Chapter Text
"You need to stop making me clean up after your shit," Minghao complains without any real bite as he dabs Junhui's wounds with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. "Do I look like your mother?"
"If you were my mother, I'd turn into Sigmund Freud and develop an Oedipus complex," Junhui laughs. Minghao presses against the wound with so much strength Junhui wonders if he's dead. "Ow! I was kidding!"
"One more word out of you, and I'll beat your ass in front of your gang. Wouldn't be considered such a scary leader now, huh?" he threatens while holding the tweezers to Junhui's face.
"You scare me sometimes," remarks Junhui.
"Thank you. I take pride in that," grins Minghao. "Stay still. There's something in that cut." He crouches down so he's eye to eye with his boyfriend. Minghao squints, and picks out a shard of glass. "Jesus Christ. How did that get inside?"
"Ah, well, Wonwoo smashed a glass bottle over my head because I sat on his glasses
"You deserved it."
"Aren't you supposed to be supporting and helping me?"
Minghao tsks at him. "At this rate, you're gonna get yourself killed sooner or later."
"Will you get me funeral strippers?" Junhui runs around their dorm, ducking and dodging Minghao's slipper. "Hey, I'm injured. That's unfair!"
"Really, this is the last time I'm saving your ass like this, Junhui," Minghao scolds lightly when they're lying on their bed. Minghao's face is buried in Junhui's chest, and he inhales the fresh scent of lavender and lemon from Junhui's body wash.
Junhui's already fast asleep, but Minghao trusts that he knows.
Gang affiliations are usually enough to deter any potential conversations. Not this time, though.
"Hi, Junhui!" the same boy calls for the third time today. Junhui's eyebrow twitches.
"Fuck off," he snarls, storming through the hallway. The boy bounds after him, beaming at Junhui.
"You're Chinese too, right?" the boy asks.
"No, I'm French. Because a French person is definitely called Wen Junhui," Junhui snaps. "Stop following me. What are you, a puppy?" He doesn't bother asking for the boy's name. He's not interested in learning the names of people outside of his gang.
People give him a wide berth as the member of one of the most notorious gangs around walks down the hallway. It's something Junhui's proud of, really, because there's nothing he despises more than social interaction. Well, besides the Chinese boy trailing after him wherever he goes with a star-struck expression on his face. No one dares bother Junhui apart from him.
He supposes that's why he finds the boy so fascinating and annoying.
Junhui finds himself in a sticky situation one night when the police catches him vandalising the school. Thrill and exhilaration fill him as he runs, feet carrying him across the town. The cold air enters his lungs, and it's almost as addictive as alcohol. Behind him, the spray cans lay abandoned at the entrance of the school, abandoned dolls. He's run into a dead end, and the police are catching up.
"Psst. Hey, Junhui," a voice whispers, and Junhui looks around.
"Jesus?" he asks, almost laughing at his own joke.
"What? No, up here!" Junhui looks up to see the Chinese boy from college smiling at him. For some reason, he's sitting on the wall like a cat. "Got the police up your ass?"
"No, I'm running from Santa Claus. Yes, I'm obviously running from the police," he says dryly. "Listen, I couldn't care less about what you want to say. Unless you have a way to get me out of this mess, please kindly fuck off."
Minghao barks out a harsh laugh, then offers him a hand. Junhui looks at him, perplexed.
"You can't be serious. You want me to climb this wall?"
"That's the only way I can help. Here, I'll grab you when you reach the top." Junhui can't believe he's going to do this and escape in such an undignified way. He considers running back, but the shouting of the officers grow louder with every second wasted contemplating. He grips one of the bricks and lifts his foot up, wedging his shoe between the gaps in the bricks.
The stray cat watches Junhui climb and meows. Above him, the boy giggles.
Junhui finds the noise cute. A slender hand appears in front of his face, and he takes it. The boy pulls Junhui over the wall, and they tumble off." They land in an awkward position, with the boy on his back and Junhui on top of him, hands gripping the floor to avoid falling down. The boy's breath hitches, and under the dim glow of the street lights, Junhui thinks he sees the boy's face turn red.
He's caged between Junhui's arms, and embarrassingly enough, Junhui's knee is centimetres away from his crotch. Their noses brush against each other like a butterfly's wings, and time stops for a while.
"You can get off now. My back hurts like shit, but at least the police won't come for you anymore," the boy says. Junhui hurriedly gets off, brushing the dirt from his clothes.
"Don't think this means anything," Junhui walks off, waving with his back facing the boy.
"Don't you wanna know my name?" the boy shouts. Junhui ignores him.
The boy appears again the next day and gives Junhui an iced coffee. Junhui raises an eyebrow and brushes past him. "I don't even like coffee," he says.
"Too bad. I got it for you, so drink it."
Junhui scoffs. "What do you think you're doing? Do you believe that I'll be friends with you just because you saved me from the police? That meant nothing, and it will never mean anything. Leave me alone."
He moves to stand in front of Junhui stubbornly.
"What do you want from me? Why are you so obsessed with being friends with me?"
"Because I like you, Junhui. You're interesting," the boy says bluntly. Junhui would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised. His eyes widen, and he takes a step back. The boy takes a step forward, closing the distance between them. "I like the way you push me away all the time. So until I lose interest in you, I will pester you." He shoves the coffee in Junhui's hands and leaves Junhui a confused mess in the hallway.
Junhui takes a sip of the coffee. It's a caramel macchiato, and he looks at the name on the cup.
"Xu Minghao," he reads aloud in amusement. The coffee, the first time anyone's ever given him anything, warms his heart. "Maybe coffee isn't that bad after all."
Junhui cuddles with Minghao on the couch, stealing some of his boyfriend's popcorn. A Chinese television drama's theme song blasts on the screen, and Junhui's bored out of his mind.
"Wen Junhui, get your hands off my popcorn," Minghao hisses in indignance.
"How did you see? Your eyes are closed," Junhui protests, withdrawing his hand from the bowl of caramel popcorn obediently.
"Don't underestimate me. Also, aren't you supposed to be in some gang meeting now? It sounds stupid. What do you even do there, spin a name wheel to see who you should beat the shit out of next?" Minghao cackles, slapping the hand that attempts to slink back to the popcorn bowl.
"They can wait. It's nothing important anyway, probably just discussing about membership or the rival gangs," Junhui rolls his eyes.
"Because that's totally behaviour befitting the leader of a gang. Membership, what are you, the leader of a retail shop?"
"It's fine. I would really rather spend more time with you anyway. I'd never give up a chance to be around you."
"Sappy. Disgusting," Minghao chides, scooting away from Junhui.
Junhui chucks a pillow at Minghao, who throws one back. The popcorn falls to the floor, but they couldn't care less. Minghao laughs when Junhui stubs his toe on the coffee table. Junhui doubles over in laughter when Minghao falls on the television remote, changing the channel to a steamy kiss scene.
"Oh my God, ew. That's so gross," Minghao groans. "Pick up the popcorn. I still have a paper to write."
"Why me?" Junhui complains, but shuts up when Minghao wriggles his toes in front of his face. "Jesus, fine, fine." Minghao watches in satisfaction as his boyfriend sweeps the caramel popcorn on the floor.
"Good. Now go to your stupid meeting, you're going to be late, for Heaven's sake. Get me a pizza when you come back!"
Junhui gets pushed out of the dorm.
"Why are you okay with me being part of a literal gang?" he asks the closed door.
"Because you're a bitch either way!" comes the reply, and Junhui can't disagree with that. He slips out of the dorms and into one of the abandoned classrooms in one of the older, unused blocks.
"What are we doing today?" Junhui sits on the chair in the middle of the room, eyeing each and every one of the gang members intently. He drops the soft Junhui persona and adopts the tough Junhui persona. "Jeonghan?" The lanky male stands up from the table he was leaning on. His hand pushes the long blonde hair from his forehead, and he stretches.
"We found traitors. Tried to join the rival gang," Jeonghan says, signalling two members forward. Soonyoung and Wonwoo drag a person to Junhui.
"Go on," Soonyoung spits, kicking the person.
"Why don't you tell our leader what you told your girlfriend?" Wonwoo asks with a cruel smile. "Or do you want to end up like your friend?"
"Please forgive me! I didn't mean it, I really didn't! It was a mistake! I'll never do it again!" the slab of meat begs, and Junhui stands up.
"You didn't mean to try to join the rival gang? Pathetic. You know, this just tells me that you jump ships depending on the circumstances," Junhui says in a low singsong voice. He bends down to pull the person up by his neck. "And if there's one thing I can't stand more than Hoshi's tiger agenda, it's a traitor." Junhui kicks the person in his gut, knees him in the ribs, and punches the person with so much force he flies to the ground.
"Woozi, Dino, he's all yours," Junhui orders. "Get him out of my sight." Jihoon and Chan get up from the floor and pull the person away by his ears.
"What are you doing? Let go of me! Hey!" the person squawks in futility, thrashing around. But Jihoon and Chan aren't twins for no reason, and their grip only tightens as they drag him out of the classroom.
The higher ranked members all laugh when anguished screams emerge from the room next door. Everyone else cheers.
"You said I'd get to beat the next person up," frowns Seungcheol.
"You can have his friend. He's still here," Junhui points at the other person slumped on the floor.
"But he's unconscious. Where's the fun in that?" he objects, but goes to kick the unconscious traitor anyway.
Junhui turns to face all the members, eyes glinting with malice. "And let this be a warning to all of you. Anyone who dares betray us will suffer ten times worse. Leave." Everyone shuffles out except for Junhui's most trusted. "How's the rival gang?"
"Same old, same old. Still going on about their motorbikes," Hansol leaps off the table he was sitting on.
"Do they never get bored? What's so cool about those bikes, anyway? All they do is add to air pollution and global warming," huffs Jisoo. Everyone turns to look at him, comically slow, with a baffled expression.
"Never pegged you to be the type of person who cares about the environment. You look—" comments Jihoon as he steps into the room with his twin.
"—like someone who'd eat meat in front of a vegan for fun," finishes Chan, droplets of blood splattered on his face.
Junhui plops on the floor, sprawled in an uncomfortable position. Wonwoo copies him, and everyone follows suit.
"What on earth are you doing?" he laughs, a side of him only his closest friends and Minghao know.
"Shouldn't you be going? It's been two hours. I bet five dollars that Minghao asked you to get something for him," Jeonghan says, staring at the flickering lights. The floor's dusty, but they couldn't care less.
"Right, right. He wants pizza," Junhui gets up reluctantly. "I have a linguistics paper due tomorrow, fuck."
"I'll do it for a hundred dollars," Jisoo and Hansol offer at the same time.
They glare at each other, entering a heated discussion.
"Why does Minghao even like you anyway?" Soonyoung asks light-heartedly, not atypical of him. "You're not exactly the best option on the market, you know?"
Junhui brushes off the jab with a forced laugh, already used to it, but it doesn't help the daggers piercing his skin.
"I'd rather fail," Junhui shouts as he leaves the room, waving. He stops by the cafeteria on the way back, stealing a pizza from the fridge that the lunch ladies should lock with a stronger lock. There's no point having that lock if Junhui can pick it under a minute. He hums to himself as he spins the pizza box like a basketball, jiggling the key to his dorm. Minghao's still on the couch when he comes back.
"That was fast," Minghao comments, eyes not leaving the screen. "Did you get Hawaiian this time?"
"Yeah, Hawaiian. Do I get a slice too?" Junhui kicks his shoes off and changes into slippers.
"No."
Minghao only relents when Junhui threatens to throw his Versace shirts away.
Minghao presents Junhui with a cup of coffee everyday. Sometimes it's a latte, sometimes it's another macchiato, sometimes it's an Americano, on some days it's tea. Junhui doesn't want to admit that it makes his day.
"Another coffee? Don't you ever get sick of this?" he rolls his eyes but takes it anyway.
"And don't you ever get sick of being so sexy? If you were the Emperor, I would've willingly become your concubine," Minghao trills. "Oh, and blonde hair suits you. Makes me wanna act up." Minghao sends Junhui a wink before walking off.
The bitter Americano tastes happier that day, a tenfold increase in the sweetness. People still give Junhui a wide berth as he walks down the halls with blonde hair slicked back, leather jacket black as midnight and eyes that prowl like a predator. Everyone fears Junhui, the boy with gang affiliations, but only Minghao doesn't. Junhui wonders why, as he steps into the lecture hall.
"Another coffee?" Wonwoo cracks a smile. "Same boy?"
Junhui nods in affirmation. "Yeah, and he praised my hair too. What's with him?"
"It's almost been two weeks. Is he still going on about his undying affection for you?" Wonwoo looks up from his laptop.
"Hardly. He just said that he finds me interesting because I keep pushing him away."
"Is it because you're emotionally unavailable? People seem to be into that nowadays," shrugs Wonwoo, leaning in to steal some of Junhui's coffee.
"Fuck off," Junhui shoves his best friend and roommate away.
"You're growing so attached to him, it's scary. Normally you couldn't care less about the people who like you."
"What can I say? He's cute." Junhui ignores Wonwoo's prodding for the rest of the lecture, staring dreamily at the cup of coffee. He drains half the cup before he finally sees the faint scribble of words on the coffee sleeve. "Hey, check this out. He left me a note in Chinese."
Junhui removes the cup holder, arching an eyebrow as he reads the neat handwriting. "I have this amount of money in my bank, so call me. Oh God, it's his phone number. That's so pathetic," he says as he adds the number to his contacts.
"People are getting more and more creative these days," sighs Wonwoo. "I should take notes. Mingyu's mad at me because he says I'm as interesting as watching paint dry."
Junhui snorts and texts Minghao. His phone buzzes incessantly, and Minghao's calling him.
"Hello? I'm in class. What do you want?" Junhui picks up. Wonwoo starts making weird noises next to the speaker.
"Oh, you really saved my number! Is that someone beside you?" Minghao's delightful voice crackles through the speaker, undeterred by Junhui's coldness.
"Why did you give me your number? Do you think we're that close?" Junhui asks rather harshly just as Wonwoo starts doing his best impression of a female voice crying for Junhui to go faster. He gets hit in the head.
"You have a girlfriend?" Minghao's irritated voice says.
"What? No, no. That's just my fuckface friend. Don't misunderstand," Junhui rushes to explain. He doesn't know why he's in such a hurry to explain himself to the Chinese boy who keeps annoying him.
"Hmm. Now that I've heard your voice, my day has improved immeasurably," chirps the boy at the end of the line. Junhui gapes at his phone screen when he hangs up.
"That's the first time someone's ever hung up on you," notes Wonwoo, and Junhui whispers a horrified "I know." Usually he'd get angry, but for some reason he only feels more and more intrigued.
All the coffee sleeves on his drinks start coming with notes. They're normally cute notes telling Junhui to have a good day or a small fun fact. By the end of the month, Junhui's inscribed in his mind that a goat has four stomachs, a pig has a thirty-minute orgasm, and how a female ferret can die if she doesn't find a mate when she's in heat. Occasionally they're poems in English, Chinese, or French, the Chinese ones no doubt composed by Minghao.
"You look really good in leather jackets," compliments Minghao as he hands Junhui an espresso. "I like them. Honestly, I think you'd look good in any sort of leather apparel."
Junhui starts making a conscious effort to wear at least one article of clothing that's made of leather everyday.
He doesn't know what's come over him. Whatever it is, it's a welcome change from the darkness of gang life.
The espresso tastes like hope.
"Crystals of cherry blossoms, under the rays coruscating through the air," Junhui reads. He looks at the calendar; it's Friday.
Junhui feels his heart speed up when the words register themselves in his brain. Has it been two weeks already? It feels like it has barely even been a day when Minghao last asked him out. He keeps the handwritten note in a box decorated with cat stickers buried deep in his closet, careful to hide it from his boyfriend. A brief moment of hesitation, the same every fourteen days, but he presses a kiss to the note.
The faint mark of his strawberry lip gloss tints Minghao's handwriting.
He likes it, the way Minghao never fails to captivate him. Minghao leaves a note by Junhui's dresser twice a month, telling Junhui where he can find the person who makes the entire world brighter. It's always the old cherry blossom tree in the courtyard, and Junhui never gets bored of it.
Alternate Fridays are the only time when Junhui can fully bask in the warmth of Minghao's presence. He'd never miss their rendezvous for anything in the world.
"What?" he snarls at the student who bumps into him.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking," the student stammers as she backs off with a mortified expression on her face.
"You should be. Look where you're going next time, you have eyes for a reason," Junhui says crudely as he shoves the girl out of his way. She lands on the floor with a loud thump, but he couldn't care more even if he tried. People gasp and try to help her up, but a glare from Junhui deters any attempts.
"One more time, and I'll have the twins fuck your life up," Junhui hisses, and everyone with ears knows that the gang leader's threats are never empty.
"I don't understand why Minghao likes you so much." The girl's eyes burn. "You're the worst person to ever roam the Earth, you know? You don't deserve him, Wen Junhui. He would be so much happier without you." Her face pales after the words leave her mouth. Junhui kicks her leg one more time before leaving without another word.
The word haunt him, and he forgets to give the twins a call.
He runs a hand through his hair that got messed up, sweeping long silver locks out of his face. The sunlight in the plaza makes his hair glitter and shimmer like starlight, and he sees a familiar figure under the school's cherry blossom tree. An ethereal creature sits cross-legged on a picnic mat decorated with cats as the petals of the blossoms fall like celestial dust from the stars.
"Minghao," Junhui calls out.
The marble statue looks up and gives Junhui the most dazzling smile he's ever seen.
"You're here," Minghao beams as he stands up. He runs to Junhui, knocking the breath out the taller as he crushes him in a hug. "You're late." The pout Minghao gives Junhui makes Junhui want to eat him up.
"Get off me," Junhui says loudly, all too aware of the students in the plaza. Minghao only presses a kiss to Junhui's temple, dragging the elder to the picnic mat.
"I bought macarons."
"Did you, now?" In the spring breeze, the pale pink of the flowers softens the harsh black of Junhui's ensemble, but only one matters to Junhui.
"I got lychee flavour this time. I know how much you like lychee," Minghao smiles. "Come, open your mouth." He lifts a hand to feed Junhui, the cherry blossoms blending in with his sleeves.
Junhui doesn't know why Minghao's so tender to him. He doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve the angel who wipes the crumbs off his face gently. He thinks of the girl who bumped into him just now, and Minghao's sweetness makes him feel bad for being so cruel to the girl. Doubt manifests in him; does he really deserve Minghao, the purest and kindest soul to roam the Earth, when he's been nothing but cruel to the people around him?
"Lie down, Junhui," the brightest star in the sky whispers, stretching his legs. Junhui obeys, a puppy on a leash, and he lays his head on Minghao's thighs. Minghao courses his fingers through Junhui's hair, humming quietly to himself. The petals cascade like snow, landing around them like a river of promises.
All his worries leave with the gust of wind that scatters the blossoms.
"Why do you stick with me?" Junhui asks every two Fridays as the Sun sets, casting shadows and a heavenly glow over the two under the cherry blossoms.
"Because I like you," answers Minghao every time. "And that's more than enough reason for me." His answer never changes, a pillar for Junhui to lean on. Under the cherry blossoms and the sky, the clouds, the heavens, Minghao tastes strawberries.
Minghao frowns. Mingyu's supposed to pick him up, but his roommate's nowhere to be seen. He checks his watch; he's going to be late for his piano class which happens to be incredibly far away from campus. How convenient.
Thunder rumbles overhead, and walking there certainly isn't going to be a viable option soon enough. Minghao considers calling in sick, but his parents had paid a huge sum of money for the world-renowned pianist to teach him.
"What's wrong, cutie? Stuck?" someone asks with a lilting quality to his voice.
As a matter of fact, I am," he replies. "So, Junhui? Are you willing to be my knight in shining armour?"
"My hands are tied. I'm not a deliveryman," Junhui shrugs, putting on his helmet.
"I'm going to be late for my class, though."
"Too bad."
"Minghao! Do you need a ride to your class?" Seokmin shouts through the open window as he drives towards his friend. Minghao throws him a filthy glare.
"Yeah, go with your friend. Stop annoying me. I have places to be," Junhui snorts as he throws a leg over the seat of his motorbike with ease. Minghao moves to stand in front of him, arms crossed.
"No."
"No?" Junhui asks incredulously. "Your friend there's offering." Seokmin takes the hint and drives off, yelling about Seungkwan getting his leg stuck in the toilet bowl again. "Still no ride for you."
Minghao ignores him, looking for a helmet. "Where's your spare?"
"I don't have one. Do I look like I let people ride on my bike?" Junhui rolls his eyes. Minghao gets on the back of the motorcycle, gripping the seat so tightly his knuckles turn white. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Get off. I'm not giving you a ride, for God's sake."
"I don't care," huffs Minghao. They bicker for a while more, with Junhui shouting in Mandarin and Minghao yelling expletives in Mandarin in return. The students walking out of campus stare at them in bewilderment, especially at the sight of someone on the backseat of the Wen Junhui's motorcycle. Minghao's obstinate determination to milk a ride out of Junhui surprises the both of them.
"Seriously, why me? Can't you get someone else to send you there? Nobody cares about your stupid piano class anyway," Junhui asks snarkily, though he makes no effort to toss Minghao off, something he can easily accomplish.
"Because you're cute, and I want to know you better." Junhui's speechless. The words stir up butterflies in his chest and stomach, and he's suddenly grateful for the helmet that blocks his face from the younger male. "Point number three hundred and eighty-nine of the Men's Guide to Not Be Single says that I should do something the person likes. You like riding on your bike, don't you?"
How Minghao manages to say those words so casually stumps Junhui. Did he just indirectly confess to him?
"Yeah, I like my bike, but this doesn't mean you get to ride on it, Jesus Christ. Would you get off already? People are staring, and they probably think I'm dating you."
"Come on, Junnie, pretty please?" Minghao moves to wrap his arms around Junhui's waist, pressing his body against Junhui's back. He rests his head on the leather jacket, inhaling the scent of lavender mixed with pine and whiskey.
Junhui feels his heart thump wildly. He wonders if Minghao can feel it too.
"Fine. But only because you're embarrassing me, and I have a reputation to maintain. Where?"
"Beethoven's Grave."
Junhui gets off his bike to look at Minghao, much to the latter's dismay. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't waste my time, Xu."
"What? That's the name of the school, I'm serious," Minghao says as he shows Junhui a picture. "See?"
Junhui doesn't climb back immediately. He takes his helmet off. "Minghao," he calls, and the pianist turns to look at him. Junhui takes the opportunity to slide the helmet over his head.
"What about you?" Minghao asks, feeling his face heat up.
"Don't need one. Plus, people are gonna say I'm bullying you if you don't get a helmet," Junhui's long legs step over the seat with the grace of a dancer. He starts the engine, turning back with a mischievous glint in his captivating eyes. "Hold on tight. I'll make sure you reach your goody-two-shoes academy on time."
Minghao rests his head on Junhui's shoulder, slipping his arms under the leather jacket for access to Junhui's waist. It's firm with toned muscles. The wind whooshes past the two of them as Junhui speeds to the academy. People were right: Junhui's a reckless driver, and Minghao experiences that first-hand as Junhui swerves through cars and buses. He doesn't know if Junhui's a carefree spirit or he wants to become a spirit.
"Oh God. I think I'm gonna puke," Minghao groans as he steps off the bike, legs wobbling like jelly. He takes off the helmet and shoves it into Junhui's hands. Junhui watches, entertained, as the pianist dashes into the academy, no doubt to one of the fancy toilets.
But he stops halfway up the flight of stairs, turning to give Junhui a smile that puts the Sun to shame. Minghao waves, sleeve slipping down to expose his arm. "Bye, Junhui!"
Junhui misses the feelings of arms wrapped around him as the motorcycle takes him to whatever abandoned school the gang's leader called them all to.
Junhui's running from the police again, but this time he's filled with fear and shock instead of exhilaration. He doesn't know who called the cops on him, but it's definitely not a fun thing to go through when you're smoking and drinking with your friends.
"Fuck," he curses, turning back every few seconds. It's at times like these when Junhui's grateful for his long legs. He bounds from the police, a gazelle running from a lioness, and his mind drifts to Minghao and the first time they actually had a proper conversation. Horrible timing, but he wishes Minghao were here to save him yet again like he did that night. But he remembers that Minghao has a piano recital today and the hope's dashed out of him.
The realisation dawns on him as his legs carry him down the street.
Minghao won't always be here to save him. Sooner or later, he's going to get sick of always having to save Junhui, always having to get himself in precarious situations, always having to live dangerously. He's going to leave Junhui, for God's sake, and there's nothing Junhui can do about it.
His feet slow without him realising.
The shouting gets louder, but all Junhui can think about is whether Minghao will appear like an angel. He doesn't even react when the police officers cuff him and drag him to the station; he's used to it after years in a gang. For some reason, though, he feels worse than usual.
"Got caught too, huh?" Wonwoo chuckles. "Thought your legs would help."
"I wonder who snitched," Jeonghan sighs. "I'm gonna have to ask Cheol to get me out again."
"Think Jihoon would help me? I did give him some ciggies yesterday," Soonyoung says hopefully and they all laugh.
"You wish." Junhui's smile doesn't reach his eyes. Jeonghan, ever the observant person, notices.
"Is Minghao coming again? The officers even know him by name, since he comes to get you out so often," he whispers, and Junhui shakes his head.
"Piano recital today. He told me it's a huge competition, you know the one he's been practicing for months for?" Junhui looks up at the fluorescent lights in the station. "I couldn't possibly expect him to come."
"I suppose," replies Jeonghan, and the four of them stare at the flickering of the lights. Seungcheol comes after a while, complaining about Jeonghan wasting his time. The gentle curve of his lips betray his words, and Junhui has to look away lest he vomits all over himself. To everyone's surprise, Jihoon rushes into the station, eyes searching frantically for Soonyoung.
He relaxes for a fraction of a second.
"You bastard, I told you not to bother me today," Jihoon hisses as he drags Soonyoung out by his ear.
"I'm sorry!" Soonyoung's whines echo, even as they leave.
"Is Mingyu coming?" Junhui asks Wonwoo when the silence becomes unbearable.
"I suppose," Wonwoo says, and Junhui leaves it at that.
Junhui takes his time to mull through his thoughts. He's done illegal shit, like smoke and drink underage, but it hasn't really been a concern for him. At least, not before Minghao entered his life and swept him off his feet. Minghao has sacrificed so much for Junhui over the years. Skipping lectures to care for an injured and hungover Junhui. Getting himself in trouble with the discipline committee to protect Junhui. Willingly giving up his scholarship to a music school in Prague just so he can stay with Junhui. As the minutes tick by, he spirals further down into doubt.
And what has he done for Minghao, besides be the thorn at his side? Wonwoo fades away, the officers fade away, and he's sitting alone in the station with his thoughts. The lights dim, and another Junhui steps out from the shadows.
"You're doing nothing but hurting him," Shadow Junhui says. Junhui wants to retort, but he finds the words stuck in his throat. Shadow Junhui extends a hand, and on his palm rests an apricot blossom. Inky shadows ripple like rivers wherever Shadow Junhui stands, beckoning and calling to Junhui. He reaches for the blossom. Like a cruel joke, it disintegrates when his fingers touch it.
Shadow Junhui disappears. The world remains dark as ever, though everything has come back.
"Junhui!" someone calls, and it's as if the light has returned to the world. Junhui looks up.
"Minghao?" he asks in disbelief, rising to his feet. "But your recital—"
"Forget about that. Are you okay? Did you get into another fight?" Minghao fusses over Junhui, checking his lover for any cuts or bruises. Junhui wants to cry. He doesn't know if it's from gratefulness or regret.
Once again, Minghao's sacrificed something for him.
"Why?" he whispers, all too aware of Wonwoo's eyes trained on them.
"Because you mean the most to me," comes a soft voice. Minghao avoids looking at Junhui. Junhui's been with Minghao for years, and he knows when Minghao is lying and when he's not just by looking at his face.
It scares him, how he can't read Minghao's expression this time.
"Fuck off," Junhui snaps.
"No. Why are you suddenly so cold to me?" Minghao sits opposite Junhui.
"I don't need to explain anything to you."
"Yes, you do!"
Junhui turns away, refusing to look at the Greek statue's face. Minghao sighs in exasperation, then tugs Junhui from his seat.
"Let go, you crazy fucker," he protests, though he makes no attempt to rip the hand off his arm. "It's like you're obsessed with me or something. Everyone's scared of me, and everyone avoids me. So why do you insist on doing the opposite?"
"Because I like you, you dense idiot. Was I not obvious enough?" Minghao drags Junhui to the school's old cherry blossom tree. "I like you. And I want to be with you. I couldn't care less about you being in a gang or doing illegal shit. I like you. What are you gonna say?"
Junhui tears himself away, leaving the boy under the cherry blossom tree behind.
"Minghao, what happened to your recital?" Junhui asks when they're back in their dorm.
"I left. But are you okay?"
"You just left like that? Did you even get to perform?"
"That's not the point. Answer my question, Junhui."
"Only if you answer mine first, goddamn!" His outburst shocks Minghao.
The pianist keeps his head down, making a point to look anywhere but at Junhui. It's the first time Junhui's ever yelled at him.
"Junhui?" Minghao reaches a hand out to Junhui, who flinches. "What's wrong?"
Junhui takes pride in his ability to articulate his thoughts clearly when he's with Minghao, he really does. He's not too sure about this time. "I feel bad for always making you sacrifice things for me, Minghao. I don't like it when you prioritise me over the things you've worked your entire life for," he wants to say.
Instead, he ends up shouting "Everything! Why do you always sacrifice things for my sake? Do I look that pathetic to you? Am I some damsel in distress that needs saving all the time? I'm not a fucking child, Minghao, I don't need you to baby me all the time!" It pains him to watch Minghao's face crumple, but his words hold some truth even though they came out in the wrong.
He expects Minghao to shout at him, and they can yell things out like last time.
"Do you really think that way, Junhui?" Minghao's eyes raise to meet Junhui's, and he's tearing up, for the love of God. He made Minghao cry. "I...I was so worried about you when Mingyu called me, saying that Wonwoo got arrested. You told me you were going out with him today and I panicked, thinking you got into another fight and got injured or had no one else to come get you and I—"
"Don't you see? That's my problem to deal with, not yours!" The words are just spilling from his mouth at this point, whether Junhui means it or not. He can't control them. Everything he's kept bottled up after that comment Soonyoung made is just pouring out. "You had a recital, Minghao, the one you've been preparing for months for! And you just gave up on it, when I could ask someone else to get me?"
"Who else would go to the station, Junhui? I already told you, I don't mind giving things up for you, because you're the only one I care about! Why are you getting so angry over that?"
Because I want to see you happy. Because I know you love the piano. Because I know you would've loved going to Prague. Because I'm the one holding you back all the time. Because you have a brighter future than me and I'm scared that I'll stain it. Because every time, you're the one giving something up for my sake.
"One of the other gang members can come!"
I don't want you to prioritise me if it means you losing something.
"Would you rather they come instead of me?" No. "I'm your boyfriend, for fuck's sake! Let me care for you!"
No, no, no, don't get closer to me, please.
"You don't get it, do you? You're being annoying! I already told you, stop doing stupid things for my sake," he spits venomously. Soonyoung and the girl's words float into his mind.
Why does he like you? You're not the best option. You don't deserve him. He'd be so much happier without you.
"And I'm telling you now, I won't! It's not stupid."
"It is to me," Junhui says, and he slams the door to the guest room.
"Wonwoo. Do you want to swap roommates with me?"
"What's in for me?"
"You get to room with Mingyu and I get to room with the cute Chinese boy. I fucked up."
"Deal."
Junhui turns on the bed, arm reaching out to hold Minghao. It's empty, and the sheets are cold from the air-conditioner with no human warmth. "Right," he mutters. The smell of pancakes becomes stronger. A hesitant knock at the door, then it opens.
"Good morning, I, um, made pancakes. Do you want some?" Minghao enters.
"Sure," Junhui shrugs, trying to see Minghao's face. It's expertly hidden behind the hoodie, and Junhui fights the urge to rip the hood off. "I, um, I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean to lose my temper."
"Where's Mingyu? Did you arrange for a swap without my knowledge?" Junhui sees that Minghao looks sullen, like a dim and lone star far away.
"I'm sorry for yesterday, Minghao."
"Really?" The sparkle returns to Minghao's eyes.
"Really."
He doesn't know what happened, but he's lying on the field under the stars.
"I like you, Junhui. I really do. You've always been so cold, but getting to know you was the best decision I ever made. Well, besides coming out of my mother's womb."
"I...Do I have to say it back?"
"Yes."
"I don't suppose you're half bad," Junhui stammers out, and he's sure his face is a delicious shade of red.
Minghao rolls on his side to look at Junhui. "Come on, Junhui. Will you be honest with me under the stars?" His finger traces circles on Junhui's chest, and he rests his head on it.
"I like you too, Minghao."
Junhui savours the way Minghao's eyes reflect the starlight. To him, they're more precious than any star, any gemstone.
"Really?" Minghao asks, slowly raising his head.
"Really," Junhui affirms. Minghao's eyes are puffy, and Junhui stares into his eyes.
The sparkle doesn't return.
Junhui wonders what went wrong, even though Minghao returns to normal after breakfast.
"I have piano class," Minghao hesitantly brings up as they're watching television on the couch. "Will you send me there?"
"Of course," Junhui says, pressing a kiss to Minghao's forehead. They get changed, stealing little glances and kisses, and Minghao hops onto the backseat of Junhui's motorcycle.
Arms wrap around Junhui's waist. Joy doesn't fill the gang leader though, but a feeling akin to regret and shame does. He drops Minghao off at the piano academy, waiting for the pianist to turn back and wave.
Minghao walks up the steps, not once stopping to smile at Junhui. He can't bear to look at Junhui, not anymore.
"Why did you ask me here? Are you the type of person to celebrate monthsaries?" Junhui asks with a slight smile.
"I like you, Junhui, and I'll keep reminding you every two weeks lest the alcohol and nicotine erases your memory."
"That is not how nicotine works." Minghao shuts him up with a soft kiss to his lips.
Another fourteen days pass, and true to his words, Minghao leaves a note on Junhui's nightstand. "Where the petals fall, just like how I fell for you," Junhui reads. He carefully folds the note and slips it in the box he keeps Minghao's gifts in.
"Junhui!" Minghao waves. "In case you forgot, I like you. I want to be with you forever."
"I have a reputation to keep up," Junhui admonishes, though he willingly opens his arms for Minghao to run into. He ignores everyone's shocked looks in favour of focusing on Minghao.
"If you say so."
Minghao forces Junhui to send him to piano academy again. "Do I look like a chauffeur? I'm part of a gang, not your driver," Junhui protests.
"Oh, shut up," shushes Minghao. "Would it kill you to be nice every once in a while?" And Junhui can't really retort, so he relents. He takes the helmet off Minghao's head when they reach, and his eyes trail after his boyfriend as Minghao walks into the academy.
"Bye, Junhui!" Minghao turns back and waves, just like Junhui knows he would. "Thanks for sending me here!"
"Shut up and go already," Junhui rolls his eyes, shooing Minghao with a wave of his hands. Minghao's giggle makes its way to Junhui and he smiles.
If he could, he'd get the sound engraved in his brain permanently. In retrospect, he should have, before it never makes an appearance again.