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Tommy had known Wilbur for nearly two years now.
He spent all his time on call with the man, if they were talking or not, it didn't matter, just being in each other's company was enough for both of them. Tommy could tell him anything and everything, all his worries and feelings and the man would listen him vent, give him advice, comfort him.
And Wilbur probably felt the same, too. While Tommy wasn't that good at giving advice to an adult man, he could definitely listen and talk to draw Wilbur's attention away from his anxiety. Tommy had helped the man through his worst and he knew that Wilbur was always ready to do the same for him. The man had even said on stream that Tommy was his best friend and has helped him through a lot of shit.
Their relationship was definitely something that Tommy had never had before. He'd never had a friend so close to him who'd listen to any fucking bullshit he talked about, no matter if they even understood or not. Tommy felt like not many people get to experience it. He was lucky, he was so incredibly lucky to have Wilbur in his life.
He could say with all the confidence he has that the older brunette was his best friend.
When Tommy had first talked to the man, he'd seen him as an idol, someone he looked up to. When they'd started to hang out, he'd started to see the older as more of a friend than a role model, though because of the age difference, he'd never stopped looking up to him. Their fans always called them brothers, and at some point they'd got so close that Tommy had started to genuinely feel that way too.
And he had, for a long time.
Until he hadn't. Until at some point he'd realized that calling them brothers just felt.. wrong. They weren't brothers. They were closer than that, they were best friends, no, soulmates, for fuck's sake.
He'd never said it to his viewers, he'd barely even mentioned it to the man himself.
And then his feelings had started to take another turn. A turn towards feelings that a 17-year-old should never have for an adult man 8 years his senior.
Tommy liked to think that it was because of how close they were; that because Wilbur was such a good friend to him that Tommy could genuinely say he loved the man, his love had just turned into something even deeper. Instead of loving Wilbur, he was.. in love with him now.
Because he was. God fucking knows he was.
Tommy had realized it when they'd been driving away from a vlog spot with a couple other people; he'd been on the backseat with Wilbur and Tubbo and the man had been really tired. He'd just leaned his head against Tommy shoulder and Tommy swore he could have burst out of happiness.
After the incident, the blonde started to think about how he actually felt for the man, and only then had he realized how much he wanted to just.. be close to him, feel Wilbur's arms around him, holding him close.. Fuck, he wanted Wilbur to kiss him and hold his hand, giggle softly as they joked and tell him he love him, not just like a brother but something more.
At first he'd been confused, too. Tommy knew that sexuality was a really complex thing and it wasn't too extraordinary for a seemingly straight guy to fall in love with a man, but he couldn't help but question himself. What if he was just imagining his attraction? What if it was just a passing thing because of their close relationship and some stupid fucking hormones or something; that it'd just go away in a few weeks.
But Tommy had realized quite quickly that that wasn't the case. After a month or two of keeping his feelings to himself, they started to only get stronger. No matter how shit Wilbur looked like; if his hair was a mess, eyes tired and red, he hadn't slept in two days and showered in even longer: to Tommy, the brunette was the most beautiful person he'd ever met.
His feelings weren't going away in a while.
That only lead to another problem. Deciding if confessing to the older was a shit idea or not.
Tommy knew for a fact that Wilbur wouldn't push him away because of it, but the atmosphere around them would definitely be awkward for a long time if Wilbur didn't feel the same. And Tommy was quite convinced that he didn't. After all, while Wilbur had said he felt somewhat bi-curious at times, Tommy didn't feel like there was a chance that the man would like him back, if not because he's a guy, then at least due to his age. It wouldn't sting too much when Wilbur would say he didn't feel the same, but he knew that it would hurt. Probably more that he thought.
There was also the other side of it. If Wilbur somehow did like him back. What would happen then? Would they get into a relationship? Tommy wasn't sure if he was ready for that. And the world definitely wasn't either; their viewers would immediately lash on to Wilbur, they'd call him a nonce and accuse him of grooming and manipulating Tommy. His parents probably wouldn't be too happy either. Their friends would likely support them but who fucking knows.
But it hurt so fucking much to keep the feelings to himself, pretend that Wilbur was just a friend to him when in reality he wanted so much more.
In his frustration and struggle, Tommy made a post on r/relationship_advice, just to get the final push so he could tell the man about his feelings. He posted it on an alt and changed how he met Wilbur to just meeting him through a game so people wouldn't recognize him. All else he told just as it was, explaining his situation and his concerns and also how he assumed how his feelings had developed. Tommy went particularly into detail about how genuine and close their relationship was despite the age difference and how they both mutually helped each other out. He knew that Reddit would think it was weird as fuck that Wilbur was an adult befriending a 17-year old if he didn't get it straight that the man wasn't a creep.
The post was titled "I'm a teenager (17M) in love with my adult friend (24M)", and it blew up. The post got over 1000 comments, which was a lot for the sub, but luckily no one seemed to be able to connect the dots. There were some people calling Wilbur out, as expected, but he got a lot of great advice. People were telling him that it sounded like the older would definitely understand and it wasn't good for Tommy's mental health to keep his feelings to himself, which was exactly what he'd needed to hear.
So he decided he'd tell Wilbur. He didn't want to do it on call; after all, it was literally a love confession, kinda a big thing, y'know- so Tommy decided to ask Wilbur if he wanted to hang out alone for a day or two after one of their vlogs. Tommy was going to Brighton for it and it'd be a perfect time to confess to Wilbur.
He just really hoped it wouldn't be awkward as fuck. Or ruin their friendship all together. He knew Wilbur wouldn't want that either, but Tommy seriously didn't know how they'd be supposed to move forward when the man would tell him he didn't feel the same. Maybe the answer would come naturally, as all things did between them.
He hoped so.
-
"Today was so fun, dude", Tubbo said to the others as they walked towards the train station. They'd gone to an escape room and done some other random shit in Brighton with Wilbur, Phil and Tubbo in the span of the last few days for Toby's vlog. Phil and Tubbo were taking trains to go home now and he'd stay with Wilbur for a few days. "Thank you all for coming."
"Of course man, anytime", Phil smiled. The chatted for a bit before both of their trains arrived. Tommy said goodbyes to the two before walking back to Wilbur's car with the older man.
The car ride passed by quickly, the two occasionally breaking into a short conversation or Wilbur complaining about the fellow drivers on the streets that on his opinion, were quite shit at it.
"Fucking bastard! That idiot could have just crashed into me, what the fuck?!" the brunette exclaimed at one point, making Tommy laugh loudly at his complaints. They reached Will's flat soon after. Tommy stuff was already there, as he'd dropped them off at the apartment when he'd arrived to Brighton a few days prior.
The two ate some dinner with Wilbur's roommate, David, before sitting down on the couch.
"I've got a crazy idea, Tom", Wilbur said after a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through the TV channels to find something mildly interesting to watch.
"Shoot."
"D'you think that your mum would kill me if we went to like, a rooftop somewhere in the middle of the night? To just hang out? Listen to music and shit, I'd probably drink but you wouldn't mind, yeah?"
"Dude", Tommy almost chocked on his words. "Maybe she will, but holy shit- We gotta do that."
"Yeah, well, I was just thinking about it", Wilbur spoke while a small grin on his lips. "Could be cool."
"Could? Bitch, that'd be cool as fuck."
"Okay", Wilbur laughed. "Let's do it, then. I know a place by the shore. I used to go there all the time when I was younger", the man said, closing the TV and standing up.
"We goin' now?"
"Do you want to?"
Tommy glanced at the time. It was 9pm already, and the sun would set pretty soon. "Why not", he shrugged before grinning.
They packed a backpack full of snacks and drinks, and Wilbur took a half-empty vodka bottle he had lying around. After telling Dave where they'd be going, who seemed to know exactly what Wilbur was talking about when he said they'd go to "the rooftop", they got to the door.
"You think you'll manage with just that shirt? It'll be a pretty chill night", Wilbur questioned before they got out.
"Uhh..", Tommy said in thought, glancing down at what he was wearing. It was a black Joy Division sweatshirt that Wilbur had found in a second-hand store and bought for Tommy as it was too small for him. The shirt was fairly warm but Wilbur was probably right, it'd be better if he'd have some kind of jacket with him. Wilbur had his black coat that seemed to be the only fucking coat that he had, over a crimson sweater.
"The only jacket I brought is- is like, for mid-winter or some shit, uhh.. Should I wear that or-? I think it'll be too hot in that, plus it's pretty uncomfortable, or well not uncomfortable but like-"
"Jeez, okay", Wilbur cut him off with a roll of eyes. "I'll just lend you mine if you get cold. Shut the fuck up."
"Fuck you, dude, I was just tryna explain it", Tommy bantered back, though in his mind he was just thinking about how amazing it'd be to wear Wilbur's jacket. It'd probably be so big on him as well.
They got out of the house and Tommy was relieved to find that the air wasn't as cold as he'd expected. He probably wouldn't get too cold, at least before the sun would set.
Wilbur led him through the city to the shore and walked along the seafront road for a while before they reached a more secluded-looking area. The man walked through the houses and stopped in front of a slightly smaller one. It reminded Tommy of some warehouse type of thing but it could have also been an abandoned house or something similar. There was a metallic ladder that led to the roof, and though Tommy thought it looked pretty wretched, Wilbur just grabbed one of the rungs and started climbing up. Tommy glanced around, and after seeing that no one was around, he climbed up after the brunette. The building had two floors so it wasn't exactly a low one, so Tommy was a bit freaking out as he climbed up, but he got up safely.
When they reached the rooftop, instead of sitting down as Tommy had expected, Wilbur started to walk towards another roof that was right next to the one they were standing on. It was a lot bigger and seemed to have no other buildings in front of it blocking the view to the sea, unlike this one. Tommy followed after the man, a bit more careful with his steps than Wilbur seemed to be.
"How the fuck- you really want me to jump there?" Tommy said when he realized that the other rooftop was not attached to the one they were one, but instead lower down and also at least a meter away.
"It's really not that bad", Wilbur said, gazing at the other roof. "Hey, I'll go first, yeah- or we can go back, that's completely okay too. 'M not gonna force you into anything, or course." The man turned around to look at Tommy, and the blond saw that the look in his eyes was genuine.
Tommy examined the jump a bit. He could only barely see from where he was standing that there even was a crack, so at least it wasn't that big, but he also could clearly see that the other rooftop was a lot lower down. In his mind he knew that there was no way he'd fall down, but the jump still scared the shit out of him.
But then again, Wilbur had seemingly done it many times, and also, he was with Wilbur, and there was nothing to be scared about when he was with Wilbur.
"Whatever, fine, but you'll go first", Tommy finally said.
"Of course", Wilbur said. He took a few steps back before running forward and jumping. The man seemed to fly in the air for a second, but before Tommy's heart could have the time to miss a beat out of fear for his best friend, Wilbur had already landed. Far from the crack. He'd seemingly jumped way more further away than necessary, just to make sure he didn't fall off. Tommy let out a breath that had stuck in his throat as his shoulders relaxed again.
"It'll be fine, just jump as far as you can and I promise you'll be completely fine", Wilbur smiled reassuringly. Tommy still felt nervous, but Wilbur smile gave him strength, and so he took a deep breath before doing the same as Wilbur, taking a few steps back and running forward before he could give it a second thought. He jumped into the air but landed weirdly on the rooftop, collapsing slightly and hitting his knees against the hard steel. Tommy instinctively jolted his hands forward to lean into them, and his balanced seemed to be a bit off before he felt grip hands grab his armpits.
Tommy raised his startled gaze, meeting Wilbur eyes that were surprisingly close to his. The brunette helped him up and chuckled teasingly at Tommy flustered expression.
"Look at that, wasn't too bad."
"..fuck you, dude, I swear I had a fucking heart attack.."
Wilbur giggled at his words and started to walk down towards the edge of the roof. Tommy followed after him and only now realized to look around. You could see the sea from the roof due to how tall the building was and how close it was to the waterline. It was a little dark already, as it was half 10, so the city lights were on and and painted the dark-blue view in dots of orange and yellow as he looked to the other directions.
In other words, it was damn pretty place.
"Dude.." Tommy said. Luckily Wilbur understood it as a synonym for 'this is the most beautiful place I've ever been in, I love you', and smiled softly at him.
"Pretty, innit?"
"Fuck off, man.." Tommy said, still startled by the view before him. "I just.. yeah."
Wilbur only chuckled gently. He sat down on the steel pretty much midway through how far away the edge was, the younger sitting down next to him.
Wilbur took the backpack off of his back and placed it down in between them, or well, in between their legs, as they were sitting fairly close and the bag wouldn't have properly fit between their torsos. He opened it and took out his vodka before placing a bag of chips next to it. Tommy instantly grabbed a fistful and stuffed them to his mouth while getting his water bottle from the bag.
Wilbur started searching for something from the backpack. He took out his phone and a pair of earphones. The man plugged them in and handed Tommy the other one.
"Song?" Will asked when they both had one earplug in.
"Uh, fuck- She Crows."
"I've taught you well."
"Shut up, bitch", Tommy gave the older a light push on the shoulder as he put the song on. The familiar tune started to play in his ear. The volume was pretty low, as the place was really quiet so the music could be heard well and they'd still be able to hear each other no matter how quiet they'd be speaking. But fuck, why did it sound so perfect? Like this fucking song was meant to be listened on a rooftop in the middle of the night with your crush. Fuck.
They ate chips in peaceful silence, enjoying the magical view and stealing glances at each other.
Tommy had a feeling that this was something special. Something he likely wont have many opportunities to experience. For some reason sitting on the rooftop with Wilbur, staring at the sea and the dark night sky, listening to this fucking overdramatic band that Tommy couldn't but love from the bottom of his heart- it was something else.
The song changed, Wilbur probably had autoplay on. It was again one that Tommy very well recognized.
"POG- Feels like the build-up takes forever, but you never touch my cock-"
"That bit doesn't come yet, dumbass."
"YES IT DOES! It said-"
"No, it's literally 'get me off' the first time, get your fucking Los Campesinos lyrics right, bitch-"
"FUCK YOU!!" Tommy yelled, giving Wilbur a playful punch, which made the man the grab his neck in revenge. "AHH- stop it, fuck off-"
Wilbur laughed with a wide smile on his lips, giving Tommy one last playful push before they calmed down to concentrate on the music again.
"'M cold", Tommy said at some point.
"Hmph, fuckin' course you are.. C'mere", the older man rolled his eyes, though the smile on his lips was soft. He stretched out his arm while grabbing his coat, signing for Tommy sit next to him. The boy moved the stuff out of the way and shifted towards the older man, pressing against his side as Wilbur took his arm out of the sleeve and gave it to Tommy instead, so that they were both stuffed inside the jacket.
Tommy let out a deep sigh.
"You alright?" Wilbur asked gently.
"Mhm."
The man's breath felt hot on his ear as Tommy's head leaned against his shoulder. Wilbur's chest rose in a peaceful pace, Tommy feeling it against his back and side. "You know you can always talk to me if you have something.. on your mind, yeah."
"I know", Tommy replied with a mumble. "I know that, Wilbur."
Silence fell between them again. Wilbur's arm was wrapped around his waist and his fingers were caressing the boy's side gently, almost subconsciously.
"..I have feelings for you, you know."
The words came out of his mouth without planning, but Tommy didn't feel any less relaxed after he'd blurted them out. He stared at the sea with half-closed eyelids, like it was just some other passing mention, completely relaxed and comfortable in Wilbur's arms. He felt the man slightly tense up next to him, but he quickly relaxed after letting out a slow, quiet breath.
"..I know you probably don't feel the same way, and that's fine, I just.. had to get it off my chest."
Tommy's voice was still quiet, and though he wasn't facing Wilbur, he could feel the man nod slowly as his chin touched his scalp. His finger brushed gently up and down the younger's side. Tommy, slightly concerned by the lack of words from the older male, gazed up to meet eyes with Wilbur. The brunette's expression was relaxed and his eyes urged him to continue.
"Just.. You mean so much to me." Tommy's voice was a quiet mumble, barely louder than a whisper. "I sometimes feel like I don't even fucking'- deserve someone like you in my life. Y'know, all those times I've said I loved you- I really, really fucking meant it. You mean the world to me, Wilbur."
Wilbur let out a quiet sigh, one only heard by Tommy due to their close proximity. "..Tommy, I-.."
It was quiet for a moment, the only clear noise heard being Wilbur's calm breathing against his ear.
"I guess I.. feel the same way. Just.."
Tommy finally opened his eyes more than halfway through. He stared at the view for a few seconds, taken aback by Wilbur's words. Tommy let out a breath before turning so he was leaning the side of his head against Wilbur's neck. The grip of the man's arms around him tightened, pressing the boy against his chest as the older buried his nose into the blonde curls.
"You do?" Tommy's voice was a mumble, muffled by the fabric of Wilbur's shirt against his face.
"..yeah. I.." Wilbur said. His voice died for a moment like he was searching for the right words. "..I've just- I haven't let those feelings develop because of.. your age and how you always told me you were straight, I just.. Didn't really push them away, I just ignored it, so I really need to figure myself out, in case you were thinking this was going to go somewhere like, right now."
Tommy nodded understandingly. "I wasn't thinking that- I don't think I'd be ready for a relationship either way, and it'd also be such a mess if people found out, just.."
"Mmm", Wilbur hummed, though Tommy wasn't sure if it was an agreeing hum or not.
"I didn't even dare to consider that you'd like me back", Tommy let out a small laugh. "Figured the heartbreak would be much lesser if I didn't lead myself on."
Wilbur chuckled into his hair, raising his head a bit so he could run his fingers through the soft locks. Tommy sighed softly, closing his eyes and relaxing completely in Wilbur's arms.
"People are not gonna like it if this goes somewhere."
"Mhm, if you're so worried, let's just wait until you're eighteen- if you'll still feel this way", Wilbur hummed. "What the fuck can they do then? Say you can't make your own decisions as an adult?"
Tommy chuckled gently. "True. And I sure as fuck will feel the same way. I've always loved and I always fucking will- just like, romantically now, y'know."
Wilbur hummed in agreement before letting out a short laugh. "You talk about that so casually."
Tommy giggled with the older man. "I guess I do. I don't feel nervous around you. Ever."
His words were said in a humorous tone, but it made Wilbur glance down at him with such a loving, flustered expression that Tommy couldn't help the wide smile that spread on his lips. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against Wilbur's chin, feeling the short stubbles of his unshaved beard tingle against his lips. He loved it. He loved the little imperfections in Will, things that you couldn't notice if you didn't pay extra attention to his features- the mole below his lower lip, the small scar that crossed his cheek, all of it.
"I love you, Tom." The older brunette's words tingled his ear. Tommy let out a restful breath.
"I love you too."
They sat like that for a while; cuddled on the rooftop, silent except for the soft music playing through the earphones. Tommy could feel Wilbur's warm breath against his face. It felt even warmer in the otherwise cool air.
Eventually Tommy complained about the coldness, and after Wilbur's initial amused chuckles, they decided to leave. They'd been there for at least two hours, so it was almost midnight.
Luckily they didn't have to jump back to the other roof, as there apparently was a big stone wall right under the roof on the other side of the building. They just couldn't have climbed up that way, as it was so tall. Tommy was nervous to jump down the over 3 meter tall wall, but Wilbur went first, again, and Tommy gained the courage to do the same with the reward of crashing down into Wilbur's arms.
"We gotta do that again sometime", Tommy said as they were walking back. "But for longer. It'd be cool to watch the sunset."
"Yeah", Will smiled. "We gotta go later tho if you wanna do that. 9's a bit too early." Tommy nodded in agreement.
They were crossing a bridge at the moment. Tommy leaned his head a bit to the side, touching Wilbur's shoulder. They were walking closely next to each other, and Will's fingers gently brushed against his.
Tommy sent a glance up to the older man, but couldn't see his expression in the darkness. He felt the brunette's hand softly wrap around his own. Tommy grabbed his hand, his face blushing slightly at the size difference.
The man slowed down his steps a little, turning towards Tommy and raising their hands. Wilbur pressed his lips softly against Tommy's knuckles before taking a step forward and caressing his cheek gently. A soft smile found it's way into Wilbur's face as he laid his hands on the younger's cheeks. Tommy raised his hands to place them on top of Will's. He closed his eyes and exhaled, leaning in to the older man's touch.
In the faint, orange light of the lampposts, with the soft sound of the waves below them, Wilbur gently lifted Tommy's face upwards and pressed their lips together. Will's mouth moved slowly against his, his other hand leaving Tommy's cheek to place it on his hip. Tommy drowned in the feeling of the brunette's lips, the gentle, loving touches on his body.
They broke apart for a moment, their faces still close together.
"Will", Tommy breathed out in a fragile voice. Wilbur brushed his hand down his cheek carefully, like the boy could have broken at any harsh movement. Tommy leaned against the brunette's chest, the older man wrapping his hands around the teen and letting Tommy bury his face into the crook of Will's neck. He caressed his back gently before lightly pushing Tommy off of him, with one last kiss that he placed on the blonde's forehead.
"Never thought you'd be such a sap, Tommy."
Tommy exhaled with a roll of eyes. Of course this fucking guy couldn't go on for a few hours of affection without slipping in a snarky comment. Tommy should have been expecting his. "I hate you", he said, the smile on his lips completely conflicting with his words.
"Doesn't seem like it", Wilbur could barely finish the quietly said sentence before he leaned in to kiss Tommy again.
Wilbur grabbed his hand again, their fingers entangling. They walked in silence the rest of the way to Will's and David's apartment, this time not stopping to have a kiss straight from a rom-com in the middle of a random bridge.
They opened the door quietly to not wake up David. After getting something to eat, the two were about to go to bed. It was well over midnight already.
"Can I sleep in your bed?" Tommy asked. They'd set up a mattress in the living room floor for Tommy, on which he'd slept on last night, but he assumed that after what they'd done, the boundaries between them probably had been reset.
"Of course", Will smiled at him.
Tommy brushed his teeth after Wilbur, so when he came to the room, Wilbur was already in bed. The man was on his phone but put it on the bedside table when he saw Tommy come in. The blonde undressed and slid under the covers, feeling Wilbur's arms wrap around him the moment he was close enough. Tommy breathed out peacefully and snuggled closer to the older man. Wilbur was shirtless as well, and Tommy blushed at the skin-to-skin contact with him.
Before Wilbur turned the lights off, he caressed Tommy's hair for a moment.
"..Tom?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you.." Wilbur started, his voice fading out as he seemed to be searching for the right words. "Do you wanna like.. get into a relationship, or what?"
"Mmm", Tommy hummed. "I.. I dunno if I'm ready for that. Yet at least. It's.. I mean, of course it's not technically a big deal, it's just.. I've always seen shit like that as pretty serious, so. It's a lot."
"Yeah, I get that. That's fine. I need to figure myself out a bit too. I guess I already said that, back of the roof."
Tommy chuckled against the man's chest. "Yeah."
Wilbur finally switched the lights off, with Tommy now only feeling the older's arms around his torso. Their legs tangled together in the darkness and Wilbur pressed a soft kiss below his ear before they settled down. Tommy fell asleep with the feeling of Wilbur all around him, his smell clouding his senses like a drug, and he couldn't have been happier.