Chapter Text
A gust of cool Autumn wind numbed his fingers, inky black seeping across the horizon. There was a terrible looming sensation in his stomach, a reminder that the end of the year was drawing nearer. He didn't have long now. He didn't have long enough.
He never did.
This time would be different, he whispered into the wind like a prayer, a promise. This time…
**
Yoongi was pretty sure he was being stalked.
It was a new sensation to be honest. Kind of refreshing. Kind of flattering. He'd never really been noticed before, always the quiet guy in the corner of the room with his head down and grades up. Nobody worth noticing.
Until now.
Maybe he should have been scared but he couldn't bring himself to feel a lick of fear. Maybe because the guy who had been following him was doing a terrible job at being subtle (he'd caught his gaze around six times already) or because he's far too clumsy to be terrifying (really, who manages to knock an entire row of books off a shelf?).
Should he confront him? He turns again, making eye contact with the stranger almost immediately. He was half expecting him to look away, bashful at being caught. What he didn't expect was for him to hold his gaze, a tiny smile curving his pretty lips. Yoongi felt heat in his cheeks, eyes immediately dropping back down to his book as his heart thudded in his chest. What was that? The way the boy had smiled at him… It had seemed familiar, like he was smiling at a friend. Like he knew Yoongi.
Which he didn't. He couldn't. Yoongi would remember if he knew a tall, beautiful, dimpled man.
So back to the stalker theory.
It was almost a relief when his phone buzzed, an excited text from Jungkook announcing that Hoseok had bought tteokbokki from the stall in the city and if he didn't hurry back he would eat his portion too. He threw his books into his bag, swinging it over his shoulder quickly, only to hear a faint oof from somewhere behind him. He spun around to apologise only for the words to die on his lips. The stalker was close, closer than he’d been all day, rubbing his arm as a wince fought the smile on his face. Logically, Yoongi knew he didn't know him, didn’t recognise the man standing in front of him, but there was something about his warm eyes, something in the curve of his brow and the slope of his nose. Something that made his heart race and his fingers tremble.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, stretching his fingers out as though to help soothe the man before he froze, thinking better of it.
“It’s okay,” the stalker chuckled, two dimples popping out on either side of his smile. Was it legal for somebody already so attractive to have even more attractive features just appear out of thin air? If it was, it shouldn’t be.
“I shouldn’t have snuck up on you,” the stranger continued, rubbing the back of his neck self consciously, “I just… you’re really pretty and I’ve seen you around campus before and this may be really weird but… would you maybe want to grab a coffee with me on Friday?”
And oh. Oh .
Of all the things Yoongi had expected to come out of the man’s mouth, that wasn’t on the list.
“Nothing fancy, I’m a broke uni student after all,” his teeth peeked out from between his lips as he chuckled, “there’s a lovely coffee shop close by, Deja Brew , if you’re interested?”
“I…” Yoongi swallowed, head perfectly blank and tongue numb in his mouth. He should probably respond. It was rude not to respond.
“It’s okay if not,” the man’s eyes softened, “It must be super weird for a stranger to just ask you on a date. I’m Namjoon, I do a dual course in creative writing and music production which is why I recognised you.”
Yoongi just nodded, feeling more and more like a fool as the silence stretched on. Namjoon’s face was losing its brightness, his expression drifting into discomfort, and Yoongi wanted nothing more than to reach out and shake his hand, to introduce himself properly and accept his date offer, to smile and strike up a conversation, to be confident in his own skin. But he was nothing more than a socially inept embarrassment who could only pity anyone who stepped into the circle of painful silence he surrounded himself with.
“Are you okay?” Namjoon said softly and Yoongi’s eyes snapped up from where he’d been analysing the colour of the carpet into the direct gaze of the taller man. He nodded quickly, not trusting his throat to choke out anything resembling words at this moment in time.
“I’m sorry for making you nervous,” he continued gently, “if you’re busy Friday I completely understand. Maybe we could do it another time?”
Yoongi nodded so fast he was sure he’d given himself whiplash, the buzzing of the phone in his pocket a welcome distraction as the stalker, Namjoon, walked back to his desk.
It was only when he was back at the dorms, Jungkook waving a tub of tteokbokki in his face, that he realised that he’d just been asked out on a date. A date … A hot, tall, dimpled stranger had asked him, Min Yoongi, on a date.
And he’d fucked it up, just like he fucked up everything else in his life.
***
“We’re staging an intervention.”
Not this again.
“You're coming to the dance team party tonight and we're not taking no as an answer.”
Shit.
He really didn’t want to go. Wasn’t that the point of moving out of your parents house? Not having to do the things you don’t want to do anymore? But there he was, with Jungkook and Hoseok staring down at him just as his parents had done for two decades.
“You really should come out every once in a while, hyung,” Jungkook prodded, “even if you don’t want to hang out with us, being alone in your room every night isn’t healthy.”
“Seems pretty healthy to me,” Yoongi mumbled, “I get plenty of rest, stay hydrated, stay away from all the germs-”
“-stay away from all forms of social interaction?”
“I really don’t wanna go.” he pouted, “I hate socialising and your dance team are always mean to me.”
“The dance team love you,” Hoseok rolled his eyes, trying to pull Yoongi out from under his duvet only for the elder to hiss and cling to the covers even tighter.
“Sejun makes mean comments when I drink and Chan always judges what I wear!”
“Sejun only gets tetchy because you start telling us about your past endeavours in high detail whenever you get drunk,” Jungkook huffed softly, “honestly hyung I could have gotten through life just fine without knowing you’d given head in a public bathr-”
“Okay!” Yoongi shouted, covering his face with his hands. Hoseok took the opportunity to rip the duvet from his bed and throw it in the corner. “Please don’t ever bring that up ever again Jungkook-ah. I'll come and I promise I won’t get drunk, okay?.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep hyung,” Hoseok grinned, steering Jungkook out of the room, “and make sure you wear something nice! Chan will only judge you if you insist on wearing that god awful hoodie again.”
Yoongi wore that god awful hoodie again. Maybe it was just to spite Hoseok. Maybe it was just because it was the comfiest thing he owned and it felt like a safety net against the looming horror of having to socialise with people. Either way he was starting to regret his decision as Chan looked him up and down, an unimpressed expression warring with the forced smile on his face.
He hated parties.
Bodies pushed and pulled in the too small space of the apartment, a haze of smoke and the heavy smell of alcohol suffocating his lungs. Jungkook pushed a red cup into his hand and he lifted it to his lips immediately, the burning familiarity of vodka grounding him instantly. If he could find a seat in a corner, somewhere nobody would want to talk to him or drag him into dancing, then everything would be fine.
He let the crowd push and pull him as he glanced around the room, searching for the perfect environment for a wallflower like him to hide. There was a two seater sofa pushed up against a wall, a girl passed out on one end but the other was free for the taking. Yoongi lunged for it, planting his ass down on the cushioned seat before anyone else could get to it. Knowing his luck he'd end up with a vomiting student on his lap at some point, but for the moment he enjoyed the feeling of being invisible, completely unnoticed by every other soul at this stupid goddamn party-
"Hey."
He almost jumped out of his skin at the deep voice in his ear, hot breath drifting over his neck. When he turned, it was to come nose to nose with Kim Namjoon, the pretty stranger, the stalker.
"Hey," he mumbled back, Namjoon's eyes curving happily at the sound of his voice.
"You speak!" He cheered, still leaning in close enough to be heard over the music, "I'm sorry if I freaked you out the other day at the library."
"You didn't," Yoongi mumbled back, taking a sip of his drink. Didn't they call alcohol liquid courage? He definitely needed some of that if he was going to hold a conversation with a hot-tall-dimpled stalker.
"Oh I'm glad," Namjoon hummed, "Look I know you said you were busy Friday but... Would you want to go out for coffee with me next Monday instead?"
Yoongi blinked, tilting his head to the side so he could look at the boy's eyes, dark and earnest. Why was he persisting? Yoongi was nobody, an outlier. He didn't have a particularly interesting or pretty face, didn't stand out in a crowd, didn't have an infectious or mysterious personality. He just existed, like a speck of dust slowly floating through the air, unnoticed and virtually invisible.
"I can't, I tutor on Monday," he murmured, throwing back the last of his drink, "I gotta go get a refill. Bye, Namjoon."
He practically ran from the room, feeling a pair of dark eyes pierce the back of his head as he left, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around.
What would someone like Kim Namjoon want to do with someone like him anyway?
**
"Absolutely not," Jungkook hissed, lifting his bowl out of reach of wandering hands.
"I'm your hyung" Hoseok whined, turning his pout towards Yoongi, "hyung tell him! He should give food to his hyungs, right? That's the rule!"
Yoongi just groaned, forehead pressed to the dining table. They'd been bickering for what felt like hours, and he loved them, he really did, but he was kind of going through a crisis.
Namjoon had asked him out twice more during the week.
He'd made up an excuse both times, citing a schedule clash each time, but he was beginning to feel guilty about the pretty man's persistence. It wasn't like he didn't want to go on a date with him. He seemed nice enough, and he was handsome.
No, the problem was Yoongi .
The prospect of going out alone with a complete stranger, having to strike up conversation and then sit through the inevitable awkward silences… It churned in his stomach like milk and lemon.
"Hyung, you good?" Hoseok shook his shoulder, a concerned lilt to his usually bright voice. Yoongi glanced up, catching the eyes of his worried dongsaengs and dredging a smile onto his lips.
"Sorry I just… have a lot on my mind."
"Wanna talk about it?" Jungkook mumbled around a mouthful of food.
"It's not like a bad thing…" he scratched the back of his head nervously, finally spilling the events of the last two weeks to his friends. The stalking in the library, the way he'd asked him out, the party, the way he seemed to keep cropping up in Yoongi's life just to invite him on dates.
Hoseok's expression was conflicted, "when you say stalker, do you mean he's following you around? Do we need to call the police?"
"No!" Yoongi blurts out, "No, no it's not that at all! It's like we just keep bumping into each other and whenever we do he asks me out..."
"Oh okay," Hoseok sighed, a relieved smile brightening his face, "he sounds pretty persistent, he must like you hyung."
“Is he being pushy?” Jungkook’s brow furrowed in concern, “hyung if he’s not taking no for an answer that… that can be dangerous you know?”
“It’s not like that,” Yoongi ruffled his hair, a warm feeling in his chest at the protectiveness in Jungkook’s words, “I mean, I haven’t outwardly said ‘no’ I just… keep saying I’m busy.”
“You think he would take a hint,” Jungkook grumbled, stuffing another dumpling in his mouth.
Hoseok managed to swipe a dumpling from his plate, much to the younger’s chagrin, “men are dense, my dear Jungkookie. Taking a hint isn’t in their nature.”
“Maybe I should just say yes,” Yoongi murmured, “he’s hot, he’s sweet and he really wants to go out with me… What’s the worst that can happen?”
“People have layers, hyung,” Jungkook said wisely, “he may seem pretty and nice but if you peel it all back there might be something dark hidden underneath.”
“Why the fuck are you so morbid?” Hoseok groaned, “Yoongi hyung, it’s one date. You’re not gonna find out if he’s nice or not unless you go. It’s Schrodinger’s cat and all that stuff.”
Jungkook paused, “I don’t think that’s how that works.”
“Do I look like a science major to you?”
“You’re dating one.”
“And that’s how I know how the fuck to pronounce Schrodinger .”
“You’re right,” Yoongi interrupted, “I can’t know if the cat is real or not unless I go and find out.”
“Again, that’s not how that work-”
“Exactly!” Hoseok cut off Jungkook’s protest in a cheer, “and if it’s great then good for you, and if it’s not just run away he can’t stop you-”
“-unless he’s a psychopath -”
“-and then you can just forget about him! Everything’s gonna be fine, you don’t need to be nervous.”
Nervous was an understatement.
Yoongi’s hands were clammy and cold as he pushed open the door of the cafe, cringing at the handprints he left behind on the glass. It was warm inside, a dizzying contrast to the cold chill outside that marked the metamorphosis of autumn into winter.
He made his way to the counter, eyes trailing along the few customers sitting inside, but no head of honey hair caught his sight. His watch read five past six. Maybe Namjoon was late. Maybe he had stood him up. Maybe Yoongi should take this as an opportunity to run away, to escape what was sure to be an awkward and terrible experience.
Yoongi was never good at socialising. His natural habitat was the corner of a room, hidden away from any curious souls that may try to strike up a conversation with him. It wasn’t that he disliked conversation per se, he was just terrible at knowing what to say, his only options were mutely nodding along or blurting out garbled nonsense and neither one was great for earning him new friends. Hoseok had been a lucky coincidence, a boisterous dance major that just so happened to need a pianist for an upcoming recital, and with first year Jungkook clinging to his side they’d formed an unlikely, but inseparable friendship.
“Hello, how can I help you?”
Shit, he’d gotten lost in his thoughts and missed the opportunity to escape unseen. He swallowed, glancing up at the barista who was grinning at him brightly. It was a stark contradiction from the usual baristas he met, their eyes dull from hours spent existing as nothing but a cog in the soulless capitalist machine.
“Uh… I… I’ve never actually been here before…”
“Oh that’s okay,” the barista’s voice was velvet smooth and warm, like a cup of hot cocoa, “We have some festive specials for winter if you’re interested. Gingerbread latte, hazelnut hot chocolate, peppermint white hot choco- Oh Namjoon hyung!”
He stiffened as the barista’s smile widened even further, his eyes sparkling at the person who appeared beside Yoongi.
“Hey Taehyung-ah,” a familiar voice chuckled, “hey Yoongi hyung, have you ordered yet?”
Yoongi was just about to answer when the boy gasped, eyes flickering from Namjoon to Yoongi and back again, “hyung, is this him? Is this your date?”
“W-Well…” Yoongi turned to see a blush burnishing the apples of Namjoon’s cheeks, the bridge of his nose. The fact that he was shy now was a welcome view of the boy beyond the confident demeanour he had taken on during their previous exchanges. People have layers as Jungkook had said. But maybe Namjoon’s layers were a positive thing. Maybe there was something good at his centre.
There was only one way to find out. Schrodinger’s cat and all that.
“Yeah, that’s me,” Yoongi offered a tentative smile, “and that gingerbread latte sounds really good. What do you want, Namjoon?”
“Um, I’ll take a hazelnut hot chocolate, please.”
“I’ll have it brought over to your table,” Taehyung’s smile was close to severing his face in two, “have a nice night!”
Namjoon seemed to shake off whatever nerves he’d had at that, glancing around the cafe with a hum, “if we sit at that far table, it’s close enough to the heating to stay warm but close enough to the window that we get a bit of a view.”
“Lead the way.”
He followed Namjoon as they weaved between tables, finally sliding into the wooden seats with a sigh.
“You must be a regular here, huh?” Yoongi smiled, unwinding his scarf.
Namjoon chuckled, unzipping his own coat, “My friend who you just met, Taehyung, he works here most nights so I tend to come to study and he brings me free drinks when the boss isn’t looking.”
“I didn’t take you for a rulebreaker,” Yoongi raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a little bold, “maybe I should have, you did spend weeks stalking me after all.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened, cheeks reddening, “I didn’t stalk you! I’m so sorry if that’s what it looked like hyung, I promise I didn’t I just so happened to see you places and-”
"Don't worry," Yoongi reassured gently, "I was only joking. Your tenacity was appreciated, I tend to overthink and be quite indecisive so the fact that you didn't give up on me was nice."
Namjoon nodded slowly, eyes trailing over Yoongi’s face as though drinking in every detail. It was flustering, he’d never been stared at so intensely before, and yet something warm stirred in his stomach at being so blatantly admired by someone so handsome.
“Why did you finally agree to come on a date?” Namjoon tilted his head curiously, “not that I’m complaining, I’m honoured. But… I was starting to wonder when you were just going to get it over with and reject me outright.”
“I was considering it,” he smiled sheepishly, “I mean you’re gorgeous, I didn’t understand why you would want to take me on a date of all people but-”
“-you’re beautiful,” Namjoon cut in, “don’t sell yourself short Min Yoongi. You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.”
Yoongi could feel a flush flaming across his cheeks, the urge to deny and hide almost overwhelming. Namjoon’s eyes were so wide and earnest, almost pleading with him to accept the compliment, that he couldn’t bring himself to throw it all back in his face.
“Thank you,” he forced out, clearing his throat and fiddling with his fingers, “I guess I said yes because… well because I wanted to? I rarely get asked out and you’re cute and I thought you’d be fun to hang out with but… you’re a stranger so I was also scared that this date would be awkward and weird.” He huffed out a nervous laugh, “My friend Hoseok convinced me that I would only find out if this date sucked or not if I actually went on it. You know, Schrodinger’s cat and all that.”
Namjoon’s eyes curved into mirthful crescent moons. “I don’t think that’s how Schrodinger’s cat works."
“That’s what Jungkook said,” Yoongi beamed, “ to be honest I’m not very good at science. I learn everything I know from that American sitcom, The Big Bang Theory.”
“I love that show,” Namjoon’s eyes lit up, “it’s so entertaining but I somehow manage to remember all these random facts from it too?”
Yoongi’s face bunched up into a smile, “Exactly! Hoseokie never understood why I loved it so much but it’s funny and educational… He still doesn’t believe me when I tell him we shouldn’t keep our bread in the fridge even though staleness is caused by crystallisation of starch molecules-”
“-which occurs faster at cooler temperatures!”
They both burst into laughter, the final knot of apprehension in Yoongi’s stomach finally melting away at the sight of the utter joy on Namjoon’s face, rows of perfect teeth bracketed by deep dimples and topped with the cute scrunch of his nose between curved closed eyes. He was overcome with a sudden feeling of deja vu, the expression on Namjoon’s face one he’d never seen before and yet… A memory twinged in the back of his mind, aching to be set free, but the harder he tried to focus on it the further it slipped from his grasp.
“Your drinks,” a young woman announced, sliding a tray onto the table and just like that the fleeting feeling was gone, dissipated into the air with the steam from their drinks.
They sat for what felt like hours, exchanging stories and jokes with the ease of old friends, knowing exactly how to make the other laugh, bouncing off of one another’s conversations in a way Yoongi had only ever experienced with Hoseok and Jungkook. When Namjoon checked his watch and apologetically announced that he had to go he almost wanted to beg him to stay, just five minutes more, he didn’t want this whimsical moment to end.
They stood outside the cafe, coats and scarves and gloves their armour against the autumn chill that nipped the tiniest hint of bare skin. It was quiet out, the sky ink blue and fading into starlight. Namjoon scuffed the toe of his boot into the ground, an apprehensive expression on his face, “Do you… uh… want to do this again sometime?”
Yoongi fought the urge to coo at the obvious nerves trembling across the edges of his voice.
“That sounds good,” he smiled, “I had a great time today.”
“Yeah?” Namjoon could barely conceal his excitement, “me too… I’ll text you, okay?”
He had barely taken two steps when Yoongi called after him, laughter bubbling under his words, “I would love to know how you’re going to text me since I haven’t given you my number… Or are you actually a stalker and you already have it?”
The younger’s face strongly resembled a tomato as he stumbled back towards Yoongi, handing him his phone and grinning bashfully as he took in the sight of the new contact in his phone.
“I’ll be waiting for your text,” Yoongi winked, before turning around to run home.
He couldn’t wait to tell Jungkook and Hoseok that the cat was alive. Very, very alive.
***
They fell into an easy routine.
Every Friday night they would meet at the cafe for drinks (Yoongi had steadily made his way through the festive menu and the gingerbread latte still reigned superior) sharing anecdotes about their week and complaining heartily over the workload. It was nice, simple, affordable enough for two university students up to their eyeballs in debt and unwilling to venture out into the cold for cheaper alternatives.
November was coming to a brisk end when Yoongi started studying in earnest, the realisation that his degree, his future, would partially depend upon the outcome of his upcoming exams enough to nauseate even the most studious of students. But Yoongi wasn’t studious, hadn’t prepared a lick of revision, and thus he found himself spiralling into a frenzy of reading until his back was aching and his eyes were sore. He ignored Hoseok’s worried glances, he dismissed Jungkook’s attempts to feed him and he hadn’t even noticed his phone buzzing itself flat until a knock came at the door. Hoseok would get it, probably. He was pretty sure he’d heard Jungkook leave some hours ago, but time didn’t seem to be working the same for him as it did for everyone else.
The knock came again, more insistent and he clambered to his feet, groaning at the crack of bones and pop of joints as they complained against him moving after so long in one position. He rubbed his eyes before unlocking the door, ready to cuss out whoever was there for interrupting his studies.
Kim Namjoon was the last person he had expected to see.
He gaped, hand jumping up to his hair which was greasy and unkempt, and then to his chest in a fruitless attempt to cover the coffee stains that had leached into the white fabric of his t-shirt.
“Hey,” Namjoon’s eyes were soft, sympathetic, “can I come in?”
“I…” Yoongi glanced behind him nervously, shame crawling in his gut at the sight of papers strewn all over the floor, books open all over the coffee table and unwashed mugs sitting wherever he had left them. It was a mess, an embarrassing mess, but Namjoon was already stepping inside, tilting his chin up gently.
“Hyung, I think you need to take a break.”
He opened his mouth to protest but Namjoon cut him off, “don’t worry, you can get back to studying right after, I didn’t come to distract you. I just thought you might want some company whilst Hoseok and Jungkook are out, hm?”
Yoongi blinked around, not bothering to mention that he hadn’t even noticed he was alone in the apartment before nodding jerkily, “I can take a quick break.” He winced at the croak in his voice, throat rough with misuse. How long had he been studying for?
The answer became apparent when he plugged in his phone, Saturday 4th December stark across the screen.
He’d started studying on Tuesday.
He’d missed his Friday night date with Namjoon, hadn’t even text him to let him know he couldn’t make it, and now he was here , offering company because his friends were absent. Guilt tasted like a bitter pill on the back of his tongue as he swallowed painfully. He needed to shower, and then he was going to apologise to Namjoon and take him on a date, his studying be damned.
Only when he stepped back into the living area, a fresh green hoodie pulled over his head and hair still damp, Namjoon was already sitting on the sofa with a book in his lap. He glanced up as Yoongi approached, dimpled smile on full display, “I brought some of my own books to study, I hope that’s okay? I thought we could sit and revise together, maybe order a takeout for dinner so neither of us has to stop working.”
Yoongi’s heart was practically melting in his chest as he sat down beside Namjoon and leaned into his side. They hadn’t initiated much physical contact so far, their relationship mostly consisting of smiles and laughter, but he didn’t know how else to convey how he was feeling. Namjoon’s laughter was a gentle rumble through his chest as he wrapped his arm around the elder’s shoulders, his chin resting on top of his damp hair.
“Thank you,” Yoongi whispered, tucking his nose into the warmth of Namjoon’s neck and breathing in the subtle hint of cologne on his skin.
“No, thank you for giving me a reason to revise,” Namjoon teased, pulling away gently to lift two steaming mugs, “and for finally drinking coffee that isn’t festive flavoured.”
They sipped their drinks in silence, eyes trained to the pages of their notes and books as pens scribbled over pages and fingers reached for slices of pizza. It was calm, relaxed and Yoongi felt his chest warm everytime Namjoon’s deep voice reminded him to stretch and move around. The tranquil companionship was everything he hadn’t known he’d needed, and glancing across at Namjoon’s eyes trailing across a page in his book, lips moving silently along to each word he read, he was hit with an epiphany so startling it cleared his brain of all other thoughts.
He was starting to fall for Namjoon.
Maybe it wasn’t love, not yet, but it was growing in that direction, a seed in his chest that was just beginning to sprout. The magnificent, wonderful boy sat on his couch had managed to find a place in his heart to stay.
Yoongi knew what he needed to do, what he needed to ask.
He’d never had a boyfriend before, but it would be an honour to make Namjoon his first.
***
The Christmas Markets were busy as they were every year, a cacophony of voices spilling white fog into the frigid air and pink tipped noses peeking over merry smiles. Yoongi loved this time of year, loved the sparkle of coloured lights battling the pressing darkness and the chorus of carols that spilled joy into the ear of every listener.
Their exams had finished the week previously and Yoongi had been determined to take Namjoon on a date to make up for all the ones they had missed while studying.
“They do the best cheese samples at that stall,” Yoongi pointed at a little hut adorned with cheese baubles of all colours and sizes.
“Ooh, and that one does these lovely little pancakes, they just melt in your mouth,” he gestured at yet another stall as his black boots shuffled in the snow, unsure where to go first.
“Oh you’ll love this one!” Yoongi’s eyes lit up as they landed on a stall tucked away in one corner, most people walking past it without a glance. With his gloved hand locked with Namjoon’s, he dragged him over to the little hut, greeting the little old lady standing inside.
There were wood carvings adorning the shelves and floor, from tiny animals to beautifully intricate chairs and Yoongi smirked at the awe on Namjoon’s face.
“Pick anything you want,” Yoongi bent down to peer at a wooden frog, “and I’ll buy it for you, okay?”
Namjoon’s head shot up from where he’d been inspecting a prettily carved wooden cup, an alarmed lilt to his voice, “Ah, hyung no it’s okay you don’t need to buy me anything.”
Yoongi ignored him, turning to address the woman in charge of the stall, “Ahjumma, do you have any carvings of trees that I could look at please?”
The older lady smiled, nodding as she rifled through a box at her feet, before lifting it out and handing it to Namjoon. It was a wooden wall hanging, a sleek ring of wood surrounding an ornately detailed oak tree, the lines and leaves textured to such detail it took Namjoon’s breath away.
“It’s gorgeous,” he sighed, barely noticing Yoongi handing some notes over to the lady before tugging the piece from his hands and gently placing it into a bag.
“Wait how much was it,” Namjoon fretted, digging in his pocket for his wallet, “hyung why didn’t you let me pay-”
“-It’s a gift.” Yoongi murmured, taking Namjoon’s hand once again, “Merry Christmas Namjoonie.”
Namjoon stilled, before tugging Yoongi into a very heavily padded hug, giggling as his arms fought to wrap around his thick coat, “Merry Christmas, hyung.”
Yoongi felt his heart race as they weaved their way through stalls, stopping to buy various trinkets and taste samples, every step a reminder that he needed to ask that vital question before the date was done. Nerves zipped through his fingertips as they came to a stop in front of the grand Christmas tree that marked the centre of the town square, red and gold baubles glimmering in the glow of the yellow lights strung up on every available surface. This was it. This was where…
He turned to face Namjoon, only to find the taller man already staring down at him, something tender hidden in the corner of his smile, tucked in the glimmer of his eyes and seeping through the gentle flush on his cheeks. It reminded Yoongi of… something. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Home , a tiny voice in his head said. But not a home he recognised.
“Did you know,” Namjoon whispered, the rich resonance of his voice captivating Yoongi instantly, “that I’ve wanted to kiss you since our first date?”
Yoongi could feel a flush fighting the cold on his cheeks, his eyelids fluttering as he took in Namjoon’s sudden closeness.
And then he was kissing him.
It was warm and sweet, like the hazelnut hot chocolate Namjoon was so fond of, their lips melting against each other despite the frosty bite of the air around them. It didn’t matter that their noses were glacial as they bumped into each other, it didn’t matter that their mouths were still sticky from the caramel they’d sampled. It was perfect.
Namjoon was perfect.
They broke apart with crimson cheeks and unbreakable smiles, snow twirling around their heads like frozen confetti. It was as though the sky was celebrating their first kiss too.
“Yoongi,” Namjoon took both of his gloved hands in his own, the wool on their fingers contrasting teal and lilac, “I know I’ve been making alot of the first moves in this journey we’re taking on together, but please forgive me for making one more.” Yoongi could feel his bottom lip tremble as Namjoon took a deep breath, those coffee brown eyes that looked so much like home boring into his own, “Getting to know you over the last couple of months, learning the little things that make you happy and the tiny signs that you’re feeling sad, has been the most wonderful and magical experience. I… I like you alot, and I hope you feel the same way, which I think you do since you keep agreeing to go on dates with me,” he chuckled wetly before pressing a tender kiss to the back of Yoongi’s knuckles, “I can’t think of a better time to ask you than when we’re surrounded by snow and Christmas lights, in the happiest month of the year. Yoongi… will you do me the great honour of being my boyfriend?”
“Oh my god you massive sap,” Yoongi huffed, rubbing at his eyes that had begun to water from the cold, “I can’t believe you beat me to it!”
Namjoon's smile warmed him to his core, those pretty dimples curling around the edges as his eyes squinted in pure joy, "is that a yes?"
Yoongi was so close he could count the snowflakes trapped in his honey hair and lashes. God, he’s so pretty… so pretty and he's mine.
"Yes, Joon-ah. I'll be your boyfriend."
***
Winter had always been Namjoon's favourite season.
When snow tumbled in flurries from the sky and the cold breezes tinted everyone's skin pink and red. When nights got darker and colder and snuggling beneath fluffy blankets with cups of cocoa became a nightly routine.
He could remember with crystal clarity the last time he he had seen Yoongi in winter, hair a vivid blue and dusted with snowflakes as he twirled and danced on the street.
( Skin as pale and cold as the snow around them, red gloves soaked through and lips trembling blue .)
He had looked so happy then, ecstatic and wild and joyous. He had been a stark contrast to the Yoongi before him now, the one with dark hair squashed by an orange beanie, who barely raised his voice and whose smile was as precious and rare as a diamond.
"What are you staring at?" Yoongi mumbled, a swirl of white slipping from his lips into the frigid air.
"You," Namjoon replied softly, taking his hand and squeezing it tight.
He wouldn't let go this time. Never again.