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Spencer Reid was acting more squirrely than usual, and you hadn’t even seen him drink that much coffee today. Which was unusual in and of itself. Ever since he’d gotten out of prison, Spencer had really retreated into himself, he made no effort to even appear like he wanted to go out with the rest of the team when someone suggested going for drinks – instead, he’d just slink off to catch the train home and watch Star Trek. You worried about him, probably more in the last eight months than you had in the last four years of knowing the man.
The moment you set foot into the BAU and ran straight into the world’s tallest man with the wildest hair in the world you knew you had found your best friend. Spencer sat at the desk right across from yours, and for the last four years, you spent every day sitting across from your favorite person on Earth. Apart from the months that Spencer was in prison, there wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t at least speak to him. You knew when something was wrong, and today, it was clear that something was wrong.
“Spence,” You called, tossing a balled-up post-it note at him. “You okay over there?”
“Hm?” He asked distractedly. “Oh, yeah, perfectly fine. Just – uh – just thinking.”
He got up to refill his coffee again, this at least was normal behavior for the resident genius. Your eyes traced him from his desk towards the little kitchenette, only looking back down at your desk when you met Luke’s eyes and he gave you a questioning eyebrow raise. Something about the look your friend sent you made you nervous as if he’d somehow figured out about your crush on Spencer. How could he not have? You watched him like a lovesick puppy, and you made every excuse to talk to him and spend more time at the office to be alone with him. It was torture. But it wasn’t like Luke had any room to judge, what with his not at all well-hidden love for the one and only Penelope Garcia.
There was a part of you that liked to say you were in love with him, but you felt it was hard to say you were in love with someone when you didn’t know them in the intimate way that people in relationships knew each other. So, you settled on saying you had feelings for Spencer – those feelings had followed you around as Spencer became one of your best friends in the world when you saw him endure prison when he was kidnapped again and again when he started dating Maxine. And through it all, you did your very best to make sure Spencer never suspected even for a moment that you felt anything for him beyond a typical best friendship. It would have destroyed you to have this man – the one with the wild hair that could never be tamed, and the big beautiful brain, and the body that you wanted to be pressed against you at every moment of the day – the man you could never get tired of being around rejected you. So, you never gave him the opportunity to.
Hours passed, and Spencer seemed to still be in a funk. Part of you wanted to ask again if he was alright, but you didn’t want to bug him and have him shut down completely. You waited until the rest of the team had said their goodbyes and trickled out of the office, even Emily had gone long ago. Spence remained at his desk, fiddling with paperwork that he typically would have finished hours ago. Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore, standing from your desk and collecting your stuff before moving over to your friend.
“Come on, pretty boy,” You sighed. “I’m taking you home.”
“Hm?” He looked up at you in surprise. “Oh, no that’s okay, I’ll just get the train.”
“It’s pouring out, Spence,” You chuckled. “And that’s a cashmere sweater if I’m not mistaken.”
He looked down at the cute blue sweater that covered the expanse of his chest and sighed, clearly resigning himself to the fact that unless he wanted to destroy the material of what was probably an expensive sweater, he needed to accept your offer of a ride home. You tried not to let it bother you that he seemed so adamant not to spend more time with you.
Silently, and a little twitchy if you were honest, Spencer packed up his familiar leather satchel and fell into step with you towards the elevator. You tried prodding him with questions to see if he was alright, but he refused to give you an answer that was more than a few words at a time the entire drive to his place. Suddenly, you wondered if he was mad at you – for what you would have no idea, but still, it felt like a valid worry to have.
When you parked in your usual spot out in front of his building, you waited a moment before unlocking the doors, turning in your seat to face him.
“(Y/n)?” He asked, urging you to say why you were keeping him in your car.
“Are you mad at me for something?”
“What?” He asked, eyes wide with surprise. “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” You sighed with a shrug. “All day you’ve just been a little – distant. I guess I just wanted to make sure we were okay.”
“We’re fine,” He said, not elaborating even a little.
“So…” You pushed with a tiny chuckle. “Is everything alright with you?”
“Y-yeah,” He shrugged. “Everything’s fine.”
“I know when you’re lying, Spencer Reid,” You said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing,” He said. “It’s stupid.”
“I’m sure it’s not stupid, Spence,” You said. He just shrugged again, making you sigh. “I won’t force you to confide in me, but you do know I’m here if you want to talk, right?”
Spencer was silent, staring down at his hands that he had knotted together nervously. Now that worried you, it was his tell for when he was holding something in that was really bothering him. As subtly as you could, you checked out his under-eye bags, and the whiteness of his eyes. Clearly, not subtly enough since he rolled his eyes at you and widened them so you could see they weren’t red at all.
“I meant it when I said it was stupid,” He sighed. “At least, you’ll think it was stupid.”
“I promise I won’t,” You held up your pinky for him. He hesitated a moment before wrapping his pinky around yours and shaking. “Now, tell me.”
“Okay, so,” Spencer started, not looking into your eyes. “The other night, Max and I were together, and things were progressing.”
“Progressing?” You asked, trying to ignore the acidic burn of jealousy at the mention of Spencer’s girlfriend. “As in…?”
“A-as in s-sexually p-progressing,” He stammered out nervously. Adorably.
“Ah.”
“You know what let’s just forget this –”
“Not a chance, pretty boy,” You said, grabbing his arm before he could flee. “Keep going, you guys were…?”
“We were kissing,” He said, completely unaware of the rage pulsing through you. “O-on my couch and things started to go further than they ever had before. W-we – I – I was going to perform – um – oral sex on her.”
“Ick, Spence, just say you were going to eat her out,” You giggled despite the despair you felt at the fact that he was doing this with somebody else, squeezing his pinky so he knew you weren’t making fun of him.
“Right,” He said, his cheeks turning redder with every second that you talked about this. “I was going to – um – e-eat her out, and I just – I chickened out. I told her I wasn’t ready.”
“It’s okay to not be ready,” You said. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“But I want to do it!” He exclaimed. “I’m just – I’m scared I’m going to mess it up.”
“You like her.”
“Yeah,” Spencer sighed, running a hand over his face. “I really like her, and I want to be good for her – even if I am a virgin.”
“Tell her that,” You said. “Tell her you don’t have a lot of experience and tell her you’d like to get a little practice in if you know what I mean.”
“Y-yeah, I – uh – I know what you mean,” He chuckled nervously. “I guess I just wish there was a way for me to, you know, practice without her, so I can just be good for her without any of the awkwardness of her having to tell me where to touch her.”
You were quiet for a moment, thinking about the worst possible idea you could ever suggest to him – but it wouldn’t go away.
“That’s not possible though,” He laughed.
“Sure, it is,” You said, before proceeding to blurt the very last thing you should have said. “You can practice with me.”
“What?”
“I – uh –”
“You mean like, y-you and I –?”
“Forget it,” You shook your head. “It’s stupid.”
“No, no it’s not stupid, it’s perfect,” Spencer said, grabbing your hand. “(Y/n), you’d really do that for me?”
Your skin tingled where he touched you, and you knew how excited or grateful your germaphobe must have been to be holding your hand.
“I – yeah,” You said, against your better judgment. He was too cute for his own good, especially with those wide, earnest eyes. “You’re my best friend. B-but what about Max?”
“Oh,” He said, visibly deflating. “You’re right, i-isn’t that cheating?”
“More like studying,” You shrugged. “Just, you know, very hands-on.”
“Right,” He said, gaining that confidence back. “It’s not like there will be any feelings there, I should talk to Max about this.”
“Yeah,” You swallowed. “D-definitely.”
“(Y/n), I – thank you,” He said softly.
“Don’t thank me yet, Reid,” You laughed, ignoring the confusion on his face when you used his last name. “Your girlfriend hasn’t even agreed to this yet.”
“I know,” He nodded. “But you offered, and it means a lot.”
“Yeah, well,” You said, feeling your cheeks heat with the embarrassment of his full attention on you. “Can’t let you wander around being a virgin forever, right?”
“Right,” Spencer laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
As soon as Spencer was out of your car and racing to the front door of his building, you laid your head against the steering wheel and groaned at just what a moron you could be sometimes before you finally put the car in reverse and drove home. This was such a horrible idea. Spencer was sure there would be no feelings involved, but of course, he thought that when he had no idea that there already were feelings involved. If only there was a section about this in Cosmo “What to Do When the Man You Love Needs You to Teach Him How to Fuck His Girlfriend.” You were in such major shit.
You had a small sliver of hope that the next morning, Spencer would have come to his senses and realized what a ridiculous idea it was – since there was no hope that he would have forgotten your conversation, with that eidetic memory of his – but alas, when you walked into the office at eight-thirty the next morning, Spencer was placing a blueberry muffin on your desk and giving you the same grateful smile he’d given you the night before. The truth is, you couldn’t be more excited about getting the chance to have Spencer’s hands on you, but you knew when you finished your little lesson and he took that knowledge to go please another girl, it was going to break your heart.
“Hey, Spence,” You said when you reached your desk.
“Hi,” He said before lowering his voice. “S-so I talked to Max.”
“Oh? That was fast,” You intoned, dropping into your desk chair and booting up your computer. “What did she say?”
“She thinks it’s a good idea – a great idea actually,” He said. “She thinks it’s important for us to both be comfortable, and she knows that this would make me more comfortable being with her.”
“Alright,” You nodded, taking a steadying breath. “So, when do you want to –”
“Do you want to come over tonight?” He asked hopefully.
“Uh, sure,” You said. “Yeah, tonight will work.”
“Great,” Spencer grinned. “We can leave together.”
“Perfect,” You smiled at him as he walked back to his desk. The second his eyes weren’t on you anymore your smile dropped.
Honestly, the idea of Spencer touching you in any way lit your nerves on fire. You were desperate to know what it felt like to have his hands on you, to feel his kisses littering your skin, and to hear him whisper against your body. His moans – they would linger in your brain until you were dust in the ground. So, you could say that you were conflicted about the night ahead.
The day moved quickly, you had a mountain of paperwork to get through, which was a relief – it took your mind off of Spencer and the fantasies your mind kept conjuring up of things you wanted to do with him. The only time you couldn’t make yourself forget about your evening plans was when Spencer gently placed a mug of coffee near your elbow and double-tapped your shoulder, so you knew it was there – a gesture you had done for him so many times in the past.
By the time the workday had ended, and you were getting ready to leave with Spencer, that familiar nervous buzz that typically settled in you around the end of a date had started brewing in your stomach. It was lucky you had just showered and shaved that morning – almost like you’d been expecting this. Or maybe manifesting it.
Spencer was a perfect gentleman from the moment you left the bullpen, he opened doors for you, helped you out of your coat when you got to his place, even gave you a glass of water before you even had to ask while you were settling in on his couch. And then he sat on the other end of the couch and glanced at you nervously every few seconds.
“Spence, we don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable,” You said, sitting with your legs crossed, facing him. “This won’t be any fun, or any use if you’re not comfortable.”
“I’m just a little – nervous,” He gave you a tiny smile. “I really want to do this, (y/n).”
“Okay,” You breathed. “I’m going to touch you now, tell me if you need to stop.”
Spencer’s eyes grew wide, and he let out a soft breath as he nodded, watching you crawl across the couch to straddle his hips as you settled into his lap. Your hands came up to rest on the side of his neck, your thumbs gently tracing his jaw. A little giggle worked out of your mouth when you glanced to either side and saw his hands lying limp on the couch.
“You can put your hands on my hips, Spencer,” You said, praising him when he did it. “There you go.” His cheeks turned pink at the praise and you thought, I’ll be remembering that for later. “Okay, so when you’re with Max, does she usually take the lead?”
“Yes,” He all but whispered.
“And that’s how you want this to go?” He nodded in response. “Use your words for me, baby boy.”
“Yes,” He squeaked, squeezing your hips when you used the term of endearment to let you know he liked it.
“Alright,” You grinned. “Let’s just take it step by step. You’re absolutely sure Max is alright with this?”
“Uh-huh,” Spencer nodded.
“Okay,” You breathed, this girl was really odd, but oh well. It was working out well for you for Spencer to date someone weird. How anyone could let Spencer go into another person’s hands when they had him to themselves was beyond you. If he was yours, you would keep that beautiful smile all to yourself.
Before you could convince yourself fully that this was a terrible idea, you leaned in to capture Spencer’s lips in a kiss. You caught his lips in a half-open half-closed state that made it very easy for you to simply deepen the kiss as soon as it started, but it also made it easy for you to lose yourself that much quicker in this kiss. The urge to moan into his mouth was so strong, but you didn’t want to scare him off, even as you were emboldened by the way his hands on your hips seemed to tighten their grip on you.
It should have been awkward – he had a girlfriend, and he was your best friend, not to mention the fact that you were head over heels for the man – and maybe with anyone else it would have been, but kissing Spencer felt so right. Like you were crazy for waiting this long to do it.
“You’re a good kisser, Spence,” You murmured against his lips, feeling the way he grinned against yours at the praise.
Slowly, so slowly you could have screamed, you shifted your hips over his, grinding onto the growing erection you felt in his pants. Spencer let out a tiny whimper and you knew you were a goner; the sound was so perfectly Spencer in the best way possible that it nearly killed you. And when his hands slowly worked up from your hips, inching your t-shirt up your torso, you were positive this had to be a dream.
When he successfully pulled your shirt up and over your head, he leaned back to look at you in only your bra, letting out a tiny, whispered, “Wow.” You let the compliment warm you from the inside out as your own fingers slid to the buttons on Spencer’s dress shirt, prying them open to bare him before you. He helped you to remove his shirt, shrugging out of the soft sleeves and blushing scarlet when you traced your fingertips over the planes of his chest. Every scar, every freckle, every beat of his heart. Without a second thought, you leaned down to press a sucking kiss the spot on his chest just above his heart, leaving a red mark that was sure to leave a dark purple hickey. Selfishly – and rather pettily – you thought of Maxine seeing the mark on him and knowing you were the one that broke him in.
“(Y/n),” He whispered breathlessly.
“Yes, baby boy?”
“C-can I – um – t-touch you?”
“Of course, you can, love,” You smiled softly, leaning in to press a tiny kiss to his lips. “Whichever way you want me, I’m yours.” He would never know just how much you meant the words.
“O-okay,” He swallowed nervously, giving you a little smile.
Gently, Spencer lifted you up off his lap and laid you on your back on the couch, propping himself up over you. Now it was your turn to swallow nervously as you looked up at him with curious eyes. He seemed to be confident in what he wanted, leaning into to press a searing kiss on your neck.
“Spencer,” You let out a tiny moan, which only made his confidence grow as he moved his kisses down your neck, over your collarbones, between your breasts.
A little gasp ripped out of you when he dragged his tongue around your nipples, and you wondered where in the hell he learned to do that.
“S-Spence, where did you –?”
“I did a little bit of research before tonight,” He smiled at you. “And the erogenous zones are incredibly important to stimulate to ensure your partner achieves maximum arousal.”
“Right,” You breathed as he kissed down your tummy, the scrape of his stubbly chin nearly making you whine and fantasize what it would be like on your cunt.
You knew Spencer, better than anyone else in the world most likely, and you knew when he said ‘a little bit of research’ he meant that he stayed up all night reading anything and everything he could about pleasure and pleasing your partner. And all you could do was thank God he was the way he was when he lifted your hips to shimmy you out of the pants you wore and left you in your little panties before him.
“Okay,” You said breathlessly, propping yourself up on your elbows. “So, this is as far as you Max got?”
“Yes,” Spencer said, his eyes trained on the wet spot in the crotch of your panties.
“Did your research cover this?” You smiled at him.
“A little,” He admitted. “Um – y-you’ll tell me if you need to stop?”
“Of course, baby,” You said. “I won’t need to, you’ve got this.”
He gave you a sweet smile at your encouragement as he settled between your thighs. You opened your mouth to ask if he was going to remember to take your underwear off, when he leaned in and pressed a hot kiss to your clit over your panties. The contact nearly made you jump out of your skin. After a moment, he hooked his fingers into the elastic of your panties, dragging them down your thighs and depositing them over the back of the couch. He draped your leg over his shoulder, turning his head to press little kisses along your thigh. As hot as it was, and as much as you were enjoying the moment, you had to hold back a giggle knowing that he had certainly read that in a book and wanted to try it on you.
“Oh,” He breathed. “You’re so wet.”
“That’s a good thing, Spence,” You giggled. “Means you’re doing your job right.”
Spencer grinned up at you quickly before leaning in and pressing a tentative kiss to your clit, making your hips jolt up again. At your movement and clear enjoyment, Spencer leaned in further, flattening his tongue to lick you from the bottom of your slit to your clit.
“Oh, fuck,” You moaned as his tongue swirled around your clit twice. “Spencer.”
“Is that right?”
“Very very right,” You panted, flopping onto your back. “Keep going.”
He followed your instruction and kept moving his tongue against you, licking you like an expert. The amount of research he must have done to know just what patterns to trace over your wet folds like he was casting a spell was staggering, sucking your clit into his mouth just drag his teeth over it and make you whimper. Your hand shot into his thick, brown curls, tugging at the roots of his hair as you panted and lifted your hips.
“Spence,” You breathed.
“Mhm?” He looked up at you, taking the tiniest break from his mind-numbing movements.
“Fingers,” You ground out. “Use them.”
“Oh,” He nodded, licking his lips. “Right.”
“Fuck!” You shouted, hips bucking up against Spencer’s mouth as he went back to eating your cunt like he was starving, right at the same time as he slid two fingers into your weeping hole.
Whimpers and whines left your mouth at an alarming rate at the feeling of Spencer fucking you with his long fingers.
“I think…” He trailed off, curling his fingers up inside you and making you yelp when he caressed your g-spot. “Right there.”
The little bastard had a smirk on his face when you creaked your eyes open again and looked at him, kissing your clit gently before going back to attacking your cunt with his lips. You were positive this was going to kill you, death by orgasm at Spencer Reid’s hands. Not a bad way to go.
You were right earlier, the scrape of his stubble that littered his chin against your pussy was so fucking incredible you could scream. Spencer groaned into your pussy as you tugged at his hair, begging him through sobs to keep going as you neared that familiar peak. It was when he added a third finger right as he sucked your clit into his mouth again that your pussy clenched down around his fingers and your breath left your lungs in a shout as you came.
“Spencer!”
Earth-shattering was about the only way you could describe this orgasm – Earth-shattering and one of the best you had ever had. All at the hands of Dr. Spencer Reid.
“Spence,” You whimpered breathlessly as he kissed your clit sweetly, then your thighs, back up to kiss your lips.
“Did I do good?” He asked, his eyes wide with approval-seeking earnest.
“Good?” You laughed, placing a hand on his cheek. “Baby boy, it doesn’t get much better than that. You had nothing to worry about, stud, Max is a lucky lady.”
Spencer bit his lip with a grin as you gently pushed his chest back so you could sit up. His eyebrows drew together in confusion as you started searching for your underwear, the mention of Max had made your heart pound with guilt.
“Where are you –?”
“Well, we finished – I mean, I finished,” You chuckled. “Lesson’s over.”
“Oh.” He looked sad at your words.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, I just – I –” His gaze dropped to his lap, where he was sporting a rather large erection tent in his pants.
“Oh,” You said, a smirk starting to curl on your lips as hope blossomed in your chest. “I see.”
Spencer turned bright red as you crawled towards him once more, his hands immediately coming up to rest on your hips when you settled into his lap again.
“Is my baby boy sad that he didn’t get to cum?” You cooed, trying not to feel sad that he really wasn’t your baby boy.
“Yes,” Spencer whispered, desperately using his grip on your hips to grind you over his crotch as you had earlier. “Wanna cum.”
“I know, sweet boy,” You caressed his cheek. “How do you want to cum? You get to pick.”
“C-can you ride me?” He asked sweetly.
“Spencer,” You said, your eyes growing wide. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait? F-for Max? I mean, y-you’re a virgin, and –”
“I don’t want to wait,” He whispered, pulling you in for another kiss. “I can’t wait. I want you.” God help you, all it took was those three words and you were putty in his hands.
Kissing Spencer deeply, you dropped your hands to his lap, your fingers working quickly to undo the button of his pants. Spencer whined in your mouth as you palmed him through his pants lightly, making a shiver roll down your spine.
“Lift your hips,” You urged.
Spencer followed your instructions, lifting his hips up and tugging his pants and his boxers down to his ankles. His cock – his cock that was much bigger than you had been expecting – sprang free of the material of his bottoms.
“Look at you,” You said quietly with a soft smile. “So big and hard for me.”
“Please,” He whined as you rocked forward and dragged the head of his cock through your folds. “(Y/n), please.”
“Needy boy,” You grinned, settling him at your entrance. “Look in my eyes and tell me you really want to do this, I need you to tell me.”
“I want this,” He said, giving you those great big eyes, a happy smile on his face. “Really really want this.”
“I want this too, Spence,” You whispered, leaning in for a kiss as you sank down on the length of his cock.
Spencer gasped into your mouth as your cunt enveloped him completely, pulling him into you and keeping him tight inside you. His hands flexed on your hips, his head falling back in pleasure, eyes rolling back into his head as he let out the most heart-stopping moan you had ever heard. Your thighs worked double-time to lift you off and back down onto Spencer’s cock.
“(Y/n),” He breathed tightly, his hands coming up to your cheeks to pull you into a kiss.
“Fuck, Spence,” You moaned as you bounced on his dick. “Oh, so good, baby.”
“I’m so – so close,” He whined. “I can’t –”
“Okay,” You panted, dropping a hand to rub tight circles on your clit, feeling your already sensitive cunt start to clench around Spencer’s dick, knowing that it would bring him that much closer to cumming. “Cum for me, baby, please I want you to cum.”
“Oh!” Spencer groaned, squeezing your hips tightly as he shot his cum into you. “(Y/n).”
The feeling of him spraying your insides with his cum made you fall over that edge once more with a shout of his name. Spencer moaned as your cunt clenched around his cock tightly, letting his forehead fall against your shoulder as he shuddered out the remnants of his release. Your breath panted out of you as you came down from your respective climaxes, shifting your hips to peel yourself off his lap and run to the bathroom. Spencer didn’t let you move, his hands kept you on top of him.
“Spencer,” You whispered, turning your head to kiss his temple. “I need to get up.”
“I don’t want you to go,” He whispered.
“I’m just running to the bathroom, you goof,” You laughed quietly, scratching your hand through his shaggy hair. “I’ll be right back, baby.”
“Okay,” He nodded as you used his shoulders as leverage to push yourself off of his lap.
As you ran to the bathroom off the kitchen, Spencer’s cum dripping down your inner thigh, you grinned over your shoulder at the lanky man as he flopped down on his back on the couch. He watched you with that sweet silly Spencer grin as you shuffled into the bathroom and closed the door behind yourself.
All this time you had told yourself that you didn’t love him because you didn’t know him intimately enough, but you knew now that you had just been lying to yourself. You had loved Spencer for a lot longer than you knew, a lot longer than you had allowed yourself to feel. And god was it good to feel it now, to know that you loved Spencer Reid.
Cleaning yourself up, you found one of Spencer’s t-shirts that you had seen him wearing while sharing a hotel room on a case a few months back. You couldn’t fight the smile on your face as you slipped it over your head and cuddled up into the soft cotton that smelled so like Spencer, that it was such a comfort to you. Distantly, back in the living room, you could hear the low murmur of Spencer’s voice and you wondered if Emily was calling with a case. You hoped not, you were looking forward to just hanging out with Spence.
Creeping out of the bathroom, you hunted around behind the couch for your undies, slipping them on as Spencer spoke into the phone. He’d put his boxers back on while you were gone and sat up on the couch.
“I’m home now, just hanging out,” Spencer said. “I’ll let you get back to what you were working on, talk to you later, Max.”
Your heart dropped to the floor when you realized that he was talking to his girlfriend. Of course, he was talking to his girlfriend, that had been the whole point of this, right? For him to be better for her? You were a fool to think that he had felt the same way you were feeling while you slept together, like it was right, and like you never wanted to stop. As quickly and as quietly as you could while Spencer was saying goodbye to Max, you gathered your clothes, slipping back into your pants and grabbing your bag from the front door.
“Oh, you’re heading out?” Spencer asked as you got to the door. “I thought we could - I don’t know - like hang out.”
“I should get going,” You said, avoiding his eyes.
“Is that my shirt?” He asked with a grin.
“Oh, yeah, I – uh – I’ll get it back to you as soon as I can.”
“Don’t worry about it,” He said, his voice sounding concerned. “(Y/n), is everything –”
“Everything’s fine,” You plastered a smile on your face. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Right, I’ll see you –” You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence when you shut the door behind yourself and raced down to your car.
The rest of the night was miserable; you spent the night in bed with a bottle of wine and bad romcoms playing on your TV, avoiding the few calls that Spencer sent your way – even as you cuddled up in bed in his shirt. All you wanted to play the memories of Spencer moaning your name all night long, but now all you could think about was the sweet smile on his face – the one you had thought was yours and yours alone – while he talked to Maxine.
The next morning, Emily was a little suspicious when you called in for work, but she let you off the hook with a little “feel better, sweets.” You were grateful to her for not pushing you when you gave her a very thinly veiled, “I don’t feel good.” You couldn’t walk into that office and the man you loved, knowing that he was going to take everything you taught him and use it to make some other girl happy while you were moping around your house in the shirt that you’d stolen from him.
For a week, you existed in a much more reserved version of yourself, keeping to yourself at work and going to others when you had questions instead of going to Spencer like you normally would have. The rest of your friends were confused why you were being so quiet and so down – and why you and Spencer weren’t acting like you normally did together. It was a Saturday when you got the call from Emily that you were going on a case – going straight to the plane to fly out and not meeting in the roundtable room. And to say you had quite the ball of anxiety in your stomach as you trudged onto the plane with your go-bag was a bit of an understatement. Spencer tried to catch your eyes as you slipped into the seat next to Luke, giving your friend a tight smile, and turning your eyes straight down to the case file in your lap.
Emily, clearly aware of the tension between you and Spencer, partnered you up with him to go to the coroners. If he didn’t think you were being distant from him before, he certainly did now, every time you spoke directly to him you used his last name. And every time you did over the next few days of this case, his eyebrows would knit together in confusion or frustration.
This case was a doozy, and while you normally would be frustrated with a complicated and time-consuming case, you were grateful for the opportunity to focus on something that wasn’t Spencer. At least, until a knock sounded on your hotel room door, and Spencer was standing on the other side of it when you swung it open – you were suddenly very aware of the fact that you were wearing his pajama shirt again. You couldn’t seem to give it away.
“Reid,” You said quietly. “Hey.”
“Hi,” He said nervously. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” You said, stepping back to allow him into the room.
After you shut the door behind him, silence fell between you, the air thick and charged with tension as Spencer paced the floor in front of you.
“It’s late, Reid –”
“Stop calling me that!” He exploded, taking you aback.
“What do you want me to call you then?” You snapped. “What am I supposed to call you?”
Spencer was silent, staring at you with heat in his eyes as you raised your eyebrow in question. He looked as though he were having a war with himself before he spoke in a voice so quiet you almost thought you’d misheard him.
“Baby boy,” He said, making his way over to you in three steps, taking your head in your hands and pulling you in for a long kiss.
“Spencer,” You breathed, breaking the kiss to look up at him. “What about Max?”
“I broke up with her.”
“Y-you did what?” You asked. “Why?”
“I want you,” He practically whispered. “I only want you.”
“You’re only saying that because we slept together,” You said, despite the all-out hope blossoming in your chest that he might actually want you. “I took your virginity and you convinced yourself that means you want me.”
“No,” Spencer shook his head. “I’ve wanted you – I’ve loved you – for a lot longer than I realized.”
“What?” Your voice was tiny.
“When I got out of prison, the only reason I was able to cope and to keep moving forward with my life was that you were there for me,” He said, stroking his thumbs over your cheeks. “I didn’t realize the love I was feeling for you was more than just friendship until I started doing romantic things with Max, and I realized that I didn’t want to be doing them with her. I wanted to be doing them with you because I’m in love with you.”
“Me,” You repeated. “Your dorky best friend that sits across from you every day and throws post-its at you when I want your attention?”
“The very same,” He smiled down at you, leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose. “There’s no one else in the world that I would let throw post-it notes at me.”
“I’m the only one that gets to do that, baby boy?” Spencer’s cheeks turned bright pink as he nodded at you. “Then I must be the luckiest girl in the world.”
Spencer pulled you in for another kiss, those three words being repeated with every movement and every kiss. You were desperate to say the words back to him, even if it meant breaking this amazing, wonderful kiss with the man you loved to tell him you loved him.
“Spence,” You murmured against his lips.
“Yeah,” He whispered.
“I love you,” You whispered back. “I am so in love with you.”
He gave you the widest, most purely Spencer Reid grin before he leaned in and kissed you again. Every part of you tingled – with love, with happiness, with excitement – and you couldn’t believe this was real. You had Spencer in your arms again, but this time he was yours. Finally, all yours.