Chapter Text
Dejun wipes some beads of sweat running down his temples, then he looks at the alarm clock on his bedside table.
2:55 PM.
He lets out a long groan.
The ceiling fan in his room is already set to the highest speed, all windows are already opened, but he still feels the heat blanketing his skin and sweat running down his body. And he still feels bored to the bones.
He feels especially bored, yes.
At this kind of moment, Dejun usually starts regretting his decision for not joining any clubs or extracurricular activities. Unfortunately, it is already too late for him to join one because the semester is already halfway through.
He reckons that he doesn’t even know what extracurricular activity he could do or what club he could join, anyway.
He looks at his clock on his bedside table again. It’s now 2:57 PM.
Time flies really, really slowly when you’re alone and bored, indeed.
And he still has an hour left to spend on his own before his housemates come back. That is if his housemates decide to go back home right after finishing their own respective activities.
What are they up to anyway? He curiously asks himself as he finally leaves the comfort of his room and walks to the kitchen to check the daily schedules that he and his housemates put on the fridge.
Lucas: 2 - 4 PM - Swimming club.
Hendery: 2 - 3 PM Uni radio broadcast; 3 - 4 PM Group discussion at the library.
This time around, Dejun is regretting why he decided to go back home instead of spending his spare time (and bothering Hendery) at the library. At least there, it is air-conditioned.
Dejun takes a step back and gets a good look at the three daily schedules lined up on their fridge door. He really can see the difference between Lucas’ and Hendery’s almost-fully-color-blocked schedules and almost-empty schedule of his, almost empty except for his mandatory classes this semester.
And no, it is totally not because he is majoring in Classical Music, meanwhile Lucas and Hendery are majoring in Sports Science and Business & Marketing, respectively. In fact, Dejun’s fellow music majors are known for being the most active ones when it comes to club activities. Some of them are even able to conduct joint activities with other universities and gain extra points in their resume.
It’s… just Dejun. Really.
Dejun’s inner reverie is suddenly interrupted by a loud ring of their house phone.
He frowns.
Don’t Lucas’ or Hendery’s friends know about their schedules? Why are they calling at this hour?
Dejun is very sure that the caller is definitely not looking for him because:
- His friends and batchmates rarely call him because they prefer dropping by his house or informing him whatever they need to inform him before they finish their classes for the day;
- And his parents are the only ones who would call and check on him, but both of them are still at work at this hour.
Dejun only shrugs and he finally answers the call.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hello! Wow, you sound young! May I know your name?”
Dejun frowns even more. “Uhm, since you’re the one who’s calling, am I not supposed to be the one who’s asking the question?”
The other person laughs heartily. “Ah, you’re right! My bad! Okay, you can call me Yangyang. And you are?”
Dejun stays quiet, contemplating whether he wants to give out his real name or not. His mom just warned him a few months ago about some people who are able to do black magic and they only need to know their target’s name to do so. That information alone successfully makes him think twice before giving out his real name to strangers nowadays, and this time is not an exception.
“Hello? Are you still there? Yes, I know my name sounds kind of funny but trust me, it is very easy for people to remember and-”
“Xiaojun.” Dejun finally answers. “You can call me Xiaojun. Sorry for the delay, I was… a bit distracted just now.”
“Oh! Are you currently busy? I hope I am not disturbing you!”
“No, I am not busy, don’t worry. But I think you haven’t told me yet with whom you want to speak… right? Or did I miss that out?”
“No, no, you didn’t miss anything out! Actually… I am not looking for anyone in particular right now.”
Dejun frowns again. “Huh?”
Yangyang chuckles. “This might sound really stupid though. Promise me you won’t laugh?”
Dejun knows he is still going to laugh though. “Okay, I promise.”
“So… I was really bored, you see. And I am also alone at home…” Yangyang stopped for a little while. “So I decided to call any phone number that has a difference of one digit from mine.”
Dejun lets out a small snort.
“Hey!” Yangyang scolds cutely. “You promised not to laugh!”
“I didn’t! It wasn’t a laugh!” Dejun defends himself, although anyone could definitely hear a little laugh in between what he was saying.
“In my defense!” Yangyang exclaims. “In my defense, I was really, really bored, and I have finished doing all of my assignments, and I even already read the copy for tomorrow’s lecture.”
“Tomorrow’s lecture?” Dejun’s eyes widened. “Wow, you really are bored.”
“Exactly!” Yangyang scoffs. “So I started calling random numbers, and you are the third person who answered my call. The other four numbers didn’t answer, though.”
“So, what happened to the first and second numbers who answered?” Dejun asks amusedly.
“The first one was a mother, I think? Because I heard the sound of a crying baby in the background. A very busy mother as well, I guess, because she even reprimanded me and asked me to go and have better things to do.” Yangyang laughs.
“Well, she is not wrong though.” Dejun says playfully.
“Hey!” Yangyang scoffs again. “The second one was a grandma. I had to shout a few times because she couldn’t hear me clearly, and by the time I ended the call, I had already decided not to call her again because I might get a sore throat from shouting too many times.”
Now it’s Dejun’s turn to laugh. “So you must be thankful that the third person happened to be me, right? People say the third time’s a charm, anyway.”
Yangyang snorts. “Didn’t expect that the third person happened to be so full of himself though.”
Dejun laughs again. He decides that he already likes this guy.
“So how did you manage to call my number here? Which digit out of your phone number did you change?” Dejun asks curiously.
“I am not telling you~” Yangyang singsongs brightly. “You try changing one digit each by yourself. And who knows, maybe you can get yourself a grandma or a busy mother to reprimand you as well.”
Dejun laughs lightly. “No thanks, then. Getting one talkative guy that has nothing better to do than call me is devastating enough for me.”
“You!” Yangyang reprimands. “Just wait and see. I’ll call you again tomorrow, same time. If you dare not answer my call, I’ll keep on calling until you get sick of listening to your phone ringing. This talkative guy won’t let you go that easily!”
And with that, Dejun finds it hard not to smile. “Oh well, I’d like to see you try!”
_____
“Do you know that a chef’s hat has one hundred folds?”
Dejun stops chewing his chips. “One hundred? How did you know? Do you really have that much free time that you have all the time to count the folds?”
“Excuse me??” Yangyang laughs. “I got it from the encyclopedia, you buffoon.”
“Wow, how diligent. The last time I read an encyclopedia was during elementary school, I think.” Dejun remarks.
“Shut up. It is interesting. And you know what? The reason behind the one hundred folds is even more interesting.”
“Oh really? And what is that?”
Dejun could hear a little snicker in Yangyang’s voice before he answered “It represents a hundred ways to cook an egg.”
Dejun gapes, a few pieces of unchewed chips fall out of his mouth.
“Wait. There are a hundred ways to cook an egg??”
“Beats me. I know nothing about cooking.”
“Hold on, now I am curious. I know steaming, boiling, frying… what else?”
“Maybe frying an egg is counted as one way, then frying two eggs is counted as another way?”
“...Yangyang, please.”
“I am serious! Or maybe when it is mixed in cake batter, it is counted as one way to cook the egg? Who knows?”
“And a chef is supposed to know them all?”
“...well, I guess so? Or else, why is it there on a chef’s hat?”
“Wow, I don’t think I am going to be a chef, really. Just imagining one hundred eggs in front of me is enough to make me shudder already.”
“Same here, Jun. Same here.”
_____
“Hey, do you like wine?”
“Hello to you too, Yangyang. Such a great afternoon that I have here. What about yours?”
“Shut up!” Yangyang laughs. “We live in the same city, Jun. My afternoon is the same as yours. It is way too hot and it’s annoying me.”
Dejun smirks. “And calling me makes you feel much better, right?”
Yangyang snorts. “You wish!”
“So,” Dejun sits on the sofa near the phone. “What is it about wine? Are you going to buy me some?”
“No. Again, you wish.” Yangyang scoffs lightly. “But still, do you like wine?”
“And why does it matter to you if you’re not going to buy me a bottle anyway?”
“Xiaojun, please.” Yangyang whines.
“Okay, okay.” Dejun chuckles. “Yes, I do. I mean, who doesn’t? If only it is not that expensive, though.”
“Exactly. So, guess how many grapes are used to produce a bottle of wine?”
Dejun hums.
“My mom usually uses like 20-30 grapes to make juice for our family, and they yield around 4 small glasses… so since we are talking about one whole bottle of wine, then probably around eighty… or a hundred grapes?”
“Nope!” Yangyang exclaims cheerily. “A bottle of wine is usually made out of approximately 700 grapes. If small grapes are used, it might even need around 800 grapes.”
“Woah,” Dejun gapes. “That’s… that’s a lot of grapes. No wonder wines are so expensive.”
“And it is only the tip of the iceberg. You know that you need to ferment them to get wine, right?”
“Oh yeah, you’re right. That shit takes years to make.”
“Yuuup. That’s why when I knew that there might be around 50-60 grapes in my flute of wine, I started sipping it really slowly, especially when it is an expensive one.”
“Wow, you got me there. I usually finish my flute of wine in, like, one gulp.”
“I knew it! My friends do that too!” Yangyang chortles. “But seriously, sipping it actually makes it taste waaaaaay better, trust me. Even the cheap ones.”
Dejun suddenly thinks about that one small bottle of wine that he and his housemates bought earlier this year to celebrate them moving to the house they currently live in, then he hums. “Yeah, thanks Yang. I suddenly remembered that one bottle that my housemates and I still keep for special occasions, and I think I will luxuriously sip it instead of, you know, drinking it in one gulpthe next time we open it.”
“Ohhh, yes! Especially during special occasions! Trust me, it will taste even better!” Yangyang says brightly.
Dejun smiles softly. “I will let you know once I try it. I promise.”
_____
“You know otters, right?”
“...huh? Wait, wait for a sec.” Dejun stands up to untangle the phone cord and stretch it, then he sits back down again comfortably on the sofa. One of these days, I am so going to ask Hendery and Lucas if they’re interested in changing the phone to a cordless one, really. “Sorry, I needed to untangle the cord just now so that it can reach the sofa. What was it again?”
“Ah, I understand your troubles. That’s why I even bought a small stool so that I can comfortably sit next to my phone table," Yangyang chuckles. "Oh, and just now I asked you whether you know otters.”
“Of course I know!” Dejun answers defensively. “I know I said that the last time I read an encyclopedia was during elementary school, but at least I still remember what an otter looks like!”
Yangyang laughs at Xiaojun’s defensiveness. “Okay chill Jun, chill,” Yangyang says. “Good to know that you still remember what an otter looks like, because I want to discuss about baby otters today.”
“Oh?” Dejun’s curiosity is piqued. “Baby otters are cute!”
“I know right???” Yangyang sighs dreamily. “But do you know that they cannot actually swim until they become adults?”
“What?” Dejun straightens up from his sitting position. “But they live in the sea! How are they supposed to live if they cannot swim??”
“They cannot swim, but luckily they can still float,” Yangyang continues. “Baby otters will usually hold onto their mothers so that they don’t, you know, float away or something.”
“Awwww,” Dejun cannot help but coo. “Poor babies.”
“But, don’t you think it’s cute though?” Yangyang asks. “They hold onto their mommies until they’re old enough to live on their own. They stay close to their mothers throughout their childhood, so their bond most probably will be very strong too, right? Since they’re like, you know, attached to the hip all the time?”
“Oh,” Dejun realizes. “Yeah, you’re right though. If you look at it that way, that’s really cute of them. Does the daddy otter stick with them as well, though?”
“Yeah, as well as the baby’s siblings. They usually stick to the baby and take care of the baby together.”
“Wow, that’s,” Dejun sighs, “Damn cute.”
“So,” Dejun can hear the smirk in Yangyang’s voice. “Do you want to be an otter then build a family with me?”
Dejun can only gape.
_____
“Xiaojun.”
“Hm?”
“Tell me the truth.”
“...huh?” Dejun frowns. “What truth do I need to tell you?”
“Your voice sounds different today,” Yangyang says. “And you sound… off, like something is bugging your mind. So, what is it?”
Hm.
Quite an observer, I see.
“What if I am just having a cold?”
“A cold? Bullshit,” Yangyang laughs. “I definitely know how someone with a cold sounds like, I am not five.”
Dejun lightly chuckles.
“Of course it is okay if you don’t want to tell me,” Yangyang says softly. “But just in case you need someone to talk to, someone who is not judgemental and is a good listener, then I might be your best choice at the moment.”
That makes Dejun cackle. Yangyang definitely has the power to make him feel better with just one sentence.
“Good marketing, I see. Any more benefits that I can get from telling all of my problems to you? Free membership, perhaps?”
“Free membership to what? All of my wise advice? There is no need for membership— you can get them all for free!”
Dejun chuckles again.
“Well, on a serious note though, sometimes it feels better to tell a stranger than telling someone you really know or you see on the daily.”
Dejun hums. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“Again, it is up to you! No pressure!” Yangyang exclaims. “Or if you want me to end the call now because you want to rest, it is okay as well! I don’t want you to feel… you know, pressured or anything like that just because I am the one calling you instead of the other way around.”
“No, no!” Dejun quickly exclaims. “Honestly… talking to you makes me feel a lot better.”
“Awwww, should I feel honored? Oh my god I am so touched, are those tears running down my face?”
Dejun cackles again.
“Yangyang.”
“Yeah?”
“Promise me that you won’t laugh or anything?”
“I told you I am probably the most non-judgemental person you know in your life, Jun, so go ahead. Tell me. You can even tell me that you’re actually an alien and I won’t call you crazy or delusional or anything.”
“....really? Because… I really am.”
There were three seconds of silence.
“Really?” Yangyang whispers.
Dejun snorts. “You really believe that, huh?”
“You!” Yangyang shouts. “I was about to ask you questions about extraterrestrial life and all that and I even thought that you were cool for a second!”
“Awww, I was supposed to stay in character for a few more minutes, wasn’t I?”
“I hate you.” Yangyang scoffs. “So what is this thing that makes you think that will make me laugh at you?”
Dejun sighs. “It’s not a big deal, really… it’s just that my TA just checked the composition that I made for this huge assignment. He is usually the one who does the check-ins before we finally submit our assignment to the professor at the end of the semester…”
Yangyang hums, signaling that he’s listening.
“The thing is, he said that the composition that I made was lacking in… soul.”
Dejun swears he can hear the frown in Yangyang’s voice. “Lacking in soul? What does that mean?”
“That’s what I asked him too, then he explained that my composition sounds like someone just threw in different instruments, played it in a cool way, made it sound good, then that’s it. It’s lacking in story, lacking in feeling.”
“Aaah, I think I understand.” Yangyang says. “It’s like, it doesn’t matter if you only have a piano in it, but as long as it is telling a story, and if it makes someone… feel something, then it becomes a good composition? Something like that?”
“Yes!” Dejun exclaims. “Exactly! That’s what he said as well!”
Yangyang hums again. “And let me guess, you have no idea what kind of feeling to portray, what kind of story to tell, and how to get some inspiration for it?”
Dejun gasps dramatically. “Wow Yang, are you secretly a mind reader or something?”
“Oh yes, of course. I also know that you think that I am handsome right now.”
“......Yangyang, in case you forget, I don’t even know what you look like.”
“Exactly.” Yangyang chuckles.
“Hmmmm, well, honestly I don’t really know how to get some inspiration to write a composition and all that stuff, but I like writing, be it lyrics, poems, or stories, and maybe this might help you?”
“Oh?” Dejun is taken aback because of both the fact that Yangyang genuinely wants to help him out and the fact that oh gosh this guy writes??? “Whatever suggestion is welcome right now, I am at my most desperate since this is a huge assignment.”
Yangyang hums. “Okay, so close your eyes.”
Dejun frowns. “Huh?”
“Trust me. Close your eyes.”
Dejun knows Yangyang can’t actually see him right now, but he still does what Yangyang told him.
“Alright, so imagine things that can make you happy. It can be someone, it can be something, it can be a place, it can be combinations of them even, it can be anything! Imagine other things and events surrounding it. Maybe it is at the park? During summer? There are happy kids around you? An ice cream truck nearby? Or maybe you like it somewhere calm? Near a flowing river, with birds chirping and the sun shining just right, not too hot and not too dark either?”
Dejun hums. He slowly can form a scene and a scenario in his head.
“Now, what do you think will be the right kind of music that accompanies it? What kind of instrument will work? How will the tempo be? Will the listener be able to feel the happiness too? Will they get your message? How do you think you can make them feel the happiness too? Maybe change the tempo a little bit? Choose another instrument?”
It is quiet for a few seconds between them, just the sound of their breaths filling the line.
“So… yeah, hopefully it helps?” Yangyang finally breaks the silence between them.
Dejun finally opens his eyes. “Whoah, Yangyang… it actually… helps a lot???”
Yangyang scoffs proudly. “Of course it helps. You were just graced and embraced by the awesomeness of The Great Yangyang.”
Dejun chuckles.
“Yangyang?”
“Hm?”
“Thank you, really. I am feeling much better now.”
Dejun can even hear the smile in Yangyang’s words. “Anytime, Xiaojun!”
(When I closed my eyes, I actually thought of you.)
_____
“I miss your random facts.”
“....huh?”
“Tell me more random facts. You usually have those interesting random facts.”
“What do you think I am? A walking encyclopedia?”
“Yangyang!” Dejun whines.
Yangyang cackles. “Okay, okay. I have more random facts about sea creatures because I have been reading about them lately.”
“Where did you get all of these books? Did you buy them?”
“Yes, for some, then I borrowed the rest from the library. The library actually has a lot of interesting books if you don’t tend to stick in your section and sit there to do assignments.”
That’s a good idea , Dejun thinks. I might do it the next time I go to the library.
“Okay, so, what interesting facts do you have for me today?”
“Oh!” Yangyang sounds excited. “Guess how many eggs octopuses lay at a time?”
“Wait,” Dejun frowns. “Octopuses lay eggs? Don’t they give birth to baby octopuses? What do the eggs look like?”
“The eggs are sooooo small! One egg is the size of… a grain of rice? They are very small! They almost look like fish roe… have you ever seen any fish roe?”
“Yes, I think I have… my mom found some in the fish that we cooked last time.”
“Yeah, it looks like fish roe, but instead of having a completely round shape, the shape of an octopus egg is like… almost oval-ish? The size is the same as that of fish roe though!”
“Hmmm, then it must be really small… let me guess, around two thousand eggs at a time?”
“Nope!” Yangyang exclaims cheerily. “It is actually 56,000 eggs. At a time.”
Dejun’s eyes are now as big as saucers. “Fifty. Six. Thousand. Eggs??? Which means an octopus will have fifty six thousand baby octopuses at the end???”
“Well, supposedly. But sadly, out of those thousands of eggs, usually only a few survive because they are born as big as a plankton and… well, you know what happens to planktons.”
Dejun hums dejectedly.
“But quite a number still survive and grow into huge octopuses though! So don’t worry!”
Dejun lets out a quiet laugh.
Yangyang’s optimism and cheerfulness have somehow become something that he needs to get through the day, way before he even realized it.
_____
“Xiaojun,” Yangyang whispers. “You know blue whales, right?”
“Yangyang,” Dejun whispers back. “Why are you whispering?”
“Wait, why are you whispering too?”
“Because you’re whispering!”
Yangyang chuckles lightly. “My grandma is here for the weekend. She was watching TV a few minutes ago, but now she is sleeping on the sofa, so I don’t want to disturb her.”
“Awww, such a good grandson.”
Yangyang scoffs. “Of course, I really am.”
Dejun rolls his eyes and smiles fondly. So typical of Yangyang.
“Hey,” Dejun whispers again. “It actually feels good talking like this.”
“Right?” Yangyang chuckles lightly. “My voice sounds better like this, I think.”
Dejun chuckles as well. “So, what is it about blue whales? And to answer your question, yes I know blue whales but I don’t know anything besides the fact that they’re huge.”
“I know right?” Yangyang whispers excitedly. “They are so, so huge. And interestingly, because they're, again, so huge, you can even hear their heartbeats from two miles away.”
Dejun’s eyes bulge. “Two miles???”
Yangyang hums excitedly.
“Wow… guess you don’t even need to use any ECG or USG on whales, right?”
Yangyang giggles.
Oh god he giggles.
Both of them are quiet for a moment before Yangyang finally says softly, “Xiaojun.”
“Yes, Yangyang?”
“I wish you could hear how my heart beats for you.”
_____
“I am here with one new fact about alphabets!” was the very first thing Yangyang said when Dejun answered the call.
“Oh, really?” Dejun can’t help but smile. “And what is that?”
“If you read numbers in English, there is no letter A until you reach one thousand.”
“Hold on…. Really? Wait, wait… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten… then anything with ‘teen’... twenty… thirty… forty… hundred… thousand… oh gosh, you’re right.”
“Xiaojun,” Yangyang deadpans. “I almost put down the phone if you really want to read the numbers from one until one thousand.”
“But I really didn’t expect that! I thought there must be an A in between one to ten… apparently not.”
“Well, to make you feel better, I also didn’t expect that either.”
They both laugh at that.
“Xiaojun!”
“Hm?”
“Guess my favorite letter!”
Dejun hums for a little while.
“Y? Because it is part of your name?”
“Nope! Not even close to Y!”
Dejun frowns. “Then what?”
“U!”
Then Yangyang abruptly ends their call.
Dejun only realizes what Yangyang means fifteen minutes later.
_____
A well-known fact: Dejun is not stupid. He clearly knows and understands very well that Yangyang is flirting with him.
But he still doesn’t know if Yangyang is just naturally flirty with everyone, or he only does the flirting with him.
Another well-known fact (at least to Dejun himself): Dejun is falling for Yangyang, slowly but surely.
But he doesn’t want to take the risk and he also doesn’t want to be in an unrequited love kind of situation.
That shit hurts like hell.
Another problem is that he doesn’t know anything about Yangyang besides his name, and that is if he really gave Dejun his real name. How on earth did he fall for someone whom he doesn’t know? He doesn’t even know what Yangyang looks like? How can he find someone whom he could ask when he wants to know more about Yangyang? Or if he wants to know that Yangyang’s feelings for him are real?
“Dejun? Dejun!”
Dejun jumps.
“Bro, I have been calling you for a minute! Are you alright there?” Lucas asks.
“O-oh, sorry Lucas, I was… spacing out a bit. Yeah. No big deal.” Dejun explains awkwardly.
“Jun, this is not the first time this week.” Hendery adds from the kitchen. “You’ve been spacing out a lot . Are you really okay? Are your parents alright? What’s been bugging you? You know you can tell me or Lucas, right? It’s not like we’ve only been friends for a day or two.”
Dejun genuinely smiles. At least he’s happy that he’s surrounded by such caring housemates (and best friends) like Lucas and Hendery.
“I am okay, really. Thanks for the concern, guys.” Dejun says softly.
“Well, my friend is hosting a party at his house tonight. Do you maybe want to join me? Just in case you need some help to unwind?” Lucas offers.
“Huh? Which friend of yours? Is it Jackson?” Hendery finally appears from the kitchen and sits down on their sofa with a bowl of chips.
“Yes! Are you invited too?” Lucas’ eyes gleam excitedly.
“Yeah, I got the invitation as well. Dejun, do you want to go? You can be either my or Lucas’ plus one! All of us will go together anyway.”
Dejun contemplates for a while. He hasn’t gone to any parties for like… a year? He usually declines every time his housemates invite him to go to parties with them because he’s simply not interested. He prefers to stay at home, reading, watching television or playing some music in his room.
But thoughts about Yangyang have been invading his mind too much lately, and Lucas is probably right. He might need to unwind and, well, who knows this is maybe what he needs?
“As long as you guys promise not to ditch me all night?” Dejun finally says.
Hendery and Lucas wear a matching grin on their faces. “Promise!”
_____
One more well-known fact: Jackson is bloody rich.
What he calls a house is actually a mansion, and to say that it is huge is such an understatement. The booze is free-flowing (Kun, one of their seniors from Culinary Arts, is having the time of his life mixing all kinds of cocktails in Jackson’s kitchen, and everybody seems to love whatever concoction he makes), the food and tidbits are unlimited, the games are endless, and it looks like everyone, literally everyone, from their university is here in his house.
“Do you guys want to go straight to the food or do you want to say hi to anyone first?” Lucas shouts over the loud music.
“What if we go straight to the food and drinks, then say hi to anyone that we probably know there? Jackson usually has those nice canapes, I don’t want to miss them out!” Hendery answers just as loudly.
“Good strategy. Dejun, are you okay with it?” Lucas asks. Dejun only nods.
Hendery was right.
There is no such thing as bad snacks when it comes to Jackson Wang’s snack table.
Dejun looks at the spread and his mouth can’t help but water at the marvelous sight. The snack table takes one whole side of his enormous dining room, and everyone literally can find whatever bite-sized snacks that they want. Dejun also loves how the snacks are divided into savory and sweet, with savory snacks covering half of the table and sweet snacks covering the other half.
“I know you are internally drooling right now, but you have to play your game right. Save some space for the booze in your tummy.” Lucas whispers from Dejun’s right.
“Lucas is right. I know your taste, so I suggest you the egg canapes, the mini strawberry pancakes, and mini french toast. The french toast is filled with peanut butter and jam so I am sure you’re gonna love these. You can try the rest later once you’re done with Kun ge’s mixes. Those are the stars of Jackson’s parties.” Hendery adds from Dejun’s left.
Dejun nods (Hendery and Lucas are Jackson’s parties’ regular attendees, after all), then he walks towards the pile of french toast, his plate and fork ready in hand.
He is about to take the second bite of the toast (Hendery was right, the french toast is heavenly) when he suddenly hears a melodic laugh from the other end of the snack table.
A laugh that he is very, very familiar with.
Dejun’s body is rooted on the spot, but his heartbeat suddenly increases. His mind is running wild, contemplating whether he should turn to his left and (finally) see whom the laugh belongs to, or to turn to his right and stay where he is.
His mind finally decides to turn to his left.
He slowly turns his head to the left, and holy shit.
Honestly, he didn’t expect to see such a beautiful man, with an equally wide smile that literally makes him want to smile too, because it is just that contagious.
So I have been talking to a man this beautiful for the past month?
“Ooooh, I see that you finally got your eyes on someone huh, Jun?” Lucas suddenly appears at the right moment.
“....h-huh?” Dejun asks dumbfoundedly.
Lucas points at the beautiful man, the man that’s been bugging Dejun’s mind lately, the man that becomes the sole reason why he finally left the house and came to the party tonight. “You were looking at Yangyang, right?”
Bingo.
Now that confirms everything.
“You know him?” Dejun asks.
Lucas nods excitedly. “Yes, he is Hendery’s junior in marketing and business, but we shared the same elective class because he’s just that smart. I can introduce you to him!”
Instead of answering Lucas’ offer, Dejun runs back home.
_____
The phone rings exactly at 3 pm every day, but Dejun hasn’t answered each call since he came back from the party.
But it still rings insistently.
It feels… weird now, since Dejun finally could put a face on Yangyang (and he’s honestly surprised that Yangyang really gave him his real name), the guy who has been calling him, to whom he’s been talking with every day, for a month.
The guy he’s been having a crush on.
Dejun has been thinking of a lot of things about Yangyang over and over again lately, especially of his crush on Yangyang.
How does it feel now that I know how he looks? Especially now that I can imagine how he laughs when we talk on the phone? How his frown looks like when he scolds me every time I sound sleepy on the phone?
Does it change the way I feel about him?
Am I still interested in him?
Am I actually interested in his personality or his appearance? Or both?
Dejun exhales loudly.
He has never fallen in love with someone before. Yes, he is nineteen. Yes, he had crushes here and there. Yes, he realized his sexuality, and came to terms with it, way back during high school.
But he’s never been this interested, this invested in someone before.
Would it change anything if they introduced themselves to each other that night? Would Yangyang feel disappointed if he knew that Dejun lied about his name? What would his mind think when he sees Dejun’s face for the first time? What if Yangyang stops calling him again because he’s disappointed?
One thing is for sure, their worlds would undeniably shift if they met in person that night.
But what if it shifts for the better? What if Yangyang actually likes him back, and they can finally date for real?
At 3.15 PM, the phone rings again.
Dejun groans into his pillow.
_____
At first, Dejun decided that he would never let his world collide with Yangyang’s.
But after ignoring Yangyang’s call for exactly four days, he finally decided that he would let their worlds collide, simply because he missed Yangyang so much.
“Hello?”
“Xiaojun! Gosh! You’ve been ignoring my calls! Are you okay?”
“I-I am okay,” Dejun clears his throat. “I had been having extra classes for the past four days, and they were from 2-4 PM. I couldn’t inform you because I don’t know your phone number. I am sorry, Yangyang.”
“Hey hey, it’s okay! I understand! I was just worried, so I am glad that you’re actually okay! I thought you were sick… or sick of me, maybe?” Yangyang laughs awkwardly.
Dejun now feels even guiltier for ignoring Yangyang’s calls. Yangyang is such an angel.
“No, Yangyang, never.” Dejun says heartfeltly. “I will never, ever be sick of you.”
Dejun (yes, again) can hear the smile in Yangyang’s voice. “That’s… really sweet, Xiaojun. Thank you.”
Xiaojun can’t help but smile as well. “Anytime, Yangyang.”
They are quiet for a few seconds before Yangyang finally clears his throat.
“Anyway, Xiaojun… I am calling today because I want to inform you…” Yangyang sighs loudly. “That I am not going to call you again starting tomorrow.”
To say that Dejun is shocked is such an understatement.
“But… why?” Dejun asks weakly. “Are you going to have classes at this hour starting tomorrow? Maybe we can change our call time? Or… oh god, is it the phone bill? I don’t mind being the one calling you instead, really!”
Yangyang laughs wetly. “No, Xiaojun… god, can you believe that you made me so happy just now? Because that means you enjoy our phone calls too. I thought it was one-sided all this while.”
Dejun shakes his head although Yangyang cannot see it. “I really, really enjoy our phone calls, Yangyang. In fact, those calls are always the highlight of my days. It is never one-sided, really.”
Yangyang sighs softly. “I am glad, Jun. Really, thank you.”
“If those are not the problem, then why can’t we have our usual calls again?” Dejun insists.
“I…” Yangyang pauses for a while. “I am moving to Germany, Xiaojun.”
Dejun’s brain short-circuits.
“....Germany? Why?” Dejun asks sadly. “That’s… so far.”
“Yeah, I know.” Yangyang sighs again. “When I graduated from high school, I actually tried applying for a scholarship to continue my degree in one of the universities there, but I didn’t manage to pass, that’s why I enrolled at the uni where I’m studying now. And then, around a week ago, the university called me and said that one of the scholarship recipients decided to withdraw, so the scholarship was awarded to me instead.I discussed this a lot with my parents, and we all decided to… take the chance.”
“And today is your last day here?” Dejun whispers weakly.
“Yeah… My flight is tomorrow, tomorrow morning to be exact.”
The line goes silent again.
“Yangyang.”
“Hm?”
“I…” Dejun wipes a single tear rolling down his face. “I will miss you.”
“I will miss you so much too, Xiaojun.”
“And… take care. It’s a whole different country, just… stay safe.”
“Yeah, I will.” Yangyang answers. “You take care of yourself too, Xiaojun. Although, I know you’ll be bored without me.”
Dejun laughs wetly. “I will be very bored, for sure, but I’ll survive. No worries.”
Yangyang hums softly.
“So… this is goodbye, I guess?”
“No, not goodbye.” Yangyang refutes. “This is ‘see you again’. I don’t know when, but I promise I’ll see you again, Xiaojun. Maybe someday both of us can finally meet?”
“Yeah.” Dejun agrees. “We better meet the next time you’re back here. We’ll find a way.”
“Hmm.” Yangyang hums again. “So… see you again, Xiaojun.”
“See you again, Yangyang.”
Dejun puts down the phone, then he stares at it, as if it’s going to magically ring again and Yangyang is on the other side, telling him that it was just one of his pranks and he’s not actually moving to Germany.
But no matter how long he stares at the phone, it doesn’t ring again.
His housemates found him still at the same position when they arrived home, sitting on the sofa and looking at the phone with an empty stare. He’s been staring holes at it that prompted Lucas to ask him if he is alright.
Dejun breaks down in tears instead.
Because this is how the story of his first love ends.