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Ferdinand’s eyebrows furrowed into a vexed line. “Do you really believe that is the kind of man I am?” He asked. Heart twisting in his chest as he thought of Dorothea pairing him with the likes of those who dare treat others with such disrespect.
“You think I would ever treat people differently based on appearances? There is nothing noble about that!” Even the thought of it made him bitter, that nobles would treat others unkindly based on appearance or even status. It was a noble’s job to protect the weak. Anyone who thought they deserved more based on their lineage did not deserve to be called noble.
“Oh, really? You're something different? That's not how I remember things... “ Dorothea said. Her voice was wavering like she was on the verge of tears. Ferdinand looked at her desperately. He wanted to prove to her that he wasn’t like them. He had been trying to prove that to her since he was young, but Dorothea was set in her ways.
Her stubbornness had been part of the reason Ferdinand was drawn to her in the first place. He admired that about her, but he'd be lying if he said it was never frustrating. What Ferdinand wanted to do was grab Dorothea’s hands in his, and apologize. Even if it wasn’t him that had caused her grief. He wanted to apologize to her for all the people who had mistreated her. He wanted to convince her that not all nobles were bad. That he wasn’t bad.
“It was the very day that I was discovered... I was in high spirits. Nothing was wrong in the world.” Dorothea continued after a short silence. Her eyes were trained on the ground, arms crossed. She refused to meet Ferdinand's eyes, so all he could do was listen as she told her story. “I secretly bathed in one of the town's fountains, hoping to wash off some of the dirt from the streets. I sang the same song the opera composer overheard earlier that day. And that's when you appeared.” Dorothea met his eyes now. They were accusatory and stubborn. Ferdinand took a step forward, surprise spelled plain on his face.
“Me?! No, It could not have been.” Ferdinand’s voice was filled with worry, his eyes cloudy as if trying to recall something.
“Don't play dumb.” Dorothea snapped at him. “You glared at me, the same look I'd gotten from every other noble, then you ran off. When we met at the academy, you were a different person. All smiles and friendly words.” Her voice was trembling, but even so, she still had her jaw clenched in anger. Her emerald green eyes shone with the beginnings of tears. “You were like a bee, Ferdinand. A bee attracted to a flower in full bloom.” As Dorothea finished, she brought her hand up to her forehead and looked up, blinking quickly to dispel the tears that she didn’t want to spill over.
“When I saw you... I could not take my eyes off you. I was hypnotized. “ Ferdinand took a step towards her. He held out his hands, bringing them forward to reach for her own. He could feel his heart beating quicker in his chest. He had not thought of that moment in a long time. After a while, he had convinced himself he had imagined it. To have found that girl, in that fountain… It must have been fate. “Your beautiful voice, your elegant face...droplets of water on your skin that glittered in the sun. I thought you were a water nymph.” He said dazedly, eyes wide as he gazed at her.
“No. Stop it. Don’t lie to me.” Dorothea squeaked. She pulled her hands up to her chest, clenching them together so he could not possibly reach them. She shook her head, unable to believe what Ferdinand was saying. “Just… Don’t.” That was all she could get out before covering her mouth with her hand. She turned on her heel and walked briskly towards the grand doors of the chapel.
“Wait!” Ferdinand cried out, turning to follow her out. He could not lose her after he had just found her again! “Dorothea, please listen. This is a misunderstanding!” His feet moved quickly on the stone floor, metal boots echoing off the walls. But Dorthea only quickened her pace as he called out to her. She held up her hand before he could speak again.
“Stop. Don’t you dare follow me!” She called behind her, voice shaky, leaving Ferdinand alone in the large church building. His hand still outstretched to where she had been. He closed his fist, and let it drop back to his side, cursing himself for being too shocked to give her a proper explanation. He should have been faster to react, to assure her what she thought happened had been wrong. Dorothea was worth so much more than she was given.
With a heavy sigh, Ferdinand moved to the nearest pew, plopping down onto the seat with a thud, holding his head in his hands. His elbows rested on his knees, hair falling to curtain his face.
He had a positively wonderful view of the ground from here. Ferdinand made a strange sound as he recalled the way Dorothea had looked at him like he was some sort of heathen. She truly thought he, Ferdinand von Aegir, would glare at her! He hadn’t the courage to get mad at her, let alone glare. Ferdinand was unsure whether to leave her alone to cool off or to chase after her and put this disagreement to rest. Their friendship had only just solidified, and he didn't want to lose it yet.
Although he longed for something more than friendship, he wanted her to see him for who he was first. He didn’t want her to look at him and see the actions of those who had hurt her.
Ferdinand rapped his fingers on his knee, sitting up as he weighed each choice carefully. His brows were furrowed with worry, but his eyes shone with tentative determination. “No use will come from sitting here. I must go find her.” Ferdinand’s voice wasn’t loud, but the words held weight to them. He quickly ran his hand through his hair before standing up. He would find her and explain what had happened. How he had felt that day by the fountain. Without any more hesitation, Ferdinand von Aegir set out toward the monastery.
~ ~ ~
The sun beat down against the city of Enbarr, and the stone streets and short buildings did nothing to offer any respite from it. Ferdinand was avoiding his home, It was too hot there, not that it was any better out here. He was wandering the streets aimlessly, trying to avoid heading back until sundown.
Small hands were stuffed into the pockets of his new vest, the nice one his father had gotten him on his 9th birthday. He wasn’t entirely clear on what had happened, but they seemed to have a lot more money now. He had been told he was a proper noble now, and to act like one. He had taken that seriously, although he had always been well behaved, he was trying extra hard now. His tunic was tucked neatly into his trousers, although to be honest he would have liked to go without his vest, but it would hurt his father's feelings if he didn’t wear it. Probably.
Compared to the peak of summer, today was pleasant. Ferdinand figured it was all this stone that was making it so hot, that’s why they used it for fireplaces, right? Just he was trying to figure out how long until he could switch to his winter clothes, he noticed a little baker’s shop on the road up ahead. He pulled his hand out of his pocket, shaking it to cool it before brushing his hair out of his face.
The sign read “Terrowin’s baked goods”. ‘Paving their way in life.‘ He thought with a tiny smile. Ferdinand admired people who could make their own in the world. Even if they weren’t noble by blood, he thought they were very noble people. He hoped someday he would be able to do something just as inspiring. As he stood looking in their window, he could smell something sweet being baked from within, and it made his mouth water. He did have his coins with him… But he had eaten before he left. He didn’t want to ruin his appetite, maybe next time he’d get something.
With one last inhalation of the yummy scent, he turned and continued walking, a new spring in his step. He had a childish grin on his face, heat forgotten as he rounded a corner. He emerged into a square with a fountain in the middle of it, and his golden eyes widened. Ferdinand's pulse quickened and his breath caught at what he saw in front of him; There was a girl in the fountain.
Her beautiful voice reached Ferdinand’s ears and he felt his face grow hot. The tune tickled his brain and made his thoughts go fuzzy. Her voice had to have been the prettiest thing the boy had ever heard. As he stood gawking, the words slowly reached him.
“A field of lavender I gaze,
With the wind and the morning haze,
The wind blows soft my hair,
With the fragrance of the morning air,”
Ferdinand would never forget those words. So giddily sung, so pleasing to the ear. Water clung to the young girl's skin, glistening in the sun. They glittered and danced, and it made her seem ethereal, almost as if she herself was sparkling in the bright sun.
“Gently I stroke your cheek,
A tender touch of electricity,
And the petals glow soft on your face,
With shadows of silk-spun lace,”
Her voice was as sweet as honey. It was truly beautiful. Time slowed as Ferdinand stood there, listening to her voice. He let it wash over him, not wanting the song to end anytime soon. His feet were planted firmly in the ground, but as he heard her voice he felt his world spin. Butterflies started to flutter in his stomach, and he didn’t know how to get rid of them.
“The water glides off your skin,
Sparkling as the purest of gems,
Your eyes, they glitter and shine,
Captivate my gaze in the warm sunshine,”
A hesitant smile began to make its way onto Ferdinand’s face. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, and his eyes were locked onto the girl’s pretty brown hair. He couldn’t agree more with her words. Her face was elegant and lady-like, and the prettiest thing he had ever seen. Her eyes were closed as she sang, but he imagined they were just as gorgeous as her voice. Her hazel hair fell past her collarbone and framed her face perfectly. His thoughts had been overtaken by this girl, he had never felt this way before, he did not know what to make of it.
“Under wings of purity, a dove,
Lands soft on my shoulder with love.
She whispers words in my ear,
This song, you long to.. hear…”
The girl’s voice drifted off. She had seen him standing by the wall. Ferdinand blinked twice, he wanted to ask her to continue the song. He tried to gather up the courage to call out to her. To say something but the only thing that came out was a soft squeak. She was so far away, but even so, he could see her eyes. Emerald green and as bright as the trees on a summer day.
Ferdinand’s brain raced to think of what to do. He was free from her spell, his thoughts his own again. ‘What happened? Why could I not move?’
The two looked at each other for what felt like minutes, although in reality, it was no more than a few seconds. The girl glared at him, eyes narrowed with a hint of fear behind their green depths.
Ferdinand had no idea what to do.
So he ran.
He ran out of the square and back around the corner. His mind tried to make sense of what had happened back there, of who she was. He was so flustered he didn't know what else to do! He felt running was a cruel thing to do, but Ferdinand truly felt so intimidated he hadn’t the courage to speak even a single word to her. He wasn’t used to being around pretty girls.
Once he felt there was enough distance between him and the girl, Ferdinand came to a halt. He had come to the conclusion that it must have been a water nymph. There was no other explanation as to why he could not move. He had heard nymphs put men under their spells. He had heard tales of their great beauty and figured that must be what had happened to him. There was no other explanation as to why she had been so beautiful. No mortal could be so divine, he just could not believe it.
With a confused sigh Ferdinand sunk down, leaning against the back of whatever building he had stopped by. He looked up to the sky, the sun still shone as bright as before. Had he been dreaming? Had she been an illusion created by the heat? He didn’t know, but he did know his face was warmer than before. He brought his hand up and placed it gently on his cheek. Maybe he was coming down with a mid-season fever. He couldn’t stop replaying the scene over and over again in his head.
Ferdinand scolded himself as he realized how impolite he had been. Running away like that. Even if she was a dream, or a nymph, or whatever it was still rude. His skills involving the fairer sex were greatly lacking.
Why had he run away again? He could have gone up and spoken to her. Even if she was a water nymph, they liked talking to people, right? Would it have been so bad to be put under a spell? He shook his head, pulling his hand away from his face. “Running away like that… How foolish of me!” Ferdinand complained to himself, grabbing his hair in his hands as he stared at the ground angrily. He pouted like that for only a moment, before springing to his feet. “I will go back and find her!” He proclaimed to no one in particular as he began to sprint back to the square she had been in, hoping maybe he wasn’t too late.
As Ferdinand turned the corner for the second time that day, he felt his heart sink in his chest. He frowned deeply as he saw no one in the fountain. He must have made her up in his mind, an illusion of the fairy tales that used to be read to him. He moved closer to the fountain, it was empty, no sign anyone had been there at all. With a disappointed grumble, he turned and sat on the edge of the fountain, kicking the side of it as he climbed up.
The water bubbled next to Ferdinand as he reached up and placed his hand on his cheek again. It would have been nice if she were real, maybe they would have been friends. He started kicking his legs back and forth in the air, looking around the square. He thought about how pretty she had been, how nice her song was. If he had been less awkward he could have asked if she had a name. Ferdinand signed defeatedly letting himself try to recall the words of the mysterious gril’s song as he sat in the midday heat.
~ ~ ~
Ferdinand rushed through the monastery, his boots stomping against the ground in his search for Dorothea. He did not want to cause her pain, if she cried because of him he would never forgive himself. It is not noble at all to make a maiden cry. It was such a simple misunderstanding if only he could get the chance to explain it.
Ferdinand stuck his head into the dining hall, but he didn’t see her long brown hair among the crowd gathered. He let out a soft breath of frustration before moving on. Ferdinand weaved through the tables where guards were eating the last of their food, heading towards the back door. He would check the gardens where the gazebo was. He remembered when they were back in the officer’s academy, how they had shared tea there. He had been the one to supply snacks, having made each pastry by his own hand, with money he had worked for and ingredients he had gotten himself. He had done it to learn how some people got their treats.
It had been hard work, but Ferdinand had relished every moment of it. That was a valuable experience, and he had gotten to share it with Dorothea. She had been the one to spark that interest in the first place, but that shared afternoon had long since passed.
Ferdinand stopped running when the gazebo came into sight. His breath slowed as he saw Dorothea sitting by the table, her back turned to him. ‘She is truly beautiful.’ He thought but quickly shook his head. ‘Now is not the time.’ He carefully corrected himself.
Ferdinand slowly made his way towards Dorothea, the woman he had known most of his life. She didn’t seem to have noticed him yet, and Ferdinand cleared his throat softly as he came up behind her. She jolted in her chair and whipped around to face him.
“Ferdinand! What are- What do you want?” She asked, feigning composure. The streaks of tears on her face were clearly visible, and her hand shook even as she clutched it to her chest. Her face was composed and calm, but Ferdinand knew better. Beneath her stoic expression, her lip quivered ever so slightly, Ferdinand wanted to cup her face in her palms and press his thumbs to her water-stained cheeks.
Instead, he gestured to the seat on her right, “May I take that seat?” He asked delicately, voice as polite as a noble ought to be. Dorothea looked away from him, eyes fixed on a bush off in the distance, but she gave a slight nod. Ferdinand raised his eyebrows, golden eyes tender as he watched her, lowering himself into the chair. He folded his hands in his lap, wondering where he should start.
“Did you mean what you said,” Dorothea asked before Ferdinand could think of a proper way to start the conversation. He looked up from his lap in surprise, was it going to be that easy?
“Of course I meant what I said! I would never lie to you, Dorothea.” Ferdinand said earnestly, eyes burning with passion as he leaned forward in his seat. He could tell she was about to say something, so he kept his mouth closed. It was agony waiting for her to respond, but he was patient. He could wait an eternity for her if that’s what she wanted.
“So, you really did think I was a water nymph? That’s why you ran?” Dorothea asked carefully, slowly turning her face up to look at him, green eyes shimmered with left-over tears. She looked like she wanted to believe him like maybe it was a possibility he really wasn’t like the other nobles she had met in her lifetime. After all these years, maybe she was finally realizing.
“Yes! I was only a child. The vision overwhelmed me. That is why I ran.” Ferdinand said softly, face heating up until he could no longer hold her gaze. This time it was his turn to turn away, face burning as he knew Dorothea could see the color on his cheeks. He tried not to let it dampen the courage he was building up. He had just been a small child, he hadn’t even known what he had seen.
“I plucked up the courage to return, but no one was there. I thought perhaps it was a dream... “ Ferdinand said honestly, blinking as he recalled the memory, slowly turning to face Dorothea again. He silently urged her to believe him, to trust his words. He hadn’t meant for her to feel hurt by his actions, truly he had just been a strange child who was unused to such situations.
Dorothea was silent for a while, thinking over what he said. She bit her lip as she tried to decide whether to believe him or not.
“Maybe I can believe you.” Dorothea finally said. “I've wanted to ever since the day you made me those treats…” She let out a soft chuckle as she remembered their exchange. “I thought then that maybe you weren't like the others, but… I couldn’t bring myself to hope. And to lose that hope again.” She spoke softly, looking at her hands in her lap.
Ferdinand’s heart beat faster, as he realized what he was about to do. In one swift motion, he was both standing up and grabbing Dorothea’s hands in his, pulling her up with him. She looked shocked at his quick movements, her eyes darting from his hands to his eyes.
Ferdinand held her hands tightly in his, standing close. He was surprised as his worry started to fade, holding Dorothea’s hands in his made the world seem right. As long as she was near him, he felt he could do anything. Be anything she needed him to be. Although he was blushing furiously the words flowed as easily as pouring tea.
“Dorothea I love you. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You are strong on the battlefield, and without you, I would not still be here. You have grown and changed and adapted and I hope someday I can be half the person you are.” Ferdinand said earnestly. His golden eyes filled with honesty and emotion. He didn’t care if she didn’t feel the same way. He wanted her to know this.
“I am so lucky to have met you. If I could go back in time I would not have run, I would have stayed. I would like to stay with you now if you will let me.” He asked tentatively. He’s careful of how hard he’s grabbing her hands, making sure it’s strong enough to convey the seriousness of his words but loose enough to make sure she knows she can pull away at any time.
“I would never let a noble mistreat you again. I could offer protection whenever you may need it. You would never have to worry about where you will stay at night because you will always have a place in my arms. Since the day I met you, I have been hypnotized by you. We can hope together, dream together.” Ferdinand finished. His ears burned and his mouth formed a thin, desperate line. His eyes were earnest, the words he had spoken coming from nothing but a place of honesty and love.
Dorothea was amazing, he wanted her to know that. He wanted her to feel safe with him, to never have to worry again. She had done far too much of that already, more than someone as spectacular as she ever should have.
Dorothea’s face was slightly flushed as she stood in silence. She blinked a few times as if trying to comprehend everything Ferdinand had just said. Her lips quivered, a smile trying to break out onto her face. She let out a surprising burst of laughter.
“Okay.” She said with another small laugh. “That sounds nice,” Dorothea said, smiling up at Ferdinand. Relief washed over the man, and he returned her bright smile as he pulled her close. He enclosed her in his arms, hugging her delicately, one hand on the small of her back and the other behind her shoulder. Having her close like this felt right. He had known it for a long time, she was the one for him. She was his perfect pair, she was everything he wasn’t and more.
After a moment Dorothea pulled back, and Ferdinand complied, releasing her. “You know, I do not mind you thinking of me as a bee. Life as a simple drone, circling a queen... It actually sounds quite wonderful.” Ferdinand said with a smile. He pushed a lock of Dorothea’s hair aside, tucking it delicately behind her ear.
Before he could say anything else Dorothea was standing on her tip-toes, kissing him. Ferdinand instantly melted into her touch, and he carefully wrapped his arm around her back. His other hand rested in the nap of her neck. He leaned down over her, dipping her slightly. His hair cascaded down, framing their faces together. She was warm against him, and he savored every moment they were together. How long he had waited for this moment even he didn’t know. His hand tentatively crept into her hair, running his fingers through it once or twice, sending shivers down her spine.
Dorothea was the first one to pull away, breathing ragged, hands resting on Ferdinand’s chest. He carefully brought her back up and untangled his hand from her hair, but replaced it by taking one of her hands and kissing her knuckles. She giggled happily at the action.
“Don't drones keep the queen safe from other bugs? I like the sound of that.” She laughed, green eyes sparkling with joy.