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Expensive looking houses in a nice neighbourhood with high fences and green gardens, these buildings are no homes, these are just empty shells a form of shelter; that he’s forced to accommodate.
Twenty-seven years ago an odd-looking hybrid was born, his hair was half white and half black but other than that he looked like a regular domesticated cat hybrid with pointy ears and long tail, he was born in a breeding facility and at the young age of seven, he was relocated and registered as a hybrid up for adoption. When he was young he thought that he’s lucky that he got adopted sooner than normally seedlings like him did. The rich family was strict but fair in a sense and the children loved him. He wasn’t discouraged when he got put back into the shelter he thought that someone will give him a chance again and he’ll do better next time – he learned from his mistakes. He wasn’t discouraged even after the second time nor the third time. He wondered why only rich families decided to adopt him - but he wasn’t too concerned he was fine with anyone - or why they lost their interest in him when he behaved as they asked him to and tried to be good to them.
He was filled with concerns and self-doubts by the time he became twelve years old without a permanent home, getting put back to the same room with white walls every time no matter how many times he crossed the front door of the hybrid shelter hoping that this is the one that will be finally different.
After that, he just stopped getting his hopes up. When he turns eighteen and gets returned yet again he starts to sabotage the attempts of potential adoptions he got tried of packing his bags just to come back after a month or even sooner.
He’s nineteen when he overhears as the caretakers talk about him, he always had trouble with sleeping and that night when the employees think all hybrids are fast asleep they mention Yoongi’s name. He recognises the voice of the woman telling her co-worker that rich families try to adopt him for his looks, they find him fascinating but with every unique painting they get tired of seeing it and decides to get rid of the old ones in favour to get something new, rich families work that way; she said.
There’s no mirror in his room because of the simple design, consisting of a bed with a wardrobe placed opposite to it; if he had one he would smash the glass with his fist directing his anger at the worker, at the rich, at the long line of families that adopted him. He doesn’t know where to direct his anger so he gets angry at everyone.
It’s been years anyone saw him smile instead of the significant frown he gets recognised for he never talks unless it’s necessary or ordered and he never converses with another hybrid let alone the caretakers. The cat hybrid isolated himself with a cold exterior to protect his heart from further heartaches; he’s now twenty-seven and he wasn’t adopted since he was eighteen. The shelter labelled him as a lost cause, but being a lost cause goes with its dangers. If he doesn’t get adopted when he reaches the tenth year of staying inside the shelter without adoptions he’ll be put up to euthanization.
There’s only one person inside the facility who dearly cares about Yoongi; His name is Namjoon and he works there as a volunteer he studies to be a hybrid doctor in the future and very passionate about saving lives, he never stopped trying to save his, even though Yoongi never responds to him or show any sign that his efforts are worth it. Namjoon doesn’t want to see him put out like that like his life is worthless and just a waste of space. He believes the hybrid deserves to be happy and doesn’t want to let the shelter to deprive him of the opportunity to find a real home. Somewhere in the world, there’s a person who needs Yoongi as much as he needs her and he believes that this person might be closer than he thinks.
Because Yoongi only tolerates Namjoon’s presence of all the workers he had to tell him the bad news that all he’s left is one year before they’re forced to operate as the protocol states and Namjoon found it disturning that all he did was nod in acknowledgement. He tried to talk to him about it, tried to convince his superiors to change their minds but they said it’s not something they have power over, they didn’t write the protocol they just execute them according to the rules. Namjoon finds the words ironic.
”Joonie, you know that you need his consent to put him up for adoption. I can’t just barge in and take him out.” You pinch the bridge of your nose turning around in circles with your wheeled office chair, it’s been twenty days that you haven’t got a wink of good sleep and you’re tired of falling asleep when you should focus on your online classes. Your parents say that you can’t sleep because you closed yourself off inside your room tried to force you to take a stroll at the gardens or go the grocery store; they use this as an excuse no matter if your head hurts or you feel nauseous.
”It just feels so unfair you know. He’s a good kid.” You snort at that, he emailed you his file hoping that he could convince you to adopt him after you learn about his circumstances and for a fact, this hybrid he refers to as a kid is older than him and as his personal information declares he never talks and always looks like he’s ready to commit murder, but yeah, he sounds like a good kid, indeed.
”I believe you but there’s nothing you can do. Have you tried talking to him about it?” Playing with a pen between your fingers you focus on the conversation looking away from the computer screen, you can feel your headache coming back from staring at it for too long. An exasperated sigh tells you that he has.
”Of course I tried Y/N! He doesn’t listen.” It’s your turn to sigh as you don’t know what else to say to this, it’s not like you could convince him. It’s been a while since you left the house and you don’t feel ready yet to face the world.
”I don’t understand what you expect me to do. I get that you think my house would be good for him but if he doesn’t want to be adopted you can’t go against that.” You sympathise with Joon but there’s nothing you could do for him in this type of situation, out of all the people you know that if someone doesn’t want to get help you can’t force it on them to take it. You can see the reasoning behind why he bothers to tell you this; he thinks similar people could connect to each other in a way no one else can, and you’re not saying that you’re opposed to the idea to get a companion because it gets lonely sometimes.
”Can’t you please just talk to him? I promise I’ll pick you up and drop you off at your doorstep as soon as you talked to him.” Wanting to resist but bending to say yes you’re torn between the two option, after all, it’s a life and death situation. He probably told you the hybrid’s sad life story that he gathered about him to soften your heart and you hate that it’s working, Namjoon is your childhood friend so he knows you better than you know yourself and you wouldn’t admit but he has you wrapped around his pinky finger.
”I don’t know Jonnie, I don’t feel comfortable leaving yet.” Looking outside of your bedroom’s window you watch the tree leaves sway as the wind plays with them and there’s a couple walking their dog nearby, you recognise them as your next-door neighbour and you decide to look away before they could turn in your direction.
It’s been five years since you changed your classes to be online so you don’t have to attend school personally, you had a dog named Lily but she, unfortunately, passed away last year so now you’re mostly alone. Namjoon swings by here and there but he has a busy schedule at the shelter and he’s in his last year writing his thesis so he can’t visit you like he normally would, but that’s ok you’re happy that his life is going well.
You were diagnosed with PTSD five years ago after you witnessed your best friend’s death and you decided it’s easier to deal with your therapy and focus on your studies, you didn’t want your parents to worry about you so you asked for professional help but it seems like after four years of therapy nothing seem to change for the better. You still can’t sleep but most importantly you can’t forget what happened on the day of the accident. You changed majors mid-year to pursue your dream four years ago and become a journalist even if it’s not clear what the future will hold, you wanted to do this for you and for her.
She applied to the same University to fulfil your dreams together, you remember how excited you felt when she told you she applied to the same places as you, but instead of that, life decided that only you could live through that and you use both of your dreams since you were kids to feel closer to her.
”It’s been five years Y/N, you can’t stay inside your room forever. You know I love you and I don’t try to pressure you I just want what’s best for you. I really think that you can talk Yoongi out of this and both of you need some good changes in your lives.” Considering silently his words you slip the pen between your teeth as you contemplate your options. Having another person here wouldn’t hurt right? Maybe Namjoon is right, after all, he’s going to be a doctor soon and you know he wants you to be happy. Things might not work out in the end but there’s a possibility that things could work out, you have your doubts but you have faith in Namjoon’s intuition. If he thinks it could be a great opportunity for the both of you, you’re going to believe him.
”Ok. I’ll talk to him.”
”Good, I’ll leave around one so I could be there in two. Can you get ready within an hour? I don’t know how presentable you are since you’re always inside your bat cave.” Your palm begins to sweat as you place the pen down onto the table, eyes widening for a fraction of moments when you realise he wants you to talk to him now. You’re definitely not ready to face the world right this instant.
”Wait, can’t it wait till tomorrow when I get ready mentally, you can’t just dump this on me what if my seizures comes back when I leave?” You start panicking feeling your heartbeat inside your stomach.
”Hey, it’s alright Y/N take a deep breath, listen to me,” You nod silently and even though he can’t see you he hears the pattern of your breathing slow down gradually and he takes it as a cue to continue.
”You didn’t walk out of your house for five years you won’t be ready tomorrow or after tomorrow or the day after that. You have to do it sometime but I know you and you’ll keep saying to wait till tomorrow. I hate to phrase it like that but please save Yoongi, he’s too young to die and I know you will regret it if you don’t try to talk him out of it.” You bite on your lips and choose this moment to close your eyes and take a deep breath to keep your emotions from overwhelming you. He’s right. You will never be ready.
”Right. She would want me to help him, right?” You hide behind the humourless chuckle to lighten up the mood and Namjoon sees right through you but plays along, he always knows what to do to make you feel better and you’re thankful. Even if you can’t change the hybrid’s mind you could at least say you tried hard to do so.
You scrubbed your body under the shower for forty minutes with your favourite minty scented body wash and combed your hair ten times before you went to stand in front of your wardrobe choosing the most comfortable clothes you own so you could gather all the courage you need from your favourite comforting things, you tell yourself that one step at a time you don’t have to recover today, you just have to make the first step towards a better tomorrow. Your little pep talk works as you’re able to open the door with a smile.
It’s motivational to know you could be someone’s tomorrow and that’s what fuels you to step outside and sit beside Namjoon inside his car, you can’t remember when was the last time you saw this rundown KIA he inherited from his father but it looks like nothing’s changed. Inside the compartment, he still has your favourite candy stocked just for you even though you haven’t been inside his car for five years. He truly is your good friend.
You unwrap one strawberry flavoured candy for old times sake and pop one inside his mouth as well the familiar scent of Namjoon that envelops the place calms you down until the shelter comes into view.
He guides you smoothy between corridors considering he knows this place like the back of his hand and soon a door that’s identical to every door inside this facility that can be said about most things here you assess that this place is depressive as hell. Namjoon knocks on the door three times but he doesn’t get any reply so he motions for you to stand back a little while he creaks open the door to look inside.
Yoongi is laying on his bed face turned to the wall as usually even when Namjoon calls out to him he doesn’t even stir on the bed the only indication that he’s not asleep is his ears twitching every time Namjoon tells him something giving away that he’s listening. With his heightened senses, he smells someone else besides the caretaker but doesn’t bother to turn around. You peek into the room looking over your friend’s broad shoulders that’s when it hits Yoongi’s senses, an anxious smell that doesn’t belong to Namjoon. When Namjoon is around he mostly smells worried but it’s different, this scent smells feminine he realises.
A very anxious one at that. Yoongi turns around this time looking at you with an expression that doesn’t reveal anything, he doesn’t look angry like you thought he just looks emotionless as he fixates his sharp gaze on you and you hide behind Namjoon’s frame shying away from his intimidating look.
”Who is that?”
Namjoon is taken aback that Yoongi cared to ask about his friend and he steps aside so he can take in your features, he’s hopeful that this can work. He’s interested at least that a good start.
”She’s my friend Y/N.” Your friend replies casually and beckons you to step inside the room that you cautiously do. ”The one I talked to you about.” Yoongi’s eyebrows raise at the declaration and he decides to take a closer look, he doesn’t really have anything better to do between these four walls so even if he looks uninterested he always listens to Namjoon’s little stories about his childhood and nowadays he talked a lot about a friend who has been through a lot. At first, Yoongi thought that he’s just trying to gain his trust by telling a sad story he would sympathise with but maybe those stories weren’t fabricated after all.
You looked like someone who has been through a lot he can see it in your body language and your smell is a strong giveaway. Namjoon told him that you haven’t left your room for years, Yoongi tilts his head to the side tail slowly swishing behind his back as he regards you. Why are you here? But then he looks at Namjoon and he could only think there’s one motive that you’re here and he doesn’t like it.
”No.” His voice is deadly serious laced with suppressed anger and you flinch away from the tone he uses, Yoongi’s eyes immediately turn back to look at your form due to the rigid motion he caught. He wants to tell you he’s not going to hurt you but he feels so angry that despite him saying no to Namjoon he still tries to meddle with his business. Why can’t he die as he pleases? There’s nothing left for him here and he can’t live through one more return he doesn’t want to go through that ever again.
”Leave.” He lays down again closing his eyes.
So you leave with Namjoon walking behind you wearing a devastated expression as he sulks behind your back, he really thought that this could work. You stop suddenly as you two reach the entrance that makes him almost collide with you in the process before he raises a brow at you when you turn around absurdly.
”I’ll come back tomorrow so don’t worry too much.” You smile up at him and he can’t even form a reply to that. He’s surprised that you still want to pursue this even though Yoongi clearly intimidated you earlier.
He wants to ask why but he decides to show you his gratitude instead and offers to pick you up every day so you could visit Yoongi until he gives in. Namjoon parts from you with a tight hug and you collapse onto your bed as exhaustion takes over your body. Going out today drained most of your energy.
You wake up feeling tired but you start getting ready anyway as you have a promise to fulfil and Namjoon is already on his way to pick you up so you opt for a quick shower, the two of you decided yesterday that you’ll stay with Yoongi until he finishes his work and after that, he’ll drive you back home until the next day, you don’t think it’s easier to leave even though you did leave yesterday.
You’re afraid that Yoongi won’t let you stay inside his room and tell you to leave, you don’t know what will you do if he really tells you to get out but you try to think positively and hope for the best-case scenario to play out.
It’s the same routine every day, you wake up brush your teeth change into new clothes and wait till Namjoon arrives to pick you up. He always greets you with a cup of coffee and the car rides became one of your favourite moments of the day. The hybrid didn’t tell you to get out but in exchange, he regarded you like you’re not even there, at first it was awkward but you learned to handle it and even find comfort in the silence.
”Good morning Yoongi.” You greet him as usual, your smile grows when you see his ears twitch but nothing besides that greets you. You sit down on the chair that you occupy for these past few weeks and even though he doesn’t even greet you back, you feel closer to him, at least lets you sit near him for a few hours every day and he listens to everything you say although he tries hard to seem indifferent.
You feel a little off today but you didn’t want to skip your routine you’re afraid Yoongi might think you abandoned him even though you never told him verbally that you’ll always show up the next day but that’s exactly what you did for a month now and you can see subtle changes. For example, one day when you were a little late because Namjoon got a flat tire instead of his usual position when he faces the wall he had his eyes fixed on the door when you entered and he seemed relieved that you showed up.
Nothing unusual happened after that though, he still didn’t greet you or spoke to you but you like to think he started to warm up to your presence. He sensed something different in your scent today and your voice sounded a little sore. You tried hard to conceal your sneezes and coughs but you can’t fool him.
Sitting nose deep in your book you don’t catch his gaze looking you over, it would have been wise to drink some warm tea before you left - the thought forms inside your head - when a shiver runs down your spine.
”Leave.” Out of all the things he could have said to you it had to be this. You lower your book to see he already has his eyes on you and he immediately recognises you pouting because of his words, you don’t say anything but doesn’t move to leave either.
You thought that things are going somewhere but maybe you just want to believe that.
”You’re sick so you should leave.” Yoongi sighs your mood dropped significantly since he opened his mouth and he started to regret his words so he tried to tell you differently.
To be honest he thought that you’ll eventually get tired of him not responding and someday your visits will come to a stop but you show up every day and he realised it recently that he doesn’t want your visits to end. He doesn’t want to give in because he’s afraid of another potential rejection but he started to feel fond of you. Will you leave him like the rest? He thinks about this every day.
”I’m fine.”
Turning to another page you try to stop your body from shaking a silent sigh slips from your lips and you decide to let your guards down and speak what’s inside your mind even though you tried to appear in front of the hybrid as someone strong, maybe it’s because you feel ill or he caught you in a vulnerable state of mind but out of all the days, since Lily passed, you miss your dog the most today.
After you started visiting Yoongi a space inside your heart filled out again suddenly and leaving the empty apartment got easy once you thought about that no one is there to welcome you back home.
It became a house you live in but far from a real home, in some extent, you think you can understand Yoongi’s feelings he never had a taste of home either; and a sudden urge to build a home together sounds very nice.
”I would rather stay here, no one waits for me anyway.” Chuckling but the tone of your voice betrays you.
You tell him not sparing him a glance afraid to look him in the eye but your statement is firm and full of meaning as if it’s you leaving is out of the question and a weird feeling begins to bloom inside the hybrid’s chest hearing you say such things, a foreign but nice feeling that warms him up from the inside.
No one ever cared for him truly all they ever did was give him food and the necessities to live, shelter basic needs without emotional attachment, no one considered his feelings for one second and seeing a stranger show him such kindness is starting to mess with his head, doesn’t know how to react other than pushing the attempts and these feelings away. It’s the first time someone tells him that his existence is welcomed, that someone would rather sit on an uncomfortable chair in silence inside a shelter facility than stay at home. Just for the sake to keep him company.
”I don’t want you to be lonely anymore because I know what it feels like.” You continue after a few silent moments, letting both of you think for a while, waiting until you could find the courage to find his visage and look him in the eye.
”Sorry.” You chuckle again it’s a useless defence mechanism on your part as you can’t fool anyone even you could see how fake it sounds every time, you regard his silence as his rejection and it fills you with sadness.
”What are you saying sorry for?” Hearing him speak using his sharply edged baritone tone makes your eyes to open in their own accord; the hybrid always chooses his words wisely and doesn’t bother with replying no matter who is the one asking it’s his clear message that he doesn’t like humans and talking to them is a waste of breath.
”For bothering you.”
You look at him now, wanting to see his expression you need to know if he looks annoyed or neutral like always but today his eyes look vulnerable revealing a fraction of the deeply rooted pain that he so carefully closed inside pandora’s box and hid the key.
He doesn’t like the fact that for you maybe he would search for that key to give it to you.
Yoongi promised himself after his eighteenth birthday that he’ll never blindly trust a human again, and he kept his promise for nine long years living in isolation rejecting any form of contact with anyone but today his mind seems like it functions on autopilot as he rises from his position on the bed in favour to stand before Y/N’s form sitting on that plastic chair.
He thinks it’s been like two hours that she knocked on his door like always, politely waiting for a reply no matter if it would be a come in or a get lost, she always waits before entering and when no one responds taking it as a yes, and the silence of an unsaid no really turned into a silent yes over the past few weeks.
She occupies herself with her book like she usually does after she enters, knowing that sitting in silence could be boring so she reads for some time; between breaks, she tells him about her day or complain about her classes, sometimes more cheerful than other times, hearing her speak almost every day except on the weekends when visits are not allowed he learnt to read her mood easily he picks up little details and the smallest changes in her scent. Y/N is unaware that Yoongi pays much more attention to her than she thinks, she doesn’t know that after she starts reading Yoongi turns his head to watch you until you look up only seeing him with his eyes closed. It surprised you the first few times when you saw him turned in your direction and not facing the wall as he does when you normally enter his room but you can’t say you didn’t like it. You don’t know that he keeps a close eye on you but he knows you watch him sleep a little longer every day, he feels your eyes on him as he pretends to be asleep.
There was an incident on your second week visiting him, you saw that his thin comforter slid down exposing his shoulders and you walked closer pulling the material up to rest on him fully afraid that he’ll catch a cold because his room always felt cold, it was a fleeting thought but you touched his hair unthinkingly moving to pat his head.
However, feeling your fingers on his head alerted him, feline eyes glowing a dangerous yellow as he perceived your touch to be hostile. No one dared to touch him and even before no one really touched him so he didn’t know the concept of petting meant as an affectionate gesture and he instinctively grabbed your hand; where he held you in his iron grip deep purple bruises formed on your wrist, it felt like he crashed your bones together and tears immediately formed behind your eyes.
Fortunately, Namjoon was on his way to fetch you so he could take you home leaving a bit earlier than normal because he had an essay to finish so he asked his superiors to leave sooner; found you in that situation before it could escalate further and yanked your arm away from the hybrid looking at you worriedly.
Namjoon was so angry that you were afraid he’ll try to grab him by the collar so you pulled him out of the room before the situation could have been worse and told him what happened, that it was your fault for startling him.
He wasn’t pleased at all but let the matters go as you persuaded him to let you keep visiting him. You promised to never go near him and Namjoon nodded he knew there’s nothing he could tell you to change your mind.
Yoongi can sense the change in your scent, your heart rate picked up as he stood close to you; it’s the closest you have ever been after that incident and you’re worried that you angered him with what you have said.
The hybrid scratched his neck showing a form of nervousness as he sees you cower under his presence he’s hesitant as he finally moves to hold your wrist gently between his long fingers raising your arm to plant a small peck to the inside of your wrist, he didn’t break your arm but it was severely bruised and faintly greenish colourations are still present there. You shivered because of the sensation your eyes widened witnessing the scene before your very eyes, not out of fear but Yoongi’s ears immediately twitched curling downwards guiltily, looking at you like a kicked puppy, there were different emotions, all of them displayed clearly inside his orbs: regret, guilt, fondness?
”Does it hurt?” His tone lacks the sharp edge, afraid to make you fear him so he almost whispers the words into your skin his hand curls around your elbow to support your arm; licking the bruises as a form of apology letting his animal DNA make the first step as his human mind can’t come up with a way to seek your forgiveness and you start furiously blushing as his weirdly textured tongue glides over your skin.
”O-oh not really it’s f-fine.” You stutter in embarrassment trying to reassure him. ”It was my fault anyway..” The excuse leaves your lips hastily, your brain turning completely blank as you’re having a hard time processing all of this. He delivers two more kitten lick on the inside of your wrist before pushing the palm of your hand to his cheek. Without realising it you cup his cheeks with both hands looking at him with a worried expression plastered on your face as you feel his temperature; his skin is so fricking cold.
”You’re so cold. Are you alright?” You ask eyes wide in worry and the hybrid can’t keep the eye contact anymore, he feels shame wash over him, you’re concerned for him even though he hurt you, if Namjoon didn’t come in time he would have probably fractured your bone. You seem too good to be true, humans don’t care about him, so why do you? Are you going to leave him if he starts to trust you? You keep showing him kindness and he’s desperately trying to find a fault in you, anything so he could hate you. So you can’t break his heart. A single tear slides down his cheek and you wipe it away with your thumb, it’s been so long since he cried it comes out unexpectedly and without considering the consequences you pull the hybrid in for a hug.
He goes limp in your arms but doesn’t protest to let him free; instead, he buries his face into the crook of your neck and lets the hot tears slide down his cheeks dampening the clothes you’re wearing.
He’s fragile in your arms even if he could crush you if he really wanted to he’s stronger than you as you experienced his sheer strength before there’s no doubt he could break you, but under his exterior, he’s afraid you’ll be the one to break him.
”It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you I promise.” You whisper the words; answering to his silent plea, afraid that if you talk louder somehow the moment will end so you keep him close and let him get rid of all the bottled up emotion he suppressed over the years. It’s silent again, wrapped up around each other you ignore the pain in your muscles as you hold his much larger form in an uncomfortable position feeling his weight on you. His sobs subdue after a while, Yoongi is truly enveloped in your scent as your neck is the body part where your scent is the strongest, you’re warm too.
The hybrid reluctant to pull away from your warmth but you cup his cheeks again using your thumbs on both sides to wipe his tears a smile that’s genuine in nature blinds him as he observes the unshed tears in your eyes; you’re crying for him. Yoongi cradles your face in his hand’s nose touching as he pulls your foreheads to rest against each other’s his breath fans over your lips.
Namjoon knocks on the door unaware of the events that take place on the other side of the door and turns the doorknob a second after making you and Yoongi separate. He saw you a little groggy this morning so he decided to check up on you bring you some warm tea to help your sore throat.
The hybrid uses inhuman speed to crawl under the quilt - before the door could fully open - facing the walls so he can’t see his tear-stained face; he doesn’t want Namjoon to see his emotions on his face so rawly exposed, he’s embarrassed that you witnessed him in such a vulnerable state, he’s usually not this emotional.
Y/N quickly blinks away the tears and smiles when he sees Namjoon with a cup of tea in his hands, thanking him before taking a long sip.
”Are you feeling alright? I know you said you don’t want to skip a day but I think you should at least leave earlier.” You appreciate his concern for your well being but you have to decline his offer, you’re feeling better already and you’re not even that sick. You’ll be totally fine and there’s no way in hell you’ll let an opportunity like this slide when finally you’re making some progress with Yoongi. He opened up to you a little and you’re afraid he’ll act cold the next day you visit so you want to parlay this opportunity as much as possible.
Yoongi is awkward when giving affection or receiving it; not used to do all these things at all he only watched these kinds of affections when he was around other hybrids in the centre. They are forced to attend the playroom where visitors would pick out hybrids to adopt but he hasn’t been inside the playroom for at least the last five years when the shelter labelled him to be a lost cause.
Namjoon leaves after a short conversation with Y/N taking a few glances in Yoongi’s direction but he doesn’t find anything to be out of the ordinary; he thinks the hybrid is still distant with her unaware of the progress they made.
The man looks at Y/N before leaving, contemplating to tell her the news now where Yoongi could hear him or talk to her in private; he saw inside the lounge room where the workers usually mix, on the office board, there was a post-it note that contained that Yoongi’s euthanization date is set.
***
”What?” Looking Namjoon in the eye your grip on the mug tightens, the coffee shop is busy, however, not even the number of people that you’re surrounded by can make your anxiety grow as much as hearing those words leaving your friend’s mouth. The liquid burns your tongue as you take a distracted sip, not even the taste of coffee could slow down the thumping of your heart.
Spring is near the corner; you can feel it in the temperature rising and seeing nature rebuilt itself, sprig normally has the atmosphere of new beginnings but this time it feels like more something is about to end as the date that Yoongi reaches his tenth year of being unadopted rapidly approaching, your mood darkens with it. It’s been two months that you started visiting him and progress was hardly made.
For the first time, you really were hopeful that Yoongi might accept you but instead, he refused to see you.
”Excuse me, why is the door locked?” Catching a worker walking back to the staff room you grabbed her sleeve out of breath as you tried to stop the woman before entering, hair pulled up to form a messy bun your appearance looked dishevelled, running from the far end to the staff room, you tell the woman the room number when she asks what room are you talking about and she instantly recognises the hybrid that’s resided in there, she looks at you wearing a sad expression suddenly unsure how to explain the situation to you.
You knocked on the door several times and tried to call Yoongi’s name over and over again, but you never got an answer from the other side that wouldn’t alarm you but the door didn’t open when you tried to enter; that was unusual. Namjoon would have told you if he suddenly got relocated, right? Maybe something happened to him? These thoughts filled your mind, afraid that Yoongi got hurt or taken away.
”Ah, that hybrid. He’ll be euthanized. It’s the protocol that we separate him from the others, he’s at the west wing now but no one can visit him I’m afraid.” She sends you a small smile as a form of sombre apology, pulling her hand out of your hold. Bestowing a pitying look to your direction since everyone in the facility knew that a girl came every day to try to convince the hybrid to accept another adoption trying to appeal to his good side but the employees knew he’s not going to cooperate, you’re not the first one to try but definitely the last they whispered things like that behind your back.
”Why no one can visit him? It’s in the protocol as well?”
You’re so confused. Namjoon told you about the set date but you didn’t think things will go this fast, you took a taxi because the way both of you parted bugged you all night so decided to see him despite the ban on visitors on the weekends, Namjoon is not even aware of your visit. It’s supposed to be in two weeks so why is he separated from the other hybrids without allowing visitors? He still has time.
”He asked not to be disturbed. I’m sorry but I have to go, don’t be discouraged there are a lot of hybrids here that you can choose from miss.”
But you don’t want anyone else, although no matter how hard you tried to ask the workers where he is exactly they told you he asked not to have visitors. They didn’t allow you to see him even if you just wanted to see him for at least one last time.
They said he doesn’t want to see anyone.
”I’ll help you see him.” Namjoon repeated his words, that mysterious gleam appeared in his eyes sipping his lemon tea looking at you mischievously like he knew something you didn’t. No one paid that close attention to Yoongi’s habits than him so Namjoon recognised as he appeared different after that day you parted with a weird note he knew he was up to something, Namjoon knew that Y/N became important to him in some way, so afraid of his own feelings that he decided to speed up the process.
He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he began to hope again in small ways like hoping that she comes early or stays a bit longer, he had all these weird and unsaid thoughts about you that he didn’t want to face.
When you called Namjoon this morning while crying telling him that Yoongi doesn’t want to see you anymore, he wasn’t too surprised there was something in Yoongi’s eyes when he closed the door behind them, he looked sad.
The only emotions he showed for the past nine years were strictly anger or nothing at all, Namjoon knew something happened between the two of you because when he opened the door to bring you some tea he saw your tears.
After he talked with you on the phone he called the shelter and learned that Yoongi attacked one of the male workers that night who brought him food scratching the guy’s face without making any serious damage. Knowing it fully well that hybrids who act violently towards the workers automatically gets separated from the others and he was already on the notice board for euthanization so the superiours thought that it was his attempts of breaking free to avoid his fate not taking it into consideration that the damage was hardly made as his nails missed every vital part of the employee’s face.
They not only labelled him as a lost cause but now they deemed he’s dangerous too. Namjoon told you what he heard from his colleagues and you told him about when Yoongi apologised for hurting you.
Hearing that now Namjoon was one hundred percent sure he’s in denial and tries to end his own life can’t accept the fact that someone has pure intentions and afraid to be disappointed in you.
The continuous givebacks and adoptions messed with his mental health, he was unable to show affection and has low self-esteem and a distorted self-image. He experienced these traumas when his personality was developing and he grew up as an adult who couldn’t deal with his emotions because he wasn’t able to connect with anyone properly and lost the meaning in life when he was still too young. Various doctors, psychiatrists tried to help him - all of them hired by the shelter - hoping that after his mental health tilts in a healthy direction through therapy he’ll be safe to put up to adoptions again but he remained silent throughout all the sessions making no progress in the end.
His experiences with humans made a huge impact on how he views them or the world and it seemed it’s too late as he will not accept the same helping hands who have put him into this situation, to begin with.
Yoongi found it cruel that after what they have done to him he was the one marked as an unstable person who needs help from the same kind that made him be one with scars all over his heart.
They have persuaded him by their actions that something’s wrong with him, healthy people don’t need therapy, he was abandoned numerous times before, indicating that he’s not wanted in their life since he’s someone easily replaceable.
When he was young, he thought that he was the one that made mistakes that he did something wrong that’s why he’s not able to stay for too long so he tried harder and harder but he was eventually placed back under the shelter’s care system. A hybrid’s purpose in life is to integrate into a family and make them happy protect them and meet their needs, that’s what they are thaught.
He thought he cannot provide either of those that he’s a failure and his purpose in life was lost.
Yoongi remembers your words like it were yesterday, it wasn’t a recent conversation but he couldn’t stop thinking about the things you said his memory is so vivid that he could easily picture you saying the same sentences like you’re inside his new room as he’s sitting on the floor staring at the blank walls of his room that look’s exactly the same as his previous one just a little bit darker as he doesn’t have a window now and the only light is provided by a lamp on the nightstand. It was a rainy day and he remembers he could smell the rain mixing in with your natural scent.
After a while, he stopped sensing your anxiousness and it got replaced with something positive you emitted warmth. He could almost feel your happiness. He wasn’t sure why your scent changed so drastically so he asked why you’re being so happy lately. You looked at him shocked that he even knew that piece of information when he was still facing the wall and he told you that he can pick up your emotions through scents because his nose is sensitive to smells, different emotions have slightly different scents. It was the longest sentence he ever spoke to you.
When you didn’t answer right off the bat he turned around to inspect the reason for your silence and saw you smiling looking directly at him with your bright grin. You pulled the plastic chair to the centre of the room and sat down.
”Nowadays I find myself in a good mood I think it’s because I come to see you every day. It feels nice to know someone out there is waiting for me, even though I know you don’t want me to be here. It might sound weird but it’s nice to know there’s someone that would notice if I don’t show up and wonder where I am. Is it weird? I don’t remember when was the last time I slept through the night without having nightmares. I lost my best friend because of a car accident she was an orphan so no one really cared about her beside me, she didn’t have a family. A drunk driver hit her when she was crossing the road and I saw it, she said to wait a minute because she left something in her car so I stood at the sidelines while she crossed the road and saw the accident.”
”I don’t think I ever talked about her after she passed to anyone, you know, she was really smart I met her in high school and we became the bestest friends we even applied to the same University wore matching bracelets. Her mother passed away after she gave birth and her father died fighting in war not knowing that his wife was pregnant with his child. I was her only family.”
”I have Namjoon and I have my parents but still I’m feeling really lonely when I’m alone in my apartment. I know you’re lonely too and maybe I came for the first few times because I felt sorry for you Namjoon said that you’re going to die but I kept coming because sitting here with you feels right it comforts me that I know if I come here you’ll be here. I don’t know if you ever had a place that you considered as your home, but to me, home is not a place but a feeling and you make me feel like I’m at home. I know you’re here so I come to see you and that makes me feel good that’s what I associate with the word home.”
”I like to watch your ears twitch when I’m talking to you it means that you’re really listening to me. There was one time that I kept complaining about how uncomfortable this chair is and the next time I came you placed your pillow on it. I don’t know why but even though you go all out to give the impression you don’t like me by trying to shut me out of your life you made me like you more. I associate home to everything you do or say, you’re far from perfect I know you feel broken but it doesn’t mean broken things cannot be fixed or loved because it doesn’t appear to be perfect. Because no one is.”
”There’s really nothing wrong with you Yoongi.”
”What about you? Won’t you get fired if we get caught?” You want to see Yoongi but Namjoon’s job is on the line so you’re filled with uncertainty, he has to steal the key to Yoongi’s room and if you two get caught he’ll be fired for sure.
”It will be worth it if it means I get to save a life at the end of the day. Yoongi is stupid if he thinks we’re going to give up on him that easily I’m going to nag him on the last day and ask him again when he’s laying on his death bed if I have to.”
So the two of you form a plan.
***
A shiver runs down his spine, weak fingers gripping the thin blanket to seek some kind of warmth but to no avail. He knows this coldness comes from the high fever he developed a few days ago, his hair is damp with sweat restless as he tries to find a good position on the mattress.
It’s hard to decide between the changing state of dream and awake, what’s real and what isn’t. The staff delivers his meals around noon but he lost all sense of time inside the room he got assigned to after scratching that guy’s face.
It wasn’t the fever or the lack of light that makes him miserable. He was sick before so Yoongi knows that he only has to endure it and it will pass, no one was ever there to help him. It angers him that the only thing he can think about is you in this situation, he needs no one to take care of him so why he wants to have you here with him so badly now?
The helpers probably told you already that he attacked a person. You probably find him disgusting now, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t have visitors no one was there to visit him anymore. Yoongi found a pill on his tray, he left the food there untouched only gulped down the glass of water but he didn’t take the pill. He’s just a waste of resources someone out there probably needs this pill more than he does so he doesn’t take it.
The hybrid sometimes hears your voice in his head, telling him sweet lies in his fever dream state, he leans into your touch when you place your palm on his forehead mindful of his ears while you card your fingers through his sweat drenched hair.
The caress of your warm touch soothes him it’s easy to fall back into the familiar unconscious fettle with your melodies voice telling him to rest, soon his eyelids close on their own accord heavy with sleep.
Once you see him in deep slumber you motion for Namjoon to leave the rest to you, changing your position you sit down on the bed manoeuvring the sleeping hybrid’s body to rest his head on your lap, subconsciously recognising your scent in the air his body automatically curls around your form so you can stroke his hair gently while you wait for him to open his eyes again.
Yoongi murmurs something in his sleep but you can’t understand his mumbling, the words are lost against your thighs as he buries his face into your skin. His hand paws at your jeans and normally you would find it adorable a fond look appears on your face as you run your hands through his mismatched hair, wiping the sweat off his forehead you’re worried about how sick he looks, gnawing at your lower lip the only thing you can do is be by his side while he fights with his sickness.
Namjoon comes back after an hour to check up on you two, measuring his temperature with a device and gives you a warm cup of tea, he made some for Yoongi too and gave you a different pill that he can take once he finally wakes up. It takes a while before his temperate can regulate itself, naturally cooling him down his immune system recovers quicker than a human’s.
His head is tucked under your chin, hands delicately holding him against your body limbs intertwined under the blanket. Yoongi feels warm all over, sore and groggy from sleep he opens his eyes slowly, feline features softenings once he realises the extra weight.
You fell asleep after a while changing positions again so you can lay down next to him, the hybrid snakes his hands around your torso protectively nosing along your neckline, he’s still under the impression you’re just an illusion because he’s sick and all he wants is for you to stay with him until everything passes. The thought never crosses his mind that you’re really there in the flesh, holding him like he’s someone precious to you.
Your scent fills the void inside his chest, he feels a lot better now that he got to rest between your arms, your body moulds to his perfectly and he could imagine waking up next to you for the rest of his life. Yoongi starts to have second thoughts about his decision to leave this world behind.
He never scented a human before, he wasn’t allowed but with you, it was easy for him to get carried away, his animal side wanted to make sure you’re his human from now on. Careful not to scratch your face with his long nails as he moved a lock of hair behind your ears, Yoongi looked at your beautiful face and how it filled his chest with blooming flowers that you found a home inside his arms. The word home never ringed truer.
He closed his eyes again, nuzzling his nose to yours trying to calm his beating heart when you sighed in contentment, his tail curled around your upper arm securing his hold on you.
When he woke up again you were not there beside him, it’s a possibility he already knew was coming as reality crashing down on him after the end of his fever dreams about you but it leaves him disappointed to feel the cold sheets where your warm body should be instead. He was the one who pushed you away and now when his time comes to a sad end, he deeply regrets his choice, even you thought now that he’s a lost cause, he should have worked harder, take you up on your offer and get adopted one last time.
A single tear slid down his face, curling into himself on the sheets Yoongi lets his emotions break free for once, he’s sick and pathetic but he doesn’t care right now his eyes don’t register the fresh food and tea with the new pill on his tray because things will end soon anyway.
You left Yoongi’s side reluctantly but Namjoon said it’s urgent so you carefully unwrapped your tangled limbs and stood up. Namjoon was there by the time you opened the door to the main office, a man stood before the circular table his face had scratches on them not deep cuts but they were visible. The man with the scar barely held eye contact before he looked down to the ground.
The man behind the desk introduced himself as Seokjin, the chief caretaker of the shelter, you were a little confused about the situation but obediently sat down when Seokjin asked, motioning to take the seat next to your friend.
Namjoon told his boss about the process you made with Yoongi and even encouraged the man to take a look at the CCTV footage of the day when he attacked the employee and it turned out, Yoongi only got aggressive when the man pulled his ears, it’s a sensitive part for a hybrid no wonder he felt threatened in that type of situation.
Seokjin placed papers in front of you, looking down your eyes grew bigger than ever rereading the letters on the front page that says ’application for hybrid adoption’. You turned to your left side to ask Namjoon if this is real and the biggest smile spread across his face nodding encouragingly to fill out the form. ”It’s an emergency form so we don’t need to consider the hybrid’s consent when there’s a life threatening danger it’s up to the owner to decide. We normally use this when there’s a stray who needs immediate medical attention but we deemed that Yoongi’s case is a different kind of emergency.”
Your hand shook with unsuppressed excitement as you finalized the documents with your signature it feels like a weight rolled off your shoulders now that you don’t have to count the days because Yoongi is not going anywhere.
You sigh in relief that you can still spend some time with him, it was hard to be separated from him this past week and the thought that you couldn’t even say goodbye terrified you. This document stays valid legally for another two years but after that, you need to fill out a permanent form to become his established home provider.
You can work with two more years, you promise to both Seokjin and Namjoon that you’ll make his remaining life a wonderful experience that he never once will entertain the thought of choosing the easy path again. You will call your therapist and fix your life so you can provide the life he deserves.
Both you and Yoongi need help to get better and after meeting him you genuinely want to change the way you live your life, not just for him but for yourself too. Yoongi has to stay for a week before you can take him home, you nod your head knowing already how the protocol works.
The rule was set after a lot of hybrid’s got returned by their owners, the time serves to make sure it’s not a rushed decision on their part because hybrids can develop emotional attachment easily, that’s part of their DNA to be family friendly and tamable.
You take in a deep calming breath before you turn the doorknob in your hand that leads to Yoongi’s temporary room. He faces the wall looking so small in his curled up position you approach him slowly, you don’t want to startle him because you know how skittish he can be sometimes.
You hear subdued sobbing coming from him indicating that he’s crying, the sound gets slightly louder as you come closer and your hand forms a fist on your sides, the sight makes you sad.
”Yoongi. Don’t cry, I’m here now.” Your voice wavers as you whisper the words, it takes a few more call of his name that he realises you’re there.
His body jolts up from the bed caging you between his arms pulling you against him with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs.
You hold each other close, comforting him while he cries into your shoulder you run your hands over his back soothingly. ”It’s ok, I’m here. I’ll never leave you again.”