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Pat can’t quite pinpoint the moment he knows, but it happens like this:
One day, as they’re lying on the rooftop balcony of their apartment, Pat’s head on Pran’s stomach as they’re just still, silent, fingers intertwined as they simply exist in the other’s company, Pat glances at Pran and he knows he cannot ever envision something but this for them.
He smiles, a small one this time, the corners of his lips pulled up slightly as he moves their combined hands to kiss the back of Pran’s hand.
“What?” His boyfriend asks, smiling back at him.
“Nothing. I just love you.”
“I love you too.”
Pat loves this domestic bliss, the ease of it all. How, after years of lying and hiding and sneaking around, everyone knows now, and everyone accepts them. Even their parents, though it took them years to get there.
In fact, it’s been several months now, close to a year, since Pat entered the neighbouring house through the front door for the first time and had dinner with Pran and both his parents.
Pran had just moved back from Singapore, moved in with Pat.
Dissaya had cooked her signature dish that Pran had told him about, and Pat had been transported back to the memory of the day on the beach during their trip to the zero waste village, when he’d asked Pran what they would do if their families weren’t enemies.
It’s late when they stumble to bed, tired after working all day but tomorrow’s the weekend, which means they’ll finally have some time to themselves again.
That is, unless their friends decide to drag them out for drinks at the bar that’s now Korn’s and Wai’s.
---
The planning starts like this:
“I need your help,” Pat tells Wai at the bar the next day.
“With what?” Wai asks, and Pat thinks Wai appears suspicious, which, okay, fair even after all these years.
“I’m planning a surprise for Pran. I don’t, I can’t tell anyone yet because I don’t want him to figure it out but you know him almost as well as me and I could use a second opinion. Just… not yet.”
“Okay?” Wai looks at him funny, and Pat knows he’s being weird, weirder than usual but it doesn’t feel right to reveal it yet.
“Thank you!” I’ll let you know soon as I can!” Pat walks away, not allowing Wai the chance to ask more questions or to deny him.
Not that Wai agreed, not really, but Pat takes what he can.
---
The planning goes like this:
“I think we need at least two guest rooms,” Pran says.
“Why? Can’t they all just stay in the same room?”
“You know Korn and Louis snores. I’ve had enough complaints from Wai about Korn falling asleep after work while still at the bar. We can’t put them all in one place if we want to keep them from fighting. Or try to strangle them in their sleep. No, we need at least two rooms.”
“Fine,” Pat concedes. “But I want to use those bunk beds that can be folded up so we can have storage or sofas or something when they’re not in use.”
“Deal.”
Pat’s phone rings then, displaying Korn’s name.
“Speak of the devil,” Pat says, answering. “Hey, we were just talking about you.”
“Hey, why didn’t you tell me about your plan? Am I your best friend or not?” Korn asks, not even bothering to reply to Pat.
Shit.
“I’ll take this in the other room,” he says to Pran, covering the speaker so he can’t hear Korn. “Leave you to your drawings.”
“Asshole,” Pran says, flipping him off even as there’s a smile threatening to break out. “It’s our future house we’re talking about here!”
“I love you!” Pat says loudly, then leaves the room and closes the door behind him as he sits on the bed.
“Hello? Pat! Don’t you dare ignore me!”
“I’m not!” Pas hisses. “What plan?”
“Oi, don’t you try that on me. Korn told me last night as we were closing.”
“Fuck.”
“Yes, fuck. Now why didn’t you tell me you plan to propose to Pran? I want in. You know you’re gonna need my help with this, so why did you go to Wai first?”
“One, because he’s Pran’s best friend. Apart from me. And two, because I can’t trust you to not tell anyone! You know how you get when you’re drunk dude.”
“That was one time!” Korn retorts, sounding offended.
“Actually, five times during the last year of uni alone.”
“That was then.”
“Uhu.”
“Come on, man, let me help with the planning!”
“Fine. But the only part is picking out the ring. I’m not making a big deal out of this, nothing public or grand.”
“Good. I’d kick your ass if you did something like that,” Korn says. “You might know Pran better than the rest of us but it’s clear he wouldn’t want that.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Pat says dryly. “Seriously though, I’m glad you care. Thank you.”
“Dude, of course I wanna be a part of it when my best friend’s getting engaged! Just tell me what to do.”
“Don’t talk to anyone but Wai and me about it. And I’ll text you where and when to meet us to look at rings. That’s all.”
-
“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Korn asks the next day as they meet at the mall.
Pat had told Pran he’d meet up with Korn for lunch and do some brainstorming. It’s a good excuse, as they’re both engineers and Pat and Pran are trying to make their house eco-friendly.
So it’s not a complete lie. Pat is, in fact, having lunch with both Korn and Wai, and he does have some questions to ask Korn about the design they’re working on as well as elements that can be implemented. Which is a good thing, both because Pat hates lying to Pran, even about a surprise like this, and because it’s different to brainstorm with someone who has the same education.
“Something simple, but personal. Like a ruby on one and a sapphire on the other.”
“Our faculty colours,” Wai nods. “Good choice.”
“One ring for each of you then?” Korn asks.
“I want to wear one too. I know we haven’t had to hide ourselves for a while now, but I want to show it off. Make it real in a physical way.”
“You’re such a sap,” Korn teases, but he grins and wraps his arm around Pat’s shoulder, beginning to lead them to a place where they can eat. “Lunch first, so you don’t make a stupid mistake on an empty stomach.”
“And here I thought he brought us to keep him from making one,” Wai muses.
Pat ruffles his hair and laughs when Wai tries to straighten it at once. They’ve been friends for a while now, not too long after Wai came to accept them and be let in on their pretend breakup, but it still feels good to be able to joke like this, to touch him like any other friend without fear of the answer of Wai’s fists.
“I brought Wai to help me choose a design Pran will like,” Pat admits. “I brought you to keep you from spilling the secret.”
They don’t have exactly what Pat is looking for, but he chooses the design of the ring and the settings, and notes down their ring sizes. It will be some time before the rings are finished, but since the designs are equal except the type of stone as well as simplistic, it will take less than a month.
-
Pat doesn’t have a plan, exactly, for when to do it, because he knows he’ll know when the moment will be right.
In the end, it solves itself, when they get a message from Uncle Tong inviting them to Junior’s graduation party. It’s perfect, really, because as much as Pat wants it to be a spur-of-the-moment thing, he also wants it to be in a place that’s connected to them.
He’d thought about the rooftop of their old dorm, where they’d had their first kiss; a place that had belonged to them after that as well. But Pran is perceptive, and having brought him there would have been obvious and Pat doesn’t want Pran to guess that he’s going to propose; it has to be a surprise.
Once they’ve confirmed with Uncle Tong that they’ll be there, Pat sends a group text to Korn, Wai and Pa.
‘
We’re going to the village in two weeks for Junior’s graduation. Let Ink, Mo, Chang, Louis and Safe know. If you’re taking the bus, be sure to get on the one after ours; I’ll update you with the one we’re taking, and talk to Uncle Tong about finding a place for you to stay
.’
The string of messages back with ‘you got this!’, ‘we’ll be there to celebrate!’ and ‘congratulations!’ makes Pat turn off his phone because it’s vibrating to the point where Pran looks up from his latest edition of a sketch for their house to find out what’s going on.
“Just a spam caller, I forgot to block them last time. Now, I was thinking about that rooftop terrace. What about a plant wall on this side connected to the rainwater collection system? We could grow herbs. Or maybe a moss wall?”
------
It goes like this:
They’re on the beach, seated next to the boat where they made their bet all those years ago, the best bet they ever made. It’s good to be back, to celebrate Junior’s graduation, but it’s even better to relax away from everyone for a bit.
“I like it here,” Pran says, moving to kiss Pat’s hair, as his boyfriend is resting his head on his shoulder. “Do you regret not staying back then?”
“Sometimes,” Pat admits, and Pran isn’t surprised; he’s had those thoughts himself. “But you were right; we needed to go back. And it all worked out, didn’t it?”
Pran chuckles.
“Are you really sure?” he teases, laughing when Pat smacks him playfully. “I’m joking.”
“I know,” Pat says, sticking his tongue out at him, because Pat will always have that childish, playful side to him. “It was for the better; I doubt working for Uncle Yod would have allowed us to make enough to design and build our own house.”
“Being paid in beer wasn’t good enough for you then?”
“Hmmm…” Pat says, pretending to think about it. “No. Your kisses were though.”
“Were? Are you saying I’m not good enough for you any longer?”
Pat pulls back to look at him, a faux pondering look on his face.
“I don’t know? Why don’t you kiss me and I’ll let you know?”
“You’re insatiable,” Pran says, rolling his eyes but he leans in to kiss his boyfriend either way, because yes, while it’s true, and it’s taken a long time for Pran to be comfortable with public displays of affection, he has gotten better. Besides, there’s no one else around.
“Pot, kettle,” Pat points at each of them in turn once he pulls away. “Especially after last night.”
“Are you saying you didn’t enjoy it? Because I seem to remember you very much did,” Pran grins at Pat, knowing the power he holds over him in such matters, loving how Pat’s eyes darken at his words.
“I can’t help it when my boyfriend’s so hot,” Pat excuses himself, trying to kiss him again, but Pran pulls away and stands up.
“I’m headed back to grab something you drink, you want anything?”
“Haven’t you forgotten something?” Pat asks, smiling all innocently at him, and the shift is so sudden it almost throws Pran off-guard.
Pran begins patting his pockets out of pure habit, finding the item seconds later.
“See? I don’t know why you keep thinking I’m forgetting it. I haven’t in a long time. Besides, I don’t need them now.”
“Are you sure?” Pat asks, “check again.”
“Pat, I have it here, look!” Pran pulls the small pouch out of his pocket and hangs it around his neck. “I told you.”
“Look inside.”
“You won’t let me be until I do, will you?”
“No,” Pat says, and while he appears to be his usual self, Pran can tell something’s off, that Pat seems… well, nervous.
“Fine,” Pran says, rolling his eyes, curious and nervous himself due to Pat’s behaviour. “Wait, Pat, this isn’t…”
“Surprise,” Pat says, sinking to one knee in front of Pran, and oh, oh,
oh
.
Pran’s fingers are shaking, but he manages to open the box without dropping it. There are two rings inside, one slightly larger than the other, and oh, of course, it’s because Pat wants to wear one too, wants to show everyone they’re both taken, and that neither of them is considered the ‘wife’ or ‘woman’ in their relationship.
He’s crying, and when he looks at Pat, he’s crying too and so Pran sinks to one knee as well, and instead of answering with words, because he know he can’t do this properly now, knows his voice will fail him, so he takes out the slightly larger ring and places in on Pat’s finger, handing over the box once that’s done so Pat can do the same to him.
The rings are simplistic and beautiful and Pat knows him all too well, Pran thinks, though it’s not a complaint. Upon closer inspection, through blurry eyes, Pran spots the smaller one has a sapphire set in the band, the other one with a ruby the same size.
When he pulls Pat into a kiss, it feels like their first one all over again, except they’re both crying from happiness and not from sadness and confusion. It feels like a new start, the start of a life full of love and promise and acceptance.
“Congratulations!” someone shouts.
Several someones in fact, as all their friends, as well as Pa and Ink come running up to them, and before Pran knows it, they’re enveloped in a group hug, the force behind it almost making them fall to the ground.
“Hey, I didn’t even get to ask!” Pat complains, muffled by everyone else, and they all laugh.
“Yes, Pat, of course I say yes.”
“See, I told you he would!” Wai adds and Pran’s heart is ready to burst from how far they’ve all come to reach this point. “Now pay up Korn; I told you Pran wouldn’t find out before Pat got to ask.”
“Wrong!” Korn shoots back from somewhere behind Pran. “He still hasn’t gotten to that part, which means
you
owe
me
!”
“Fuck, Pat, why couldn’t you do this properly? You know I hate owing Korn!”
“Not my fault you all came running that quick!”
“Oi, we thought you’d actually managed to get the words out first! We were too far away to hear what you were saying!” Wai argues, and Pran can’t help but laugh at their antics.
“Pat, will you marry me?” Pran asks, and their friends all fall silent.
Then there’s a series of mutters and groans about how someone told somebody else that Pran would get around to asking first.
“Baby, I was supposed to ask!” Pat says, but Pran knows it’s a joke. Mostly.
“Not my fault you couldn’t get the words out,” he says. “You still haven’t in fact. And it’s rude not to answer when I actually ask you.”
“Pran, baby, love of my life and former enemy and rival turned friend turned boyfriend, will you marry me?”
“Let me think about it.”
“Praaaaaan!”
“I’m just teasing. Of course I will.”
“Finally!” Someone, Mo maybe, says.
“Pay up!” someone else says, Ink this time.
“I hate you all,” Pat says, and the group descends into laughter.
-
“I hope you don’t mind that I invited them,” Pat says when they’re curled up in bed that night.
“Why would I? They’re our friends.”
“Yes, but not everyone wants to celebrate with others.”
“Pat, I’m glad you invited them. Today or tomorrow or a week from now, we would have done so either way. It was good to share it, after all the time we used to spend hiding it and sneaking around and feeling like we were wrong for feeling like we did. Like we still do.”
“I was just thinking about how I wanted to share everything but you weren’t ready, back then.”
“That was then. This is
now
,” Pran says with conviction, “and we haven’t had to hide in a long time. And it wasn’t just that, it wasn’t just that it was
you
, specifically, but that you’re a guy as well. It’s all out in the open now, we can share it with everyone.”
“And our parents?”
“Better to tell them when we’re home, in person. We can invite them over for dinner and show the plans for our new home. If we’re lucky, our dads will argue about who can give us a bigger discount on materials.”
“Do you think they would have travelled here if we asked?”
“Yeah, Pat, I do.”
It’s been a long day, celebrating Junior and their engagement, and it’s nice to just lie in bed and relax together.
“No complaints then?” Pat asks.
“Just one,” Pran says, kissing the junction between Pat’s neck and shoulder. “If we’d been alone, we could have celebrated just the two of us.”
It’s easy to change the kiss into a bite, just a small one, teeth against skin that won’t leave a mark for long, and Pran just stays like that for a moment, feeling Pat’s heartbeat stutter against their hands entangled over his chest.
“Who says we can’t now?” Pat asks, eager and awake and Pran loves this, loves the power he holds.
“I’m too tired,” Pran answers simply, and he can hear Pat’s pout before his fiancé turns his head and he can see it. “Besides, I don’t want to risk waking anyone. You’re not exactly the best at staying quiet.”
“You can’t blame me when my
fiancé
,” Pat smiles around the word, dopey and lovestruck, “Is so good at what he does.”
“Is he now?” Pran asks, “maybe you should be sure to let him know that then.”
“Praaaaan,” Pat whines. “You have to stop teasing me!”
“I thought you loved it when I did that?” Pran moves his hand out of Pat’s grasp and begins moving it down his chest, stopping right at the waistband of his boxers. “Are you sure you want me to stop?”
“You’re so mean,” Pat says, pouting at him as he turns his head. “Why are you so mean to your fiancé Pran?”
Pran dips his fingers just a little lower, barely under the band, closer but not close enough.
“Maybe I won’t be if you ask nicely.” He feels Pat shudder at the words.
“Please Pran? Can you please touch me? I promise to be quiet.”
“I am touching you,” Pran says, doing his best to sound nonchalant. “If you want me to move my hand you need to tell me where you want it. You can do that, can’t you?”
“Lower, please, I want your hand on me.”
Normally Pran would ask Pat to be specific, but today, he thinks, today Pat deserves some slack. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to drag it out later on, when they’re alone and aren’t staying in a house filled with other people who might wake up from their activities.
Pat’s member burns hot in his hand, hard already, and Pran kisses his shoulder, then begins to stroke him. Not too fast, because he doesn’t want it to end too soon, but he doesn’t want to drag it out for as long as he normally would.
“Wait,” Pat says moments later, voice a bit hoarse from trying to stay silent. “We do it together.”
He turns around, facing Pran, and seconds later one of Pat’s hands is on Pran’s dick, pumping in time with Pran’s hand.
“That’s better,” Pat says and smiles at him. “Now I can kiss you too.”
It’s an odd sensation at first, Pran thinks, the ring on Pat’s hand so noticable against his skin. While different, it feels good, and it adds another layer to what they’re doing, this quiet celebration between the two of them, sheltered from the world.
“I love you,” they both whisper at the same time, faces so close together they’re both seeing double, breaths fanning out and mingling between them.
They manage to stay silent, moving in for a kiss each time they’re close to being loud.
“Baby, I’m close,” Pat says at some point.
Pran doesn’t know how late it is, so lost in their little corner of the universe.
“Shhh baby, I got you, it’s okay,” Pran coos.
Pat pulls him in for a kiss, sloppy and wet, kissing him through his orgasm, one hand cradling the back of Pran’s head while the other pumps him faster.
It doesn’t take long for Pran to crest, moaning into Pat’s mouth as he does.
Such a simple thing, this, the gentle touches and slow movements, but it feels different in so many ways from all the other times they’ve done this. More intimate, in a way, from their new bond. They’re still the same Pat and Pran as they’ve always been, but there’s more to it now.
“Thank you,” Pat whispers against Pran’s skin.
“For what?”
“For being you. For saying yes.”
“I could never say no to you,” Pran admits, and it feels heavy, in a way. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Pat asks.
“For everything.”