Work Text:
Neil sighed and slumped forward, leaning his elbows on the bar and letting his head hang down. For the life of him, he could not understand how he got roped into this. Well, that’s not completely true.
He glared as he took a big gulp of his beer. This was all her fault. He knew that chick Wendy was bad news the second she volunteered to be Kevin’s campaign manager. Even before she became his girlfriend. And now, here he is, stuck in this stupid fancy bar on a Saturday night with his sister and his now second least favorite chick, his ex-best friend’s ex-wife.
Patty bumped her shoulder against his, “Would you lighten up? This is supposed to be fun.”
Neil scoffed. “Since when?”
She rolled her eyes, “Since when has drinking in a bar been miserable to you?”
It’s not that he minded drinking in a bar.
“But why does she have to be here? And why did it have to be this bar? Tricky Ricky’s is right next door. Who wants to drink overpriced beer in some fancy-pants restaurant bar and listen to terrible singers all night?”
“Apparently every single fan of Jenny McCarthy’s Tank Top.”
His frown deepened. He didn’t want to think about the band. It was his last great goof-around with Kevin. Before everything changed. Before he got all political and too good for Neil. He chugged the rest of his beer in one.
A fresh beer was in front of him before he even set the glass down. He grunted at Allison as she handed Patty another drink, too, and then slouched down in his seat again. Without even looking, he could feel Patty rolling her eyes.
“In Neil, that sound translates to thank you,” Patty explained as she elbowed him.
“You’re welcome, Neil,” Allison chirped.
Maybe the worst thing about this whole thing is that rather than getting away from annoying Allison when Kevin ditched him, she started spending more and more time with Patty, which meant he either sat at home alone, or dealt with Allison. He finally understood why Kev suggested the Escape Groom. She was just always there. Chirping.
The crowd around them applauded half-heartedly as the person at the mic finished singing. The karaoke DJ came over the microphone in an over-enthusiastic announcer voice.
“Up next, we have Allison. Will Allison come on down?”
Patty looked up in surprise at Allison, who bounced on her heels and grabbed Patty’s arm with both hands for just a moment. Neil watched her ponytail bounce as she walked up to the stage and fidgeted, waiting for the song to start.
The opening notes sounded and Allison gave a crooked smile and a tiny wave to Patty. Neil smirked and looked over at his sister to make fun of Allison – like they always used to do – and stopped.
To an outsider, it would have looked like Patty was indifferent. Maybe even a little bored. But her mouth had shifted to one side as a tiny smile lifted up one corner, as if against her will. She rolled her eyes, but it looked playful, and waved back.
“Swaying room as the music starts…”
Allison was terrible. Worse than the guy before her singing Lady in Red and missing half the notes. And even worse than her voice was the way she moved around and made faces as she sang. She was taking this dumb Madonna song so seriously. Neil snorted.
Patty smacked him on the arm.
Neil huffed indignantly, then turned to fully face Allison, leaning back on the bar and spreading his arms wide. At least he could put this in his pocket to use when him and Kevin eventually were bros again. Kev would have seen how hilarious it was that Allison tried so hard and sucked so much. He could not understand when Patty had stopped seeing how hilarious it was.
As she got into the second verse, though, and sang about “Eye to eye we need no words at all”, Neil realized that all of her attention was focused on Patty. He frowned to himself and then looked over at his sister to gauge her reaction. He expected she would be mortified. Patty hated anything mushy and embarrassing. Maybe now she would see how lame Allison was.
The tiny smile that had scrunched up her mouth before was now wide. And soft. And she was absolutely rapt with Allison’s performance as if she was not completely destroying a pop classic.
Neil had never seen Patty look like that at anyone. Definitely not Kurt. Not even Detective Ridgeway.
He looked back at Allison, really trying to observe now in a way that he wasn’t sure he ever had. She looked…happy. She looked relaxed. She laughed softly when her voice cracked on the high note. She didn’t look flustered at all, she just soldiered on.
Some guy in the corner who had a couple too many started to boo. Patty glared at him and started like she was going to go over and let him have it. Neil stopped her with a hand on her arm. She contented herself with staring daggers for a minute before redirecting her attention back to Allison, who had not even noticed the guy.
“I never wanted anyone like this. It’s all brand new. You’ll feel it in my kiss.”
Allison was smiling softly at Patty. Patty was biting her lip. And suddenly, so many things became clear. He sat up straight, resisting with difficulty the urge to shout, “STROKE!”
He wanted to be annoyed at it. He wanted to be really angry. He wanted to rage at his sister for getting involved with this boring wet blanket he couldn’t stand.
But Allison was finishing the song now. And smiling a mega-watt smile at his sister, who had stood up from her bar stool to holler and applaud loud enough to drown out the jerk in the corner.
And Neil couldn’t feel annoyed at Patty. He had never really been good at that - even when Kevin was getting into it with her. It was just Neil and Patty for such a long time when they were kids. And she was always looking out for him.
Plus he was not a fan of Kurt. He was the kind of dweeb that should’ve had a lifetime of wedgies. Which he did not do because he was afraid of what Patty would do if he did. But he also didn’t think that Kurt made her happy. He actually couldn’t remember the last time that she seemed happy like this. Her smile was bright as she laughed and stuck her fingers in her mouth to whistle.
Neil sighed. He leaned his arm against his sister’s as she resumed her seat next to him and gave a begrudging shrug. “I guess she did pretty good.”
“Are you kidding me? She’s terrible?”
He gaped at her. “Then why are you cheering like that?”
She gave that soft smile again.
“Look at her.”
Allison tripped over the cord as she made her way back over toward them, her face bright red but glowing in happiness.
For the life of him, Neil could not understand what everyone saw in her. But he guessed, for now, it didn’t really matter.
He shoved his sister a little with his shoulder and she looked at him. “It's nice to see you smile, Patty-cake.”
Patty smacked him on the shoulder and pushed him away saying, “Shut up”, but her reluctant smile was genuine and her cheeks colored. She cleared her throat and sat up straight as Allison reached them.
“Time for shots?” Patty asked as Allison climbed up next to her.
Neil smiled for real for the first time all night.
“I’m buying,” he said, and then in an undertone to Patty, “Can you maybe spot me twenty bucks?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, calling the bartender.
“So are you up next, Neil? Ready to launch your solo career?” Patty's grin was full of mischief.
“Nah. I don’t think this crowd is ready for my talent. Maybe you should get up there. You could sing like you used to always do for Christmas. Remember?”
Patty was giving him a death glare now, but Allison had perked up behind her.
“Patty, you sing?”
“Oh yeah. She always wanted to go out Christmas caroling with the old lady book club from the library.”
Patty tried to put her hand over her mouth to keep him from saying anything more but he was too tall and strong for her to restrain.
“Yeah, they used to dress her up as the little elf who would hand out candy canes after singing.”
Allison threw her head back and laughed at the image as Patty gave up trying to tackle him and put her head in her hands. Neil grinned wickedly.
“Ok, Neil. Please tell me you have pictures of this.”
“Oh yeah. We got a whole bunch.”
“Neil! If you show her those pictures, I will kill you.”
“Oh sure, just like you killed Kevin, huh? You two are a bunch of tough guys, huh?”
Patty looked stunned for a second and then said, “That was funny.”
The bartender returned with three shots of Jameson and they all downed them.
Allison beamed and started asking Patty to tell her more about this elf costume. And were there little striped tights? And pointy shoes.
Neil sat back and watched them, sipping his beer. Allison seemed different now that she was teasing Patty with him. Less annoying. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
He watched Patty laugh and felt himself relax.
Yeah, this wasn’t too bad at all.