Chapter Text
For as long as he could remember, he’s mom insisted on dying his hair the same color as her own.
It’s not that it really bothered him, but the older he got, the more confused he was as to why he had to do it. Logically, he knew it was because his natural color reminded his mom of his absent father, but he still didn’t really get it.
Before he moved into Alliance Heights, his mother insisted that he had to bring his color depositing shampoo and conditioner with him to make sure it stayed the rich dark green color. When he was by himself in the steaming showers alone with his thoughts he’d stare down at the white bottles and wonder about what would happen if he just used different shampoo. The stuff didn’t smell that great and he was envious of the other students who used rich smelling shea butter shampoo or fruity strawberry. Kacchan used Odd Spice and while it was a bit too potent for himself, he still wished he could use something similar to brand himself with his own personal smell.
It started one day after the class decided to swim together.
Previously, he’d gone swimming right after showering and showered afterwards to make sure the deep green stayed in his hair but today he couldn’t find the energy to shower or even really do much. It was a bad day, but he knew seeing his friends would help.
(He still couldn’t believe he had friends. Friends! Him! Useless deku surrounded by people who respected him and loved him, who cared for him and supported him!)
(He tried to ignore the voices that told him that they wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for his quirk, that if they found out the truth, they’d be disgusted and leave him.)
So when he lazily slid into the pool and dunked his head under the warm waves he didn’t think about the fact that the chlorine from the pool water might interact with his color depositing shampoo and conditioner.
After about ten minutes of relaxing in the shallow part of the pool, just mostly floating there while his classmates screamed and yelled in excitement, jumping and slashing in the pool, he heard Kirishima address him.
“Dude! Do you dye your hair? That’s so manly.” He lifted his head out of the water and slowly sat upright in the water with his feet balancing against the bottom of the pool.
“What do you mean?” He asked, eyebrows squishing together in confusion.
“Your hair totally bled out in the water! Is it white? That’s so cool, dude!”
He looked around him in the pool to find dark green floating on top of the pool water and found himself panicking. He wasn’t supposed to let anyone know his natural color. He was supposed to match his mother!
(Not his missing father)
“Oh shit,” he whispered to himself.
“Woah dude, did Midoriya just swear?”
“Wait! Oh my god, he totally did!” “Your hairs so white!” “That’s so cool, super manly.” “You almost match Todoroki!” “Midoriya, I never would have guessed you dyed your hair!” It was too much. Today was already a bad day and this just made it worse. His head pounded against his skull as the voices got louder.
"Uh, y-yeah guys! I dye my hair to match my moms.” He rubbed his head sheepishly.
“Deku! What the fuck! You lied to me about your hair?” Kacchan yelled as he swam closer to him.
“I-I didn’t lie, Kacchan! You just never asked!” He waved his hands in front of him, slowly moving towards the pools stairs to get out.
“Damn it, what else are you hiding from me, nerd?!” He was sure that had they not been in the water, Kacchan would be sparking and sending him into a panic attack.
“Sorry guys, but I need to get out now!”
He ran up the stairs, almost slipping. Getting out of the pool, the neon green spark of One for All light up as he left the room with a burst of power.
The rest of class 1A looked at each other in shock, still surprised by the green water in the pool.
“That was super weird, right?” Asked Mina, her face contorted in confusion.
“Deku’s always been skittish but I haven’t seen him panic like that since the first week of school…” Uraraka’s voice replied quietly.
“Stupid Deku keeping this away from me, shitty nerd can’t even dye his hair properly.” Bakugou huffed, crossing his arms in the now still water.
Later, when he had taken a shower to get the chlorine off his body and another to dye his hair back to its unnatural forest green, Midoriya collapsed on his bed, knees tucked into his chest.
He needed to tell his mom he messed up, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. His hair reminded her of his father and he didn’t want to trigger her.
(He needed to be a good son. His mom had done so much for him! He couldn’t burden her with stupid worries about his hair. He already worried her enough and his dad was a taboo topic in the household. Any reminder shut his mom down and forced her to break down in tears, quietly sobbing about a husband who abandoned them after finding out about a quirkless son.)
Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, staining his bed spread and his chest heaved when thinking about his mom.
A knock on his door jared him out of his self deprecating thoughts and he limply stood to answer it, moving it open enough for his red eyes to gaze at a solum Todoroki, Uraraka, and Iida.
“H-hey guys, what’s up?”
“We wanted to check up on you, Deku!” (He flinched at the name, he knew that it was different now but with his thoughts and the bad day it was too much. Uraraka stood still, watching her friend move back into old habits and worried more.)
“I’m ok, I just get anxious about my hair,” he all but whispered out.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of your hair! Can we come in to talk?” Asked Iida.
“Uh, sure. B-but it’s kinda a mess right now.”
Moving the door open more, the gang of friends moved quickly inside.
His room had clothes pushed into a pile near the dresser with multiple hero figurines on it. The desk was covered in notebooks and loose papers with messy writing scrawled across it, the group could barely make out notes about quirks and heroes after briefly looking at them. All Might posters littered the wall with an occasional other hero, but the yellow hero lightened the dim room. It wasn’t that bad, but judging by the multiple dishes stacked on a bedside table, he wasn’t doing well.
The group sat on the floor near his bed.
“Listen Deku, (he flinched again and Uraraka worried more) we just wanted to let you know that your hairs totally cool!”
“Yes! Midoriya, there’s nothing wrong with your natural hair color.” Iida stated, moving his arm up and down.
He looked into his friends eyes and found no evidence of lies, but he still couldn't believe it.
“Do you think you could tell us why you don’t like it?” Todoroki looked at him with large heterochromia eyes.
Shifting his feet to his chest, he breathed out a sigh before looking to the ground. “It’s just that it reminds my mom of my dad. You know, he left when I was four and my moms been sensitive about it since. Not that I blame her! But keeping my hair green just makes her happy and it’s all I know now. Whites a rare color and I’d prefer to just keep it the same as my moms.”
Todoroki moved closer to him before gently putting his hand on his knee.
“Does your father define you?”
“N-no.”
“Does your father control you?”
“No.”
“Does your mother control you?
“No,” it was whispered out.
“Then why should you let them define who you are? Midoriya, you’ve helped me in the past, let me help you know.”
He gazed up into Todoroki’s eyes.
“I’m just scared, what if she finds out?”
“Why does it matter?”
“She’s my mom! I want her to be happy.”
“Shouldn’t she be happy if you’re happy? If you’re being yourself?”
“…I don’t know.”
His mom had always been his entire world. When he was alone, his mom would hold him and protect him from the world. She would support love him no matter what and for the longest time, she was the only person he had.
(He ignored the part that whispered to him that her helicoptering wasn’t good. That she smothered him and tried to plastic wrap him. He ignored the screams in his head that she crushed his dreams and cried in pity when he didn’t have a quirk. He wanted to cry when remembering the looks on her face when he came home bloodied and burned, only to give him a first aid kit while cooking them dinner.)
“I just don’t know what I should do.”
“You should do what you want to do!” Uraraka jumped up, fist clenched and eyes burning.
“Yes! Midoriya, you should be yourself, as long as you’re not breaking the law or hurting anyone.”
“Midoriya, you are not your fathers son. You’re yourself.” Todoroki's tone was soft as he rubbed small circles on his knee.
He burst into tears and threw his arms around a stiff Todoroki who robotically held him back. He was so lucky to have such supportive friends! He didn't deserve them.
“GROUP HUG!” Yelled Uraraka, jumping and throwing her arms around the pair. Iida followed her and gave him an awkward hug while reaching around his back and Uraraka’s side.
Maybe his day wasn't as bad as he thought when he had his friends.
The next morning when his head felt less full of cotton and more clear, he stepped into the shower and used the tropical shampoo and conditioner Uraraka picked up for him, letting the dark green drip into the clear water and run into the drain.