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Wooyoung has always felt bad for waking Jongho up because of his night terrors. If he could, he’d stop them for his and his boyfriend’s sake, but they just won’t go away.
Once or twice a week, Wooyoung will wake up in the middle of the night in a dead panic. There’s shaking, crying, and sometimes he’ll scream before he even opens his eyes. He and Jongho have been sharing a bed for months now, and he only feels worse every time he wakes up the other. If he’s lucky, he can get out of the bed and cry in the kitchen without making too much noise.
Tonight, however, is one of the worst night terrors he’s experienced in a while.
It started out as the average nonsensical culmination of his inner psyche. But halfway through, a sense of dread crept up on him until the scene had evolved into a torrent of panic-inducing graphic images that made his heart race out of his chest. The feeling consumed him until he was a mess, clawing at his own limbs to tear out that fearful sensation right below his skin. It doesn’t work, though, and so he collapses in on himself and bawls his eyes out. His heart rate stutters, and suddenly everything stops, which only worries him more.
It takes a moment to realize that he had scared himself awake. Something grabs his leg until he realizes that they’re just the bed sheets, and the only screams are his own bouncing off the walls. He slaps a hand over his mouth, but his lungs haven’t caught up with his brain which hasn’t caught up with his heart. He chokes on his own spit and rubs his eyes then covers his ears, but the panic won’t stop. Please, why won’t it stop?
The room’s only lit by the moonlight shining through their window, making the shadows around him too calm. As if they’re waiting to jump forward. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees movement, then he senses a presence. Wooyoung almost screams again at the hands that reach out to him. It’s Jongho.
It’s only Jongho. It’s just your loving boyfriend. You’re fine-
He hears Jongho speaking through the panicked hysteria in his own head. “Hyung, are you okay? Can you talk to me, please?” The younger sounds like he’s already wide awake and overcome with worry. That’s when Wooyoung starts sobbing.
I can’t take this right now. I can’t think straight. Please don’t make me talk.
He can’t seem to form words, instead hyperventilating and pulling at his own hair in an effort to ground himself. Jongho notices the bad habit immediately and wants to untangle his boyfriend’s fingers before he hurts his scalp too much. “Youngie, please let go. It’s just me right here. Hold my hand instead, okay? Can I touch you?” That feeling of panic just won’t go away yet. Wooyoung’s okay, right? Wooyoung doesn’t know if he should let Jongho hold him yet, but he nods anyway. Jongho’s trustworthy. He’s gotten so good at being able to take care of him when he’s like this. He needs him.
It’s because you’ve bothered him with this overdramatic bullshit for months. How can you live with yourself?
At that thought, the grip in Wooyoung’s hair only tightens, but Jongho slides one hand over Wooyoung’s and rubs circles over it, trying to relax the death grip on his roots.
I need to calm down. Why can’t I calm down?
“Can you take a deep breath, baby?” he asks. Wooyoung tries to, but he only wheezes and goes red in the face. “Let’s try again, okay?”
While he tries again, Jongho takes his hands and untangles Wooyoung’s fingers until he isn’t gripping his own hair anymore. Jongho pulls one towards his own chest. “Can you breathe with me, baby? Will that help?”
Wooyoung wants to claw at his own chest to match their breathing, but when Jongho sees that, he gently takes the hand and guides it to the same spot as the other. “Inhale for four seconds?”
Jongho takes a dramatic breath that his boyfriend should be able to easily follow, then slowly releases it. Wooyoung is so caught up in taking any breath that he still falls behind, so Jongho does it again, giving Wooyoung more time to match the rhythm before releasing it. Now he catches on a bit quicker. They do the same thing five more times until Wooyoung is breathing with him at a steady pace.
“Can you take a breath on your own now?” Jongho asks.
The older shakes his head, too scared to do it on his own yet. “No,” he wheezes. “Can I- can-” but he gives up on speaking when he loses his breath again.
His boyfriend nods, trying to stay calm for both their sake. “Okay, three more together.”
Wooyoung starts up again, but he’s still not confident. Jongho fixes this by getting rid of the space between them. He pulls Wooyoung closer until the older is sitting in his lap, and leaning into his chest. His boyfriend relaxes in the hold automatically, and that’s when everything clicks into place. Wooyoung’s breathing becomes less laborious. Now that he’s surrounded by Jongho, he can find the beat much quicker. With a sob of relief, Wooyoung falls into his boyfriend’s arms and cries it out for a whole minute.
God, this is pathetic.
Jongho gathers Wooyoung’s weak limbs into his arms and rubs his back to offer some form of comfort. He whispers small words of praise into his ear to remind him of what’s happening, and he massages the older boy’s scalp to alleviate any residual pain. “I think you woke up in the middle of a panic attack,” he says.
Wooyoung opens his mouth to say something, but the thought leaves him when his breath hitches again. In a split second, he worries that he lost his rhythm again, but his boyfriend shushes him with a kiss on the forehead, which does the trick. All at once, the fatigue rolls through him in a single wave. Wooyoung is exhausted. So exhausted that he’s run out of tears to cry. He feels worthless.
“It’s okay, baby,” Jongho soothes. “I’m right here, and we’re both safe and sound. We’re in our apartment, remember? What did we have for dinner last night?”
Wooyoung tears up in shame when it takes him an entire minute to even begin to think of an answer. “Takeout?” he whispers. “From the...from the- the place on the street.” What’s the name of the street?
“Yeah, we got food from that nice place that Yunho-hyung owns,” Jongho encourages.
The older sniffles. “On Yeonnam-ro?”
Jongho smiles into Wooyoung’s hair and rubs up and down his back one more time. “Exactly. Good job, baby.”
Wooyoung hums softly at the praise. He feels really light-headed from all of that panicking. Without thinking, he wipes his tears on Jongho’s shoulder, but his boyfriend doesn’t mind anyway. As long as he’s not panicking anymore. Wait, does he mind?
“Let’s just take a minute to relax, okay?” Jongho suggests. Wooyoung nods and buries his face in the younger’s neck. He keeps taking deep breaths, slowly melting into Jongho’s hold as his heart rate slows to a calmer beat. After a couple of minutes, the gears start turning.
I made Jongho take care of me again. I can’t believe I woke him up and robbed him of even more sleep. It’s been years of the same bullshit, and I still can’t handle this by myself like an adult?
“Hyung? Are you still awake?” Jongho whispers. Wooyoung shudders. How does his boyfriend tolerate him? “Wooyoungie?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “You can go back to sleep now.”
“What?” Jongho sounds surprised. He shouldn’t be, or at least that’s what Wooyoung thinks. “I can’t leave you alone like this. What kind of person would I be if I just went to sleep after you had a terrible panic attack?”
“Someone who got tired of their stupid boyfriend crying like a baby every night?”
That baffles Jongho. “Baby-” Wooyoung whines at the name. “Hyung,” he tries again, “you’re not a baby for crying when you have night terrors. They don’t happen every night,” he clarifies, “and even if I got tired of this happening, that would not excuse my behavior if I just left you alone rather than trying to help you through this. I’d be terrible for that.”
“But I would understand,” Wooyoung insists. “Seriously, you can go back to sleep now. I’ll just go get some water and be back later.”
Jongho pauses to take in what his boyfriend had just said. “Don’t you want me to help you? Why do you want me to go back to sleep?” Then another thought comes to him. “Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, no,” Wooyoung counters. He pulls away from Jongho, and looks into his eyes. “It’s me that’s doing something wrong. You always have to take care of me whenever I’m like this,” he explains. “You lose sleep because of me, and I shouldn’t do that to you. It’s not right.”
The younger’s expression softens. So that’s what this is about. It’s been brought up a few times before, but he thought that they had settled this ages ago. “These night terrors aren’t just some inconvenience, hyung. It’s not like you’re intentionally suffering through these. You matter so much more than an hour of sleep each week, and if waking up to take care of you is what it takes to help, then I’ll gladly do it.”
“But don’t you get worn out?” Wooyoung presses, growing desperate. “I’m sure you’ve woken up at least once and thought, ‘oh no, not this again’.”
Jongho hums and pulls Wooyoung even further into his lap, letting the younger hide in his chest. “Well, I know that you don’t want these either. It’s not a choice that you get to make, baby, and that breaks my heart every time I see you like this. What would hurt worse is knowing that I can’t help you at all.”
The fire in Wooyoung’s argument pitters out, and he drops his head. He just can’t believe that he means that much to Jongho. One question still scares him almost as much as the night terrors do. He frowns and blinks back a few more tears. “Won’t you get tired of this one day?” he asks.
Jongho coaxes Wooyoung out so he can see his expression in the moonlight. When he sees that lingering doubt, he tears up as well. How could he ever grow sick of coddling his boyfriend? “I will never be tired of you,” he decides. “And I love taking care of you. I already don’t get to do that a lot.”
Wooyoung purses his lips as if to disagree, but he concedes and rubs at his eyes one more time. “Are you positive?”
“Absolutely.” Jongho cards his fingers through the older’s hair and cups his face. “You are the most precious thing that I have ever had the honor of holding in my arms. Of course I’m going to do everything I can to keep that smile on your face.”
Wooyoung hopes his boyfriend can’t see his blush through the darkness. “You’re always so poetic when I’m tired.”
Jongho pouts. “Anything for my baby.”
“I’m not a baby,” he whines.
“Yes, you are.”
Wooyoung sticks his tongue out at the other’s teasing, but lets up when he sees his boyfriend’s eyes.
Jongho looks at him tenderly and pulls Wooyoung a bit closer. “You’ll always be my baby boy,” he whispers. Immediately, a deep flush paints Wooyoung’s cheeks. Jongho laughs quietly and traces patterns up and down his boyfriend’s arms. “Why don’t we try taking your mind off of things?”
Wooyoung thinks for a second, sniffles, and smiles back. “I’d like that a lot.”
Jongho starts by peppering his face with kisses, wiping away any remnants of tears from his cheeks and flattening the worried creases on his forehead. Wooyoung squirms in his hold, wondering what to do when he gets cut off by a kiss on the lips.
“Don’t overthink this, okay?” Jongho tells him. “I’ll do all of the work for you. Just relax for me.”
Wooyoung frowns and looks into his eyes. “But you need to feel good too.”
“And I will,” Jongho promises. “You don’t need to tire yourself out for me to feel amazing. I already do whenever I’m with you.”
The older huffs. “You’re so cheesy.”
Jongho smiles into another kiss then takes the hem of Wooyoung’s shirt in between his fingers. “You like it, though.” Wooyoung scrunches his nose yet doesn’t protest. He holds up his arms so his boyfriend can tug his shirt off, then he pulls at Jongho’s, who obediently takes that off too.
“Where’s the lube?” Wooyoung asks. Jongho points to their bedside table, and Wooyoung leans back to grab the bottle and a condom from inside. He hands it to Jongho, who hums.
“You’re going pretty fast. What’s the occasion?”
“Your dick, obviously.”
The younger grimaces and places both items off to the side. “This is supposed to feel special.”
“Your dick feels special.” Wooyoung then proceeds to snake a hand down to Jongho’s crotch and cup the bulge in his pajama pants.
Jongho yelps and swipes at Wooyoung’s hand. He grabs Wooyoung’s chin and forces them to make eye contact. “Behave.”
The older whines when he can’t get what he wants yet, so he gives his boyfriend puppy eyes and sticks out his bottom lip. “Prep me, please?”
Even in the dark room, Jongho can tell that his boyfriend is playing with him, but he doesn’t see why they can’t. “Alright, baby. Lie down on the bed.”
Wooyoung smiles and scoots off of Jongho’s lap until he’s in the proper position. The other stands and strips before circling around to take Wooyoung’s pants and boxers off as well. He spreads the older’s legs apart and finally picks the lube back off the bed where it was abandoned.
Once he warms up the substance with his fingers, Jongho reaches for Wooyoung’s hole and begins circling it to help his muscles relax. It’s still not as warm as it could be, which makes Wooyoung jump a bit.
“I’m sorry, baby. Did I scare you?” the younger teases. His boyfriend hums and elects to ignore the question, instead wiggling his ass to encourage a quicker pace. Just for that, Jongho pauses to put a pillow underneath his hips now rather than later.
“You’re doing this on purpose,” Wooyoung accuses him.
“Doing what?”
“Whatever,” he grumbles.
Jongho inserts his first finger, and waits for some give before pumping it in and out so Wooyoung won’t get hurt. He starts slow then increases his pace until there is just enough space to continue with another finger. But in Wooyoung’s opinion, that’s too slow.
“Go faster,” Wooyoung whines.
Jongho leans over to take some more lube onto his fingers. “You have to be patient, baby boy,” he sings. “I can’t risk hurting you, can I?”
Wooyoung deflates at the light scolding. “No.”
“So I’ll take it slow,” - Jongho steals a kiss before the other can protest - “but it’ll still feel amazing. I promise.” Then he inserts his second finger.
True to his word, Wooyoung begins to feel overwhelmingly aroused even before he’s done being prepped. Just watching his boyfriend’s concentration, the sharp crease in his brow and calculating movements as he stretches him out turns him on more than he wants to admit. He’s so happy he found someone that cares about him like this.
Before Wooyoung knows it, a third finger has been added, properly stretched, and the prep is over. He watches Jongho take the condom out of its wrapper. While he rolls it on, Wooyoung thinks of what position he wants to be in tonight. “Can I be on top, please?”
Jongho looks back at him. “ Are you sure, Youngie? You’re already tired.”
“Please?” he begs. “Just for a bit. I wanna feel you inside more.”
His boyfriend gives him an amused look but shrugs anyway. “Sure, I prepped you enough.”
“Yay,” he cheers. Wooyoung sits up and holds out his arms until Jongho gets the hint and picks him up off the bed. Eventually, Jongno is laying down where Wooyoung just was, and the older is kneeling beside him, waiting to start.
After a few pumps and more lube, Jongho is ready for Wooyoung to start sinking down onto him.
Wooyoung swings one leg around, takes Jongho’s dick in his hand, positions himself over the head, then lowers himself until it breaches his hole. The both of them immediately feel a spark of arousal as Wooyoung clenches around the wide girth. Jongho tries his best not to buck up into the euphoric feeling, and Wooyoung has to pause to collect himself again. He keeps moving down, groaning with every inch until he’s finally seated on Jongho’s lap. The older tips his head back as he takes a deep breath and lets himself adjust to the fullness.
Meanwhile, Jongho can’t look away. Looking up, he watches the moonlight hit Wooyoung perfectly. His deep chocolate eyes sparkle behind a thin veil of bangs that have tumbled forward. The beauty mark beneath his left eye stands out against the dark room, lighting up his features.
Jongho smiles fondly when Wooyoung sees him staring. “You’re so beautiful,” he confesses. “Even if it’s midnight or four in the morning, how could I ever regret waking up when I get to see you again?”
Wooyoung can feel the blush creeping down past his neck and up to the tips of his ears. He wiggles shyly and crosses his arms over his chest to hide himself. “Thanks,” he manages.
Jongho props himself up on his elbows curiously. “You don’t have to hide, baby.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes, and leans down for another peck, but Jongho surprises him by uncrossing his arms and deepening the kiss.
They try to savor the moment, melting into each other as the silence wraps around them, memorizing their taste and smell so they can keep it stored for a rainy day apart. Jongho reaches out to pull his boyfriend closer. That is until the both of them feel the friction and remember what it was they were doing.
Wooyoung lets out a squeak at the feeling of Jongho’s cock almost slipping out of him. He breaks the kiss to seat himself again and laughs. “Did you forget?”
Jongho blushes. “I got distracted.” Wooyoung pulls a face, which earns him a light slap on the arm. “Do you want to start moving then?” the younger prompts.
Wooyoung exhales and nods. “But get up. I want to hold you.” The younger rolls his eyes and does as he’s told.
While Jongho sits up, Wooyoung takes a hold of his arms, appreciating the work his boyfriend does on his physique. It compliments both his shape and personality: strong and defined with a soft, delicate layer on top. He’s always acted as a place of comfort for Wooyoung, like his own personal teddy bear.
Without realizing, a giggle comes out, surprising Jongho just as he gets comfortable again. “What was that for?” he asks.
The older just beams and shakes his head. “Nothing important.”
Jongho squints knowingly with a hint of amusement. “You know, we can probably save on our electric bill if you keep lighting up the room like that.”
Wooyoung’s hands fly up to his cheeks. “Could you please stop making me burn up while your dick is inside me?”
“Okay, fine.” Jongho teases. “But my point still stands, even if you look good in any light.”
His boyfriend pouts. “You look good in any light.”
Jongho can feel the heat underneath his skin. “So I can’t praise you, but you can praise me?”
Wooyoung hums. “Maybe.”
“You’re so cute.” Jongho leans and steals another kiss. “I love you so much, baby boy.”
The older gives up on hiding his blush at this point, instead diving in for another kiss to continue from where they left off.
He grinds further down on Jongho’s cock, lighting their nerves just enough to reignite that feeling of want. That inspires his boyfriend to cradle his neck and deepen the kiss even more.
Jongho takes extra special care of the mole on Wooyoung’s bottom lip, biting down on it gently before sliding his tongue across. Wooyoung gasps at the feeling and grants him access. They make out leisurely until the grinding isn’t enough anymore, so Jongho surprises him again and thrusts upward. Wooyoung moans at the feeling, letting his sounds be swallowed by the other as he continues to encourage the younger. Jongho plants his feet and snaps his hips again.
They build a steady pace, bouncing up and down and filling the room with lewd noises that hopefully don’t wake their neighbors. Neither of them even know what time it is. Nothing else matters right now. Wooyoung wraps his arms around Jongho and presses their chests together, burying his hands in the soft skin of his back.
After a minute, the younger pulls away to take a breath, and uses this time to get a strong hold on his boyfriend’s hips to make it easier on him. But both of their thighs are shaking from the effort, so he makes a snap decision and flips them over so Wooyoung is lying down again.
“Holy shit,” Wooyoung mumbles. He relaxes into the sheets while Jongho starts up a new pace. “Please, please…” The pleasure is beginning to wrap his head in cotton, and with Jongho over top of him, he begins to feel so safe and comfortable.
Jongho notices it as well. His boyfriend is letting go, unwinding with every sense. He snaps his hips, making Wooyoung fall a little faster and lean back into that trust they built together. That’s all Jongho wants for him. He wants Wooyoung to know that he can trust him.
The younger keeps up that pace, and accompanies each thrust with praise. He can feel his hyung’s muscles relax under his touch while his hands roam up and down his body. “It’s okay, baby boy,” he whispers. “I’ll take care of you.”
Wooyoung blinks up at him hazily and finally lets himself fall back into his headspace. “Hyungie, please,” he whines in between pants. “Please go faster, please pleaseplease.”
“Alright, baby,” Jongho placates. Wooyoung lets out a soft-pitched yelp when he adjusts and hits his prostate dead on. “You feel so amazing. Such a good little boy.” The younger dips down for a kiss while the other scrunches his face with pleasure.
Wooyoung can only respond with a distracted, “Mmm,” as he loses any fight that he had left. In this moment, he feels so much more content to lay there and let Jongho give him exactly what he knows he needs. No thoughts, just feelings.
One particular thrust catches Wooyoung by surprise. He gasps and grabs Jongho's hand as the older begins to feel himself inch closer to that euphoric feeling. His boyfriend rubs his thumb up and down the back of it, coaxing him further. “Hyung,” Wooyoung pants.
“That’s it,” Jongho groans. He is also growing more and more affected, ready to let the feeling take him, but he wants Wooyoung to reach that moment first. “Let hyung take you there, okay?”
He reaches down and finally gives some attention to Wooyoung’s cock. The older jolts at the feeling, completely surprised but no less excited. Jongho matches his own speed while he jerks off his boyfriend. He focuses on twisting his hand, rubbing at the head, and digging into Wooyoung’s slit without interrupting the pace.
All of this stimulation grows to be too much for Wooyoung to handle. The constant drag across his prostate, the tingling sensation of Jongho’s touch across his body, and Wooyoung’s cock being worshipped by his boyfriend’s large, warm hand. He can’t even warn Jongho before his abdomen tightens and he releases onto himself. His eyes roll back, unable to comprehend his own surroundings while his boyfriend jerks him off through his orgasm.
The sight below Jongho makes him come as well, reaching down for one more open-mouthed kiss underneath Wooyoung’s chin, and he cums mid-thrust. Ribbons of whits fill the condom, and he gives a few more thrusts before pushing himself in for the last time, and collapsing on top of Wooyoung.
The both of them stay there, catching their breath and letting the pleasurable high melt away into a calming afterglow. Jongho wraps his arms around Wooyoung and cages him in. In return, Wooyoung curls in and buries his nose in Jongho’s cheek. After a few minutes, the fatigue makes Wooyoung go lax in his boyfriend’s hold.
Jongho blinks for a bit before he notices some light coming through the window. The sun must be rising soon. He finally decides to check his phone, making sure not to move Wooyoung too much. 5:58am. How long have they been awake?
The younger watches the sun peek out over the horizon of trees and buildings. After a few minutes, he wonders if he should wake Wooyoung up so they can experience this together, but his boyfriend stirs before he can make that decision.
Wooyoung’s eyes flutter open after that short nap, and he meets the view of Jongho’s golden complexion accompanied by a pink sunrise showing off his soft features. “Pretty,” he giggles.
Jongho smiles. “Is my baby still there, or are you back?”
Wooyoung shrugs, settling on a sort of middle ground as he regains his senses. “Feel good,” he breathes. “Can we stay here, please?”
Jongho chuckles and runs his fingers through Wooyoung’s hair. “Of course we can, but only for a bit. Then we need to get up and take a bath.”
“Don’t wanna,” the older whines.
“What if I carry you?”
Wooyoung pauses to think before huffing. “Fine, okay.”
“Brat,” Jongho mumbles.
“I’m not a brat.”
“Yes, you are.”
Wooyoung scoffs. “No, I’m not.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” Jongho teases. Wooyoung sticks out his tongue, but it only makes his boyfriend smile fondly. “Even if you’re not a brat, will you still let me take care of you?”
Wooyoung’s expression softens, and he hums absentmindedly. “I guess. You don’t have to, though.”
“I want to,” Jongho insists. “I’ll make you breakfast. Please?”
The older wants to argue, but he knows that there is no point when all he sees now is his boyfriend’s uncontrollable love for him in every way he can show it. It gives him a feeling which no other can compare. He feels safe.
Wooyoung sighs and lets a small grin show in the morning light. “I’d love that, actually.”