Chapter Text
As the final note of Heart and Soul rings through LUX, drawn out softly for as long as the piano would allow, a sense of finality rushes over Chloe. She’d been struggling against the dreadful feeling of inevitability for days, now. Deny, deny, deny, is all she’s been able to do as she watched this new daughter of hers insist that her father would abandon her. Now, sitting in Lucifer’s lap as they share watery smiles and endless kisses, she knows there’s nothing left to deny or avoid.
Nonetheless – she’s sure she doesn’t have the strength to initiate moving from this spot.
It’s Lucifer who does, in the end. He murmurs a quiet “come on,” in that way he does where the words seem to blur together into one syllable. When she hesitates to move from his lap, he maneuvers her legs around his hips so that he can stand with her still in his arms. His whole frame shudders, and Chloe knows it’s not from supporting her weight.
They ride the elevator back up to the penthouse, to the space they’d spent so much time together in over the last couple months. Their short, but oh-so-blissful months of loving each other fully, without reservations. Their own little Heaven.
When she slides down his body and her feet hit the floor, she feels Lucifer turn towards the balcony. Immediately, she catches his hand and tugs him back.
“No,” she murmurs, head shaking from side to side. She’s trembling again with the effort to keep from sobbing.
Lucifer’s hand comes up to cup her cheek, his eyes glassy again. “Chloe – love, I have to do this,” he implores.
“I know! I know,” she says through hitched breaths. “I won’t beg you to stay, not like last time. I just… I can’t watch you leave from that balcony again. I can’t, Lucifer. I can’t,” she cries, burying her head against his chest.
“Alright,” he reassures her, running his hand up and down her back. “Alright, then.” Lucifer sighs, and she pulls back enough to see him glancing around the penthouse, then into the bedroom, and finally back down at her. “Shall we go to bed, then? It’s been an unimaginably long day.”
She knows what he’s suggesting. They’ll go to bed, as if everything is normal. As if their worlds aren’t crashing down around them. As if they aren’t losing each other, yet again. And then he’ll slip quietly away in the night, and she’ll wake up without her partner beside her.
There’s nothing that will make this easy. Nothing to make it better. But she knows she can’t handle watching him fly off that balcony again, so it’s as good a plan as any. She nods against him.
They settle together in his luxuriously soft sheets, tangling their bodies as closely as possible. Sharing soft touches, they take comfort in each other’s bodies. There are more tears, but also more smiles, and more soft laughs. They simply exist together.
“You have full access to all of my bank accounts and investments, by the way,” he tells her at some point. “My lawyer and accountants will be in contact in the next few days. And please don’t argue with me on this. I won’t have you wanting for anything when I’ve got endless wealth sitting uselessly in the bank.”
“I’ll be back with the LAPD, soon, so I-”
“I know,” Lucifer interrupts. “But it’s not as if your salary with them has ever afforded you much security. And now, with another little one…” He rolls so that he’s hovering over top of her. “If I can’t be here, I can at least do this. Please let me take care of you in this one way,” he begs.
“Okay,” she reassures him. She doesn’t have it in her to fight him, even if she wants to. “Okay. I’ll use it if I need to.”
He nods, looking reassured. Then, he smiles down at her. “Take the girls on a vacation occasionally, will you? Have fun. As much fun as you can manage,” he chokes out.
Without you? she wants to reply, so badly. But she can’t. She won’t make this harder on him than she needs to. So, she laughs wetly and agrees to try.
Her eyes are so heavy, and Chloe feels as though she’s losing her battle to prolong this moment. When her phone starts vibrating where she left it beside the bed though, she jolts.
“It’s Trixie,” she tells him when she picks up the device. It’s late, but Chloe has grown used to the late-night calls from her daughter on nights when she’s with her grandparents. This one will be different, though. “Do you want to say goodbye?” she asks the man beside her.
At first, she’s afraid he’ll say no. His face is so full of dread and pain that she barely manages to refrain from kissing him again.
“She’s the only one I haven’t gotten to say goodbye to,” he tells her. “But I feel as though I’ve let her down so much lately, she’s been so angry with me…”
“She loves you,” Chloe reminds him, flashes of Trixie’s devilish artwork playing through her mind. “She only wanted a goodbye, last time.”
Taking a deep, steadying breath, he nods. They sit up against the headboard, and Chloe accepts the FaceTime call just before it stops ringing.
“Hi, baby,” Chloe starts, and she knows immediately that any hopes she had of keeping the tears out of her voice were a delusion. “Everything okay?”
“Mom? Why are you crying? What’s going on?” Trixie asks through the phone, frowning. She doesn’t look upset, so Chloe’s hopeful that her reason for calling wasn’t another nightmare.
“I’m okay, Trix, don’t worry. We’re just, uhm. We’ve got something to talk to you about,” Chloe starts, unsure of how to go about this.
“’We’?” Trixie repeats. “Is Lucifer there?”
Chloe passes the phone to him, and watches as he attempts a smile for her daughter. “Hello, child.”
“Hey,” she greets back. “What’s going on?”
“I-“ Lucifer starts, before his words seem to get stuck in his throat. “Trixie, I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry for not properly saying goodbye when I left, all those months ago. I’m sorry you felt as though I’d forgotten you. I never could.
“Because, the truth is, Trixie, you’ve taught me more about love, and goodness, and humanity, and fun than nearly anyone. It’s been such an honour watching you grow into the strong, beautiful young woman you’re becoming,” Lucifer says, and Chloe has to put a hand over her mouth to keep from sobbing. “And I am so grateful that my daughter will have such an incredible sibling to learn from.”
Chloe watches as Trixie’s brows come together in confusion. “Your daughter?”
Lucifer turns to Chloe, a sad smile on his face as he shifts the phone so that they both can be seen on the picture.
“I’m pregnant, honey,” Chloe tells her before turning her head to peck Lucifer’s cheek. “You’re gonna be a big sister.”
“No way,” Trixie says, and for the briefest of moments Chloe worries that she’s upset. She doesn’t have to wait long, however, before her daughter lets out an excited squeal and states “This. Is. Awesome.”
They all take a moment to laugh together, soaking in the little bit of joy from this moment that, if things were different, would have been nothing but. Things aren’t different, though.
“But… why are you guys crying?” Trixie asks when the moment ends. Chloe attempts to find words to answer her question, but all that comes out is a choked whimper.
“I’m so sorry, Trixie, but I’m afraid… I’m afraid I need to go back to Hell again,” Lucifer manages, saving Chloe from having to say it.
“No,” the girl says through the small screen. “Why? Again? Why?” she demands, tears now welling up in her eyes too.
“I don’t want to, I don’t, but I must. It’s the only way, and I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Trixie.”
Chloe’s heart breaks for the millionth time today as she watches him fall apart. None of them want this. He doesn’t want to hurt Trixie in this way again. It all brings the sacrifice they’re making back to the front of her mind. He’s not only giving up a life with his own daughter, he’s giving up a life with this girl who he’d come to love as if she were his own.
“Listen to me, Trix,” Chloe cuts through their crying. “I’m going to explain everything to you, okay? I should have a long time ago, but I will now. I’ll explain why it has to be this way, and why, someday, we’ll be thankful we did it.” She gasps through her grief but manages to continue. “We will see him again someday, Trixie. Do you hear me? We will.”
Trixie nods, knowing that she’s not going to get all the answers she wants tonight. Instead of arguing, she lets out a quiet “I love you, Lucifer.”
“I love you too,” he manages. “Watch out for your mum and baby sister, will you? Please? For me?”
“I will. I’ll take care of them,” Trixie says with that absolute confidence that serves her so well in life. “Goodnight, guys.”
“Night, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Chloe says with a sad smile.
“Goodbye, my little urchin,” Lucifer adds, and they both watch Trixie giggle once more before she ends the call.
The moment the screen goes black, the grief overwhelms them again. Chloe cradles his head against her chest as he cries, murmuring against his hair. “Thank you,” she tells him over and over. “Thank you for giving her that.”
Eventually, Chloe knows she has exhausted herself. Her sobs and cries turn into hiccups, her eyes close against her will. Several times, she feels herself drifting off into oblivion before desperately yanking herself back into consciousness.
“It’s alright, Chloe,” she registers him whisper to her the next time she finds herself in that strange place between waking and sleeping. “Let yourself rest. I’ll always be right here, with you. Always. Let go, my love.”
“I love you,” she manages to whisper, and she gets to hear his sweet reply one last time before she falls into the abyss of slumber and the end of their earthly life together, knowing he’ll be gone when she wakes.