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“Sae-byeok.”
“What?”
“My name, it’s Kang Sae-byeok.”
“Sae-byeok.” She whispers, the name flowing softly past her lips. She says it a few more times as if testing it. “Pretty, It suits you.”
“And you?” She says turning her head towards this stranger she had just met but now felt like she knew.
“Ji-Yeong.”
“Family name?”
“I don’t have one.” She said, smiling sadly. “Well, I guess we should get this over with already- no use dragging it out any further.”
“Who should go first?”
“You can, your numbers first after all.”
Nodding slightly, Sae-byeok stepped forward reaching into her bag, she pulled out a single marble. Carefully she tossed it forward, it rolled for a while before stopping just a foot before the wall ahead. She backed up again, turning towards Ji-yeong who now stepped forward with a marble she’d already pulled out of her bag.
She looked forward towards the wall and the marble laying just before it. A small smile pulled at her lips as she held her hand forward and tilted it letting the marble fall to the ground.
“What are you doing?” Sae-byeok said, reaching forward and pulling Ji-yeong’s shoulder, turning the girl to face her.
“I lost.”
“What the hell do you think you're doing?” She exclaimed, pushing the other girl against the near wall standing over her.
“It slipped, what can I say?”
“Is this what you meant? Making sure that I'd win?” She sneered at the other. “Did you think I’d be thankful!” She pushed her back again. “Throw it again.”
“Even if I did, I still wouldn’t be able to win.” Ji-yeong smiled sadly. “Just let me lose in style.”
“Stop acting cool and just throw it again!” She yelled, pushing off the other girl and stalking away a few feet. It felt like guilt and inevitable despair. It felt like giving up. It felt like she was drowning.
“-no use dragging it out any further.”
She felt like screaming. “How can you give up? Was it all just another way to pass the time? Just like that, so easily, did none of it even mean anything to you?” It's not fair.
“Why…” She muttered to Ji-yeong. “Why…” There wasn’t a fair answer. Nothing that would help, or fix anything.
“I have nothing..” Ji-yeong whispered quietly.
“What?” Her head turned, snapping to the side. Why?
“You’ve got a reason to get out of this place, I don’t.” She said looking up. “I’ve been thinking about what I’d do once I got out, since you asked me.” She chuckled wetly. “All I can think about is wandering. I wandered for a while after my mother died. Couldn’t stay still, felt like I had nowhere to go. Eventually I just ended up going back anyway.”
“That's why I ended up here in the first place… I’d still have accepted it, the card. If I knew this was where it would lead me.” She paused as if to think about it before shaking her head and continuing. A soft ‘to you’ was left floating unsaid. “I’ve got nothing waiting for me out there. You do. You’ve got your family, rebuild a life with them. The winner should be someone who has a good reason. That’s what’s right.” She grinned.
“You’ve got somewhere to be, people to be with. So make sure you leave this place alive.” She lifted her head up once more, meeting Sae-byeok’s eyes. “You’re going to see your brother again. You’ll find your mother,” She says tossing the dirty bag filled with marbles towards the other who catches it bitterly then immediately wishing she had just let it drop to the floor below.
“And you’re going to grow old, together, on Jeju Island drinking Majito’s and staring at the sun with your feet in the warm sand.” She walks over to the final two marbles lying peacefully on the ground.
“Kang Sae-Byeok is going to live. And she’s not going to die until she is old and gray and content.” She scoops up the final marbles before turning back to Sae-byeok and holding her clasped hand forward, opening it to reveal two clear-blue marbles freckled with sand. “And she is going to be happy.”
Tears prick her eyes as the world starts to tilt and melt in an ocean of bitter regret. Stirring it into everything else, leaving nothing untainted by her sorrow. “But what about Ji-Yeong?” She snaps out biting the inside of her cheek, tasting blood, and dust. “How could she ever be happy?”
“But she is happy,” Ji-Yeong says, smiling slightly. “Because she met you.” She tilted her head towards the other. “I got to meet you and that makes these last few days with you worth it.”
“I won’t kill you.”
“You won’t have to.” She says with a thick grin, pushing the final marbles towards the other girl. “It would be an honor to die for you, Sae-byeok.”
Tears that had been threatening to fall for a while finally broke, wetting her cheeks dripping down onto the dirt in front of her feet. “But we still haven’t been to Jeju Island together.” She chokes out, pinching her eyes closed. “But you said that we’d go together.”
Sae-byeok gasps lightly when she feels a pepper light touch on her face. Opening her eyes she sees Ji-yeong staring back at her, hand outstretched, fingers gently brushing her cheek. “I’m sorry I lied,” Her lips quiver but she doesn’t stop. “I’m sorry we won't get to watch the sunset together. I’m sorry we won't get to grow together.” Ji-Yeong pulls her hand away, dragging the last bit of warmth left out with it. “But it’s not time for you to die yet…you have people waiting for you…so live for them, for me…please.”
Sae-byeok reached forward, grabbing the last two marbles for herself. It felt greedy and suffocating. It was like drowning. “This isn’t fair…” She muttered under her breath. “How could I live with myself knowing I let you die? How could I ever forgive myself?”
“You don’t have to,” Ji-Yeong says cheerfully through tear stained lips. “I’ll forgive you as many times as it takes for you to believe me!”
Ji-yeong pulls the other in for a hug, holding her tightly. She leans their foreheads together. “Thank you…” She whispered quietly before slowly leaning forward gently pressing her lips to the other girls, eyes closing in contentment as they both lean in further.
It's warm and delicate. Full of longing, fear, acceptance. It's all too short and when it ends and the two girls pull apart it takes all their strength to stay away. To let it end sweetly.
Smiling pleased Ji-yeong releases the other from their embrace. Quietly, now nothing left to cling onto Sae-byeok walks away.
“Wait,” Ji-yeong says, quickly reaching up to her face before holding forward something small and shiny. “Take this, I won’t exactly need it anymore. It’d be nice for someone to have something to remember me by.”
She reaches forward and takes the small piercing, holding it between her fingers.
“It’s not exactly worth anything but, I mean, it’s pretty right?” She said cheerfully, choking back something sad with a wide grin. “Goodbye, Sae-byeok. Have fun on Jeju Island for me.”
The light reflects off the small shiny surface and she decides it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. “Goodbye, Ji-Yeong.”
Clenching her fist around the sharp object, holding on like a lifeline. Tears brim in her eyes once more as she turns to follow the masked worker who will lead her away towards the exit door. Her lips taste like salt. The collar of her shirt is wet, stained in tears and blood. Longing drenching her every move and step. It’s suffocating.
“Sae-byeok!” Ji-yeong calls from behind her and she can’t help the way her body freezes. Still she doesn’t turn, just continues to stare forward. “Thank you,” It feels like dying. “Thank you for playing with me.”
And all that’s left is a gunshot left ringing through her ears.
…
“Player 240, eliminated.”