extort Klaus the waltz he'd been promised at the end of Emperor Waltz.
In the middle of bedlam, Klaus tells Dorian he'd like having a real relationship—followed by some angsty equivocation on where Dorian's loyalties lie.
Klaus stepped over the prone guard’s body. “What’s wrong? You couldn’t even wait until the mission was over to get into someone else’s pants, that’s what’s wrong.”
Dorian froze. He looked like he was bracing himself for impact. Klaus turned away. It wasn’t like one kiss would change years of who they both had been. He should’ve known better than to expect anything else from the Earl. He shouldn’t even be angry, it was just another sign of his own weakness.
“Did you need intel from him, or was he that irresistible?”
“That’s not what happened, Klaus,” Dorian said.
The angst resolves itself by the end; after a host of vicissitudes, it all ends well with a happily ever after.
To sum up, "Hesitation Waltz" is light-hearted and yet romantic and angsty; the characterisation and the plot are excellent and the story is very well-written. I often return to it for a solid, well-written comfort read. And sometimes I return to it by listening to Rhea314's podfic. Rhea314's work is outstanding. Klaus and Dorian's voices are rendered well, the reading is clear, expressive and well-paced, and the sound quality is impeccable. At two hours and seventeen the podfic's just perfect for a drive, housework, or (proper) cooking. Or you can just sit back and give it your full attention. Rhea314's work makes me wish for more Eroica podfics—there's some, but it's simply not enough!