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Huffing to himself, TommyInnit grinned. Raising the crossbow so that his vision was directly aligned with the arrow, as it’s wooden frame rested near his cheek bone. Smile still over his face, Tommy arched forwards and pulled the trigger…
—————
“PHIL! WE NEED A BIT OF HELP OVER HERE!”
It was only a few days until Christmas, and in Brighton, England, a two story house held a great many members.
The sound of feet stomping down stairs could barely be heard over the clangour of separate voices yelling various things to every room and corner of the house.
Having finished making his way down the stairs, Phil rushed over to the doorway with two men standing idly by. The two almost seemed shell shocked from the sheer amount of hubbub coming from what on first glance had seemed to be a regular residence.
“Yeah- this ain’t my house bud .” The horned man speaking to one of the men held multiple pizzas in his hand, stumbling away. “Just- f*cking- I don’t know. Ask one of the kids to get them or something.”
A smaller horned kid took some of the pizzas off of his father, then Tubbo and Schlatt retreated to the dining room. Setting down the boxes with a huff and a sigh as a purple particle excluding child began to set up cups.
“PHILLL! SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!”
Pushing his way past a few others, Wilbur rushed towards the pizza. Nearly knocking over Technoblade as he went.
The boar-hybrid scowled at his twin. Pushing up crooked glasses as he snapped shut the survival booklet held in his right hand. A fox-hybrid gasping in shock as he quickly stopped an entire bottle of orange juice from falling on the man beside him. Flailing to grab it before it burst over the floor.
“ Wilbur ! You nearly knocked over the juice!”
“APOLOGISE TO TECHNO- f*cking hell ! Sh*t. Sorry officer.” Phil grimaced as he began to count out bills from his wallet, before passing them to the delivery guy who nodded in thanks before exiting.
Chuckling nervously, the father then turned to the blond in front of him. A small mask badge on the other’s collar took his attention for just a moment, before he was finally back on track.
“So- uh- what seems to be the problem here?” Smiling anxiously, a crash sounded from behind Philza, which the officer raised an eyebrow at.
“Oh! No no no. No problems here!” Green eyes surveyed the room. Pinpointing exactly where the noise had come from to be an unknown source from up the staircase.
“I’m just taking a look at the streets around this part. Do you have proper home security? Lots of break ins this time of year!”
And after a few seconds of deliberation, Phil beamed.
“Yeah! We got the timed lights, house alarm, basically the best one can do nowadays.” Phil’s eye twitched as he rubbed his left arm embarrassed. “The- uh- the house isn’t normally this rowdy. My friend just brought his kids around so we can go on a trip for once as a family. The house should be fine so- thanks for worrying about us, officer!”
Feet trundled down the stairs. Thumping as they went.
All of a sudden, Phil was pushed forwards by a fast travelling child. The older man floundered in the air for a second before regaining his balance, and a blond haired boy laughed as he disappeared to where the pizzas were.
“-f*cking Tommy - MATE! YOU NEARLY MADE ME F*CKING FALL OVER!”
The police officer began to retreat out of the house. Face set in a grimace pretending to be a smile.
“I think I’ll just… get out of your way.”
“F*CK YOU OLD MAN!”
“TOMMY YOU LITTLE SH*T! -”
Dream exited the building. His officer outfit gleaming under the shine of flashing rainbow Christmas lights as he retreated to a van containing two other figures.
—————
“Coming through- coming through! Big man is here!”
Tubbo laughed as Tommy shuffled over beside him. Nearly choking on coke through a straw.
Tommy grinned. It was motherf*cking Christmas time, baby! If only they weren’t going to f*cking America- it would be so much better if they stayed home as England was obviously f*cking supreme.
“Hey Ranboo, what are you doing about your Axolotl while we’re all away?”
Tommy began to tune back in on Tubbo and Ranboo’s conversation. His mind abuzz with all sorts of thoughts on how much better things would be if they could just be at home the full time.
“He’s got the automated feeder on that Sam made, so he should be fine for- OW !-”
“Watch it, squirt!”
Schlatt pushed past the three of them haughty. Nearly making Ranboo fall flat on his face.
Tommy scoffed. Helping the other up as Tubbo snickered at his friend's predicament.
Then, they all had pizzas on the flimsy plastic plates from the back of the pantry. The ones that he had asked Phil to buy, because they were supposed to be used for a project!
Leaving Ranboo and Tubbo to their conversation, Tommy picked up the grease stained plate and with a mischievous grin, began to make his way to where more interesting company would be.
Techno sighed as he drew near. A hand rubbing his forehead as Tommy sat down next to him.
“What do you want , Tommy. I am reading right now so could you kindly-”
“Techno!” Smile reaching the corners of his cheeks, Tommy slung an arm over his brother’s shoulder, and the hybrid grimaced as the coke in his hand nearly spilled.
“So. I was thinking about the bag situation, and I thought ooo! Techno!” Pulling funny faces and speaking in a mocking tone, Tommy continued. “He’s such a good bag packer! As well as the best at absolutely every - f*cking - thing Blade! So I propose a deal-”
Wrenching himself out of Tommy’s arm, Technoblade fixated a scornful stare down at him.
Schlatt’s laughter rang loudly throughout the dining room at something Fundy had said.
Rubbing at his arm, Tommy glared at his brother.
“What was all that about?!”
You try to be nice, and all of a sudden you’re treated as a criminal! Tommy pouted. Taking a sip from the drink in his hand.
“Look.” Technoblade pushed up his glasses once again. Brushing pink hair away from his eyes and sending another scornful glare Tommy’s way. “I. Am. Not . Packing your bags for you. Do it yourself. I’m already tired from packing, and doing my job .” Tommy sneered. Well, it wasn’t as if Techno had needed to do his job on the day before they left ! “Just go do it yourself. We’ll probably rush in the morning if this goes as well as I expect it to, and-”
“-Yeah Tommy . Stop distracting Techno!”
The sneer on his face grew into more of a scowl.
Wilbur shuffled over. Plate still full, but obviously he hadn’t been able to stop himself from butting into f*cking everything that wasn’t his business-
“F*ck off, dickhead! I’m talking to the Blade here, not-”
“TOMMY!”
Now someone else was butting in?!
Philza yelled to him from across the room, having obviously spotted favourite child Techno being accosted.
Seriously. It was like he hardly existed in this house!
“F*CKING LEAVE YOUR BROTHERS ALONE FOR ONCE GOD DAMN IT-! We are not taking the marbles with us! Those f*cking things will fall out in the plane Fundy, you can’t-”
Wilbur pulled faces at him as Tommy stormed off. Him trundling up the stairs as everyone else downstairs just f*cking carried on, as if nothing had f*cking happened !
Tommy made his way to his own room. Clothes spilling out over the floor hazardously in front of the suitcase which still hadn’t been f*cking packed !
He thumped down onto his bed. Glaring at the ceiling as if it’s done him wrong.
Why was it that everytime he asked something, someone would always butt in!
Maybe it was because of how full the house was.
He shifted onto his side. Curling up over the blankets and snarling to an empty corridor.
They were all so f*cking noisy downstairs- he could f*cking hear them from up here !
“ F*ck !”
Biting his lip, Tommy abruptly sat up again. Fingers digging rivets into bed sheets.
This couldn’t go on any longer.
He couldn’t f*cking take it for any longer!
“ What should I f*cking - uh-”
Tommy stood up again. Opening his door and thinking practically out loud.
Maybe… a bit of griefing was in order.
A smile lit up his features. The blond scurrying into a military-esque room.
Oh yeah. This would f*cking show all of them!
—————
“Puffy! How was the final shift back at El Hospital, hah?”
Schlatt never got a reply, as before he could greet his friend’s wife, a loud banging began to clang as something made its way down the stairs. The whole room practically falling silent as people turned their heads around to see just what it was.
Show time, baby!
Tommy greeted the room with open arms. A mischievous grin settled over his features.
But the room's attention was rather more drawn to exactly what he was wearing.
Not the best bit of work he’d done before, but good enough! A formerly tidy camouflage jacket was splattered in pink paint, courtesy of Wilbur’s little art studio, and draped over his shoulders. The clothing was obviously far too big for him, and all residents of the room knew exactly who owned it.
“Look. At. Me. IIIII’m Technoblade.” Tommy swung around his brother’s crossbow in a twirl. Almost dropping it as he moved.
Tubbo gasped from somewhere, and all of a sudden it was the real Technoblade himself who was making his way over. Practically snorting out smoke from his snout.
Well, serves him right for always getting him into trouble!
“You ruined my FAVOURITE JACKET ?!”
Tommy shrunk back. Not having expected the other to be so angry at him.
And all of a sudden, the room was in uproar.
“What the f*ck are you even doing ?!”
“Little sh*t got a death wish?!”
“Tommy what the actual f*cking hell -”
Techno grabbed him by the wrist. Attempting to yank away the crossbow from his grasp as a bloodthirsty look took over his brother’s face.
“SH*T! That f*cking- YOU F*CKING HURT ME!”
Phil was attempting to make his way to the front. Pushing past tables and chairs.
“You know that crossbow is- give it back ! This paint better be washable or I swear -!”
The two argued more as others stood up. The sheer amount of people in close quarters on chairs barring them from moving at full speed.
“Well if it had been f*cking packed away -”
“I was going to wear it on the trip THERE!”
Sh*t! Tommy grimaced as his brother’s hand tightened. Would that leave a bruise ?! It wasn’t as if this wasn’t reparable, and if they’d just listened then-
“F*CKING STOP IT RIGHT NOW-!”
It just wasn’t f*cking fair that they all ignored him!
Tommy felt his desperation grow as Technoblade attempted to pull the weapon out from his grip. His fingers were failing -
Something had to be done.
And in a moment of desperation, TommyInnit yanked Technoblade’s crossbow from his hand. And in all of his desperation and limitless energy, a bolt that he hadn’t realised was loaded fired.
His eyes followed it as the bolt shot through the air as if in slow motion. Technoblade’s mouth was opening in shock as Phil stretched out his arm in horror. Pulling away Wilbur from the spot where the bolt would eventually hit…
With a power Tommy didn’t know that the weapon had, the bolt tore through the floor to create a large gaping hole going directly into the basement.
The room went silent. The only sound audible being from the crumbling of the floor and Tommy’s own heartbeat as he looked on at the destruction he’d caused, horrified.
F*ck… this wasn’t meant to happen.
“Tommy. Upstairs, right now .”
Turning his head robotically, Tommy saw Phil staring at him with a glare like molten lava.
A piece of the floorboards fell. Crashing to the concrete basement floors beneath.
It was f*cking humiliating to walk up those stairs slowly. Every pair of eyes stuck on his figure with a sense of disappointment following their gaze that was suffocating . Even f*cking Ranboo and Tubbo were looking at him as if he’d done wrong.
It was a f*cking accident . Those happen!
The pressure was tense as Phil guided him through the hallway. Over to a flight of stairs which made Tommy recoil back.
“The- you want me to sleep on the f*cking third floor ?! That’s- thats f*cking child abuse! You can’t-”
Phil was glaring at him. Tommy trailed off of his sentence, and gulped just before his dad could say anything at all.
“Tommy. I am-” Phil sucked in a deep breath, before breathing it back out again. Visibly attempting to calm himself down manually.
“I am this -” he held his finger to nearly pinch each other, “ f*cking close to just leaving you behind!”
Tommy fumed.
“Well- I don’t CARE ! It’s no fun at all with all of you guys spoiling everything-”
“F*cking grow UP mate!”
“Well maybe it would be BETTER, IF YOU ALL JUST F*CKING DISAPPEARED-!”
Stoney eyes glared back at him. Cutting Tommy off from what he was saying with a choke.
Phil looked exhausted. Mind made up about something , and Tommy didn’t necessarily know if he’d finally gone too far.
Phil scrutinised him for a few more uncomfortable seconds, before finally speaking without a single hint of emotion.
“You’ve got your wish.” Opening the attic door, Phil ushered him in. The single bed looked lonely from where it sat in the center of the large room. Boxes filling the remainder of space around it.
Those cold eyes once again made contact with his own.
“I’ll make your suitcase, I’ll even set it by the door so I can pack it into the five seater, unless you chose to be taking a ride with Tubbo and-”
“I don’t want to f*cking travel in the same car as you.”
Spitting out the words with more venom than he felt, Tommy instantly felt regretful. But he couldn’t admit defeat now! It wasn’t even entirely his fault, if they just actually listened for once-
“Fine. You’ve got your ticket, you know where to sit. Go next to someone who can actually tolerate you. Then, once we’ve gotten to America, I’ll be having words. Then you can also apologise.”
Tommy stoically glared at his dad. Neither one relented.
Phil left him alone in the attic room. His only two sources of light being from behinds cobwebbed shades from a high window, and from the cracks underneath the door.
It was warm, at least.
Though, it wasn’t as if his dad would physically hurt him, or at least on purpose and not through sparring.
Tommy lay down. Scoffing half heartedly at musty sheets as he pulled them over to cover his young frame.
Yeah. One day in the future it would just be him .
Nobody else in the house. Things would be amazing . Chocolate for every meal as no one could tell him no, ice cream whenever he wanted -
Maybe Tubbo and Ranboob could visit occasionally, but not until they apologised for not having stuck up for him downstairs.
“Yeah.” Snickering as he spoke aloud, Tommy then shuffled to lie on his side. Snuggling into the blankets to dream about what a world would be like without any rules at all .
“Wouldn’t that be a Christmas miracle .”
—————
Outside of the house a tree swayed and creaked in a heavy winter’s breeze.
An old and weary trunk groaned with the weight it had accumulated over the years. Screaming with the effort it had used up many a year ago with the neighbor kid’s treehouse that now had lain abandoned for many a months.
The winds shrieked as they battered the wood. Pushing until something gave way-
With a snap and a crackle, the tree fell down. Landing directly over phone lines and sending a surge of electricity through the block. Making all lights apart from those that were battery powered go out in one fell swoop.
The stars shone brightly above that night. Foretelling a marvellous Christmas ahead.
—————
“WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”
The drivers of two cars at the front of the house awkwardly waited next to each other. Watching as panic and chaos occurred within the house’s confines.
The driver of the larger van began to throw suitcases into the trunk. Not aware as a male child made his way towards them. An LAFD beanie firmly in place over his head.
“Hola!” He waved a hand at the man. “Don’t tell me- are the MINECRAFT’S going AWAY ?!”
Holding his chest in a mock act of shock, Quackity then giggled. Helping himself to take a look at the suitcase nearest him, and in doing so, partway leaning into the trunk of the car.
While he did this, the rushing families from within the two story house began to appear. They separated into two different groups. Fundy counting the people there to make sure everyone hadn’t slept in.
Quackity didn’t notice as he was counted. Moving away as the van began to get filled up, and Philza, Wilbur, and Technoblade popped into the five seater. Suitcases filled the empty seat between them as the driver then began to peel away.
“Oh.” Ranboo spoke to himself. Grabbing onto the window’s edge as they swerved around incoming traffic. “Tommy must have decided to sit with Phil instead.”
They reached the airport without a second left to lose.
“KEEP GOING!” Schlatt huffed out as the large group trundled past other holiday goers and pushed through security checkpoints. “OUR FLIGHT’S ONLY IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES !”
Tubbo pulled Wilbur out of the way from getting smacked in the head by a sign, as they finally made their way to an empty station with a lone flight attendant packing up her things meekly.
“IS FLIGHT- wheeze - f*ck’s sake - is flight 396 still here?!” Phil gasped as they brought out their tickets. The sheer size of the group making the woman squeak and fumble with her hands.
“Y-yes! Go right in I-I’ll scan-” Before she could even finish speaking tickets were held out at her. A cheer resounding from the group as they each made their way onboard the plane.
Not before long, they were up in the air. Each letting out a relieved sigh as they had actually all made it -
Back at home, a door creaked. A scruffy seeming blond head making its way through the open gap.
“Guys?”
The plane took off. Setting forwards to Brooklyn.
—————
“What the f*ck- what the f*ck …”
Tommy raced around the empty house. Bursting open each door feverishly as he went.
“Guys?! This isn’t f*cking funny I f*cking swear -”
He checked the garage. Opening the doors to find two cars exactly where they had been the day before.
“Well if their cars are here then they can’t have f*cking left to America without me…” Muttering underneath his breath, Tommy then shut the front door with a shudder, and sat down onto the couch staring straight ahead.
Had he seriously just…
Had he f*cking wished his family AWAY ?!
F*ck. He had f*cking wished his family away!
…
A grin slid onto Tommy’s face. The shock reseeded as he processed it.
He had the whole house to himself now.
A snicker made its way out of his chest in a bubble. Bursting its way through.
No more rules , b*tches!
“What the f*ck Techno?! How long have you been holding out on us with these ?!”
Tommy riffled through Technoblade’s drawers with callous abandonment. Knowing nothing that he did would get him in trouble.
“Tripwires, duct tape, mannequins -” Muttering with more feeling as he saw the assortment of items, Tommy then lurched back with a mischievous grin.
“I always f*cking knew he was a wrong’un!”
Scooping the objects up in his arms, Tommy then set down his haul in the center of the room. Going back to continuing his digging through his brother’s personal belongings.
“WILLLLL! I’M F*CKING UP YOUR ART STUDIO, B*TCH! GONNA COME STOP ME?!”
Paint splattered over canvases to make a work of art if he does say so himself, but at least it was better than whatever abstract-avant garde sh*t Wilbur had. It was just stacks and stacks of random shapes and blotches! Nothing as cool as his bright pink mega-robo-laser-turbo-dog!
Laughing uproariously, Tommy then splattered a bit of paint on the ground. Smothering the tarp in multiple shades of everything he could grab. Not even caring as specks of colour flew off onto the wooden floorboards as- surprise surprise! He didn’t need to care about it!
“WIL- HA HA - I’M F*CKING UP ALL YOUR SH*T!”
Tommy’s head flung backwards as he chuckled and wheezed.
Later on as he lay down on Philza’s bed, (which he normally would have never been allowed on with shoes!), Tommy smirked up at the ceiling. Satisfied with all the absolute f*cking chaos he could now do, as he’d had a large heap of ice cream for dinner rather than any sort of healthy sh*t.
This was f*cking amazing !
He didn’t ever want his family to come back home to ruin it all! Things were much better now, and this was the best present Tommy could have gotten.
—————
A run down laundromat van drove through the street slowly. The three inhabitants of the vehicle staring in awe at the houses around them-
Or should I say, targets .
“ See , George?! I told you that the Jumbo family would leave this year!”
“Well sor- ry that I assumed from last year they wouldn’t go because of that whole cult debacle, you see, we can all be as smart and brainy as you, Sapnap.”
“I’m glad that you realised I am so smart. Got that big brain!”
“I was being sar cas tic!”
“Shut up !”
Huffing from the driver's seat, Dream pulled over to an empty parking space on the side of the road. Watching with analysing eyes as Christmas lights turned on like clockwork.
Sapnap and George continued to bicker. Making Dream quietly sneer in annoyance at their antics.
This was a serious f*cking mission, guys!
“Hey Dream!” Sapnap tapped on his shoulder from the seat behind. Causing Dream to click his seatbelt to turn and face the other with George sending a look at them from the front seat.
Sapnap grinned. A dangerous streak of joy in his eyes. “So! Which house are we hitting tonight!” He leant forwards in anticipation. The fake puppy dog face made Dream roll his eyes to the side as he pushed the other away with a snort.
“Tonight we’ll start off with scouting out the place, you know? Nothing much, no danger of getting the authorities called on us,” explaining, Dream waved his hands about, before gesturing to a house directly opposite them.
That house in particular happened to be two stories, and void of any residents apart from a young boy.
Although, it wasn’t as if the three robbers knew that at this point.
“ This , gentlemen,” he proclaimed with an exuberant brandish, “is the whole reason why we’re working this particular neighbourhood!”
Dream’s smile stretched over his face, thoughts of just what they could buy rushing through his head in a flurry of movement and colours-
“Huh?” George stared at the house. Pushing up his glasses as he looked with confusion. “It looks exactly the same as every other house here? What’s so special about it?”
Sapnap nodded along too, but that was to be expected. They’d left him to be the one to put in all of the work of going to each house in a fake policeman uniform, so of course none of them would have common knowledge!
Huffing, Dream spoke with his arms crossed together.
“Well, that , my friends,” once again brandishing his arms towards the house with more force this time, Dream continued, “is the house if none other than Philza Minecraft himself!”
Sapnap fell back with an over the top gasp.
“You mean- the guy who created Minecraft ?! We’re robbing…” struggling with his words, Sapnap then continued a bit more enthusiastically, “Mr Minecraft ?!”
George still seemed confused however.
“Minecraft? You mean that kids game that some people play? I’ve seen a few videos recommended to me on YobTobe before, but didn’t really think anyone actually watched them!”
Dream shrugged. Attention once again grabbed by the house that was within his sights.
So close… so close to being his .
“Apparently tons of people watch them, so the guy must be loaded .” Dream’s thoughts began to drift as he once again could imagine the sheer amount of dough he would get from this steal-
“I wouldn’t personally myself, only idiots would care about block men!”
Sapnap laughed uproariously. Slapping George on the back in a way that caused the other to choke for a second.
Dream’s acidic green eyes were locked on target. Tantalising as it was, they couldn’t rush in just yet.
It was endurance that mattered in the end, after all. Not speed.
—————
“Huh.” Tommy hummed as he waltzed out of the shower. A towel wrapped hazardously around his figure as he made his way over to the mirror and bench before him.
“Looks like boob boy forgot his hairspray… maybe I could swap it around with some spray paint and then…” trailing off from his muttering, Tommy then frowned. Looking upon his own blond face in the mirror with a sneer.
He’d gotten rid of Ranboo. There would be no f*cking point to doing any of that, because in the end nothing would ever happen.
Tubbo wouldn’t be back either.
They were all…
F*ck . He’d f*cking wanted this!
Tommy tightened his hands into fists. Feeling his nails press painfully against the skin of his palms with an angry wince.
He’d been the one to want for them all to go, so why should he care?!
Well, Tommy did sort of, kind of, care.
The worst thing to have possibly ever happened to anyone in existence had happened to him. He was f*cking out of ice cream .
No food was left other than the multitudes of cartons of orange juice in the fridge, well, apart from everything that he had no idea how to use or even what it was, so there was only one course of action left for him to take.
Sly eyes stared at the doorway.
Time for TommyInnit to f*cking go shoppin!
Cracking the door open with a couple of dollars, courtesy of Techno’s little money stash for emergencies, Tommy began to get ready to set out on a journey of fun and excitement! Something he’d never been able to experience on his lonesome before!
Getting ready to take his first big step into the real world Tommy held his breath and-
Crimson red eyes bore a hole into his chest, and Tommy finally realised just how badly he had f*cked up by thinking he would ever be ready.
He slammed the door shut. Breathing heavily as he panted with his full weight against it in case the murder-man-BadBoyHalo decided that he needed to sacrifice another body to the egg.
After a few minutes of heavy panting, five heavy knocks rapped on the entryway door.
Tommy bolted up the stairs, straight into Phil’s room. “F*ck, sh*t, b*tch -!” Whispering to himself, Tommy then manoeuvred himself to be directly hidden beneath his dad’s bed.
F*cking hell he was f*cking shaking !
A few more knocks echoed around the house from the door, but Tommy knew better about what was going on.
BadBoyHalo was rumoured to be the leader of a cult.
A tall demon hybrid with razor sharp fangs, and claws that looked as if they could rend you limb from limb were prominent on his shadowy figure that one could never quite make out, even if he were under direct sunlight.
They said he’d sacrificed his partner to an evil god, and salted the ground when snowy to atone for his crimes, as the police could never catch him but were still suspicious.
Rumour had it, though, that inside of the salt was the mummified remains of all that crossed him. Little boys and girls that wouldn’t be missed .
Sh*t!
Outside of the house stood a tall man in police gear. After failing to hear any response after knocking, Punz sighed in annoyance and pulled over his walkie-talkie.
“Yep. No kids here that I could find.”
The words 'roger that’ could barely be heard as the police officer then made his way into the car. Shuffling uncomfortably as he sat.
“Damn,” wincing as he finally shuffled into a more comfortable position, Punz then started the engine in preparation to go.
“I should f*cking sue that laundromat. They stretched this thing out so much, and it barely seems clean at all!”
Tommy creeped out from underneath the bed. Wincing as floorboards creaked and grinded beneath his weight.
The knocking had stopped about ten or so minutes ago, and it was almost dark so he was hungry .
The novelty of being entirely alone was beginning to wear off. He was starving, out of ice cream, and bored. The tv wasn’t working because the powerlines still hadn’t been fixed, and that just translated to no video games!
Jesus f*cking Christ . He would even tolerate one of Phil’s old man shows at this point!
Tommy groaned as he stood up. The sound of knees cracking and popping slightly disturbing to his ears in the otherwise void of sound house.
Yawning while splaying out his arms wide, Tommy then retreated down the second story stairs. Expertly dodging the hole he’d made into the basement below, and scanning the fridge for anything .
Sh*t. Guess he would be going into Fundy’s stash of cup noodles.
Melancholic movements set the jug to boil. Groaning once again, Tommy then spun around to rest his elbows on the tabletop counter. Running a hand through untamed blond hair as he-
A car pulled up to the front of the street. Or more specifically, a van .
Straightening up and feeling his eyes widen slightly, Tommy tracked it with his eyes.
Was someone else back home from the holidays early? It certainly wasn’t Phil or Schlatt, they wouldn't be in something as small as that after all!
Three shadowy figures made their way out from the vehicle, as it parked directly in front of his house .
“Guh-” choking on something , Tommy watched as the three people began to slowly creep closer and closer and CLOSER -
Lights- turn on the f*cking LIGHTS !
Tommy was not no pussy! If it was old man Halo and his goons, then there was no f*cking way the great TommyInnit would cower like a little b*tch!
Swallowing down his fear and agitation, Tommy rushed towards the flight of stairs leading to the basement. Nearly tripping over the feathered remains of pillows he’d destroyed as he leapt. Knowing that if he was correct- and he always f*cking was- they’d go in through the back door .
—————
Dream crept forwards with remarkable stealth regarding the giant crowbar in his grasp. Besides him slunk Sapnap and George, both doing the same.
Finally . He thought with a gleam in his eyes. Finally he would be richer than ever! They could probably buy a f*cking mansion with all the money from this steal, and if they got away with the rest of the street, maybe even two ! Snickering to themselves, the three then slid down a small stairs to an almost hidden back door.
Perfect ! Nobody would be able to tell that they’d broken in, until the family was back! And by then… Dream chuckled. By then they would be long gone.
“Shh!” George made his way to the front of the group as they finally got to the door. Shouldering past the others as he went with a grin. “ I’ll do the honours of taking the doorknob!”
F*ck he was f*cking itching with anticipation . Dream could barely contain his glee as it was so f*cking close if he reached out he could practically touch -
Lights flickered on, and the group flinched back. George nearly toppling over with fright as it was the Christmas lights that had done so, but the indoor ones.
So either the old man had been lying or…
“They f*cking got home early !”
Sapnap stumbled up the stairs after hissing out the words they had all thought, and soon the group was moving in a mad dash towards the van. Just as they’d gone too the rest of the house lights flickered on, and just before they peeled away Dream could have sworn he saw a small figure illuminated by the window.
Heavy breathing resounded throughout the car as they drove. The triple got to the end of the street to collect themselves, as the other empty houses stood motionless around them as if taunting them at their failure.
“ F*ck !”
Hissing out the words, Dream slammed a fist into the car’s dashboard.
Oh yeah. He was f*cking seething .
Nails pierced his skin as Sapnap’s groan from behind them slowly turned into a gutural shriek. George by his side still breathing in and out heavily.
What the absolute f*ck had happened?! The Minecraft’s weren’t meant to still be around! They watched the family f*cking leave . Unless they had paid for a house sitter, it should have been impossible for someone to still be in there!
But it also couldn’t be a house sitter. It’d clearly been a child at the window, and they were moving so it wasn’t as if it was just some weird shadow!
What was he missing ?!
Grinding his teeth together, Dream glared at the house in question. The burning hatred in his eyes somehow made its way to the boy inside.
The boy who was all Home Alone.
—————
Tommy woke up the next morning totally exhausted.
Woo. Christmas Eve already, and he’d already had to fight off home invaders!
Was this what Phil had to deal with every year?!
He was hungry, so he would have more cup noodles. There was nobody telling him that it was an ‘unhealthy breakfast’, so of course, Tommy didn’t f*cking care.
He couldn’t survive off noodles forever though, and there was no way in hell that he would eat any of Techno’s army rations that were the most untasty things in the entire f*cking world .
So, Tommy would go shopping.
Part two electric boogaloo time!
Once in the store alone Tommy finally could see how much better it was without a hoard of brothers around to annoy him.
Squinting over the trolley and forcing himself not to look at the people who stared at him, Tommy just continued about his work.
Milk?
Check.
Eggs?
Check.
Pancakes and syrup?
Check.
Mac and cheese?
Check.
Ice cream…
Well, maybe just one tub for now. Better not blow it all as quickly as he did before!
Tommy hummed to himself while piling assorted items into his trolley. More and more people would stare as he walked by them, and once at the register the attendant seated there gave him an analysing look.
The purple guy seemed to have some kind of alien mutation or something. Neat.
“That’ll be… forty-two dollars and ninety-nine cents.”
Tommy huffed, and then began to count out the money silently.
Sheesh Techno! He sure has been holding out on us for a while !
Purpled watched with more dissatisfaction as Tommy finished giving him the money. Leveling a scanning glare over his figure which made the boy sneer.
“What’d you want, ey b*tch?”
The teen employee lurched back at the language. The shocked expression over his face shifting quickly back into that of boredom.
“Does your Ma know you say those words?”
Tommy sneered harder. Glaring with as much rage as his child's body could give.
“ My Ma is dead , f*ckhead. And I really need to get these home to my dad or we might f*cking starve to death, so bye .”
Tommy shoved his way out of the store. Taking the plastic bags filled with groceries with him.
“That f*cking d*ckhead ,” he mumbled underneath his breath, “he should be f*cking fired or some sh*t for asking customers questions like that!”
On autopilot to walk home, TommyInnit didn’t notice the van he passed by.
Or at least he didn’t . Not until the van slowly began to inch it’s way over, and he finally looked up from his inner debate to notice the three figures inside.
F*ck.
Dream nearly spat out his sandwich in shock.
“Dream? Hellooo. Dream. You okay?”
It couldn’t be.
The was not f*cking way -
Dream had attempted to memorise all of the denizens of the Minecraft house, but had easily been overwhelmed with the sheer amount of kids.
However, the blond boy who had caused a great ruckus somehow stood prominent in his mind.
The blond boy who was walking only five feet away !
“No f*cking way…”
George looked over in the direction he was looking at. Spotting the kid, but not seeing anything particularly unique about him as Sapnap munched behind them on his own ham and cheese.
“Uh. Dream?” George turned to him with a question look in his eyes, but Dream’s mind was furiously racing.
That kid was surely the same one from the window who he had seen as they’d left last night. If he was still here but the family wasn’t meant to be…
Either, the family hadn’t gone on their trip at all, or the kid was home alone .
A smile formed over Dream’s face slowly as he switched on the ignition with a single blue key. His eyes were focused on the boy and-
No doubt about it.
That was him .
What had Philza called him, Thomas? No. Tommy?
“Dream? You alright?”
Sapnap had looked away from his sandwich as the car began to roll, and finally, Dream shared his thoughts with the other members of the van.
“That’s one of the brats from the Minecraft home.” The two of them gave him questioning stares, which Dream huffed at. “You know, the one from last night?”
Finally a look of recognition had begun to appear on their faces.
Tommy was carrying grocery bags, but there was no way that any sort of responsible parent would let a child go out and buy that sort of stuff on their own!
And especially with the whole hoard of kids that Phil had, wouldn’t he have given a grocery run to someone more responsible and older?
“I think that he’s all alone at home. The one who scared us off last night was just a kid .”
“Huh?” George gave him a concerned look. Raising an eyebrow as he faced Dream rather than the Minecraft boy.
“Why would they leave him home alone?” Sapnap spoke curiously. George nodding along and causing Dream to sneer slightly with a huff.
“I mean- I don’t know. Maybe he snuck out from a daycare or something? Point is, I think we should tail him, and go back tonight. What kind of kid would expect to be robbed on Christmas Eve, huh?”
Sapnap snickered at that. Accidentally elbowing George in the head and he slung himself over the front seats of the car. “Yeah. Probably’ll think we’re Santa Claus or something!”
Dream began to drive forwards. Travelling in the direction of the MInecraft family’s house.
No brat would get in the way of his robbery!
Tommy gobbled down a blackforest chocolate bar as he walked. A little treat for himself as a congratulatory gift for his first round of shopping as a single homeowner.
Although…
A grin came to his face. Tommy’s cheeks lighting up a faint red.
Probably wouldn’t be single for long with how the ladies would be flocking after him!
Something caught his eye from the edge of his vision. A van moving down the road at a slower pace from normal.
Tommy shrugged. Probably just someone looking for a particular address or something.
Chucking it back to the bottom of his mind, Tommy continued on his way to the home. It was close anyway.
But something just felt off .
Finding himself unable to resist the allure of curiosity, Tommy turned his head to look back at the vehicle.
The man at the front was the police officer from before, and both next door and behind him, there were two other figures that Tommy would bet money would fit the descriptions of the shadowy figures he’d seen last night.
F*ck.
His blood ran ice cold.
They were f*cking tracking him. Maybe the police knew that he’d gotten rid of his family-
No. That man probably wasn’t even a f*cking officer in the first place!
The chocolate bar fell to the ground. Half eaten goodness entirely gone to waste.
Tommy sweated, and began to walk faster.
To his chagrin and terror, the van then sped up too !
They were f*cking following him!
Was this a kidnapping? One of the things that Techno always prepared for in case of dire emergencies?! Murderers looking to desecrate his corpse and mount him on the wall like a taxidermy deer head?!
F*ck they must have been wanting him for ages if the blond guy driving had scouted out their house dressed as a policeman-
F*ck ! The f*cking house could get destroyed now that it was finally his!
At this point, Tommy was just f*cking running all out. Fleeing to get away from his captors that were still catching up because they were in a f*cking machine -
He’d need a goddamned miracle to get out of this one!
So Tommy scrunched up his eyes, and ran head first into a burly man’s chest.
The van drove past him. Slowing down as it went.
Blinking away tears, Tommy looked up ready to thank or at least just acknowledge the person who’d just f*cking saved his life -
Standing tall and strong, BadBoyHalo stared back down at him. Eyes blazing like pits of hellfire as they captured him and brought him down.
So, doing what any sane person would do, Tommy opened his mouth to begin to let loose a scream.
“aHH-!”
“AH!”
And Mr Halo shrieked back .
“ Puff, puff - you- puff - f*cking b*tch -!”
Tommy didn’t f*cking know why the demon hybrid had just fell back in surprise, but even though he was trembling let it be known that TommyInnit was no pussy!
(Barring the incident during which he hid underneath Phil’s bed. Nobody could speak about that .)
BadBoyHalo turned red, his posture puffing up while he gasped and f*ck Tommy was going to be f*cking dead because of his stupid f*cking mouth-
“ Language ! What kind of- does your father know you swear?!”
Tommy blinked at the high pitched voice.
What. The. F*ck.
BadBoyHalo, the ‘scariest man on the street’ who took little children who misbehaved - pouted like the most terrifying overgrown toddler he had ever f*cking seen .
All because he f*cking swore ?!
The van circled back, but passed by the two of them. Tommy felt a droplet of sweat trickle down his back while the hybrid before him was still complaining.
“I just can't believe that Phil would let you out to take groceries all by yourself! I’d thought he was at least a little bit capable as a father when I first gave him some friendly welcome neighbour muffins but nooo . Apparently he lets his youngest child out to fetch food !”
Ranting with exuberant armwaves, BadBoyHalo finally stopped and thought something to himself for a moment.
This was an opportunity to escape but…
Okay. Tommy just really wanted to know how this would end, okay?
“What the- what the f*ck ?!”
Mr Halo gasped again.
“ Language ! You shouldn’t be saying those words!” The man’s height was suddenly less scary now. In fact, everything about him was less scary now.
Tommy sneered up at Mr Halo. Still slightly nervous but able to hide it behind bravo.
“I ain’t no child, b*tch!”
Another gasp came from the man, and Tommy began to wonder if he would just keep on inhaling and grow like a helium balloon.
As the man carried on with a tirade about swearing, Tommy found himself relaxing slightly.
Was this really the man who he’d been afraid of his entire life? Wilbur and Techno must had been f*cking pranking him from the beginning to make him ever believe that someone this strange was a psychopath!
Or, maybe he was a psycho, but just in the way that made him want to try and set a ton of rules up.
Mr Halo finished his rant off with a wagging finger, and Tommy began to walk on his way back home. Ideas coursing through his brain about the many possibilities open for tonight when he’d protect the house.
Because that was exactly what he was going to do .
BadBoyHalo stopped him just before Tommy could walk away. A concerned look suddenly over the man’s face making him stop in his tracks,
“Kid… I-” he huffed to himself. A massive clawed arm raising up to scratch against the back of his neck. Eyes found their way back to Tommy’s own, and the red didn’t seem so dangerous this time.
“I saw that van was following you so-” trailing off, BadBoyHalo sighed. So he had seen it! Was that why he’d even come over in the first place? “Just… stay safe, okay?”
Mr Halo sent him a pleading look with a surprising amount of puppy-dog-ness to them.
Totally strange to see from a sprawling demon hybrid but okay then.
Tommy snorted. Spinning around to go back home, and raising a hand in lew of a wave.
“See ya, b*tch.”
Smirking, Tommy carried on back home. The sounds of BadBoyHalo's shout of language echoing through his mind with every step.
—————
He was home, and finally the nerves hit Tommy.
It was about mid afternoon and he deserved that Mac and cheese he’d just bought, so that would be lunch.
Tommy went about the movements to make it, and when it finally was all dished up and on a plate in front of him, the potential consequences of being stalked by murderers/child traffickers hit him all at once.
Sh*t.
What if they came for him tonight ?!
… he would be f*cked.
Dumped in a ditch, or taken to a hobo murder basement choose your pick.
Gritting his teeth, Tommy dug into the food before him.
While he devoured the Mac and cheese however, a glint caught his eye from a particular point in the kitchen.
Tommy stopped chewing.
Had he… just gotten an idea ?!
The basement floors gleamed from the hole. The concrete below glistened as Tommy feverishly finished his food, and set out his plans.
A mischievous grin flickered over the boy’s face. Gradually growing more and more with every stroke of his pencil on one of Wil’s clean canvases.
Never let it be said that TommyInnit was a pussy.
He was the biggest man there was, and this would prove to everyone that he was not just a child!
—————
Tommy hurdled over the house, setting up trap after trap with all the ingenuity he could muster.
One of Phil’s bedroom rugs was draped over the basement hole as his first order of business, while next up was the tricky stuff.
The hallway clock spun its hands as Tommy set up devious device after device.
Orange juice was slicked over stairs to every level. Marbles were hazardous scattered over the floors around every window that a human body could possibly fit through.
Techno’s room had become a godsend and for once, Tommy wasn’t as ashamed of his two brothers for having such random hobbies.
A tripwire was connected to Ranboo’s hairspray, paint set over a door so that it’d tip if pushed further than slightly ajar…
Maybe he shouldn’t add one of Phil’s lighters to that to make a flamethrower, it could end with someone being seriously injured!
Tommy chuckled. Rigging up the lighter in such a way that if the tripwire were used, it would go off.
Served them right for trying to kill him!
But it was already about mid afternoon, so he better hurry .
Tommy set the largest pot they owned to boil, and duct tape was placed. So were mannequins, canvases, and boxes…
6:00PM. It was beginning to turn dark .
Tommy was starting to sweat a little. Eggs, syrup, nails and blankets were placed, and he breathed heavily to himself.
He’d just f*cking spent hours making traps for kidnappers that may never come.
“F*ck it…” muttering under his breath, Tommy then began to pour pancake mix into a pan. His house, his rules baby! And his rules said that pancakes were a totally acceptable food for dinner.
Bubbles spouted out from the boiling water on his stove, and Tommy clicked it off. Leaving it there for later. Wires had been ripped out from faulty appliances, and were on him at the ready.
Then in the silence of an empty house, he began to munch on slightly raw pancakes, alone.
He would never admit it… but Tommy might have, sort of, kind of, missed his family. No matter how annoying they really were.
Tommy hid the knives in the bottom drawer. Piling tea towel upon tea towel on top of them. The crossbow he’d stolen from Techno was in his right hand, and his shoulders sported the pink splattered jacket.
…
The revving of a van’s engine, which was painfully familiar, echoed over the street.
…
Showtime .
—————
Showtime .
Dream licked his lips in anticipation as they drove into a car park before the Minecraft’s house. His fingers squeezed greedily over the wheel as he parked, and George and Sapnap nudged each other with their crowbars jovially with a clink.
Dream’s eyes were locked on target as they sneaked out of the van. Timed Christmas light flickered on in a pattern as the trio slunk over to the front of the house, before freezing.
A large shadow stood before the front window. A halo cast over it by the brightly shining lights behind the humanoid figure.
Sapnap jabbed Dream’s shoulder cautiously. Practically hissing words in his ear as the three raced to cover.
“I thought you said the kid was home alone . Who the f*ck is this dude?!” Gesturing out to the figure frantically, Sapnap then ducked behind the doors frame.
George shivered next to him. Glasses glinting in the darkness as he whispered.
“Yeah! What the f*ck just happened ?!”
Dream didn’t know the answer to any of these things, but something still felt off about the whole thing. Even as he breathed heavily from fear of a potential discovery.
Yeah. Something just didn’t add up .
The shadow was as unmoving as it was unnatural, so maybe instead of it being a person…
A wiry grin came to Dream’s face, even as he kicked back the embarrassment from having been tricked by a kid.
“ I think…” Dream jumped out in one fluid movement, making the two behind him gasp and hiss at him to come back. The smirk grew wider. Just as he’d expected, the figure didn’t move .”
“What the f*ck are you doing ?!” George whispered to Dream as he waltzed back merrily.
“I thought it didn’t add up… it’s some kind of cardboard cut out or something!”
And the other two’s faces gradually began to change to happiness.
This robbery was now on .
The Dream team walked up to the house's front door, and with practised ease, Dream began to knock and speak.
“Why hello sir! I’m from the neighborhood presents company, and me and my associates wanted to offer you a couple of gifts for no cost at all!” Dream smiled with friendliness, and peered through the door’s peephole to find no line of sight at all.
“Yeah!” George pushed over to his side. Hiding his crowbar directly behind his back as both Dream and Sapnap were doing. “We’re here to- uh- give you toys !”
Sapnap snickered quietly.
Total silence resonated from the door, but just before Dream could knock again, a nasally voice spoke up from the other side.
“Free… presents?”
F*ck . Dream choked on his own spit at how young the voice sounded. F*cking hell this kid was just a child ! Things would be so much easier, and now with someone naive and stupid enough, they might even get the top choice tour guide for help in finding just what to steal!
“Yeah, kid. We’ve got nerf guns,sport balls, a PlayStation-”
“A PlayStation ?!”
The kid’s voice interrupted Sapnap with what sounded like disbelief, and it made the man in question give off a predatory smile.
“Yeah. We’ve got lots of toys.”
A click sounded from within the house, and the doorknob twisted. Not being the sort of person to miss a chance, Dream rushed to push it open.
But he yanked it too quickly to notice that there was something now in the door’s way, and that the door which had previously been a push, was now a pull .
That f*cking kid had swapped the hinges around. How did one even do that?!
The thin piece of wood broken off from a canvas that had been inserted through the door snapped with the amount of strength that Dream had put into the push, and splinters of wood happened to hit the closest unlucky person.
Wood shattered the glass of one of George’s glasses, causing the man to flinch back and yelp in fear. Maniacal laughter came from behind the door as the trio stared at George in shock, and the young voice spoke out once again mockingly.
“You ain’t getting in you mother f*ckers !”
F*ck. F*ck . He was going to f*cking kill that kid for tricking them twice!
George looked strange with only one lense of glass, but there was no time for dilly dallying!
Dream sneered. Glaring holes into the doorframe.
“That f*cking bastard- I’m going f*cking KILL YOU-!”
Slamming a hand over Sapnap’s mouth before he could finish his yelling, Dream hissed out the new plan.
“I’m going through the back door, Sapnap goes in through the window or some sh*t. Find that f*cking kid.”
And they set off on their journey.
Dream trudged angrily through crunching snow down to the back entryway to the house. Eyes aflame with burning anger.
How f*cking dare a brat do that to George! He was going to teach him a lesson-
Upon getting to the stairs down however, he neglected to grab ahold of the railing before hand-
“eHHHHUP-!”
-and then he promptly proceeded to slip down eight stairs to land directly onto his ass.
“F*CK!”
That f*cking hurt -
Eyes trailed over to see an orange hue over the snow.
Definitely not natural.
That f*cking kid had done it again -
Dream was now just f*cking pissed .
Scrabbling up to his feet, the man then forcefully grabbed the doorknob and twisted vigorously. The action caused the door to swing open with a loud smash as it hit and smacked the wall it was attracted to.
Well, Dream didn’t care about his house or the kid, so why try to be nice.
There didn't seem to be any light illuminating the space at all, apart from a few faint patches from what were indistinguishable sources. However, the lit up crack of a clear door could be seen up a barely viewable flight of stairs leading to the top.
Bingo …
“I’m here…” snarling under his breath with a feral grin, Dream then began his limp through the lowest floor, leg and butt still sore from the rough landing.
All of a sudden, a close scream burst through the darkness, and light entered his vision as a leg seemingly appeared out of nowhere in the roof.
A scream and leg that were both visibly belonging to Sapnap .
Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and Dream began to stumble and race up to the stairs to get up and save his friend-
“I’M COMING SAPNAP! I’LL BE THERE-!”
And part way up the stairs, Dream slipped again .
“uHHHUU- HUK -!”
And for the second- time that day, Dream had fallen back down onto the floor.
Except this time, it was concrete. And he’d landed directly on his back.
Stiff as a board, Dream moaned in pain once.
That kid was as good as dead when he got to him!
~
“Robbing a house~ beating up kids~”
Sapnap chortled silently at the improvised song he was singing.
Who cared if it was f*cking violent! Violence was practically his middle name at this point.
And it wasn’t as if the kid didn’t deserve it for what he’d done to George, Sapnap mused with a smirk.
I mean- he hurt George ! Now they’d have extra incentive to rob this place, along with the sheer amount of cash they’d grab.
“Ooo, jackpot!~” spotting a window ajar from where he was, Sapnap then made his way to it.
The impromptu song could maybe wait for later, he supposed.
So with an eager grin on his face, and energy in his step, Sapnap pushed the window forwards and shimmed down a counter to get his feet on the ground.
Then he discovered his first problem.
His boots slipped on marbles scattered across the floor, and Sapnap lost his balance.
“ Sh*t -”
So before he could completely topple over and whack his head on the countertop, Sapnap reached out frantically to grab the first thing he could reach…
Which unfortunately for him, was the pot of boiled water.
A howl burst forth through his lips as the feeling on the hot metal hit first, before all he could do was watch in slow motion as water poured out onto him.
“F*CK-!”
Sh*t it hurt so f*cking BAD !
Sapnap was not in full control of himself because of the pain, and it was because of this that he consequently then tripped and fell leg first into a hole in the floor.
He screamed involuntarily. Something that sounded like Dream echoed through his mind before a sudden thud, and then was raging while in pain. The adrenaline coursed through his veins with each pump of his heart.
“I’ll f*cking KILL YOU, KID!”
And then, there was George.
~
“ Ow - that f*cking- ouch !”
A small stream of blood trickled down and into George’s eye from a cut by wood splinters.
Now that both Dream and Sapnap are gone, however, it would probably be best if he were to go inside of the house.
You know. Do his job for once, maybe.
The first problem was discovered when George touched the doorknob, and a large electrical shock was administered. The volts making his arm seize up, and George clutched at it in pain and surprise.
“ Ow !”
Glaring at the door handle with both disappointment and distrust, George then wrapped his shirt around his hand and opened it that way.
The entry room was empty apart from a creepy mannequin, and what seemed to be a whole host of torn wires tied onto the doorknob. Guess that was what made the shock then.
Sighing dejectedly at his luck, George then pushed open the next door to get to what was hopefully the main room.
His foot hit a tripwire, and something squirted down on him before a fan blew into George’s face.
Screaming echoed from the other room from either Sapnap or Dream.
But right now, George was covered in syrup and feathers.
Like a chicken .
Stumbling over blearily, George then frantically made his way to the doorway. Wiping syrup out from his eyes to try and see.
Then, he howled with pain as nails stabbed directly through his left foot.
Holy F*CK ! F*CKING HELL IT WAS-
George shrieked as he shook his foot in agony. Blood dripped down onto the floorboards as he painfully peeled off his shoe with a tearing sound.
“THAT KID-!”
~
Dream grinned to himself, finally having made his way up the stairs through the help of a steady grasp on the rails, and some rope he’d found attached to the other side.
Too f*cking easy kid!
Yeah.
Dream laughed with an insane edge to the chuckles.
He had been lucky so far! Nothing else but pure f*cking luck .
Giggling, Dream pushed open the door. Barging through, and promptly getting splattered with an entire bucket filled with green paint.
A moment of silence passed, and Dream wiped the gunk from his eyes. Rage at at all time high, while still being deadly calm.
He was f*cking smothered in it.
~
George came into view covered in feathers, and arm twitching like crazy. The mismatched lenses of his glasses giving a messy appearance to what would have otherwise been an elaborate chicken cosplay.
Sapnap himself looked as if he’d suffered through disasters forbidden to mankind. Shining red skin like a lobster glistened as the man shuffled over, his leg scrapped with cuts and bruises.
George settled him with a dumb look.
“Why are you yellow , Dream?!”
“HEY F*CKHEADS! LOOKING PRETTY SH*T , EY?!”
All three pairs of eyes in the room incredulously snapped to the voice in question.
There, upon the top of the staircase, stood a blond haired boy with a triumphant grin and stained jacket.
The rage was f*cking brutal .
“GET OVER HERE YOU F*CKING-!” Stumbling over, Sapnap practically scuttled to his feet as he got to the stairs with George and Dream hot on his tail.
“I’ll f*cking slaughter you-!” Eyes gone red with raw anger, Dream directed it to the young boy who’d been the cause of all of their misfortunes. Racing forwards as well, and grasping onto the stair’s rails in case of anymore orange juice trickery.
But none of them noticed the marbles .
—————
Tommy laughed uproariously with glee as the men fell over each other in their rush to get to him.
Dodging over cracked eggs on the floor, Tommy then flicked a tripwire to get a satisfactory twang from the taunt line.
His grin grew two fold.
F*cking perfect ! Everything was working out so well so far, absolutely nothing could get in his way!
That police pretender was covered in paint, the glasses guy was a chicken, and that window guy probably wasn’t burned too badly.
All in all, a perfect haul!
“‘Ello? 999?” Tommy forced his voice to sound more gruff as he dialled the police. “I’ve got three men robbing my house right about now. I’m at 676 Lincoln ave. Please hurry.” Hanging up with a giggle, Tommy then raced over the eggs and tripwire to get to the attic stairs. Grining as the three robbers fumbled over each other as they made their way up the stairs.
They stopped and stared at him. Each angry, and worse for wear as he smirked before cupping his lips and yelling out to them.
“Come and get me, stupid b*tches!”
And with a roar, they charged. Tripping over the wires and landing down onto eggs.
Taking one final look over his masterpiece, Tommy then quickly stumbled up the stairs to the top floor. Taking Techno’s loaded crossbow from the tabletop he’d set it on beforehand.
Ranboo’s Axolotl stared at him from his tank as Tommy set book after book in front of the door. Duct tape also serving as another measure to make sure that the door could not be-
THUMP THUNK
“Sh*t-!”
Startled by the sound of what seemed to be kicking on the door, Tommy retreated back slightly with every booming hit that rattled the boxes covering it. The duct tape was beginning to fray and snap.
“Surely they can’t…” all he had to do was wait for the police to arrive that was all he had to do and things would be fine -
Silence for a moment.
Tommy breathed a sigh of relief, brushing the sweat off of his forehead.
FFFU DDOOK !
The boxes flew across the room, and Tommy shrunk back breathing hard.
Oh f*ck -!
Towards the window get away GET AWAY -!
“There you are you little sh*t .”
A hand grabbed his arm and flung him against the wall.
“ Oof !”
Sh*t! Tommy sneered in panic as he frantically scanned for a way out.
Until finally, he was dragged to make eye contact with all three of the home invaders.
Pure. F*cking. Rage .
Green paint dripped over the floor at the same time as feathers drifted down.
F*ck.
“So. What’d you think we should do to him, ey George? Sapnap?.”
The burnt one spoke up first with a hatred filled smile.
“ I say we boil him !”
Tommy needed anything just something to get him out of there -!
“Stab him in the legs with nails !”
Wait… could that-?!
Ranboo’s Axolotl stared back with dull eyes as Tommy began to reach out. Trying his best to move despite the force of the adults against him.
“After all this, I say we kill him.”
Green eyes made contact with his, as the other two on his side faltered at the words.
“ Kill him?!”
NOW!
Groaning, Tommy frantically grasped the edge of the Axolotl tank with his fingertips, and pulled it over to cause for the yellow creature, and his water, to pour all over the three.
“What the f*ck-?!”
“SEE YA, B*TCHES!”
Scrambling out from their grasp as they yelled for him to get back, Tommy fled with all of the adrenaline and non-pussyness he could muster to get free.
“GET BACK HERE!”
“Hey this thing’s kind of cute- OW- !”
Grinning mischievously as he made his way to the window, Tommy once again made eye contact with the paint covered one who hadn’t been yet to speak and glared with utter hatred and scorn.
Tommy gave him the finger, and with one final adrenaline fueled chuckle, fell out of the window.
Backwards .
As he fell Tommy twisted around, grabbing onto the Christmas lights to swing and- he was like f*cking Tarzan with this sh*t!
Landing back down onto solid ground, kneeling into it so that the shock wouldn’t hinder him too badly, Tommy then locked eyes towards a target he’d practised and prepared for for ages.
Two of the trio were already halfway out the window. Yelling profanities as they went.
Huffing to himself, TommyInnit grinned. Raising the crossbow so that his vision was directly aligned with the arrow, as it’s wooden frame rested near his cheek bone. Smile still over his face, Tommy arched forwards and pulled the trigger…
Thunk !
The target was hit, and the Christmas lights which hadn’t yet set off despite the timer, burst on with a beam of light.
And the reason why they hadn’t turned on, was the fact that they didn’t exactly belong to him .
“ACK-!”
“YES! HELL YEAH!”
Crackling electricity generated from battery powered light, electrocuting the men who seized and trembled from the force of volts powering into their bodies-
Pumping a fist skywards, Tommy hooted with joy.
He’d done it! He had successfully defeated criminals on Christmas Eve, just in time for Santa to come!
Just in time for Santa…
Huh. He hadn’t really been the best this year. Had he.
Tommy was unable to see the figure creeping up on him. Too lost in his thoughts as he dawned on a new revelation.
He hadn’t… he’d yelled at Phil .
Made a mess in the house, been absolutely f*cking awful to Wil and Techno-
He’d been rude to Tubbo and Ranboo too. They hadn’t deserved f*cking any of the sh*t he’d done this year! All the pranks that had backfired on them because of him, all the messes they’d helped him clean up…
Huh. This was awful now that there was no one around.
No matter how annoying and stuck up they were…
They were still his-
“You mother f*cker ,” Tommy gasped as green stained hands yanked him down to the snow, and a foot stomped on his chest painfully .
Wheezing out a swear, he looked up with panicked eyes to see the man standing above him glaring down with a piercing glare and smile.
From what the other two had said before, Tommy thought his name was Dream.
Oh sh*t -!
“You couldn’t just f*cking be a good little boy and let us in, could you!” Dream laughed with maniacal abandonment. Twirling his crowbar around menacingly.
Tommy starred. Blinking frantically as he looked around for anything to save him.
Stall- stall !
“You f*cking-! You were the ones that broke in -!”
A wheeze broke through his throat as the foot on his chest pressed down harder. Cutting him off from what he’d been about to say to the other.
“Ohoho ho . Blame game, huh? Well, here’s what I have to say.” Smiling crazily, the man lifted his crowbar above his head.
F*ck. Was this where it all ended?
Freezing cold snow surrounded him. Would either even look for his body? With nobody to care for them, why would the police?!
“You are f*cking worthless ! An inconvenience to everyone! I'll tell you what- when those idiots wake up, we’ll f*cking torture you like you did to us before killing you, and dumping you in a-”
Oh god. Oh f*ck . Was this really the end?! Was he going to be…?!
“But first, I think that I’ll KNOCK you WITH-!”
Tommy shut his eyes in fear as the crowbar raced down at him. Life flashing before his eyes, and a clang sounded as an iron shovel broke its path with a clang.
“What the-”
BONG
Dream crumpled down into the snow next to Tommy. His eyes rolled back far into his head.
Tommy cracked an eye open, unbelieving of the sight above him.
BadBoyHalo panted with a snow shovel in hand. Eyes blazing red as he stared down at the green coated body beneath him.
Then, those eyes made contact with him.
Tommy grinned wildly with relief.
—————
After Mr Halo had checked up on his health and Tommy had explained (most of) the situation, and he’d said about police being on their way, the two had dragged over the three unconscious men to the neighbor’s house of 676 Lincoln ave.
Dream had been the easiest one, as he was already down on the snow, so it was just the simple matter of dragging him over and binding him in duct tape by the entrance.
Sapnap and George (if those were their names at all) were a bit harder, however. He’d had to guide BadBoyHalo up his stairs who had marveled at the state of his house, and then they’d had to detangle the two from the Christmas lights he’d taken out of a storage box.
Tommy had guided Mr Halo through well enough the first time, but when taking the two criminals back down it was a different story.
BadBoyHalo had accidentally walked into the flamethrower trap.
Whoopsie.
Luckily however, as a demon hybrid the man was immune to flames.
Unluckily , however, the two in his arms were decidedly not .
Guess George and Sapnap were now all f*cking bald then with a few singe marks to match.
Serves them right!
Tommy had grinned at the police cruiser as it carted the three away. It had conveniently arrived before any of the officers inside could have seen him or Mr Halo, but Tommy had still winked at it as it took them away.
The house was now a bit of a wreck, but nothing too bad that he hadn’t cleaned up before, Tommy had decided when sweeping up feathers.
Paint was a bit worse to deal with, but hardly anyone would ever go into the attic, so the slight stains on the ground were good enough.
Ranboo’s Axolotl was also an absolute champ , as it had somehow managed to get in a meager amount of water and survive, while still remaining by the thankfully intact tank.
All Tommy had to do was fill it back up with water, and things were good to go!
Nails were picked up, and so were the marbles that scattered across the floors. Stairs were mopped up, and so was all syrup and eggs.
Tripwires were then carefully pulled down and back in Technoblade’s collection, while the same was done with all of Wilbur’s salvageable resources.
And as soon as it was done, things were finished.
The house was sparkling clean, and now that Tommy was done he just felt…
Exhausted.
So, sitting down before the fireplace and basking in its warmth, Tommy wrote a letter to Santa.
Dear Santa.
I don’t really care about what presents you give me, but please give me back my family. I’m sorry for being such a b*tch.
Tommy
Short and simple.
Blinking out tears from his eyes, Tommy then placed the letter in the middle of the fireplace. Staring at a few moments, before yawning.
Huh. Sleep would probably do good for him. Yeah.
So walking through the empty house, Tommy lay down in Phil’s bed to promptly fall asleep. Curling up in the blankets as he did so.
Yeah. For once…
He’d done good .
—————
Tommy cautiously crept down the stairs. 10AM sunlight streaming in through the windows as he moved towards the tree blearily.
Huh. Nothing there.
Tired eyes spotted the empty fireplace without a single letter to be seen.
…
A door opened.
…
What the f*ck?!
…
“ Tommy ?!”
It was- it was Philza f*cking Minecraft standing there at the doorway.
Tommy couldn’t breathe.
Oh god. PHIL!
The two raced into each other’s arms, tears streaming from Phil’s eyes.
But… you know. Not Tommy’s eyes. He was no pussy after all.
“I thought- f*ck I’m so sorry, Toms. I didn’t mean to go off at you and f*cking leave you -”
“Schlatt, are you sure he’s here?! Phil would have called if they’d found him-”
“ I don’t know! Phil might not have f*cking told me yet-”
The two stared wide eyed towards the door as the whole family entered.
Wilbur and Techno raced inside spotting him, and just before they could move it was Tubbo who pushed in front to race to give him a hug which bowled Tommy over.
“Big man! You alright?!”
They were all laughing and catching up, Phil was saying how he hadn’t expected the others to get there at the same time as him because of some flight or some sh*t-
But it didn’t matter .
He was f*cking happy to see them all! What a change!
Laughing, he hugged Tubbo back. Beginning to talk to the rest of his family gleefully as they filled up the room and looked around the house.
Finally. Dysfunctional as it was, this was his family .
Tommy grinned as Phil checked that he was alright and unhurt. Smiling brightly as people shared their stories of the short while they’d been in America.
However, this was until Wilbur raced down the stairs. Eyes blazing in rage.
“Tommy, what f*ck did you do to my ART STUDIO ?!”
Yep! This was how he wanted to spend his Christmas!