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Billie stared at the ceiling, trying her best not to shift her gaze away not even for a second. Wait, was that the window banging? Maybe if she just... No, she told herself, no distractions! Even a sudden blink of the eyes would be a mistake! Out of all the places she visited during her travels, he had to be here, and she had to stay focused.
Oscar rubbed his head into her hand, whimpering while looking at her with sad eyes. Billie allowed herself to give the little fox a half smile and a pet.
Suddenly, Billie felt her bell ringing: she gingerly tinkered with it to answerer it. The moment she did, the familiar, warm voice of her mentor was heard, their voice filled with worry.
"Billie, it's me, Aristotle. Are you still there?"
Billie wasn't able to reply right away; far from wanting to be impolite in front of the kind axolotl, or make them worried, she nevertheless felt it hard to tell them she was, infact, still intent on staying in the castle.
"...Billie, I-I know you wish to see Arthur again. Believe me, so do I. But he's not here. I've visited this mansion so many times during my travels in hopes to find him too, and..."
Aristotle took one second to try to collect themselves, and even then their voice was close to cracking.
"I-I was never able to sense his presence in this place. It pains me to say this, but I'm afraid it won't be different, this time."
Billie chocked back a sob before replying, her eyes filled with tears.
"But he has to be here! There's so many ghosts in this building, one of them has to be him! If only I were able to see them all, maybe I could recognize him!"
Aristotle's voice stayed silent for a moment, while Billie did her best to keep her composure. Finally, they were heard again.
"I understand your pain, Billie, but it's almost night, and everyone is starting to get worried..."
"Just a little more time, please Aristotle? I need to do this."
A sigh came from the bell, before Aristotle continued.
"Alright Billie. You can stay a little longer, but the moment the sun starts to set, it's better if you take your leave: at night there's so many creeps around, and as much as you've improved with your magic since we first met, it's still too risky for you and Oscar to go around on your own. We'll be waiting for you in the village: I've prepared some hot chocolate for your arrival. If you want, we'll talk it over together, is that ok?"
Despite her eyes still warm with tears, Billie cracked a smile. "Thanks, Aristotle."
A light chuckle was heard.
"Anytime, my dear. I'll be seeing you soon. Take care!"
And with that, the bell fell into silence. Billie took a moment to sigh, rub her eyes and return her gaze to the ceiling above. Many ghosts of all shapes and sizes where hovering about, letting out delighted ghoulish moanings, without a care in the world, barely noticing the small goat staring at them with sad hope.
Was Aristotle right? Was it true her father wasn't here? But what if he were? Would he look like he did when he was alive? Would he recognize his own daughter, all grown up?
Billie sighed again. "I was really hoping to find you here...", was all she could say before being interrupted by a familiar, high-pitched voice that sent a chill down her spine.
"Whoooo were you hoping to find~?"
The sudden appearance of Barnaby took Billie by surprise, making her gasp a little before turning her head: she was staring at the ghost owl's face, his long neck stretched so to look at her in the eyes with an amused, and jambled up, expression.
"Barnaby, what the heck! You startled me!"
Barnaby merely chuckled at her surprise, all too used to such reactions from people.
"Were you by chance hoping to find me? Oh, you sillyhead, I've been here the whole time!" He paused to playfully stick his tongue out. "Infact, I've been here for a loooooong time to begin with! Hoo-hoo-hoo~!"
Billie just stared at him; the battle she had with the ghost owl not too long ago did nothing to change his extravagant ways: he didn't even take his defeat in bad stride, surprisingly enough. Well, she figured, considering all the fun he had in tormenting her beforehand, it was fair to believe it was all even between them. At least Barnaby promised he would've stopped with the whole "Would you like to die?" idea, and she really hoped he was an owl of his word.
"Actually" she replied, while returning to her previous activity "I was looking for my father".
Barnaby's face jolted in confusion, all his features returning to place as his neck snapped back to its original lenght.
"Your father? Why would he be here?"
Billie kept her gaze upwards. "He died a long time ago, when I was just a baby. All I know about him has only been told by others: my mother, my mentor... The only reason I know what he looks like is thanks to the photos we hanged in my home, but it's not the same: I've seen so little of him, and that was too long ago. All I'm able to remember was his laughter." She began to smile. "I remember it was warm, loving and calming. Sometimes even just thinking about it makes me feel better."
Her smile fell. "But that's all I managed to keep in my heart. With your home filled with so many ghosts, I was hoping to see him, at least once."
Barnaby just stared at her for a moment. His mind started to itch, for a reason even he couldn't explain; his momentary confusion was put to a pause when he heard a noise of indignation from the little goat, making that itch stop. Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't important, he thought to himself with a smile.
"Nghh, but these ghosts are being so stubborn! Why can't they just stay put just one second?! It's like they don't care about anything!" Billie was growning more and more fed up with these wisps: the more she tried to focus on them, the more it seemed they kept on hovering out of her sight just to make fun of her. To think she used to be scared of those pests...!
Her huff of annoyance was enjoyable to watch, to Barnaby's bemusement, especially if it was about some obvious knowledge about ghosts' carefree nature.
"Why, that's how ghosts are, dearie! The moment you're dead, you don't have to care about anything anymore! No worries, no fears, no regrets... It's all in the past! And like all that is past, it all fades away~..." And with that he started disappearing to drive the point home. "Just like us ghosts, after all! Hoo-hoo-hoo~!", he concluded as he poofed back into existence in front of her, smiling widely.
To such response, Billie suddenly felt tense with a frightful thought: if what Barnaby said was true, that would've meant Arthur could very well have lost all memories of his past life, and all his beloved ones. Aristotle, his wife, his daughter... everyone.
"All... fades away? Even all the memories of the people they loved?!"
Here's that itch again. This time it felt stronger and irritating, yet Barnaby decided to just ignore it, despite of how annoying it was. Why couldn't it just go away?!
"It's all part of the course, of course!" He giggled at his own pun. "After all, why hold on to memories of people you can't even hold near anymore?"
Billie grew only more agitated by the second. "But-but how can you consider that a good thing?! You-you can't just forget the ones you loved just like that! I mean-You! You're a ghost too! Can't you remember anyone you cared about?!"
Barnaby, up to that point, was merely watching the little one getting all worked up about the whole ordeal with an amused grin. Living beings, so attached to life! Such a lovely, if futile, sentiment, in the face of the inevitable eternal slumber. He was ready to give her the answer that would put all her uncertainties to rest, when suddenly his itch grew at his strongest, and he couldn't ignore it anymore.
He felt the need to hold his head between his tallons: was he feeling pain? No, impossible: he's been a ghost since as far as he can remember! Then why...? His mind started to be plagued by various scenarios; fragments that he wasn't sure how they were tied to each other to begin with.
A warm-lit room, a blossoming garden, a lab table filled to the brim with potions and magic tomes... Suddenly, he heard the faintest sound of laughter: a light, cheerful and happy laugh of someone he swore he never met, and yet felt so familiar, even loved and cherished. Something deep within him felt the wish to listen to that beautiful sound forever. Before he could properly focus on it, the laughter came to an abrupt finish as it got covered by a loud noise, so booming and deafening that shocked him to the core: next thing he knew, he was back to reality.
He didn't notice he had started hyperventilating, or that Billie was looking at him with a worried expression.
"Barnaby, what's wrong?! Are you ok?!"
Barnaby stared at her, as he tried, without success, to catch his breath. He barely remembered what just happened in his mind, but he could clearly feel something within that made him suffer, something that the living would associate with the feeling of pain. He felt his eyes starting to leak, as he struggled to reply to Billie, not daring to look at her any longer.
"I-I-I don't know. I-I can't remember..." As his urge to cry grew stronger, Barnaby started to hug himself with his wings, in hopes to find some needed comfort. Billie's presence wasn't helping things: by his own admission, it was never pretty when he cried, and having someone looking at him in this state made him feel even less at ease.
"I can't remember anything..." was all he could utter before covering himself completely in his ghostly plumage, hoping for the pain to leave him at once.
For the longest time, Barnaby felt only joy from the lack of memories, at last unbound by life and all the worries it'd entailed. And yet, this time out of all, he swore he were able to catch a glimpse of something, anything, that he once were able to hold dear, only to lose it at once. The more he thought about it, the more the already fickle hold he had on that memory slipped away; and the more tears flowed from his eyes.
And it all started with that little goat. How pitiful, he thought, breaking down like this in front of her, after all the teasing he gave her. He should've minded his own business and ignore her.
"But no!", his inner thoughts reprimanded him, "You had to pry on her problems and entertain her ideas! And look what it led you to: crying a river over something of which you can't even remember anything about, and won't have anymore! Can you be any more pathetic?! Oh, that's right: you're crying right in front of this little guest! Your pity party must be such pain to watch for her: she'll just leave you alone, like everyone else. No wonder you don't have any friends, if you costantly drive them away with your overblown ways! That's what you'll ever be: a sad wisp with no memories and no friends; not even your longest tea party will ever fix that. Just give up already! The sooner you'll accept it, the less it will hurt!"
"STOP!!" Barnaby finally snapped to that inner voice, as he cried harder: he didn't want to think of how the moment he finally had a friend, she was going to run away from his exaggerated manners, leaving him alone just like everyone else who came to his mansion always did. He didn't want to be reminded of the memories he didn't have anymore, of his beloved... Right now, he just wanted to stop existing altogether.
"Just... stop..." he kept on repeating, hanging his head lower, his eyes, ears and mouth drooping as they followed the slow movement along.
Meanwhile, Billie was left looking at Barnaby, all tuckered up in his wings. She gazed upon him as he was trying to calm himself down, unsure of what to do: one part of her wanted to reach out and give some form of comfort; and yet, she also didn't want to invade his bubble, and make everything worse.
She was all too aware of how so many villagers, back in her village, instantly had tired or weary looks on them the moment she approached them to ask them to join her on a new adventure, or to talk about all the things she had seen during her latest explorations. At first Billie paid no mind about it, but overtime she took notice, and began wondering if her approach was too much for people. Even after meeting Lou and Lily, who truly loved spending time with her on her adventures (dangers not witstanding), and after beginning her magic training with Aristotle, she often felt she had a habit of coming off too strong to many of her neighbors.
And, right now, just like those times, Billie felt she went too far with Barnaby with her earlier questions, fearing she unknowingly touched a nerve during her earlier agitated state of mind. Ok, in all fairness, she had no idea such words could affect him so much; but still, she felt guilt for her earlier moment of insensitivity, and was afraid of upsetting Barnaby even more, were she to come closer to him.
Timidly, she turned to Oscar. "Hey Oscar? What do you think I should do? I messed up already, I don't want to hurt him more than I did already..."
The little fox looked at Barnaby, then at Billie, and started whimpering. Billie nodded in understanding: regardless of what happened, she couldn't just leave the ghost owl in this time of need. She had to set things right and help him: it's what a hero would do, she told herself... and also a friend.
As she started to move forward, Barnaby's yell was heard from his tuckered form, which startled her: was it against her? Billie got more tense, but kept going. As she got closer, Billie heard small mutterings mixed with sobs coming behind his wings: it felt like Barnaby was whispering to himself, not even noticing her presence. That's when Billie realized he was stuck in an internal loop, detached from his surroundings. The young goat gulped: this was going to be harder than she thought.
As Billie tried to think of a way to approach Barnaby, her mind went to Aristotle's words, and how they were able to bring her comfort as she was hoping to find Arthur. Billie's thoughts went about the axolotl, and how much sadness they had in their voice during their call moments earlier: they too had to deal with Arthur's departure, many years ago, and she was told the two of them were so close together... Billie really hoped the axolotl had been able to have someone that comforted them as they were able to do for her: losing a father she never got to know was hard already, but losing your longtime beloved friend... it must've felt too much to handle.
The little goat looked at the sobbing owl: maybe, she thought, Aristotle's words would've been of help for him too, especially if, by his earlier words, he also struggled with remembering a loved one just like she did. "I guess we're not that different in that regard", she silently mused to herself.
She carefully got closer to Barnaby as she put a hand on his wing: as much as she didn't want to overstep her boundaries, she honestly couldn't think of any other option that could work. Billie took a deep breath, and hoped for the best.
"It's ok, Barnaby. I understand your pain."
Barnaby slowly peeked between his feathers, shifting his droopy gaze to the little goat, finally noticing her: she was still there, looking at him with sympathy, not a trace of ridicule nor fear on her face; that alone comforted him a little, despite his now long gone memory he wasn't able to reach anymore. But what truly shook him from his echo chamber were her words: for the first time since a long time, he felt understood, and that sentiment was enough to lift up his spirits, even if just a bit.
Without a word, his beak forming a wobbly, small smile, he stretched his neck once again to Billie's level, and got closer to her as she embraced his head, her own eyes filling with tears once more. Oscar got closer too, and nuzzled himself between the two, joining them in their hug. The sun was starting to set, and the ghosts kept on floating carelessly, but Billie figured that she could stay just a little longer.
"Thank you."