Chapter Text
When Peter invites you out to hang out with the words, 'come dressed to kill,' it is NOT, in fact, an invitation for murder.
"So, let me get this straight." Tony stares at Bucky who was conveniently rubbing at his arm, avoiding eye contact, "Peter tells you come dressed to kill, because it is his sixteenth birthday and instead of thinking to come dressed to the nines, you arrive," here, Tony has to pause, thinking of the moment James 'Bucky' Barnes arrived wearing a ski mask that had very poorly cut holes for eyes and an all-black ensemble that practically screamed 'shady guy does crime!!'
Honestly, Tony understood that there are a few things that Bucky couldn't understand, what with the generation gap and all. But seriously?! The guy had arrived looking shady as fuck, toting along at least four different guns and a set of throwing knives that look newly sharpened, a couple trash bags and a very ominous looking axe that Tony would swear glinted cinematically in the light for a minute.
Then, then, Bucky had the audacity to look surprised that Peter was dressed in a suit and not, in fact, a non-descript outfit because of the murder they were apparently planning.
Bucky had even not-so-subtly asked Peter with a whispered, "are you sure you could kill someone in that suit comfortably?"
Brought out of his reminiscing into the past, Tony stares at Bucky who was poking a finger out of the eye hole of his make shift mask thing in an attempt to stay distracted. How clueless could this guy get?!
Seriously?!
"Instead, you arrive looking like some amateur drug pusher. Seriously?!"
"Well, Peter said come dressed to kill! How else was I supposed to interpret that?"
"It means to," pausing, Tony eyes Bucky who looked genuinely confused and remorseful, "come dressed to kill means to dress in a way that gives a striking appearance."
"That is not what kill is supposed to mean."
"Well, deal with it. Honestly, I thought you watched the vines Shuri sends you regularly. I thought you'd understand a few idioms and vine references."
"I do! It's just there was no possible opportunity for me to say fr e sh a vo ca do now was there."
"Why is that your first thought?"
"Well, you mentioned Shuri's vines. Shuri's vines are literally complete bullshit."
"You know what," pinching the bridge of his nose, Tony mutters a small prayer for patience, "Peter has been wanting to bond with you. I'd bet he'd like to teach you pop-culture references or whatever."
EXTRA:
"When I said, learn pop-culture references or whatever, I did NOT mean that you'd somehow develop the habit of shouting yeet every time you do a judo flip or whatever!"
"You told me to listen to Peter!"
"No, I said learn from Peter; there's a difference! We both know that kid does stupid shit all the time!"
"fr e sh a vo ca doo"
"Bucky, wha-"
"Nailed it."