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Jisung hugged him tight.
It didn’t feel real. Nothing felt real that entire day. From the moment Minho woke up, everything had been weird, like he was in a trance. He had made him and Jisung breakfast, he had put food for his cats, he had taken a shower and he had helped Jisung with his suitcase, but he could hardly remember doing any of it. As if he was a robot, his body worked perfectly, but his mind refused to think too deeply about anything, making his day seem like a blur.
The moment he stepped inside the airport it got even worse, he could barely think or hear anything over the annoying buzz inside his head. Still his arms mechanically wrapped themselves around Jisung and started stroking the younger’s back the way he usually did when Jisung needed comfort. He didn’t have to think to do it, so he didn’t, eyes lost in the family running to get to a departure gate some meters ahead of them.
Jisung’s shoulders shook with a sob and Minho vaguely registered the wetness on his shirt where the younger’s head was buried. A little kid carrying a huge stuffed elephant passed in front of him.
Maybe he whispered something like “It’s ok”, but he isn’t sure.
“I’m s-sorry,” Jisung mumbled after he stepped back, round cheeks wet from the tears that just kept pouring even when he was desperately trying to wipe them with his hands.
“Jesus, why am I like this?” He sighed dejectedly, “I’m s-so sorry, Minho. I didn’t m-mean to get this emotional. Your shirt… Fuck, I’m r-really sorry,” Jisung sobbed again, hiding his face in his hands.
"It's ok,” Minho repeated. Or he hoped he did, his voice sounded strange to his own ears. Emotionless, empty.
Jisung took a big breath and looked into Minho’s eyes, “I just- I’m gonna miss you.”
Minho nodded, incapable of saying anything through the lump in his throat. He was looking at Jisung’s face, but he was seeing through the younger, eyes unfocused and cold. His whole face was equally unexpressive. He felt like an empty shell, only able to function thanks to muscle memory.
The last call for Jisung’s flight must have rang because suddenly the younger startled and held his suitcase tighter.
“I have to go now,” he mumbled, more tears flowing from his eyes, “I- uh, g-goodbye, M-minho. Gonna s-send you a m-message when I arrive.”
Minho just nodded again and watched Jisung start walking to his gate, the younger’s body shaking with more sobs. Minho loved how Jisung’s emotions would always show so easily on his face, sometimes they bursted in the form of tears, sometimes it was through happy laughs or just a simple smile and a glow in his warm brown eyes. He just never held anything back.
But now he was leaving.
Jisung turned one last time and waved with a sad smile on his lips. Minho might have made a poor attempt to copy him before the younger disappeared into the other room, out of Minho’s sight.
Out of Minho’s life.
Minho walked all the way back to his car, passing through all kinds of people with baggages and neck pillows. He drove straight back to his apartment, eyes focused on the road. He greeted his cats after locking the door. He made himself some instant ramen and ate it alone. After he cleaned the dishes he made his way to his room, planning to buy some new toys for Sooni and Doongi on the internet. The old ones were fine but he desperately needed something to do (so he wouldn't be thinking of a certain someone) and why not spoil his babies a little bit, right?
On his way, though, Minho stepped on something right next to his bed. He bent down and grabbed the guitar pick. It was black and had a wonky drawing of a face in white marker. Jereumi, Minho’s character that he himself had drawn because he thought Jisung’s pick was way too boring. The younger had laughed warmly and later he declared it his lucky pick, carrying it everywhere he went.
A drop fell right over Jereumi’s face.
♡
Jisung hugged him tight.
“I missed you so much!”
Jisung’s luggage was behind him. His hair was a mess after sleeping for so long in the uncomfortable airplane seat. He was desperately in need of a proper rest and probably a shower too but he was so happy to be back that he couldn’t care less at that moment.
“Missed you too, Sungie,” Chan replied with a big smile on his face, all dimples, “I’m so glad you came!”
“I could never lose your big day! How is Hyunjin, by the way?”
“Oh, you know him. He’s so excited, it’s the only thing he's talked about in weeks,” Chan’s eyes shined with so much fondness that Jisung couldn’t help but smile.
His friend was so in love, Jisung was happy for him. (And maybe just a little jealous. He wished he had a special someone too, someone to share a life with.)
“Let me help with that,” Chan offered, taking one of Jisung’s baggages.
“Thank you,” Jisung said as they started walking to the parking lot, “You really didn’t have to come get me, Channie. You already have so much to worry about with your marriage. I could’ve just taken a taxi.”
“I told you it’s no trouble at all. Felix asked me to help prepare the dinner anyway, I’ll just arrive there a little earlier. Besides, it’s much better when you have someone to fetch you in the airport, isn’t it?”
Jisung nodded, beaming, “Thanks, man.”
The ride to Felix and Changbin’s house was silent except for the soft music Chan put on the radio. Jisung was so tired he almost fell asleep, head leaning against the window. However, right when he was about to dive into dreamland Chan announced their arrival.
As soon as he stepped inside his friends’ house Jisung was welcomed by a very excited Felix, who jumped into his arms. Changbin didn’t make as much of a fuzz but he almost broke Jisung’s spine with how hard he squeezed him when they hugged.
Jisung was delighted to see them but also really fucking tired after his travel, so, after he greeted them briefly and took his bags to the room Changbin said would be his for the next few days, he decided to take a shower and then get into bed for a quick nap. His head only touched the pillow and he was immediately falling asleep from exhaustion.
“Where is he?”
Jisung frowned slightly on his dream.
“ Jisuuuuung!!!! ” The scream was muffled by the wall, but it was still too loud “I brought you cheesecake!!!!”
Jisung blinked and slowly opened his eyes. Did he hear cheesecake?
“Shhh! Baby, he’s sleeping,” it was Chan’s voice, “He was really tired from the trip. Let him rest.”
“Oh,” the pouting on the voice, which could only belong to Hyunjin, could be heard even from his room, “I’m sorry. Didn’t know he was asleep.”
Jisung lazily sat on his bed, stretching. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and checked the time. He had slept for a total of one hour and a half but it was an invigorating nap. Now he felt ready to catch up with his beloved friends. It's been too long since he last chitchated with them, he missed it. Besides, how could he sleep when there was a promise of cheesecake in the other room?
Jisung changed into some comfy clothes and tried to make his hair look presentable using only his fingers. It probably didn’t work, but he decided it would be enough for now and made his way to the living room.
“Hyun, you’re so noisy!” He complained out loud, making the conversation in the room stop and everyone’s heads spin to look at him.
Hyunjins eyes bugged the moment they laid on Jisung’s figure standing by the door and he jumped out of the couch, running to him like a lightning bolt, “JISUUUUUUNG!!!”
Jisung laughed, unable to keep the annoyance on his face.
They started jumping together and laughing out of joy. Clearly, Hyunjin wasn’t the only one who was noisy, much to the neighbors' distress.
“I missed you so much!”
“I missed you two! And I heard you bought cheesecake!”
“Oh, so that’s it,” Hyunjin stepped back, a hand dramatically going to his chest, “You don’t really love me, it’s all because of cheesecake!”
“Of course I love you!” Jisung defended himself, making sure to look offended by the accusation, “Just not as much as cheesecake.”
He earned himself a slap for the bad joke but it was worth it given that it made Hyun laugh. Not that it was a big accomplishment, Hyunjin laughed at pretty much anything . Still, Jisung was always delighted to hear that dumb sound – plus, it boosted his ego.
After Hyunjin and Jisung’s commotion died down a little, the five of them sat to eat while they caught up with each other’s life. Chan and Hyun talked about their plans for the wedding, which would be in two weeks. Felix shared the new recipe he was thinking of adding to his bakery. Changbin told them about his experience working with two of the biggest rappers from Thailand. And Jisung had to give every little detail about his life abroad thanks to a very demanding Hyunjin.
Later, Changbin, Chan and Jisung also discussed their plans of working together. It was an old dream of theirs, something they spent hours imagining during incontable nights back when they had a small underground group of rap. Life had other plans for them though, as amazing opportunities popped up for all of them in distinct ways, making them go into different paths. Only a couple of months ago Chan brought back that old dream and sparked hope in their hearts again, so Jisung’s trip was not only because of the wedding but also to start preparing to move back definitively and to sign the contract with Chan’s company.
“So, can we go sign the papers tomorrow after lunch?” He asked.
“I’m free.” Changbin nodded.
“Hmm, could it be the day after?” Chan asks, apologetically, “Tomorrow I already have plans with Minho.”
Just hearing the name was enough to send a shiver down Jisung’s spine. He had almost forgotten that in just a few days he would come face to face with his ex whom he hadn’t spoken to in the past four years.
Not that it was a big thing.
It’s been so long; he was totally over him.
“Oh yeah,” Changbin snapped his fingers, “you two were working on a project together, right? I think you mentioned it.”
“Yeah, for that big dance competition he will have at the end of the year.”
“By the way,” Hyunjin chipped in, “can I join you guys for lunch tomorrow? I wanna check if Minho and Minhuyk need any help with their suits. Last time we talked Minhyuk was insisting they needed new ones to match. Minho didn’t look particularly excited about it, but I’ve found some good stores with very reasonable prices that might solve their problem.”
“Of course you can join, babe!” Chan smiled.
“Minhyuk?” Jisung asked although he knew pretty well who that was the same way he also knew that Minho was working for a big dance studio and that he had a new cat, Dori, which had the cutest white paws.
It’s not like Jisung was a stalker or something, they just happened to have friends in common and one day Chan posted a picture of himself with Hyun, Minho and another guy in a restaurant with the captions ‘on a double date with Minho and Minhyuk’. So yeah, he got curious and gave a quick check to his ex and his ex’s new boyfriend accounts, sue him.
“Oh, it’s, uh, It’s Minho’s… boyfriend”, Hyunjin couldn’t look at Jisung’s eyes as he explained, “They've been together for a while now.”
Jisung regretted having asked. He wanted to sound natural and satisfy his curiosity about what kind of man had stolen Minho’s heart. What he didn’t want was for his friends to act like they needed to be cautious about something that he had already gotten over long ago.
“C'mon Hyun, you don’t have to say it like that! We broke up four years ago, it’s fine! More than fine, actually! It’s great! I’m happy for him even,” Jisung assured him. Maybe just a little too eagerly?
Was he too eager? He hopes not because, why would he be?
“So, is this Minhyuk guy nice? ” He asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
His friends still eyed him a little suspiciously, but luckily they didn’t make any comment on it.
“Yeah, he’s pretty nice.” Changbin shrugged.
“I think you'll like him. He’s a very easygoing guy.” Chan gave a small reassuring smile.
“He’s also very hot,” Felix added. All the eyes in the room turned to him, startled by the statement made so plainly, “What? It's true!”
(It really was, Jisung has seen it on his Instagram. The guy was built.
And if Jisung doubled his time in the gym after that, no one needed to know.)
“Oh well, that's nice, I guess.” Jisung smiled to show he was a mature man who could be happy for his ex finding a new lover.
“Honestly,” Changbin crossed his arms over his chest, ”I still don't understand why you and Minho broke up in the first place. You were so in love, you two could totally have made it work despite the distance.”
Jisung shrugged.
“I don't think Minho had ever been that into me, anyway.”
“Are you kidding me?” Changbin scoffed, “That man kissed the ground under your feet. He was so whipped, it was scary!”
Jisung would strongly disagree with that.
Not that Minho didn’t like him, Jisung knew he did. In the almost eight months they were together, Jisung never felt unloved or underappreciated in the slightest. Much on the contrary actually, Minho was such a caring boyfriend even if he didn’t always use words to show it. However, Jisung couldn’t forget how the older had been so ok when he told him about moving away. It was something he thought about for months along when he was already in Los Angeles, miles and miles away, and the only conclusion he could get was that Minho’s feelings were never as strong as his.
Not to mention the last time they saw each other Jisung was crying his heart out in the middle of the airport in what probably was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. He cringed just by remembering how pathetic he must have looked, unable to contain his tears while Minho stayed so composed. Minho too must have thought he was pathetic, being so broke because of a relationship of barely eight months. He must have pitied Jisung.
How was he supposed to look into Minho’s eyes and not get flustered thinking of that humiliating moment?
He would die before telling any of it to his friends and shaming himself further, so he just shrugged again and said, “It’s in the past, anyway,” putting an end to the discussion.
Luckily he still had two weeks to prepare himself for the encounter.
♡
It’s been two weeks.
Two entire weeks, but Minho's diet still consisted basically of ramen and chocolate. And because of that Chan decided he had to cook him ‘real food’, in his own words, and was now in Minho's kitchen, having confiscated younger's chocolate under allegations of him not having self-control.
The house started smelling like meat, the aroma creeping into Minho’s nostrils and making him curl further in his blanket like he was a big burrito. The last time he had eaten meat he himself had cooked it, following a new recipe he found in his book and, modesty aside, it came out delicious. So delicious indeed that Jisung repeated three times and then fucked him over the table.
Minho tightened his grip on the blanket, craving his chocolate.
It wasn’t fair! He was a twenty four years old man, he was perfectly capable of making his own decisions! He knew his face was puffed because of all the shitty food he had been eating (and maybe because of all the crying he did though he would never admit that) and he had gained some few pounds, which didn’t make his boss at the dance academy very happy, but chocolate was the only thing providing him some serotonin. Was it that bad to seek comfort when your heart hurt so much it felt like it was about to rip?
Minho almost didn’t notice Chan approaching, one plate in each of his hands. Suddenly the inviting aroma got stronger but doesn’t matter how tasty it smelled, Minho’s stomach still churned, bitterness invading his mouth and making him feel nauseous. Nevertheless, he knew better than to refuse when his friend stood one of the plates to him.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, sneaking an arm out of the protection of his blanket to hold his food.
“I hope you like it,” Chan smiled and sat beside him on the couch.
Unfortunately, Minho could still feel Chan’s attentive eyes on him, waiting to make sure he was going to eat and giving him no other option but to take a reluctant forkful to his own mouth.
“So?” Chan asked expectantly.
"It's good, thanks.”
“Good! I can come back tomorrow to cook for you again!”
“It’s not necessary,” Minho made an effort to keep himself from rolling his eyes, “I’m fine on my own.”
Chan’s excitement deflated, leaving only concern in his face. When he spoke again his voice was tenderly soft and caring.
“I just want you to eat. I know it’s hard right now, but things will get better. I promise."
Minho felt guilt tightening his chest. He hated being treated like a fragile kid who needed to be taken care of all the time but that was exactly how he'd been acting the past days, obviously Chan would be concerned. All of Minho’s friends were. They were doing so much for him, coming to check on him regularly. The least thing Minho needed was to worry them further.
For god’s sake, it had been two weeks already, it was time to move on!
“I’m fine,” he lied.
Chan gave him a skeptical look, “You know, Seungmin told me you cuddled him to sleep yesterday.”
Minho winced.
Fuck Kim Seungmin.
Minho would never do something like that on a normal day but, again, everything had been so far from normal since Jisung left. His usual collected self that would avoid any exaggerated, gooey show of affection had withered into an awfully needy, crying mess that he himself couldn’t recognize. And the more he clung to what was left of his dignity, the harder it was to pretend he was fine.
The nights were the worst, when he laid down on his empty bed missing the warmth of another body and was left alone in the darkness with nothing else to do but to face the haunting memories of heart-shaped smiles and eyes that could make him feel more worthy of worshiping than any god. In the silence of his room he heard the ghost of a sweet, deep voice whispering songs and promises of love into his ear every night, tormenting him to tears.
It made him so helpless, knowing that all the plans, all the warmth and safety, everything was now gone. As a result, he stole Chan from Hyunjin for three consecutive nights in the first days. Felix was next, and even Hyunjin had had his turn to cuddle a crying Minho to sleep.
Yesterday, exactly two weeks after Jisung left, Minho hit rock bottom. He hugged Seungmin when he was about to leave and begged him to stay the night through teary eyes. Repeating: he voluntarily hugged Seungmin, cried in front of him and begged him to stay.
Kim Seungmin.
Minho would never recover from such humiliation. Ever.
Fuck Han Jisung for leaving him and making him so miserable. It was all his fault.
“Minho,” Chan placed a gentle hand on Minho’s knee over the blanket, every word leaving his mouth very carefully as if he was afraid Minho would break at the slightest disturbance, “I know you said you didn’t want me to bring this up again, but I really think you guys should tal–”
“No Chan!” Minho bluntly interrupted, closing his eyes and taking a big breath to calm his nerves, “Can you please just stop? It’s over. He’s chasing his dream, I’m gonna be fine.”
The last time Jisung and Minho talked was exactly one night after Jisung left. More specifically Jisung sent “I arrived safe,” to which Minho replied “Good,” and it was probably the drier message they've ever exchanged. Minho thought about adding “I know you’re going to achieve everything you dream of. You’re the most talented person I’ve ever met,” but he ultimately decided not to because he would definitely get carried away and end up crying and sending something along the lines of “I miss you, I love you, please don't break up with me, please we can make it work just don’t leave me,” and so he chose to delete Jisung’s contact instead.
Two weeks later and his friends still insist he should send Jisung another message, or call him and talk things through. There was nothing to talk about though. Minho knew they were breaking up the moment Jisung sat in front of him, jittering with anxiety and avoiding his eyes, and told him he was called to work for a big company in Los Angeles.
It was over. Minho repeated to himself for the nth time.
From now on he wouldn’t shed a single tear on this matter. Last night was the last time, he was done crying and done worrying his friends.
“Ok, I'm sorry,” Chan apologized, “Do you wanna watch a movie then?”
Minho nodded, appreciating Chan’s attempt to give him an enjoyable distraction.
Chan turned the TV on and opened Netflix. The first movie that popped up on the big screen was a recommendation to Minho, the trailer starting automatically.
“ Oh ,” Minho felt wetness on his cheeks and he almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all because the movie on the screen was Howl’s Moving Castle and once again he had failed in keeping his tears.
Would the day ever come when it would stop hurting?
♡
It was finally the day.
Jisung was wearing his best suit, the jacket was cropped and completely black, accentuating his tiny waist. It was paired with black pants, a white shirt and a black tie. His blond hair was slicked back and Felix had applied some light make up into his face to highlight his big eyes. He knew he looked good, he checked three times before he left and then checked again on his phone’s camera to make sure. He was hot as fuck, he had nothing to worry about.
“Oh my god, can you please stop?” Changbin blurted, laying a hand on Jisung’s leg to put an end to its movement, “You’re making me nervous!”
Jisung averted his eyes from the street he’d been watching through the taxi window and looked at his friend with a frown. He was so lost in his own mind that he didn’t even notice the restless tap of his feet on the floor, as much as he didn’t notice he was worrying his bottom lip until he had to stop doing it to answer his friend.
“Sorry.”
“Why are you so nervous anyway?” Changbin asked, “It’s not your wedding.”
“Me?” Jisung put a hand on his chest with a surprised face, “I’m not nervous! Just excited to see my two friends getting married, that’s all.”
Changbin gave him that annoying knowing look before he just shrugged, “Yeah, whatever you say.”
Jisung wasn’t nervous. Maybe a little anxious, after all he hadn’t seen or talked to Minho for four years. Not even one single message, not even on their birthdays. What should he even say? “Hello, long time no see!”? And when Minho’s boyfriend, the Mnhyuk guy, asked who Jisung was, what would he answer? His ex-boyfriend? His friend? His ex-friend?
God, whatever way Jisung looked at it, it sounded really fucking awkward.
The taxi came to a halt in front of the community center where the ceremony would take place. Felix and Changbin hurried to get out of the car, not wanting to lose one more minute since they were already kind of late considering their initial plan of getting there earlier. It was partially Changbin’s fault for taking eternity in the shower, but also Jisung who lost his phone (it was on silent mode!) when they were living and made them look for it for thirty minutes only to find it inside the fridge. And, because Murphy was a dick, there was an accident on the way that made them get stuck in traffic for another fifteen minutes.
Jisung took a big breath and followed his friends, thanking the taxi driver before closing the door. Despite everything they were still on time for the ceremony, and Felix had sent Sana a message to save them a seat. They just wouldn’t be able to see Hyunjin or Chan before the big moment, which was upsetting but at least they’d seen them the previous night.
They gave their names to the man at the entrance and soon they found themselves in an overcrowded back garden, beautifully decorated with colorful flowers. Two long rows of white benches made a path towards a higher platform where the grooms would make their vows and most of the guests were already seated since the ceremony would start at any moment.
“And Chan said he invited only his closest friends…” Jisung commented in awe.
“Well, it’s Chan,” Felix wisely pointed out, “Now c'mon! We have to find Sana.”
Jisung let his friend pull him by the wrist and guide him through the sea of people, Changbin being dragged along by Felix’s other hand. They pushed their way through fancy suits and colorful dresses, getting closer to the front until they saw a familiar face waving for them from the third row.
Sana looked insanely beautiful in her red dress, almost like a queen. A smile took Jisung’s lips immediately upon seeing her and he waved back a little too enthusiastically as they walked towards her.
“Thank you so much for saving us a seat!” Felix said when they finally took their places beside her, “You can’t never expect to get anywhere early with those two.”
At that Jisung and Changbin let out a synchronized “hey!” and uselessly tried to defend themselves, but Sana just laughed it out and said it was no problem at all.
Jisung was delighted to see her again and the feeling seemed to be mutual. They’ve never been close friends but Jisung liked her a lot and always had fun whenever she came to visit Chan in their old studio. But Sana wasn’t the only pleasant encounter, Tzuyu was by her side and Bambam was sitting right behind them so Jisung had the chance to catch up with all of them. It was nice and heartwarming to be received with so much enthusiasm by them despite the fact that they had lost contact completely in the past four years.
“Hey,” Changbin said out of the blue, pointing in the direction of the benches on the other side, “Isn’t that Jeongin over there?”
They all followed Changbin’s fingers, trying to see past heads and clothes. As promised, there was Jeongin with his cute smile and fluffy dark-brown hair, dressed in a plaid brown suit while he talked to another guy who had his back to them.
Jisung felt enthusiasm be injected into his veins, spreading quickly through his body. He and Jeongin shared a dorm in their uni years so they used to be very close, but after Jisung moved out they didn’t message each other as often as Jisung would have liked. He did tell Jeongin about his return to the country though, but, unfortunately, they haven’t had the chance to meet in person yet because Jeongin had been so busy with his job the past two weeks. Jisung was anticipating meeting him in the wedding and now that it was finally happening an inevitable wave of joy sprawled over his body.
“Yeah, it's him!” Felix nodded happily and then he was screaming “Jeongin-ah!!!” at the top of his lungs, waving a hand over his head to try to catch the other’s attention.
Jisung was more than ready to put his hands around his own mouth and shout with Felix if it weren’t for the fact that, in a second glance, he noticed that the back of the guy talking to Jeongin was rather familiar. A cold thrill of recognition ran down his spine, making his heart stop for a terrifying second but no one seemed to notice, as Felix, accompanied by Changbin, kept screaming.
Jisung knew he would be there. He’d prepared himself. He was ready to talk to him and have a friendly encounter, so why were his hands sweating?
Jisung swallowed dry, watching almost in slow motion when, attracted by the commotion, Minho turned around in search of the source of the screams, familiar cat-like eyes finding them immediately.
Jisung’s blood started to run at twice the speed, making him feel a little dizzy. The heat rose through his chest up to his neck until it was burning his cheeks with a type of shame that left him self conscious about every muscle of his face, his blinking and his breathing. Still, he couldn’t avert his eyes from Minho's face, it was like seeing a ghost. He’d seen him in pictures (and, mostly in his first year abroad, in his dreams too), but this was a reminder that Minho was actually real. And he was now just a few meters away. Minho in flesh and bones. And sharp nose. And plump pink lips. And soft features, big lashes, dark eyes, broad shoulders, fluffy hair…
Jisung realized right there that maybe the ‘friendly encounter’ he was planning wouldn’t go as easily as he thought. Maybe he should go for a plan B and just avoid Minho as much as he could, it would probably be for the best.
It would definitely be for the best. This situation was horrifyingly reminding Jisung of the first time he had seen Minho, the way his breath-taking features completely bewitched him right away, to the point that he malfunctioned. Back then Jisung still didn’t know Minho was a cat lover, nor did he know Minho was like a big cat himself, with a bitter humor sometimes and a death glare that could definitely kill by itself but also with his surprising clingy side and his odd gestures of love and care in the most unexpected moments. Later he got to know lots of Minho’s quirks and his funny and lovely personality that made Jisung fall in love along the way, but on that first day all he knew was that there was that inexplicable, overwhelming attraction between them, leading Jisung to one of the craziest decisions of his life. (He still blames the post-performance adrenaline for how out of control he acted, although they prove to be a very sexualy impatient couple even months through their relationship.)
Jisung watched, stunned, when Minho’s eyes rolled from Felix to his face instead and his smile slowly faded. If Jisung felt like seeing a ghost, Minho looked more like he was face to face with the boogeyman itself or one of the scary monsters of the horror movies they used to watch together. Color drained from his face and his eyes widened so much that if life was a cartoon they would have fallen out of his eyes sockets.
One thing was for sure, opposite to Jisung who’d been preparing for this moment the past weeks, Minho had no clue he would be meeting Jisung in the wedding. Chances were that he didn’t even know Jisung was back in the country, or he would have guessed.
Jisung smiled awkwardly, forcing himself to look back at Jeongin. At this very moment he felt Changbin’s gentle hand on his lower back. At first he thought it was just a gesture of reassurance but then he realized everybody else had sat and the noise of conversation had died down around him. Jisung flopped into his seat so fast that his butt hit the bench a little too hard, making Changbin giggle at his side. His cheeks burned as he slapped his friend’s thigh in retaliation and when he looked again, Minho wasn’t looking at him anymore.
The first notes rang in the air; the ceremony was starting.
♡
The first notes rang in the club; the show was starting.
Minho had the best view of the small stage from his perfect place in the front row, after all it was his first time watching one of Chan’s gigs with his new rap group 3Racha and he didn’t want to miss anything. It was promised to be a fantastic performance, if Chan’s excitement when he invited Minho to the club was any indication. Actually, Chan had been over excited since he met the other two members of the group, Changbin and Jisung, in an underground rap competition he attended once. According to Chan, the three of them “clicked”, they worked in “perfect harmony like they shared the same brain cell” and making songs with them was a “marvelous experience”. Regardless of the fact that Minho hadn’t heard any of their songs yet and hadn’t even met the other two men, apart from a very brief encounter with Changbin once when he was grabbing coffee with Chan, he knew their music would be great. Chan tends to know what he’s doing and if he said the other two were “fantastic rappers and songwriters” Minho had absolutely no reason to think otherwise.
The audience burst into screams as Chan came onto the stage looking hot as fuck in just a simple black shirt and black pants and a mic in his hands. Minho joined them, clapping in amusement at how confident and joyful his friend looked while he sang and at the horny comments and yells he pulled out from the people around.
Turns out Chan was only making the introduction for the song so they barely had the chance to relish in the enthralling flow of his rap before another man took the spotlight, the small but powerful figure catching Minho off guard. With dark hair held by a bandana and wearing a red jacket that was way too big for him, the man dominated the stage right in the first verse. His body moved with boldness, incorporating that relaxed but domineering pose rappers usually aim for. His expressions while he sang were sinful, pink tongue peeking out of his mouth from time to time and a lazy, cocky smirk forming in his heart shaped lips. Words fell from his mouth so easily and charmingly as if they were meant for it, the deep voice kissing Minho’s ear obscenely until it took his breath away.
That must be Jisung. Minho wondered why no one cared to tell him that the man was the perfect stereotype of a fuckboy, like he just walked out of one of Minho’s wet dreams. Chan could have warned him and spared him the embarrassment of getting so worked up over a stranger with too much smugness for his small body. Was he back to his teens when he popped a boner by as much as seeing a pretty man walk by?
True to be told, Minho really needed to get laid. It had been what? Six months since the last time? No doubt he was so horny and, honestly, he was very aware of that. The pack of condoms and the pocket size lube on his jacket were there to prove. He was just waiting for an opportunity, and Chan’s invitation to his gig tonight sounded like the perfect one. Only he didn’t expect Chan’s group mate to be the one catching his interest.
For the rest of the performance Minho’s eyes kept following Jisung wherever he went. Chan was amazing as always and Changbin proved to be even better than what was promised, but something about the man with adorable features contrasting with depraved eyes made Minho determined to get into his pants. Modesty aside, he was pretty confident he would. He never had any issue to get laid (actually, the real problem was finding someone who wanted him for more than just sex) and tonight shouldn’t be an exception.
There was only one thing that could stop his plans...
The show ended. The crowd exploded in cheers and applause, Minho included. After their last thanks, the trio left the stage and a DJ took charge of the club’s music, playing some generic pop. Minho sneaked through the people until he found Chan and immediately embraced him with very deserved compliments, however he didn’t fail to notice the presence of both Changbin and the hot boy right beside them.
Up close, Jisung seemed even smaller, his big cheeks rosy after performing and bottom lip trapped by his teeth. His huge eyes were glued on Minho and Minho hoped that his unblinking glare was a good sign because he very much wanted to ruin that beautiful face.
Chan made the introductions. Minho already kind of knew Changbin, so they exchanged polite smiles and Minho congratulated him for the presentation. Then Chan was placing a hand over the hot boy’s shoulder and saying, “And this one is our youngest, Jisung.”
Minho locked eyes with him and smiled, but Jisung's gaze only narrowed at him as he kept his unfazed stare. The air got stuck in Minho’s lungs, a thrilling shiver running down his spine. Nervousness swelling in his stomach when he wasn’t able to clearly decipher what that glare meant.
Oh , but he was very excited to find out…
Chan suggested they should grab some drinks and Minho took this as an opportunity to pull his friend a little away from the others, letting Changbin and Jisung walk ahead.
“Is he interested in men?” He asked, expectantly.
Chan frowned, completely clueless, “what?”
"Jisung. Is Jisung interested in men?” Minho repeated a little more avidly.
“Oh,” Chan’s face lit up in realization, an insinuative smile curving his lip, “he’s bisexual.”
Minho couldn’t stop his own smile at the new information, determination to conquer the hot boy building up in him.
Chan, on the other hand, just seemed amused by it, laughing softly, “Just be careful not to overwhelm him, Jisung can be a little shy with strangers.”
Minho thought it was intriguing how the same man who acted so shamelessly on stage could be a shy guy out of it. Nevertheless, he would be attentive to any sign of discomfort Jisung could show.
When Chan and Minho approached the other two again they found Changbin teasing Jisung. At least that's what Minho thought was happening by the way Changbin was elbowing Jisung with a mischievous smile in his face, but he didn’t hear what they were saying. Whatever it was though, it made Jisung’s face a little more flushed.
Cute.
Minho went to stand beside Jisung at the bar counter, leaning in to shout his order over the music playing in the background. The hot boy's eyes immediately fixed on him again and at this point Minho was starting to feel like a prey under the weight of those dark orbs.
That hungry stare could only mean two things, or Jisung desired him as much as he desired the man or Jisung just didn’t like his guts. By the way he chug his drink in one go as soon as the bartender handed it to him, without breaking eye contact once, Minho suspected it was the first option.
Raising his brows in mute challenge, Minho did the same with his own drink, feeling the buzz of arousal provided by the mix of alcohol and the tension growing up between him and the other man.
“You were really amazing back there,” he said, placing his, now, empty glass on the counter.
Jisung seemed surprised by the compliment. For the first time since Minho saw him, he faltered, seeming in a loss of words for a second before he asked, voice laced in genuine curiosity, “Did you really like it?”
“I did,” he answered honestly. Then his voice dropped to a lower, more sultry tone and he added, “Couldn’t take my eyes off of you…”
“ Oh.”
Minho could totally see Jisung had a shy side now but was it wrong if he actually found his pink cheeks and googly eyes adorable? Minho smiled, so much smugness for Jisung to be this easily flustered.
“Do you wanna dance?” he invited, looking for an excuse to get away from Chan and Changbin, even if the two seemed too engaged in their own conversation to pay any attention to Minho and Jisung flirting beside them.
Jisung agreed right away and followed Minho. As soon as they found themselves in the center of the dance floor, their eyes locked again and that magnetic force pulling Minho towards Jisung got so much stronger it was a miracle he didn’t throw himself in the man’s arms right there.
Jisung bit on his lower lip but this time it was more of a cocky gesture that only made him look all the more attractive. Minho couldn’t wait any longer to taste those lips.
He stepped closer.
“Is there something in my face?”
“Hm?” Jisung frowned.
“You keep staring at me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just…,” Despite the clear blush in his face, Jisung’s eyes darkened when he admitted, “You’re really pretty.”
Minho felt a wave of arousal, “Would you kiss me then, handsome?"
Jisung’s surprise lasted only one second before their lips were crashing together. Then it was warm all over. Warm where Jisung’s hands cupped his face, warm coming through Jisung’s clothes where Minho grabbed his tiny waist and pulled him closer and warm, almost scalding, when Jisung’s tongue slipped inside his mouth, making him gasp.
It felt good.
Really good.
After all the anticipation, Minho was relieved. It had happened before, more than once, of him getting all worked up for a man just to be disappointed when they finally got to something. Jisung, however, lived up to all the expectations he created, making the kiss get completely out of control in an embarrassing short time. If it weren’t for a girl who “accidentally” bumped into them and finally brought them back to reality and the fact that Minho was almost climbing the smaller man in the middle of the club, Minho might never have stopped.
When they pulled apart, Minho looked at Jisung’s already wrecked face, all red and lips wet with their mixed saliva, and it made him a little dizzy. He had really outdone himself this time, Jisung was a sight to behold.
But it wasn’t enough yet. He wanted more, craved more.
Jisung acted faster. He grabbed his hands and dragged him along with just a hushed “c’mon .” Minho barely had time to realize he was in the club’s dirty bathroom before Jisung joined their lips again, more yearning than before. The only thought left in Minho’s mind repeating itself over and over again was more, more, more .
He took Jisung’s jacket off, throwing it aside without a thought about the dirty environment, and slipped his hands inside Jisung’s shirt in a desperate attempt to feel more of his warmth. Hands going all the way up to the man’s chest. Jisung let out a dangerous groan at that and yanked Minho by his thighs to place him over the sink counter.
“You’re so fucking hot” Jisung mumbled against the skin of his neck before he started sucking and nibbling, pulling out embarrassing little whines from him, “can’t believe you’re real.”
Minho is not proud of the way his cock twitched pathetically in his pants. Nor is he proud of how he looped his arms tightly around Jisung’s neck and basically rubbed against him like an animal in rut.
“Fuck,” Jisung’s deep voice in his ears and the hand that went to grasp Minho’s butt and help him grind their erections together made Minho straight away moan against the other man’s soft cheek, “I wonder what pretty noises you would make if I fucked your cute little ass.”
Minho’s body froze for a moment as a crazy, really insane idea flashed through his mind. Jisung must have misinterpreted his reaction because suddenly he was pulling away, guilt written all over his face.
“Shit, I-i’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I screwed up, didn’t I?” he mumbled, “I’m really sorry-”
“No!” Minho exclaimed a little too urgently, holding Jisung’s waist to bring him closer again, “No. Actually, I-”
He hesitated, afraid that if he showed how desperate he truly was he would weird Jisung out. In the end the hopelessly needy part of him spoke louder.
“I have condoms and lube with me here,” he admitted in a conspiratorial whisper, showing the items inside his jacket.
Jisung's eyes widened in astonishment.
“You want…” His mouth hung open and it was adorable. Minho wanted to coo at how cute he was, but the anxious butterflies whirling in his stomach wouldn’t let him.
“Here? Now?” Jisung asked, sounding incredulous.
Minho dropped his eyes to his hands, regretting ever suggesting it. They weren’t even drunk to justify such insanity, now Jisung probably thought he was a pervert, or worse, a weirdo .
“You’re right, we probably shouldn't-”
He was cut off by Jisung’s lips again. The sudden movement pulled a soft surprised sound from his throat before he closed his eyes and kissed back with passion.
“You’re really something else,” Jisung smiled in his lip, but then he pulled away enough to look into Minho’s eyes and added in a more serious tone, “Are you sure?”
Yes, more please.
“Yes.”
That was all he had to say for Jisung to take him to one of the toilet stalls and lock the door. Everything was like a fever dream after that. Minho’s pants were pulled down to his ankles, careful fingers soaked in lube opened him up with gentleness and then Jisung’s cock was sliding inside of him, hot and wet.
But something was wrong.
In the stall the smell of bleach was much worse, the space barely enough for both of them. Minho had his hands on the nasty wall while Jisung, a complete stranger, held his hips from behind and fucked his ass. It was supposed to be uncomfortable and disgusting, a quick and mediocre way of release sexual tension. Yet, the way Jisung treated him with so much care…
It shouldn't be like this, feel like this . But Minho couldn’t help it, not when Jisung kept whispering filthy sweet things into his ears about how beautiful he was and how cute he sounded. Minho found himself struggling to keep it down, it was impossible with how adoringly Jisung peppered every reachable part of his neck with kisses or how he sensually licked the skin behind his ears. And every time they heard someone entering the bathroom Jisung would join their lips in a lazy, far too erotic kiss and slow down his thrust to a painfully delicious rhythm that felt awfully intimate for the occasion.
Minho was melting.
Why was this man making him feel like he was in the arms of a lover instead of a stranger?
He was way too loving. Minho’s head was spinning. Jisung knew nothing about him, his body or his secret kinks (except maybe for being fucked in unexpected places) and still he was making Minho unravel as easily as if his arms were the safe place Minho had been looking for his entire life.
This was definitely not in Minho’s plans when he decided to flirt with him.
Jisung whimpered in his ear. Minho was amazed by the adorable sound, but then a hand wrapped around his cock and started to stroke him and all he could do was concentrate on staying on his feet despite his jelly knees.
“Precious,” Jisung's voice sounded even deeper and hoarse with arousal but the pet name was so sweet in his lips, it was too much, Minho was- “are you close?”
Minho came with a loud cry. The powerful jolt of pleasure made his whole body shake as he threw his head back into Jisung’s shoulder and added to the dirty wall with his cum, not even noticing the sound of someone else entering the bathroom.
He felt weak as the last drop left his dick, but Jisung held onto his body tightly and didn’t let him fall to the disgusting floor, the man’s hips still rocking against his ass.
“Open your eyes,” Jisung groaned, using his stained hand to hold his face, “ Look at me .”
The idea of letting Jisung see how wrecked he was made another sob leave Minho’s lips. He complied, nevertheless, opening his tired eyes and allowing Jisung to see just how well he had ruined him.
“Fuck,” Jisung cursed, only tightening his grip on Minho’s face. Three more thrusts in Minho’s sensitive hole and he too was moaning out loud and filling the condom with his release.
They stayed like that for another minute, regaining their breaths.
“Are you-” Jisung muttered at least, breaking the silence “Are you ok?”
Jisung was staring at him again, eyes big and expectant while he asked that damn stupid question.
Ok ? Minho wanted to laugh but he didn't have enough straight, so he just hummed.
“I- Just wait here a minute.”
Minho almost fell when Jisung suddenly released his hips, but Jisung stabilized him in time. He only let go again when he was sure Minho could stand by himself and then he threw the wasted condom in the bin and left Minho alone in the stall. Less than a second later he was back with a bunch of papers in his hands that he used to gently clean Minho’s body of any remaining fluid. It was in that moment, while he felt the tender brush of paper towel in his ass, that Minho came to the realization that the same single thought was still looming in his mind.
More.
He wanted to know more about thehot boy who was way too sweet and kept whispering dirty things during sex. He wanted to know just how much more adorable he could get, how much more rough and dominant. He felt like he’d got just a little addicted to his voice and his tender kisses, he needed to taste it again. He needed more .
After Jisung cleaned him and did what he could for the wall too, the man crouched and helped Minho put his pants back on. Minho looked down at him and for a second their eyes met.
The way Minho’s heart hammered in his chest couldn’t mean anything good.
“I need to wash my hands…” he stated because it was the only other thing he could think of saying instead of confessing embarrassing thoughts of how much he enjoyed their sex and how he maybe had gotten the slightest bit enamored.
“Yeah, of course!” Jisung said, standing abruptly, his voice getting high pitched for a moment. He cleaned his throat and looked at his own hands, “I should probably wash mine as well.”
They went to the sink to get rid of all the germs they surely had on their hands and Minho blushed when he realized he also had a little of cum in his face where Jisung held it earlier.
The cleaning process was made in silence, only the sound of the water and the faded music playing outside making them company. They really looked destroyed, like they had just arrived from war, (or from the greatest fuck of their lives). Even if they tried their best to resemble presentable people again, when another man came into the bathroom they still received suspicious glares.
Well, at least they tried.
When they were done, Jisung and Minho locked eyes in the mirror. None of them seemed to know what to say next. Minho gathered his courage and was about to ask if Jisung wanted to exchange numbers when another voice pulled them out of their little moment.
“Oh shit, you’re still here,” it was Changbin, who appeared out of nowhere with the most traumatized expression Minho had ever seen.
“God dammit, Changbin,” Jisung exclaimed in surprise, placing a hand over his heart, “what the hell are you doing here?”
“For your information, this is a public restroom!”
Just like that, Minho and Jisung were blushing to the top of their ears.
“S-since when were you here?” Jisung muttered.
“Since the ‘ awnnnnn’ part.” Jisung and Minho flinched at Changbin’s dramatic filthy feigned moan, “I thought you had left, I heard the door!”
“Were you hiding inside one of the stalls and listening to us?” Minho could be flushed but it didn’t stop him from using an accusatory tone.
“Well, it obviously wasn’t my intention to listen to any of this!” Changbin retorted, offended, “If I didn't have to pee so bad I would have come back later when I realized what was going on but I just couldn’t wait. You guys, seriously? The bathroom?” Minho and Jisung fell into a guilty silence, “You’re gross.”
It seemed like Jisung had an answer to that but the (a little too loud to be accidental) sound of the guy from before reappearing from the toilet got their attention. The stranger walked directly to the door, staring at them the whole time with judging eyes as if the three of them were the scum of the earth, and then he left.
The audacity, he didn’t even wash his hands!
The unexpected encounter with Changbin and the stranger at least dissipated the tension around Minho and Jisung. They decided to go back to find Chan but Minho felt so drained that he didn’t stay for much longer. Only when he got home did he notice he ended up not getting Jisung’s phone.
Minho didn’t have the courage to ask Jisung’s number to Chan but he did start to visit his friend's studio an awfully lot after that. In one of those occasion he found Jisung alone there and maybe they fucked in Jisung’s chair. They exchanged numbers this time and then they were fucking more and more often until one day Jisung figured Minho had never seen Howl’s Moving Castle and he invited him to his house to watch it together. But the thing is, he called it a date. Another thing is, he specified it as being a romantic date.
That day, Minho learned three new things about Jisung:
1) He was so very tiny when he curled on Minho’s chest to watch the movie;
2) He cried easily, which Minho thought was cute;
3) It was impossible not to fall in love with him.
♡
When later, in the after-party Jisung found himself face to face with Minho, he noticed three things he had missed before:
1)Minho’s hair was now dyed purple, which only made him look all the more pinker and soft.
2)He had a new piercing in his ear, a cute cat jewelry .
3)The boyfriend, Minhyuk, was nowhere to be seen.
Naturally, Jisung didn’t comment about any of it. He was busy greeting Jeongin and Seungmin, the latest one being another old friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. Meanwhile, Minho was talking to Changbin and Felix on the side and Jisung vaguely registered that they were complimenting each other’s outfits.
When it was Felix and Changbin’s turn to say hi to Jeongin and Seungmin, Jisung found himself awkwardly facing the man who, four years ago, had made him miserable.
Minho had recovered a little from the initial shock, but he still looked at Jisung as one would stare at a dinosaur or any other extinct animal walking alive in a park on a sunday afternoon. The tension was getting so strong between them that Jisung was really considering just turning around and running away but then he repeated to himself that he was a mature man and as such he should face the situation (a mantra he’d been telling himself since he first saw Minho in the beginning of the ceremony).
There was no reason for them to have hard feelings towards each other, much less reminiscent romantic feelings, after all their story ended four years ago. This was just the same as meeting an old friend you’d lost contact with. Except that the “friend” used to know you inside out and then abandoned you to face the unknown all alone and heartbroken.
No hard feelings.
“Hi Minho, it’s good to see you again,” he greeted with excessive politeness.
Minho blinked three times in a row, a gesture Jisung knew he did when he was confused or trying to organize his thoughts. He opened his mouth to answer but then Chan and Hyunjin approached them and all the attention turned to the newly married couple.
The next few moments were spent with many congratulatory words, warm hugs and Hyunjin’s tears. Jisung felt himself smiling genuinely upon seeing his two friends so happy and in love, until his attention was grabbed by Chan finally making the question he’d been moderately (desperately) wanting to know.
“Minho, where is Minhyuk?”
“We broke up.” Minho answered so upfront that even Jisung was taken aback for a moment.
“What?!?” Suddenly Hyunjin was chiming in, “You broke up?? When? How?? Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Love, calm down,” Chan holded Hyunjin by the waist although he also had a mix of curiosity and concern in his face.
Minho's expression remained unfazed, not revealing a single hint of what he could be thinking. He had always been reserved about his vulnerable parts, his most secret feelings and thoughts, especially when he believed it would make others worry. In the past, Jisung would likely be able to read past it but now he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know anything about Minho and Minhyuk’s relationship, except that they were together for over a year and so Jisung supposed Minho should be feeling the post-breakup depression even if he didn’t show it.
“When did this happen?” Hyunjin questioned again, more composed this time.
“The day after the last time we had lunch together.”
“What? This was two weeks ago! We met again after that, why didn’t you tell us?”
“You were busy with the wedding, I didn’t want you to worry,” Minho said casually, “Besides, you knew I was thinking about ending things with Minhyuk.”
“Well, yes but… you’ve been talking about breaking up for a while already, why now?”
Minho took a big breath, as if he was discontented but not surprised by the interrogation he was being submitted to. Knowing their friends, he probably expected it.
“I first intended to wait until after today because of the wedding but Minhyuk kept insisting on buying those fancy suits to match and I honestly didn’t want to pay for it when I already knew we would break up so, yeah…” Minho shrugged, nonchalant.
“Are you ok, Min?” Chan asked this time, concern laced in his voice as always when it came to one of his close friends having a hard time, “Have you been eating well? Taking care of yourself?”
Jisung noticed the very subtle way Minho sighed, the first sign of his facade stirring.
“Yes, I’m fine,” he said, finally letting a little of his frustration show in his voice. He seemed to regret his tone right away, eyes meeting Jisung’s so briefly that Jisung wondered if he imagined it.
When Minho continued he sounded much smaller, the tip of his ears flushed pink, “I know my face is all ugly and puffy but I’m taking care of myself.”
Jisung frowned. He couldn’t point out if Minho was really puffed or not but one thing was for sure, it would always be risible to call his ex anything remotely close to “ugly”.
The Minho Jisung used to know was very aware of his own out-of-this-world beauty, but even with all his confidence sometimes he got insecure, especially about how easily he got puffed and gained weight. He used to follow a diet to avoid it but most of the time he was conscious that, it didn’t matter what, he was pretty. Jisung made sure he remembered that, happy to repeat it all the time. He hoped it was just one of those relapses of insecurity now too, and that Minho didn’t actually believe in such nonsense.
Minho’s words seemed to be what Chan feared the most. The newly married man had worry writing all over his face when he glanced at Seungmin, a silent question in his eyes.
"It’s true,” Seungmin nodded, “I went to check on him, he’s eating well. More chocolate than normal, but he’s cooking proper meals and being obnoxious as always. ”
Chan clearly relaxed after that, his expression softening as he looked back at Minho who now had an annoyed scowl on his face. It didn’t scare Seungmin who looked very satisfied with himself, nor did it stop Chan of being almost too caring as it was of his nature.
“First, your face is pretty, puffed or not, and you know that,” Chan said to Minho, with sincerity, “The reason I ask is because I care about your health and no one can survive on ramen and chocolate. I’m glad you're eating well and taking care of yourself though, Min. I’m still here for you if you want to talk. Ending a relationship is always hard-”
“I’m fine,” Minho interrupted. Chan only stared at him with a skeptical look that was the last straw to make Minho roll his eyes, “I really am! It’s different when you actually want the relationship to end!”
At his own words, Minho widened his eyes in panic. This time Jisung was sure that their eyes met before Minho looked away, flushing deeper than before.
Tardily, Chan and the others seemed to notice Jisung’s presence too. All the attention turned to him and Jisung felt very embarrassed as though he’d been caught listening to a conversation he wasn’t supposed to.
To be fair, it wasn’t his fault. He was there all along, they were the ones who began that conversation so carelessly as if they had forgotten that Jisung was no longer part of their group of friends. At least, not to Minho.
Cleaning his throat, Chan said in an apologetic tone, “Well, I’m happy as long as you are and, truly, lately that relationship was doing you more bad than good,” Minho gave him a small smile, as if to tell him it was ok. Chan then turned to all of them, “Guys, I hope you enjoy the party, me and Hyun have some more people to greet but we’re going to join you soon!” and then he and his husband were walking away.
They decided to find a table to sit after that, which didn’t take much time. The salon had lots of beautiful tables, big enough to accommodate around twelve people each. They joined the one where Bambam, Sana and some other acquaintances were seated and Jisung, trying to follow his plan B of avoiding creating uncomfortable tension, chose the chair as far away from Minho as possible. However, that meant that the two remaining seats were in the opposite corners of the table and then Felix gently asked him to change places so he and Changbin could sit together. Jisung was incapable of denying anything to Felix, which resulted in him awkwardly sitting right beside Minho, to his own distress.
Fortunately, Jisung soon engaged in a conversation with Jeongin and Seungmin, which very much distracted him from the presence of his ex beside him. At least for a few minutes, until their topic started to die down which caused Jisung to capture hints of Minho’s and Jaime’s chatting. When he heard they were talking about the Minhyuk guy his attention was immediately caught again.
“...good enough to him,” Minho was saying, a glass of champagne in his hand, the tip of his ears already red although Jisung knew he needed way more than what he had had to actually get drunk, “It just felt like he didn’t value my efforts, you know? I cooked his favorite dishes, even if I actually hate chicken soup, I got out of my way just to pick him up so we could walk home together, I bought all the stupid things he liked, but nothing was enough! He just complained that I didn't say ‘I love you’ as much as he did, as if this was the only way to show love!” Minho huffed and took another sip of his drink.
“When someone doesn’t understand that people can show love in different ways things start to get hard, I get that a lot too.” Jamie agreed.
"Exactly! After a while it got so draining that I just totally stopped trying,” Minho’s furor increased as he spoke, “And the way he always talked like a know-it-all and as if I was some kind of idiot who couldn’t understand the most basic knowledge? It pissed me off! He’s five years older than me but I’m not a stupid kid or something! I hated when he talked like that so much, it’s a miracle I haven’t punched him in the face.”
Jamie laughed at Minho’s fiery words, nodding in sympathy.
Meanwhile, Jisung felt ashamed of the naughty satisfaction swelling in his guts. He mentally slapped himself for it because, what the hell? He shouldn’t care about Minho’s romantic life.
“I really don’t know how I dragged this relationship on for so long. I pushed myself to the limit ‘cause I didn’t have the courage to break up. The good thing is, when I finally did I was completely sure of my decision.”
It was pathetic. Jisung knew it was stupid and yet there he was, comparing himself to the other man. Thinking that he was better to Minho, like some petty boy.
How could he ever think he was ready to meet Minho again when he had thoughts like those?
He was pitiful.
Still, Jisung couldn’t bring himself to stop listening. Every new information was making him have that mix of satisfaction and annoyance. This Minhyunk guy got lucky enough to date Minho and didn’t even treat him right. It was annoying.
“Like, it’s not as if he’s a bad person or something,” Minho continued in a less feral tone, “He showed up in my life when I most needed to be loved and to love, you know? He was also very supportive of my work and very caring in his own way. We just… didn’t match?”
“Yes, that happens,” Jamie reassured him, “In the beginning everything is magical but it’s after it gets more domestic that these things really start to show. And sometimes you just don’t match, it’s normal.”
“Yeah, we had totally different interests and expectations. Do you know what he said when he saw my purple hair? He said: ‘dying hair is for teenagers’!” Minho hit his glass a little too hard on the table, “But I should have expected, coming from him,” he rolled his eyes, “Minhyuk hates animations, which is not a problem. I was fine watching it by myself, but he kept laughing at me and saying that animation was for kids and not for grown up men.”
“Pfff.”
Jisung didn’t realize he’d scoffed until Minho and Jamie turned to him with questioning eyes. He was left with no other option but to speak up.
“Yeah, what separates a man from a child is animation,” he said, pure irony in his every word.
To his relief, Minho didn't seem bothered by his comment. To boost his ego, he actually smiled as if he thought it was funny. Jisung got so hyped up by it that he even added in the same ironic tone of voice, “Imagine crying over an animation then? The person must be such a baby,” he finalized with a perfect roll of his eyes.
Minho giggled.
He actually giggled, the sweet nostalgic sound turning the moment so dreamy. It was completely unreal to hear it again, Jisung couldn’t get rid of the stupid pround smile in his own face at the fact that he provoked it.
“I guess I’m talking to a specialist then?” Minho asked back teasingly, raising his brows.
Jisung's smile widened, “Of course. I know everything about being a real man. You have to watch action movies with as many fights as possible!”
Minho nodded as if he was deeply thinking about it.
“Obviously cute animal videos aren’t allowed, those are a waste of time.”
"Obviously."
“Excepecially the cat ones because they teach you how to meow and a real man barks.”
Jisung was the one chuckling this time, the nonsense actually being funny to him. Minho followed suit with his high-pitched laugh harmonizing with his like the missing piece of a puzzle.
After that, their conversation just kept naturally flowing. Everything clicked, like the harmony of Jisung’s world had been restored. He didn’t have to try, it just happened as if an inexplicable force was compelling him to Minho. All the awkwardness from before disappeared and they were in their familiar little bubble again, like they had traveled back to four years ago without realizing.
Jamie had long lost interest in their conversation, probably having given up on understanding their humor. It was just the two of them, joking and laughing like the silly man they were. At some point, they unavoidably talked about their lives as well. Minho told Jisung about his new cat Dori and Jisung showed pictures of his baby Bbama, the little dog he adopted in his first year abroad (because he was feeling lonely, although he purposely kept that information to himself.) They also talked about their new hair color, Minho’s grape one and Jisung’s blond, about a movie they’d watched and about life abroad. Eventually Jisung let it slip that he’d watched some of Minho’s performances and that he really liked them but, to his surprise, Minho too confessed to having seen some of his new works.
“Really?” he asked with genuine disbelief.
“Yes, your music is really great,” Minho said ever so casually.
Jisung felt that wave of pride in his veins again.
“Any favorite song?”
Minho didn’t think much before he answered, “‘I got it’ and- uh…,” he trailed off at the last minute, his muscles tensing.
“And?” Jisung encouraged.
Minho blinked at him, quickly. Jisung guessed he was debating if he should tell whatever was in his mind or not. In the end he let it out, eyes honest but voice small.
“‘I wish you back’.”
Oh.
“ Oh ,” Jisung’s heart decided he was tired of being an organ and would now become a gymnast, to prove it he made a double flip on his chest.
Minho was the only one who could be blamed for the organ's sudden shenanigans. The man had simply said that while looking Jisung directly in the eye, as if that wasn’t the song Jisung wrote for him when he was completely heart-broken and alone in a foreign country.
“Uh, those are… really good songs, yeah,” he mumbled, biting on his bottom lip, “Thank you.”
Minho nodded but the tension had already sat between them again.
Jisung was reminded that they weren’t the Minho and Jisung combo from four years ago. Minho had let him go, crushed his heart without shedding a single tear. He could be in front of him again, in all his goddess beauty and silly jokes but that didn’t mean they could go back to what they once were, as much as a river was never the same.
Why did Jisung want to kiss him then?
This is probably the normal reaction to being face to face with the prettiest man on Earth, but still… He shouldn’t be fooled, he shouldn’t fall for the same man who once broke him. He shouldn’t feel jealous at the idea of another person touching him, loving him. Shouldn’t feel so light and floughty at the sound of his laugh. And he definitely shouldn’t be staring at his perfect plump lips.
They were close, very close. When did they get this close? He wouldn’t know. The tension was so thick it was hard to breathe and then…
“Excuse me,” Minho bluntly stood up, “I need to use the bathroom.”
Just like that, he left. Jisung stared at his back while he walked away, like the idiot he was. Only when he disappeared from sight did Jisung let out the breath he was holding. His eyes then met the man in front of him. He didn’t even notice when Changbin had changed seats, but there he was, staring at him with his side smile and knowing eyes.
How long has he been watching? This voyeur.
“What?” Jisung asked before he took a big gulp of his drink, “I don’t like your face.”
“Jealous of my pretty face, Sungie?”
Oh no, that tone of voice...
“What are you planning, you’re scaring me,“ he eyed Changbin suspiciously.
“Me? Nothing…” his friend's smile widened.
This couldn’t mean anything good.
♡
When Minho received a weird message from his boyfriend saying they needed to talk, he immediately smiled.
Jisung was planning something, that could only be it. His boyfriend can’t keep things to himself, so he has to be short and vague when he’s trying to hide something. Maybe he had finally decided it was time for them to move in together, the mare thought already enough to fill Minho with excitement.
However, the moment his boyfriend entered his home he realized his mistake.
Oh no, that face…
Jisung could barely look into his eyes. He was chewing his bottom lip as if it was bubble gum, entire body jittering.
This couldn’t mean anything good.
“What happened?” Minho asked, pulling him to the couch.
“Min… Something happened,” Jisung repeated, anxiously.
Minho wanted to shake Jisung and scream to say it already, his boyfriend’s hesitation only adding to his nerves. He didn’t do it, obviously. Instead he held Jisung’s hands and hummed for him to continue.
“Do you remember when Chan and Binnie started working for their companies?”
“Yes?” Minho nodded, itching to know where this would go.
He hoped Jisung wasn't having another of his confidence crises, like he had when Chan and Changbin were first called by those renewed companies two months ago.
Back then, the three of them had had to sit down and have a long and serious conversation. At the end of it they decided as a group that the opportunity they were offered was too special to refuse. It meant that they had to give a pouse with 3Racha, which Chan was especially reluctant about. The older man didn’t want to give up on their group when they were starting to make success but Jisung managed to convince him, arguing that the knowledge and experience could be useful for 3Racha in the future.
What they didn’t know was that Minho cuddled a crying Jisung to sleep that night. They didn’t see the days Jisung spent questioning his own talent for music, making Minho feel so powerless when he couldn’t stop his boyfriend from hurting. It was the worst feeling, to see the man he loved suffering and be incapable of doing more than offering some useless reassuring words.
Jisung was so amazing, his creativity and sensibility never failing to bewitch Minho. He wished Jisung could see himself through his eyes, how he had all the reasons to brag and be as smug as he wanted. Chan and Changbin only accepted their jobs in the first place because they knew Jisung had great opportunities coming ahead too. He was still so young, he had just graduated in music and was yet to conquer the world, his job as a songwriter only the first step in that long road.
But, as a matter of course, time did its magic and after a long painful week, Jisung was back to his confident self. Naturally every now and then, like any other person, he still had his down moments but the countless nights of crying were gone and if it was for Minho to decide, it would stay this way. Jisung should never feel unhappy.
“Well, you see…'’ Jisung continued, “I wasn’t feeling very confident back then, as you know,” Minho nodded again, squishing Jisung’s hand just a little. His boyfriend made a pause before he let it all out in one breath, “I was jealous and afraid of being left behind, I was being so stupid when I refused to apply for the same company as them, I didn’t think such important companies would want me, but one day I just said ‘fuck it, I’m gonna try this famous company in Los Angeles cause they won’t accept me anyway’ but I didn’t tell anyone cause I didn’t want you to create expectations, and then I didn’t hear from them for a while and thought it was it, they really didn’t want me so I just forgot about it, until this afternoon when I received an email and…,” Jisung stopped, biting his lip again.
Minho felt a little disoriented with the sudden burst of words. However he was used to his boyfriend’s rambling enough to make out the general message. His brain worked fast going from confusion to extreme excitement and then, thinking a little further he realized why Jisung couldn’t look him in the eyes.
His heart sank.
“I was offered a contract of four years, with possibility of renewing,” Jisung finished, voice so small it was barely audible.
Just like that, Minho’s whole world came crashing down on him.
That’s why Jisung was so nervous, he was breaking up with Minho and moving to the other side of the world. Obviously! Why would Jisung want to stay together when he hated massages so much, to the point his phone was always full of unread messages? Maybe they could video call, but Los Angeles was on the other side of the world, meaning an opposite time zone. Even disregarding all this, Jisung was an affectionate man, he liked cuddling and being clingy and having sex. He was so full of love that sometimes it made Minho dizzy. To top it all, he was a romantic too, he liked having that special someone to call his , a place in his heart Minho still couldn’t believe he got so lucky to occupy, even if only for a short while.
When Jisung moved abroad he would have the chance to meet new people and focus on his career, so why would he want a boyfriend he wouldn't even see?
The answer was clear. He wouldn’t.
Although Minho thought about it over and over in search of a solution, a way to make it work, he knew it was helpless. There was no way he wouldn’t be a bother for Jisung once he moved away. Even if they tried to stay together, sooner or later the distance would make Jisung get tired of him. It was better to nip it in the bud.
He needed to let the love of his life go.
Minho forced himself to put a big smile on his face. Forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, pushing all his feelings away. All of them until he was hollow, a shell with a fake smile and empty eyes.
“That’s fantastic!” He threw himself over Jisung, hugging him, “I’m so happy for you, honey! I told you!! I knew you had only success ahead of you and this is just the beginning! It’s going to be so amazing! I’m so proud of you!”
Even if his excitement was feigned, his words were not. He genuinely wished for Jisung’s success, so much so to the point of letting him go. Yes, he wanted to beg his boyfriend to stay or at least to try a distant relationship but he couldn’t bring himself to be so selfish. First of all, he would rather go through the pain over and over again before standing between Jisung and his dream. Second, keeping Jisung attached would only hold him back when he was supposed to be stepping forward to a new phase of his life.
One in which Minho was not included.
“I- I will have to move to Los Angeles…” Jisung mumbled with an uncertain tone, a little as if he was apologizing. As if he feared Minho was losing the big point.
Minho was not.
“Hey, it's ok!” His voice sounded too euphoric to be honest, “This is such an amazing opportunity! Remember what you told Chan? You can’t let the chance slip between your fingers! So don’t worry about anything else. When are you going?”
Jisung looked a little taken aback for a moment. He opened his mouth a couple of times before the words seemed to finally reach his mouth.
“They told me I had one month to decide.”
“So we still have one month to enjoy before we have to break up, right?” Minho said, sounding almost supplicant. Pleading for at least one more month before they had to go through different paths.
"B-break up?” Jisung squeaked but Minho paid him no attention, too caught up in his own devastation and in keeping his mask of happiness to see past his own feelings.
He didn’t want Jisung to think he wasn’t happy for him.
No, it wasn’t that.
He didn’t want Jisung to know he was hurt. That in only seven months he had grown addicted to him and now he was scared to learn what the side effects of his absence would be.
Fuck, Jisung had Minho’s heart in his hands. Minho doesn’t even know when he’d let him get so much power over him. The worst is that he couldn’t even bring himself to regret it. Jisung was the best thing that ever happened to him, the most loved and appreciated he ever felt in a relationship.
“It’s gonna be fine!” He said in his overexcited tone, maybe more to himself than to his boyfriend, “You’re going to be so famous! But we don’t have to worry about moving abroad yet, right? No, not tonight.”
“I- uh, s-sure.”
“Actually, we should celebrate, I’m gonna open a bottle of wine, wait here.”
Minho made his way to the kitchen, eager to have a moment alone to breathe. His hands were trembling when he picked his best glasses and a bottle of wine. He stopped for a moment, staring blankly at the glasses and taking big breaths. He told himself to calm down, to put himself together and be happy for Jisung.
He was definitely taking too long to go back but he appreciated that Jisung didn’t come to check on him for once. He stayed there until he stopped shaking and calmed the storm of bad thought in his mind. It took some minutes but he managed to control his heartbeats, with the promise that he wouldn’t think about this anymore. Not until Jisung had to live. For the next few days he would act as if everything was normal and he would enjoy every second he still had with his Jisung. He would make which one of them worthy.
What Minho didn’t expect was to find Jisung crying when he got back. His boyfriend tried to hide his tears but Minho had already seen them and was at his side in a heartbeat, holding him.
“Baby, no…” Minho’s heart squished in agony, demanding Minho to do something about it.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…”
A selfish part of Minho really thought Jisung would ask if they could try a distance relationship and was hoping for it. After all, it was evident that they loved each other but how long would it least once they were miles and miles away? Minho really didn’t think it would work, however if Jisung actually wanted to try he’d indulge him. He would do anything for him, even delay the inevitable for a while.
“I won’t cry anymore, I promise. It’s just that… I’m a little scared of moving to another country…”
Minho felt disappointed but at the same time relieved. He knew it was scary to move abroad alone, but once Jisung was there he would adapt quickly. Jisung can be a little anxious with strangers but once he opens up it’s impossible not to fall for him, Minho had no doubt he would do just fine.
“It’s gonna be alright, Hannie,” he said softly, trying to cheer his boyfriend up, “You’re gonna do so well, I can’t wait to see you in big concerts. Going on tours all around the world-”
“I’ll miss you…” Jisung revealed with a sob, “When we b-break up.”
Minho was taken aback by the confession, falling silent for a moment.
That was what he wanted to hear but it still hurt. He didn’t want Jisung to be sad, much on the contrary. He knew Jisung had to go because music was what made him happy.
Of course they’d miss each other but what else was Minho supposed to do? Could he forgive himself if he got in the way of Jisung’s dream?
No.
Minho allowed himself to strip from all the fake smiles and the pretended euphoria until he was left bare and vulnerable, his heart right there for Jisung to see.
“I love you, Jisung. So much ,” he whispered, the most honest he’d been since his boyfriend sat in front of him, “That’s why I think you should go.”
“I love you too, I love you more than I thought possible.”
Minho relished in the truth in Jisung’s voice. For a moment he almost believed everything would be alright but deep down he knew the pain that was to come. It made him feel angry with the world, the destiny and, unrightfully, even with Jisung for leaving him.
Sighing, Minho rested his head on Jisung's shoulder and got comfortable in the safest place he knew: Jisung’s embrace.
“We shouldn’t think about this anymore,” he said, “Let’s just drink and maybe watch a movie, what do you think?”
Jisung sighed too, involving Minho with his arms and bringing him even closer.
“Sounds good.”
♡
“Sounds terrifying.”
Jisung was alone in his corner of the table, sipping from the strawberry drink a waiter had just offered him and trying to pretend he wasn't ogling Minho dancing from afar when Changbin sat beside him sing-songing that he had a surprise for him.
“Have a little faith!” Changbin retorted.
“Let’s get it over with. What is it?”
Changbing took a pack of condoms and a pocket size lube from his jacket and put it in Jisung’s hands before he could even process what was happening.
“You’re welcome,” Changbin said with the biggest grin on his face.
“What the- Changbin are you nuts? What is this?” Jisung looked around afraid someone else had seen the items. Luckily, no one seemed to be paying them attention but it didn’t make Jisung any less abashed.
“It’s condom and lube for a safe sex,” Changbin said as a matter of fact but, seeing as Jisung still looked rather confused and incredulous, he added, “i just got the feeling that you could need it.”
“What?” Jisung couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In Chan and Hyunjin’s wedding party, of all places! “Why would I need this? Take it back!”
Jisung shoved the items in Changbin’s hands again but the man didn’t grab them. Instead he stubbornly pushed them back in Jisung’s direction.
“No, you keep them!”
Jisung pushed them to Changbin once more.
“I don’t want this. Changbin take it-”
“Hey guys!” The high-pitched scream Jisung let out was definitely incriminating. He hid the condom and the lube in his jacket so fast that even he was surprised, “I’m going to join the others on the dance floor, do you wanna come?”
“Yes!” Jisung replied without thinking, a little too loud as if he hadn’t been suspicious enough already.
“I’ll pass, but thanks for calling Innie.” Changbin said, clearly suppressing a laugh.
Jeongin was polite enough not to ask what they were doing, he only smiled at Jisung and started walking to the dancing floor. When he realized Jisung wasn’t following, he stopped and looked back at him, “Are you coming or not?”
“Oh,” Jisung finally realized what he had agreed to, “Yeah. Sure.”
He stood up to follow Jeongin but not before sending Changbin a last glare.
The jerk didn't look any less amused.
Jeongin led the way to where Minho, Felix, Hyunjin and Sana were dancing. Although it wasn’t Jisung’s original plan to join them, once he was there he decided he should enjoy himself. The only little detail was; it was even harder to pretend he wasn’t staring when Minho was just a few feet away from him.
They hadn’t exchanged a single word since Minho abruptly ran to the bathroom earlier. When he came back he sat in another chair, away from Jisung, and so the following hours were spent stealing glances across the table.
It was really like their eyes were being pulled towards each other by a mysterious force. Jisung lost count of how many times he had been caught staring and, in return, found Minho doing the same thing during the past hours. And yet, they still tried to ignore the elephant in the room and act as if they weren’t literally incapable of keeping their eyes from each other for more than five minutes.
Universe clearly wasn't on their side.
Only half an hour later, Sana and Felix went back to the table claiming they needed a break to regain their energy and soon after Hyunjin and Jeongin left to the bar to get themselves more drinks. Then it was just the three of them: Jisung, Minho and the tension.
That third member had gone tired of being brushed off, it was now demanding to be acknowledged. Its presence was so real that Jisung almost could feel its touch, as if it had its arms around his body pulling him towards Minho.
Look away.
His brain screamed but Jisung’s disobedient eyes refused to obey.
At least he could tell that Minho was affected too. The older had his gaze transfixed on his face, eyes unblinking and dark but still familiar in a way that got Jisung’s chest squeezing with something akin to longing.
Jisung wasn’t stupid. It had gotten obvious that, despite his denial, he still felt attracted to Minho and that the feeling was mutual. However, he couldn’t let himself get carried away by the lust. It could be purely sexual interest to Minho but Jisung was very aware of how easily he could fall for his ex if given the chance. He knew that story too well.
(Spoiler, it ended with only one of them crying.)
It definitely wasn't a good idea. Especially when Minho had just ended a long relationship with someone else. It would be insensitive of Jisung to make a move when Minho was most vulnerable and take advantage of it just because he was too weak for the older.
Their conversation earlier had sparkled something inside him, he admitted. It seemed a lot like hope, to his horror. He’d been so sure his and Minho’s story together was over for good but it took only one brief conversation for old feelings to resurface.
What a pathetically weak heart he had.
He just needed to endure the tension , he told himself.
Keep ignoring it.
Stop staring.
Don’t let the hunger in Minho’s eyes subdue him.
Talking about Minho’s eyes, Jisung saw when uncertainty filled them. His ex hesitated before blinking a couple of times and then his stare fixed even more deeply on Jisung’s with determination. Jisung knew that expression. Minho had made up his mind, the question was what about?
Jisung gulped.
Minho stepped closer.
“Is there something in my face?”
The known words whispered in a flirtatious tone were like a stab in Jisung’s heart. It made something shift inside him, poisoning his veins with an animalistic anger that had him seeing red.
He took possession of Minho’s hips and his next words were spat darkly mere millimeters of the other’s face.
“You shouldn’t play with me like this, Minho.”
Minho seemed rather pleased with the proximity, distracted by Jisung’s lips so close to his.
“If it makes you uncomfortable I’ll stop, I just thought we both desired the same thing.”
Jisung kissed him.
Minho had always been able to push all his buttons just right, rile him with ease, drive him crazy. God, did Jisung feel like he was going insane when Minho’s plush lips touched his. Any trace of hope that he would be able to resist the temptation vanished the moment he tasted Minho, the feeling so familiar it hurt .
Jisung was left frustrated, angry and horny.
He broke the kiss and wrapped his fingers around Minho’s wrist, feeling his head spin with the Deja vu as they crossed the salon to get to the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked behind them, Jisung kissed Minho again.
He hated the way they still fit in so perfectly. He hated that talking to Minho was still so comfortable, so natural. He hated even more that their bodies still knew each other so well, how Minho’s hands gripped the hair in the back of his head in an act so recognizable that Jisung’s heart screamed in his chest. More than anything, Jisung hated that Minho’s lips still tested like home.
The irony of being locked with Minho in a bathroom just like the day they met, (even if this time the place they were in was much more pleasant and reserved,) was the cherry on top. It made Jisung feel like he was in the hang of jumping off a cliff even if he had already gone through it and knew perfectly well just how deep the fall could be.
“Is this about your ex?” Jisung growled ferociously in Minho’s ear, skillful fingers used to play the guitar, working fast to open the man’s shirt, the jacket already tossed somewhere in the floor, “Do you want me to make you forget him?”
Minho blinked at him, expression growing dark as he pulled their lips back together without answering.
The idea of being used as a replacement or a bandage to Minho’s wounded heart made Jisung’s blood boil. He tightened his grip on Minho’s waist, pulling a way too sweet yelp from him that he swallowed fervently.
Did Minhyuk make Minho sound like this too? Did he drink his soft sounds right from his perfect lips? Did the other man touch Minho, kiss every inch of his body? Did Minho moan Minhyuk's name and cling to him as if he was a life saver the way he was doing with Jisung now?
Jisung had no right to be jealous, but at that moment he just let the ugly part of him take control, possessiveness fogging his brain.
“I’m gonna fuck so deep into you that you’ll forget anyone else had ever been inside you, kitten.”
The moan Minho let out was different from anything Jisung had heard from him before. He sounded like he’d waited his whole life to hear Jisung call him this way again, helplessly trying to roll his hips against him.
“So you still like that,” Jisung softened a bit, endeared by the pink tint creeping into Minho’s cheeks, “pretty kitten.”
“Hannie…” Minho whined, begging.
“That’s right, kitten. Mine is the only name that you should be able to think of.”
Jisung got rid of Minho’s pants and underwear, leaving him only in his open shirt. With an impulse, he sat Minho beside the sink and then he just had to step back a minute and admire the beauty in front of him.
Minho was impossibly pretty, so flushed and needy for him.
Jisung couldn’t believe such a perfect man had once been his. He had had that preciosity all to himself and had managed to lose it like some fucking idiot.
Jisung gripped Minho’s legs, going for that sensitive spot inside his thighs and squeezing hard. Minho gasped and willingly let Jisung spread his legs until his pink hole was exposed. So compliant and giving, almost as if he was still Jisung’s.
It would be so easy to pretend he still was.
But the reminder that this was all about forgetting some shitty ex was what was pissing Jisung off.
So Minho thought that after four years he could just make Jisung’s heart beat strange only because he was missing his ex, easy like this? Because one thing was for sure, Jisung would be thinking about this night for days and maybe even months. Once again he would be left to fantasize alone of what could have been. But even if he knew that having a taste of Minho again would be his ruin, he was still ready to dwell in an old pain just for one more night with the one who’d been the love of his life.
It didn’t mean, though, that being lured so effortlessly wasn’t frustrating.
He needed to prove himself to Minho. He craved his beautiful sounds and seeing him get undone in his arms. He needed to wreck him, listen to him scream his name until he lost his voice. Needed Minho to be his at least one last time.
Minho wanted to forget Minhyuk?
Great, Jisung would do it.
Jisung took the lube and the condom from his pocket. Minho sent it a weird look, but didn’t ask questions. Or maybe he just didn’t have time because then Jisung was sliding one finger coated in lube inside him in one merciless movement and making him scream in surprise.
“I want to mark you up, kitten,” Jisung said voice so low and deep as he fingered him, “Would you like that? Waking up tomorrow and finding your whole body covered in my pretty marks? And remembering who did that to you? Thinking about me and only m e. Do you want that?”
Minho shivered, mouth hanging open but no word came out, only sweet unintelligible noises.
“Hmm, kitten?” Jisung insisted because, despite the tease, he was also asking for permission.
“H-hannie,” Minho nodded fervently, looking so far gone already, “only you. P lease .”
Jisung buried his face in Minho’s neck at the same time that he buried another finger in his ass. Then he was kissing, sucking and loving every inch of Minho’s skin, fingers still working inside him tentatively slowly.
Minho gripped at Jisung’s arms, nails digging into his skin. He was panting, flush covering his chest and creeping up to his neck and ears. Jisung could feel his heat against his lips and tongue, melting his brain. He could feel Minho’s heartbeat when he kissed his chest and was proud of the moan Minho let out when he bit particularly hard at his thigh.
Jisung slid another finger in, wrapping his mouth around Minho’s cock and bobbing his head at the same rhythm of his fingers. Minho took a fist full of his hair, holding onto him like he was afraid he would disappear at any moment. Jisung’s name kept falling from his mouth over and over again, so sweet, so supplicant, so much like his Minho used to.
Jisung felt tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. He speeded up his movements, blinking them away and pushing the memories back to their dark corner.
He was not going to embarrass himself.
He sucked Minho up until the older’s body started to tremble and Jisung’s dick throbbed painfully inside his pants. He pulled away but kept fingering Minho, looking up to find the older looking dazed, mouth slightly ajar letting out short puffs of air and little ‘ahs’ every time Jisung touched his prostate.
Jisung smirked.
“Look at you,” he cooed, trusting his fingers harder.
Minho kneeled.
“Hannie, I’ll come…,” he begged, “Please, I need you so bad. Please .”
Jisung felt a sick twist of satisfaction at seeing Minho so wrecked, completely at his mercy. He felt powerful. Glad that he, at the very least, still had some effect on the other man.
“You’re so eager for my cock, aren’t you, kitten?” Jisung scoffed, uncaring of Minho’s struggle. So high in the scene in front of him that he kept the rapid thrust of his fingers, watching Minho get on the verge of collapsing, “So desperate… Doesn’t even look like you broke my heart so carelessly all those years ago, without shading a single tear.”
Minho's body froze. Jisung froze too, shocked by the sudden change in Minho's demeanor. Minho was still breathing hard but his expression turned into something murderous, furious, his eyes blazing.
“ I broke your heart?” His voice was venomously dangerous.
Jisung opened his mouth to answer but immediately closed it again, biting his bottom lip instead. Minho’s intense eyes were too scary.
“How dare you? You left me! ” Minho growled out, taking Jisung’s fingers out of him and standing up, “You have no fucking right to say that!”
Jisung was startled, it was the first time Minho was talking to him like that. He didn’t know what to do next.
“Kitte-”
“Shut up!”
“But-”
Minho kissed him again. He wrapped his arms around his waist and devoured his mouth. He completely took Jisung’s air, making his mind dizzy. In his bewilderment, Jisung barely noticed his pants being pulled down before he was pushed back and fell sitting in the toilet.
“M-minho?” Jisung squeaked, eyes huge.
Minho glare made Jisung shut immediately. He obediently waited, watching Minho open a condom with his teeth and brutally slide it into his hard dick. Then Minho was crushing the little bottle of lube so angrily that half its content splashed over Jisung’s cock, the coolness of it making him shiver. Minho threw the mistreated bottle hastily on the floor and wasted no time in sitting on top of Jisung.
They both moaned when Jisung finally slid inside Minho until he was buried so deeply he felt like they were one, Minho’s walls slick, smooth and impossibly hot, squeezing him perfectly. In that moment Jisung had no doubt that that’s where he belonged.
He was Minho’s.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he blabbed.
“I told you to shut up!’ Minho started riding him, nails furiously digging into Jisung’s skin again “Fuck, you’re fucking driving me mad!”
Jisung never saw Minho lose control like this, he was sinking onto Jisung so hard Jisung was sure his thighs would be bruised afterwards. Every obscene encounter of their skin so loud that he was afraid it could be heard through the walls and over the music playing outside.
“You idiot,“ Minho said through clenched teeths, flames in his eyes. He kept fucking himself on Jisung, pants and moans mixing with his every word as he continued, “You show up after four years… Everybody knew… But not a single one of them cared to tell me….”
A guttural sound left his lips when Jisung squeezed his butt. He yanked Jisung head back by his hair in revenge, stopping for a breath second to lick his neck and leave a dark hickey there before he resumed his frenetic speed.
“ So handsome, ” Minho spat the words like they were poison, sinking down so hard that Jisung got genuinely concerned the toilet would break, his voice becoming more and more exasperated and out of breath, grip tightening in Jisung’s hair, “You fucker… After everything, you think you can say this shit to me?”
Jisung whined, his head hurting under Minho’s strong grip. His cock being abused by Minho’s deliciously tight hole, making him feel like he was about to explode.
“After you left me?” Minho roared, his thighs shaking with the effort of bouncing, “ You left me! ” He repeated louder, so much resentment burning on his eyes that Jisung felt his heart ache.
“You fucking left! And I-'' Minho’s voice cracked, unexpected tears welling in his eyes and dousing the flames of anger until his body stopped moving and all that was left was a melancholy sadness.
“Fuck, oh my god,” Jisung panicked, heart stopping in his chest “ M-m-Minho are you..? Are you crying?”
“I loved you,” Minho said weekly and then he sobbed.
Minho sobbed.
“Fuck , fuck…” Jisung felt himself breaking. Minho was crying. Minho was crying because of him . Jisung couldn’t stand seeing Minho’s eyes filled with pain, “M-min please don't cry. I’m s-so sorry. I’m sorry baby, p-please…”
Jisung broke in tears too, but unlike Minho who had only a few lonely drops timidly sliding down his cheeks, Jisung was bawling. Suddenly all the emotions felt too much and they burst out of him in the shape of thick tears.
“Jisung?” He could hear the shock and confusion in Minho’s voice.
“I’m so sorry, please don’t cry! I’m sorry I said that, it was stupid,” He kept apologizing, trying to wipe the tears and stop crying but it felt like now that they were out they would never stop coming.
A shameful weep came out of Jisung’s throat.
“Why are you crying?” Minho asked softly, caressing his cheeks gently. His own tears already gone.
“I-I’ve never seen you cry before.”
It was true. Jisung had never seen Minho cry.
It was like a bucket of cold water was thrown over his head, making him wake up to the fact that he didn’t imagine the love in Minho’s eyes all those years ago. He had convinced himself that Minho’s feelings weren’t as deep as his, that he hadn’t suffered as much as him when they were abruptly separated from each other but it took seeing Minho’s tears for him to understand just how stupid he was being.
He bragged so much about knowing how to read Minho but got so immersed in his own feelings that he failed in noticing the obvious. ‘I love you, that’s why I think you should go ,’ that was what Minho had told him four years ago. Despite the fact that Jisung had always known Minho only broke up with him because he was being supportive of his dream, he was just now realizing that encouraging him to move abroad was really hard for the older. It showed how much Minho cared about him and loved him, although he wished they had talked things better all those years ago. It could have saved them a lot of pain.
Jisung was pulled out from his thoughts when he heard Minho’s soft laugh tinkling in his ear and he looked up through his tears to find the other man amused face.
“Stop laughing at me!” he complained, light-heartedly.
“I’m not laughing at you.”
“Yes, you are!” Jisung accused, although hearing Minho’s laugh made him feel immediately better.
“You’re adorable,” Minho’s voice was fond. When Jisung looked at his eyes, they were also fond.
“I missed you, I missed you really bad,” he admitted.
“I missed you too.”
“I missed talking to you.”
“Me too, I missed your smile and your laugh. I missed everything.”
“‘I wish you back’ was written for you,” Jisung didn’t even know where all of those confessions were coming from. He was feeling too emotional to keep them in.
“I listened to it every day when it came out and thought about you,” Minho whispered back, like it was a secret meant only for Jisung to hear.
They stared at each other, the unbearable tension finally gone and replaced by the thrilling feeling of possibility. Slowly but surely, Jisung’s tears came to a halt and his heart felt lighter in his chest.
Then Minho burst out in giggles again.
“What?” Jisung asked, unable to avoid a smile even if he had no idea what amused Minho so much.
“I don’t know. I just think it’s kinda funny. We haven't seen each other in four years and now we’re being so cheesy,” His smile was the most beautiful thing Jisung had ever seen, bunny teeth peeking up cutely, “Also, you’re still inside me.”
“Oh,” Jisung felt himself blush, noticing that his cock was in fact still buried in Minho’s heat, still half-hard even after all the crying, “There is that.”
“We still have to talk better about this,” Minho continued and Jisung noticed that his cock was still half-hard too, “but do you wanna finish what we started?”
“Yes!” he replied immediately, a little too excitedly “I really want that.”
“Com’ re'," Minho smiled, pulling Jisung by his neck.
They kissed slowly this time, tongues taking their time to hug each other. Just as slowly, Minho started to move again, walls tightening around Jisung like they didn’t want to let his dick go, but soon he was sinking in again, the movement of his hips unhurried and sensual.
Jisung slid his hand along his tights until he grabbed Minho’s butt and helped him bounce. Minho’s muscles were shaking slightly with the effort of keeping the sweet rhythm he'd established, his cock furiously red after being edged so much, lacking in Jisung’s tummy as he moved.
Jisung was completely whipped by the sight. He kissed along the red marks he’d left on Minho’s neck earlier and took the man’s cock in his hands, stroking it at the same pace as Minho’s hips. Soon they were picking up the pace again, the sound of their pleasure filling the bathroom one more time.
With how much they’d been stimulated already, it would be a matter of minutes for them to come.
“You’re so beautiful, kitten,” Jisung whispered because he honestly couldn't shut up.
Minho moaned. His movement became unsteady, his dick throbbing in Jisung’s hand.
“Come for me, baby,” Jisung asked and immediately Minho did, crying out his name as he kept riding his orgasm out.
Jisung followed suit, incapable of holding back with the delicious clench of Minho’s wall around his cock. He hid his face in Minho’s neck and filled the condom.
They stayed in each other’s embrace for a long while, panting and powerless. But the oversensitivity was starting to bother them, so Jisung helped Minho stand up in his shaken legs until Jisung slid out of him and then Minho was collapsing on his lap again.
“‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to walk again,” Minho murmured in a tired voice, eyes still half-lidded and satisfied.
“Yeah, no kidding. With the way you were riding me earlier, I might not be able to walk either.”
“Hmm,” Minho hummed. A beat passed in comfortable silence before he spoke again, “But we should really talk about this,” he pointed at himself and then at Jisung.
Jisung nodded and took a big breath before saying, “How are you? I mean, about your break up with Minhyuk? I’ll respect if you still need some time-”
“Jisung, what happened here had nothing to do with Minhyuk,” Minho interrupted, assuming a more serious tone of voice, “You heard me earlier, our relationship ended for real. It deteriorated little by little until there was nothing left for us, at least not as a couple. This was never about forgetting Minhyuk, it was about remembering you.”
Jisung's heart pounded, hopeful.
“Back when you told me you were leaving for Los Angeles,” Minho continued, “I couldn’t see any other option but to let you go. I don’t regret it in the slightest when I see how far you’ve come as an artist but now I realize that I made a mistake when I completely cut you off. I should have reached out to you but the idea of not having you close anymore when I had gotten so used to being with you all the time was too terrifying, so I decided that was the only way of getting over you. I’m so sorry, I should have been there for you, if not as your boyfriend, as your friend.”
“It’s not only your fault, I could have reached out for you too but I put in my head that you had never really loved me and that I had to move on, so I never did. It was stupid."
“No, I should have been sincere. It was just.. too abrupt? One day I was dreaming of moving in with you and the next you were moving out of the country,” Minho laughed dryly, “I guess it messed with my head. I didn’t think you would want to stay with me once you were on the other side of the world and the idea of being just friends, slowly becoming more and more distant, was just too painful.”
“Well, we were both idiots,” Jisung concluded with a soft smile.
“I guess,” Minho agreed, mirroring his gesture.
A strand of his soft purple hair fell over his eyes and he quickly brushed it off. His puff lips still reddish after all the kissing and dark eyes looking at Jisung with so much expectation that Jisung lost his breath for a moment.
He couldn't let him go again.
“Is it strange that after so long I still feel this connection with you? Like, obviously I’m attracted to you, but it's more than that. Like, we fit in? Our minds work in tune?” Jisung struggled to express himself, “I mean, we're having this conversation while locked in a bathroom at the wedding of two of my best friends!”
Minho smiled, eyes shining “I don’t know about it being strange, but I feel the same. I can’t think of any other person who could make a bathroom seem so romantic.”
Jisung giggled, feeling so lightheaded. His heart was fluttering in his chest as he took Minho’s hands to intertwine their fingers.
“Do you want to get out on a date with me?” He asked hopefully, “And, you know, get to know each other again?”
Minho squeezed his hand, “Lucky for you, I haven't watched Howl’s Moving Castle in a while.”
He would never let him go again.
♡
Jisung was holding his guitar. His lucky pick, the one with Jereumi’s face Minho had drawn for him so long ago, was firm between his fingers as he showed Changbin the melody of a new song he had composed the day after Hyunjin and Chan got married.
Suddenly Minho walked in without knocking, bringing some cookies he and Felix bakered earlier and placing it between the two musicians before he leaned in and left a kiss on Jisung's left cheek.
“I’m such a good cupid,” Changbin bragged, watching fondly the way they were acting so lovey-dovey after only one week of seeing each other again.
“You just gave me lube and condoms. You’re not a cupid, you’re just a perv,” Jisung scoffed.
“Well, it clearly worked,” Changbin smirked.
Jisung and Minho had no defense to that.
“But wait, you never told me why you brought lube and condoms to the wedding,” Jisung inquired, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Changbin.
“I didn’t. I bought it in the drugstore across the road when I realized you’d need it. You’re welcome.”
Minho rolled his eyes.
Jisung scoffed again, “I can’t believe you did that in Chan’s and Hyunjin’s wedding!”
“Why are you saying that to me?!” Changbin was outraged, “It was the both of you who put it to use! I should be the one saying that to you! You can’t see a bathroom that you immediately get turned on!”
“Bathrooms are our special place, right baby?” Jisung asked, turning to look at Minho with lovesick eyes.
Minho giggled, “Of course honey, what kind of romantics would we be if we didn’t have a special place?”
“I’m starting to regret my life choices,” Changbin shook his head disapprovingly.
Jisung and Minho straight away ignored him.
“I'm gonna leave you to work on your music now,” Minho announced, leaning in to place another kiss on Jisung’s cheeks but them he surprised Jisung by aproching his lips to his ear and conspiratorially whispering, “We should fuck on his beathroom next.”
Then he winked at Jisung (or tryed to but both his eyes closed. Jisung found it adorable,) and left.
Jisung kept smiling even after Minho was out of the room. He couldn’t help it, he was too happy. He missed the friends he left in Los Angeles and dropping out of his stable job in a world famous music company, risking it all for an old dream, was definitely scary but Jisung never felt so sure of a decision before.
Being close to his friends felt right, working with 3Racha felt right and being with Minho felt so undeniable right. His heart was full and in peace, ready to start a new phase of his life and pursue the old dreams he left behind.
Destiny might have its own turns but it brought him there. Back to his friends, 3Racha and Minho.
He would do it all again.