Chapter Text
In Gakushuu’s defense,
who would have thought that a perfectly normal amount of caffeine, thank you very much; would result in a seizure.
***
It had started off as sheer curiosity. The principal had given him money as a reward for ranking first consistently throughout the second year. Gakushuu was ecstatic, he was finally allowed some freedom in his very tight schedule. The principal did not approve of unnatural foods that negatively affected the brain. He had grown up with a diet consistent with whole grain and healthy home cooked meals. Gakushuu could tell you the last time he had sugar. He could count on his fingers, the number of times he was allowed to eat take out.
So the day after his father gave him Money, Gakushuu went to the cafe that stood between the school and his house. When he looked at the menu he felt sweat drip from his forehead. frappuccino- americano-affogato- Who knew that there were this many flavors of coffee? Was coffee a genre of art?!
To no one's surprise Gakushuu quickly got hooked on caffeine. It was common to see him holding a cup of coffee before class. When he showed up with two cups, one for the morning and one for the afternoon, no one batted an eye.
That's Asano for you, Sometimes i think that that he runs solely on caffeine alone
I wouldn't expect any less from our student council prez
Third year was when it got worse. If you asked one of the five Virtuous, they would say that Gakushuu could handle himself. (Future note: DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. HE CANNOT)
See, Gakushuu was raised in a … certain type of household. A type of household where anything lower than first is unacceptable. Anything but gold is a big red mark.
He remembers being 8 and winning second place in a particularly hard math commintition. The judge had approached him after the event, telling him that he should be proud of how high he scored. He remembers being happy. Scoring high while faced against people double his age was a feat children his age could only dream of.
In the corner of his eye Gakushuu saw his father patiently waiting for him to finish the conversation with the judge. His father led him out of the building. A firm grip on his forearm. The principal stared at him. His dull eyes turned sharp, and the smile Gakushuu was so familiar seeing, seeped into his face like poison.
His father pushed him into the car as he signalled the driver to start moving.
Gakushuu held on to his silver trophy like a lifeline.
(Be silent, boy.
For now,
you will learn)
“Asano, do you know the first man to step foot on the moon?” His father questioned.
“Neil Armstrong.” Gakushuu answered, his voice wavering. Fear flooded his body, where was his father going with this?
“Hm. Do you know who was the second?”
He racked his brain . Who was it?! Adrien? No! Faster! He had to be quick before the principal-
“You don’t know. Do you know why that is?” Gakushuu stayed silent. Everything was foggy, had he failed? What had he done wrong? Before gakushuu could waste any more time with his thoughts, a rough hand grabbed him by the jaw.
“Listen to me closely. No one remembers the man who came second. You can’t remember his name because he doesn't matter. You don't matter unless you come first. When you’re first, you discover it all, you achieve high lengths. You break records. People who place second are only walking into the footsteps already made in front of them. That disgusting silver trophy you're holding so tightly, it means nothing. Nothing. At. All.” His father snatched the trophy out of his grasp, scraping him in the process.
Snap
Gakushuu's eyes widened. He wanted to cry, to scream, to yell. He stayed silent. He knew better.
“This isn't a prize. This is a reminder that you failed. That no one will remember you. That you're useless.” The principal rolled the car window down. Throwing the silver trophy onto the ground as if it were a piece of disposable trash. “From now on, I don't want you to be better. Make yourself the best. Crush everyone that comes in your way. Make sure they don't even have a chance to retaliate”
“Yes, sir” Gakushuu’s voice trembled. A myriad of thoughts running through his head.
He's right, I couldn't even remember that man's name.
If I couldn't remember it, how would others remember mine?
How will I become strong, if no one can see me?!
Turns out putting extreme amounts of pressure on a child, does in fact lead him to cope with unhealthy methods. Yes, Asano Gakuhou children do need support from their parents to have a healthy active mind.
Gakushuu developed a kind of … mentality due to his living conditions. Rules for his survival. Ways to make sure he was always one step ahead of the principal. One of those rules was to put his grades above everything.
Most people just skipped outings with their friends, Gakushuu wasn't like that. Studying was not a chore to him. It was not a way to learn something new. It was how he survived. The principal wouldn't bother you if he saw you were working. Survival trump all. It trumps meals, and it certainly trumps sleep. He couldn't be distracted, he couldn't risk it.
Not when the centipede was crawling and scratching and biting his skin. Not when the centipede whispered and screeched in his ear. Telling him that no matter what he does, or how much he tries, it will never be enough. The centipede is a parasite that controls every part of him. A small ant can't escape it. It would be foolish to even try.
So yes, Gakushuu often skips sleep. Instead he stays up with workbooks, textbooks and anything that will distract him. Coffee fits into this very well. It helps him focus, helps him stay on guard. A cure to all the side effects of his lack of sleep. It helps him be untouchable. Unreachable to an average human.
(foolish boy, don't you know?
You cannot run
You cannot slip
For its head is attached to your soul)