Chapter Text
It’s cold in Snezhnaya almost every day of the year, but it somehow feels colder as Ajax opens the door to his family home to leave and never return.
He left a note by the kitchen table where he knows his father will have his morning brew in the morning along with some baked goods from a few days ago that his mother went to get at the bakery on their small town.
The same table where his family used to gather up and have meals together before everything changed before he became the monster he is today and ruined everyone’s lives in the process.
It didn’t say much, the letter. Just lies about where he’s going and what’s he going to do and how he will come home eventually, only he knows that he probably won’t, ever.
He catches a tear slide past his lashes before it leaves a track down his cheek. He shouldn’t cry. He’s had plenty of reasons to since… how long has it been? Time stopped making sense after he returned from that void, and even before that, too.
“Big brother?” he hears before he gets the chance to close the door.
Oh, no. He thinks. Not Teucer.
But he can’t exactly close the door in his face and never look back. He’s still so little, but Ajax knows that he’ll remember this and resent him for the rest of his life, and he doesn’t want that, so he turns around and smiles at his youngest sibling.
“Hey, buddy” he says.
“Where are you going?” he asks, rubbing his eyes. It’s too early, but the reason why Ajax chose to leave this early is because he knew that no one would be awake then.
Or at least, he hoped so.
He’s never been good at goodbyes, so he didn’t want to have to give any.
“Oh, I’m going on a trip!” He says and the little boy gasps, suddenly wide awake. “Mhm, remember I told you I was going to make the best toys in the world for you? I start today” and he hates lying to his siblings, but especially Teucer because he knows how much he looks up to him. But he doesn’t think the truth is going to keep him from having nightmares in the future.
Ajax can have them for the both of them.
“Can I come with you? I wanna see the toys you make!” He says, jumping excitedly, and it breaks his heart.
“I’m sorry, buddy, but you have to stay here” he says, and his face falls.
“But I wanna go with you” he tells him, voice breaking, and lip quivering and Ajax knows that he’s going to cry, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.
“You have to take care of Tonia and Anthon for me, hm? You’re the strongest of them all!” He says, going to give him a hug. “Promise me you will, yeah? And I promise to send you the best gifts in return” the boy sniffles, hugging him tight.
“Okay, I promise” he says, and Ajax closes his eyes to stop his own tears from flowing.
“Now go back to bed before mama wakes up, okay?” but the boy doesn’t let go. “Teuce, come on” but his little brother only hugs him tighter, and it rips his heart in a million pieces.
“I’m gonna miss you, Ajax, you’re the best big brother ever” and he hates that he doesn’t believe a single word out of the boy’s mouth. Not when all he knows how to do is destroy.
“I’m gonna miss you, too, little one” he says and finally manages to put him back down on the floor. “Now, be a good boy and go to bed for me, okay? And remember your promise” and against his will, wiping his own tears with the sleeve of his wool pajamas, waving goodbye one more time, the boy disappears in the darkness of the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
The sun is starting to awaken, which means Ajax needs to hurry if he wants to be far enough that they won’t reach him when they wake up. Not that he thinks they’ll go find him when he told them not to, but who knows.
Who knows anymore?
He closes the door after giving one last look to what used to be his home. It stopped feeling like it after he stopped feeling like himself, which is why he’s leaving. He’s a stranger in his own house, and he needs to find himself again.
And the last time he felt like himself was when he had a blade through the body of a demonic creature.
If he learned something during his time in that void is that he’s good at fighting. So, he might as well make some money while he’s at it, and maybe repay his family for all the damage he’s caused them.
And if the price is his own sanity, he thinks it’s worth it, since he already lost it the second that he fell down that black hole.
The city is as big and overwhelming as Ajax remembered. They don’t usually come here, because their town is far enough that, unless it’s a special occasion, neither him nor his family even bothered to come, but he remembers the first time as if it was yesterday.
It was the day he got his vision.
It’s law in Snezhnaya that the Tsaritsa should bless all the new vision bearers of the land since she’s the Archon.
Ajax had been young when he received his, around the age of his brother Anthon is now, he’d say. He still remembers the shock, how he felt like he’d been blessed for something, and he didn’t know what it was. Like he was meant for something more than just staying in his family home, farming the land, and making snowmen with his siblings all year round.
It took him a few years to finally go and do something about it, only for it to turn into a nightmare that he’ll never outlive.
But the city was a dream, covered in white and bright lights, the sound of bells ringing whenever a door opened, like a constant fairy flying next to your ear. Maybe some would find it bothersome, but Ajax liked it back then, because it made Tonia giggle so much, too.
It feels so distant now, like it’s another person’s memories he’s remembering.
He still remembers the way to the palace, although even if he didn’t, it’s big enough that it can be seen from any point of the city.
And that’s where he’s headed because he wants to do something. He wants to be useful. Join the armed forces or something, he knows he’s young which makes him agile and he’s strong, so he knows he could be useful.
And the person that can appoint him is the Tsaritsa, so he goes pay her a visit and hopes that she’s home.
He left home with barely any luggage, just the bow that’s been with him ever since he started his training years back and a scarf that his mother knitted for him after his… incident, so he’d never feel that cold again. He thought about leaving it behind, but it felt wrong, so he wrapped it around his neck and hoped he’d always carry that scent of home but was aware that it was a pipe dream.
He found himself at the stairs of the palace, gulping down a knot in his throat that felt of the size of his vision and took a deep breath, gathering the strength.
Come on, Ajax, he tells himself.
“Are you lost, child?” he hears the voice of a woman, and for a reason, when he turns around, he thinks it’s the Tsaritsa by the clothes she’s wearing, but she’s not.
“I’m not a child” is the first thing that he says, defensive as usual, almost reaching out for his weapon on instinct. “And I’m not lost either”
“This place feels a bit big for you, no? Want me to accompany you wherever it is you’re going? I’m paying a visit to the Tsaritsa myself if that’s why you’re here” the woman says. Ajax feels somehow lulled by her, as if she was putting him under some kind of spell.
“Uh, sure” he ends up agreeing, and the woman smiles. There’s something off about her, and Ajax can’t seem to put his finger on it, but when she starts climbing the stairs, he goes right after.
“So, tell me, child, what brings you to the Palace?” She asks as they walk.
“I told you, I’m not—˝ but the woman shoots him a glance and he shuts up. “I came to ask the Tsaritsa’s blessing to join the Snezhnayan army” and the woman stops walking, then.
“Oh?” she says, turning around to look at him up and down. “Can you fight?” she asks, and Ajax nods.
“Some say it’s the only thing I’m good at” he says, because his father told him that once after he returned wounded from getting in a fight with some treasure hoarders, and it stuck with him until this day.
“Then, I think you and I could help each other out” and he frowns slightly. “You see, I’m… how do I put it? Let’s say I’m a representative of a very private, very exclusive and very powerful department of the Tsaritsa’s army” and Ajax opens his eyes wide, because that woman looks anything but a soldier. She laughs, and her laugh sends shivers down his spine, for some reason. “You don’t believe me?” she asks. “Mhm, well, I guess maybe you’ve never met someone with a vision before. You look like not from the city—˝
“I have a vision” he cuts her off, and it’s her turn to look shocked. “I… I’ve had one for years”
“Oh, then let’s go find the Tsaritsa, I’m sure she will be delighted to hear the news that we’ve got a new recruit” the woman says. “What’s your name?” and Ajax hesitates for a second.
Should he be giving this woman his real name? He doesn’t trust her for some reason, and Ajax is a family name. It was the name of his grandfather, and his uncle after that, so he decides not to.
He’ll leave Ajax in the past and go by a new name now.
“You can call me Childe” he says, which makes the woman laugh. “With an E at the end.”
“Thought you said you weren’t a child” the woman says.
“And I’m not, but that way people won’t expect much from me and let their guards down” he shrugs, as if he’d had this planned for years instead of having just come up with it right this second.
“I like that, Childe with an e at the end” the woman says and walks towards him. Ajax fights the urge to walk back. “You can call me Signora” she smiles making his skin crawl a little. “Come on, let’s go introduce the newest member of the Fatui to our beloved leader” and with that, they head down the corridors, Ajax still not sure what exactly he agreed to.
“Welcome to the Fatui Headquarters, Childe” Signora tells him after they arrive.
He’s been kind of having an out of body experience from the moment he stepped into the Palace back in the city, not really aware of his surroundings or the decisions he’s making, but he’s now in a quite expensive-looking building, filled with people that all have that same kind of vibe that Signora had when he saw her first, as if there’s something off about them.
He secretly wonders if he’s the same, too. If maybe they’re all a bit fucked up and that’s why they’re all there.
That and their will to follow the Tsaritsa’s wishes, apparently.
Their conversation with the Archon was… not what Ajax was expecting, but it was quite unexpected already before that, too.
He was surprised that she remembered him, and then figured that maybe there aren’t that many people with visions in Snezhnaya after all.
He barely said a word, Signora speaking for him and talking about what a great asset he’d be for the organization, since wasting his vision on the regular army would be, well, a waste.
Their leader seemed to agree, which is why she authorized it.
“Can I ask for something?” he said, breaking the silence at one point, both women turning around to look at them. He made the promise to himself not to look or feel small in front of the Tsaritsa, no matter how intimidating she was. So, he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders up. “If I do this, if I join… whatever this group or cult is, I want to make sure that my family is safe” he said, because after all, he didn’t leave his home to protect them only to do something that might endanger them even more.
“You have my word; they will have my protection” the Tsaritsa nodded. “Any other requests?” she asked, a glint of amusement to her voice. Like she’s being entertained by a kid naming a list of things he wants for his birthday.
But there was nothing else Ajax wanted. As long as his family is safe, the rest doesn’t matter.
“I just want to fight a lot; can you help me do that?” and both women smiled then.
“And fight you shall, Childe” they seemed to agree on.
So, as they arrive at this palace-looking place, Ajax isn’t sure if that’s the place for fighting at all. It looks like everything will shatter at the faintest flutter of a butterfly’s wings. Not even mentioning if a Geo user were to wake up with the wrong foot.
“I will show you to your room” Signora tells him, and he just looks around everywhere, seeing how many people are there, which are many more than he expected.
All of these people have visions? He asks himself as they make their way through, because he never saw so many in the same place, and he’s not sure if he somehow can tell who bears one and who doesn’t, but he doubts it.
“Excuse me, uhm, Signora” he calls her at one point. “You never told me what exactly it is that I’m going to be doing here”
“Well, you wanted to fight, right?” and he nods. “Then, you’re going to be training to become a Fatui. That’s what we call ourselves. And once you’re ready, you’ll probably be deployed somewhere else in Teyvat so you can carry on the Tsaritsa’s wishes”
“And what are her wishes?” he asks, but this time, her look is cold.
“None that concern you right now. That is information that only high ranks are allowed to know” she says, and Ajax is curious. But he just nods and doesn’t ask again, just in case.
“We are going to be pairing you with an experienced Harbinger so he can monitor you and train you to become a better warrior” and he almost asks if his pairing is her, because, for some reason, he hopes he isn’t. “He will be meeting you tomorrow” and Ajax nods again, following her quietly until they get to what he assumes is his room.
It’s bigger than the one he had at home, but to be fair, their family’s home was never too big, and four children take too much space as it is. He hopes now one of his siblings will use his room and have more space themselves.
“Alright, welcome to the Fatui, Childe. And good luck” and with one last smile, the woman closes the door and leaves. Ajax strangely hopes he never sees her again.
It’s the next day and someone is knocking at his door. Ajax groans, covering his head with the pillow, because he’s never been good at waking up when someone is calling him.
“Fuck off!” He says, but the door opens instead, and he looks over his shoulder to see who it is. And frowns when he sees a small kid.
“Get the fuck out of bed and meet me downstairs” the guy says, voice deep that shows that he is clearly not a kid, just short-looking.
Is he going to be his mentor? Because he sounds like an asshole already, and it almost makes Ajax miss his companion in the void of the Abyss. Almost. A shiver runs down his spine thinking about her. Guilt prickles at his eyes enough to make him get out of bed just to stop thinking about it.
He throws a shirt on and some pants and goes downstairs. Yesterday, after they left him in his room, he roamed around the place to get familiar with it, to know which facilities were there for him to use and there wasn’t much, but the place was huge.
He’s not sure where in the whole of ‘downstairs’ this guy meant, so he just hopes for the best and heads down the stairs, and eventually finds him.
“You’re late” he tells him.
“I wasn’t told I needed to be anywhere at any time in particular” he shoots back. He already doesn’t like this guy’s attitude.
“Right” the guy says and looks at him. “So, you’re the new guy? What’s your name?” And just like yesterday, Ajax considers, but he doesn’t tell him his real name, either.
“Childe” he tells him, and a few seconds later, the guy starts laughing. But not with him. He’s laughing at him, and it’s pissing Ajax off, mainly because he’s still tired from when he was rudely woken up for no reason.
“Well, to be fair, it does suit you, you look and so far, have acted like a child: being late, brushing off responsibilities…”
“What’s yours? Kid? Because you’re so small, I think my baby brother is taller than you” he pushes, because he’s really not in the mood for talking, but as usual, he is in the mood for a fight, and something tells Ajax that if he pushes this guy’s buttons right, they might.
“Have some respect, I’m not only older than you but I’m higher in rank and more veteran” the guy tells him, his eyes look dangerous, like a storm, and Ajax wants to keep pushing.
“Yeah, right” he laughs airily. “Does your mother know you’re out of bed at this hour—˝ and before he gets to finish his question, he’s being pushed against the wall, a blade that came out of nowhere pressed against his throat, cold and sharp, and drawing blood.
Ajax smiles, he got to him.
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up before I cut your throat?” the guy threatens him, and to be fair, Ajax just wants to keep going.
“Scaramouche! Let go of him!” They both hear, and the other guy listens, reluctantly. The fire, or rather, the electricity in his eyes is still raging so much that Ajax fears if he touches him, he’d get a shock. “You’re supposed to help him train, not kill him.”
“Yeah, well, tell him to not get on my fucking nerves” Scaramouche says, blade falling on the ground with a rattling noise that breaks Ajax out of his thoughts. “I’m leaving, you can find him another mentor for all I care, there’s no way I’m wasting my time with a fucking child” he tells the man whose voice spoke earlier. And without a word, he leaves, and Ajax is still there, feeling the blood from the cut run down his neck and be absorbed by his shirt.
First day here and he’s already got into a fight. This is exactly what he wanted.
Since his mentor abandoned him, Ajax decided to train on his own. Or well, with other people that, like him, seem to be new there.
The only difference is that whereas he is also new, he’s got experience, and the difference between them is so abundantly clear that for a second, he feels bad to be embarrassing them.
In his defense, he wishes all his experience came from hunting wild boars in the forest near his family home, but unfortunately, as much as he can say that it is to avoid being interrogated, he knows it’s not.
In fact, every time he shoots an arrow through one of the dummy dolls hanging from the practice room, he sees and hears the screech of one of those awful creatures. He needs to heal. Needs to fight his way through those demons until he no longer suffers the consequences of his dumb choices.
Because, as much as he hates to admit it, it was his choice. He chose to leave his house that day, chose to go all the way into the woods and chose to investigate that strange-looking tree.
Of course, it wasn’t his choice to stay there, but there wasn’t much of a choice since he needed to get through to get out.
He shakes his head, not wanting to think about the darkness too much and picks up another arrow, shooting almost without looking and hitting the target expertly.
“Look at him” he hears somewhere far to his right, and he tries to pretend he doesn’t know they’re talking about him, but they probably are, since he’s by far the most interesting thing in the room. “Do you think he’s a spy? A high rank sent here to check on us?”
“He said he was new” another one says. Ajax can’t help the smile that rises up to his face. Looks like he won’t be needing that kid’s help after all if he already looks like someone from high ranks on his first hours of training.
Maybe the Fatui won’t even be enough for him and he’s going to have to look for some other place where to test his strength and his abilities.
“Watch out!” He hears suddenly and, before he’s aware of it, he uses his elemental power and the two water daggers break the polearm that was headed his way in two.
There’s a collective gasp in the room when he does, and when he looks around, he sees that everyone is looking at him surprised.
“What? You’ve never seen a vision before?” he asks, but by the way they look, he fears that they might not have.
Ajax assumed everybody here had one, that it was some sort of requisite for them to join.
The daggers are cold on his hands, wet and familiar. He looks down at the torn polearm and tries to find its owner, and of course, it’s the guy that’s adverting his gaze.
He bends down to pick it up and walks toward him.
It’s mildly satisfying to see how they all seem a bit scared of him.
“Here, be more careful next time” he tells him, handing it back.
“S-Sorry, Sir” and his eyes open wide at that.
“Sir? I’m not your superior” he tells him with a light chuckle. “You can call me Childe. And no worries, we’re here to train, and this place isn’t big enough for all of us, so accidents are bound to happen. Just be more careful next time” and with that, he starts walking out of the room, having had more than enough of that for now.
He can still feel all the eyes in the room on him as he heads towards the door, including ones that he didn’t even know where there.
First few days in the Fatui Headquarters go a bit like that, Ajax crafting a legend out of himself, the legendary new recruit, everybody wanting to be on his good side, scared of what will happen if they’re not. Truthfully, Ajax knows he would never hurt anyone here, unless they gave him a good enough reason. But they don’t know that, so he allows them to fan over him, because it’s refreshing, and fun, and it reminds Ajax of what it felt like having his siblings at home thinking he’s the coolest guy in the world just because they don’t know any better.
He misses them, wonders if they’re doing okay and if they miss him too. They probably don’t, kids get entertained so easily these days that they probably forgot all about him already.
“Hey, Childe” he hears as he’s having lunch one day, and when he looks up, he sees someone he doesn’t recognize. “Can I sit?”
“Sure” Ajax tells her, signaling at the chair in front of him. And he might not know her, but at least she looks less intimidating than Signora. Kinder, somehow. Although he should know by now there’s no room for kindness in this place. “No offense, but who are you?” he asks, and the girl smiles.
“None taken, I’d actually be surprised if you knew who I was” she says. “And it’s not important either, so I won’t tell you.” And he squints his eyes at that because it sounds suspiciously cryptic to him. “I’m just here to ask you why you are not meeting with your mentor like you’re supposed to.” and his eyes open wide at that before he laughs. Loud.
“Why I’m—I’m sorry, you can’t be serious.” he says chuckling, hoping that somehow this woman isn’t somehow the boss here or something and he’s being bluntly disrespectful. “There are no meetings because he ran out on me the first day we met and I haven’t seen him since, that’s why.” he says. “What was his name, anyway? Scary-something?”
“Scaramouche” the girl offers the answer and Ajax nods.
“Yeah, what a weird fucking name, too. But anyway, he came, laughed at my name, and left after almost slicing my throat, look” he shows her the ghost of the scar that the press of his blade did.
“Yeah, he can be… well, impulsive” and Ajax just rolls his eyes, because honestly, he could not care any less. “But you two still should work together, you need a mentor.
“I don’t think I do, though. I’ve been doing pretty good without him so far, and I don’t see how he can help me at all. If anything, maybe I could help him—”
“He’s a Harbinger, he doesn’t need your help” and all signs of kindness are gone when she says that. “And it seems to me that you’re just a kid that knows how to use his weapon and thinks you’re better than anyone else for it, am I wrong?” and Ajax feels offended.
“Look, if you came here to insult me, you might as well leave” he tells her, his vision raging on his hipbone, the urge to fight once again high on alert.
“I didn’t, I came to tell you to go to your meetings with your mentor” she smiles again. “Every morning, nine, sharp”
“Well, make sure to tell him, too. And to leave his attitude behind” Ajax snaps, not hungry anymore.
“Yeah, you should also leave yours” and with that, the girl stands and walks away. He sees a flash of red attached to her suit. He chuckles under his breath. Pyro vision. He could vaporize her.
So, tomorrow morning at nine he’s seeing the kid again.
Scaramouche, the woman said.
Maybe he should do a bit of research before they meet again.
If there’s something Ajax learns as he tries to figure out just who this Scaramouche guy is, is that everyone here, especially the high ranks, seem to be like ghosts. They’re known by everyone, but no one knows anything about them.
“Scaramouche? I heard he comes from Inazuma, that he’s a fugitive from the law” someone says when he asks, but just ten minutes later, someone else tells him he was born in the woods, or in Celestia and is an undercover Archon, or that he’s a robot, a clone, a machine.
So, all in all, Ajax decides not to believe a single word of what people have told him and just go to their meeting with an open mind, try to start fresh, give the guy another chance.
Who knows? Maybe they just got off on the wrong foot and when they see each other again, they’ll get along just fine.
Or maybe they don’t, and Ajax will get a kick out of him again, either way, he’s fine.
He goes back to his room after a full day of practice and heads to the common showers first.
At first, he felt weird sharing it with so many strangers, because he wasn’t used to it, but now he doesn’t bat an eye as he picks up his towel and heads there.
And he’s not fazed by the people that clearly stare at him as he showers, either.
“Have you heard about the Tsaritsa’s plan?” he overhears as he washes his hair, ears picking to be able to hear properly.
“What? Of course not, we’re no allowed to know” another voice responds. Ajax closes the water a bit, so the spray isn’t so loud.
“Apparently, someone heard two Harbingers talking about it and they said she wants to take over the whole Teyvat” he says.
“Well, that much I assumed, why else would she need a secret army if she didn’t?” and Ajax keeps listening, pretending he’s scrubbing his skin.
“But why would she want to? Aren’t the Archons supposed to, you know, be a team and protect us as a whole?”
“Why should Gods have more power than us, though? It’s bad enough that there are already people that have visions, like that Childe guy. He’s clearly superior to all of us and makes us all look bad. Imagine how unfair it is that there are even more powerful people than that” and Ajax’s never been compared to a God before, but he finds he doesn’t mind it much.
Unfortunately, someone else walks into the room and whoever was speaking, stops, so that’s all Ajax gets to hear on the topic, and he spends the rest of the night trying to think about how exactly the Tsaritsa wants to take over Teyvat and how exactly is he helping and… if he wants to take part in it at all.
It’s nine in the morning sharp and Ajax is downstairs waiting for Scaramouche to show up, but his expectations are obviously low, and he considers at least going to the kitchens and getting something to eat as he waits, but just in case the man appears while he’s gone and thinks that he somehow forgot, he doesn’t.
He starts to wonder if the woman he saw yesterday actually told Scaramouche to be here or if this is somehow a punishment for him, but just as he’s deciding to give up, he hears the sound of footsteps approaching.
“Have you been waiting long?” is the first thing that he asks when he reaches him.
“Honestly? Yeah” Ajax responds, a bit pissed off already because it must’ve been almost an hour. And his anger only grows when the other guy smiles, pleased and nods.
“Good, it was my intention” he says. “So, it has been brought to my attention that you desperately need a mentor” and it only keeps getting worse.
“I don’t—˝
“First thing you should learn is to speak only when you’re told to” he cuts him off. “Especially if one of your superiors is talking. Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Your desperate need” and the smile on his face makes Ajax wants to reach for an arrow and fire it directly at him. He’s clearly doing this on purpose, and it’s making his blood boil. He looks at him as if he’s daring him to say something again. But Ajax bites his tongue.
“I’ve heard you’ve been showing off your abilities ever since you arrived, which is dumb of you because now everyone here knows your weaknesses” and Ajax just squints his eyes at Scaramouche’s words, because he doesn’t have a weakness, and that’s precisely what he wanted everyone to know.
“What? Are you going to tell me that you haven’t been showing off? Firing arrows everywhere? Showing everyone how special you think you are because you’ve got a vision?” and every word out of his mouth is filled with venom. Ajax wonders if he could instead bite his tongue and poison himself with it.
And since he’s directly asking him, he does respond.
“What’s the point of being a good fighter if you can’t show it off?” he says, standing up just to Scaramouche will have to look up at him, and it’s weirdly satisfying. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing for them to know I’m better”
“The thing is, you’re not. You’re just some cocky, entitled and egocentric asshole who happens to be a good with an arrow, but you’re not special, Childe”
“Well, if I’m not special, how come you know all this about me? Have you been stalking me?” he tilts his head, seeing how much it seems to infuriate Scaramouche, so he smirks. “Mhm, well, then if I got your attention, then I guess it worked” and when Scaramouche looks away, tips of his ears red, Ajax counts that as a personal win.
Not sure what the battle there is, exactly, but winning is always the goal, and he’s on the right track.
“So, Scara, may I call you Scara?” he asks.
“No” the guy tells him, but he simply doesn’t care.
“Right, Scara. Should we start the training or whatever?” he says, taking his bow out. “You know I have places to be and people to show off to. And I’m sure you’re quite busy yourself playing with your puppets. Has someone ever told you that you look like a puppeteer?” he says, and Scaramouche rolls his eyes.
“By the Archons, you’re the most insufferable person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting” he says and Ajax smiles.
“Yeah, well the feeling is mutual, Kid” and he thrills on the way that angers him even more. “Let’s fight, let me show you how much better than you I am” and that seems to set him off.
“Oh, you’re gonna regret you said that” and, to be honest, Ajax can’t wait to find out if he’s right.
In hindsight, maybe Ajax shouldn’t have been so cocky about it, because sure, he might’ve been better than anybody else in the Headquarters until that moment, but for some reason, he did think he stood a chance against one of the superiors. Of course, he’d been embarrassingly wrong, because the second they stepped into the training grounds, he was thrown on the floor and Scaramouche didn’t even let him stand up before he was down on the ground again.
He was strong in a way that it didn’t seem natural, the electricity surging off his blade almost felt as they came from the Archon of Electro herself.
“Next time, watch your mouth before you embarrass yourself again” Scaramouche had said before he walked out of the room; Ajax still on the floor, trying to recover, but even though he’d lost the fight so clearly, the thrill of the battle itself was enough to have him smiling as every bit of his body ached.
This was what he was after, a fighting partner that would challenge him, that would make him work for it.
And sure, he might’ve overestimated himself and walked into the battle a bit too relaxed, but he won’t make the same mistake next time.
And one day, Scaramouche will be the one laying on the floor as he walks out.
For now, though, he should go heal his wounds and wash up, because he’s all bloody and gross.
There’s still a smile on his face as he walks out of the room, aching pretty much everywhere, but it was worth it to him.
“I heard you got your ass kicked today, Childe” someone has the nerve to tell him in the training practice when he clearly could wipe them all off with just a glance. But Ajax thinks it’s funny that they find it amusing, because if he couldn’t stand a chance against Scaramouche, he doubts either of them would even have the courage to dare him in battle.
“Oh, well, I’m sure you know how it feels, don’t you?” he smiles at him, the room breaking out in ooohhs that oddly please him, too. “It was my first time, and I intend it to be my last, but I doubt you can relate to that” he continues as he cleans his bow.
“Fucking brat” he hears even though he’s sure that the guy didn’t intend him to, and he smirks.
“What, wanna try it for yourself? See if now that someone kicked my ass, you’ll be able to? Because I’m down” he says, standing up, even though he’s still slightly in pain from the fight earlier, their healing methods here only doing so much.
There’s silence that follows that, and if Ajax dared him was because he knew that he would say no.
And no answer is considered also a negative in his books, so he chuckles, nodding.
“That’s what I thought” and he goes back to cleaning his arrows, and the rest of the people in the room go back to whatever is that they were doing before the confrontation.
And maybe it’s because he’s had a taste of a bigger and better opponent, but he gets bored easily hitting targets. He needs more, almost like those drunkards in the tavern back home that always asked for another glass of beer or wine even though they were halfway from the floor already.
Is he addicted to fighting? That could explain it. But he thinks he’ll always be in search for the biggest, most dangerous opponent ever, until they end him. That’s his goal, fight the worst enemy possible.
And he’ll keep improving so that, when the day comes, he might rise victorious and become the strongest soldier in all Teyvat.
Maybe then, he could go back home to his family and not feel like a monster, or maybe that feeling will never change, no matter where he goes.
He ends up leaving the practice room not too long after he got there, needing something more.
He wonders where people like Scaramouche train. What was the name they used, Harbingers? He doubts they improve their skills in the same room as the commoners with no vision nor real talent for fighting.
So, he starts to wonder through the hallways of this palace, going into every room that’s got the door open, and unsurprisingly, not many are. Ajax assumes most of those are private dormitories or places where he’s not allowed to go into, which only intrigues him more.
And he’s trying to open one of the doors when suddenly, someone sees him, and maybe it was the person he wanted to see the least, or the most.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he hears, turning around to find Scaramouche at the end of the hallway, wearing an odd hat that makes Ajax laugh for some reason.
“Coming back from a parade? What in the Archon’s name is that?” he asks, hitting one of the dangly things that fall from the hat, regretting it just a little bit when he feels the surge of electricity run through him.
“Want round two already? You looked dumb enough, but I didn’t think you’d actually have a death wish” Scaramouche says, removing the hat. His hair is a bit messed up from it and Ajax almost reaches out to fix it, but he stops himself before he can.
“I don’t” Ajax says, but he doesn’t quite believe it himself. “I was just looking for a place to train where I could test my abilities better”
“Oh, is the training room not enough for you?” Scaramouche asks, and his tone is mocking, but Ajax just nods. It’s not enough for him at all. “Oh, well, I’m sure that someone can build a new one just for you, Childe. Would that make you feel better, you spoiled brat?” and Childe just chuckles.
“Actually, it would, thank you so much for suggesting it!” and the fury in the other boy’s eyes is so evident that Ajax fears they might fight again right here in the middle of the hallway.
“You think you’re so special, aren’t you? God, there’s nothing I hate more than entitled kids that think they deserve special treatment. You’re not special. Just because you probably were born with a silver spoon shoved up your ass doesn’t mean the world owes you anything” and that makes Ajax stop smiling, it makes him clench his fists and his gaze turns dark.
“Shut up before I make you” he says and this time it’s Scaramouche’s turn to laugh.
“Make me? That’s bold, considering how you ate the floor a few hours ago claiming you could beat me” he says. “Look, there’s no special room for you to train, newcomers all train there, you’re luckier than most because you get a Harbinger to train you, so unless you’d like to lose that privilege, and trust me, I wish you could, I suggest you stop asking for trouble” and Ajax is still mad, wanting nothing more than punching him in the face.
“But what if I want more?” he asks, suddenly feeling as if his vision changed from hydro to pyro from how hot his blood feels running through his veins.
“Then I suggest you do us all a favor and get the fuck out of here and look for it somewhere else” Scaramouche shrugs. “Now, if you excuse me, you’re standing in front of my room, and I’d like to get some rest. Kicking your ass was quite exhausting and I need to gain strength to do it again tomorrow, if you stick around” and with that, he opens the door that Ajax had tried to open earlier and slams it in his face.
And Ajax thinks that, just to spite him, he’s going to stay and keep causing trouble.
So, he knocks on his door unceasingly until he opens it, clearly annoyed.
“What?” he asks when he sees him. Ajax smiles wide.
“Fuck you. Also, I’m staying” and with that he starts to walk away, hearing the exasperated groan from his mentor.
“God, you’re such a child” he says, and Ajax smiles.
“Yeah, that’s my name, don’t wear it out” he turns around and winks at him before he turns around the corner and heads back downstairs.
It’s oddly satisfying to argue with him, and Ajax heads back to his room thinking of ways to annoy him next.
As he drowns another drink, he can’t stop thinking about what Scaramouche said earlier, about him growing up spoiled and with a silver spoon, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.
He grew up with three older siblings and three youngers. He was in the middle of all of them, his eldest siblings always getting along so well and his youngest too.
Funnily enough, he always got along the best with Teucer, who was the last one to arrive and who he helped take care off because, by the time he was born, the eldest three had left the house, and his parents worked extra hours to make sure there was enough food in the table for all of them.
There still wasn’t, most nights, which meant they had to share, prioritizing the youngest to make sure they grew up healthy.
That’s why Ajax had to learn how to hunt from an early age, because sometimes there just wasn’t enough, so he’d run away, bow in hand to find a wild boar big enough that would feed the entire family.
His mother never liked him doing that, said it wasn’t his job to take care of the family, that he was the son, and he was the one that had to be taken care of, but he never listened.
It was his family, too. He couldn’t just sit by and watch as his siblings cried from how hungry they were.
He knew that, when he was born, his older siblings did the same for him, give out rations of food so that he’d eat. Unfortunately, he never got to thank them for that. He wonders where they are now since it’s been years since the last time that he saw them.
But at least the little ones grew up well, at least he helped them and, with what he’s doing now, he’ll be able to send money back home to help and get them nice food, nice clothes and to ease his parent’s worries, because they’re getting older every day even if he hates to see it, and there are just some things that they can’t do anymore.
So, nothing like a silver spoon, all the silver he had were his arrowheads to make sure they pierced through the skin of his prey, and even those most of the time were just iron or stone.
He wonders how his family is. Should he write them a letter or is it too soon? Considering he never told them where he was headed, they have no way to tell where he is, but if he writes one and they see that he’s still within the country, he fears they’d come get him somehow. And he doesn’t want that.
But he doesn’t want them to think that he forgot about them, either. Especially not the little ones.
He made sure to memorize all of their habits, all their expressions and features, so that when he comes back, if ever, he can recognize them, even though they’ll probably have grown up to be young men and woman.
He wonders if Anthon and Teucer will look like him when they grow older, Teucer already being the living image of Ajax himself. And he wonders if Tonia will look like Alexandra, their other only sister.
He takes another sip of his beer and groans. Maybe he should’ve ordered some dandelion wine instead, imported from the city of wind itself. Next time.
“Are you old enough to drink?” he hears suddenly, turning around to see the bane of his existence. And the reason for his crisis, too.
“I could ask you the same thing” he says, looking back at his half-empty glass. Or half-full, but he’s never been very optimistic.
“I think I told you I’m older than you already” Scaramouche says, sitting next to him, and it’s only when Ajax frowns that he sighs. “This is the only vacant spot, unfortunately” and when he turns around, he sees that he’s right. Well, fate seems to be laughing at him.
“You did say that, but until I see proof, I’m still going to believe you’re the same age as my younger brother” and he regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth.
“Oh, you’ve got a brother?” Scaramouche asks, and it should sound casual, it should be fine, but Ajax hasn’t come this far to protect his family just to blurt it out to the first (and most dangerous) person he sees. But it’s there now, at least he doesn’t know he’s got four, and two sisters. “I pity him, if he learned his ways from you, he must be—˝
“I will put an arrow through you if you finish that sentence” he threatens him, and for once, Scaramouche must tell that he’s serious, because he stops talking.
“I’m sorry” and Ajax is surprised to hear that. Mostly because he didn’t think that the other boy was capable of apologizing ever. “I went too far with that; your brother isn’t to blame for the fact that you’re an entitled asshole” and there it is. Ajax can’t help but let out a chuckle at that.
“Should’ve known you didn’t actually mean it” he says, finishing the beer. “And to answer your question, yes, I am old enough to drink” he says, even though he’s aware that the other boy probably knew that, because if he is old enough to join the Fatui, drinking should come with the territory, too.
“Doesn’t mean you should, though” and he notices then that, even though he’s sat there with him by the bar, he hasn’t ordered anything yet.
“And why not?” Ajax asks, arching a brow. It’s the only thing that he can do here to take his mind off everything that doesn’t involve him fighting anyone. Scaramouche just shrugs. “Aw, Scara, are you perhaps worried about me? Your little disciple?”
“I told you not to call me that” he rolls his eyes.
“I know, that’s why I’m doing it” he smirks. “Besides, your name is too long. Don’t you have a short version or whatever? I can offer you the ‘Kid’ one, though.” and the glance he shoots at him is sharper than his arrows. It makes him chuckle.
“You know what, forget it, get drunk and have a headache tomorrow for practice. It’ll be easier to beat you, not that it’s hard when you’re fully sober” he says. “But just… be careful who you talk to while you’re drunk. Not everyone here will have your best intention at heart” he says, standing up and ready to go, even though he didn’t even order anything.
“Do you?” Ajax asks, holding his gaze as Scaramouche straightens his clothes, but he leaves before he responds, which leaves Ajax wondering for the rest of the night before he heads back to his room. Suddenly afraid to trust anyone, and not sure if he should trust Scaramouche either for telling him that.
Maybe he just wants him to be alone and miserable like him, it’s a possibility.
But just in case, he heads to his room, closes the door, his head spinning a little from the drinks he had and takes out a piece of paper and starts writing a letter to his family that he’ll probably never send.
Dearest Family,
It’s me, Ajax. I hope you’re doing well! I’m fine, work at the toy factory is very easy so far since I’m still being trained to know what to do. I miss you all very dearly, but I know I will see you again soon! And I will bring home some gifts and money to help out.
I hope the snow isn’t too cruel this season and that dad doesn’t have a hard time with the hunts and fishing. Wish I could join!
Don’t let the kids play in the snow for too long, whenever you’re gone for the day, they always liked to play outside but it’s dangerous when the temperature drops.
Anyway, send my love to Alexandra, Timo, and Andrei if you hear from them soon.
Take care. I will write again soon.
Love,
Ajax
He puts down the pen and folds the paper in half, putting it under the mattress so it’s safe. Maybe he can send it in a few weeks, or send them many letters at once, even though that defeats the purpose of them being a constant update, if they all come at the same time.
But he can worry about that tomorrow because exhaustion is coming onto him quite quick after the day he’s had, and he knows tomorrow won’t be much different, but he’s ready for it.
He dreams of home and warm hugs in cold nights. Dreams of four small bodies in an even smaller bed on days when the storms kept them from going to fetch wood to warm them up. Dreams of the day he got his vision, the tears that he thought were a manifestation of his hydro power and not a response to the pain he felt at the moment.
And he wakes up in cold sweat, reaching out to hold his siblings, but they’re not there, of course they’re not. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, feeling it damped from the sweat and feeling gross, so he gets out of bed and heads towards the showers, knowing no one will be now at that hour.
The sun is still hidden, which means the whole world must be asleep except for him. He doesn’t mind much, the loneliness of the corridors is welcome to him, the coldness of the stone against his bare feet as he heads towards the showers, and the contrast of the scorching water when it hits his skin. He hisses, moving away slightly before he gets under it again and washes up.
But there’s still an odd feeling inside him, uncomfortable as if someone was watching him. Maybe he’s still a bit drunk from a few hours ago, maybe he should just hurry up and go back to bed, and he intends to do that, but he suddenly clashes against another body on his way out.
“Shit, I’m sorry” he says, and his headache gets worse when he looks up and sees who it is.
“No need to apologize” her voice says, enchanting, making Childe feel a bit sick. “Why are you out of bed at this hour? Couldn’t sleep? Looking for company?” and he feels cold suddenly, from head to toe.
“Just heading to bed now” he says, but she grasps his arm to stop him.
“Want me to keep you company?” she asks, and there’s a voice inside his head that’s telling him yes, yes, yes. As if it was a spell. And Ajax can’t seem to fight it.
“Let him go, Signora” and suddenly, the spell is gone, and he almost falls to the ground, knees weak when the woman’s gaze turns somewhere else.
“Oh, look who’s here” she says, and Ajax can’t see anything, not really. But he did recognize the voice. “What do you want, Scaramouche? We’re just talking here; I’m not going to pervert your little protégé”
“I don’t think you were, Signora. I can feel your magic from here” and Ajax is just very confused and very dizzy. And the woman tsks her tongue and shakes her head.
“You’re no fun” and she turns around to look at Ajax again, that’s still leaning against the wall to support his weight and smiles. “Maybe next time” and with that, she disappears into what looks to be a cloud of smoke, and before his knees give out, Scaramouche is there.
“Hey, hey” he says, slapping his face to keep him conscious.
“Ouch, asshole” Ajax says, because he was. Just dizzy, but most definitely conscious.
“That’s what you say to the man who just saved your life? You’re welcome, I guess” he says, and is about to step away, but Ajax holds his arm and keeps him close.
“I—Thank you” he says, gulping.
“I warned you, didn’t I? Not to drink” Scaramouche says and sighs. “Come on, let’s go to your room” and starts walking, hand around Ajax’s waist, helping him keep his balance.
“I didn’t—I mean, I did, but I wasn’t there right now” he tries to tell him and feels how the other boy turns to look at him with a frown. “I was in bed, had a nightmare and went to shower, and next thing I know, she was there”
“In the shower?” Scaramouche says, and he shivers at the thought.
“No, not in—Fuck, why would you say that?” He says and hears the slight chuckle from the other boy as if this was anything but purely disturbing.
“Because that’s how it sounded” he says. “So, you mean, you weren’t together before that? I assumed he enchanted you in the bar and were heading back to your room” and Ajax shakes his head.
“I left not long after you, feeling uncomfortable and… yeah, I sort of felt like that until you appeared now” he explains as they get to Ajax’s dormitory. Scaramouche seems to be deep in thought. “Why did she listen to you? I thought she was like the boss here” and that does make the other boy laugh.
“Well, if you thought her as the boss, you can think of me as the king” and Ajax’s frown seems to be evergreen. “I’m higher in ranks than her, which is why she listened.” and that does surprise him.
“Are you number one?” he asks, but Scaramouche shakes his head. “Two?”
“All you need to know is I’m higher than her, and that if she tries this or something similar again, I’ll do something about it” and that does something to Ajax’s stomach, or maybe it’s the whole event making him feel a bit sick.
“Be careful, someone might think you care about me” he tells him and, even in the darkness of the hallway, he can see that he rolled his eyes at him. “What were you doing out of bed, anyway?”
“None of your business” is what he tells him, opening the door and pushing him inside. “Lock the door and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow” and he closes the door for him, Ajax turning the lock as he told him to and gets into bed, still chilled to the bone about what happened, but an unfamiliar feeling of electricity running through him for some reason.
And this time, when he sleeps, he doesn’t dream.