Chapter Text
It started with an insignificant child’s toy.
A stupid, mediocre built rattle.
The mid autumn festival was present everywhere around the Peaks and no less in the town below the great mountain. Disciples from each peak have descended in celebration, running through town like wild hooligans chasing each other for favour. Gifts are bought and stored, ready for the fateful night when the lanterns will be released. Ladies and Lords of the peak were no different, descending the mountain to supervise their disciples and indulge in festivities.
Ning Yingying and Ming Fan had been put in charge of a gaggle of children as senior disciples, leading them through the stalls and vendors. Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu following a distance behind. It was early afternoon yet, but busy enough for them to have to push their way in the crowds.
Luo Binghe keenly held the charge with a sturdy grip on Shen Qingqiu’s hand, pulling them from stall to stall. She eagerly showed items of all kinds to Shen Qingqiu, who oohed and aahed at them to appease her wife. If a certain item got Shen Qingqiu to lower her fan and look thoughtful or curious, Luo Binghe immediately bought it, despite her wifes protests. Squeals of children and the scent of sugar drift around them, slowly as it darkens, the street lanterns are lit.
The gaggle they had been following was nowhere to be seen, having disappeared some time ago. Luo Binghe wasn’t particularly worried, Shige was capable enough to handle them and ensure they met back at the mountain's gate by the hour. She was more concerned with running into another Peak Lady, especially Bai Zhan Peak Lady, Liu Qingge. She grimaces.
“Is there anything else Shizun wants to see?” She inquires.
“No, this master has had enough for today.” Shen Qingqiu replies, “Let’s go find the others.”
“Alright.” Luo Binghe agrees, squeezing her hand.
They pass down the eastern side of the town, along the waterfront. Vendors sell mostly fruit goods and freshly caught fish, although at the end of the row, there is a small stand filled with handmade wooden toys. Shen Qingqiu’s gaze lingers on it for an instant before it's ripped away and focuses back to the street. Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed such a small movement, but Luo Binghe is not just anyone, her eyes never leave her wife’s glowing form. A permanent fixture. She mentally takes note of it, storing it away in the deep file that is her wife’s odd behaviour. They press on towards the mountain.
Standing in front of the mountain gate, below the climb to the Peak and the Rainbow Bridge, Luo Binghe shuffles her feet against the dirt. It is long after the time the Ning Yingying and Ming Fan should have the children regrouped here. Teenage disciples are filling up the stairs, bowing to their Shizun before continuing their lively conversations. Even they wouldn’t want to be caught breaking curfew. Shen Qingqiu sighs, tucking her fan into her waistbelt.
“This master supposes she’ll have to go find them.” She says.
“No, no, Shizun. Stay here. This disciple will go get them.” Luo Binghe hastily steps in front of her.
“Binghe should stay here in case they come back, it won't take this master long to circle back.” Shen Qingqiu steps around her, patting her arm gently.
“If Shizun is sure..” She frowns.
“Of course.” Shen Qingqiu begins to walk back into the direction of town, “I’ll be back soon, head up with them if they turn up.” Her hair sways with her stride and Luo Binghe watches it until it disappears completely.
Head back up with them? She grumbles inwardly. As if this Mistress wouldn’t wait for her beloved to escort her up the stairs properly.
It was an odd sentence for Shen Qingqiu to say. She has said things like that before, “Go on without this Master, she’ll follow you soon.” or "Nevermind that, let’s see each other after.” but she’s never outright said to go off without her. Shen Qingqiu is not the thickest of faces but she clearly adores the attention Luo Binghe gives her, even if it makes her apprehensive out of embarrassment. They’ve been married for four years. Luo Binghe has known her most of her life. Shen Qingqiu would never miss an opportunity to hold her wife's hand during the night, nevermind the fact that she’s slightly afraid of the dark.
Luo Binghe looks up to the sky. Black blankets the heavens, moon inching further up among the sparse clouds. Arms crossed, she taps her foot, impatient. Ten minutes go by, then twenty.
“Shimei!” Calls Ning Yingying, jogging up to her. “Shimei, this one apologizes.” He huffs, hands braced on his knees, out of breath.
Luo Binghe turns to him, trying and failing to hide her scowl,
“Where were you? Shizun went off looking for you, you took so long.”
“One of the children got stuck in a tree and it took us a very long time to convince her to jump down. I’m sorry Shimei, I’ll apologise to Shizun when we greet her.” Ning Yingying amends.
Luo Binghe clicks her tongue, “You didn't see Shizun in town?”
“Ah, no? I supposed she’d be here with you?” He blinks, head tilting.
“Really? You didn’t see her at all?” Luo Binghe asks.
Ning Yingying shakes his head.
Ming Fan stalks up the gate path, a child in each of her arms and many more following behind. She looks exhausted and red in the face, legs struggling to keep up. Horror flashes on Ning Yingying’s usually flawless face, he dashes over and takes a child from her.
“What was that for!? Leaving me behind to care for all these children, you said you’d only be gone a minute!” Ming Fan barks at him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, really.. Shijie, here let me help. I’ve told Shimei we’re alright so now we can all ascend the mountain together.” He placates.
Ming Fan huffs, “Fine, but don’t think you won’t be doing my cleaning duty tomorrow for leaving me like that.”
“Of course Shijie, sorry Shijie.” Ning Yingying beams, clearly knowing he'd be forgiven. Ming Fan flushes and gives him a small smile in return. they stare at each other a little longer than necessary.
Luo Binghe coughs and the spell between the two is broken, they look away from each other, embarrassed.
“Where’s Shizun? Has she already returned to the Peak?” Ming Fan asks, hefting the child in her arms into a more comfortable hold.
“No,” She shakes her head, “Shizun went looking for you back in town. This Mistress was told to wait here in case you came back.”
“Ah, should we wait for Shizun then?” Ning Yingying pipes.
“No, this Mistress will go retrieve Shizun, you both should take the children home.” Luo Binghe decides, already stepping around them and in the direction of the town.
“It’s probably for the best.” Ming Fan agrees, a child by her side yawning loudly.
Ning Yingying nods, taking a child with his free hand.
“Alright.”
“Everyone, follow Shijie and Shige! Stick to us and the path, it’s dark out so don’t wander off now.” A chorus of whines and groans but they nonetheless file into walking formation.
Luo Binghe watches them corral the children up the steps and off into the mountains. She spins off and jogs towards the glowing lights in the distance.
The town isn’t remarkably big so she expects to find Shizun rather easily, but after five minutes of jogging around, she can’t see her anywhere. She asks a stall owner near the town centre if he’d seen her, he nods and points in the direction of the river side, saying she passed through here not long ago. Luo Binghe thanks him and sets back into her pace, anxious. She has greatly improved on her abandonment issues and paranoia, but instances like these, it creeps back into her heart mercilessly.
“She left you.” It screams. “You can’t do anything right, filthy demon. she left you, she couldn't wait to get away from you.”
Shen Qingqiu says she has an illness of the heart, emotional scars that can be healed with time, care and hard work. So far, she has improved with Shizun's help and it shows at times like these. Some years ago, she would have lost her composure by now, crying and demanding to know where her Shizun is. Luo Binghe’s breath shutters in her chest as she jogs, willing herself to stay calm.
She approaches the eastern street and turns the corner, taking in the sight of her wife. She startles, darting back around the corner to hide. Luo Binghe peers around to confirm what she had just seen.
Shen Qingqiu stands aways of the homemade toy stall, staring, entranced. She’s watching a mother and son as they pick out a toy. Luo Binghe can’t make out what they’re saying from where she is, only watching her Shizun watch them. The mother picks out a rattle drum and swings it a couple times, the boy eagerly clutches the mother’s skirt, reaching up for it. The mother laughs, picking him up and letting him watch closer as it beats. The boy squeals in delight and hides in his mother's neck, she coos at him. They pay the vendor and amble down the street, the toddler happily swinging his new toy in his mother’s arms. Shen Qingqiu's gaze is completely on them, watch them go off down the street, longing.
Luo Binghe elects to come out from her hiding spot, slowly walking up the street towards Shen Qingqiu, who has absently picked up a drum and started twirling it. She has a complicated expression on her face.
“Shizun.”
“GAAHHHH!” Shen Qingqiu screams, she flails with the drum, catching it before it can fall to the ground.
“Luo Binghe!” She shrieks, turning to her wife. “Don’t sneak up on this poor old woman like that!”
“Sorry, Shizun.” She says, biting the inside of her cheek as to not refute Shizun calling herself old. She’s older than Luo Binghe by only six years, one could argue she’s younger than Luo Binghe, considering their life spans.
“What is Shizun doing here?” Luo Binghe asks instead, “Have you been here the whole time?”
Shen Qingqiu’s hold on the drum tightens as she shamefully looks to the side.
“No, this wife went looking for the children but when she couldn’t find them, assumed they’d headed back with you.” She admits, “After that, I came here to... Look.”
“Look? Does Shizun want.. A toy?” Luo Binghe inquires, glancing at the drum in Shen Qingqiu’s hand.
“Oh well, this uh― this Master simply wanted to look at them.” She coughs into her other hand, placing the drum back down, cheeks coloruing.
“If Shizun wanted a rattle, this wife would be happy to buy her one.” She says, stepping closer to run a hand down Shen Qingqiu’s arm.
Shen Qingqiu shakes her head, “Nevermind that, have you seen the disciples?”
“Yes. Ning Yingying told this one that a child was stuck in a tree which kept them later than expected. This wife sent them back up the mountain and came looking for you.” She replies.
“This wife told you to head back as well.” Shen Qingqiu quips.
“And leave my Shizun without an escort? What an unfaithful disciple I’d be to do such a thing.” Luo Binghe snarks back.
Shen Qingqiu chortles, slapping Luo Binghe’s broad chest playfully.
“Alright, alright. Enough of that. Let’s go home, shall we?” She soothes.
“Okay, Shizun. But this wife wants to buy that drum first.” Luo Binghe declares, no room for objection.
“Binghe I don’t need a child’s toy!”
“But wife looked so cute playing with it!”
“That doesn’t mean I need it―Binghe put that back!”
Luo Binghe buys the rattle drum.
Shen Qingqiu swings it all the way up the mountain, announcing each step they take with a low bap bap bap.
“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu prompts.
“Hm.”
“Has my wife ever thought about having children?” She asks casually.
Luo Binghe blinks, surprised by the question.
“She can’t say she has.” She replies slowly, “This Mistress doesn’t really think of such things.”
Luo Binghe is telling a fib. She has thought many times about children, specifically having children with Shizun, but she keeps that to herself. It is a desire she often thinks of, jade strap sunk deep her wife's warmth, stretching and ramming all the right spots, making her mewl so sweetly under her― is that, she wishes this were real. Luo Binghe wishes she was blood and flesh filling her wife, feeling Shen Qingqiu clench and shudder around her, coating every small crevice within her when she comes inside her. Gonna breed you' She'd croak, Gonna fill you up with pups, my pups. Luo Binghe shivers.
"Is Binghe cold?" Shen Qingqiu asks, pushing her shoulder into Luo Binghe’s in effort to warm her.
"No, Shizun. This one simply got a small chill." Luo Binghe gives her a tight smile, pulling her along. The quicker they get home, the quicker Luo Binghe can fuck her against the wall of the bamboo hut's foyer.
Luo Binghe is a little ashamed of her very secret desire, purely for it's brutish nature. So she never explains it to Shen Qingqiu, inside or outside their marriage bed. It's something a man would do, thinking about knocking up his pretty little wife, wanting her round with child, she seethes. She also doesn’t want to pressure Shizun into having children just because the other Peak Ladies and Lords are doing so, and no doubt pushing Shen Qingqiu to do so as well.
Shen Qingqiu searches her face, she looks away. Luo Binghe furrows her brows.
"Binghe.. Doesn't want a child then?" She continued, nervous.
"No, not really." Luo Binghe would be content with Shizun by her side forever, or until some lucky asshole lops her head off. Shizun need not debase herself on Luo Binghe's behalf. It's clear she doesn't want children or at least, she shows no interest in them, so Luo Binghe will have to continue to let desires, be desires. Luo Binghe would never love her any less for not wanting or having children, if she so chooses.
Shen Qingqiu thumb rubs over her hand in their hold. "I see. Alright then."
“What does Shizun think of children?”
Shen Qingqiu stares at the rattle, “This Lady thinks they’re noisy.” She says, suddenly disinterested.
“So they are.” Luo Binghe forces a smile at her.
Luo Binghe grips her other hand more tightly than usual, lost in thought. For the first time since their youth, Luo Binghe lied to her. Even if it was to save an awkward and heart breaking conversation of Shen Qingqiu shattering Luo Binghe's silly little dream. It twists her insides into knots. She doesn't bring it up.
Later that night, in Luo Binghe's deep sleep, she swears she can hear the quiet sobs of her wife, echoing through the bamboo hut.
It all goes down hill, from that night. Luo Binghe doesn’t think her relationship is falling apart per say, but she’s definitely aware there is tension. It’s like the shadow of a storm cloud that hangs above them and Luo Binghe is clueless as to why it’s even there. Days pass, weeks go by, seasons change and she still can’t seem to figure out why her wife is so distracted and sometimes, distance. She chalks it up to adjustment. A-Yuan has only recently, in the last few years, been able to act and think like herself again. It’s probably just that. No other reason. Like her regretting this marriage or wishing she’d chosen someone else or―
Luo Binghe clutches her hair harshly, squatting in the kitchen, her breath picking up.
She’s being silly, ridiculous. Panicking over nothing.
But it’s not nothing, she frets. Shen Qingqiu has been relatively normal, but she’s becoming more and more vacant as the days pass, like she’s preoccupied with a thought. She goes to Peak Lord meetings, attends disciples training, runs errands with Binghe but she’s not the same.
Luo Binghe hugs her knees, sitting on the kitchen stool. She’s aware she should be watching the pot and stoking the fire, but she’s distressed and can’t bring herself out of her hiding spot.
She can’t understand what she did wrong.
Everything had been perfect up until the recent year. So where did she go wrong? Was it something she said? Something she did? Does Shizun not like her face anymore? Is she not pretty enough? Is she, what is, she can’t―
She burns the chicken.
Shen Qingqiu continues to act oddly. She's often found staring out windows, watching the birds and disciples play among themselves. She dotingly collects toys of any kind, big or small, well made or not. Luo Binghe has no idea what she does with them, she's just happy to see her wife indulge in a passion, but Shen Qingqu's eyes are dull. They don't bring her happiness at all, it seems, so why does she even bother collecting them? Luo Binghe can't understand. She's quiet, thoughtful.
She holds the children disciples more often now, on her lap or in her arms. One lucky disciple gets the honour of being carried by Shen Qingqiu, they feverishly compete with each other for her embrace. The smallest of the children, barely three years old, likes to clamber up and in her neck during lessons, falling asleep quietly, his little fist gripping her robes. Shen Qingqiu's shoulders shake and her eyes mist over whenever this happens, Luo Binghe can't figure out why. It's an endearing sight to her, making that beastly desire of hers creep back to the surface. Luo Binghe almost wants to open her mouth and say "Let's have a baby, Shizun." but that in itself is a dangerous thing, especially after Shen Qingqiu made her stance on the matter clear. She opts to stay away from Shizun's lessons with the children, at least, for a little while.
It's not long after Luo Binghe has her breakdown in the kitchen, that Liu Qingge appears at the bamboo hut’s door. She bangs her fist loudly against the door and crosses her arms hotly. Luo Binghe knew that she had entered the Peak long before she arrived at the door, her ward’s blazing at the intrusion of the Peak Lady.
“I know you can hear me, dog!” Liu Qingge bellows, her patience thinning. She’d been waiting less than five minutes, Luo Binghe will never understand how Shizun can tolerate such a hotheaded, rude individual.
“We’re not hoooome, go awaaaay.” She sings obnoxiously from the living room. The windows are open and the cool spring breeze washes through the entire hut. Luo Binghe sweeps the wooden floors, thinking of her next task of the day. Hopefully that sorry excuse for a woman will leave on her own, seeing as Shizun isn’t here.
“Luo Binghe!” She yells. “If you hold any love for your wife, you’ll greet me!”
Luo Binghe’s body becomes rigid and a vein pops on her forehead. That low life, what kind of game is she playing, saying something like that. She sets the broom aside and strides to the window, throwing her legs over, she drops a aways from Liu Qingge. Luo Binghe gives her a once over.
“Alright. This Mistress greeted you. Now where is Shizun?”
“She stayed behind after our meeting to speak with Shang Qinghua.” Liu Qingge explained, arms tucking tighter into their fold.
“Oh? Then why would Peak Lady Liu Qingge be seeking this one out, if not for the whereabouts of her Shizun?” She asks sarcastically. She bites her tongue, you’re always sniffing around my wife, like a bitch in heat, you always know where she is. She doesn’t say, but by the gods does she want to.
Liu Qingge huffs, “This Lady came here to talk to you.”
“What could this one possibly have to talk to you about? The weather?” Luo Binghe growls.
“No, you stupid dog! It’s about your wife!” She growls back.
“Whatever you have to say about my Shizun, then say it clearly and leave.” Luo Binghe replies, barking.
“Luo Binghe!”
“If Peak Lady Liu Qingge doesn’t mind, this one has duties to attend to―” She steps back towards the window, bored with the conversation.
“She was crying.”
Luo Binghe halts, her feet clambering over one another to stand back up straight.
“What?” She asks, unsure she’d heard the Peak Lady right.
“Shen Qingqiu… She, did something strange today.” Liu Qingge admits, looking troubled. “This one doesn’t presume to get involved in others affairs but,” It's Shen Qingqiu, she doesn’t say but Luo Binghe knows.
Luo Binghe gives her full attention. “What happened?”
“Peak Lady Wei Qingwei announced her third pregnancy today during our meeting and Shen Qingqiu started to bawl like a newborn.” Liu Qingge explained, attentive look on her face.
Luo Binghe’s eyes widened, strange behaviour indeed. Not to say her wife wasn’t a sensitive soul but for Shen Qingqiu to openly cry like that was unheard of. Luo Binghe is accustomed to showing her feelings without a filter but Shen Qingqiu? A-Yuan? Not a chance. Neither versions of herself would do something like that.
Luo Binghe scratches her cheek. Liu Qingge huffs, sensing Luo Binghe’s confusion.
“So you have no idea why your wife is acting this way?” She challenges.
Luo Binghe shakes her head, “No.”
“Really? No idea why she’d be upset at the announcement of a pregnancy?”
“Perhaps she’s emotional on the others behalf?” Luo Binghe rationalizes.
“What does she see in you?” Liu Qingge sneers.
“Something you clearly lack.” She spits.
“Typical. Figure it out yourself, then. I don’t know why this one bothered to even try.” Liu Qingge rolls her eyes, spinning off to walk down the path back to the Rainbow Bridge. “Idiot.” She hisses before she disappears.
“Good riddance.” Luo Binghe mutters.
Liu Qingge is a child who had her favorite toy taken away. When Luo Binghe arrived back into the overworld from the abyss, she heard whispers and giggles from the Huan Hua Palace disciples that Peak Lady Liu Qingge had become fixed to Shen Qingqiu's side, attending to her every want and need. Shen Qingqiu was wrapped up in her grief from betraying Luo Binghe and throwing her in the abyss (Luo Binghe didn't know this at the time) and Liu Qingge took advantage of that, slotting herself into the role of a wife without actually being one. Shen Qingqiu may be oblivious to Liu Qingqiu advances and longing but Luo Binghe is not.
Shen Qingqiu holds great affection for her, possibly due to the fact Liu Qingge was her confidant during the time Luo Binghe was away, and the way she fought for Shen Qingqiu's body to be returned all those years, a clear declaration of the love she holds for her Shijie. Shen Qingqiu hearing about this, smiled and called her a very loyal Shimei, if Liu Qingge had heard that, she might have qi deviated right then and there.
In the end, it's Luo Binghe who won her hand.
She sweats, dread filling her stomach. She’ll bring it up to Shizun later, they’ll sit down like adults and talk it out. She’s probably started bleeding today, the first day is always the worst for Shizun. She probably forgot to drink her disgusting root tea. Luo Binghe grips her skirt. Shizun shouldn’t bleed until the twenty-second. It’s the third.
She doesn’t bring it up.
Instead she seeks out Mu Qingfang. After explaining the situation and Shen Qingqiu's odd symptoms, Mu Qingfang hums thoughtfully. She leans back in her chair, hand on her chin, reflective.
"Is there anything that can help?" Luo Binghe reaches. "A tea? Or, does she need more spiritual energy? maybe―"
"Mistress Luo," Mu Qingfang interrupts. "This one doesn't think there's any medical treatment that could, ahem, cure what Shen Qingqiu has."
Luo Binghe bolts out of her chair, distressed. "What!?"
Mu Qingfang, seeing her mistake, puts her gloved hands out frantically dismissing what she said.
"No, no not like that."
"This one is simply saying, Shen Qingqiu isn't sick." She confirms. "This one can't treat someone who isn't ill."
Luo Binghe sags back into her chair, head in her hands.
"Then what could it possibly be?" Luo Binghe mutters.
"It seems to be a matter of the heart, something this one has no experience in." Mu Qingfang sighs, picking her brush up from it's holder. "This one doesn't dare presume, but, perhaps Mistress Luo should simply ask her wife?"
"I suppose." She mumbles, standing up, heading for the door. "Thanking Lady Mu Qingfang for her time."
Mu Qingfang gives her a sympathetic eye.
"Fear not, Mistress Luo, this one is sure things will turn out well for you. Shen Qingqiu is known for bouncing back." Mu Qingfang salutes her.
Luo Binghe wanders down from Qian Cao Peak. She'll bring it up to Shen Qingqiu later, when she gets home. She'll―
She doesn't bring it up.
She doesn’t have to. After she twists her fingers inside Shen Qingqiu― hooking and pressing into the spot that makes her thrash like a wild animal caught in a hunters trap, she laps at her clit until she comes on Luo Binghe’s face, panting her name.
Luo Binghe rolls over and pretends to sleep. No blood.
It only takes an hour to realise Shen Qingqiu is also pretending to be asleep. Shen Qingqiu’s chest isn’t rising and falling as it usually does when she’s asleep, it’s quick and shallow. She’s awake.
Luo Binghe continues to keep up the ruse, in hopes she’ll get some insight into what has been plaguing her wife. Maybe she'll mumble something and give Luo Binghe a clue into her troubles. Perhaps she keeps a journal somewhere Luo Binghe doesn't know of and the things written within will clarify Shen Qingqiu's misgivings.
Shen Qingqiu slowly, carefully, removes herself from the bed.
It’s happening, Luo Binghe cries out in her head, this is it!
Luo Binghe waits ten minutes before she can’t help it anymore and sits up. She throws on a light under robe and sets off in search of her wife. Is she getting a late night snack? Her plate was clean at dinner. Is she going for a walk to clear her head? Some fresh air? Or maybe she went to go see someone― Luo Binghe's feet pressed heavier against the wood as she quietly walked through the halls. That can’t be it, She thinks. Shizun would never betray me. But Liu Qingge turning up, out of the blue, inquiring about their relationship, knowing something she doesn’t ―
Luo Binghe searches the hut, the kitchen and bathroom empty. She stands in the hall, looking down to the storage room at the end. The storage room she spent most her pitiful, little life in. She loved every second of it.
She cracks the door open an inch to glance in. Most of her things had been removed years ago and put in her now shared room with Shen Qingqiu, this room has returned back to its original purpose. Or so she thought.
A single candle was lit on the windowsill, boxes and items carefully placed around the room. There is a dresser squeezed into the corner of chests and boxes, a small rocking cot, scrolls and paintings. One of the chests is open and Luo Binghe peers in from the doorway, it’s children's toys. Rattles, marbles, a wooden cup, a kite and stitched soft toys of all kinds. In the centre of all this organized chaos, sits Shen Qingqiu in her under robe, playing with a rattle drum. She sits below the high window, against the wall, sniffling.
“Shizun..?” Luo Binghe asks hesitantly, as if not to scare off a feral alley cat.
Shen Qingqiu jumps, she fumbles throwing the drum back into the chest and slapping it shut,
“Binghe!” She exclaims, hastily trying to fret about the storage room before standing up to try shuffling Luo Binghe out the door.
Luo Binghe stills at the entrance, refusing to move. “Shizun.”
“Ah this wife― I.. Well, that is to say. All this, well it’s just…” Shen Qingqiu babbles on, shoulders pinned back in defense.
“Shizun, it’s ok.” She murmurs. Shen Qingqiu’s mouth snaps shut, she looks down, apologetic.
“Sorry.” She mumbles back. Shen Qingqiu falls into Luo Binghe’s chest with a quiet sob. “Sorry.”
Luo Binghe wraps her tightly into her, holding her securely to her chest. She leads them to the wall her wife was previously leaning on and sits them down, tucking Shen Qingqiu under her chin. They sit in silence, her wife’s sniffles resounding through the room.
“What is all this?” Luo Binghe asks when her wife’s eyes have begun drying.
“Oh nothing really,” She wipes her eyes roughly until they turn red. Luo Binghe takes her hand away and applies her handkerchief to them instead, making her wife sigh with relief.
“It seems like a very special place to Shizun.” Luo Binghe prompts. Shen Qingqiu shrugs.
“I suppose.” She avoids.
“That’s okay. You should have let this wife know, she’d be happy to get rid of old things for you to store new things.”
“You aren’t going to ask about it?”
“About what?”
“All this!” Shen Qingqiu hisses. “About all these toys, the chests and scrolls, everything!”
“If wife wants to tell this one, otherwise, she’d gladly turn a blind eye. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Luo Binghe consoles.
“Oh my god! Honestly, how can you say something like that right now!?” She snaps.
“Shizun―”
“You really don’t want to know, what all this is, why i’ve been such a bitch lately―”
“A-Yuan is not a bitch!” Luo Binghe protests loudly, offended on her behalf.
“Well I sure feel like one!” She yells back. Shen Qingqiu puts her face in her hands and cries.
“Binghe, this wife has troubled you so much. What is she supposed to do now? She knows you already told her no but she can’t help but want it. But This― you spoil me so much, this wife can’t ask for more.” She sobs.
Luo Binghe takes her by the shoulders, trying to comfort her as she weeps but she’s entirely lost. Something she can’t have? What in all the heavenly realms is she on about? Luo Binghe would bring down the stars if she only asked.
She glances around the room, trying desperately searching for something to go off, her gaze finally lands on the rocking cot. It's small and cute, the kind you'd place next to the master bed so when the infant cries, you can reach over and comfort them without even leaving bed. A cot. The toys Shizun has been collecting and seemly storing them away out of Luo Binghe's sight. why would she keep all this―
Oh.
The answer is so simple, she wants to throw up.
Maybe Shen Qingqiu should of married Liu Qingge, given how stupid her current wife is.
“A-Yuan.” She croaks, “A-Yuan, dearest, do you want a child?”
“Of course I want a child! You idiot!” She whacks Luo Binghe over the head.
“W-why didn’t you say anything?” Luo Binghe stammered.
“This wife did! She asked and Binghe said no!”
Luo Binghe blanches. “No!?”
“That’s right, you said no. Now stop rubbing it in.” Shen Qingqiu glowered, hefting herself up from her knees. "I understand we think differently and that's fine, this wife won't burden you with a child you don't want."
"I want." Luo Binghe whispers.
Shen Qingqiu recoils where she stands, "What."
"This Mistress does want a child." She confesses. Shen Qingqiu face morphs from shock to a scowl, she whacks the back of Luo Binghe's head again. Luo Binghe gladly accepts this, leaning forward to her wife.
"You lied to me!?" Shen Qingqiu snaps, turning away from where Luo Binghe is sitting, her arms folded.
"Yes." Luo Binghe concedes. "This wife didn't want to burden you with her filthily thoughts, or pressure you into something she selfishly desired."
Shen Qingqiu unfolds her arms and glances back at Luo Binghe, dubious.
"This was all just a misunderstanding?" Shen Qingqiu sighs, holding her forehead in her hand. Luo Binghe nods.
"I'm sorry." Luo Binghe whimpers.
"As you should be." She scolds. "Having this wife worried and upset over nothing. Honestly."
Luo Binghe sniffs, tears unshed in her eyes threatening to finally fall over.
"Next time, don't lie. Even if you think it's for the best. This wife wants you to speak your mind, always." Shen Qingqiu tuts, stepping over to her, patting her head tenderly. "I would never think less of you for being selfish or wanting something different from me. I love Binghe, always."
"Okay, Shizun." She sobs, fat tears falling down her cheeks. "Sorry, A-Yuan. Love A-yuan, always, too."
Shen Qingqiu extends her hand to her, "Come on now, let's go back to bed and talk about this in the morning, like adults."
Luo Binghe grabs her wrist and pulls her back onto the floor.
“Binghe!”
“Ask me again.” She pleads.
“... What?” Shen Qingqiu baffles.
“Ask me for a child again.” Luo Binghe insists.
Shen Qingqiu coughs wetly, sliding closer to Luo Binghe on her knees, her face a mess of tears and snot in the pale moonlight. She's beautiful.
“Are you sure?” She asks. Luo Binghe nods.
Shen Qingqiu entwines their hands, Luo Binghe brings their linked hands to her mouth and presses gentle kisses along the veins of Shen Qingqiu’s wrist.
“Binghe,” She chokes. “I want a baby.”
Luo Binghe inhales.
“Okay, Shizun.”