Chapter Text
"Why didn't you tell me anything?"
Cheng's voice was on the verge of breaking. He had just found out about Emma's death and tears had started running down his cheeks without him wanting to. He had been in that girl's body thanks to his power, he had somehow felt involved in her situation, and he couldn't believe that now she was gone forever.
Such a thing wasn’t right! They could have saved her!
That awareness, after the pain, had brought him fury. Fury towards the one whom he trusted blindly, but who had kept everything hidden from him. The one who hadn't moved a finger to save that poor girl.
Lu Guang.
Lu was in front of him, looking down with his blue eyes hidden by white hair. He still hadn't said a word after he had received a violent slap from Cheng, still at the mercy of anger.
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked again. "I trusted you! But you did something so cruel ... there is a limit to coldness and cynicism!"
Lu Guang raised his head and Cheng met an empty chasm in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that drove him crazy every time with just a single look.
It wasn’t like the previous time, that of the earthquake, this time Lu Guang didn’t seem cold and cynical as he had accused him of being. Unexpectedly, Cheng read an infinite sadness in his sky-colored irises, and was sucked into them, gasping for breath.
"I wanted to protect you," Lu whispered in a hoarse voice, full of a disarming melancholy.
"Bullshit!" Cheng attempted to carry on with his speech, even though his heart was pounding and his mind couldn’t ignore his partner's distressed expression. "What were you supposed to protect me from? Do you think I'm better off not knowing how things are? Do you think it's okay to keep secrets about important things like an adult does with a child? You're just a liar!" Cheng accused him.
"Yes, you are right." Lu answered, closing his eyes for a moment. Cheng Xiaoshi noticed in that moment the livid dark circles under his eyes. "From the beginning I've always lied to you. Always."
"What are you saying?"
"I know that man. I know who the serial killer is," Lu revealed in a whisper.
Cheng was speechless and his partner continued: "I lost my parents when I was little, and I lived alone for a long time, at least until I met him. At first it was just friendship then our relationship became... wrong. I let him drag me into an endless whirlpool. He was moody, violent and I was too young to be aware of the situation."
A spark of understanding broke through Cheng's eyes and he became horrified at those words.
"But most of all I was foolish and I didn't understand that he wanted me only for my power."
"Are you saying that ..."
"Yes." Lu interrupted him. "He has the same power as you, he can enter photographs and he needs me to do it. Initially he corrected only silly events that concerned him, but then he began to want to change important things and demanded my support."
Lu looked away for a moment then looked up at him. "I decided to leave him and ran away, but he swore that he would chase me to the end of the world and that he would kill anyone who got in his way. I wanted to start a new life, but at the same time I also wanted to isolate myself, stay away from everything and everyone. After being with him I was afraid of establishing relationships, I was afraid of falling into a similar nightmare ... until I met you. " Again Lu looked back at the ground while Cheng kept his eyes fixed on him. He seemed to be afraid of seeing him disappear, because in that moment he looked so terribly fragile, vulnerable, just as if he could fall apart in front of his eyes.
He had revealed to him a terrible and unthinkable truth, and Cheng didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to react.
He was shocked by the existence of another with his own powers, but even more tormented by the idea that he had been Lu's first partner in many, too many senses.
"You taught me what trust is, you treated me with frankness and with a kindness that I didn’t know. And slowly I began to live again, I began to believe I could escape the hell of my past. But then he came and everything fell apart again and again… "
"What do you mean?"
Lu smiled bitterly. "You may not believe me, but I have lost count of all the attempts I’ve made to change things. I have lived through the events of the last few months so many times, and each time it all ends with him about to kill you and with me bringing back the time before he does it. This is one of my powers, Cheng Xiaoshi. I can go back before an important time knot. And in this case it’s Emma's death. Because that's when he found me and started looking for information about us."
Cheng's eyes widened, incredulous at those words, his hand went to reach Lu Guang, to touch him, but he pulled it back when he saw his friend's face.
"I kept so many things hidden from you, I ruined our relationship and the trust you had in me, because I foolishly thought I could protect you, that I could protect you who taught me to live ..." Lu Guang shook his head in desperation "I've always told you that we couldn't change the future, yet I'm trying to do it myself. I'm a hypocrite and I'm sorry, but I'm not asking you to forgive me, because I'd do it again, ten, a hundred, a thousand times. Hate me if you want, you have every right to do it. "
Cheng clenched his fists until his nails sink into the flesh. "How can I?” he asked in a trembling voice. “I’m mad with you, but… how can I hate you if you talk to me like that? If there’s despair in your eyes and if you cry like this?" he approached him and dragged a tear away from Lu’s cheek with one finger.
Lu looked at the tear in surprise and touched his face. He hadn't noticed that he had started crying. For him it was something impossible, too natural and unusual for his detached character.
Cheng, seeing him so lost, drew Lu closer and wrapped him in his embrace. "All this time, struggling tirelessly without saying anything to anyone .. didn't you feel alone, Lu Guang? Couldn't you share this burden with me? What am I your partner for otherwise?"
Lu Guang shivered and buried his head in Cheng's shoulder. "I didn't want to do this to you, not this time. I wanted to involve you as little as possible ... If only I could get away from you forever ..."
"Don't even say it as a joke."
"He wants me, you are just an obstacle."
"I want to be an obstacle! I won't leave you to that insane guy. I don't even want to think about what he may have done to you in the past." The irritation in Cheng's tone was evident and Lu smiled wistfully.
"It does not matter."
"Yes, it does! I care about you, more than anyone else. And you know why, you know very well that you are the most important to me."
Lu trembled in the other's arms. "I'm afraid of these words," he murmured.
"Fool! You should be honored instead!" Cheng teased him. "I don't approve your decision to keep me away from everything, and you know it very well. But I love you too much to be really mad. I love you, okay? Do you understand this?"
Lu looked into his eyes with sweetness mixed with despair. "Why ... every single time I repeat these events, even if I change as many things as possible ... you always end up saying these words to me?"
Cheng then brought Lu’s lips to his and kissed him impetuously, tasting the other with greed, marking him with arrogance.
Whatever happened in the past he didn't care.
Whatever happened in the future he would face it.
The only thing that really mattered was the present, that wonderful moment that they were both experiencing together.
Lu belonged to him in that moment, to him and him alone. He wanted to shout to the whole world that Lu was the one he loved, that he would love him forever.
He wouldn’t have lost against that crazy guy who claimed Lu as his property, he wouldn’t have left him to anyone.
When Cheng Xiaoshi broke away from Lu Guang he smiled, hugging him with all the strength he had.
"Because it’s an absolute truth. And it can never change, neither now nor in any possible future."