Chapter Text
It all started when Gulf was 18, Mew was 20 at the time.
They knew each other for some time then already, they went to the same college, and before to the same high school, even tho they were never in the same classes due to their ages differences, they knew people in common.
Gulf was dating one of Mew’s best friends, Mew dated a guy Gulf from his class.
Mew broke up after a few months, he was the type that when he realized someone wasn’t meant for him he would break up almost immediately but Gulf didn’t, for at least 2 years.
Gulf wasn’t the type to date someone lightly, he believed that when you find someone you like enough to officially date, you commit to them.
They were cordial with each other most of the time. They always saw each other at the cafe in front of their school.
Sometimes they’d bicker and joke a lot, they had specific nicknames for each other only used by them.
“Good morning, wolverine!” Gulf said while arriving at said cafe, already pretty late for his class.
Gulf wasn’t a very studious person, unlike Mew. It always made people wonder around them how two stark different people would be able to even form a friendship.
“Why are you calling him that?” Mild, Gulf’s best friend since diapers asked.
“Oh, it’s because of his last haircut; look at it! He looks like a wolverine.” They both laughed while Mew just sat there unimpressed at the younger’s antics, he was already used to them.
He didn’t mind them a bit. Gulf was a cute one, he let him get away with almost everything.
Even though they were most of the time bickering with each other, they could be nice too.
On Gulf’s 21st birthday they both sat at the cafe, drinking some coffee before going to two completely different exams, Mew suddenly bought a small chocolate cake.
“Mew Suppasit, it’s 7:30 in the fucking morning, it’s way too early for you to be eating a cake,” Gulf said laughing.
“It’s not for me, actually, you dumbass.” He said as he grabbed a candle from his bag, put it on top of it, light it up, and started singing.
“Happy birthday to you...”
And Gulf, after being 2 weeks stressed at home studying for this goddamned exam, all that was happening in his life and no words from his boyfriend for the same 2 weeks, started crying.
Sobbing in fact.
“Gulf, are you crying?” Mew panicked, going straight up in his face to try to make him stop.
“I’m fine, I’m just a little stressed and I wasn’t expecting a nice surprise.” Gulf tried to dismiss it.
He didn’t want Mew to feel sorry for him.
Mew wasn’t dumb, he could see right through him. Gulf was an open book for Mew.
“It’s your birthday, I couldn’t just let it go unnoticed, exam day or not.”
He wiped his tears with his sweater. They both looked like a mess to anyone who’s probably saw them, 2 broke students with the smallest cake you could find, one sitting, the other kneeling and wiping his friend’s tears with his clothes.
But most of the people that saw them just smiled. They knew there was love involved, even if both of them didn’t realize it yet.
“You know that you can talk to me, right? He might be one of my best friends but I’ve known you for a long time too. I care about you too.”
Gulf smiled then, realizing he found a friend, a really good friend. Even if everything else was shitty.
“I know. Don’t worry, if I need it I’ll talk to you. Let’s blow the candle and eat the cake.”
“Nong, it’s the size of the palm of my hand, we can’t share it.” Mew sat down on his seat then and giggled.
“Hey, one bite for me and one for you. Sharing is caring.”
This was one of his favorite memories from their friendship. No matter how many years would pass to Gulf, whenever he was feeling shitty again, he remembered that day.
He could never forget it, it was the start of their friendship, that little chocolate cake.
From then on they would go out together along with their friends, they connected most of them into a single group, partying together, spending time at each other houses, playing a game or watching movies, they all suddenly became like family. And they called themselves that.
Gulf’s boyfriend barely went out with them, claiming that
for the parties, he would rather, and I quote: ’Choke on my own piss than mingle around sweaty people try to get it on but go with your friends' babe. I’ll just stay home chilling.’
“They’re your friends and Mew’s. I’m not that kind of guy to be hanging with a lot of people. I like to be home better.” It was funny how he made a family with Mew and not his own boyfriend. Most times he thought about what this meant for his future. Gulf always having fun and his boyfriend is never present.
“It’s just frustrating, you know?” Gulf ranted to Mew while they were smoking outside the bar one night, having a break from all the dancing and singing.
“He never wants to do anything with me. I know he doesn’t drink but we don’t even drink when we go out! We are all broke as fuck! We drink a Pepsi or water and that’s it! Literally, the whole 2 years of our relationship whenever we are together, we are stuck in my room. I don’t even visit his house cause his parents don’t like me that much.”
“Wait, what? Why wouldn’t they like you?” Mew looks at him.
“I’m not sure,” Gulf took a puff from his mostly forgotten cigarette, Mew light another one.
“Once he said that I’m the type of guy someone likes to date but not introduce to their parents, I guess.”
As soon as Gulf said those exact words, he saw Mew go completely still. He looked like he was in complete utter shock.
Gulf felt the exact same way when he first heard it but he kept quiet, Mew was still one of his boyfriend’s best friends.
Suddenly he spoke, in a very calm and demanding voice, scaring Gulf a little bit if he was honest. Not of what he would do to himself, he knew that he wouldn’t, but maybe to his own boyfriend.
“Repeat that to me again with a full story of exactly what he said to you.”
Gulf couldn’t even hear the music that he should be hearing coming from the bar.
“Phi, it’s not that serious.”
Mew looked at him incredulously.
“For real, you know how he is. He says that kind of things sometimes cause he’s an asshole but he cares about me.”
Mew laughed suddenly, finally looking somewhere down the street instead of staring at Gulf with that intense stare he had, making him feel jittery because of it.
“He surely does a piss poor job at showing it.”
Mew finally said, still not looking at him.
One of the most uncomfortable silences of their lives came after that statement. Both of them knew it was the absolute truth but also knew that Gulf couldn’t break up with him, at least not yet, Gulf truly gave his best at his relationships.
He looked at his cigarette, it was unlit again.
He threw it away at the same time Mew finished his and just both decided with no verbal communication needed that they were going back to their friends and keep having a great night, and so they did.
They lived near each other on campus, so they always walked home together while their friends would separate from them to go to their respective dorms.
Mew would always drop him first, no matter how many times Gulf argued.
“I’m just not a child Phi, I can go by myself to my room. It’s literally a 5-minute walk from your own building.”
“Just let me take you, I really don’t want to go to my room yet.”
“Why?”
“I just feel like getting some air after all that smoke we inhaled at the bar.”
Mew would always say, even if it showed clearly on his face that he was tired and would be rather be sleeping as soon as possible. Gulf smiled every single time.
“Thanks, Phi.”
Gulf woke up on a Saturday to yet another text message from his boyfriend saying he couldn’t show up, that his father had asked his help.
He finally decided he had enough of the bullshit that was happening in his relationship.
Before, it was his boyfriend’s mother asking for some help. Even before that he was just too busy studying for his upcoming exams to even see him for 10 minutes.
Saturday was the only day they had to be with each other because of all the reasons already stated. He was just too “busy” to be with Gulf.
So, he got out of his bed at 10 am, sat down in his secretary with a coffee, and breathed slowly.
‘Make time. We have to have a conversation today.’ He sent back and started all his work that was left behind those past weeks.
After some time he finally answered that he would be there in 10 minutes which left Gulf a little perplexed since he was so dead set on not meeting someone he was supposed to love for the last 2 years.
It was a clean breakup, Gulf barely even cried.
He was just done with the whole situation and just wanted to go back to his bed asleep for a whole day. He knew for over a year that his boyfriend never even loved him and just appreciated his looks and his body.
He never even mentioned it, he saw no point in doing that. He just wanted him to be gone from his life.
His now ex-boyfriend barely even tried to change Gulf’s mind. Both knew their relationship would go nowhere if you can call it a relationship even.
Two years of just meeting on Saturdays for a quick fuck and sometimes a movie wasn’t very coupley-like.
He was gone as fast as he came (no pun intended, children) and Mew was calling his phone while laying down on his bed.
‘Wassup little sunflower, you good? I think it’s today that your exam results come out, right? Did you do good?’ It said, from Mew. He sighed.
Would Mew be gone from his life now that he was no longer dating his friend? He really hoped not.
And he wasn’t gone, actually, quite the opposite from being gone.
“P’Mew, you don’t have to stop being friends with him just because of me. You’ve been friends since forever.”
Gulf was at his doorstep the moment he found out from Tong that Mew cut all ties he had with his ex.
“Nong, there is no way that I’d stay friends with someone that is telling everyone that wants to listen about how your sex life was. Even if we are close. That’s not right.”
“But-“
“No buts, Kanawut. Even if you weren’t my friend I would still cut him off but you are. You are and I’m not being friends with someone who has that type of attitude.”
Gulf sighed of relief for one, he knew he shouldn’t expect Mew to stay on his side but he got so attached to his companionship that he really didn’t want to cut ties.
Also, his ex-boyfriend was an ass. Mew was right.
Their dynamic barely changed even if they were both single for a while, they still went out together, still went home together, and met at the cafe during classes.
Had lunch now and then, dinner too.
Met each other families during summer vacation, Mew’s mother hugged Gulf so many times when she met him that Mew just stood by the door and watched, smiling at how his mother just like him, became rapidly attached to Gulf.
Gulf met his dog, Chopper.
Now that little devil was a difficult one to win over. Eventually, Gulf was able to, especially after protecting him from his Daddy who was being a big meanie just because Chopper was trying to get a piece of their food.
“Gulf, you can’t raise a child like this. He’ll get spoiled and then he won’t eat his own food.” Mew told him.
“Just let him be, you only live once.”
Mew’s mother just observed them from a distance.
She never commented her thoughts about whoever Mew brought home, friend or not, but she kept smiling the whole time she saw those two talking. They looked meant to be. She was certain that they were.
A mother always knew even if her kid didn’t.
It was obvious to anyone around them that they were dancing around each other very carefully.
The way they looked at each other, the smiles that were reserved only for each other.
They spoke most days, all day. They were together before going to class and after leaving class. They spent some weekends just playing games. Go out with friends, come back to the whoever dorm they choose, and sleep there.
It was obvious to anyone who had eyes know them personally or not, it was obvious to every single person that saw them even if it was only a glimpse, everyone understood what was happening except Gulf.
Which explains the complete utter disbelief on his face as he heard Mew say, one night when they were at a children’s park on the swing staring at the night sky, after having a cheap dinner of spicy noodles:
“I think I like you.”
Mew said as easily as one would say that the weather was nice. He kept swinging with no care in the world while Gulf just stared at him like he just grew two heads.
“Don’t freak out, Nong. I’m not asking you to marry me...” He smirked at him, the little shit.
Gulf had his mouth completely open and his eyes were hurting by staring so hard at Mew.
“I’m just asking you to give me a chance.”
Gulf never even thought of Mew that way.
“I never even thought of you that way.” Or had he?
“I know. Maybe you could try now.”
He felt afraid.
“What if we try and then break up? I don’t wanna lose you.” What he actually meant to say was: ’I can’t lose you, you already mean so much to me’ but he was always too scared to say the absolute truth.
“Then, we have to make sure we don’t break up.”
“What if we do?”
Gulf was terrified.
“I won’t leave your life even if we do.”
Gulf didn’t say yes right away, he asked Mew if they could slowly ease into what maybe could be a relationship.
Not much changed for them, only that they held hands almost every day and kissed each other.
It was a nice change, amazing even.
Gulf never kissed such soft lips like Mew’s, he was getting a little addicted. He knew how hurt he’d be if this went wrong, how much damage this would cost his little heart.
They still weren’t dating or even had any kind of sex, showing Gulf just how serious Mew was about him and the possibility of them staying together. He was doing exactly what Gulf asked: slow and steady.
When anyone asked, they were just friends.
Trying their best to be more but they couldn’t full-heartedly say they were a couple yet. Mild was basically over the moon he always said they would look amazing together, Mew’s ex that was Gulf’s friend congratulated them, he held no hard feelings, and Gulf’s ex, well, no one even spoke to him so they didn’t think it mattered if he got offended that they were together or not.
Mew and Gulf tried so hard to maintain the “easy-going, we’re not that serious yet” but no matter how much they tried to take it slow, it was already pretty intense.
Mostly because of all the feelings that were deepening at each passing day.
Falling in love with Mew Suppasit hit Gulf like a train, one that he was not expecting to be as hard and fast as it was.
And no matter how many years it had passed, he could still remember the exact moment he realized he was completely and utterly fucked.
They were driving back from the cinema and Gulf just looked at his almost lover as he drove them safely back to Gulf’s place. That was the moment.
They weren’t talking, there was chill music on the radio and Mew was humming to every single song that he heard. He looked exhausted as he just had started to work part-time while still studying. Mew said he wanted some extra money to buy a guitar, treat him to nicer dates than they had by then, maybe they could have a little trip soon.
That’s how he knew. He just did. That person next to him was the one person he always looked for and he had been in front of him for a long time, he just didn’t see it.
“What are you smiling about?” Mew said when took a quick glimpse at him.
“I was just thinking of how you haven’t asked me to be your boyfriend yet.”
Mew giggles, what a beautiful sound that was for Gulf.
“You’ve said that you wanted to take it slow.” Mew was still smiling. Gulf was really fucked.
“Well, it’s been 3 months now. I’d say it took long enough.” He pouted.
The day they became officially boyfriends was also another day Gulf could never forget. It started the worst way possible: in an argument.
Gulf was back at this family’s house and he was so not having his mother’s attitude. Even if she was right.
“But mom, you can’t just ruin my date like this.” Gulf is not one to yell and everyone knew he hated loud noises so even when arguing with his own mother he would still keep an even tone.
“Gulf, you’re barely at home anymore. You can meet Mew another day I’m sure he won’t be mad.”
But he was not having it, so they kept arguing. They argued for half a day until his mother just sighed and told him, if it was that important for him to meet up with Mew that day, then be it.
He got out of his house ready to find Mew but he never went to the café from his family’s house
Then he got a little lost. He tried to call Mew but he was busy driving to meet where they said they would, he didn’t pick up.
He remembered he could just search for the address of the cafe on his phone, but when tried to do it… He dropped his phone. He looked at his phone. It was completely broken.
“Fucking hell, now what do I do?” He asked no one in particular while he walked the streets of Bangkok looking for the exact place they spoke of.
He just couldn’t remember where it was, he wasn’t very good with directions, even if he went to the same places for years, he would still be a little confused of where he was.
Mew always begged him to pay attention to the road even though he didn’t have a drivers license yet.
“What if one day you get lost? You have to make sure you know where to go even then.” Mew would always say.
“You’ll just find me, dummy. And I have my phone too.” Gulf didn’t even look from his lunch at the cafeteria, they had this conversation almost all the time.
“What if I don’t find you? What if you lose your phone?” Mew pouted at him, always imagining the worst possible scenario.
Gulf looked up from his food, looked straight at Mew’s eyes, and said, “I’ll just keep wondering until you do.”
Gulf slapped himself in the face. This was Mew’s worst nightmare and he was going to be worried sick when he realized that he couldn’t find Gulf AND his phone was turned off.
So he walked and walked, trying his best to remember where he was supposed to go.
It took him a long time to even start recognizing a path, he wasn’t even sure how long it took him to finally find the little cafe he tried so hard to find.
As soon as he reached the front of the cafe what he feared the most came true as he saw Mew trying his damned best to not sob while talking to Gulf’s mother on the phone.
“I don’t know what to do, Auntie. I know he is a grown man but it’s been more than half an hour and he’s still not here, his phone is off. What if something happened?”
Mew looked like he was close to just start running and search for him everywhere, like every single part of Earth would be searched as long as he didn’t find him.
He understood why he felt like crying, looking at the kind of love he’d always searched for, made him feel like he could cry of happiness.
He shook his head and walked as fast as he could so Mew could finally see him.
He stopped right in front of him finally and that’s when Mew started crying, Gulf just held him through it all, saying how sorry he was that he scared the elder.
“I was so afraid that maybe something happened-“
“I’m sorry, baby.”
Gulf just hugged him tired, feeling deeply sorry for what happened, even if it was just an unlucky day.
“Please, please don’t disappear like that again. What will I do-“
“Phi, date me.” Gulf just blurted out.
“What would I do- wait, what?” Mew finally stopped sobbing and stared at his Nong.
“Be my boyfriend.”
“W-wait, I was supposed to ask you that myself. Wait, I’m still crying and I look ugly as hell, I need to clean my face.”
Mew tried to disentangle himself from Gulf’s grip, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, it was supposed to be romantic and life-changing.
In Gulf’s eyes, it was already exactly like that. He held on to Mew making sure he wouldn’t get away, cleaning away his tears and snot with his sweater, not giving two shits about it.
“It’s fine, we’re fine. Please be my boyfriend.” He smiled gently looking at who he was certain was the love of his life. Mew finally smiled, sighed, and just gave in.
“Baby...” and they kissed. It was still the same feeling for both of them, it felt right. Just like arriving home after a long day.
They laughed afterward because Mew’s face was all messy but it was worth it, getting lost was worth it, dating the wrong person before was worth it. Every single little thing, every twist, and turn of fate, just brought them there exactly where they were.
Once again, everyone that passed through them could see two very mess boys and the love they shared towards each other.
Two idiots in love kissing, grinning at each other, understanding how lucky they were that they found the one, standing right in front of a little cafe called ‘The Sunflower and his Sun’.
It’s funny how life finds you, one moment you’re lost and can’t seem to find where you want to go and the next, you’re right in front of the person that was meant to be for you.
Gulf never really believed in destiny before meeting Mew.
That cafe was from then on their date spot whenever they felt like they needed to escape from real life.
Life was exhausting, they were barely adults and it was already as hard as it can get.
They promised they wouldn’t let each other drown in ‘what-ifs’ like ‘what if we don’t get a job after finishing school’ they simply tried their best to live each day without thinking too much about it.
What was the point in being sad about the huge money issues Gulf’s family had? Would it change his reality?
Why would they lose their time being sad about the kind of broken relationship Mew had with most of his family? Would it change anything?
It didn’t.
So they just tried to forget about it. They would go on dates, small ones most of them, spend most of their time together.
And it was all they could’ve ever asked for, for a while. Sooner or later their own personal issues would get them and they knew it.
Even though they both ignored it, it was always in the back of their head, especially Gulf.
Money issues are so hard to ignore, everything or almost everything in your life revolves around money.
Go out, buy a coffee? Not such an easy thing for Gulf. What if he needed that spare change to buy something his family need back at home?
Maybe bread, maybe some soup.
Mew always knew and he did his best to help in what he could.
The only reason why Mew didn’t help more than he already did was that Gulf never let him.
“Babe, it’s only pizza. It’s not even that expensive.” Mew heard Gulf’s sister talking about how she missed eating pizza.
“It’s still your money. Why would you spend it on us?” Gulf hated that he needed help from his boyfriend to buy a simple pizza for his sister. Absolutely hated it.
“C’mon. It doesn’t matter that much to me.”
Gulf just smiled, kissed his cheek, and let him do as he wanted. He knew that Mew only had good intentions, he didn’t mean to make him feel worse.
Mew was an angel that landed on his life randomly.
He got along with every single member of his family. He brought gifts for his grandparents, visited them randomly without even telling him sometimes, drank some tea with them.
Had some conversations which were already inside jokes with his sister, he had no idea how they even started being friends with each other.
His parents loved him like he was one of their own and Gulf even joke his parents liked Mew more than they liked him, always bringing a basket full of goodies when he visited them.
Mew hated when they thanked him, he always said he wasn’t doing less than he should as someone who was dating their son.
He was always available when Gulf needed him. Even if he was working he would get to him as soon as possible if he needed.
Like the one time, Gulf had gastritis so intense he stayed the whole night in the hospital, his mother screaming at anyone she could find because no one was even looking at him in the eyes, less giving him the treatment that he desperately needed.
As soon as Mew woke up randomly at 5 am to go to the toilet and saw the messages from Gulf, he almost had a panic attack.
He drove at least 200km/h for how fast he got to Gulf, he had to. It was impossible to get that fast to him any other way. He was not wasting one second to get next to his boyfriend.
Gulf barely remembers anything, one moment Mew was next to him giving him a kiss on his forehead and saying ‘Everything will be okay, sunflower’ the next he was gone. All he could hear was screams.
“So you’re telling him he was sitting in that uncomfortable chair for 4 hours already without any medication whatsoever? He even has a freaking fever! What kind of doctors are you? How could you let your patient suffer like this by himself?”
He wanted to laugh, it was so typical of his boyfriend to do something like this.
Mew was a really pleasant person.
Whenever anyone made a mistake around him either be serving him at a restaurant or anywhere else really, he would just smile and say it’s okay.
As soon as it came to him or to anyone he loved, he would go berserk. He took no shit when it came to the people he cared about.
Especially if it was in a hospital.
There was no way he would accept the fact that his boyfriend was waiting 4 hours without any treatment. It wasn’t weird for him to wait even longer in a hospital but not on Mew Suppasit’s watch. Never.
Next, he felt his boyfriend grabbing him in his arms and carry him somewhere while talking to someone, maybe a nurse, he couldn’t understand most of it. He was so tired. He felt his boyfriend putting him in a bed carefully.
He felt someone grabbing his arm, he felt a needle on his skin and he finally fell asleep for a while.
“Rest my love, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Gulf wasn’t even sure when it happened but he woke up back in his bed, he didn’t even know what time it was.
Looked around him and saw his superhero-like of a boyfriend, sitting on the floor asleep holding his hand.
He didn’t even make a sound, probably never left his side since he brought them home. He probably carried him everywhere until they reached home. Drove as carefully has he could. That was the kind of person Mew was. Still is, in the present.
But that’s not something past Gulf needs to know yet.
As soon as he moved a single finger Mew woke up with a jolt.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?”
“I’m okay. What about your job?”
“It’s fine. I called them explaining.” Mew brushed Gulf’s hair off his eyes gently.
“Lay next to me.” Gulf smiled gently at him.
“No baby, you need space to sleep comfortably.”
“Believe me Mr. Mew Suppasit, your baby will sleep so much better if he has you by his side in bed.” So he got in.
You can believe Gulf when he says that he felt like death that day he was sick as hell, barely slept the entire night but damn it was the best sleep he had in his life.
Laying there, feeling protected by Mew surrounded by all his love and warmth.
One day, a little before Gulf’s graduation, while he was sending his CV to several ads, he saw one that got him curious.
It was one for a cabin crew position. Looking for someone tall (check), spoke English with certain fluency (well, check), fit to enough to be able to open doors and swim more than 25 meters (for sure, check), and ready for an adventurous life (more than check).
And oh, it was to be based overseas. He would have to live in the United States.
He immediately closed the tab.
There was no way he could ever even try to get this job, no way.
“But it’s exactly the kind of solution you need to help your family.” He said out loud, staring at his wall.
“That also means that your relationship will most likely fail.”
He really couldn’t even dream about it. He had no idea it would have to become a reality.
His father lost his job suddenly, making the situation that was already as awful as it was, 3 times worse.
He caught his mother crying at night, trying to hide her tears from her children, terrified of what the future held for them both as a family. Gulf had to do something for his family, he was an adult now. He was 21 years old, he was graduating. He could help them.
So he spoke with his boyfriend about it.
Gulf felt a lump on his throat he was incapable of swallowing when he called Mew after his already exhausting day, he really didn’t want to add more to it but there was no other way.
He had to speak to him while he felt brave enough to do so. Which wasn’t that much.
Trembling from every single part of his body, he waited for Mew’s car to arrive in his driveway and when he did, he hyped himself out.
Gulf knew his boyfriend would never lash out at him, especially in this kind of subject. He was a very reasonable, logical type of man. A romantic, but logical. He would understand, maybe they could even work this out.
He prayed.
It was funny how deeply Mew knew Gulf that from one single look. He entered his car and sat down for one second and he knew instantly something was wrong.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
And Gulf, feeling all of the burden on his back, the feeling of ‘I need to save us, I have to do it’ by abandoning his own home country, started sobbing.
He felt like he couldn’t even breathe, he just opened his mouth and told Mew everything he knew, everything he felt. From how desperate their family is to how he good he felt when he saw the opportunity to do a job many people wished for, dreamed about.
All of his insecurities of how afraid he was of losing him but also afraid of losing the opportunity of a lifetime to change his and his family's future.
Mew didn’t even speak, he just held him and listened to him intently, he didn’t scream, he didn’t even say no once. He just said one single thing:
“If this is what you want and have to do, you have my full support.”
That’s all Mew said.
No matter how many years had passed, Gulf always looked back on this single moment whenever he was anxious, whenever he had made a decision, whenever he was sad.
“You have my full support.”
It was such an amazing feeling, having that support. To feel understood. To feel like he wasn’t alone in the world, someone had his back.
He wished that feeling never left him.
Feeling confident and like he was capable of doing everything he put his mind up to, he applied to the job.
He got ready for his interview, read and re-read all of the info he found online about the airline, all of that with Mew by his side helping him.
Looking back to those days now he realized how unhappy Mew truly looked, helping him prepare to leave the country, to leave him.
Mew never once told him to stay, never showed him a single tear fall, never lost the smile on his face when he saw him but he knew.
He knew now that it was the hardest thing he would have to do for a long while, to not even try to make Gulf stay, to just let him go.
The person he thought that he was so lucky to find so young was leaving him and he couldn’t even say he was sad about it or he was afraid Gulf would just give up from the idea.
From a brilliant future, discovering the whole world without a single problem on his mind.
Mew promised himself he would never tie Gulf down to him if he ever wanted to leave.
He always made sure Gulf knew how amazing he was, how far he could fly one day, that studying wasn’t everything in this whole world. He had this charm that could sweep anyone off their feet.
He had the potential for much more and he felt curious about the whole world.
Mew swallowed his tears for when he was alone at night, wondering how he could live without him.
His sunflower.
Gulf left on a September morning a day after he graduated his cabin crew course to New York and he was sobbing.
He had been sobbing the whole night, he barely even slept. No matter how much he hugged Mew during the night, he still felt like it wasn’t enough.
He didn’t have enough time with him.
Everyone he loved was at the airport with him, his family, his friends, and his love. Even his dog was present to kiss him goodbye. He saw everyone cry, except Mew, who was smiling the whole time.
It gave him comfort, it made his soul feel peaceful that at least Mew wasn’t in pain and they would be able to make this work.
At first it was hard, damn how hard it was.
He was still looking for an apartment, living with his little savings on any hostel he could find, desperately hoping someone would be kind enough to rent their place to him before he got his first salary. Jumping from place to place with his 5 big bags was one of the funniest things and hardest things he’d done in his life.
Most of the time he wasn’t very disheartened tho, everything he was living now was part of a learning experience. Part of all the stories later he would tell his kids in the future.
That he did everything, all on his own. Needed no one to help or support him, he paid for everything he owned.
One day he would buy a house even, he thought about it all the time, it was his primary dream.
One little apartment, he didn’t need something too spacious. He was a simple person.
He wanted a place that he could call his own and his children’s father. Mew.
That was his plan, at least.
His English was always decent and he had passed the interview, did the cabin crew course just fine but still living in a different country where people only spoke English wasn’t easy.
All he did was wake up, search for a place to live, search for any kind of food he’d actually like, and work.
No matter how hard he tried to message anyone he felt absolutely exhausted and had no energy most of his off days as they were spent looking for a decent place.
Gulf finally found an apartment around a month or so later and he couldn’t be happier to be living under a roof he could call his own, something he was definitely paying now, learn to cook the simplest things.
He thought it was waste of time before, Mew would cook for them.
New York was getting colder by then, colder than Thailand ever was.
It was all extremely different from where he was from, he knew absolutely no one yet. He barely met any of his colleagues.
Most people around him had someone to come home to, which Gulf would normally not mind, as he had someone at home to wait for him as well.
Slowly he felt like he was living a decent life. Traveling all around the world definitely helped to see the bright side of this new chapter.
After 3 months his family was doing so much better as for one they didn’t have to worry about Gulf anymore as he was working now and paying for his own things, plus he was sending money back home and his father got a job.
Everything was looking brighter. He didn’t realize that his boyfriend was definitely not feeling as bright as he was.
He was young and naive, he thought his love was one of a kind.
Even though he missed Mew like crazy, he felt so excited on his adventure that he completely neglected his boyfriend.
He never even realize that the distance, the different time schedules, and time zones, how busy he would be at the beginning of his career so much that he barely ever went home for the first 6 months, would break them until it was already too late.
The best they could do was whenever they woke up they would text ‘Good morning’ to each other and when night came they made sure to text ‘Good night, I love you’.
One day when he was finally resting from a busy week, Mew FaceTimed him and asked how he was, how his week was. All he normally asked after not talking to Gulf for so long.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary besides the same old feeling that time would go by them and Gulf wouldn’t be able to ask for a transfer back home.
He almost forgot how big that problem was with Mew.
Mew would never be able to leave everything and come to New York with him and Gulf wouldn’t be able to leave New York that soon. It meant that their relationship was stuck in place.
Gulf was working all the time, Mew was as well.
“I need to talk to you.”
He instantly knew what it was but still silently just hoped it wasn’t and nodded.
“I’m gonna do what I know you’re not capable of. What I feel like is the right decision.”
Gulf couldn’t even see his boyfriend’s eyes properly, he was just staring at the floor and he hated it.
“Let’s break up.”