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Adults always tell kids not to trust strangers, especially strangers on the streets. Adults always warn kids about creepy strangers wanting to kidnap little kids. Despite what one could believe, Megumi also heard those warnings from his father (even though that man never cared about him, always leaving him alone).
When Megumi, aged seven, met Gojou on his way home, he knew he could trust him, even though he was… creepy, to say the least. There was something about him that screamed “safety” and “warmth” and little Megumi had been alone and cold for a long, long time. He yearned for that warmth, he yearned for protection and safety. So, despite all the warnings Megumi had heard, he went to Gojou’s house, which, he supposed, was going to be his new home.
Megumi’s first impression about the white-haired boy was that he was annoying, care-free and always happy. Little Megumi wondered how was that even possible… no one could be this happy, right? But, apparently, Gojou was. To Megumi, who looked up to him, Gojou was not only the strongest, but also the happiest.
Except that he wasn’t and, eventually, little Megumi found out that, if anything, that boy was the saddest.
1.
Little Megumi woke up from a nightmare, but he didn’t want to get Tsumiki or Gojo: he was a big boy and, as such, he wasn’t scared of anything!
Shaking, the kid decided to get some warm milk from the kitchen. To his surprise, when he was near the living room he heard noises… weird noises… it couldn’t be the tattooed monster, with four arms and many mouths, from his nightmare, right?
He was trembling even harder now. As he approached the sofa, he could distinguish it was the sound of pages rustling and sobs. Megumi saw white hair and he was shocked to the core. Could it be… Gojou was crying?
Apparently, despite his technique, the sorcerer hadn’t realized the kid was there and Megumi didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t he the happiest? Why was he crying while staring at pictures? What was wrong?
The child decided to comfort Gojou. He wasn’t a big fan of cuddles but he couldn’t stand the boy’s sad face and cuddling was supposed to make you feel better, so he would give it a try. But, luck wasn’t on his side that night, and Megumi tripped over the rug, startling the older boy.
“Ouch!”
“Megumi-chan? What- Are you okay?”, asked Gojou, worried. Megumi realized he had also wiped the tears from his face and hidden the pictures.
“I- I’m fine, Gojou-san. Don’t worry!”
“I’ve told you so many times, kiddo. You can call me just Gojou or Satoru. No need to be so formal. Now, why are you up this late?”
Megumi fidgeted and, instead of answering, climbed up until he sat on the older boy’s lap, tucking his face on the other’s neck and hugging him.
Gojou seemed surprised, but he recovered pretty quickly from the shock, caressing the child’s back.
“Oh? My, my, someone is cuddly. Did Megumi-chan miss me that much today, huh?”
“That’s not it, Gojou-san!”
“Megumi-chan missed me! Megumi-chan missed me”, singsonged Gojou, angering Megumi.
“Stop it already, you dumbass!”, making the older giggle, which, in turn, made the kid happy.
“Alright, alright. Now, why don’t you really tell me what’s wrong, kiddo?”
Megumi pulled his face from the other’s neck and spoke softly.
“I just wanted some milk but… you- you were crying… and, I just wanted to help so I thought a hug was a good idea, but maybe I was wrong. Gojo-san, are you alright?
Gojou seemed startled and touched.
“Oh, Megumi, you must have been too sleepy. I wasn’t crying at all. See? I’m smiling!”
“I know what I saw, ‘Toru. What’s in those pictures?”
Gojou's smile faltered and he ruffled the kid’s hair.
“You’re too smart and observant for a kid, Megumi-chan. You really want to know, huh?”
Little Megumi nodded and Gojou sighed, taking out the pictures again.
“Look. That’s Suguru, my best friend.”
“Woah! He’s so pretty!”, yelled Megumi, in awe.
Gojou laughed at that. “Yeah. Yeah, he is. The prettiest.”
The kid hesitated. “You both seem really happy. Did he leave you too?”
“Something like that. He’s sort of a criminal now, so I- I won’t see him again. And if I do see him, I’ll have to turn him in”, said a shaky voice.
“Gojou-san, you love him, right?”
“Well, of course! He’s my best friend.”
“No, I think you love him like daddy used to love mommy.”
“Oh? I swear, kids those days are too smart. You’re right, Megumi-chan. He is… my one and only.”
The kid frowned, confused. “Your what and what? What does that mean?”
Gojou laughed softly. “It just means that I love him very, very much. You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“I’m sorry…”, whispered Megumi hugging the other again.
“It’s alright, kiddo. I’m the strongest for a reason.”
“But-“
“No buts. Now, go back to sleep. It’s way past your bedtime.”
“I don’t wanna! I wanna stay here. You’re comfy and warm!”, whined the child.
“Megumi”, said a stern voice.
“But Gojou-san! I can’t go to bed alone! I had a scary nightmare, that’s why I was up and I- I don’t wanna go back.”
“A nightmare, huh? Do you want me to sleep with you, then? The strongest will protect you.”
“Please”, said the kid with a small voice.
“Okay, let’s go then.”
Once in bed, Megumi hid on Gojou’s chest, hugging him with his small arms and the oldest just ruffled the kid’s hair.
“It’s alright, Megumi-chan. You’ll be okay.”
“But will you?”
“I will be.”
“I hope so. I hate seeing Gojou-san sad.”
A few minutes later, Gojou whispered:
“You were worried about me, huh? Thank you, Megumi-chan.”
But Megumi was already asleep, on Gojou’s chest, almost purring and with a content face. Feeling safe and warm, and protected.
Gojou laughed softly. “Well, I won’t say it again tomorrow, what a pity you missed it, kiddo!”
Staring at the ceiling, Gojou, eyes shining and with a child in his arms, whispered:
“Suguru… what are you up to? Please, come back to me.”
That night, Gojou cried himself to sleep but, at the same time, Megumi’s weight on him reassured him.
Sometimes kids were a wonderful thing. Gojou was sure that the best thing he had gotten from killing Toji Fushiguro was Megumi. The kid was truly a blessing. The name choice was accurate.
2.
The second time Megumi saw Gojou so broken and affected, he was fourteen. The man had gone on a mission somewhere and the teenager didn’t know when the other would be back.
The dark-haired boy had been reading a book when he heard the keys jingling outside. He had perked up, set the book aside and gone to the door.
But nothing could have prepared him for the sight before his eyes.
There stood Gojou, red-rimmed eyes as if he had spent hours crying. There was blood on his face, hands and arms. Objectively, he knew that said blood couldn’t be from his sensei, thanks to infinity, but worry gnawed at him.
“Tadaima”, said the white-haired man in a whisper.
“Okaeri, Gojou-san”, said Megumi softly. “What happened?”
“Don’t worry, Megumi-chan. The mission was a success. I’ll just go to sleep, alright?”, he patted the teen’s head, but his hands were shaking badly.
“Sensei… at least, let me help you clean up? Please?”
Gojou just nodded, averting his eyes and that had made Megumi worry even more. Usually, the man would have whined and said he could take care of himself, but now… it was as if the strongest was just a shell, an empty shell and Megumi hated it.
The teen, not much of a talker, decided not to push Gojou, he guessed the man would tell him what happened, if he wanted. So, Megumi had made the older sit on the sofa so he could clean all the blood with a wet towel.
“It’s all done, Gojou-san. You can go to sleep, now. I’ll do the laundry. Don’t worry about it. Just, rest”, spoke a soft voice.
The white-haired boy had just nodded, not saying anything and Megumi had watched him go with sad, worried eyes.
Gojou had been acting weird for days, he had been all closed off. And, furthermore, he didn’t use infinity. Not even when he went on short missions, it was as if, since that mission a few weeks ago, he was on a self-destructive spiral and Megumi didn’t know what do to, he wanted to make him snap out of it but he just didn’t know how… until one night.
Screams could be heard throughout the household, waking teen Megumi up, in alert, ready to attack.
Listening clearly, he realized the screams were coming from Gojou’s room and that woke him up immediately, body filled with worry.
He decided to check on the oldest and, as he got closer to the door, he was able to make out some words out of the screams.
“Suguru! Please, please, Suguru…”
Suguru? As in Gojou-san’s beloved? A chill went through Megumi’s body. He knew now, something really bad happened on that mission and that it involved Suguru. Could it be… they had come face to face? Could it be they had to fight?
Suddenly, Megumi couldn’t take it anymore. He opened up the bedroom’s door and saw Gojou, trashing on bed, asleep, yelling, while tears were running down his face.
He needed to wake the man up and he had to do it at that moment, so the teenager climbed up on bed and started shaking his sensei, to no avail.
Megumi shook him harder and, as it didn’t work, he slapped Gojou. Apparently, that woke him up, but as the man wasn’t on his right mind, he activated his infinity, throwing the teen against the wall.
“Ouch!”
That had snapped Gojou out of his daze. He had taken on his surroundings and gasped when he realized what had happened, turning his technique off.
“Megumi-chan? Shit, are you okay? I’m- I’m sorry.”
Megumi coughed and got up. “I’m fine, Gojou-san. Don’t worry. I’m strong.”
Gojou sighed in relief. “Kiddo, what are you doing here?”
“You were screaming and crying on your sleep. I was worried about you. You were calling out for… Suguru.”
The oldest froze and laughed nerviously. “I was, huh? Don’t worry. Just a random name, I guess. I don’t even remember what I was dreaming about.”
“Gojou-san. I’m not an idiot. I know who Suguru is, I remember from when you showed me the pictures. Please, what happened? You need to let it all out, you’re… you’re hurting yourself.
A dark chuckle could be heard. “Maybe I deserve to be hurting, Megumi.”
“No, you don’t. I don’t know what happened, but you don’t deserve to be this sad. I’m sure, Suguru wouldn’t want-“
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT”, yelled Gojou.
“You’re right, I don’t, but, Gojou-san…”
“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“I won’t. You shouldn’t be alone right now. Scream at me all you want, but I’m staying.”
“Why?”
“Because I want Gojou-san to… to be alright. I hate seeing you sad, it’s scary.”
“Megumi, please.”
“You should talk about whatever happened. You should let it all out to feel… better. You always tell me that bottling things up is no good, so… You don’t have to tell me anything, but, at least, cry or scream or punch the wall, just let it all out, meanwhile I’ll just-”
Megumi didn’t finish the sentence, he just climbed up again on bed and hugged Gojou, as he did when he was a kid, hoping to comfort him, hoping to make him feel he wasn’t alone.
Gojou stiffened and, then, started shaking and hid his face on Megumi’s neck.
“I’m a bad person, Megumi.”
“You’re a bastard, sure, but you aren’t a bad person.”
The white-haired man let out a watery laugh and then sobbed. “I- We- It was Suguru. I had to fight him and I also had to- ki- kill him. Megumi, I killed him, I killed the love of my life and I can’t forgive myself.”
Megumi’s heart clenched painfully and he caressed the other’s back.
“’Toru, I’m sorry. You did what you had to do. Only the strongest could carry such a burden and it’s okay to be hurting. But, please, you got to forgive yourself. I don’t know Suguru, but something tells me, if he had to be killed, he wanted to die by your own hands. And something tells me, he forgives you.”
The older's sobs quieted down, but he didn’t pull away from the hug. “He was an idiot, he probably would’ve said something like there’s nothing to forgive.”
“Well, Gojou-san, you’re also an idiot, so your partner had to be an idiot as well.”
“Ouch, Megumi! You wound me when I’m at my lowest! You’re so mean. It’s clear you’re a teenager.”
“I learned from the meanest one: you.”
“What? I’m not mean at all, Megumi-chan. Stop lying!”
Megumi laughed. “Okay, maybe not mean, but you’re a bastard.”
“You wound me, Megumi, you wound me.”
“Suck it up, you old man."
Softly, the teenager keep talking: “But, you know? Suguru would’ve been right. There’s nothing to forgive. And I’m pretty sure he would want you to be happy and for you to just hold on to the happy memories you two share.”
“I guess you’re right… he was a sappy one, he was always saying things like these. But still, it hurts so much. Why couldn’t we be happy?”
“Life’s shit, ‘Toru. But I’m sure it will all get better eventually. Why don’t you tell me your whole love story with him? I’m sure reminiscing will help. Besides, I’m kinda curious to know how he could put up with a smug bastard like you.”
“For your information, he was worse than me. But since I am such a good person, I’m going to tell you everything. You better not fall asleep.”
"Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink
We'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything
Too young to notice and too dumb to care
Love was a story that couldn't compare
He said: 'Please don't be sad now, I really believe
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me'
“Now, son, I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible things.
So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose
I can’t bare the same thing happen to you.”
That night, teen Megumi finally learned everything about Gojou and Suguru, as well as how love could be a wonderful thing, but at the same time, the most painful one, even worse than a curse.
That night, Gojou shared all the tears he had, but he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and, for the first time in weeks, he got a peaceful sleep, in Megumi’s arms.
That same night, a gentle and warm breeze caressed Satoru’s face, as if someone was saying goodbye, as if someone was saying “I love you”.
Gojou, still asleep, smiled and whispered: “I love you too, Suguru. Always will.”