Work Text:
[Bismarck]
342/DIB
The Historian unlocked his tablet and swiped towards the app he used to take notes, then smiled and looked at Bismarck, sitting in a comfortable chair right in front of him. They were in one of the spaces of the Victory which could be used to hold meetings, several of these rooms were in a long line along the corridor. The Victory had been laid out to accommodate several nations at once, and the commanding persons from all nations would have to communicate with each other in some way. So, he had reserved this room for his interviews with all of the shipgirls, the legends of the past.
He took a breath, then grabbed the pencil and looked Bismarck into the eyes, leaning back.
“I again thank you that you were willing to give me a bit of your time.“,
Bismarck smiled and gestured to the side.
“Nothing which would make me happier.“, she said, smiling sweetly. She wore the uniform of the Administration with the flag of Germany on the shoulders. He wore only civilian clothes, but he still fit into the appearance of the crew. Not that he looked that much similar.
“Now, shall I go ahead with my first question?“, he asked.
“I’m ready.”
“Alright. Now, there are many conspiracies surrounding you and your ship, but there is always one aspect missing. Most of the historians, myself included, can only portray your story from the outside, pulling information from reports and interviews of survivors from your crew. But there isn’t a single chance where we could talk with someone from the ship in command, all of them went down with it. So, what is your view on the entire thematic? How would you portray your story?“,
Bismarck took a deep breath, looking to the side for a second. The first question and already such a heavy one.
“I for myself would portray the whole chain of events as a big… tragedy. And that on all sides. I think that this mission showed how pointless that war really was. How many things we have lost…“, she said, her voice getting bitter towards the end.
“Was that always your perception? Or did it change after you… went back up again?“, he asked, making her think for even a few more seconds.
“When I departed with Prinz Eugen, I was eager to show my power to the Chancellor, to prove him that I was worthy as a flagship. I remember how my blood boiled when I saw the British ships on the horizon, when they opened fire. I was eager to fight. Excitation blinded me. I didn’t think about the consequences. Hood was one the oldest shipgirls at this time - she had been coupled in 1918. More than 20 years of experience when I was just a newbie. She was feared as much as she was respected in the Kriegsmarine. I saw her with Prince of Wales as enemies and therefore sunk. There was no time to think. I was glad to finally measure myself to them, to shoot them into pieces. But then…“
She stopped for a few seconds.
“Then I saw her exploding. That so beautiful and strong ship, crumbled like paper. I still remember that bow… that last piece still standing in the water. Like this.“, she said, showing him the position of the bow with her upper arm, standing straight upwards.
“I knew that there would be no survivors. I didn’t realize it at that moment, it came at night. No, my first thought when I saw Hood exploding was glee and disappointment. The Mighty Hood had been sunk in just a matter of minutes, whilst I was prepared for a battle of attrition. Then I saw Prince of Wales retreating. I wanted to finish her off, but battle damage prevented me from doing that. It’s only when the adrenaline disappeared and I was patching myself up at the medical bay that I realised that I did more than sinking a ship. I had killed almost 1500 men. Men with families. We shipgirls don’t have families, the huge majority of us were orphans. I was there alone with my thoughts, the hellish scream of the ammunition detonating in my head. I will never forget that sound I could hear over the hydrophone.”
“Some say that a ship has feelings, that it is just like a person. And whilst the Hood sank, I could hear the hull screaming in agony. Together with the thousand men it took with it. So many brave men.“, she said, her face twitching in emotions. The historian let her take her time to vent, he saw what emotional stress she was in. The feelings of the war were still in her.
“I hoped that at least a few sailors had survived, that they could somehow return to their families. I had made a mistake, and that would never change. As long as I am alive, there will always be that memory in my mind. And I will never forget that.“, she said, looking him right into the eyes once more.
He swallowed and nodded, taking a few notes on his tablet. It took him a few seconds, then he swallowed once more, asking the next question.
“Is there anything which you would change? Anything which you would avoid?“
“Oh, there is. As strange as it sounds, I would try to miss. Not the ship, but the magazine. I would try to cripple her. Rudder, engine room… to leave her dead in the water so I could escape with my crew. Hood was the Royal Navy’s pride. The fact that she was sunk so quickly and not in a ‘fair fight’ was the reason why an entire armada was dispatched to deal with me. If that one shell hadn’t hit her, then many men would have survived. More men than most people think. Not only on her ship, but on my own as well. That shell back then had been the start of something horrible, something which I couldn’t think of in the moment it happened. But once I saw the numbers, I felt terrible. And even now, I hate to believe that I was the cause of the loss of so many good men. No matter their beliefs and nationality. A loss is a loss.“, she said, her eyes escaping to the side, trying to get at least a bit of distance.
“I can see that you regret what you have done back then, what your actions were.“
“Of course I do. I am lucky that I am not held responsible for that. After all, I caused nearly 3000 deaths. So many good men which could have fought bravely. But I decided otherwise and sealed their fates.“
“And would it be better if you would be held accountable?“
“That is a tough question. Hamburg and Prinz Eugen can be held that way, but I can't due to some reason. I don’t know why they are refusing to tell me. But I think that Command thinks that living with my memories is enough suffering, they don’t have to lock me in for the rest of my life.“, she said, shaking her head.
She had heard many stories from the old shipgirls, and yet no one wanted to tell her the truth. What Command had planned with her before she had been transferred to the Administration.
“There is a common conception in some nations that the shipgirls of the axis were like small puppies, that they only followed orders. Can you, as the flagship, support that thesis?“, he asked, wanting to move on.
He could tell that Bismarck had a soft spot for the losses of the war and he didn’t want to disturb her even more. She nodded, leaning back.
“I can. When I entered service as a shipgirl, I looked around and saw that Deutschland was still in training, even though she had been coupled to her ship already. And she was burning for the Chancellor. She praised every single word coming out of his mouth, she treated him like a god. But I for myself… I kept my distance. I wanted to separate myself from him, which was hard in a position like mine. In the end, I had to pretend.“
“And that would be?“
“That I didn’t know what happened. I only smiled and signed the papers, never questioned what happened. I thought that I would be better that way. I saw how men of my crew were taken away and never returned. I saw how many things happened which I wished were simply untrue.“
“There is the saying that the Kriegsmarine was the least supporting branch of the Chancellor. Is that also true?“
“Yes and no. There were several officers in the Kriegsmarine who had served in the Kaiserliche Marine and the Reichmarine who were opposed to his ideas. The Admiral who fought with me at Denmark Strait publicly protested with a few others against the treatment inflicted to the people the Chancellor deemed ‘undesirable’. And when the Chancellor showed up for a visit, he greeted him with the Marine’s salute, not the Ironblood’s salute.”
“I had officers - those who were younger - on my ship who idealised the Chancellor, who thought that he was a god, the saviour of the old Germany. Some of them even had his cross tattooed on their bodies, they were hailing him every single time they could, asking for seconds. But there were also many men who only needed a job and a way to help the Empire become stronger. Not many of the normal men actually supported him. And if they did, they hid it pretty well. But in the end, we fought in his name, we fought under his flag and to his command. We were not a single bit better than any of the praising men in his bunker. We were the same, only out on sea. And that is the thing which makes me sad. I fought for that man, even though I knew what was going on. I could tell you that I was just following orders, but I would be lying. I could have saved lives. I didn’t. I simply smiled and waved.“
“Did you change your view now?“
“Of course I did. There was one instance where I saw what dread he brought over the empire. Not the happy future which he had promised, but pure hell. Prinz Eugen took me to a memorial which was erected to honour the fallen of the two wars. And there I saw what the result was. So many ships have been sunk. And all of them under the hand of the chancellor. All of them under his command. And I only managed to make that situation worse. He promised us a happier future, a future where the empire would be strong, where the great war would be undone and peace would be eternal. But in the end… he brought only death and destruction.“, she said, getting quieter towards the end.
“What kind of advice would you give to new shipgirls?“, he asked, making her look up once more.
“Always look outside of the box. Look what is behind the things which command tells you, and have the guts to stay on your own course. Prinz Eugen did that, and she fared well with that. I have heard a few things about a new generation of shipgirls, and came to the conclusion that they are just as ignorant as we were back then. And a war like it happened back then on sea shall never return. Hell on earth once was already bad enough.“
“And is there anything that you would do again without thinking?“
“There is something. And that is to hold my ground. As long as I can help the majority, I would stay. Nothing is worse than feeling helpless whilst you are the only one who can change something. I was on the ground, only looking at the grey sky above me, filled with the smoke of my ship burning. I hated that feeling. If I could return in time, I would strike down the colors and surrender myself. If I can save my men, I would happily stand my ground once more. Even if it means giving my own life for that.“
“Even though you would leave people who are important to you back?“
“Even then. Because I failed, I brought all of the dear and close persons to me in danger. I failed to protect them. And when I know that they are happy, that they will be saved if I succeed, that gives me the strength to leave them. Because what is better? Staying to see how hell rises from the ground, killing everyone, or sacrificing yourself to forge a better world with your steps? That is a question which everyone has to make for themselves and only themselves. I would choose the latter.“, she said, making him stop for a few seconds, thinking.
“And if there would be a war coming now, would you be joining once more, well knowing that you could suffer the same fate?“, he asked, making her nod.
“History has the brilliant ability to repeat itself. Everything has happened once already. You only have to know when and what the outcome was. Now I know what my weak spot was, and I learned out of it. I learned to get through it. And if a war comes once more, I will be able to stand my ground and show everyone what a former flagship can do. That History does not have to be repeated, but can be changed.“