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It was Rainbow policy that if anyone found Jackal sleeping, they were not to disturb him. The insomniac got very little sleep as it was, and even if waa sleep on one of the rec center’s tables or in the hallway, it was better for someone to issue out a warning on the base group chat to not be loud in a certain area, possibly get him a blanket and pillow, but most importantly do not wake him.
No one took this more seriously than Lion.
Jackal was his best friend within Rainbow. And when their training and duty schedules synced, the pang of longing for the familiarity back in France hurt a lot less. There wasn’t much for him back there besides the church and volunteer work, while fulfilling and filled the need to be, well, needed, it was… different from what he got from Jackal. They had the same sense of humor, they could carry on a conversation easily… they even shared the same pettiness during training. Twitch had called them inseparable. Lion was just unwilling to miss any time of something… of someone… that made him feel like his presence wasn’t just tolerated, but appreciated. In fact, if Jackal lived on base full time, like the GSG9 did, Lion would seriously consider doing the same. But they both had their volunteering, didn’t they? They couldn’t just up and leave.
That wasn’t strange… was it? Surely people just wanted to be around people they got along with as much as possible, especially when such a thing was scarcer and therefore much more highly valued.
Jackal had fallen asleep on couch in the rec room, and when Lion found him, he chassd everyone out as quickly and quietly as he could, then posted a warning. At first he just sat by the door, on his phone, when he heard a noise of distress from Jackal.
The couch was facing away from the door, so Lion had to get up and peer over it to check. Jackal was moving in his sleep, not making words but whimpering. Clearly he was having a nightmare, a bad one.
Lion moved around to the front of the couch, and despite his better judgement, touched his shoulder.
Jackal grabbed him.
Startled, Lion almost struggled, about to shove Jackal off him, but then soft warmth flooded him, an indescribable feeling, really, and he realized that he was being hugged. Hugged. Not only that he hadn’t been hugged in a really long time. His body refused to act against such a thing, instead melting into it.
The awkward position made his legs start burning fast, despite his legendary endurance, but when he tried to pull away, the grip only became tighter, eyebrows pulled together in worry, and he stirred as if about to wake up. Lion stopped resisting, letting Ryad clutch him close like an overgrown teddy bear, murmuring words that Lion couldn’t understand.
So Lion was at a loss of what to do.
Sinking to his knees helped little; he still had to keep his weight shifted forward, so as to not put too much strain on Jackal’s embrace… embrace? Hug? Capture?
This wasn’t too different from the cat he had during his childhood, Pattes. Pattes would settle herself on Lion’s stomach or lap, and refused to move until she was ready. Lion loved her, and refused to get up or move, even when being yelled at, if Pattes had claimed his lap as her personal cat-throne.
On her good days, his mother had joked that the cat was the only one he listened to. But in her foul moods she would snap and rant about that he had more love and respect for an animal than he did his own family, and when reduced to tears his father would come and threaten to get rid of Pattes if he made her cry again. He never did; his sister, Sophie, adored Pattes too much.
Jackal, of course, wasn’t a cat, certainly not the queen Pattes, despite being nocturnal and independent. Surely it would be even worse if he interrupted his sleep just because he was uncomfortable, right? Pattes might have been offended but she would have ended up curling next to the heater or sunny window. Not Jackal. Who knows the next time he’d be able to sleep? It already seemed that Lion had spared him a nightmare, and now sleeping peacefully.
Really all he was able to do was relax into it and wait. How long could an unconscious man keep a vise grip?
Much longer than he expected.
Jackal was incredibly handsome, despite his age. Lion had done a double take when he learned that he was forty-nine, fifty in a couple months. He had aged incredibly well, despite the permanent dark bags under his eyes, in fact, Lion prefered such features. Despite what he put out in public, privately he always found airbrushed, ideal bodies and faces unappealing, not in the sense that that he was repelled by them, no, but there was no attraction.
And he was attracted to older women. And men. Men like Ryad.
He was snoring softly, his long eyelashes fluttering in his sleep. He looked relaxed, so vulnerable, so open. As if sleep was the one place he could finally relax… He wouldn’t dare wake him.
It was a difficult process, slowly and smoothly arranging himself on the couch next to him, but he managed to do it. Pattes and Claire had been light sleepers, so he had experience.
Full body contact with someone he cared about. Full body contact with anyone. He had forgotten what that felt like. It felt divine. He pressed into the embrace, feeling like someone who had been cold for months finally slipping into a warm bath, strange and overwhelming at first, then every muscle relaxing, then peace.
His eyes had slipped shut in his comfort, but a few minutes later when Jackal mumbled in his sleep Lion could only stare, only feel, only flick his eyes down to Ryad’s lips. They were smiling softly, and he wanted nothing but to kiss them.
No, he shouldn’t be staring at him like this, especially not thinking like this. It was hard not to, and he couldn’t very well turn around and be on his phone. Really the only thing he could do was close his eyes.
It was easy to fall into an easy peaceful sleep.
Jackal roused him when he awoke, breathing deeply, blinking sleep out of his eyes, shifting slightly to a more comfortable position. He had let go of Lion some time ago, it seemed, his arm draped lazily over his side. Lion felt fear course through him, but before he could say anything Jackal mumurred:
“You didn’t have to cuddle me.”
Lion pulled himself free onto the floor, the cold enveloping him greedily, making him wish he hadn’t left his arms, despite his heart beating out of his chest.
“I didn’t say you had to leave,” Jackal laughed, stretching out his body like a cat. “I was just surprised.”
Ears on fire, Lion insisted, “You grabbed me! You grabbed me in your sleep.”
“I did?”
“Yes,” Lion said. “And I didn’t want to wake you, so I let you.”
“Let me what?”
“Just let you hold me,” Lion said. “You were smiling… like I was your girlfriend.”
Jackal rubbed his chin, “I think it would have been more likely a boyfriend.
Lion sputtered, and Jackal laughed.
“I did sleep much better than I have in months,” Jackal added.
Lion perked up. “Really?”
“Yes, you’re a good cuddler.”
Lion ears burned, but despite this he shoved his hands in his lap as he gave a cocky grin, as if he weren’t embarrassed , which he then realized made him seem too into the idea. “I aim to please.”
Jackal’s smile deepened as he looked Lion up and down.
Lion realized with a sinking feeling he set himself up for a joke.
“Mm, so what you are saying is you should come back here,” he invited, lifting his arm.
Lion stared, like a deer frozen, but Jackal’s warm smile didn’t fall, his eyes held no mocking. And fuck there was no where else he would rather be.
Despite the brand new dimension to their friendship, it was easy to slip into conversation in each other’s arms. Ryad had that effect on him, to burn away any trepidation with one of his smiles. Lion’s thoroughness in warning must have worked, because no one came knocking even in the time they enjoyed each other’s company, what felt like a few minutes was hours. They must have given up on the rec room entirely.
Kissing wasn’t anything. Neither was the soft cards through hair, the running of knuckles over each other's arm, or pulling each other close. It was just a natural progression, the inevitable outcome of intimacy so close, Lion really didn’t think about it, it just happened, and it was absolutely divine. Thoughts had no place here, only the rhythm between them, between two beating hearts, two sets of lips and hands and tongues.
But then there was something that brought Lion back to reality. If Jackal noticed his erection he hadn’t mentioned it, not even a little sound, press in or sudden withdraw. Still, he felt ashamed, like he was a boy going through puberty again, unable to control himself, popping up to anything.
But this wasn’t just anything, this was Ryad. This was the man he adored being in the company of, that made him feel welcomed and seen whilst others didn’t give him a chance.
Lion’s fingers brushed over the hem of Jackal’s t-shirt. Jackal’s fingers slipped over his back. Their kiss deepened.
Lion tipped his head back, giving Ryad better access to his throat. The older man’s face was prickly with stubble, but Lion didn’t care. In fact his mind when blank, and a little noise escaped his lips.
Their groins pressed together and Lion realized Jackal was as hard as he was.
Lion swore, pulling Jackal’s hip tightly against his. “We need to go somewhere more private.”
“Do we?”
The thrill of getting caught, the thrill of it being something he really shouldn’t be doing even morally, the taboo, the fact he hadn’t had sex in so long… he needed them to step back from each other, otherwise his thoughts were so thick with lust, but not just lust, but the need to become lost in each other, touches, kisses, words, soft breaths.
“Ryad, please, ”
“Where are we going, as excited as we are?”
Lion would have to tuck his erection into his waistband, and even then, he didn’t want to leave Jackal even for a moment, not move even a foot away. “You’re not suggesting we fuck here?”
“No, no, my dear Olivier,” Jackal chuckled, pulling at Lion hair and hip. “I am suggesting making love right here.”
Lion melted.