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Belphegor swings your arm with uncharacteristic cheer as you stroll into the furniture store hand-in-hand. Leave it to the Avatar of Sloth to wake you up early, giddy like a child on Christmas morning, all because you’re going bed shopping today.
“We’re finally here, Belphie. You excited?”
Belphegor walks into your back and nuzzles his cheek into your neck. “I haven’t thought about anything else all week. What do you think?”
You chuckle nervously as a sales clerk comes towards you. “Hey, we’re in public, you know.”
Belphegor traps your arms to your sides with a squeeze. “Get used to it,” he murmurs before letting you go.
You whack his chest half heartedly with the back of your hand. You’ve been dating for a while, but it hasn’t been that long since you started being open about it, so you’re not used to public displays of affection, let alone outside the house. Even walking around holding hands still has a shimmering warmth to it. So does linking your arm in his and telling the sales clerk that you and your boyfriend are looking to purchase a bed. The clerk asks if you’ll be needing any help, but Belphegor puts up a hand in polite refusal.
“We know what we’re looking for, thanks.”
“Do we, now?”
“Well, I know what I’m looking for.” Belphegor flops down into the nearest bed with a childlike sigh of delight. You sit on the edge of the mattress and bounce up and down a little. Belphegor frowns. “You aren’t really going to test it like that, are you? Come lie down.”
You eye the space between your boyfriend and the edge of the bed.
“I don’t have any room.”
“Sure you do.”
“I’m testing the bed, not your chest.”
Belphegor frowns harder, playfully. “But that’s how you sleep,” he mumbles, rolling over anyway.
You smack his chest again as you settle in next to him. He grabs your hand before you can pull it away and rests it over his ribs.
“Can I have my hand back?”
“I don’t know, can you go a night without trapping my legs in your legs? Because that’s what you should be doing right now.”
You have nothing to say to that, so you let him keep your hand.
“What do you think?” you ask. “Comfy enough for the Lord of Sloth?”
“Maybe. Let’s try another.”
He crawls off the other side of the bed, keeping your hand and dragging you along as he climbs right into the next. He pulls you right over him, effectively draping you over his lap. Before you can even turn around, he pinches your butt.
“Hey!” You scramble to your knees and point a threatening finger in his face. “Stop that. We’re in public.”
“And you’re full of shit.” He swats your hand away as he sits up. “Don’t act like you don’t like it all of a sudden.”
“We’re in public , ” you reiterate.
“We’re in bed. ” He leans forward to press your foreheads together and pouts when you turn away. “Fine. This one isn’t soft enough anyway. Let’s try another.”
On the next bed, you and Belphegor lay on your sides, looking at one another with heads resting in your hands. You’re smiling and glaring at the same time as you pry his free hand off your waist again and again.
On the next bed, Belphegor lays flat on his back, tucks his hands behind his head, and says, “Hey, you should check if it’s soft enough for your knees.”
“For my knees?”
“You know, for when you-”
You have to press his hips into the mattress to stop him from mimicking the slow motions of being ridden.
Finally, Belphegor finds a bed he really likes and of course, demands you cuddle with him in it.
“Come on,” he says, nudging his head toward his extended arm.
“I agree, it’s comfy, so let’s get it.”
“You don’t even know what it’s like to sleep in it.”
“I laid down, didn’t I?”
“Not the way you usually do.” He tugs on the edge of your shirt. “How else will we know this is the one? Come on. Just thirty seconds.”
You keep your arms crossed as you descend into bed, letting Belphegor tuck your head into his chest.
“The count doesn’t start until you close your eyes.”
You know it will be easier to just listen, so you do. After a few seconds you begin to worry that the sales clerk might be looking so you hide your face in his shirt. Belphegor shifts to his side so he can drape his arm over your face. He rests his chin on your head and does one of those little grunt-sighs he does when he’s very comfy.
You are determined to stubbornly count down from thirty but you lose count around the time Belphegor begins lightly scratching the nape of your neck. For a brief moment, it really is just like home.
“There’s just one thing missing…” Belphegor eases his knee in between your legs and doesn’t resist at all when you shove away from him.
“I like this one. Do you like this one?” you sputter. Belphegor nods. “Then we’re set.”
Belphegor guides you across the store with a hand on your waist. “Now onto bed frames . ”
“Your shoe’s untied, Belphie.”
“Ah.” Belphegor sits on a mattress displaying a bed frame with shelves for a headboard. He slumps onto his back and kicks out his foot. “Can you tie it for me?” he says cutely, because he’s learned, as the youngest of seven brothers, saying things cutely tends to work.
It works on you, too, though you roll your eyes as you kneel in front of your lazy boyfriend. “One of these days I’m going to throw these out and replace them with Blundstones.”
Belphegor props himself up on an elbow and tucks a hair behind your ear. “You’re so good to me. You must like me a lot, huh?”
“Maybe too much.”
“At least we’re even.” Belphegor smiles warmly and scratches the nape of your neck again. You’re about to stand when Belphegor grips your neck and draws you abruptly in between his legs, pressing your cheek into his inner thigh when you jerk back.
“What do you think?” he asks, earnest and wicked. “Comfortable?”
You punch him in the gut and he releases you with a strained yelp of a laugh.
“You stop that,” you warn, taking a safe step back as you rise to your feet.
“I’m just looking out for you. You’re going to be in that position quite a bit, after all.”
You stare each other down for a long moment, Belphegor sitting up with a twisted grin, you crossing your arms with a stern frown. You turn away when you feel the corners of your lips about to twitch up into a smile.
“We don’t need the shelves.”
“So you don’t disagree.”
“It is factually correct.”
Belphegor hums at the bed frame you’re meandering towards, raised senselessly high and coming up to your hips.
“You know what else is factually correct?”
“Do I want to know?”
Belphegor nimbly walks you into the side of the bed and, with a cute little yawn that he knows is a cute little yawn, he lets his weight press you down into the mattress. He lazily snags your wrists on the way down.
“This one would be perfect for fucking you like this,” he purrs.
“Are you kidding me?” He doesn’t hold you down, but he does make you muscle his dead weight off of you, a happy mewl bubbling up from his throat when you shove back on his groin.
“Here? Really? You’re so filthy, human.” He loves calling you that, like he used to, when he finds your fury precious and wants to rile you up a little further.
You grab a fistful of his shirt. “Do you enjoy having a dick?”
He furrows his brows and levels you a challenge of a smirk. “Are you threatening me?”
“Maybe.”
“Poor choice since you’re the one who gets to enjoy me having a dick.”
“Please be quiet. Forever.”
Belphegor shrugs. Fine, he mouths, putting up his hands, then patting the mattress he just pinned you to. What do you think?
You pat his shirt where your fist wrinkled it and sit in the senselessly high bed. Belphegor chuckles silently, clearly finding something rather amusing, and swoops in to pinch your cheeks.
“What’s so funny?” Belphegor shrugs again and taps his throat. “Fine, you can talk again. Dickhead.”
Belphegor sits beside you, crossing his arms and ankles with a smug grin. “Your feet don’t touch the ground and you had to jump to get in.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, anticipating the palm to the forehead he knows is coming.
The next bed frame is the reverse of the last, unassuming and low to the floor.
“I think I’m too tall for this one,” Belphegor says.
“What do you mean? It’s the same size as the others.”
“Wait a second…” His voice trails off and you follow his gaze to the sales clerk strolling by. The second the clerk’s back is to you, Belphegor wrangles you into the bed on your hands and knees.
“Now let’s be subtle about this,” he says in a low voice. He grabs you firmly at your hips and all you can do is bang your fists weakly into the mattress so as not to catch the attention of the retreating clerk. “See here?” Belphegor presses his thigh in between your legs, daring to grind your core where he knows it’ll make you’ll ache for him. “You’re too low. I can’t fuck you properly like this. Unless…” Belphegor hikes up one knee and gives one curious thrust into your rear. “No, this won’t do.”
“I am going to strangle you when we get home,” you hiss as he helps you up.
“Promise?” he says pleasantly.
The next bed frame seems like it might be the last. It has a soft upholstered headboard and comes up to a fair height. Belphegor sits on the edge of the bed with a contented hum.
“This seems promising.”
Then he pats his lap.
“Come sit.”
“No.” He pats his lap again. “No.” He drums his hands on his legs. “ No ,” you say with an incredulous laugh.
Belphegor pouts. “But you love sitting in my lap.”
You hover around his knee, crossing your arms so you don’t reach for him out of habit. “Yes, I do.”
“But you never get to because I’m always laying in yours.”
“True, but you’re being nasty.”
Belphegor tilts his head with a knowing smirk. “Am I?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Am I?”
“You know you are.”
“I don’t think I do. Enlighten me.”
You chew on your lower lip. The clerk is busying himself at the sales counter out of earshot. Stepping in between his knees, you say, “Because you never let me sit in your lap without sitting on your dick.”
Belphegor lets out a soft sound of recognition and nods, grazing his fingers along the back of your thighs. “And you think I’d make you do that here?”
You raise a brow. Belphegor turns to the sales clerk and stares at him, seemingly with no purpose…And then the clerk yawns, slumps into the counter, and falls asleep.
Belphegor returns your raised brow and flashes a deceptively innocent smile, the smile of a youngest brother saying look what I can do.
You gawk at the sleeping clerk and sigh at your spoiled brat of a boyfriend. “You can’t just put people to sleep because you feel like it.”
He weaves his head back and forth with mocking consideration. “Pretty sure I can.”
With a sudden jolt, Belphegor pulls your knee up on the bed, his eyes glimmering with amusement as you hold onto him for balance. He grips the back of your other knee and with a silent instruction - keep holding on - he hoists you up into his lap.
“So far, so good,” Belphegor says, presumably of the bed frame, gliding his hands up your back and down again. “Now do that thing I like so much. You have no reason not to.”
You sigh with all the indulgence of a human in possession of enough patience and loose screws to date someone like him in the first place. Digging your knees into the bed, you grind slowly into his lap. Belphegor’s hands roam down to your ass and rest there, not guiding you, but feeling your movements. You draw your hands down to his chest and lower him onto his back, follow him down to hover over his face. Usually, you would have kissed him by now, but…
“Is he really asleep?”
“Check.”
You glance over to the sales counter to confirm that he is in fact still asleep, and before you can look back, Belphegor flips you onto your back.
“Now let me do that thing you like so much.”
Planting on the ground, Belphegor winds his arms under your knees to pull your legs up to your chest as his hands hook around your shoulders from behind. With one practiced thrust, he renders you immobile beneath him, the strain in his pants poised right at your entrance.
You wrap your arms around his neck, as you are so accustomed to, feeling your face grow warm. “Is it comfortable?” you ask, sulking coyly.
Belphegor responds by swooping down to kiss you, prying your lips open with his tongue as he demonstrates with the eager snap of his hips just how comfortable it would be for him to drive his cock into you like this.
“This might be the one, don’t you think?”
You respond with a mere whimper. Belphegor licks the shell of your ear with a satisfied chuckle.
“I like this shy side of you. It really makes me want to fuck you for real.”
“Don’t.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“But he’s asleep.”
“I know, but someone could walk in.”
“I’ll put them to sleep, too.”
You snort a laugh. “Don’t say it like that .”
Belphegor drops his head into the crook of your neck, rubbing his clothed cock stubbornly against your core. “I just wanna fuck you so bad.”
“You can still do it later.”
“I know, but I want to now .”
“You’re such a baby.”
“Still have a couple centuries on you, human.”
“You sure don’t act like it.”
“Would you like me to? I could be like Lucifer and fuss over thread counts if you want.”
You pet his hair with a laugh. “Never. Now come on, wake the poor employee up.”
“ Fine ,” he sighs, pulling back and flashing a smile both reassuring and mischievous. “But only if you admit that you considered letting me bed you here.”
You murmur a truthful admission that you considered it and watch your boyfriend’s eyes shine with self-satisfaction. With one last hard grind, one last deep kiss, he withdraws and offers a hand to help you stand. You hate that you’re flustered and wobbly enough to need it.
“I’ve never seen you act so shy,” Belphegor remarks, his arm draped over you as you exit the furniture store a few thousand grimm lighter. “It was really cute, you know.”
“Too bad you won’t be seeing it again anytime soon.”
“Why not?”
You nudge his rib. “Why do you think? Because you never want to go out anywhere.”
“Huh. Well, that’s not changing anytime soon…” Belphegor is silent for a moment before saying, with utter nonchalance, “Hey, maybe it’s time we let Beel watch.”
You choke on your saliva. “Don't joke about that.”
“I’m not."
“Aren’t you?”
“Am I?”
“...Are you?”