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Bring me your suffering. The rattle roar of broken bones. Bring me the riot in your heart. Angry, wild, and raw. Bring it all. I am not afraid of the dark.
~ Mia Hollow
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Gentle was never a word that anyone would use to describe Vi, not even herself. She always thought with her fists, threw a punch before she thought through what she was doing, spit harsher words than she needed to, bluntly expressed everything she felt. She was rough around the edges, and Stillwater only made that a thousand times worse.
Maybe once, she would’ve described herself as gentle with her sister. But after her last encounter with Powder, the real Powder, when she said and did things she’d spend the rest of her night regretting, she didn’t deserve that.
Where Vi was rough, Caitlyn was soft. Whenever Vi would come home, bloody and roughed up from a fight, Caitlyn would pull her into their bathroom, bandaging her hands with a soft kiss to her knuckles and every bruise that littered her skin. Whenever she got too wound up, gritting her teeth and stiffening, Caitlyn’s hand would find hers and she would look at her with those deep blue eyes that always managed to calm her down regardless of the situation.
She was kinder to her than she ever thought she deserved, gentler than anybody she had ever known. People in the Undercity were aggressive, a result of the world they lived in, and people Topside were uncaring and ignorant. But Caitlyn touched her like she was something precious, something that deserved to be cherished and protected. She kissed her like she was the most loved person in the world, protected her like the thought of anyone hurting Vi would hurt Caitlyn too.
They had been physically affectionate since the start of their partnership. There was something between them, something that was somehow established and unspoken at the same time. There was an obvious physical attraction between them, but there was something that seemed so much bigger pulling them together. Vi had never believed much in fate, but if anything was powerful enough to bring a prisoner from the Undercity and an enforcer together, it would be that. The gentle face touches, the hug before Vi left to find Jinx, had all been special.
But she remembered the first time they were truly intimate together, the first time she realized just how starved of touch she had been and just how deep her feelings for Caitlyn ran.
They had fled Piltover, right after Jinx shot her grenade right at the heart of the city, where the council was deliberating. They were both still in bad shape from their fight with her, but despite the city falling around them, they needed to get to safety.
Eventually, they found an abandoned alleyway in the outskirts of Piltover, far enough away from the chaos that they could take a moment to collapse and tend to their wounds. Vi, being in better shape, helped lower Caitlyn to the ground, trying her best to limit the impact of her back against the stone wall. Caitlyn choked on a sob, and Vi was by her side in an instant.
“Hey, hey...“ She murmured softly, dropping her Hextech gauntlet to the side and cupping Caitlyn’s face. The gesture wasn’t unlike what Caitlyn herself had done just a few days before, getting the Shimmer down Vi’s throat. Then, Caitlyn flung herself into Vi’s arms, burying her face in the crook of her neck. Vi cupped the back of her head, muttering reassurances into her ear.
“My mother, Jayce, the whole city...“ Caitlyn cried, sniffling.
“They’re gonna be okay. Powder’s grenades used to be pretty weak when we’re young, and the councilors are strong. It’s all gonna be okay.”
It was a lie, and they both knew it. But it was easier to live in denial, just for a bit.
Caitlyn matched her breathing to Vi’s, slowly calming down after a few minutes. Vi ran her hand up and down the woman’s back, hoping that it would help soothe her, and it seemed to do the trick. Caitlyn finally pulled away and Vi helped situate her against her chest in a position comfortable enough for sleeping.
“Sleep, Cait.” Vi whispered, testing out the new nickname. Caitlyn smiled softly in response, and Vi made a mental note to cycle that name back and forth with the name cupcake . “You’re hurt, you need to rest.”
Caitlyn hummed, her eyes fluttering shut. “You need sleep too, Vi.” She managed to get out, and Vi’s heart stammered as Caitlyn situated her head better against her chest. “You’ve been through so much these past few days.”
“We’ll take turns, how about that?” Vi suggested, tilting her head down so her chin pressed against the crown of Caitlyn’s head. “You’re a bit more banged up than I am. You sleep, and we’ll switch positions when you wake up, okay?”
Caitlyn was quiet for a moment, but finally nodded in agreement. “I suppose I can agree to that.” The dark-haired girl said. She shut her eyes, wiggling to adjust her body into a comfortable position. Hesitantly, Vi wrapped her arms around Caitlyn’s waist, pulling them closer together. Caitlyn visibly sunk into the touch despite the fact that she was already asleep, and Vi felt the feelings she had been forcing down these past few days fighting to the surface.
With her partner peacefully sleeping in her arms, Vi had pressed her lips to Caitlyn’s head timidly, careful to not wake her up, and she had mumbled into her hair, “Goodnight, cupcake.”
Things had been different since then. Or maybe, thinking back on it, things had always been different between them, since the moment blue met grey through the bars of the dingy cell in Stillwater. A girl from the Undercity and an enforcer, the daughter of a councilor no less, were destined to despise each other. At least that’s what Vi thought that very first day. After that?
Maybe they were the exception, destined to find everything they’ve ever needed in each other, bringing out the best in each other.
And things were different now. Well, actually, things between Vi and Caitlyn were the same. Stolen kisses, intertwined hands, fates sealed together. They didn’t need to hide it, but the rest of their lives were shared with Piltover throughout the war. They deserved to have one thing for themselves.
But then the war was over. With Vi’s help and Caitlyn’s influence, the Topside began the process of reforming the class system, ensuring that the Undercity, Zaun, got the resources it needed so its citizens didn’t struggle to survive off the bare minimum. It felt surreal, seeing everything she wanted as a child come to fruition. Seeing the world she lived in changed for the better.
As for Powder, she was still Jinx. Nothing Vi said or did would ever change that fact. And while that hurt, Vi was working on learning to love Jinx just like she’d loved Powder. Things didn’t go back to normal for them, they probably never would, but at least Jinx was past firing a missile at the Council.
Mrs. Kiramman and the other councilors made a miraculous recovery. But despite this, Vi knew it was hard for Caitlyn to learn to accept Jinx as a part of Vi’s life, but Vi never pushed it, never persuaded her to forgive her. She understood.
Vi looked at Jinx and still saw her little sister, Powder, the small but determined girl who only ever wanted to do the right thing, the girl that she would’ve died protecting but ended up abandoning all the same. Caitlyn looked at Jinx and saw a woman who had attempted to murder her mother, her childhood best friend, and the rest of the Council. She saw the woman who kidnapped her in a moment of vulnerability, just to use her against Vi and threatened Vi to kill her or never get Powder back. They both saw two very different versions of the same person.
It was tough. But Caitlyn understood why Vi still accepted her sister after all this time, and Vi understood why Caitlyn failed to do the same.
While Jinx decided to become a wanderer and travel all over Runeterra, Vi settled in with Caitlyn’s family. It was definitely an adjustment, living the life she always wanted but never thought she deserved, but she couldn’t see a single flaw in getting to be with Caitlyn all the time.
When she wasn’t sharing her with work, at least.
As it turned out, Mrs. Kiramman’s near death experience had made her realize she wanted her daughter to eventually take over her seat in the Council as the head of House Kiramman. Caitlyn had her reservations at first, still clinging onto her dream of being an enforcer, but her time with Vi had opened her eyes. She realized that she could do more good for the Undercity on the Council, representing them and being guided by someone who knew their struggles better than anyone.
Caitlyn was determined and hardworking, that was for sure, But Vi swore Caitlyn was going to pass out mid-meeting with how much energy she was putting into her work.
She couldn’t count how many times she’d prepared for bed only to find her girlfriend absent, making her way to Caitlyn’s office and finding her hunched over her desk, eyes drooping but reading every word of the document she was holding carefully.
“Come to bed, Cait.” She’d mumble sleepily, draping her arms over her girlfriend’s shoulders and pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck. “It’s late, we need sleep.”
“I’ll come in just a little bit, darling.” Caitlyn would say every time without fail. “You can lay down for a little while without me present. I need to finish up some last minute arrangements.”
Debatable , Vi would think, but she would keep it to herself.
“You,” Vi would say pointedly, snatching the folder from Caitlyn’s hands and setting it back down on the desk, taking the woman’s hands in her own before she could reach for the folder again, “Are coming back to our room and going to sleep . Work can wait.”
Caitlyn would fight, but her workaholic tendencies were nothing against Vi’s warm hands and soft lips. And every time, without fail, Caitlyn would collapse onto the bed, curl up against Vi, and succumb to sleep the second her head made impact with the pillow.
Vi supposed they both had their own issues to work through.
But no matter how good things seemed, Vi’s imposter syndrome always got the best of her. She’d think of Powder, of Jinx, of her sister, and how she deserved this life of luxury more than Vi ever did. Instead, she was mentally and emotionally scarred and wandering, never really finding her real home. One she hadn’t had since Silco killed Vander.
Caitlyn was able to read her better than anyone. She could tell when the insecurities and the memories eased their way back into her mind, when the doubts crept in. She never pushed Vi away, never forced her to open up to her if she didn’t want to. She’d sit by her side, hold her as she let all of her feelings and pain out, whisper reassurances in her ear, remind her that she loves her more than anything.
At first, it just made Vi feel worse. Caitlyn was so good , so caring and loving and gentle and everything Vi herself wasn’t. Caitlyn always told her that she didn’t give herself enough credit, but Caitlyn didn’t do the things she did. Didn’t punch her little sister and abandon her to be taken in and changed forever by a monster, even if she intended to return. She didn’t cause said sister to kidnap her and attempt to kill the entire Council. She didn’t have a drop of the blood on her hands that Vi had on hers.
Sometimes Vi thought it would be easier if Caitlyn left her, if she hated her. Vi was used to being despised, she wasn’t used to being adored.
But she never did. Never held a single thing against her, even though there were a thousand things Caitlyn could’ve blamed her for. Instead, she loved her, cared for her, and promised that Vi ws everything she thought she wasn’t.
It was in the quieter moments that Vi started to believe it, like right now.
She realized that she had lost herself in thought again, reminiscing about the past. She had more time for it these days, now that things in Piltover had started to settle down again. Caitlyn found herself working less, learning to manage her time between her personal life and her work life.
She was jolted back to the present by Caitlyn lying beside her, clad in a flimsy tank top and sleep shorts, not unlike what Vi herself was wearing. Her girlfriend was humming a soft tune, running her finger over the dark ink spanning Vi’s back, shoulder blades, and biceps.
Vi turned onto her side, blinking and finally letting her mind return to reality, looking at her girlfriend lying beside her with what she knew had to have been the dumbest, most lovesick expression imaginable.
Caitlyn noticed Vi and smiled, laughing under her breath. Vi situated herself on her back again so Caitlyn could lean forward and rest her head on her chest and look up at her, her chin digging into her breastbone. “Is everything alright, love?” She asked, and Vi couldn’t resist reaching out and brushing a loose strand of dark blue hair behind her ear. Caitlyn nestled her cheek into Vi’s hand in a motion that made the latter’s heart flutter.
“Never better.” Vi grinned, pressing a kiss to Caitlyn’s forehead. “I’m lying in a comfortable bed with the love of my life beside me, what else could I want?”
Caitlyn’s smile was worth a thousand words, all unsaid. I’m glad you’re finally learning to accept the love you’ve always deserved.
Instead, she simply giggled, “Sap.”
Caitlyn pushed herself up lightly so she could press her lips to Vi’s, soft and slow and full of every bit of affection she had for the Zaunite. Vi cupped the back of Caitlyn’s head, smiling into the kiss. She never thought she’d be in this position, a beautiful woman on top of her and a heart full of love for her beating proudly in her chest. Maybe Powder wasn’t the only one who had changed.
Caitlyn pulled away, but her thumb lingered on Vi’s upper lip, gently running over the scar on it. Her lips quirked up as she asked, “How did you get this scar?”
Vi laughed and rolled her eyes, pressing her forehead to Caitlyn’s chest. “Really, cupcake? I know I’ve told you that story plenty of times.”
“Tell me again.”
They’d gone through this routine plenty of times before, but Vi was happy to oblige her girlfriend. She turned back onto her side and Caitlyn followed, her legs tangling with Vi’s and her arm slinging over her waist as she rested her head on her shoulder. Vi ran her fingers through Caitlyn’s hair, recounting it.
“Some asshole was making fun of Powder. Something about her failed inventions? I don’t really remember anymore, but it pissed me off. Ended up punching him square in the face, and he got a damn good nosebleed from it. Turns out he was wearing a ring, some knock-off Hextech device with a bunch of spikes and shit. When he returned the favor, I got this.” In response, Caitlyn once again pressed her lips to Vi’s, lingering on the scar for just a moment.
“I love that story.” Caitlyn responded, burrowing further into Vi’s warmth. Vi herself raised an eyebrow, this was not usually part of her telling the story. “Why? I got it because I was a dumb kid.”
The former enforcer pulled away so she could make direct eye contact with Vi. She dragged her knuckle along her cheek before she elaborated. “You got your scar because you were a caring, loyal big sister who defended people who needed it. You still do, it’s one of the many, many things I adore about you.
“I know you don’t give yourself enough credit as a big sister, but you have a permanent scar on your face showcasing the entire event. It’s a testament to the kind of person you are, how far you’ll go for the ones you love.”
Vi didn’t know why, but she found herself tearing up. It wasn’t anything that Caitlyn hadn’t told her before, but it still meant so much to her all the same. She lunged forward, pulling Caitlyn into her arms, recognizing the feeling of
home
that she felt in Caitlyn’s presence. She sniffled, nosing at the crook of her neck.
“I love you, Caitlyn.”
Caitlyn merely smiled and pressed her lips to Vi’s temple, saying, “I love you too, Violet.”
And she believed it.