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Playing Valorant for hours on end wasn’t uncommon for Sapnap and Punz. What was even more common though was them bickering back and forth both on and off stream. This night was just like the rest.
Sapnap was whining in the voice chat for Punz and him to do something and the only thing Punz could think of was Valorant.
They had both become obsessed quickly after the games release in 2020 so, it was natural that they would bond over and play it together. This did not mean things were always okay afterwards.
Sometimes the arguments got a little too real and a little to filled with ill-intent. Punz was pretty good at taking whatever Sap threw at him, knowing most of it was just simply untrue but Sapnap was not like Punz. He often got hurt by the blondes’ words, opting to stay as quiet as he can when Punz would say something a little too mean.
Sapnap was not sensitive per se but, he did not always take too kindly to criticism. It was his tragic flaw, at least in his eyes but, no. He was not sensitive. He took things with a grain of salt most of the time. Punz was just a jerk sometimes and Sapnap didn’t like that. Plus, Punz has gotten mad over things Sap has said before, he just doesn’t show it as much.
When the fighting did get a little heated, the boys would choose to end the call they were in and not speak the rest of the night. Not as if they were mad but more so because they wanted time to cool off. It was just easier that way. They didn’t have to talk about it the next morning or anything, they both knew it was just the other being ‘toxic’ because of the game. It wasn’t real malice or anything.
One-time Sapnap drew it too far though was soon after Punz had taken a small break from streaming. This wasn’t uncommon for the older boy to do, often wanting time for his mental health because being a content creator didn’t do him well in that area. He was feeling much better, tweeting out that he would likely be streaming soon enough for the fans to flock to their mutuals and rave about it.
Punz @Punztw · 5m
hey guys, I know I’ve been gone for a little bit but, I think I’m gonna stream tomorrow night! I have been reading a lot of your tweets and you guys are so nice to me its crazy <3 love you all
Sapnap @sapnapalt · 3m
Replying to @Punztw
WOOOOOO LETS GO MY STREAMER IS BACK!! CAN’T WAIT BABYBOY;)
“I actually hate you oh my God” No malice behind those words as Punz calls through his mic.
Sap and Punz have been on call for about an hour before Punz tweeted.
“You could never, nobody else puts up with your shit” Sap bites back. They have been bickering like this all night but again, who doesn’t with their best friend? There was a beat of silence and then laughter lighting up both icons on discord.
“Why do you always call me baby boy on twitter dude, like I’m older and taller than you”
“I don’t see how you being old and a fuckin’ tree have anything to do with that statement. You’re a baby so it fits” Sapnap always had a witty comment back when asked about the baby boy thing.
God why does he have to do that? It gets me every fucking time man. What if he called me that in person… that would be ni- no. He calls Dream the same thing. He doesn’t want you. Christ sakes.
“Bro you good? You’re quiet. Don’t tell me that actually upsets you” Punz is pulled from his thoughts as they younger boys whines through his headphones.
“Nah I’m good, just zoned out.” Punz sighs. He doesn’t like to admit it to anyone but Foolish but, he may have a small crush on Sapnap. It started as something innocent but, after mornings of hearing his voice from just waking up and listening to him get super excited about little things, Punz couldn’t help but fall. The boy was endearing in the sweetest ways.
“If you say so. Load up Valo, we’re running this shit” Punz laughs at the brunet’s enthusiasm. Sap was always willing to run whatever game he could think of so long as Punz would play with him. Punz would always say yes, even getting out of bed or closing files he was working on just to amuse the younger.
Punz was weak for Sapnap. His heart ached for the boy to love him but, he just fought on through the days hoping this mindless crush would go away.
The boys had been playing for about an hour before the fighting properly started. Before then it was little jabs thrown out when the other would die but, they were lighthearted in nature. Nothing to be hurt over.
The team wasn’t doing badly but, both boys were competitive so even one loss was a shame to them.
“C’mon dude, you’re fucking throwing the game, you suck. Go back to speedrunning Minecraft or something. At least maybe you’ll be good at something” That hurt a little bit, Punz won’t lie but, he always knew Sap didn’t really mean it. He’s just frustrated. Punz brushes it off, barking back with a similar insult.
As they continue playing, Punz feels like he’s starting to get more upset at the things Sap is saying but, this one for sure took the cake.
“Aw, you gonna cry about it bitch? Gonna take another break cause it’s easier than admitting you’re dogshit at Valo Huh?”
Silence from Punz is louder than anything he could have said back. Shuffling is heard from Punz’ end of the call and a barely-audible sniffle comes through
“Punz… I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what came ov-“
“Don’t”
Just like that Punz ends the call. He’s crying before it registers to him, and he feels like shit. It didn’t hurt as much any other time something was called out to him. He was able to laugh off everything else but, Punz’ mental health was always something he kept from most others. Sap and Foolish were the only ones that really saw that side of him.
The raw and broken-down version of Punz that he never let come out during the day. If he was feeling like that, he stayed in bed until he felt better. There was nothing else he could do. He had to be strong for his followers and he couldn’t let his friends or family see that side. Sapnap saw it all. Sapnap has heard Punz sob over nearly nothing and groan at the thought of getting out of bed but, he never judged Punz for it. Maybe that was why it hurt so much.
That was something he gave to Sapnap. The ability to see Punz like that. He saw Punz’ pain truer than anyone else. Even more than Foolish. Sapnap had become the one he talked to about these things the most. Sap always seemed to get what Punz was talking about even when he couldn’t find the words at the time. Sapnap was always there for him.
Maybe that’s another reason Punz fell for him. He was always there. No matter what fight they had the night before or even the hour before, if they needed each other, the other jumped at the chance. Mental health was already hard for men to talk about given that society thinks they aren’t to have issues on the account of being men but, Sapnap made it easy.
It wasn’t a topic they poked at each other for. It was a silently agreed upon thing to negate talking about it but, nonetheless here Punz is, crying in his bed in the dark wishing Sapnap would just call him back, or text him, or show up. Whatever to make Punz feel better. Just a glimmer of hope in his heart to make him stop crying.
Silence rings through Punz’ apartment. There’s no use in crying over this. It kind of just proves the point that he’s a baby.
This is why he doesn’t want you. Dream can take a joke. George can take a joke. Christ any other guy in our friend group can take a fucking joke. All except Punz. Punz has to be a cry baby over a stupid comment over a stupid game. Fuck Valorant anyways. It’s dumb and I hate it.
He rolls over in bed to check his phone.
Nothing.
It was to be expected. Punz and Sap would be fine in the morning. It wasn’t more than Sapnap giving Punz time to cool off. Just like usual.
A knock at the door pulls him from his thoughts. Groaning, he gets out of bed. The fluorescent lights of the kitchen hurt his eyes a little bit. They were still red and little puffy from crying. Who cares though, its not anyone important at the door, probably some neighbour wanting sugar or something.
He opens the door and is met with the brunet, desperation in his eyes.
“Sapn- uh, what’re you doing here?” Punz can’t help but sound confused.
“I jus- uh, I uhm…I wanted to make sure you were okay”
Why did he come all the way across town just to see if I was okay? He could have texted me…
Punz welcomes the younger inside and closes the door. He’s immediately pulled into a hug he can only describe as pure happiness.
“Sap, I’m okay, I promise. I was just being sensitive. I’m – we’re good.” Punz tries reassuring, knowing the boy had probably started overthinking the minute the call hung up.
“No, I shouldn’t have said what I did and I’m sorry” The sentence comes out muffled and from the face pressed against Punz’ chest. He can’t help but feel his heart pound and his cheeks warm up.
“Don’t worr-“The hug abruptly ends.
“It was wrong of me to bring up something like that dude. I can’t risk losing you over something like that. We both agreed to not bring those types of things up and I did. I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t have you by my side.”
Punz was stunned. There was something more than platonic in the way Sapnap said that just then. There was more passion in those words than anything Punz has ever said to an ex.
Butterflies in his stomach flutter.
“I don’t want to lose you either Sap. I’ll be okay. It just hurt a little is all. I’m not going anywhere, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you”
Sapnap mumbles something but Punz doesn’t hear it.
“What’d you say?”
“Nah, it’s nothing. Let’s just hang out and watch a movie, that sounds nice right?” The brunet tries to walk away but Punz grabs his hand.
“It wasn’t nothing, what did you say Sap…please?” Punz whines. Much like the blonde, Sapnap has a hard time telling Punz no.
Sapnap lets out a loud, frustrated sigh.
“I said there is something I could do or say to make you leave” He’s shy. Punz doesn’t hear this tone of voice from Sap often but, it’s cute to say the least. It makes him feel like Sap thinks he’s glass and if he speaks to loud, he’ll crack.
Punz motions for him to continue and suddenly Sap is closer. Much closer than he’s ever been before.
“Are you sure you want me to continue? Once I do it, there’s no going back” The shorter boy tries to reason. Punz is having none of it.
“Do or say whatever it is idiot. I said there was noth- “Sapnap pulls Punz in for a gentle kiss.
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. He’s kissing me.
They pull apart and Sapnap pushes away slightly, preparing to be kicked out. Punz stays in a silent daze, trying to pull any other thoughts from his head other than Sapnap.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- fuck. I don’t know why I thought I could-… I’m sorry Punz” He starts for the door before Punz grabs his waist and pulls him back in for another kiss.
“You have no idea how long I have waited for this moment. Every laugh, every smile, even every insult has drawn me closer to you. Has made me want to do this more and more. I was scared to confront it but, holy fuck I’m so glad you did.” Punz is breathless. He’s floating on clouds and singing with angels. There is nowhere else he would rather be.
“Punz, I want you to be mine”
“You’re all I wanted and more Sap. All I need to be happy” Another kiss is shared before the pair walk over to the couch holding hands.
They cuddle up and start watching a movie, Sapnap mindlessly running his fingers through Punz’ hair.
“All mine” Punz cuddles in closer.
“All yours Babyboy, all I ever wanted to be”