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“There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin”
“Shut up! I can’t hear anything!” Pitts quietly scolds Cameron as they try to focus. Todd leans closer to the glass he held against the wall, in hopes that this trick he saw in the movies wasn’t a myth.
“What are they saying?” Neil asks and Meeks looks at him in disbelief. “If you zip it, we’ll know!”
All 5 poets crowd at the wall, hoping to get an idea of the fight that broke out in the Dalton-Overstreet dorm room. From what they’ve gathered, Charlie was called by Nolan during lunch; everyone including the student himself, thought it was because of some stupid stunt Charlie pulled. (Neil was certain it was about a teacher seeing Charlie flip off a racist statue on campus). Charlie walked into Nolan’s office with a smug look plastered all over his face, knowing full well a few smacks with the paddle is the least of his worries.
A freshman, however, who was outside of Nolan’s office claims that he saw Charlie exit with the exact opposite expression. He was pale, aghast, speechless. Almost like he was about to puke then and there. And the poets would’ve believed that Charlie bit off more than he could chew until the student mentioned that he wasn’t limping.
As soon as he left Nolan’s office, he walked straight to his room, where Knox was waiting.
And the minute Neil and Todd started hearing shouting from the other side of their wall, the rest of the poets gathered at their room, hoping to get a glimpse into the conversation.
Any activity that lasts an hour is long.
Fighting, however, somehow made time speed up like a child on coffee.
Knox doesn’t even know how it started. All he remembers was Charlie coming in their room, hot.
And one thing led to another and suddenly they were both screaming about the stupidest things, about Knox’s messy side of the room or Charlie’s loud music; anything that wasn’t worth fighting over. And Knox realizes, in retrospect, that this was Charlie’s defense mechanism; a tactic just so he didn’t have to reveal that Nolan called him because he started hearing...rumors.
Rumors about two boys.
“We’re done.” Charlie says, with finality which makes Knox, who had his head in his hands, snap to look up at the other who looked like he wasn’t even, himself, convinced of what he just said.
“What?”
“They’re gonna call my parents and yours.” Charlie explains, trying to suppress any emotions but really looking like he was an inch away from crying. “It’s not looking too good for us, sweetheart so we might as well quit it while we’re ahead.” he adds, his humor turning sarcastic.
This has to be a nightmare for sure. Knox could feel the earth beneath him shake and disintegrate. He felt his stomach turn in various ways that made him feel nauseous. They were careful! How could they have known?
Knox stands to make a point. “Charlie, listen-“
“Knox, don’t-“
“-As far as the administration knows, they’re just rumors. Like how Stick from freshman year broke the window on Nolan’s car-“
“Breaking a window isn’t a sin, Knox!” Charlie shouts and Knox felt himself deflate as Charlie described their relationship, the most precious thing in Knox’s life, as a sin. A sin. Charlie was clearly upset even saying it.
“My parents are conservative catholics! The second they find this out, I might as well be dead!” While the sight of the other panicking was a pain to Knox, he couldn’t help but realize how unusual this was to him: Charlie was angry and hurt and...vulnerable. Charlie was never vulnerable. Maybe with love, but not with sadness, or anger. Charlie stares out the window, where the birds flew above them. Lucky bastards.
“Who were we kidding? This was never going to work...” Charlie muttered and Knox could feel the bitterness that Charlie was spewing now because he was upset.
He’s upset, Knox. He’s gonna say things he doesn’t mean.
“You don’t mean that.”
“It’s no use. We’re done” Charlie softly says before walking to the door to exit. Knox, quick on his feet, reached the door before him, successfully blocking Charlie’s escape.
“Out of my way, Overstreet!” Charlie shouts while trying to push the other away and while Charlie may be more muscular, Knox made up for it in height.
“Tell me” Knox demands.
“What?” Charlie looks up, visibly irritated.
“Tell me you want us done.”
“What the fuck are you-“
“Tell me that you’re breaking up with me because you hate me.”
Charlie stares at him in confusion. What is happening? But Knox keeps a surprisingly calm and firm stare on Charlie’s eyes.
“Because unless you don’t want me anymore, I’m not going anywhere.” Knox says with the same finality Charlie used to break them up. Charlie looks at him silently and could feel the tears brimming, wishing he really did hate him. Maybe it would be easier that way because God, why is this so hard?
Knox stares at a silent Charlie and he could feel the tension in the room weigh down.
“I told you I was in. I meant it.” Knox says, referring to their first night. And that broke the dam on Charlie because he loved that night. Not just because that was the first time they had mind-blowing sex, but because Charlie, for the first time in a long time, was genuinely happy. He loved Knox and loved the memories that came with him.
And like Charlie, Knox also could no longer able to contain his emotions and leans his forehead on the other’s and his hands cupping either side of Charlie’s face. His thumbs trying to wipe off any tears escaping Charlie’s eyes. “I have never...felt so sure about anything, Charl.” Knox says with a whisper so soft, Charlie almost missed it, and thank God he didn’t because the feeling was mutual; he knew this was special.
“I’m not giving this up. Carpe fucking diem” he says, making Charlie chuckle.
“Carpe fucking diem” Charlie repeats before crashing his lips on the other’s.